The small chip in the middle of the Hinobi gaming console cracked open, and a burst of green energy sprang forth into the circuitry. The gamer on the other side was unaware of what was occurring as he plowed through the world of Near Scream, Hinobi's seminal open-air sandbox game. No sooner had he reached 25% completion than an unearthly green glow behind the system caught his attention, and he paused the game in confusion as he got up to investigate. He peeked behind his entertainment center and studied the tangle of cords and wires hidden by the large piece of furniture; everything appeared to be in order, much to his relief. His fears sated, he returned to the couch and unpaused the game, continuing his efforts to bring down the crime syndicate running rampant in the city.
The glitch followed the wires to the rear of the man's house, taking care to avoid detection as it reached the electrical box that connected the power lines to the dwelling. It traveled up the wires to the transformer on the pole nearby, and when it reached its destination, electric green ripples shot out of the box and transformed into perfect replicas of human flesh, dotted with scars and tattoos. Within seconds, the glitch was less a glitch than it was a man in his late thirties. He crouched atop the pole and scanned the horizon, taking in his surroundings as he shook his head in amazement and let out a sadistic chuckle.
"What a world," he mumbled to himself as he began to climb down. "One can always do for a little change of scenery. And now... to find a target." He hit the sidewalk and began to stroll alongside the street, keeping his eyes open for anything or anyone. The midsummer night was silent and empty, but it didn't take long for a pair of headlights to illuminate whatever wasn't lit by the street lamps and catch the glitch's attention. He turned his head and noticed a Hinobi van heading down the street, and a quick glance inside revealed that the driver was a teenaged Hispanic boy with a bouffant hairdo, and his passenger was a teenaged Asian girl with hair that was two different shades of purple and a set of eyes that radiated excitement. He watched as the vehicle sped off into the distance, and his eyebrow arched in curiosity.
"Target acquired."
Neither the driver nor the passenger noticed the man on the sidewalk as they sped off towards their destination, and the girl turned to her partner and exclaimed, "Faster, Five! Faster! We've gotta hit this glitch before anyone else does!"
"Miko, we'll get there," Five assured her. "Don't worry; you'll get that XP and you'll be able to get that upgrade you've had your eyes on before you know it!" She growled in frustration and replied, "It's times like these that I wish life had a fast-forward button... I'm achin' for some action, man!"
"Well, that ache's about to be soothed, because there it is!" Five pointed straight ahead at the scene before them: a red gorilla standing atop the skeleton of a multi-story office building, throwing barrels at a fiery oil drum. The van swerved around so the rear doors were facing the glitch, and Miko and Five burst out in a dramatic flourish, guns drawn and ready to rock. Five grinned as he brandished his weapon, declaring, "Time to stop monkeying around!"
The glitch turned its attention to the duo and let out a loud, digitized shriek as it threw a pair of barrels at them, both of which were easily dodged as Miko and Five began their ascent. Miko grabbed a hammer floating in the air as a series of barrels rolled towards her, and as soon as her hands were around the pixellated wood, a jaunty tune began to play as video game logic took its course and the hammer developed a mind of its own. She let out a surprised scream as she plowed through the barrels with little effort while Five ran through the plixels flying at him and activated his rocket boots. The force launched him into the air and over the glitch, and while the gorilla continued to toss barrels, Five fired a series of shots from his plixel gun that beaned the digital ape in the top of its head. It let out a pained screech as it looked up, and once it saw the source of its agony, the ape gritted its teeth and chucked a barrel right at Five.
"Oh, nerds!" Five leaned to the right and zipped away from the barrel, but his momentum sent him crashing into an exposed metal beam. As he slid down with a pained groan, Miko touched the screen on her gauntlet and released Ally. She let out an excited caw as Miko jumped on her back, just in time to see a trio of barrels approaching them one after the other. Ally ran at the obstacle and took a mighty leap, and her momentum carried the duo over the barrels with little effort. 300 points were earned as Ally stuck the landing, but as she approached the jump leading to the top beam, another barrel rocketed towards them. Bird and rider both let out a scream as the projectile beared down on their location, but no sooner had it gone airborne than it exploded in a burst of plixels. Miko and Ally lowered their defenses and looked towards the sky expecting to see their teammate. Much to their chagrin, it was indeed one of their teammates... but not the one they were hoping for.
