CHAPTER THREE HUNDRED THIRTY EIGHT
Making the walk back to the restaurant was a slightly harrowing experience, but one small fortune was finding Minako at the front counter as she was walking out. She paused in her footsteps as she spotted the two skaters coming her way, though with Yuri being carried, he kept his eyes down, brow pressed against the back of Viktor's neck and right shoulder.
"...Oh!" She gasped at the sight of them, "...Uhm... I...paid for the thing, like you asked..."
Viktor nodded tiredly, and nudged his head back towards his partner, "Can you put my wallet back into my jacket? I'm going to take Yuri back to the room."
The ballerina gave an uneasy nod, but stepped forward, fishing for a pocket on the outside of the over-large blazer sitting on the younger skater's frame. She caught sight of his barely-open eyes, staring straight into the fabric just under his eyelashes, but moved on to put the wallet away as told. She gave the clearly-troubled figure a gentle pat on his back before stepping back to give them room. Watching Viktor turn to go back the way they came, Minako followed from a short distance, heading to the elevators with them.
Nothing else was said until the ding was heard and the doors to the small chamber closed behind them, leaving them alone for a moment as the elevator started its descent.
"Sorry to leave you like that." Viktor commented quietly.
"...It's okay. I understand." She answered anxiously, leaning her back against a wall behind herself. She moved one hand up to pull the straps of her purse a little higher onto her shoulder.
When the elevator dinged a second time, it was on the 22nd floor, and the doors slid open to let the skaters off. Viktor turned his head again, about to bid his farewells and more apologies, but he felt a movement from his back, and then spotted the confused look on Minako's face. Yuri had reached to take her jacket at the shoulder, pinching it between his finger, and didn't seem keen to let it go.
What does he mean by this...? Viktor wondered, turning his eyes back to his husband, but unable to see much more than the gelled-down black hair where Yuri still had his head down. The elevator doors tried to close then, tapping against the outside of the Russian's shoe before halting and opening back up again. Slate eyes moved from Yuri to Minako again, Maybe this is Yuri's subtle way of saying he's not ready to talk about us yet... He turned his face forward and stepped out of the small room, pulling Minako with them as a result, "I guess he wants you to come with us for now."
Fingers held to the woman's coat until they were all out and away from those sliding doors, and Minako tepidly followed them back to their room. In that regard, it made getting back inside easier, since she was able to fish Viktor's wallet out again and grabbed the keycard. She pushed the door in and stepped aside, making room for the silver legend to walk within carrying his charge. The door closed with a click behind them, and Minako watched in continued confusion as Viktor sat back against the edge of the bed, letting Yuri go there to sit on his own.
He knelt before his exhausted spouse, reaching up with both hands to cradle Yuri's face, whispering a few words to him. Yuri reached up with just his right hand, curling his fingers around Viktor's wrist, nodding in response to the question before lowering his face and closing his eyes. Viktor stood up again then, sliding his hands down to his partner's shoulders as he moved, and turned to look at Minako, "Make yourself comfortable. Apparently he wants you for something. Just give me a second to make a phone call."
"O-Oh..." She answered, feeling like she must've uttered that same sound half a dozen times in just the last few minutes alone. She nodded though and looked around hurriedly, finding the couch and singleton seat against the wall opposite the end of the bed, and moved towards them, setting her purse down on the circle-top table next to the pair of skate bags. Watching in perplexed silence, her eyes went from Yuri, who kept his head down, to Viktor, who was looking through the leather-bound room-service menu as he pulled it up from its place on the night-stand next to the phone. A flutter was growing in her stomach.
Viktor sat on the end of the bed next to his partner, leafing through the thin tome and running a finger across the pages. As Yuri nodded at a few whispers, the silver Russian went back to the phone and held it up against his ear, dialing the meager three numbers down to the concierge desk before pinching the receiver against his shoulder, "Yes, hi, I'd like to place a room-service order. Sure. ...Yes, all items will be à la carte. One tamago-kake-gohan, one miso soup, one hot green tea...oh, no, just plain white rice. Then I'll also need a bowl of cinnamon grits...you don't? Oatmeal's fine. With raisins. Heavy cream on the side, and a French coffee press, with sugar and cream. ...That's it. ...I'm aware. No, please put it separately on the room tab; I'll pay for it myself when we check out on Sunday night. Thanks. 30 minutes is fine; we're in for the night."
