"...!"
" ..gil"
" vergil..."
" VERGIL!"
The light...the blasted light...I can barely open my eyes. Great, here comes the pain. A taunting reminder of my foolish actions. A ghost from a very near past. My head feels like its spinning, I need to go back to sleep immediately. Did she have to open the curtains...? I can hear her coming down the hall...Perhaps if I feign deep sleep, she will have mercy on me and leave me be. This throbbing headache and intense sensitivity to light should be punishment enough. Must she force me awake ridiculously early as well? Not to mention the way she left me to myself last night...
"Rise and shine Vergil!"
Surely with this pillow over my head, she won't suspect me being awake. No wait, give it back...
"Let's go Vergil, it's morning and the office needs to be tidy before job calls start coming in. Up. Now."
I pitifully admit that watching her throw my pillow out of my reach has me feeling quite...what's a good word? Compromised. Yes. With the room spinning before my eyes, the sunlight burning into my retinas, and the unquenchable urge to vomit, to put it plainly, I feel like crap and have no desire to even move a toe. Regardless, I suppose she is not going to give me any other choice but to pay my dues and rectify the situation i've made for myself. Perhaps...
"Ari..."
"Hm?"
"Could you come here for a moment?"
This is my only chance to try and find another solution to my dilemma. After all, this wasn't necessarily all my fault. I was lured by a grinning pest into a foolish web, weaved intricately into a downward spiral with fermented drinks and crude taunts. Of course, I knew the outcome even before I agreed to his games. Hm... Have I gone crazy? What else would explain my knowingly walking into this atrocity?
...I feel like I am about to die.
Note to self: six bottles of anything, whether part of a game or not, is not smart.
She's sitting next to me now, staring. Undoubtedly awaiting the reason for my request for her attention...Her hand is incredibly soft; she's watching me with curious eyes. Yes, this is good. I will maintain eye contact with her while I kiss her hand as a symbol of submission. Hmm...Perhaps i'll glide my hand up her thigh...just like this. She's sighing. Yes my darling, give in to me and listen to my words...
"I've reflected on my actions and I realize the error of my ways. It's only right to handle the mess that I have made. However, I feel in order to ensure the job is done properly, I should allow myself a little more time to reach my full capacity. This hangover has me sorely impaired."
"Aw, poor baby."
Her embrace is so warm. She's rubbing my hair now. An indication of understanding perhaps? Yes, I can see it in her eyes as she's gazing at me now.
Jackpot.
...
I retract my previous exclamation. Even now as I walk down these creaking stairs I fail to understand how women can be so cruel. What I assumed was a gaze of compassion was merely a facade to mask what was coming next. She turned the radio on and blasted it to the high heavens, leaving the room and forcing me out of bed in order to stop the noise. Of course i'm sure she won't be happy to know that I hurled the thing off the balcony. Apologies to the yelping dog it landed on.
Hm. It seems he has been forced from sleep as well...
Dante sat on the couch in a slump, his elbows resting on his knees and his chin in his hands. His eyes struggled to keep themselves open as he sat unmoving, reluctant and utterly aggravated. If looks could kill, Dante's lazy eyes would have floored anyone who passed his gaze at that moment. Dante was not a morning person and he definitely wasn't one when he only got two hours of sleep the night before.
Vergil dragged his feet as he descended the stairwell. Glancing around, he began to survey the damages caused by him and his twin from only a few hours ago. Dante's desk had been completely trashed; empty liquor bottles littered the dark top, along with ripped magazines and what seemed to be smashed food. Shifting his gaze around the room, Vergil observed beer bottles standing in various places on the hardwood floor, the tall shelf that usually held random trinkets and knick-knacks had been toppled over and the couch itself was newly charred on one side.
But it didn't end there. Vergil grimaced at the sight of what seemed to be vomit on the floor near the drum set and drumsticks stuck in the wall above it. Of course the drum set itself had been stacked in an odd fashion to resemble some kind of pyramid formation and the pool table...oh, the infamous pool table...it was in shambles. Five shambles to be exact.
But where are the...? Hm.
Vergil looked up to see the billiard balls stuck snugly in the ceiling. Although he tried, he could not come up with any plausible explanation for them to be up there. Even in the case of drunk people, it was hard to come up with a scenario that would end with billiard balls being stuck overhead. What did they do? Just throw them up for fun...?
Vergil's hand instinctively went to his stomach. Yeah maybe he should hold off on the phrase "throw up" for the next day or so...
Sitting on the couch, Vergil leaned his head back and closed his eyes, releasing a deep sigh.
"Good morning sunshines!" Trish sauntered down the steps with a huge smile on her face, not at all sparing any noise as she did so. Scratching a slender finger in her messy bun and straightening her pajamas, she stood at the back of the sofa and put her hands on her hips.
Neither Vergil or Dante responded in any way.
