CHAPTER THREE HUNDRED TWENTY ONE
Viktor's words were like echoes underwater; Yuri could barely hear them, and he definitely couldn't understand them. He felt separated from himself, like his limbs were controlled by strings. He watched his hands come up to either side of his face, but couldn't tell if he was the one moving them or if someone else had. The peripheries of his sight were starting to darken, too, and he crouched down on the ground before he dropped to it. The ringing in his ears followed. He could see the shadow of his partner just outside his line of sight, and hear the low vibration of his voice, but still couldn't understand him. Yuri closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a whirl of dizziness wash over him, but when he opened them again, Viktor was putting him down on a seat nearby, and had started fluttering the front of his shirt to move the air around him in an attempt to cool him off.
"...They...fired you..." Yuri finally managed, his skin feeling clammy and cold despite the heat in his chest, "...But...why...? When?" His body felt limp, but Viktor pulled him over to one shoulder to hold him steady.
"Are you sure you want to hear this right now?" The Russian asked, his voice still somewhat muffled, "You're 2 minutes from making your victory walk."
"It's not going to be much of a victory walk anymore, now is it!?"
Viktor was taken aback by the outburst, and confused, "...I'm not sure what the problem is. If the RSF doesn't want me anymore, then it frees me up from all the prior obligations I had; the very ones that we spent all weekend worrying about. I don't have to go away for Nationals anymore...I can come to yours like I wanted to anyway. I don't have to forsake you during the Olympics. We don't even have to go to Euros anymore, so it gives us more time before Worl-"
"How can you be so calm about this!?" Yuri barked, "You gave the RSF the last 15 years of your life! Youbasicallyranawayfromhometojointhem! You're a living legend! The greatest skater of our generation! And at the end, they just threw you under a bus like a piece of trash!?"
"I won and rejected a Gold medal." Viktor corrected, "What good am I to Russia if I'm giving up my trophies?"
Yuri just dropped forward, hands covering his face, elbows on his knees. He tried to regain his focus, letting the fuzzy feeling in his head pass as he tried to slow his breathing. The whole while, he could feel his partner's hand rubbing slowly up and down his back, but Viktor himself seemed at a loss for words. It was even worse when the Russian spotted the tears trailing down the side of that pale face, dripping down against Yuri's palms and wrists, into the sleeves of his jacket, "...This is...this is my fault... I...I could've let you...retire with dignity...on your own t-terms... But I dragged you back into things anyway..." He started quietly, "I made the wh-whole world mad by taking you off the ice to be my coach... And even though I tried to cut you loose, and give you back...in the end, I asked you to come back for selfish reasons, too..." He tried to rub his eyes on his coat sleeves, pulling his glasses away with his free hand, "...If I kn-knew what this season was going to be like...I would've never a-asked... This has all just been...s-so hard... And now y-you're paying the p-price..."
"...I didn't let you quit either though." Viktor pointed out, "You had all but announced your retirement from skating when I showed up. You cut off ties with Celestino, and went back to Hasetsu without a plan. I wasn't even sure what my plan was going to be after Worlds that season. We both wanted to stick with it, but couldn't find the way on our own."
"...But now, your way has been cut down..."
"That's not true." The Russian leaned against his husband's back, and snaked his hands through the space under Yuri's chest, resting his chin over one shoulder, "I still have you. I can still coach. I don't need to be part of the RSF, or any skating league, to do that. ...Unless...you plan on quitting now, too." His voice tapered off to a quiet, disappointed tone.
"...I can't think... I'm just...getting a headache..."
Viktor lifted his head and looked around, then nudged his partner, "There's a café just over behind us. We can sit there for a bit if you want."
Regardless of knowing that there would be a crowd waiting for them on the other side of the terminal, Viktor wouldn't let Yuri through to it in the condition he was in. He sat the man down at a small circular table, bought them both something to drink, and returned to take a seat opposite the weary skater with a packet of Excedrin.
"Take these before your headache sets in." The Russian instructed quietly, tearing the small paper sachet open and dropping the two white tablets into his husband's hand, "Let's just try to forget about the phone call for now. Nothing about the next week and a half will change because of it." He went on, watching as Yuri slipped the tablets into his mouth and washed them down with a sip of the hot chocolate that had been put in front of him.
A few minutes went by in awkward silence. Yuri kept his eyes down on his drink, fingers curved around the paper cup. A thousand things went through his mind, and yet there was silence, too. Thoughts from the voices of a crowd coalesced to the singular hum of a bee hive in his skull. It only faded when he felt a buzz in his pocket, and reached to pull his phone out, seeing a text from Yuuko there.
[どこにいるの？]
Dark eyes looked at the kana, but Yuri's brain was too numb to think of what to say in response. He simply unlocked the device, set it on the table, turned it, and slid it across towards his spouse, "Please talk to her. I can't."
Viktor blinked at it, "...Do...do-ko...ni... I don't know what this is."