With the phone put down, and the menu folded and returned to its place on the night-stand, Viktor stood up and unbuttoned his vest, shrugging it off his shoulders to set it against one edge of the bed beside where he'd sat a moment before. His tie came after, and a few buttons of his shirt were undone after that. He glanced casually over towards Minako again as he raised his wrists to undo the buttons on the cuffs, and rolled the sleeves up to just above his elbows. A few moments later, he took his place a small ways behind his husband, placed a hand gently on the man's back and whispered something to him again. Yuri turned his head to hear, nodded lightly, and scooted backward, until he was sitting between his spouse's parted legs, and had his back flush against the Russian's chest. Arms went around the borrowed blazer, under Yuri's arms, and those opened legs curled under Yuri's own, crossing ankles just under his raised knees.
Viktor hugged him close for a moment, then lifted his head again to rest his chin against the back of one shoulder, "So what did you want Minako to stay for?"
Yuri tried to clear his throat, though it still felt raw from his earlier outburst. Tired eyes looked up from the crests of his knees, and then straight at the ballerina, "...I...wasn't entirely asleep on the train." He managed, though his voice was still somewhat hoarse. His words made both Minako and Viktor nervous, "I overheard what...Viktor was asking you about. I'm sure he...he thought it too, but...you were acting weird at YuTopia...long before we arrived, according to my mom."
Wow, he must really not want to talk about earlier if he wants to open this can of worms right now... Viktor thought, though he dared not interrupt.
Minako just gaped at him, "I...wasn't aware that I..."
"She said...that you were impatient...checking the time every few minutes like...like you thought hours should've passed in the same span." Yuri went on, "Why?"
"Well I was excited to get the show on the road, I mean, I haven't been to Osaka in years. I was looking forward to the tri-"
"Please don't lie to me." Yuri cut her off, drawing a pained breath, sinking a little where he sat, as though he was just too exhausted to deal with anything more, "I can tell that you...haven't told my mom about what you told Viktor at the Final."
Minako gave a rather serious stare then, and found her focus, sitting a bit straighter, "I can't."
"I was...going to ask you at dinner..." The younger man explained, blinking slowly as he spoke, "Before I got side-tracked."
"What was that all about anyw-"
"Have you thought about it since we got back from Detroit?" Yuri refused to let her derail his train of thought, "I saw that you were drinking...a few times at YuTopia..."
That just got an angry look from the woman, who reached for her purse again and rose to stand, "I'm not going to have someone half my age and not my same gender judge me over what I do with myself."
"Wait-" He followed, holding one hand up towards her, "I didn't mean that in a bad way... I'm not trying to scold you."
"What then?" She shot back, turning harshly, though staying put.
"I was planning...to ask you tonight anyway. Even if Viktor hadn't been here." He explained, watching carefully as Minako waited for a reason to leave, "I don't want...you to feel like you're being attacked. I just want to...know if there's anything I...we can do...to help..."
Viktor side-eyed the man from his vantage over a shoulder, but made no effort to stop the process. The can of worms was open now. Nothing could put them back.
27 minutes...
The anxious ballerina shot daggers at her questioner for half a heartbeat, but then loosened her vice-grip on the edge of her purse, and lowered her gaze, "...I tried to put it out of my mind." She admitted, "I didn't want to think about it."
"Avoiding it won't...make it go away." Yuri said simply, "You were...always there for me when I was younger. I want you to think that I can be here for you now, too. I may be younger, and I'll never be able to experience what you are...but I've always been on your team, haven't I? I am in this, too."
"You sure didn't seem like it before." Minako answered, staring indignantly at the floor.
That just made his heart hurt all over again, "...Minako-sensei..." He hesitated to speak again for a moment, but when Minako retook her seat, his anxiety calmed a little.
"When you whispered in my ear to never ask Viktor to keep secrets for me again," She elaborated, "I know what the words mean, but it still felt like you put up a wall between us."
