CHAPTER THREE HUNDRED SIXTY TWO

The quiet whispers of heavy breaths sounded in tandem to the rustle of sheets. Though there was a slight underlying impatience on the silver Russian's part, he still forced himself to go slowly, easing his partner into their usual throes with a gentler touch. Each kiss lingered, light as dust, and hands caressed around every curve, fingers finding their way into secret places with subtlety, as though doing it all again for the first time.

Yuri wasn't quite so shy and reserved as back then, but there was a way in which he relaxed under his spouse's larger frame that yielded control, content to just watch, and enjoy the simple pleasures of being touched by someone he trusted; the only person he ever really let touch him. It made him slightly more aware of the blemishes on his upper arms, but he closed his eyes and pulled his hands free from his partner's clothes, raising them up above his head to lay them down in the blankets so he couldn't see the marks. That just opened him up to those slate eyes though, and his pale frame was a sight to behold in them. Yuri raised one leg up against the side of his spouse's thigh, the inside of his knee brushing past the wrinkled edge of those loosened slacks.

Viktor slowed down a moment to look, and slid his right hand up the front of that bare form, pausing right over the spot where he could feel that beating heart. He moved it to the side then, passing deliberately over one pink nub as it trailed back down to the inward curve of his husband's waist. He leaned forward, pivoting on the elbow he'd pressed into the sheets, sliding skin against skin until he found his way back to those lips. He noticed then that his partner's eyes were closed, "You planning on just enjoying the ride this time?" He wondered, teasing the tip of his nose to the one just before him.

"Would you mind...?"

The Russian tapped his fingers against Yuri's collar-bone, and tousled his bangs a bit as he huffed a laugh quietly, "Would I mind getting to do whatever I want to my husband?"

Hazel eyes peeked open again, and Yuri tilted his head forward for a moment, bringing his right hand down to cup his palm around the side of his partner's cheek and ear. Viktor turned his face into it, kissing the palm as he held there, but he half-opened his eyes again and looked back to his love's.

"...Take me..."

Viktor didn't even flinch, though after a moment, he did smile, and leaned down to kiss the tip of his husband's nose as Yuri let his head back down to the blanket under himself. He heard the soft exhale of a long breath as the younger man tried to relax. He took a few seconds to just watch him, seeing each slow breath that made that pale chest rise and fall, they very slight breeze of air in the room that made singular, long black hairs sway, and the gentle play of light and shadow on skin. Viktor slid his hand down from where it had been perched under his partner's neck, the whole of his palm and fingers pressing softly as it moved down around the curve of the man's chest and side, cupping there before pulling up to twist Yuri onto his side. Arms came down over his shoulders as Yuri came closer, hugging around the back of his head and neck, cherry-hazel eyes watching him closely. Both of their barely-open eyes locked into one another as the Russian nosed at the younger man's lips, right hand sliding further down Yuri's side as the left went under the other side to hold him close. As fingers trailed over a hip, past the brief slip of black elastic fabric that still clung to that thin frame, he curved his fingers further around the back of a thigh and pulled that whole leg over his own. He found one more kiss between them before he rolled Yuri down to his back again and moved his attention to the side of the man's neck instead.

Yuri held firmly, one hand combing fingers through silver hair as he felt the nibbles and kisses trailing down to the edge of his shoulder, the weight of his partner pressing in over him. The hand he'd felt pulling his leg up slid back the way it had come, but stopped half-way, curving down behind his legs and between them, feeling at the skin of the inside of one thigh. Fingers pressed and rubbed a little before coming away again, past the curve of his hip and then under the edge of the elastic. The whole hand went under it, pushing the fabric away as it groped a handful of his skin, making his whole frame tense briefly as he gasped a surprised breath. What little of where Viktor had previously withdrawn them, and was still uncovered by fabric after moving so much, was pressed tightly between them.

