To say Yellow Diamond was angry was an understatement. No, as her eyes took in the procession below her, she was furious. Her gaze was like ice: freezing everything it touched until it shattered purely from the cold. Steven was faintly glad that, for once, that look wasn't trained on him.
"My Diamond!" Heliodor cried, dispersing her weapons as she snapped into a salute. "I assure you, I was just about to apprehend-"
"What," Yellow spat viciously, "is the meaning of this?"
Heliodor straightened, confused. "The traitors have ensconced themselves within this shield," she explained, still holding her salute as she nodded to the pink barricade, Steven and Amy huddled within, "but I was able to damage Rose beforehand; the construct is certain to fall when she succumbs to discorporation."
Yellow's eyes flashed to Steven, then narrowed, anger continuing to grow. "My orders were very specifically not to harm the gem accompanying the amethyst," Yellow intoned dangerously. "Under any circumstances."
Heliodor backpedaled. "But- My Diamond! She is Rose Quartz!"
Yellow's eyes flashed. "She is Pink Diamond." Her tone left no room for question.
Heliodor had taken on the almost-universal look of terror of a gem faced with an angry diamond, combined with a fair portion of abject horror. "I- That's not possible, My Diamond! Her gem-" Yellow's expression grew openly enraged and Heliodor snapped her mouth shut, sensing her grave mistake.
"Her gem is not your concern!" Yellow snarled, an angry motion of her hand calling forth lightning. Heliodor stepped back, cowed. "You dare question me? Know your place and cease your insipid excuses!" Heliodor, wisely, stayed silent, and Yellow continued, "You have assaulted a Diamond, Heliodor! Surely you know how grievous a crime you have committed- or must I spell that out for you as well?"
"No, My Diamond- I swear, I didn't know!" Heliodor was frantically searching for a defense, holding her diamond salute rigidly. She looked to Steven as if he would deny Yellow's proclamation, repeating, "I didn't know!"
Normally Steven would be the first to vie for a gem's innocence, but at the moment he really couldn't bring himself to care. He took in the ordeal unfolding before them with a hazy indifference, putting what little energy he had towards maintaining his bubble. He- they would be safe so long as it held.
Yellow, looking down on Heliodor like she was no more than a yapping dog, had heard enough. A bolt of lightning shot forth from her hand, enveloping the desperate commander, and in a blink Heliodor's gem fell to the ground. It landed with a macabre plink against the taut silence, every gem looking on in horror.
Amy shuddered next to Steven, eyes trained on Heliodor's gem. He shared the sentiment. Yellow turned her eyes on him, then, and even as he looked down he could feel the power of her gaze.
"Pink," Yellow demanded, "come out of there immediately."
Steven didn't bother gracing her with a reply. There was no way that was going to happen.
"You cannot be serious-" A muscle in Yellow's jaw twitched as she visibly restrained her fury. "Pink, the time for games is over; come out. Now."
"No," Steven said with a shudder.
Yellow's fist clenched, but she remained controlled. "There's no need to damage yourself to make a point, Pink. You can't stay like this, so you will come with me. Now."
"I'm not dropping my bubble until you promise not to hurt Amy!" Steven cried. "She didn't do anything wrong! -She was just following my orders!"
"Amy-?" Yellow began incredulously. Her eyes flicked to Amy, then back to Steven. "Really, Pink? All this over a single amethyst? If that's all you wanted, I could have offered you hundreds of suitable gems to choose from! Gems befitting of your station."
"I don't want an amethyst," Steven growled, another shiver running through him. "I want Amy!" He had to pause for breath, seemingly not able to keep the necessary air in his lungs to speak. Amy looked over at him, worried.
"This amethyst is not worth your attention!" Yellow shouted, glaring at Steven. He glared back.
He opened his mouth, a biting retort on the tip of his tongue, when Amy, strangely enough, stepped forward. Yellow's focus snapped to her; she instantly seemed to regret the move, but pushed forward nonetheless. She grimaced, bowing her head as she formed a determined salute.
"Whatever your judgement is of me, My Diamond, I know it to be just." Amy stated firmly. "I… I know I have no right to ask, but please, my only request is that you show leniency towards-" she hesitated, gaze darting to Steven for a moment, "Pink Diamond."
"And what do you know of Pink, Amethyst?" Yellow sneered, peering at Amy disdainfully.
Steven's eyes fluttered closed; he wrenched them back open - not was not the time - just as Yellow's eyes flicked away from him, deep with some unfathomable emotion. Something more than sheer anger. He didn't have the energy to analyze it.
Amy gulped. Still looking down, she seemed not to realize Yellow's sarcasm as she replied, "I… I know that she is having difficulty resuming her role on Homeworld- which is not her fault. She- she made an… error in judgement. One that you, My Diamond, will no doubt rectify." Yellow kept her calculated glare trained upon Amy and said gem shuffled beneath it, continuing nervously, "Pink Diamond has a strong sense of justice, but perhaps… uh, perhaps she has trouble realizing, at times, where best to direct her efforts. I know she will benefit greatly from your wisdom… and patience, My Diamond."
Yellow looked very much like she wanted to snap Amy in two- and would have, were it not for Steven's shield. Yellow's eyes roved coldly over the gem once more, picking her apart piece by piece. Yet when she spoke, to Steven's surprise, a minute amount of vitriol had left her tone. "I see Pink has repaired whatever defect you harbored."
Amy stiffened, hiding what Steven knew to be a wave of raw panic. "Ye-yes, My Diamond! I regret my former deficiency; I was truly unworthy to serve your court in such a state."
Yellow's eyes flashed back to Steven for a moment. She grit her teeth, no doubt swallowing a scathing remark. "And you were following Pink's explicit orders, Amethyst, as you wasted my troops' time and energy tracking you down?"
Amy opened her mouth, only a breath of air escaping. A moment of silence passed until, thankfully, she found her voice again. "…Yes, My Diamond." A lie. Amy had just lied to Yellow for him.
