I don't have anything to say other than the fact that 'Show Yourself' is probably the hardest song to write into a fic.

Every inch of her was trembling.

But it was not from the cold, she had never been bothered by it before -not even now when her body was still drenched from top to bottom by the supposedly cold water as the wind blew against and brushing against her skin with every trot that the Nokk took, and neither was it was due to the fact that she was afraid.

If anything, this feeling within her as she looked over at Ahtohallan almost felt familiar, like a dream she could reach yet not quite hold, her fingertips were merely able to brush against it while she could not properly wrap her hand around it.

The voice had definitely come from the majestic glacier that had grown bigger the closer that she had approach it, she could feel it the way that she did back in Arendelle and in her bones, shuddering as her heart raced in her chest as she rode across the still water that rippled under each of the step that the water spirit had taken.

The closer she had gotten, the colder the temperature of the atmosphere was. The air was crisp, freezing, that those who were born normal would most likely to suffer from terrible cold merely by coming near it.

Unmounting the Nokk with one graceful movement, as she found he body feeling lighter than usual when she had come to Ahtohallan, she had also taken off the ice rein that once held the water spirit back, nodding her head respectfully at it as her form of expressing her gratitude for it's willingness -although with a bit of a hard work first, to be ridden by her. These spirits were ancient anyway, and though they had been hostile the first time she had met them, she had understood to a certain point that they were merely trying to protect the forest.

At this point her body and clothing -what remained of it anyway after she had rid of her jacket and boots, had already dried themselves, though not the same could be said of her hair, thus why she had pulled against the ponytail, freeing the locks until they cascaded down until it reached the small of her back as she made her way inside.

Her old self had always been a fortress -much like the high ice walls that surrounded Ahtohallan the way she had built walls surrounding herself and her heart, holding cold secrets deep inside. But she had changed since then, had opened up to people that she loved and care about, had let her walls down for people like Hans where she could be vulnerable and was not afraid to admit it.

"Show yourself." She needed to meet this voice, this fifth spirit that she was dying to know, one that had called for her all the way from Arendelle to here. She needed to know if it truly had held the answers that she had been asking, needed to find the truth that lies within. "I'm ready to learn."

The walls and the flooring and even the ceiling above her were made entirely of ice, smooth and without a single scratch as if it had always been like this -this enormous ice cave, without a touch of a human to build it. Her feet didn't feel the slightest of chill as she walked further inside, and for the first time in forever she had called the voice with her own vocalization, letting her voice echoed in the empty cave, and she was pleasantly surprised when the voice had called back for her, leading her to the path it wanted her to go to.

Adrenaline coursing through her veins, she had picked up her pace until she came into a run, chasing over the glow underneath the thick layer of ice that had lit up the path beyond, running her hand over the smooth surface of the wall. She had never felt as certain as she was now -standing in what felt like a place she had always belonged surrounded with the element she had born with, and she was there for a reason, one that destiny had written for her.

Her path was coming to an end and a dark abyss laid before her with no bottom for her to see, but there was another path across of it, and she knew she had to go there, her magic called for her to go. With her magic pulsing in her fingertips, she had waved her hands forward, ice structure grew from her surge of magic until a bridge had connected the two ends -swirls of intricated design decorated every inch of it's surface, allowing her a safe and steady passage to cross.

She always been so different, even when she had accepted herself as who she was there was still a part of her that wondered why she had been like this. Perhaps this day, here in Ahtohallan, she would finally find the answer she had been wondering about for all of her life.

Further in, even blocks of ice could not stop her from continuing her path, dispersing in a blast of flurrying ice as she threw her arms wide, allowing herself inside. She was no longer trembling now, confidence pulsing in her veins as she waved her hands to fix the fallen ice pillars in her way back to their rightful place, the more she was faced with the easier she found herself into controlling them until all stood tall at the two sides of the grand hall as she felt her powers growing stronger the longer she remained in Ahtohallan.

The diamond-shaped ice crystals were familiar to her, the exact same as the ones that had appeared back in Arendelle before the spirits had run amok through the kingdom, bearing the symbols of the four elements, forming themselves by each symbol and it's respective color to create the form each spirit had taken, flowing around her, before they had combined into a single but much larger diamond, all four of them.

But there was no symbol for the fifth spirit, as it always been, even when Honeymaren had told her the belief of it. Unless—

She remembered the design on her Mother's scarf, the Northuldra girl had pointed it out during their brief talk by the fire, and she had seen the four symbols etched to it… and another one in the middle.

A bridge between us and the magic of nature.

Raising her hands, she had felt the magic that pulsed in the four diamonds, feeling them connected with her own as they moved under her control, spiraling in the air before she had brought them down onto the floor, triggering for a middle piece to appear between them.

The fifth spirit.