"Doko ni iru no." Yuri stated, lowering down to bury his face in his folded arms on the table-top, "She's asking where we are." His voice was muffled against his jacket sleeves.
The anxious Russian let his drink go to pick the phone up in one hand. Given the Japanese text of the previous message, the standard QWERTY keyboard had been replaced by one that looked more like a calculator than anything; 3 rows of 4 columns in center with basic kana characters, arrow buttons on the top left, backspace on the top right, and a small globe-like icon next to the microphone for voice messages on the bottom left. Above it was a button with ABC written in English text. He clicked it, and the keypad changed over to what looked like the texting pad of an old flip-phone, with three letters on each button and punctuation on the bottom row. He made a face and clicked the globe button instead, finally finding his way back to a keyboard he could actually use. Oddly, while the keyboard was in English, the function buttons were still in Japanese, and as soon as he started typing, the word recommendations bar came up with a slew of Japanese words he might've been seeking; it was a Romaji-to-Kana keyboard, he realized, not English. His brow furrowed, but when he clicked the globe button again, everything finally switched to actual English.
[This is Viktor. We just got the news. Yuri needed a moment.]
Yuuko was quick to answer, and Viktor saw the jumping dots on her side of the screen as she typed.
[What news? Did the JSF already tell him he's been picked to go to PyeongChang?]
[...No. Did they?]
[I don't know! ŎuŎ;;]
[What did you find out? Is Yuri upset or happy?]
Viktor gaped at the screen quietly, one brow quirked, but then half-shrugged to himself and thumbed his answer.
[The RSF basically fired me. I can't compete for the rest of the season and they expect I'll retire after that.]
[何]
[Sorry...what?]
[They're mad that I gave up my medal and sanctioned me as punishment. We only just found out when our phones reconnected and we got off the plane.]
[If you didn't know already then I guess the RSF hasn't made it public knowledge yet. Maybe they were waiting to post an announcement until after I was told.]
[Yeah, that would be kind of mean of them to make you find out about it on social media instead of a direct phone-call.]
[Well, take your time I guess. It's just me here today. Everyone else is waiting for you guys at YuTopia.]
Viktor eyeballed the screen for a few moments, but then shut the phone off and slid it back across the table. He pulled out his own after that, opening a new text window with Yuuko and replying from there, [I'm trying to figure out how to get Yuri's chin up so we can get to the trains. If he does this walk looking like he does now...]
[Yeah. I can imagine he's taking this pretty hard. You gave up your gold so he could have it, so he probably thinks this is his fault.]
The Russian sighed, brows furrowed, [I made a point to explain to Yuri that it was my decision alone, and that I didn't want him feeling responsible for what I did. So far, he hasn't said anything about the podium. He's blaming himself for other things. That the RSF would've never had reason to fire me if he hadn't asked me to come back to competition in the first place.]
[...Sounds like him. You don't sound all that bothered though.]
[I'm trying to be pragmatic about things. For his sake, I have to consider the way this works to our advantage.] Viktor explained, looking up over the top of his phone towards his despondent spouse. Not knowing what to say to make Yuri feel better, Viktor instead moved his chair around the circular table until he was right up against the man, and leaned forward against the table just like he was, pressing the side of himself against his partner, from elbow to leg. It took a moment, but Yuri eventually lifted up from the table, and wrapped his arms around Viktor's trunk, hiding his face against the man's back instead of within his folded arms like before. It was progress, even if it was still a full-blown melancholy. Viktor went back to his phone, [After the drama of Yuri's accident settled down, we spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to deal with the hectic time-table coming up. Splitting up for Nationals was a big worry. The Olympics were going to be worse, because we'd be TOGETHER but we couldn't BE together, if that makes sense.]
[Sure it does.]
[If you're not competing, then you don't have conflicting schedules anymore.]
Viktor could see that more was being typed, but he had to abandon the sight of his screen as he noticed his partner moving again. Feeling the man trying to wedge his head under his arm, Viktor sat upright, and watched as Yuri settled in the space he himself once occupied. Realizing the rationale behind the move, the Russian leaned over his husband's shoulders and back instead, threading his right arm through the crook of Yuri's shoulder and neck, and out under the opposite arm, his left going around Yuri's back. He felt his husband move again then, folding his arms around the one pressed to his shoulder, practically hugging it as he lowered his face again to hide his pain. Viktor waited a moment, letting Yuri settle in before he lowered his chin to the back of the man's jacket, and checked his phone again.
[I was thinking about that while you guys were gone. I don't know that you'd be able to be each others' coaches for the Olympics since you compete for different countries. You would've also been told to house with your teams. For a while, you'd almost have to pretend you don't even know each other.]
[Yeah.]
[It's still a pretty big insult to you though. You've been the reigning champion in Russia and abroad for years. You'd think the RSF would be a bit more grateful.]
[I'm trying not to let them spoil things. I'm no good to Yuri if I'm upset, too.]