Yellow brought her hand to her brow. She took a deep, profoundly aggravated breath, then let it out in a huff. "Somehow," Yellow spat, "this single amethyst possesses more capability to follow orders than an entire squadron of my own elite gems." She cast her venomous gaze around, gems shrinking back in fear, before looking back to Steven. "I wouldn't go so far as to say she is worthy of your court, Pink, and certainly not the lengths you've gone for her to remain whole…"
Yellow ground her teeth, then clucked her tongue in exasperation, hissing a half-whisper, "This is absolutely ridiculous. I swear, Blue…" She grimaced as if swallowing a foul taste, and continued, louder, "Fine, take her, if this amethyst means so much to you. Her behavior was under your command and therefore the consequences are on your shoulders. But you will come now, Pink." The last sentence was less a demand, and more a promise of what horror would befall him if he continued to test Yellow's patience. Whatever force was holding back her fury had obviously reached its limit.
Steven figured he'd gotten the best he was going to get from Yellow; it was honestly more than he'd hoped for. He dropped the barrier, nearly falling sideways to the ground, were it not for Amy swiftly coming to his side. He was losing the battle to stay corporeal quickly; he couldn't feel his extremities, could barely even hold his head up straight. His injury was wearing him away bit by bit, like sand caught in the tide. How long until nothing was left?
Yellow drew closer. Steven's eyes slid closed, and he hadn't the presence of mind to reopen them. What was the point? She'd won.
"Please," he pled despite himself, his strength failing him. "Please don't hurt Amy."
"Pink-?" a worried voice whispered. And then silence.
Steven opened his eyes to darkness, and not the soft, gentle dark of a warm summer's night. No, this was the dark of an ancient temple, cold and vengeful with memories of the past. A biting wind howled against him, somehow coming from every direction at once; he shivered against its force.
Steven turned, stepping forward as he fought to escape the gale, when it suddenly went silent. A force moved in the darkness- not seen, but felt: a thousand rivers of energy converging in quiet. Steven glanced over his shoulder- and flinched back, breathless.
Pink Diamond loomed over him, diamond-eyes dark and cold: emotionless pits into a cosmic void. Steven stumbled back, but as he felt something behind him he recoiled, spinning around, only to find yet another image of her.
"No," Steven gasped, horrified.
Left, right, center he turned, but as he brushed past one image of his mom's diamond past two more rose to meet him, staring with those same empty eyes. He broke into a run, dashing around the phantoms- he had to get away.
"I'm not you!" Steven cried, dodging pink demons. "I'm not my mom!" And then, with a wave of anger, "Leave me ALONE!"
Suddenly all was silent: empty. Steven was alone. He huddled down in the darkness, tears falling silently to the floor. He couldn't stand to be a moment longer in such a dreadful place. He needed to get out.
The barest glimmer of light danced around him, a soft wisp of rose, and he was gone again.
Steven opened his eyes to light, bright and colorful, a wash of peaceful blues.
Ah- and there was Blue herself. Why was she-?
"Pink!" Blue fussed, scooping him up (at which Steven started terribly) and holding him close, checking him over. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?" She looked dreadfully worried, tears falling in streams down her face.
Steven looked around, taking in his surroundings. Wait-
"Where's Amy?" he gasped, standing up as he peered over Blue's fingers.
Blue let out a disappointed exhalation. "Pink," she chastised, bringing one finger to his cheek as she gently nudged his gaze in line with hers. "You can play with your new gem later; right now, we're discussing you."
He caught sight of Yellow looming in the background, arms crossed and stone-faced.
"Now, are you alright?" Blue asked again. She focused in on his navel. "Your… issue, hasn't worsened?"
Steven looked down, surprised to find his gem visible. His shirt- or… dress? That was new. -hugged his midriff, fitting perfectly around- oh no.
Steven ran his fingers over his gem, hoping he was just seeing things- but no, it was real. His gem had turned, no longer showing its top, pentagonal facet, but twisted on its side. Just like Pink Diamond's. No, it was Pink Diamond's. Why-?
"Pink?" Blue stressed, worry creeping back into her tone.
"I- I'm fine!" Steven stuttered. "Really, it's nothing. Everything's fine."
Blue frowned. She glanced down at his gem again, leaving Steven feeling terribly exposed. "Well, if you're sure…" She sighed, drawn. "You can't keep doing this, Pink. I know how you like your little games, but-"
"It wasn't a game!" Steven protested, surprising even himself. He could see Blue about to form a reprimand; another half-formed thought tumbled from his mouth. "I wasn't playing! I was- …scared." He glanced over at Yellow, then down, regretting having spoken at all.
Blue followed his gaze, brow furrowing. "You know Yellow would never hurt you." Steven hunched down and Blue cocked her head slightly, insisting, "…right, Pink?"
At Steven's lack of response, Blue lifted him a little closer to her face, gently chiding, "Pink… No one will harm you here. You're safe. Heliodor will be broken for what she did to you-"
"What, no!" Steven gasped, horrified. "You can't-!"
"She wounded you, Pink. Her actions are unforgivable-"
"She was just following orders!" Steven interrupted, and Blue frowned.
"She was disobeying her orders," Yellow hissed, finally looking over.
Steven's mouth went dry, but he objected still, "She thought I was Rose Quartz! You were about ready to shatter me when you thought I was her! How is this any different?"
Blue looked away, pained, but Yellow's mouth drew into an angry line. "Order must be upheld, Pink," she stated.
This couldn't be happening. Not again. "She wouldn't have disobeyed if she didn't think it was for the good of Homeworld! You already poofed her- isn't that enough?" Steven appealed. Seeing no progress with Yellow, he tried again, "It was me she hurt; shouldn't I be the one to decide her punishment?"
Yellow shook her head, exasperated, a rebuttal on the tip of her tongue.
"Please," Steven pleaded, swiping away a tear that trailed down his face, "haven't enough people been hurt because of me?"
Blue's face pinched in sympathy. "Oh, Pink, don't cry." Steven, regardless of her plea, continued to cry, and Blue added, compassionate, "Do you truly care so much for Heliodor's fate, even after what she's done to you?"