What had drove her into stepping onto it was beyond her capability in answering, but the moment both of her feet had touched it, the five diamonds had suddenly grown into becoming a part of a snowflake before magic shot upward with enough force that her loose hair had been lifted up as well, bursting in the air as a dome had suddenly surrounded her.

There were moving pictures on the curving surface, and upon closer inspection she had realized that those pictures were very familiar to her, images that she had seen before in her life, faces she knew so well.

Memories. They were memories.

But not hers.

The voice. It was of a young girl calling out for the wind spirit as she cradled the unconscious body of a young boy. And she recognized them from the ice statues she had accidentally created back in the forest.

"Mother."

"Come, my darling, homeward bound." That lullaby, she had not heard of it sung by that voice in so long as she turned her body around, seeing her Mother's face as she sang, her heart had ached in her longing to see those kind blue eyes once more, that gentle face.

With tears blurring her vision as emotions started to overwhelm her, her lips had trembled. She was found.

Her journey had never been merely about finding the truth and the way of freeing Arendelle from the angered spirits, it was also for her to find herself, to find her purpose in life and the reason behind her existence. It was a journey for her to step into her power that she had born with, to grow herself into something new, a better version of herself.

She was the one that she had been waiting for all of her life to test her capability into reaching far beyond what she had, not the spirits and not even her parents, but her.

Magic flowed down over her body, creating a dress laced with ice, pure white in color, clothing her with her brand-new revelation and her new discovery upon herself, decorated with the four colored diamonds of each spirit as the symbolic gesture that she was, and had always been, equal to them.

She knew who the fifth spirit was.

"Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!"

"I love you, Olaf!"

They were memories, her memories after the thick fog had cleared, frozen statues moving as the moment unfolded before her very eyes from different times of her life, even the earliest ones such as this one, where her younger self was playing with Anna, building a snowman both had loved so much and now had turned into her son's playmate as well.

"Mama!"

The call had made her turned around to see Wilhelm stumbling as he made his way toward her while the ice version of her had gotten down onto her knees, arms opened to greet him, catching him when the boy had left himself fall into her embrace. The moment had prompted a wide smile to grow over her face, as seeing her son had always been such a delight for her and deep down, no matter how she had chosen it, she missed him. She had not been apart from him for such a prolonged time, even when she knew he was safe with his father.

The sound of her own laughter had drawn her attention, just in time to see Hans lifting their joined hands, making her twirl as they walked together, which had only made her laugh further in amusement. "What are you doing, darling?"

"Having a dance under the moonlight with my wonderful wife."

Her own right hand came to hold her left, thumb and index finger coming to hold against the wedding ring that never once she had ever taken off, rolling it against the skin of her finger as her bottom lip came between the rows of her teeth. Hans must have been furious with her for choosing what was necessary, to not talk about it with him, but he would never agree and then it would put her family in danger instead of keeping them away.

Her heart did jump at the scream that she had never thought she had ever produced as she had sounded so in pain, but the moment she had laid her eyes on what part of her life could make her make such sound her heart had swelled just as the ice version of her had fell back onto the pillows and another sound had filled her ears.

"A boy! Her Majesty has given birth to a healthy baby boy!"

Wilhelm…

Tears stung her eyes as she watched the memory unfold, of how the crying bundle that was her son was given into her arms, how his cries had calmed down the moment he was pressed against her chest. He had grown so much in comparison to how small he was when he had been born, had grown from a newborn baby to a toddler that was so smart and kind that looked like a splitting image of his father.

"I'm pregnant."

Hans' icy figure had come down onto his knees, hands slipping out of her grasp as he moved closer until he could hold her by her waist instead, thumbs running over her clothed abdomen. "We are going to have a child."

Would she ever saw that same astonishment from him once more? Would she be given the chance to speak of those two precious words again, to experience the same life changing moment that Fates had written for her and Hans?

Continuing further on, this time fearful eyes had caught her attention. Those eyes belonged to her, her past self, scared and cowering back, pulling into herself and away from the world, as Hans and Anna stood near her, facing the crowd at the other side of the jagged ice that had grew out of her desperation to shield herself away.

"I know you're all a little shaken, but do not be frightened, for beyond these ice," Hans was holding her hand, the gloved one as the one that was bare was held closely against her chest, and there was a comforting look on his eyes when he looked at her before he had turned to look at the crowd, at ease. "Queen Elsa can do so much more; there is beauty in what she can do, I myself have witnessed that."

"Elsa is a good person; a good Queen that would do anything for her people, her magic does not change that." Anna stood in front of her, shielding her away from the people, her back turned toward her as she was not afraid of her own older sister even when she had only discovered of her biggest secret the same way the other guests had. "Have you all forgotten of everything that she had done, what she had worked on for the better of Arendelle, just because she revealed that she had magic?"