"Hey! Get up and get started on your chores, we don't have time to waste!"
"Do you have to be so loud?" Dante's eyes turned and glared at the blond behind him. He got it already. He made a dumb decision and now he's gotta pay for it twofold. She didn't have to rub it in...
"Did you guys have to be so destructive?" Trish was amused .
Dante rolled his eyes in a huff and stood from his seat. Surely he loved her, no doubt about it, but sometimes he didn't like her. He concluded that there were only a few things that Trish absolutely couldn't resist: cats, beetroots, and picking on him whenever she got the chance. Of course it wasn't like he spared her any ridicule when odd things happened to her either. Like that one time she was snooping around in the boxes under his desk and ended up accidentally touching her head to the underside of the desktop...where a fat wad of his gum was being stored.
She had a little bald patch for a month.
Of course, after a few times of him referring to her as "patchy" and "madame bald spot" he ended up with a black eye. Yet, he still had no regrets at busting his guts laughing at his poor wife. The only thing he regretted now, was that dumb drinking game he and Vergil played last night. His head hurt so bad at that moment, he could chew nails...wait, what?
Dante made his way to the kitchen to grab a broom and when he returned, Trish lifted an eyebrow at him. He decided to ignore it and work to get the mess cleaned up as soon as possible so he could go back to sleep. As far as he was concerned, he didn't want to talk, he didn't want to listen, he didn't want raised eyebrows. All he wanted was for everyone to leave him alone.
"Dante."
"What?"
A look of surprise mixed with amusement covered Trish's face, "Hey, don't get all grumpy with me mister. I didn't do any of this. I just want to let you know you need to clean up that throw up first. It's stinking up the place." Trish's face twisted into a grimace as she glanced to the offending spot. Turning on her heel she began to make her way back upstairs, "Paper towel's in the pantry."
Dante scoffed and continued to sweep before suddenly freezing. His eyes slid over to the couch and narrowed before he stomped his way over to it. Frowning, he gave one of Vergil's ears a hard flick and before he knew it, he was dodging a fist.
"Do you have a death wish?" was the cool question posed from the elder twin as he now stood inches away from his doppelganger, glaring dangerously. He had gotten off of the couch with a quickness that only Dante could have ever been prepared for. He had aimed to connect full on with Dante's jaw when he felt the sharp head pain jolt through his brain from the ear flick, but the younger had caught his fist in his hand before he could make contact.
"No. But we have a mess to clean. So get up and help." Dante returned Vergil's look with a glare of his own. There was no way he was going to just sit on the sofa in peace while he was left to clean up everything.
Vergil scoffed as he yanked his hand from Dante's, "Neither of us are content with these circumstances but you had better control your tantrums. Touch me again, and you'll lose that arm."
"Yeah, yeah." Dante waved his hand dismissively as he turned to refocus on sweeping, "Hey, Trish said paper towel is in the kitchen. Get that barf up over there will ya?"
"No." Vergil strode passed Dante, completely unphased by the look on his face.
"What?"
"Are you hard of hearing? I said no. You do it."
Dante was becoming indignant. Here he was, head throbbing, body aching and sweeping a floor, simply trying to get this done and Vergil was blantantly making things more difficult.
"You do realize they're gonna keep hounding us until this is done right? That means, no sleep, no peace, and no quiet until then. And you're saying you're not gonna help clean a mess that you helped ma-" Dante was beginning to raise his voice before Vergil cut in.
"I never said that, so don't put words in my mouth fool. Let me remind you that you are the reason we're in this mess in the first place. And furthermore, I recall you also being the one who emptied your bowels over there, not me, so you will be cleaning that up." Vergil's eyes narrowed, practically daring Dante to challenge him. With the way he was feeling at the moment, today would be the day that he'd put him through a wall if he did. He turned and began picking up things from the floor to place them back into their proper places.
"Whatever, just help." Dante swept the floor with a vengeance, "...Dante jr."
Vergil went rigid. His eyes narrowed and he turned his head slightly.
"What did you just say?" Vergil's voice lacked any emotion and he was sure he felt the blood drain from his face at the thought of what Dante had just said. He was sure he had won last night's game against him. Yes, he did...right?
"I said your name for the next week mini me."
No. It can't be.
Thats when the memory came flooding into his mind...
~o~o~o~
"Yooooo Verge, hurry up and hit the bawl dood." Dante was laid across his desk pointing a pool stick up at the ceiling and sky writing with it, while his other arm dangled holding a bottle of scotch.
Their game of billiards had been going on for over an hour and both brothers were determined to win. Each armed with their own tactics and skill sets, they took care to play their best game and avoid minor hiccups like the plague. They both had alot riding on this game after all.