Steven nodded quickly, sniffling. "Of- of course! She was just doing her job- I was the one in the wrong. She never would've attacked me if she knew who I was."
He could see Blue begin to cave. She glanced back to Yellow. "How useful is she to you, Yellow? Surely, if Pink is telling the truth, it would be worth reconsidering her punishment."
Yellow's eyes grew hard. "Her worth is irrelevant. She injured a Diamond; her punishment is more than merciful for her crime."
Blue frowned, a hint of irritation snaking across her features. "I'm sure that we can overlook this one misstep on Heliodor's part, considering Pink herself wishes to grant leniency…?" She gave the other diamond an intent look. "She is willing to take the blame for Heliodor's actions, just as she has her new amethyst's."
"I will," Steven confirmed. Blue looked down at him at that, an acknowledgement that was almost… proud.
Yellow, thoroughly annoyed, turned away, decisive gesture accentuating her words. "What don't you understand about this, Pink? Your gems won't respect you unless you demand their respect. If I allow Heliodor to simply walk away without reprimand, there is nothing stopping her from disobeying orders again, or worse, influencing other gems to do the same."
"Nothing-?" Steven sputtered, incredulous. "Yellow, those gems are terrified of you. They want nothing more than to please you, Heliodor especially! This isn't- some sort of rebellion," he saw the other diamonds wince at the word, "it's all just a big misunderstanding!"
Yellow narrowed her eyes. For a moment Steven thought she would reprimand them both, ensure Heliodor's demise, but then she locked eyes with Blue. Her gaze softened and- something shone there, an emotion quickly buried. She sighed, wavering for a moment before relenting, "Heliodor will be stripped of her rank and the gems under her command, but her life will be spared."
Blue smiled gently. "Thank you, Yellow. I'm sure Pink is very pleased to hear that." She looked to Steven expectantly.
Steven nodded. "Yeah- Thank you, Yellow." The words tasted bitter on his tongue, but what else could he do? Make a scene- get chased around Homeworld again? At least this way, no one died.
Slowly, Blue's smile faded, a frown taking its place. "But the matter remains of your misconduct, Pink."
Steven bowed his head, inwardly bracing himself for what was to come. He peered up at Blue from under his lashes, waiting for the axe to fall.
Blue's voice grew pained, "I don't understand- Why would you run off like that, Pink? What were we to think? What would White think?" She paused, tears flowing once more. "You could have been damaged- or taken- …Or worse." Blue brought one hand to cover her mouth, trying and failing to contain her emotion.
Yellow glared, wiping her own eyes irritably, though completely unnoticed by Blue.
"I'm sorry, Blue," Steven murmured through his own tears, feeling more than a fair portion of guilt. He truly was the worst.
Blue sighed. "You made a mistake. One that you've taken responsibility for, and will not happen again- will it, Pink?" Blue insisted, a not-quite-question with only one answer.
"No," Steven breathed. "I won't run away again."
Blue nodded, relaxing, wiping tears from her eyes. She seemed quick to forgive, unlike Yellow- more relieved he returned safely than angry about his disappearance.
"But you still must be punished," Yellow interjected, flat, "or you'll never learn."
Blue looked away. "Yellow-" she began.
Yellow shot Blue a glare. "We discussed this, Blue," she stated, firm. "In fact, you insisted on it."
"I… Yes, Pink must face consequences for her actions, but the tower…" Blue frowned, worry plain. "I don't want her to be alone. Not after what's happened."
Yellow rolled her eyes. "Then take the amethyst with her." She crossed her arms, decided.
Blue's watery gaze shifted around the room, finally resting on Steven, still cradled in her palm. "I… suppose that would do." Blue looked down at Steven, deliberating. He knew better, by now, than to object.
Blue tentatively raised a finger, stroking his hair softly. "Are you feeling well enough, Pink? None of this… sleep, that happened last time?" She paused, then added, "I know this is difficult for you, but it's for your own good. You know how White would be if she found out you were running amok about Homeworld, unaccompanied. It's better it doesn't come to that."
"I'm okay," Steven said quietly. He really didn't want to think about what White might do to him; the other diamonds' punishments were bad enough as it was.
Suddenly, Blue Pearl's voice wafted through the quiet, a gentle deference, "My Diamond. Should I reschedule your meeting with the Morganites?"
Blue started slightly, as if the meeting hadn't even crossed her mind- and judging by her apprehensive glance between Steven and Yellow, it hadn't.
Blue opened her mouth to speak when Yellow cut in bitterly, "You should go, Blue. Pink is safe, and I assure you I am capable of escorting her to the tower myself."
"Are you sure-" Blue began, only to be cut off again.
"Yes, Blue," Yellow stressed, exasperated. "I am sure of my capability to traverse a quarter-facet without incident. A break from," Yellow gestured quickly to the room at large, "this, will do you good."
Blue still frowned, still unsure. She didn't seem very relieved by Yellow's assertions. Neither was Steven.
"I have things to discuss with Pink," Yellow added, and Blue's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Stars' sake, Blue, I will not frighten her away, I assure you. She will not leave my sight under any circumstances." Yellow was looking seriously put out at this point, and Steven hoped for his sake that Blue would make up her mind, either way. "I will not tolerate failure," Yellow insisted, intent. She opened her mouth to continue, paused, then added with utmost candor, "…especially from myself."
This seemed to placate Blue as she finally relented, "I should meet with the Morganites…"
Yellow nodded. "You should. And Pink will be waiting when your meeting is over." It seemed Steven didn't have a say in this. Not that he expected to.
Blue sighed, then carefully lowered Steven to the floor. Her hands lingered by him a moment more as she said, "We'll talk more later, Pink." She stood, then added, serious, "Behave yourself for Yellow."
Steven nodded.
Blue gave him one more look, then swept from the room, her pearl at her heels. Blue Pearl looked back at Steven as she left; he couldn't quite make out her expression, but he thought it might be disappointment. Somehow, thinking his stunt might've upset her hit harder than all the Diamonds' vitriol, and a knot of guilt settled definitively into his stomach. He'd really messed up.