"You can thank me later, noob!" Mitch Williams rocketed towards the ape, dual-wielding a pair of plixel guns that he fired one after the other. The glitch reeled from the assault as Mitch circled around and continued to fire while Five shook the cobwebs from his head. When he looked up and saw who had rained on their parade, he narrowed his eyes and activated his rocket boots. He wound up on the opposite side of the circle as he and Mitch kept firing at the ape, and it wasn't long before the pair had cracked open the plixels of the character and exposed the green glitch within. Mitch and Five both sported determined grins as they rocketed towards the glitch with gauntlets outstretched, each of them eager to claim it. Before they could, however, a flash of red and purple tore through the sky and captured the glitch; Miko and Ally let out a victorious series of caws and whoops as they celebrated. As the glitch and its projectiles dissolved, the collective forward momentum caused both Five and Mitch to crash into each other, sending them both plummeting to the ground. It would have been a rough landing if not for an assist from Ally, who caught the duo in her talons. 20,000 experience points were earned as Miko declared, "AWRIGHT! That was bananas, but in the end, we had to split! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Five rolled his eyes at her pun while Mitch slapped his forehead and let out a frustrated groan as Ally came in for a landing. She dropped the boys on the ground before she did so herself, and once Miko dismounted, she gave Ally a hug and a kiss before she returned her to the gauntlet. Mitch shoved Five off of him, stood up and dusted himself off, saying, "Looks like you win this round, noob."
"Why, thank you, Mitch," Miko replied with a smug curtsy. "And thank you for saving me back there! Why, if it wasn't for you, who knows what could've happened? I could've had a nasty welt on my noggin, or Ally could've lost a hit point! Gosh, I have so dang many berries in storage, it's almost like that wouldn't have even mattered!"
"I get the point, Kubota," Mitch growled as he ran his fingers through his hair. "You may be laughing now, but mark my words: there will come a day when your life will be in my hands. And you'd better hope that I'm in a good mood when that day comes."
"Oh, sure," Five cracked. "By my estimation, that day's gonna arrive, oh... on the twelfth of Never!" No sooner had he begun to laugh than Mitch blasted him with his pause ray, freezing him in place for one minute with his mouth wide open. With the annoyance silenced, Mitch turned his attention back to Miko and said, "It's happened to everyone I know, noob. One day, they bit off more than they could chew and were crying, begging, for someone from HQ to help them. And who should come in to solve their problem... but little old moi?" He walked past her, pointing dual finger guns in her direction as he reversed course and began to back up. "Your day will come, you two! And when it does, it'll be that much sweeter! Enjoy your XP, because next time I'm playing for keeps!" Mitch climbed into his Hinobi van and headed back to the store, but not before driving past Miko and Five one more time and giving them a sarcastic wink and a "Boosh!"
Five... four... three... two... one... The pause ray's effects wore off as Five began to laugh again, but there was no one to laugh at. Once he noticed that fact, he shut his mouth and let out an embarrassed chuckle as Miko grumbled, "'Your day will come, you two!' UGH! That guy just loves the sound of his own voice, doesn't he?"
"Yeah," Five added. "Almost as much as he loves himself." Miko shot him a confused glance and asked, "But... isn't that the same thing?"
"What are you talking about? A guy loving his own voice and himself is in no way the same thing. I mean..." As the duo headed back to their van, a set of eyes observed them through binoculars from the roof of a six-story office building across the street. The glitch had seen it all, and he could scarcely believe his eyes. He let out an astonished laugh as he said, "Targets... definitely acquired." The Hinobi van disappeared into the distance as the glitch placed the binoculars in his backpack and said, "Now I just have to send them a message."
His human form transformed into green electricity as he leapt into a nearby power line and headed towards the heart of Bailley, making sure to avoid detection by staying at least a hundred feet behind the van. When Miko and Five pulled into the strip mall, the glitch stopped at a transformer across the street from the building and observed the duo exiting the van and entering the store. Once they were inside, the glitch assumed human form on the ground and approached the facade as he looked around and took in his surroundings. He only got as far as the first row of parking spaces, however, as an invisible barrier halted his progress; his attempts to get around it were halted once he discovered it formed a protective circle around the store. "Must be some kind of security system," he said to himself. "No matter. I'll just use the tried and true approach."
He pulled a notebook and a pen from his backpack and scribbled his greeting before tearing the sheet out and placing it under the windshield wiper of Miko and Five's van. The glitch nodded and said, "That should do it. Now... to find a homebase." He walked back towards the power lines, turned electric, and leapt into the power source.