"It's...a thing between him and I." Yuri explained, "At least at the Final...it wasn't a time for him to have to deal with more stress than he already had. What you said was kind of a big thing."
"I know. That's why I didn't want anyone else to know." Minako answered bitterly, "I told him only because he has a longer history with Mikhail than the rest of us. I thought maybe he'd understand how scared I was to have this problem...but he reacted completely different than I anticipated." She shot her head up and gestured towards him, "He tried to break Mikhail in half over it, for Christ's sake. Who does that!?"
"I'm literally sitting right here." Viktor grumbled, "You're talking like you think I somehow can't hear you."
"...Sorry..." Minako muttered under her breath, sinking a little where she sat.
"Someone who has a long and conflicted history with him." Yuri went on, trying to snuggle in a bit deeper, pulling his hands inside the long sleeves of Viktor's blazer, "That's a different conversation though...one I'm not sure he's ready to have with everyone else just yet. Suffice it to say tho-"
"...I nearly knocked him out because I was furious that he'd have the gall to knock one of my friends up." Viktor explained for himself, "He's been out of my life for most of my life. I just started to trust him after Trophée de France, and then he goes and does this, like all is forgiven."
Minako just leered at the man, "All my life I've heard people blame women for getting pregnant. I think you're the first to blame the man."
"Takes two." Viktor huffed, looking away in irritation.
"It was my fault." Minako explained, "Both times we messed around, it was me who started it. I thought I was long past the point of needing to care about protection, and I guess he was long past the point of thinking he'd ever be with anyone again, so neither of us bothered. Then I got sick one morning and he completely flipped out about it, asking me to marry him on the bathroom floor after I thought I was going to puke. It was absolutely the least romantic thing I've ever experienced in my life. If it hadn't actually happened to me, I'd think it was some sad, pathetic joke." She growled, reaching up to clasp her hand around the ring hanging at the base of a necklace, "He'd already been joking for a while about me marrying him, but it was always a joke up to then. Suddenly he's taking everything so seriously and it isn't fun anymore. Now I'm just scared. And this morning I-..." She lowered her face then, cupping her up-lifted hand against her eyes, "...I told myself I should stop running from this...and got a test to check..." Her hand went out in an exaggerated gesture again, and held up the ring and small fingers, "I got two tests." She corrected, "One of them came back positive, the other seemed broken. Now I'm just completely confused and I hate everything."
"...So that's why you were antsy." Yuri realized.
"No kidding." She whined, pulling both hands up to her face then, burying them against her palms as her elbows perched on the tips of her knees, "I don't want this."
Viktor finally looked back again, pivoting his chin on the shoulder he'd rested it on, and saw the anguished state his friend was in. He suddenly felt rather guilty, "...You...don't?"
"Of course not! Why would I!? But if I terminate, everyone will hate me! If I don't though, I'll just hate myself!" She barked, looking up from her hands briefly before going back to them, "I spent my whole life childless for a reason! It was always so much easier to deal with kids when someone else took them home at the end of the day! I got to go home on my own, where it was quiet, and I could watch crap television until I passed out with a pint if I wanted!" Tears started forming in her eyes, though she tried her best to keep them there, "I could go out whenever I wanted, and sleep late if I had nowhere to be! I had no one to answer to but myself and no one counting on me at home to disappoint!"
Though Viktor had started his cuddle-pile to give Yuri comfort, it was now him wanting it, and he drew a little closer, crossing his legs a little tighter to bring the man in a bit further, "...I thought my Uncle might've done this to you on purpose. As a way of anchoring himself into my life, in a way that I couldn't undo if I wanted. I thought he was using you to get to me." He explained against the grey fabric of his blazer, "But further down...deep down...all I heard was Mari..."
"Mari?" Minako echoed in disbelief. Yuri was just as surprised, but said nothing.