The door shut; as soon as eyes were off them Yellow rounded on Steven, a tangible tension flooding the air. She waited a few moments more, eyes on the door, before snapping, "How dare you make a fool of me like that, Pink!" Ah- there was the Yellow Steven was used to. She threw her hands up in disbelief; Steven tensed. "To force my hand against Heliodor; what were you thinking?"
Steven opened his mouth but Yellow continued, "Of course- you weren't thinking at all, were you? You never think before you act, and look where that leads us!" She exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Just wait until White hears about this. You might have won your silly amethyst, but you know how White is- What she might do. There are better ways to get what you want." She crossed her arms, glaring down at him. "Ways that don't involve treading on White's cape, or-" Yellow's voice grew rougher, "or putting yourself in harm's way." She paused a moment, then gestured violently, agitation returning tenfold. "Well?" Yellow demanded. Steven flinched. "What do you have to say for yourself, Pink?"
Steven shrank back, mouth dry. No words came to mind. "I'm sorry," he whispered pitifully.
Yellow huffed, still caught up in her tirade. "And what about Blue? How could you run off like that, put her through thinking she'd lost you, again? She was devastated, Pink!" She shook her head, incredulous. "And, of course, she blames me for your little disappearing act! You act like you want to make things worse for yourself!"
"I don't!" Steven insisted, downtrodden. "I just- I'm sorry."
Yellow was silent a moment, appraising him. "Then act like it," she spat, then turned, leading the way out. Steven, sullen and dreading what was to come, trailed along behind her, shortly followed by Yellow Pearl, offering Steven a disdainful look as he passed.
As they crossed the room's threshold Steven saw her: Amy, standing stock-stiff against the wall in a permanent salute, the pair of topazes guarding the room leering in her direction.
"Amy!" Steven cried, running up to her. "Are you okay?" he asked. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"
"No, My Diamond," she replied, keeping her eyes downcast.
Yellow let out a huff of breath above him. "Your amethyst will need to be reformed, Pink, in accordance with your Court's attire. It is unsuitable for her to wear my insignia any longer."
Steven stiffened, panicking. She was going to poof Amy? "That's not- I mean-"
"It is a customary practice, My Diamond, when a gem is placed under a new command," Amy replied, shooting him a look that begged him not to object. "It may be done at your discretion."
"I…" Steven was still stunned. He looked up at Yellow. "Not- not right now, okay?"
Yellow rolled her eyes. "It will need to be done before she appears in public," she stated, then turned to continue down the hall.
Steven looked Amy over one last time, ensuring she really was well and whole (she seemed to be doing the same), then followed after Yellow, Amy keeping a respectable distance behind him.
They walked in silence for a while before Yellow looked back. "Keep up, Pink," she said irritably, slowing nearly to a halt until Steven made his way alongside, instead of behind her.
Yellow picked up the pace, though after a moment she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. She breathed in deeply, then spoke, "I don't know why you insist on seeing promise in lesser gems, Pink. You only waste your time, searching for something that isn't there."
Steven sighed. He really didn't want to argue with Yellow again. "Well," he offered, dejected, "you seem to see some promise in me."
Suddenly Yellow stopped, full attention on Steven as he turned back. "Pink," she admonished, mouth opening and closing several times, lost for words. "You are not… lesser."
Steven knew what Yellow wanted to hear from him: agreement, but he was just so tired of the way the Diamonds treated him. Surely, Yellow must realize that, despite her words, her actions spoke a completely different story. He shrugged. "I don't see you and Blue getting locked away," he said, a bitter overtone saturating his voice. He couldn't bring himself to regret his candor.
Yellow's expression turned pained for a moment, quickly replaced by a blank mask. She looked off to the side, taking in one of the many murals adoring the walls. "I know I have been… hard, on you, at times," Yellow admitted, "but it is only because I know the diamond you will be one day. You are not lesser, Pink. You are the authority: insurmountable, ineffable… perfect in every facet. Where you lead, all gems will follow." She fell silent a moment, suddenly seeming lost in a world of her own. Her voice was strangely empty when she spoke again, "You don't understand what White would do to you, for behaving like this. Blue and I… we only want what's best for you."
Steven didn't know what to say to that. Fortunately, Yellow didn't seem to expect a reply. Her eyes slid down to the floor, thoughtful, before she shook off her strange demeanor and continued forward.
No more words were spoken until they arrived at Steven's tower-prison.
Yellow paused before the twin doors, looking down at Amy. "Amethyst," she acknowledged, and said gem snapped into a salute. "You are to inform Blue if anything… unusual occurs while Pink is detained."
Amy nodded, questions swirling in her eyes. "Yes, My Diamond." She swallowed, then added, tentative, "Ah- but I don't have any means to contact-"
"Pearl," Yellow snapped, talking over Amy as if her mere presence was an annoyance, and the pearl dashed forward.
"Yes, My Diamond?" Yellow Pearl inquired, practically quivering with importance at being called upon.
Yellow demanded, "Provide the amethyst with a direct-line communicator."
The pearl drew a small device from her gem with a flourish, handing it to Amy with a haughty smirk as her Diamond redirected her attention.
"You are not to abuse this line; it is for emergencies only, or when you are specifically instructed to use it." Yellow's eyes bored into Amy, twin daggers warning what would happen if she failed to heed her words.
Amy nodded again, tension rolling off of her. "Yes, My Diamond," she asserted quickly, clearly wanting out of Yellow's line of sight as soon as possible.
Yellow nodded, then looked to Steven. She paused, assessing him a moment, before turning away without another word, opening the doors. She led the way into the prison cell, and Steven took one last breath of free air as he followed.
"Think about your actions, Pink," Yellow stated, in lieu of a farewell, waiting until Steven nodded an assent before striding out again, leaving him and Amy behind.
The doors closed, once more blocking out the world. Steven stood, staring past the gray blankness for a moment, then a minute, and yet longer as a tension grew within him. His hands clenched into angry fists; his mouth turned in a snarl.
