Klink was dumbfounded. "What do you mean he's dead?" he demanded.
"Just that," Hogan replied as he dropped Weiss' hand, letting it flop limply to the ground. "He's dead; Kaput; Finito; Cashed in his chips; Pushing up daisies; Bit the dust; Sleeping with the fishes; pick a euphemism, he's it."
Klink gaped, his mouth hanging open as Hogan's words sunk in. "But- but- but he can't be dead!" he finally cried. "How?"
Hogan stood up and scratched the back of his neck. "Heart attack, I think."
"A heart attack?" Klink repeated. "But he was so healthy! So strong! That's not possible!"
Hogan shrugged. "I don't know what else it could be," he confessed. "Maybe his heart just burst with his love of the Fuhrer."
The last remark snapped Klink out of his shock and he stomped his foot. "Hogan!"
"Sorry, sir, bad taste."
Klink narrowed his eyes and snorted. "Schultz, confine all prisoners to the barracks!"
Schultz awkwardly rose to his feet and nodded vigorously. "Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. But what about Corporal Weiss? What are we going to do with him?"
"Get a detail and have them carry him to… to…" This had never happened before. Just what did they do with a dead guard? If Hogan didn't know, Klink certainly didn't. "Take him into the rec hall. Now, get all the prisoners inside!"
Schultz nodded again and saluted Klink. "Jawohl! Everyone back in the barracks! Back, back, back." Schultz shooed Newkirk and LeBeau along. Hogan reached down and helped Carter to his feet. The sergeant grunted and shifted his weight off one leg, leaning against his commanding officer.
"You okay, Carter?" Hogan asked.
"Yeah," Carter replied, though he hissed in pain. "I don't think he broke it, but it sure does hurt."
"We'll take a look at it when we get back to the barracks," Hogan said.
"Oh no," Klink said. "You two are coming to my office. Now! Langenscheidt!" At Klink's shout, Corporal Langenscheidt scurried over. "Escort Colonel Hogan and Sergeant Carter to my office immediately!" And with that, Klink turned on his heel and marched off, one arm tucked behind his back.
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Langenscheidt said with a quick salute. "This way," he ordered, anxiously ushering Hogan and Carter along after Klink.
Hogan slung Carter's arm over his shoulder, taking some of the weight off his leg. "What the hell happened, Carter?" he asked as they slowly walked after Klink.
"Colonel, Weiss was going to- I mean all I did- I… I was just returning something to Goldman, and when Weiss saw me leave the barracks, he said he was going to teach them a lesson. And, well, I just knew he was going to do something awful, so I guess- I had to stop him," Carter explained in a hurry.
"So you threw a rock at him?"
"I knew that wouldn't stop him, but I thought… well, I guess I wasn't thinking, sir."
Hogan sighed and shook his head. "I don't know whether to give you a medal, or take your stripes. On the one hand, that was a damned stupid thing to do. On the other, you may have saved Goldman and the others. On the both hands Corporal Weiss is dead."
Carter winced. "Yeah, I guess that solves one problem, but…"
"But may just cause a whole lot more," Hogan groaned. Weiss wasn't an average flunky; there were going to be a lot of powerful and dangerous people who wouldn't be too happy about the situation.
"I'm sorry I messed it all up," Carter said miserably.
"We'll figure it out," Hogan assured him as they climbed up the steps to Klink's office. "Better him than one of us, anyway."
Klink was standing at his desk, hand pressed down on it, and glaring at the door when Hogan and Carter entered his office. Upon their arrival, his glare intensified and he shot an accusatory finger at them. "Hogan, I want to know what happened, and I want to know right now!" he demanded.
"I don't know what to tell you, Colonel," Hogan said with a little shrug.
His nonchalant attitude wasn't going to work this time. Klink smacked his desk. "Colonel Hogan, one of my guards is dead, and your men are to blame for it. I have every right to shoot every man involved in that fight right now. And I will if you do not tell me what happened." Before Hogan could answer, he turned his attention to Carter. "Sergeant Carter? Perhaps you would care to explain?"
"Well, I-" Carter looked at Hogan helplessly.
Hogan let out a long sigh. Not even he could tap dance his way around this. Klink was right, Weiss was dead. To make matters worse, Klink and the other guards had seen the fight take place beforehand. Possibly one of the guards had seen Carter throw the rock. There was no way to sweep this under the rug. No story he could invent to shift blame.
Well, extraordinary circumstances required extraordinary solutions. He'd try telling the truth for once.