The Russian gave one more kiss to that favorite spot of his under his husband's ear before he pushed up to sit on his knees, and migrated down to crouch by his partner's legs. Fingers curled under the edge of that one piece of black clothing, and slid it upward as the man's legs went straight up in front of him, cast it aside and pulled only one of those pale limbs around himself. The other, he perched against one shoulder, kissing lightly at the inside of an ankle, moving down to the calf and knee before finally letting it go to take its place around his other side. Both hands went to the younger man's waist, thumbs rubbing around the front crest of each hip-bone before Viktor leaned down, kissing just under his partner's sternum and nibbling his way slowly upward. He slid his left hand under his spouse's back as he twisted slightly that way, the right sliding up and down a bare thigh again before coming to rest flat against that taut abdomen. He gave a gently buck forward with his hips as he pressed the flat of his hand against the eager flesh lying prone and ready. The gasp and quiet whine with the exhale made him smirk a little, and he raised his eyes to look at his partner's face, fingers encircling around the man's arousal. He slid his grasp forward, cupping around the tip and giving a gentle squeeze, and he felt both those legs press inward against his sides as a reward.

Each slow stroke, with the slight twist, squeeze, release, and return, made legs clench slightly harder. Breaths became more vocal, and Yuri turned his head against the blankets, crossing his ankles behind his husband's back as the speed picked up. It was easy to tell that his body was starting to make some of its own lube again when the sliding sound of dry skin started to sound wet instead, and that grip around him was able to squeeze tighter. He pulled himself up then, arms scrambling to get over the Russian's shoulders and cling tightly, brow pressed to the crook of the silver legend's neck. Every breath was getting louder and more desperate, and hands that were clenched into fists splayed out, fingers clamping down on pale skin behind the man's shoulder-blades. When fingernails started to drag, Viktor eased off, and Yuri collapsed into a heap, trying to catch his breath.

Viktor leaned in and gave a quick kiss as he huffed a laugh, "Almost let you go early there."

"...You're...such a tease..."

"Spasibo. So are you."

Yuri cracked an eye open to see at that amused look on his partner's face, and shook his head, "You...gonna join me...or what?" He puffed between breaths, hands sliding from the man's neck to shoulders and chest, giving an inviting look of his own.

"How can I say no to that face?" The Russian mused, leaning up and away as he slid off the edge of the bed, kicking the remains of his clothes off before returning to where he was, sliding in low to find a kiss as arms came up over his shoulders and legs curled around his waist again. He wedged both of his forearms under the small of his partner's back, arching the younger man's hips forward, and pressed in close. He could feel more of that clear liquid that had dripped from the tip of his partner's member, and brought one hand back only long enough to share the wealth, making his own skin shine from the slickness of it. He pressed himself in hard after that, sliding the length of himself up against his spouse's, then down again, and hugged that lithe frame closer to his front as his arm found its way around the man's back again to pull him in tighter. The more they rocked against one another, the more intense the feeling became, and Viktor unconsciously started lifting his partner up, left hand pressed to the man's upper back to support his weight. He only became aware that they were both nearly upright when one arm came down off his shoulder and clasped between them to replace the friction where it had lessened from their posture. It was him then that was pressing his brow to the crook of a neck and shoulder, relishing in the feeling of his partner's fingers holding them together, sliding up and down with an experienced touch.

Yuri could feel himself edging closer to the end, and released himself from his grasp to stave it off a while longer, focusing all of his attention on his partner instead. He pressed his brow forward, looking directly into those half-lidded blue eyes, black and silver strands of hair weaving into one another as his hand continued at its task, rising up that length of tender flesh, twisting and squeezing, then sliding down again. As each stroke brought the Russian further to attention, Yuri could feel the phantom of it from experiences past, pressing into him, filling him with its heat and pressure. He could hardly stand it anymore, and despite his earlier whispers, uncrossed his ankles and turned his legs around to sit up on his knees instead. He felt soft hands slide down his back to perch on his waist, and he rose above the man's lap, twisting around only enough to pull the member under himself. He teased the edge of a kiss as he nosed the Russian's lips, the palm of his hand sliding gently against the member where it was pressed up against him, each slide pushing it closer to its target. Slick from his own fluids, Yuri maneuvered the head to press against that last spot, and then slowly sat against it, feeling a breath sucked in, and every muscle that tensed in his partner's core as another inch went inside. He rose and descended a few times, going slowly, drawing that flesh further into himself on each pass, until he'd reached the limits allowed by the angle of their positions. Still, it was enough to satisfy his urge, and he let himself relax against it. Both arms settled over his husband' shoulders, foreheads pressed together as the gentle rise and fall began between them.