Eventually, Amy spoke, a hesitant brush against the silence, "My Diamond?"
Steven spun to her, shouting, "I'm not a Diamond!"
Amy stumbled back, unbalanced by the sheer power of his voice, and Steven felt a pang of guilt. Yet, it wasn't enough to quench the rage suddenly boiling within him; if anything, it made it stronger. He whirled back to the door, unleashing a guttural scream as he charged it.
The door held firm against his shoulder, sending Steven tumbling to the floor, but it didn't deter him. He scrambled back to his feet, summoning two shields and charging again, then again, until on the third ram his shields shattered against the flat gray plane. He drew back his fists instead, throwing himself against the door, the sole thing trapping him in this wretched place, but, as always, he wasn't strong enough; he couldn't get free. It just wasn't… fair!
Steven's breath came in faint pants, jaw tight and body trembling as he finally turned away from the cell door. His eyes scanned the room - skipping over Amy, watching warily from the side wall - and landing upon the sole upper window. He crouched, then jumped against the far wall, back to the near one, and finally to the window, scrambling for purchase against the smooth stone.
He perched himself on the sill as least-precariously as he could, looking out over a crystalline Homeworld skyline that, in any other circumstance, would've been beautiful. He reached an arm out the too-small opening- or tried, but yanked it back with a yelp as he met the shock of an invisible forcefield. His fist clenched once again. Of course the Diamonds thought of everything. Of course he couldn't escape from this single room, let alone this damned planet.
Steven closed his eyes, setting his forehead against the stone with a resounding thunk. He let out a sigh- or more of a sob, really, cursing his own weakness. Everything he did only made things worse. Anything he tried was doomed from the start.
A shudder ran through him, along with a growing awareness of a tired pain within, resonating from his gem. He rested a hand over his navel, groaning as the pain flared, then receded. He'd never felt this kind of pain before, not to this extent; he must've really overworked himself with his shapeshifting act.
Steven offered the window one last sigh, then pushed off the wall, planning to float gently to the ground. Unfortunately, his gem had other ideas, and despite his desperate desire to not break every bone in his body, accompanied by wild flailing, he hit the floor with a resounding crash. He blinked, dazed as he lay on his back, before realizing he wasn't, in fact, injured. Huh. A small perk of being inorganic.
Amy rushed over as if to help him up, then hesitated, worried eyes flicking up and down his body.
"I'm fine," Steven sighed, thumping his head back to the floor as his gem flared again, burning lines of pain through his limbs.
"I'm sorry, My Steven," Amy offered, tentative. "I shouldn't have called you that."
Steven blinked, and the ceiling came into focus. After a moment he remembered what, exactly, she was talking about. "It's fine."
"I… if you're sure, My Steven," Amy said, stepping back. It was clear she didn't know how to take his despondency, but she continued to watch him nevertheless.
After a while Amy's stare began to grate on him; he reluctantly forced himself to rise, only to fall back to a knee as his gem flared once more.
"My Steven?" Amy questioned worriedly, coming closer again.
Steven opened his mouth to reply, offer some lame excuse, when another shock of pain took his breath away. He held his arms tightly to his stomach, protecting the only thing still keeping him alive. "I-it hurts." The words fell from his mouth before he had the chance to rethink them.
Amy blanched. "Your gem?" she asked.
Steven nodded, squeezing his eyes tight against the pain. But the moment passed and the shocks receded, vanishing once more. "It's okay," he said, rising on wobbly legs. "I'm fine."
It was clear Amy wasn't convinced. "I can call for help."
"Don't!" Steven cried, holding out a hand, as if to stop her. He took a breath; there was no need to scare her even more. "There's nothing anyone can do; it's fine, I promise. I just need to sit down."
Steven made his way to the wall, sliding down to a slumped heap on the floor. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically (or metaphysically, maybe). This day had really been the cherry on the cake, hadn't it? After everything, after escaping, he'd wound up in an even worse state than when he'd started, back in this stupid cell. His eyes flicked over to Amy, still watching him with concern. At least she was safe. Well, okay, not really safe, but at least she wasn't dead.
Steven sighed, pressing his hands into his eyes. Hands that were, as always, an unnatural shade of fuchsia. He didn't know why he was even fighting the notion still; it was undeniable- he was Pink Diamond, even if he wasn't that Pink Diamond. But to acknowledge that he'd have to put himself on the same plane as the other Diamonds, and he didn't know if his shattered soul could survive being compared to the very same genocidal tyrants that tried so many times to destroy everything he held dear. To destroy him.
Yet, could he truly, definitively say that he wasn't the Pink Diamond they thought he was? He might not have all his mom's memories, but he certainly had some of them. Without his human half, he was just his gem- Pink's gem. Who's to say that Yellow and Blue weren't right, that he wasn't merely a weak, amnesiac Pink, pretending to be someone he wasn't?
"I'm not her," Steven muttered under his breath. "I'm not Pink Diamond." His breath hitched and a small shock of pain ran through him, as if a punishment for his denial. "I'm not," he insisted, more desperately. He sniffled, pressing harder at his eyes to keep tears from forming. "I'm Steven Universe. I'm half-human, half-gem, I live on Earth with my dad and the Crystal Gems and Connie and Lion and everyone in Beach City. I'm not Pink Diamond. I- I'm not my mom. I'm not."
A sudden touch broke him from his reverie. He flinched back with a smothered yelp, only to find Amy before him once again, grimacing as she withdrew her hand.
"I'm sorry, My Steven," Amy began, but Steven had heard enough apologies.
"It's fine, Amy," he said, short. He closed his eyes again, trying to calm himself, when another wave of pain hit.
Steven bit back a whimper, wrapping his arms about himself as he tried, and failed, to will the pain away. Amy was at his side once more, hands hovering as she sought a way to help. While the previous episodes had been short, this one was not. It dragged on, a whirlpool of cycling pain, fire lancing through his limbs.
"My Steven?" Amy asked, voice high with restrained panic.
