Chapter One: Changing History
Ron Stoppable arrived in the past with a flash. He wished he'd knocked Drakkan out of the way of that portal a moment sooner.
The blonde looked around at a very nice, old-style city. Feeling a bit out of place in his jeans and red shirt, he looked around. Obviously, everyone here had weird outfits, but none of them paid him a second glance.
Making his way over to the gates, Ron saw a young man with a mustache over his face. He had a suitcase in one hand. "Oh hey, um, you wouldn't by any chance be able to tell me what year it is, Mr?"
"It is 1925, and you are standing outside the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna," said the man, looking miserable.
"Oh right, um... where is that?" asked Ron.
"It is inside Austria, or what is left of it since the war," said the man. "Where are you from?"
"Oh me, I'm from uh..." Ron looked around. No way was he going to blend here. "I think I'm from the future."
Instantly the man pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Ron's chest. Raising his hands, Ron backed away. ""Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
"What's with the Luger?"
The man frowned. "...You're not here to kill me?"
"No, of course not; why would I want to kill you?" asked Ron. "I mean, you're from the Academy of Fine Arts! Who'd want to kill an artist?"
"I'm not," said the man, lowering the pistol and sheathing it.
"An artist?" asked Ron.
"No, I'm not from the Academy of Fine Arts," said the man. "I used to dream of being part of it, however... well, they say I have no talent for painting people."
"I hear you," said Ron. "I hardly scraped through my graduation, and that's while picking my grades up. So... why the luger?"
"There's a conspiracy," said the man, beginning to walk. Ron went in step with him. "For some years now, I have been having to dodge a group of assassins from the future. They continually attempt to murder me to prevent me from achieving my destiny.
"Thanks to divine providence, however, I have survived every attempt.
"Duck."
"Duck?" asked Ron. "Why-"
Then he saw a man in a mask running toward him with a gun. Ron ducked, and the man pulled out his luger and pulled the trigger. There was a bang, and the man fell dead.
"That's why," said the man.
"Wow, that's uh... pretty hardcore, huh?" said Ron. What was going on here? He'd never read about any masked assassins in this period of history. That was more WW1.
"I survived the trenches of the Great War," said the man, a tone of pride in his voice. "I shall not be stopped from my destiny by mere scientists." He raised another pistol and pointed it at Albert Einstein. "Back off, Einstein, I'm not giving you my hand."
Einstein took the point and walked off.
What was that about?
"Wow, you've uh... you've got a lot of people trying to kill you, huh? What'd you do?" asked Ron.
"I don't know, I haven't done it yet," said the man. "Well, one of them cornered me with a pistol and started raving about Jews and saving them. So I suspect there is an international conspiracy headed by that ethnic group. One which I interfere with in some way. Given the geopolitical situation, I expect it involves France and Communism."
"Really?" asked Ron. "So uh, how long have you been dodging these assassination attempts?"
"As far as I can remember," said the man sadly. "There was a period where I tried to go into more humble pursuits. The idea was to prevent whatever it was I'd done from happening. But people kept sending assassins after me.
"Given the way they act, however, they don't seem like the sort of people I want to achieve their goals, though. So perhaps there is a good reason for my destiny.
"I always wanted to be an artist. I even deliberately did poorly in the schools my father sent me to in the hopes of doing it."
"Wait, you had to work to do poorly in school?" asked Ron, impressed. "It comes so naturally to me."
"So, who are you, exactly?" asked the man.
"Ron Stoppable, nice to meet you uh..." Ron realized he hadn't gotten his name.
"Adolf," said the man.
Ron remembered his histories. "Wow, um, bad luck on the name."
"As opposed to Stoppable?" asked Adolf in slight amusement.
"Yeah, my parents, with immigrants to the US, adopted a new name and everything," said Ron. "My Dad chose Ron as a pun. You know, Ron Stoppable, Unstoppable?"
"So, Mr. Stoppable, what exactly is it you do?" asked Adolf.
"Well, I'm sort of a sidekick," said Ron. "See, my friend, Kim Possible, and I sort of do superhero work."
"Superhero?" asked Adolf thoughtfully. "Do you mean the Nietzschean Superman?"
"Uh, well, not really," said Ron. "The Superman's all about sort of creating your own ideology and stuff. That's more the field of our nemesis, Dr. Drakkan, that and Shego. Although I guess they aren't very creative about it either.
"We mostly focus on just helping people and protecting them from bad guys. Let them work the rest out on their own."
"And what brings you here, Mr. Stoppable?" asked Adolf.
"Freak accident," said Ron. "See uh, Dr. Drakkan was plotting to go back in time to Germany before WW 2. I guess he wanted to use his super advanced technology to take control of the nation. Then he'd conquer the rest of the world with a technological edge."
"Interesting," said Adolf thoughtfully. "I presume these plans were... foiled."
"Well, yeah. I guess. I sort of shoved him out of the way before he could go through," said Ron. "Then I ended up going through the portal instead.
"I mean, I'd rather not think about what happens after this, but with the tech, Drakkan had it'd be worse. Way worse."
"What is coming?" guessed Adolf.
"Oh yeah, WW2, a real mess. Probably shouldn't go into the details, time travel," said Ron. "Might change the future. But it pretty much wrecks Europe, and then you've got the Cold War and the Berlin Wall.
"I've probably said too much."
"Well, if you are withholding secrets for your Fatherland, by all means, do so," said Adolf with a shrug. "Would you care for lunch?"
"Well, now that you mention it, I am pretty hungry," said Ron.
"Excellent," said Adolf. "There are still some cafes out here, despite France's best efforts."
"What'd they do?" asked Ron.