"What she said at Worlds. About how you better jump on him because he was a vintage version of me." Viktor continued nervously, "I don't want to go into a whole lot of detail...but suffice it to say, I've met a lot of people in my life who only cared about me because of my status as a skater. After a while, I learned to keep those kinds of people out of my life...at arm's length. I didn't want people worming their way into me because I'm famous...because I knew they'd leave me as soon as I wasn't anymore. My Uncle was the first person in my family to turn up at events...and he got a lot of attention when people started noticing him. How many non-skaters get interviewed by sports media? None. Except the ones related to Viktor Nikiforov." He shook his head as he said his own name, as though mocking someone else's utterance of it. He grumbled and sighed, lowering his brow against Yuri's shoulder, "I resented the attention he got. I was worried he would try to make a name for himself as 'Viktor's Uncle' rather than do the right thing and bow out. I warned him not to get too deeply involved into things. He was on his best behavior for months. Then I started calling him by the name I used to use on him when I was a kid, and started to like having him around...then that happened...and I just busted a fuse over it. He did exactly what I was worried he would do, and I was furious."
"That's an understatement." Minako huffed, "I wish I knew. I wouldn't have told you." She sighed and leaned back in her seat, "I can assure you that he wanted nothing to do with all the stuff I did to him. I dragged him into this mess. He was just trying to pick up the pieces and do the right thing."
Viktor nodded where he was, but didn't look up. He just felt a gentle pat on his head where Yuri had moved his hand.
"I'm sure he was worried about what you'd think." The ballerina went on, "That's probably the biggest reason why he was so reluctant with me. All the time we spent together, and he never really let me get too close. He was always really guarded. He said once that it was because he didn't want to be hurt again...and I believe that...but I think he just avoided mentioning what you had said because he knew we're friends."
"Maybe." Viktor sighed, lifting his head again finally, only to lean away and drop down to his back, leaving Yuri to half-sit against him where he couldn't follow. Those slate eyes stared at the spackled texture of the ceiling, "...The way you put it when you told me at the outdoor rink...I took it like you were bragging about it."
"That's not even close to what I me-"
"I know. Just listen." He said, cutting her off. He raised one arm and folded it over his eyes like a mask, "Yuri has been trying to get me to be more honest about how I feel, and I'm really trying. Some of the things I feel are bound to sound ridiculous to anyone outside my head though...so...just listen, so I can get it out."
Yuri turned his head a little, looking back over one shoulder as he leaned his back against the side of the man's thigh.
"...When we were in France, and Sophia ran into us...she dropped this subtle bomb on both Yuri and I, that she had a young daughter. It was as though she was trying to use the kid as a weapon, like the idea of me finding out I had a kid out there would make me be responsible...to man up and be a father...to kick Yuri to the curb, and get back with her for the sake of that child." Viktor explained, keeping his arm over his eyes, "For a nanosecond, I hated her for saying those words...but then I realized, she said the kid was 6...and we hadn't been together in 8 years...so there was no chance she was mine. Still, the idea that someone would use my bloodline against me like that really angered me. I just kept it to myself because it turned out to be nothing." He pulled his arm off his eyes, settling it above his head, brushing his bangs out of his eyes as he moved, "Then when you told me in Detroit that you might be pregnant with my Uncle's kid...I had that same flash of anger...but this time, it was real. It was lasting. The only thing I thought I could do was punish the person who attacked me like this...and that was Mikhail. Using his family ties to me, our bloodline, to forcibly bind us all together in a way I could never undo or change. Over time, that resentment for him has kind of...spread out, into a general sense of annoyance for me. It merged with what Mari said at Worlds...and I started to think you might...do this to me, too, because of the bloodline."
Minako was giving him an incredulous, almost offended stare, but so long as those crystal eyes were staring up, she knew Viktor wouldn't see her anger.
"Between the girlfriends I've had who only cared about me because of my fame...and the random women who would joke about their ovaries exploding at the sight of me, or that they wanted to carry my child, or any number of lady-related pseudo-compliments that...I suppose...wouldn't really bother most people...after hearing them for so long and so often, I started to get really annoyed by them. If I wasn't a famous skater, they wouldn't be saying those things. So..." Viktor turned his head against the blanket, and looked as well towards the ballerina as he could, past the edge of his left knee, "...Even though I knew in my heart you would never think about it that way...I couldn't stop the words from rattling in my head. 'She's only doing this because Mikhail's my Uncle. If he or I were anyone else, she'd never have bothered.'"
"Well, let me say that if you weren't Viktor Nikiforov, I'd have slapped you straight in the mouth for thinking that." She argued.