"All right, here's what happened, Colonel," Hogan said. "Carter paid a visit to one of the barracks to return a personal item another prisoner left behind. For no good reason Weiss didn't like that and he decided he would take it out on the other prisoners. So, Carter decided to stop him-"
"By throwing a rock at him?" Klink cried.
"It was just a little one," Carter said. He squint his eyes a little as he illustrated the size of the rock with his thumb and finger.
"That does not make it better," Klink fumed.
"Look, it was dumb and stupid, but Weiss overreacted. If my men and I hadn't stepped in, Weiss would have killed Carter, and that's the truth of it."
"You are prisoners of war!" Klink cried. "Do you expect me to be happy that my guard is dead instead of one of you?!"
"Well, no sir," Carter said hastily, "but it wouldn't have been fair if something had happened to Goldman when I was the one who-"
"Goldman?" Klink interrupted.
Carter winced and Hogan shot him a look. He had purposefully left the other names out of it. The fewer men dragged into this situation the better.
"What about Goldman, Sergeant Carter?" Klink demanded.
"I was just returning something to him," Carter insisted. "I didn't even know Corporal Weiss had ordered them to stay inside. I guess he didn't want them to have any visitors either and, well sir, I just thought I should take the punishment and not them. After all-"
"Carter, stop talking," Hogan ordered. He was going to get them all shot.
Klink let out a sigh and dropped his head, giving it a shake. He muttered something under his breath that Hogan didn't quite catch. Then he smacked his desk in frustration. "Sergeant Carter, you will spend thirty days in solitary confinement."
Out of habit, Hogan began to protest. "Thirty days! Colonel Klink that's a-"
"Unless, of course, the Gestapo wants to shoot you," Klink interrupted darkly. Hogan winced. Carter paled, but stood a little taller, tightening his jaw, and for a moment Hogan had to admire him. Of course, it would never come down to Carter getting shot- Hogan would get him out of dodge before that happened. But he also knew that Carter was willing to stand by his actions whatever the consequences.
"I will have to inform them of what happened." Klink continued, before letting out a little whine. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I can see the Russian front now. Oh, how could this happen to me?" He threw his arms out and let them drop to his side. "Corporal Weiss was sent here especially by the Gestapo. By General Burkhalter. When I tell them what happened-"
"That Corporal Weiss had a heart attack?" Hogan interrupted.
"That he was attacked by prisoners and then had a heart attack!"
"I'd leave that first part out if I were you, sir," Hogan suggested. "I won't tell. You won't tell. I'm sure Schultz won't tell."
Klink narrowed his eyes and pegged Hogan with an accusatory finger. "Are you suggesting that I lie to the Gestapo?"
Hogan shrugged his shoulders and bobbed his head a little. "Mmmm, it's more like I'm suggesting that you withhold certain information." When Klink didn't answer right away, Hogan applied some pressure. "The Russian front is going to get awfully cold, awfully soon."
"But they will never believe that Weiss just had a heart attack without provocation," Klink said in a tone that invited Hogan to come up with some sort of solution for him.
"If I may sir, Corporal Weiss was a very big man, and his heart was probably under a lot of stress as it was for it to just give out like that. After all, the fight didn't even last that long, and we barely even touched him and-" Carter cut himself off before he could start to babble.
"It will never work," Klink lamented.
"You can give it the old college try," Hogan said.
"I do not appreciate your levity!" Klink snapped. "Schultz!" A moment later, Schultz lumbered into the office. "Schultz, take Colonel Hogan and Sergeant Carter to the cooler immediately."
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Schultz said with a salute. He clicked his tongue and jerked his thumb to the door. "All right, off to the cooler."
"Colonel, I-" Hogan started, but Klink cut him off.
"Take them away," Klink said with a wave of his hand.
Hogan grunted. Once he got into the tunnels, he and his men would have to come up with something fast if they wanted to divert a total disaster. There was no way Klink would stand up to the Gestapo. He shouldn't have used the truth gambit, but at the time there had been no other obvious solution.
"And Schultz," Klink said as they were halfway out the door. "Tell the prisoners in Barracks 20 to take off those ridiculous patches."
"Right away, Herr Kommandant. Right away."
"Patches?" Hogan asked when they were out in the compound.
"Yellow stars," Carter said.
"To mark them as Jews," Schultz explained in a low voice. "Corporal Weiss insisted. The Kommandant was not happy."
Hogan raised an eyebrow. He knew Klink hadn't been a fan of Weiss' gung-ho Nazi attitude, but he wondered if, maybe, despite all the complications, Klink was actually relieved that Weiss was dead.