Steven shook his head frantically, clenching fistfuls of fabric as he rode out the final waves of pain, subsiding into a tired throb centered in his gem.
Amy made a small, perturbed noise. "I'm sending for the Diamonds," she said at last.
Steven straightened instantly, eyes flying open. "No!" he shouted, and Amy froze.
She turned her palms up slightly, a placating gesture. "My Steven…" her eyes flicked to his gem, "you need help."
Steven rubbed a few stray tears from his eyes, gazing at Amy, imploring her to understand. "Not from them."
Amy's face darkened, understanding, eyes downcast. She nodded, settling back into a kneel at his side, just far enough to be proper. Steven hated proper.
He shimmied closer, earning a wary appraisal from Amy. He sighed, voice weaker than he would've liked, "I'm sorry; I know you're just trying to help, but I can't go to the Diamonds."
"Because they did this to you," Amy finished the unspoken words. She seemed to find all the confirmation she needed on Steven's face, and an angry snarl crept around her mouth, tightening her jaw.
A wave of exhaustion swept over Steven, and he bridged the final distance between them to lean against Amy's shoulder. She stiffened, but didn't move.
"Is this okay?" Steven asked tentatively.
"It's not… proper," she muttered.
That wasn't a denial in Steven's books. He pressed his face more firmly into her arm. She was… "You're warm," he murmured absently.
Amy's head snapped to the side as she studied him with sudden intensity. "That's not… Why are you cold?" She placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "You're not supposed to be cold."
Steven shrugged. Did it really matter?
"My Steven?" He couldn't find the energy to reply. "Stars, this is not good-"
Steven felt himself drift away, pleasantly, and then nothing.
Steven shook his head, clearing the cobwebs that surrounded his thoughts. He pushed himself off the ground, looking around, only to find Amy nearby, frantically saying… something.
Concerned, Steven made his way over, reaching out to touch the amethyst. "Amy?" he questioned.
Amy flinched back, then froze, head swiveling back and forth, eyes passing right through him. "My Steven?" she whispered, tense.
"Amy, I'm right here," Steven said, bemused. "…Amy?" he questioned when she didn't respond. He reached out his hand again, brushing her shoulder. "Amy?"
"My Steven!" she sputtered, shocked. She looked down at… something… next to her. "What- where are you? What is this?"
Steven looked down at himself, noting a distinct translucence that he didn't normally possess. Actually, everything seemed slightly… off. Not-quite-real. Was this a dream?
"I'm… right here?" Steven answered. "Can't you see me?"
Amy looked down again. Something- someone was leaning against her, but he couldn't quite make out who… "Uh…"
Oh. Oh. He was asleep. Doing his weird psychic ghost thing. "Oh, Amy, it's fine- don't worry. Sometimes when I fall asleep I just kinda… end up like this. Out-of-body experience, you know?"
Amy's eyes flicked back and forth, searching, confusion evident. "…Sure."
Steven held back a chuckle. Why was he like this, though? He looked around, an impressionistic blur of gray surrounding him. Wait. If he wasn't in his body, he could go anywhere, couldn't he? He could go to Earth!
"Amy!" he burst, startling said gem. "Sorry- I have an idea! I'm going to see if I can get to Earth like this- maybe I can get my message through after all!"
Amy gazed through him, then looked down at his sleeping self again. "What about-?"
"Don't worry, once I'm done I'll wake back up. It might take me a while, though."
Amy looked distinctly worried at this, but nodded slowly. "By your leave, My Steven."
Steven removed his hand from her shoulder. First he had to find Earth…
He turned his gaze up, past the too-gray ceiling, and the stars spread endlessly before him. It was easier than he thought to find the distant pinprick of light that signified Earth- or, well, the general direction of Earth. It radiated familiarity, safety: home. He focused in, willing himself across the empty expanse of space, and began to move, further and further from the prison of Homeworld, gaining speed as he went.
And then he stopped. Steven drew back in surprise, peering through the mire of darkness surrounding him. Why had he…?
A sharp tug at his form set back him an- inch? A light year? Who knew- certainly not him. He whirled around, trying to find the ephemeral assailant, but was only met with more gloom. He twisted back and forth, losing track of direction in the empty blackness. Wait, where was Earth?
Suddenly Steven felt very lost and very, very alone. He craned his neck, trying to find the light that had so faithfully guided him before, only to realize that all of the stars had gone dark. Something had gone incredibly wrong, and a sudden, fearful chill came over Steven.
He floated a moment, waiting for the lights to return- for something, when he felt a brush against his consciousness. It was cold, oppressive: judgmental. He could feel it assessing him, deciding… something. Steven froze, fearful and helpless.
An echo of annoyance fluttered at the edge of his senses, blooming into a static disinterest. Suddenly there was light: too much light, blinding as it tore at his fragile half-self, hurtling him through an endless expanse of terror. He opened his eyes, tearing himself away from the claws around him- and stopped. The light was gone; he was back in the tower, a startled Amy saying something, hands splayed, nonthreatening-
"-you alright?" Her tone pitched up, worried eyes roving over him, "My Steven?" He hadn't responded; he should respond-
"A-amy?" Steven stuttered, still getting his bearings. What was that?
Amy let out a harsh breath of relief, approaching slowly. She muttered under her breath, "I knew I should've gotten help- no gem should be still like that…"
Steven blinked, then sat on the floor where he was, cradling his head. Whatever had happened, he still felt a million miles away. "Ugh," he groaned.
Amy crept closer, coming to kneel beside him. "Are you-" the answer to her question must've been apparent, as she changed track. "Did it work?" she asked, hushed.
Steven shook his head. "I didn't make it…" He took a few breaths, grateful that Amy chose not to press the issue. Eventually he felt calm enough to continue. "Sorry… that's never happened before."
Amy's eyes flicked to the side, then back to him. "Which part?"
A ghost of a smile flitted over Steven's face; he shook his head. The humor quickly disappeared, though, as he thought back to the searing light. "Something- someone pulled me back before I could get to Earth." He shuddered, an echo of the efficient, calculating presence rolling through his senses. It felt like… Steven's eyes widened. "I- I think it was White."