"...Hmph...I suppose I could count that as the one time my name and fame did me a favor." He went back to looking at the ceiling, "Thank you, for not being as shallow as everyone else."
Yuri looked back at her as Viktor finished, "...How many tests did you buy?"
"Nearly all of them." She answered, throwing herself back against the seat, "So...probably 10?"
It crossed Yuri's mind to ask why, but it didn't seem so important as the seconds wore on, "And you did two this morning."
"Yeah." She said in a monotone, entirely unimpressed with her situation, "The first was the one that came back positive. The second didn't give me anything, so I just threw them both away and stormed off to YuTopia in a rage about how it seemed like the universe was taunting me. I walked the whole way, hoping to calm down before I got there."
"And the rest?"
She hesitated a moment, but then held her purse out in front of her with both hands...and dropped it to the floor before crossing her arms again, "There."
Yuri looked at the bag on the floor, then to Viktor, who just looked back at him briefly before pushing up onto an elbow. He drew in a breath, and leaned over the edge of the bed, pulling up the bag to his lap. Since she'd offered it, in her own way, Yuri opened it up and reached within, finding 6 more single-strip test kits. He hummed a quiet sigh to himself, and rose up to his feet, offering his free hand to the woman, "Come on."
She gaped at him, then at his hand, and turned her head to give an exceptionally skeptical look, "What are you doing?"
"You'll do all the rest of these, since you have them anyway." He explained, "Majority rules. If they're all inconsistent, or there isn't a real majority, then maybe it's too early to know. So...come on."
It took a moment to process the words, but Minako raised both hands up in surrender, and accepted the one to help her to her feet. She followed Yuri to the bathroom nervously, and watched him unbox the six test kits, setting them all out in a line on the vanity next to the sink. He read the instructions on one, and reached for a glass cup that was wrapped in paper. He pulled off the hotel logo from the cup and turned it right-side up, then handed it to the woman, "Use this to get your sample...then dip each test strip in it, and come out. Don't wait for them to change. I'll come back and look so you don't have to. You trust me, right?"
"More than these things." She answered, taking the cup.
"Flush what you don't need, rinse, and put the cup on the floor. We'll get housekeeping to take it away tomorrow." Yuri explained, leaving the small room and pulling the door closed behind him.
For a moment, Minako just stared at the cups, then at the test strips on the counter to her right. She swallowed nervously.
...No wonder Viktor says Yuri's in charge now...
Mentally drained, but knowing there was still more to come, Yuri went back the way he'd come. He shrugged out of the over-large coat and hung it up in the closet as he passed, then moved to the corner where the short front hall and bed-area met. He spotted Viktor, lifting his head at his return, and moved towards him, crawling up onto the edge of the bed and shuffling forward until he could drop down on top of the man. He threw one arm over the Russian's chest as he rested his head against one shoulder, but stayed quiet there.
Viktor pulled his free right arm up and folded it in to find his partner's elbow, cupping his palm over it lightly as he twisted around to kiss the man's head, "...I wasn't expecting this."
"...Sorry..."
"Did you really plan to have this talk with her this way?"
Yuri nodded. For a moment, he just held still where he was, but after a few quiet breaths, he lifted up, and propped himself up against one elbow, looking directly at his husband's face for the first time since they'd come back to the room, "This was bad timing." He explained quietly, his voice still a bit hoarse from earlier. He pulled the arm he'd draped over Viktor's chest in closer to himself, and flattened his palm out over the man's heart, "I'm not trying to avoid our talk."
He had so many more things to say or ask, but Viktor knew that Minako would walk out at any second, so he avoided it for the moment. Instead, he just moved one hand to settle over the one feeling for his heartbeat, and set the other to pat gently behind his spouse's head, and nodded quietly. To his great relief, Yuri moved in closer and kissed him, assuaging his fears, at least for a little while. They heard the door seconds after that, and Yuri pulled away again, giving one last solemn look before he lifted off again to leave the bed.
Viktor watched as the two exchanged quiet glances, and Yuri moved out of sight, rounding the corner to the bathroom as Minako retook her seat. She pulled her knees up, hooking her ankles on the front of the chair, wrapping her arms around her legs and holding tightly as she worried and waited.