They were the two people that had always believed in her, even before she could believe in herself, had defended her despite the fact that she herself had not believed she was worth defending for back then when all she could think of was for her to run away, to escape from her own kingdom and up to the mountains where she believed she would be alone and yet free.

"-Here I stand!"

That moment though, she could not help but cringe at it, of the reminder of the fact that she had sung up in the mountains, with her husband watching her as she could finally try and see what she could do, to test her limits and to break through the box she had hid her magic inside of her. No matter how freeing it was for her, to sing like that still brought a flush of red onto her cheeks.

"Say something… please." The memory version of her was holding up a snowflake over her palm, with Hans sitting before her, silent with his eyes transfixed on the sight of her magic, out of him to see for the first time.

When he had looked up, to meet her eyes, there was a smile that tugged on his face. "It's beautiful."

"You are a good Queen, Elsa." This one memory though, she had no recollection in having, though upon her closer inspection she could understand why. Hans was carrying her in his arms, her eyes were tightly shut as her head leaned against his chest. This was way before she had revealed her secret to him, way before she had truly opened up to him, and yet he had still treated her like so, with such kindness and gentle gesture as he carried her away. "I do hope you realize that."

Making her way through the memories, dodging the ones that she had almost came in contact with -who knew what would happen if she was to meddle with any of them or worse changed them in any way or form, she was faced with her husband once more.

"Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, Your Majesty."

It had been their first meeting, back then when she had just been coronated as Queen, back when she was unsure with the idea of the arranged marriage that was planned ahead for her by her own parents. Hans had looked so handsome, green eyes piercing and auburn hair combed back into perfection, but she knew both of them were still holding a mask over their faces, still hiding from one another.

"I love you."

"I need to tell you about my past and where I'm from."

"I'm listening."

Those two were not the voices of her and her husband, but instead of her parents just as they pulled away from the embrace they were in so that they could look into each other's eyes as her Father's hand came to caress her Mother's cheek. They were so in love, and one held a secret from the other just the way she and Hans did, that seeing parents made her feel like she was seeing at a mirror's reflection.

"Your eldest daughter with one of my sons?"

The man's voice was unfamiliar for her, deep and almost come in a grunt as she turned around out of sheer curiosity. The man was large-build, shoulders straight and wide, with a full beard that had covered half of his neck from view, eyes hidden under the thick eyebrows he had whenever he frowned. And before him was her parents, nodding, though expression unreadable.

The man leaned back in his seat, hand coming to caress his beard. "All my sons are betrothed already-"

"I'm not." The youthful voice had made them all turned their attention, even her, and there at the doorway stood a young Prince. "I am not betrothed to any, Father."

"Ah yes, yes." The man was almost dismissive of his young son as he waved his hand in the air as he turned his attention back at the King and Queen of Arendelle. "That is my youngest son, Hans, who is not supposed to be here at the first place."

"Forgive me," Hans had bowed his head, ashamed, and seeing her future husband acting like so had made her brows knitted. He had never sounded so… little, before. He had always held himself high and proud, but this version of him had his shoulders slumping, back hunching forward as his eyes avoided those of his father's. "I was just passing through."

This man was her husband's father, the King of the Southern Isles, the one person that Hans always seemed to reluctant in mentioning, had always driven him to advert the subject into something else entirely. She remembered how Hans had told her that he had chosen to be betrothed to her as his way of escaping his own kingdom, and even from this glimpse of moment there was a part of her that understood why he had done what he did.

"King Runeard, I'm sorry, I don't understand." A new memory had made her looked up, turning to see the two ice figures that had walked side by side, eyes widening at the face she had seen only in books and portraits in the castle.

"Grandfather?"

She had never met him before, not in person anyway, as according to her Father's tale he had passed away when her Father was merely fourteen years old, fallen to his death during the confrontation between Arendelle and the Northuldra people.

"We bring Arendelle's full guard."

The man beside him was unknown to her -but perhaps Anna would recognize him the way she had recognized Lieutenant Mattias, as he tried to consult the King over his plan. "But they have given us no reason not to trust them."

King Runeard had stopped in his track, and so did the man beside him, both standing right before her as they continued to convers, turning his head to the man that stood at his eye's level. "The Northuldra follows magic. Which means we can never trust them."

That had hit her more than she thought it would. Who knew that a person that had blood relation to her who had spoken such thing, unknowing that his own granddaughter would wield a magic of her own.

"Magic makes people feel too powerful, too entitled." He continued, as her heart had dropped at the sharp accusation, for after seeing the many happy memories that happened behind her, this one had still managed to leave a stinging pain in her heart. "It makes them think they can defy the will of a King."