"Surely, you've read the history?" asked Adolf.
Ron shrugged. "I uh... well, I'm not an attentive student."
"Well, with the end of the Great War, they've forced an immense war debt on us," said Adolf. "The taxes have been raised to pay for it, and the government is printing money. It devalues our currency and makes it even more difficult to buy food."
"Geeze, tough break," said Ron as they came to the cafe. Sitting down, they were given menus, and Ron looked over them. Except he couldn't read a word of German or Austrian or whatever was on this menu. "Uh, what do you recommend? Choose for me."
"One moment," said Adolf, taking the menu. He ordered something from the waitress in a different language. "I've got you a good starter—my treat.
"So what is this friend, Kim... Possible?"
"Oh yeah, she set up this website with the words 'I can do anything on them.'" said Ron. "And then we got called in to disable these laser traps. Now we save the world regularly."
"So uh, Adolf, what's the deal with-"
Then a masked man appeared out of nowhere behind him. The man moved forward and put a gun to Adolf's head. Surging forward, Ron grabbed Adolf and pulled him down, moments before a shot rang out. It struck the cobblestones and ricocheted. The bullet hit a passerby in the leg, and they screamed in pain.
A moment later, Adolf shot the masked man dead with a perfect headshot. Then everyone went about their business as if nothing had happened. Apparently, time travelers were pretty common around here.
"Another one," muttered someone. "I swear we've got to build a time shield or something."
"Are you alright?" asked Adolf as a doctor ran forward to attend to the wounded person.
"Yes, just uh... kind of not used to getting shot at. Lasers easy. Bullets, not so much?" said Ron. "What's this conspiracy you're fighting."
"The Jewish Conspiracy that controls the world's financial systems," said Adolf.
Behind him, the injured person was being carried off to a hospital. Wait, that controlling the world's finances thing again?
"Eh, not really," said Ron. "It mostly happened naturally. See, Jews historically were culturally distinct wherever they lived. So the cultures we lived with tended to mistrust us. Meaning we were sort of a scapegoat for their hatred when bad stuff happened. Of course, since we were distrusted. We were also quick to cooperate with foreign invaders. And since we cooperated more easily, people distrusted us more, so we're more isolated, etc., etc."
Adolf looked at him strangely. "...You're a Jew?"
"Eh, yeah, probably not going be a good few decades for us in the coming days," said Ron. "Anyway, they got any time machines here?"
At that moment, a portal opened behind them, and Kim rushed out, wearing a gray uniform. On her hat were a skull and crossbones. "Ron!"
"Oh, hey, KP! How are things going!" said Ron, running to meet her. "Um, what's with the new outfit?"
"Ron, what are you doing?" said Kim. "You can't just go talking with random historical figures. You could alter the timeline."
"Oh, come on, I just ran into Adolf here by chance. It wasn't my fault! Honest!" said Ron.
Kim sighed. "Look, let's get out of here before you sabotage the Fuhrers glorious rise to power or something."
"Fine, uh, I gotta go, Adolf," said Ron, before looking to him and realizing he'd seen someone like him in a picture once. "Wait, Adolf?
"Holy..."
And then they warped out.
Oh crap, he'd saved Adolf Hiter. Well, um, the Hitler Time Travel exemption act indicated that was probably a good thing, right? Killing Hitler was generally regarded as a bad thing, right?
Ron and Kim came out of a portal into a huge metal room. There were a lot of other people waiting with weapons readied. Hang on, what was going on here? At their head was Kim's Mom in a particularly ornate outfit.
"Ron, Kim, you're back finally," said Ms. Possible, coming forward.
"Yeah, tell me about it," said Ron. "Hang on, what is this place, and why is everyone wearing these outfits?"
"Not now, Ron. Was the operation a success?" asked Kim.
"Yes, Kim, yes it was," said Ms. Possible. "Congratulations are in order. We've created the self-fulfilling prophecy that initiates the Fuhrer's rise to power."
"Hang on, what?" said Kim.
"Hang on, what?" said Ron.
"The Fuhrer, Ron. Adolf Hitler, the man who united the world and destroyed the Communist Menace," said Ms. Possible. "The first Emperor of Mankind."
"I uh..." What exactly had Ron done here?
"Wait, so, Ron set in motion the Fuhrers rise to power?" asked Kim.
"This is sealed data, Kim, kept top secret until now," said Ms. Possible. "When Hitler had just been rejected from the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna, he was at a critical stage in his life. Then he ran into Ron outside of it, and it caused him to completely rethink his life.
"Freed from hatred of minority groups, Adolf Hitler was able to conquer the world. Thus bringing about our glorious, National Socialist Paradise."
"How?!" asked Ron. "I mean... didn't the Americans and England stop them?"
"Don't be silly, Ron," said Ms. Possible. "The Fuhrer wasn't doing any kind of human rights violations and had completely won by that point. England had no serious ideological problem with the Nazi Party. So once they conquered Europe, they gave in. And with the united power of Europe, Hitler was able to launch a perfect blitzkrieg of Russia.
"Stalin had only finished purging his officers and was unpopular with his people. Adolf Hitler took on the role of liberator and set up a series of vassal Republics. Stalin's regime collapsed, and with the added momentum, Hitler conquered all of Russia.
"Once that was done, Hitler was able to consolidate his gains. Over the following decades, China, Japan, and finally, the US would fall.
"You should be very proud, Ron, you've brought about the triumph of the Nazi Party."
"HEIL HITLER!" said the assembled S.S agents.
Ron paused. "I uh...
"I think I need to use that time machine again, KP."
This was going to be a Stich in Time all over again, wasn't it?