Two minutes felt like an eternity, but eventually, Yuri came back out again. He sat on the foot of the bed directly in front of the woman, his face giving no indication as to what he saw. He just looked on with those gentle cherry-hazel eyes, "...No matter what the results are," He started, "No matter what you decide to do with them...we support you."
"If it's positive, and I decide to get rid of it?" She asked pointedly.
"We support you." Yuri said immediately, "If that's your choice, then as far as the rest of the world is concerned, your morning sickness in Canada was just an upset stomach and this whole thing was just a false alarm."
"...And if I keep it?" She asked instead.
"We support you." He said again, turning his head slightly as he felt his partner shuffling forward on the bed to take his place beside him, one arm snaking around his back, "They say it takes a village. We are the village. You, and me, and Viktor...Mikhail, his girls, even Yurio now. My mom, my dad...I'm sure my sister would want to be part of things, too. Whatever you decide, you are not alone."
Minako drew a nervous breath, and unclamped her arms from where they'd clenched around her knees. She lowered her feet to the floor, and gave a vocal exhale, "...Okay... I'm ready."
Yuri gave a momentary glance to his husband, feeling a hand rub against his back for reassurance, and turned back to the woman waiting in front of him. He nodded and drew a breath as well, "It's positive."
The words rang out like the horn of a fast-moving train, blaring right in their ears and passing by like a banshee's scream, eventually fading to nothing in the distance. For a while, Minako didn't react. Yuri lowered down by leaning forward, trying to see her face, but she hid it well behind her hair. Just as he reached his hand to set it on her knee, he felt a tear fall against his skin.
"...Minako-sensei..."
"...I...was so sure I knew what I wanted to do..." She said, her voice cracking as she spoke, "But now I feel like I don't know anything."
"You don't have to decide anything right now." Yuri explained, "If this started over NHK weekend, then it's only been 3 weeks."
"...How can I even think to make this choice without telling Mikhail first...?" She asked, lifting her head even as tears rolled down her cheeks, "He knew before everyone..."
"You can tell him," Viktor said, finally speaking up, "But it's not his choice. His last chance to have an opinion on this ended when he agreed to sleep with you. He went into this as an informed party."
Minako just rose up from her seat, snuffling back her tears as she rubbed a few away that had escaped her willpower. She gathered up her purse again and made for the door, "I need air..."
"Wait, Minako-sensei..." Yuri rose to give chase, and Viktor after him. Without a second thought, everyone had shoes and coats on again, and Yuri stepped out into the hall, "I don't want you to go alone. We'll walk back with you."
She couldn't think of what to say, so Minako just nodded, sniffing another breath as she turned her eyes down.
The door clicked behind Viktor, but just then, he made a weird sound, "Damnit...the room-service people are going to be here any minute...I completely forgot already..."
"Just stay." The ballerina said simply, "...I'll be fine. My hotel's 5 minutes from here."
"Are you sure? This isn't exactly news to be alone with." Yuri worried, "Do you want to stay with us for a little while?"
"...No...I want to go..." She shook her head, then looked back and reached one hand up to squeeze her former student's shoulder, "I appreciate all this... Thank you for listening to me... I want to be alone now. Maybe I'll call Mikhail later."
He didn't like it, but Yuri nodded, "...Okay... Text me when you get back so we know you got there safely."
"I will." She agreed, then twisted on a heel to start making her way down the hall. She walked at a swift pace, and was out of sight rather quickly.
"...She's the complete opposite of you." Viktor commented idly, "Maybe that's why I thought you were interested in her before."
Yuri shot him a look as the door opened again, "She's older than my mom. And you're the complete opposite of me, too."
The Russian just pushed the door open, and moved to step through, "...I suppose." He reached his free arm up and offered his hand to his partner, "Come on back inside. The last time you got as upset as you were earlier, you got yourself sick by sitting in the snow too long. I'm still your coach, so I can't risk it."
Yuri nodded and took a reluctant step forward, taking the hand with his own. He paused just outside the door though and looked back down the hall for a moment. He huffed a nervous breath, and quietly said a prayer for his friend.