Amy stiffened. "White Diamond?" she hissed, looking around as if said gem would swoop down at any moment.
Steven nodded, the realization pulling the pieces together in his mind. He shuddered once more. "I don't think she wanted me to get to Earth," he said quietly. Then, a whisper, "I- I don't think I should try that again."
Amy looked fearful still, but offered a small nod.
A silence overcame them then, pensive, both muddled in their own thoughts.
Steven pondered. Was it really White that stopped him from reaching Earth? He shuddered, recalling the event again. He hadn't seen her, heard her, but yet, somehow he just… knew. It was White. And she wasn't happy with him.
He placed a hand over his gem, still aching off and on, still stuck in its unfamiliar inversion. The Diamonds were so determined to keep him on Homeworld, to make him her, to overlook and pluck away every remnant of his life on Earth. There was no way he was going to make it home, not with the way they were, and even less of a chance that they would so much as consider that they'd been wrong about him. He hated to admit it, to even think it, but things were hopeless. He was well and truly doomed.
A sudden motion caught Steven's eye, breaking his disagreeable train of thought. He looked over at Amy, catching the tail end of a shudder. He narrowed his eyes; something wasn't right.
"Amy?" he asked, and she straightened, glancing over questioningly. "What's wrong?"
She went completely still, gazing stoically at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Nothing," she replied, an obvious lie.
"Amy," Steven pressed, and she winced. "Amy, you have to tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong," she tried again, even less convincing than the first time. "You should worry about your issues with the other Diamonds, not me."
Steven pursed his lips. She wasn't getting out of answering that easy. He got up, frowning as he studied Amy more closely. She looked… tired. Gems weren't supposed to get tired, were they? Well- aside from him. He stepped closer, ignoring the wary look in Amy's eye. No, it was more than tired. She seemed… thin: worn, like a well-used blanket- not yet fraying, but not as strong as it once was.
"Amy, please," he insisted, "you can trust me."
Amy's fists clenched. She seemed to struggle with herself for a moment, then looked pointedly away. "It's not important, My Steven."
Steven narrowed his eyes. "Okay, that's enough," he said firmly, and Amy stiffened. "I already know you're off-color and I don't care, so whatever you're hiding you better spill it. You might think you're not important, or that your feelings don't matter, but they do, to me. So- just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it already!" He might've let a bit too much of his current frustration leak through at the end.
A portion of the oddly timid, insecure posture Amy had adopted left her, replaced by annoyance. That… was better. Then her form wavered slightly, almost imperceptibly; if he hadn't been watching her as closely as he was, he wouldn't have seen it. Steven crossed his arms, waiting. Sure enough, after another moment Amy rolled her eyes, letting out an irritated huff.
"Are you always this stubborn?" she asked, and Steven smirked. Amy rolled her shoulders back and sighed. She laced her fingers in front of her. "You know about my… issue," she stated. Steven nodded.
Amy hesitated, eyes flicking about as they fought not to land on Steven. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "You can't- I mean-" She scrunched up her face, running a hand over it. "I… I don't know if you'll… want me, anymore, if you know…"
Steven was aghast. "Of course I'll want you! I do want you!" He put a hand on Amy's arm, ignoring her flinch. "Amy, I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know that," Amy said, irked, "I just don't- I haven't-" Her hand motioned aimlessly, as if trying to pluck words out of the air. "Okay, fine, just- it's not good."
Steven rubbed a circle into her arm with his thumb before letting go, hoping the gesture was taken as comfort. "Whatever it is, it won't change how I think of you," he reassured.
Amy gave one final sigh, looking away, and then her form shifted. At first Steven didn't notice a difference, until Amy turned slightly, crossing her arms- well, two of her arms. A smaller third had appeared, tucked slightly behind her, as if trying not to be seen.
Steven looked her up and down. "That's it?" he asked, incredulous. Some of the fusions on Earth had way more arms than that. Honestly, he'd always thought extra arms were cool. Definitely not anything to be terrified over having.
Amy gawked at him, disbelief written on her face. "That- What? I mean- I have THREE arms, My Steven!" Her arms flew up as if to accentuate her point. "It's unnatural- abominable- I shouldn't exist!"
"Well, maybe to Homeworld," he sneered, making it clear exactly what he thought of their backwards ideas, "but then, neither should I, and that's not stopping me."
Amy blinked at him, speechless.
Steven snickered, then bent over in an outright laugh. "You- you should see your face," he wheezed. "What, did you think I'd be mad over that? I've had three arms when I fused with Amethyst!"
Amy choked. "You- fused? With an amethyst?"
Steven laughed again. "Well, yeah; fusion's not a big deal, Amy. The Diamonds might not like it, but I bet they just haven't tried it."
Amy looked like she might keel over at any moment, as if his singular statement had shattered the very foundations of her world. Steven kept laughing.
"Your gems must all be cracked," Amy said breathily, starting to pace. "To even think of fusing with- with you!" She gestured violently to Steven. "It's unheard of!"
Steven merely stuck out his tongue, leaving Amy gaping like a fish once more.
"You're insane. I'm insane; this is all cracked."
Steven rolled his eyes. "Relax, Amy, it's not like I'm going to fuse in front of the Diamonds. Besides, what are they going to do? Lock me up again?" He sighed, laughter fading. "Been there, done that."
Amy groaned. She shook her head, as if trying to forget everything she'd just heard. After a moment of silence she collected herself, then spoke again. "So… what's the plan?" Amy asked. "-Since Earth is out."
Steven sighed again. "I don't know. I just- I have to get back there. My family is there; they might not even know I'm still alive!"
Amy wasn't fazed by his heartfelt plea; if anything, she looked slightly annoyed. "Is Homeworld that terrible to you, that all you can think of is leaving?"
"What- Yes!" Steven exclaimed. "Amy, they killed me! They tried to kill my friends, my family! Then they dragged me here and have been keeping me prisoner for who-knows-how-long!"