"Wouldn't this count as you taking yourself?" Viktor wondered, half-seriously, holding his partner steady with each hand staying on the man's waist.

"...I couldn't wait anymore...I need...to feel you..."

"Allow me then." He offered, looking up into those hazel eyes before slowly starting to lean his lover down again, feeling those knees rise up against his sides again as he laid down flat into the blankets like before. Viktor slid his hands over his husband's chest, bringing them both down to just over the man's stomach before sliding them back up again as he leaned overhead. Palms lifted off, but fingers continued moving up, brushing against the inside of each arm, around the curve of each elbow, bringing Yuri's hands down to just above his head, weaving their fingers together there...and pushing in those last few inches, pressing his hips flush against his partner's skin.

"...Nhh...yes...just like that..."

Viktor gave a wry smile, kissing the edge of his husband's chin before moving up to the man's lips. As he slid back a bit below, he teased the tip of his tongue against his partner's mouth, and slipped both inside. He kissed deeply, pushing his hips forward hard, withdrew slightly, and finally settled into the beginnings of a rhythm. The feeling of those legs around him, hooking behind his back to hold him close, only egged him on. Fingers gripped tighter around his hands as the rhythm picked up, the rolling of hips progressing to thrusts. Viktor offered one more kiss before pulling his hands back, planting them into the blankets on either side of his partner's waist, the speed of his pace picking up even more then. He dipped his head and closed his eyes as he focused, feeling the tight grip of his husband's fingers around his forearms as Yuri held on, his thin frame jerking up against the sheets with each push.

The silver legend worked up something of a sweat from his efforts, but after a while, withdrew completely. He reached suddenly for a pillow nearby, and rose up onto his knees to give his husband room to turn over.

Yuri seemed to understand, putting the pillow under his stomach as he laid on top of it and stretched out. He glanced back over one shoulder as his spouse loomed over his back, forcing him to gasp aloud and go limp as he felt the member get inside him again, legs and hips pressing flush against him as the man came down over his back. Hands and then arms went under his chest, crossing and coming out to grip at the front of his shoulders. He felt the nuzzle against one cheek as Viktor settled over one side, kissing his ear before starting to rock those hips again. Though Yuri had stretched his arms out straight in front of himself when he laid down, he had to fold them in again as the pressure built inside him, gripping at his husband's fingers as each breath became more of a whimper, then a moan, then a louder cry. He bucked his hips up only a few thrusts before he felt his whole body tense up, heat and electricity shooting out from center to the tips of every finger and toe. He cried out before his clenched-up frame finally gave out, though he held on for the half-minute-more before he felt his husband's release as well. He felt the sudden sharp pain of a bite on the back of his shoulder before the Russian's larger frame collapsed against him, breaths panted heavily against his tacky skin as each of them trembled.

Viktor slowly but surely rolled off his husband's back, though he was sure to keep hold of the man's waist, pulling him aside as he went, careful not to withdraw yet. Both arms curled around the man's chest to keep him close, and he bent his frame to spoon against Yuri's back and legs. He felt the younger man's hand slide up against his hip, reaching to give that cheek a happy squeeze before going back to clasp lightly to his forearms. It was weird, but equal parts endearing to hear Yuri manage a quiet laugh despite himself.

"...Is it weird...that I feel so much better now...?"

"I'd hoped you would." Viktor managed, still trying to catch his breath a little, "Mission accomplished...?"

"...I guess...we'll see...if I nap, and how I skate later..."

"You'll do both perfectly."

.

.

.

The awkward and tense silence of the elevator ride back up to the hotel room was felt by those who didn't even know a meeting had taken place. People practically fled from the small room, and the ominous dark cloud that spiraled over the oldest of the native-Japanese Men's Singles skaters. Asahi roughly pulled his gear bag up over a shoulder to disembark, and walked quickly in his own right to the door that lead to his room, coach and choreographer hot on his heels.

The door-lock clicked and buzzed as the key-card slid in, and the skater pushed his way in without care to whether anyone followed or not. When the door didn't close behind him right away, he knew they'd both come in, and he threw his bag to the floor near the edge of his bed.