There was a brief pause in the chatter. Viktor could see that his last message had been seen, but there was no reply immediately forthcoming. He clicked the phone off and moved instead to squeeze his arms around his partner a little tighter, feeling the twitching of a few ragged breaths, as though Yuri had been sobbing violently for hours. He drew in closer, nosing the back of his husband's head, kissing through raven black hair before opting to hold still there for a little while.
Yuuko had managed to pull herself out of the crowd lining the hall just beyond the luggage carousel area. Airport staff had cordoned off the area to prevent other passengers from being bothered by the landing of a few local celebrities. She could see through the last barricade towards where the pair would eventually come through, but couldn't see them just yet. A few JSF officials were standing nearby as well. In the opposite direction, a small delegation of local politicians had gathered as well, including the entourage of Saga Prefecture's Governor, surrounding the man himself. Worried that the bad news would cause problems for appearances, Yuuko approached the officials who were blocking the way through the terminal.
"Moushiwake arimasen..." She started, bowing to the three who were there, [Yuri and Viktor are still in the arrivals terminal. Something has happened and I'm trying to get to them.]
[If we let you through then we have to let everyone through.] One of the officials answered, extending an arm as a gesture that she couldn't go by.
Yuuko frowned nervously, but bowed her head again, [I understand, I am sorry... I've been talking to Viktor though.] She spoke a little more quietly then, [Viktor just found out he was sanctioned by Russia and isn't being allowed to compete for the rest of the year, and Yuri is really upset about it. They're trying to figure out what to do so they can come through here and go home without making everyone worry.] She held out her phone, displaying a group photo with her family and the two skaters, as though in evidence that she knew them, [I've been friends with Yuri since we were kids, and I work at the skating rink he and Viktor practice at in Hasetsu. Please let me through.]
Anxious expressions answered her, then went to one another. A few whispers were exchanged, but then Yuuko suddenly found herself being let through. Her eyes went wide, but she quickly darted forward, flipping back around on her heel for a deep bow, "Arigatou gozaimasu!" Rising back to her full height, she rushed for the luggage carousel, grabbing one of the trolleys and hoisting their three suitcases onto it before moving off to the side and out of the way. She pulled out her phone again and started typing, [Viktor...bring Yuri to luggage collection. Staff let me through so I got your stuff. We need to get Yuri's head in the game so we can get out of the airport without making a scene.]
The Russian felt the buzz in his hand, and lifted his head to see a preview of the text as it appeared on his lock-screen. Drawing a breath, he nodded to himself and lifted up off his husband's shoulder, speaking quietly to one ear, "Yuri, we should go. People are going to think we're rude if we keep them all waiting much longer."
Reluctantly, and waiting a moment longer before moving, Yuri eventually pushed up to sitting as well. His glasses were mottled with tears, the wet and the dried, making the lenses foggy and difficult to see through. Viktor pulled them off before he could, and started rubbing the glass with his scarf.
"Yuuko is waiting with our stuff. Staff let her through to help us out. We should go to her." Viktor explained, "Are you going to be okay for this?"
He snuffled, but Yuri gave a weak nod, lifting his eyes a little as he felt the glasses being placed back over his nose and ears. His throat was sore and his eyes were red, but there was little he could do about it. Viktor grabbed for the small cup of hot chocolate and slid it gently towards the edge of the table, offering its comfort where his own had apparently failed.
"I know this whole thing with the RSF is upsetting for you, my love," He started, "But it's really not as bad as all that. There's good that will come from it as well. Put it at the back of your mind for now and let's go home. ...No one else even knows this happened."
"...N-No one?" Yuri echoed, hiccups in his voice, "But...how? A-all the messages I got... N-none of them...are about this?"
"Yuuko says there hasn't been any announcement about it yet. So far as the world knows, right now, nothing has happened." Viktor explained, "The messages are probably just from people congratulating you on your Gold, or well wishes for Nationals. I get those calls all the time. My phone is loaded right now. We probably have thousands of messages on Instagram right now, too, and many more waiting to be posted once fans see us coming through the terminal." He offered what smile he could, trying to be reassuring and positive, "You're Japan's hero, Yuri. A hero's welcome is waiting for you. Please don't be sad or angry on my account, especially since I'm not."
Yuri lowered his head, but nodded anyway. He felt the hug before he saw it, and clung tightly to the dark wool of his husband's coat, burying his face in the scarf wrapped over his shoulders. They held there for a moment, but eventually , knowing they had to leave, let go and slowly stood up.
Viktor wove his fingers through his husband's free hand, "The cocoa will soothe your throat, and we'll take our time. We'll figure out a way to help you through the crowd so you don't need to interact with people unless you have to. Just the officials and the other suits. Then we'll have time to think about how to move forward. Hopefully we'll be in the onsen long before the rest of the world hears about what happened." He leaned down and kissed a cheek, "Okay?"
Lifting his free hand, Yuri rubbed his wrist against his eyes again, careful not to spill his drink or lose his glasses in the process. He drew a deep breath, feeling the sting in his chest, but then nodded sullenly, "Okay."