"You know they won't let you leave- especially not after the stunt you pulled," Amy stated, flat.
Steven sighed once more, deflated. "I know."
It was Amy's turn to sigh. She ran her hand over her face. "Look, as a- uh-" she clearly struggled to find a word other than diamond. "As a gem in your position, there are certain responsibilities you have to fill."
"I don't want them," Steven scowled.
Amy huffed in exasperation. "The other Diamonds aren't just going to sit back and let you squander your abilities. You're expected to fulfill your duties, and if you don't you'll doubtlessly just end up back here, again." She gestured to the flat gray walls for emphasis.
Steven clenched his fists, tears pricking his eyes. "I never wanted this!" he shouted. "I never asked-!" He paused, then closed his eyes with a breath. He finished his statement softly, a bitter echo of Amethyst's in the empty Prime Kindergarten, "I never asked to be made."
Amy crossed her arms, frowning. "So, what, you're going to cry about it? A lot of good that'll do."
Steven felt a brief current of anger, quickly subsiding into resignation. She was right.
"You're a- a diamond," Amy continued, tensing as she was forced to say the word. "You so much as think it and gems would fall over themselves to see out your will."
"I don't want that!" Steven protested.
"It doesn't matter what you want!" Amy snapped back, then winced. She forcefully loosened her fists, calming herself. "I don't know what happened on Earth - you're clearly not who you were - but you are a diamond! You were made to rule, just like I was made to fight. It is your purpose."
"I… I was made to be a human being!" Steven protested, but his doubt was clear. "I…" What was he now, without his other half? A ghost of a human, torn from his body, or a gem, pretending to be something he never was? Could he really be nothing more than a cog in the Diamonds' wheel? Could he really be her?
Amy scoffed. "You can't change what you are," she said bitterly, hand creeping up to her gem. "I would know."
Steven's fingertips traced his own gem, a reminder of everything he was- and wasn't. His jaw tightened. "No," he stated, defiant.
Amy looked over. "What?"
"You're wrong," Steven said, determined. "You can change. Everyone on Earth has! Pearl used to serve Pink Diamond, but now she lives for herself! She taught herself to fight, to build- to be more than she was ever supposed to be! Ruby and Sapphire live as Garnet, and they've never regretted the love they share, even though they gave up everything for it! Amethyst was left behind, defective, but she's one of the strongest gems I know! She'd never stop fighting, and I won't either!" He paused for breath. "You think things are hopeless because that's all you've ever known, but there is hope. Change… change is inevitable; the longer something stands against it, the more it wears away, until eventually… there's nothing left."
Amy didn't look convinced. "You're not changing anything from in here," she said with a huff, giving the wall a disgruntled glare.
Steven sighed. "You're right about that," he relented. "And... and you're right about me being a diamond, too. Even if I don't want people to treat me like some sort of- deity, they're going to anyway. I just- I have to figure out how to make them see that I'm not that kind of diamond."
Amy snorted. "Not that my advice counts for anything, but that sounds like a bad idea."
Steven frowned. It certainly hadn't gone well so far. "Yeah," he said softly, disheartened. "Yeah, I guess it does."
Amy inhaled deeply. She readjusted her position, eventually ending up staring at him intently, obviously lost in some train of thought.
Steven shuffled, uncomfortable with just how keen Amy's gaze was. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.
Amy drew back, surprised. "Wha- uh. Nothing, I just…" She pressed her lips together, mulling over something.
Steven pulled together a questioning stare of his own and trained it upon Amy; after a moment she looked away, frowning.
"When you…" she trailed off with a half-shrug, her hands coming together as if cupping something. She peered down into her empty hands, conflicted, and started again. "I held your gem in my hands," she spoke softly, as if she couldn't believe her own words, then looked up, gauging Steven's reaction. What she saw must've been encouraging as she continued, "I never thought- I mean, you!" She threw her arms up, a dry laugh escaping her. "A diamond!" She shook her head in disbelief. "I guess you diamonds aren't so different from the rest of us, after all."
Steven's brows drew down, thoughtful. "No one's perfect, Amy," he said. "Not even the Diamonds."
Amy's hand flew up again, an objection, then settled into a dissatisfied fist against her cheek. "That's not what I meant."
Steven looked over at her, a wordless askance.
Amy tapped her fist against her lips. "Look," she said, pressing her palms together, "you're not what I- what anyone would expect from a diamond. You're…" she looked into Steven's eyes for a moment, and he could see a battle of emotion taking place within her, "kind. And naïve, yes. -Completely out of touch with what your position means. But to allow yourself to be damaged, for me…" Amy shook her head, then formed a diamond salute. "Even if I was given a choice otherwise, I would still wish to serve you. My life is yours unto shattering, My Steven."
Steven looked away, pained. "You don't have to do that, Amy. I'm not any better- or more important than you."
Amy dropped her salute and stalked over, stopping a pace away to loom over him, annoyed. "You don't get to say no, pebbl- uh, My Steven." She paused, making sure Steven wasn't mad before pressing on, "You already accepted me earlier, publicly; I'm just making it official. You are my Diamond… whether you like it or not, and you're stuck with me until you decide to break me, because no one else is going to take me after what I've done."
Steven opened his mouth but Amy was prepared, cutting him off, "I know you don't want to break me! Stars above, you're as transparent as a mica." She made a disgruntled noise deep in her throat. "I'm proclaiming you as my sole commander, my superior, my Diamond. It is a great honor - one of the greatest honors a gem can have - to serve you. -And don't you dare try to say otherwise!" She rolled her eyes as she finished, crossing her arms. Daring Steven to refuse her.
Steven really, really wanted to show Amy her true worth, but he could see she wasn't ready to accept it. He shook his head, a wry smile creeping across his face. "Okay, Amy," he relented, and said gem sighed in relief, apparently less comfortable telling off a 'diamond' than she made herself out to be. "But you're stuck with me now, too."
Amy huffed a laugh, grinning, a flutter of true happiness showing through, and Steven thought that maybe - just maybe - things wouldn't be so awful with her around.