"Asahi-san-"

"Don't even bother." He snapped, sitting harshly on the edge of the mattress, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward, burying his face against his hands, "We should probably just go."

"What in the actual Hell is going on?" Webber asked, irritated and confused, "Asahi!"

Sayoko went down on one knee before the younger man, trying to find his eyes, speaking low, "Whatever happened, it's okay to tell us..."

"Apparently what I did went across really badly and now I'm probably going to lose my spot in the Free Program." He answered bitterly, refusing to look at the woman, "So what's the point of saying anything!?"

"You said you kissed Yuri." She echoed, "And Viktor ca-"

"He called it assault." Asahi said between grit teeth, "I didn't mean to hurt Yuri...! I just... I can't..."

"Where is all of this coming from? This is so unlike you..."

The tears he'd held back since the start of the meeting were starting to come loose from his eyes, dripping around his fingers and down his wrists, some falling to the floor between his shoes, "...I didn't want anyone to know... I tried so hard, for so long, to keep it all to myself, because I didn't want anyone to think less of me... And now everything's out, and it's going to ruin me..."

"Which part?" Webber grumbled, crossing his arms and looking on disapprovingly, "The part about you being gay or the part about you forcing yourself on a married guy?"

"KYLE." Coach Nagisa barked, whipping her head around to leer at him.

"I don't care how he gets his rocks off! I care that he might've shot himself in the foot by getting on Viktor fucking Nikiforov's bad side!" He argued, gesturing a hand towards their athlete, "We spent a year and a half on these programs! We were this close to going to PyeongChang and now we're probably not even going to Four Continents!"

"You think I'm not aware of that!?" Asahi shot back, lifting his head finally, eyes bloodshot, "I know that what I did was idiotic! I wasn't thinking at the time though! It was just...adrenaline, I don't know..." He went back to hiding his face in his hands, "...I thought I'd never speak to him again..."

"So what, you were kissing him goodbye or something?"

"...Yeah..."

Webber threw his arms up and turned around, "Unbelievable."

Sayoko sighed quietly, but then rose back up again and took a seat next to the skater on the edge of the bed, patting his back gently, "Asahi-san... Just...tell us what happened. Please."

He snuffled and tried to rub all the seeping fluids from his face, tears and snot alike, but it didn't seem to help, "...I had gone to change... Just as I was about to pack up and come back, Yuri ducked into the changing room on a phone-call. I tried to get out and avoid him but he wouldn't let me leave..." He explained, tears running down his cheeks like rain, "I told him to get out of the way because I didn't want trouble, but he wouldn't budge... He said that it must be divine intervention or something that we keep running into each other despite my efforts to avoid him...and that we should just get it over with... Then he blurted out that apparently Viktor saw straight into me within seconds of me first meeting them on Thursday..."

"That you're in love with Yuri?" Sayoko prompted.

"...Used to be..." He tried to clarify, "Viktor saw into me, but Yuri saw straight through me... He... I had to...tell him about Riku..."

"What's Riku got to do with this?" Webber wondered callously.

Sayoko just gave him another dirty look, and he shook his head, sighing in exasperation.

"...He...was..." Asahi tried, feeling the tightness in his chest all over again, "...We were...secretly going out..." He finally admitted, trying to rub his eyes again on one wrist, "He knew what I was...how I felt... He saw that I was struggling, and how I couldn't get away from the past... He wanted to help me get over Yuri so I could live..."

The older woman brought her free hand up to cover her mouth, but said nothing despite the surprise of the revelation.

"...He...he worked so hard..." Asahi continued, barely able to speak through his ragged breaths, "...It took so l-long...to be okay with wh-what we had... We w-were going to tell e-...everyone...when we got to K-Kyoto...but we...never..." He couldn't speak anymore, crying too heavily to be coherent.

Even the prickly choreographer couldn't help but feel bad to see the younger man's despair. He wasn't sure what to say though. Asahi couldn't say anything else for a few minutes anyway, but Sayoko put her arms over him and held him gently. When he eventually calmed down enough that he could speak again though, his voice was raspy and hoarse.