"That is not what magic does." She knew it was useless for her to speak up, for memories could not hear nor see her they way she had seen them, as she was merely an empty space watching as things from the past unfolded. But she had to, had to defend herself and magic, both that flowed within her and the ones in nature. "That is just your fear. Fear is what can't be trusted."

She had first person experience with fear, she had let it gnawed on her for years, eating her from the inside out before she had realized that it was truly her enemy and that she should not focus on that. Stepping aside just as the two men started to walk once more, her eyes still glared daggers to the back of her grandfather's head.

Yet when she had thought they would disappear or collide against the ice wall that stood right in their path, they had only walked through it as if there was nothing there. There must have been another room just beyond those walls.

Waving her hand, she had dismissed of it, finding a triangular hole on a wall that was far thicker than the one she had rid of just moments ago, watching as the King and his company descended down the stairs.

"You see, the dam will weaken their lands, so they will have to turn to me." Driven by her curiosity and perhaps her bubbling anger at her own grandfather's false accusation over magic, she had followed them into the descending hole, her heels clicking against the icy surface.

Dive down deep into her sound.

The farther in she was the louder the echo of her heels was heard in her ears as she picked up her pace, chasing over her grandfather without actually running.

Which, in turn, she was thankful for.

Her surrounding was growing darker as the source of light -the entrance that also served as her exit, had been far behind her. And she had been so focused on the way ahead, even when the two male figures had disappeared from her view, that if she had not been thinking quickly and stopped, right at the edge of the path with zero rail nor sign of ending, she would have fallen into the dark abyss right underneath her.

But not to far or you'll be drowned.

This marked the first time she ever felt this kind of chill that run down her spine, not entirely of fear but also of… cold. Breath coming in thin white mist, each take had her shivering as she looked down to see the Northuldra people walking down into the depth of the gaping hole at her left while the Arendellian soldiers were on her right.

"They will come in celebration, and then we will know their size and strength."

They were walking right into a trap.

Faint noises could still be heard behind her that prompted her to look over her shoulder, of her memories replaying themselves over and over again, moments that she cherished and were important for her, of her living with her loved ones, laughing and crying together as a family.

Her nose started to itch, reddened with the nipping cold that she strangely could not avoid. She had to take the jump, to leap into the hole so that she could find the truth about the past, of what had happened between the two sides until their clashed against one another, of what her grandfather had done.

So she did.

Feeling gravity pulled her down, deep into the darkness she had once avoid, until she landed in a crouching position as to break her fall, the cold ice floor underneath her palms had made her pulled her hands away as soon as she could as she came to stand.

It was… cold.

So very cold that she had actually shivered. She had never felt like this before, this sensation that stabbed through her skin all the way into her bones, chilling her until she had to wrap her arms around herself, her whole body trembled as she felt utterly useless.

For once, she could not feel her magic pulsing in her veins.

Holding both her hands out for her to inspect, her eyes had widened when frost had covered them, biting into her skin as she returned into hugging herself for warmth she desperately needed. She wanted Hans or Anna to hold her, to envelop her in their warmth, but she was alone. So utterly alone.

The Northuldra people were celebrating, gathered to watch some sort of a performance that involved reindeers, though she could not be bothered much by it as her attention had been drawn toward where King Runeard was standing with a Northuldra man, their leader perhaps, arguing over the dam that had been built.

That's a big gift of peace.

But it was not a gift of peace, wasn't it?

The Northuldra's leader lowered himself down as he held a bowl in both of his hands as frost climbed up her neck, her chest was aching from the lack of oxygen it was getting as she found it harder to breath, and her grandfather walked past her, sword raised up.

"No!"

She wanted to stop him, to block him and even shield the unknowing Northuldra with her own body if it meant that she could stop the Arendelle's King from his attempt at assassination, but she couldn't move, forced to watch the slaughter right before her eyes.

Her feet froze, this time it was not merely frost that covered her, her own body was turning into ice, rapidly from her feet and up to her waist in a matter of seconds. The tips of her fingers had started to turn into ice as well, frigid and unmoving.

Just like her nightmares where her loved ones turned into ice because of her, she was turning into one, cursed with a frozen body in the depth of Ahtohallan where no one would be able to find her.

She dove too deep.

Panic began to consume her, frozen tears filled her eyes at the thought that she would never see her family once more, that she wouldn't be able to watch her son grow up and raise him into the young man she wanted him to be, she wouldn't be able to love her husband and see his face as she ran her hands over the skin of his torso, she wouldn't be able to embrace her younger sister and—

"Anna."

She was her only hope, she was the only person she could trust in solving the dark past of their family, she had to know the truth, had to know what happened, she had to break the curse.

Raising her hand high up, she had forced the last bit of her magic to shoot up, bringing the information that she had acquired here to pass on to the Princess before ice had completely taken hold of her.

And everything turned dark.