So far, they had been sinking balls back to back. Somewhat. Well, in between distractions anyway. Every time a ball was pocketed, they'd get distracted and do something completely unrelated before coming back to the game for the next turn. So far they had managed to bake some kind of bread loaf, couch dive, have a chugging contest, play indoor baseball, have a wrestling match, and have a concert with Dante on drums, Vergil on Nevan (until she started clawing to try and take off his pants), and both on vocals, all in between their turns in the game. Whether it was the effect of the alcohol, their way of trying to delay the end of the game, or a bit of both was totally up for debate.
However, although they had been pocketing the targets right and left, there was a slight problem...
It was currently Vergil's turn and there were four balls left on the table, including the eight ball. The elder's head lay awkwardly against the green felt of the table as his lip curled in concentration. He shuffled his feet slightly to maintain his balance as his feet were spread quite a distance apart. In fact, there had been a couple of moments where he had to throw himself backwards to keep from busting some kind of awkward split (much to Dante's amusement). Well...in his case, he was sure it wouldn't quite be a split he would end up busting so it was pretty much a life or death scenario...
Nevertheless, as he carefully aimed his pool stick he knew he had to deal with the odd stance in order to get the shot he wanted. Aim. Pull. Shoot.
*clack*
"Fouuuul." Dante slurred as he sat upright with a grin plastered on his face.
Vergil let out a deep breath before grabbing his glass from the floor and slamming back the contents. He cleared his throat after the liquid danced like fire down his esophagus.
Dante stood up and walked over to the table, leaning on his pool stick, "Tsk. Tsk."
"What?" Vergil furrowed his brows.
"You gotta foul."
"Yeah."
Dante's grin widened, "You know what that means dontcha?"
"Give me some bread." Vergil stared at the dilapidated loaf of homemade bread that sat in a bowl on a nearby shelf.
"Noooo. Oh." Dante grabbed the bowl from the shelf and handed it to Vergil who began picking pieces from it and stuffing them into his mouth appreciatively. "What was I saying?"
Vergil shrugged, still stuffing his cheeks like a chipmunk.
"Oh." Dante reached over, taking some of the bread for himself before it being moved out of his reach when Vergil turned to block his access.
"Hey! Gimme some more! It's both ours!" Dante reached for it, but Vergil side-stepped.
"No. Ish moine."
"But I need it. You can't even put anymore in your mouth greedy!" Dante's shoulders slumped as he watched Vergil defiantly stuff more bread in his face, "Hey, say chubby bunny..."
"Shubby bunyi." Vergil nudged the bowl into Dante's chest and in turn, the younger twin gleefully took a handful and started to form it into a ball in his hands.
Once he was satisfied, Dante took the ball and sat it on the pool table, "Oh yeah! You got a foul, you know what that means?"
Vergil looked at Dante in silence as he continued chewing. Dante leaned down and hit the bread ball with his pool stick. However, instead of it launching forward, it got skewered. He lifted it and examined it for a moment before starting to eat it off the stick.
"Six fouls in a row. That was your third and I did three before you. And there's uh...one eight ball and two other ones on the table."
Vergil motioned for Dante to continue his explanation.
"Two words. Stale mate." Dante's eyes studied the table and he nodded his head in affirmation.
Swallowing the last of the bread in his mouth, Vergil looked down at the table and lifted a brow.
"Um. So. What then?" Vergil leaned on the table as he felt himself almost lose balance from his intoxication.
"We both don't win. Aw." Dante's face fell in a comical frown for a few moments before perking up, "Wanna throw the balls at the ceiling for making us lose?"
~o~o~o~
That's right. It was a stalemate. And that means...
"You lost as well." Vergil stared pointedly at Dante whose grin faltered and turned into a frown.
"Uh. No. I won. You lost." Dante turned his back and began sweeping, "Just accept your penalty like a man, bro. Y'know, honor and all that."
"And there is no honor in lying brother. Last night's game was a stalemate. Which means neither of us won."
"What?"
Vergil narrowed his eyes, "And since neither of us won, then what is the only other placement?"
Dante spun on his heels. There was no way this was happening right now. First the painful jaws of a hangover gets a hold of him, preceded by a lack of sleep, and now he was being presented with something much worse than the both of them combined. This couldn't be happening. He was sure he had beat Vergil in pool last night. There was no way they stalemated.
"How would you know? You were drunk as a skunk!" Dante started to feel a bit twitchy...
"As were you, but I remember, that's exactly how it ended. Take a look above your head." Vergil raised a finger towards the ceiling.
Dante's eyes shot up and as soon as his eyes met them, he remembered...
"According to you, 'The balls made us lose' so that was their fate. Remember now?"
Dante's lips slowly parted as realization hit him and his own words played back in his head like a tape recorder. He clearly remembered explaining to Vergil the outcome of their game according to the official BCA 8 ball rules that they were playing by. It was true. They had stalemated. And as a result it wasn't just Vergil who was about to have a week of agony, but...
"We both lost Dante. I'll be buying your chastity device today, dear brother."