"...I c-couldn't handle...that he'd died." He explained, "...It just hurt so much that I went numb...I couldn't think, I couldn't...say anything... No one knew a-about us...and I was suddenly too scared to admit it... I th-thought...people would either be mad...at him, or me...or both of us...or call me a liar, because we h-hid it for so long... So I just...pret-tended...that we never were... I didn't e-even think...I'd regressed so badly...until I saw Yuri again this w-weekend..."

"And Yuri never knew how you felt before." Sayoko commented quietly, "He didn't know anything that happened either. When Viktor mentioned Riku's name the other morning...Yuri didn't recognize it..."

"...Viktor..." Asahi growled, "...I thought I hated him before, because Yuri would never stop talking about him...but now, he's here, and the way he just...threw Riku's name down like it was a toy to be fought over by dogs..."

"There's no way he could have known how you felt about Riku. No one did. You made sure of that yourself." The coach said, "He has every right to be protective over Yuri though. They are married, after all."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Asahi yelled, getting up suddenly and kicking his gear bag halfway across the room, "YURI IS STRAIGHT! WHY IS HE MARRIED TO A MAN!? I SPENT YEARS HIDING HOW I FELT BECAUSE I KNEW HE WAS INTO GIRLS."

"...Maybe if you didn't hi-" Webber started, but Sayoko gave him the 'shut your face or I'll shut it for you' look and he stopped mid-sentence.

Asahi still glowered at him though, "I doubt it." He said stiffly, bringing a hand up to rub his raw and sore throat, "...Yuri doubts it, too."

"So he was willing to talk to you about all that?" The coach wondered.

He nodded and turned back around to look at where the woman was still seated, and cleared his throat roughly, "...He thinks I...would've been b-bad for him... Maybe I would be now b-because...he's changed so much... I h-hardly recognize him anymore."

"Everyone knows their own heart, Asahi." Sayoko explained, rising to stand up, "Don't torture yourself with wondering what might've been. He told you himself that it wouldn't have been, even if he'd known...and if Riku really did help you get over Yuri, then you're dishonoring his memory by erasing all the effort he put into you. What would he think of you now?"

Asahi balked, and lowered his eyes to the floor, "...He'd...be devastated..."

She put a hand on each of the man's shoulders, and looked at him closely, though he kept his gaze down, "So...there are now five people who know about what's rattling around in your head. About Yuri, about Riku...about all of it. What happens next is as much up to you as it is to them."

"...It's...up to Yuri." The skater explained, rubbing his nose on a wrist again and snuffling, "...V-Viktor said...it was up to Yuri..."

"What was up to Yuri?"

Asahi shuddered through a breath, and swallowed the painful knot in his throat, "...Whether that complaint...gets turned in at all. We just h-have to...wait for...whether the JSF calls or n-not..."

Sayoko glanced over at her cohort, and Webber glanced back as well, each of them suddenly realizing there was still hope. The coach gently patted her skater's hair then, and bent down a bit to see his face, "Then there's still a chance you'll be competing tonight. You've said Yuri's changed so much...but people don't stop being who they used to be just because they've grown to be more than that. Under all the newfound confidence that Viktor's helped him find...he's still the sweet boy I taught all those years ago. There isn't a mean bone in his body. I don't think he'll turn in those papers."

Cool brown eyes finally lifted, but they were heavy, and still red at the edges. He looked at the woman briefly before turning away again, "...What...about the rest though...?"

"What about it?"

He gaped slightly, unsure what to make of her question, "...You don't...I mean, you're not... mad at me?"

"Asahi..." Sayoko started, a motherly tone in her voice creeping up, "We're both disappointed by what you did yesterday. But that's already been dealt with. Learn from it, grow because of it...and don't hide inside yourself so much anymore, okay? You'll do yourself and Riku's memory a lot more good by being honest about what happened than by suppressing that it happened."

The skater nodded quietly, snuffling again as the last few tears finally fell from his eyes. He felt a strange chill go down his spine then, and goosebumps raised on his arms within the sleeves of his jacket. The feeling was surreal, almost haunting.

...As bad as it's gotten... He thought, ...Maybe this was how it needed to be all along...