February 18th, 2020, we've lost one of our fellow Helsa shipper. Rhan was a beautiful young girl who is always so passionate about the things she loved. Her death has hit all of us in the Helsa discord channel, including myself. But she had always loved this series so much and for that I had promised her that I will finish this story.

Her heart raced within her chest.

Wind whistling past her ears as she broke through the air, loose hair flying behind her as she drunk up this freeing feeling she did not often feel. She felt weightless, light as nature surrounded her. The muffled sound of hooves meeting the ground that had started to freeze filled her ears as she took a deep breath of fresh air, releasing it as her shoulders relaxed, lips tugging into a satisfied smile.

Arendelle's rebuild had been finished, allowing her of the break she deserved as at least half of the paperwork on her desk had been cleared. There was one, regarding of building a new statue at the Royal Square, that still remained undecided on her part. The idea was to have the statues of her parents during their youth, as a symbol of how they had connected Arendelle and the Northuldra through their love for one another. It was a beautiful gesture, truly, but she was still considering it.

She did not have the same experience over riding horses the way Hans and even Anna did, despite the many practice she had gone through living creatures still somewhat made her uncomfortable, especially if she had to ride on it's back.

But the Nokk was different.

There was a connection between them, an understanding between the water spirit and her as the fifth spirit, a trust that had been bound to happen the moment she had discovered herself. The Nokk had allowed her to freeze it's surface, so that he may ride beyond the water, and it was also far more preferable if she was to return home not wet from riding a horse with a body made entirely of water.

A round of giggles made her looked down, smiling at her son who she held securely close to her as he joined her on this refreshing ride across the Enchanted Forest. Hans was still a little wary of the Nokk -and the other three spirits for that matter, and while she could not blame him for his cautious self, she also could not entirely follow with his wish to stay away either. She was the fifth spirit, she was the bridge between them and the humans, her presence was now needed not just among the people of Arendelle but also the spirits and Northuldra.

And Wilhelm was her son, the son of the fifth spirit.

It was intriguing, really, when Yelena had mentioned the fact of it. There was a reason why Wilhelm was able to hear the voice just like she, though the Northuldra leader had not been clear on what it was. The spirits had always been accepting when she had brought Wilhelm with her -as they were still a little hostile toward humans in general especially during bad days, had never been bothered by the fact the toddler had waddled and lingered around her, curiosity often brought him so close to them -she still had to make sure he didn't touch Bruni as the fire spirit was rather dangerous for a child's hands and any hands without ice powers for that matter.

Of course, Wilhelm had been nothing but joyous to have met with the spirits. She was rather glad that he did, as she had been slowly trying to make sure that their journey had not traumatized her son by showing that all was well now and that nature was a part of him, his bloodline has Northuldra in it and she wanted to make sure he will not grow up to despise it.

"Are you sure you will not be staying a little longer?"

Shaking her head, she had given the Northuldra girl a small smile as she held Wilhelm in her arms. They had their misunderstanding when they had first met, but Honeymaren was rather sweet after they had known each other, had adored the young boy and whenever he came to visit the camp. "I can't. Hans is waiting for me back at the castle."

There was always this glint of disappointment that crossed the girl's dark eyes as she casted them downward whenever her husband was brought up, though she had never been one to pester on what it was. "Ah, of course." When she had looked up once again, her mood had returned back to normal. "But you will return here again, yes?"

"When I had the time." She was not one to make promises, especially over something that she could only slip into her busy schedule when she can, but the Northuldra girl seemed to always looked forward in having her visit, so she always tried her best. Besides, riding the Nokk had now become one of her ways to relief herself off the constant stress from her duty ad Queen.

Honeymaren nodded, handling Wilhelm back to her arms. She had dropped by to speak with Yelena, checking in with the tribe's condition and if there was something that she needed to assist with. She had promised to have the Northuldra under her care as well, though they refused to be overly dependent to the kingdom and would only accept help when desperately needed as they wished to still stand as an independent tribe free of any royal politic, which she honored deeply.

Sudden gush of wind circled her in a breeze, a familiar whistle whispered in her ears as Wilhelm reached out toward the flying snow as a mean of greeting.

Winter had made it's way in replacing autumn, as the air grew colder and white snow had settled on the ground beneath their feet. It was such a refreshing change for her, to witness falling snow that came from nature instead of the wave of her hands. Many were unable to tell, but there was always a difference between her ice and nature's, one was of magic and the other organic. She loved inhaling the fresh and crisp air of winter, often finding herself standing at the balcony in the early morning, when barely anyone had been awake, when the village had not been bustling with activities just yet.

The Nokk leapt out of the pond of water behind her, standing just by the water's end, waiting for her, a sign that she was to return back to the castle soon.

"Bye-bye, Hunneymawen!"

The Northuldra girl had let out a laugh as she waved her hand back toward the young Prince who had mounted the frosted water spirit with his mother. Her name was rather difficult for him to say, tongue twisting for a toddler such as he, and while the Queen was still working on teaching him on how to say it correctly, they had to settle with what he could say at the moment, though neither of them really minded the adorable version.

"Bye-bye, Little Prince!"

Wilhelm had been rather fond of their outings outside of the castle's walls, finding courage within himself to meet and interact with other people outside of those that had raised him in the castle, but his separation issue still lingered, though not as severe as he had at least allowed some to hold him other than his parents, as long as he knew that they were nearby and stayed in his line of sight.

Her arm held him a little tighter as the Nokk galloped across the frozen ground, looking down as she watched his auburn hair flew with the wind, messing her earlier work of brushing his hair out of his face, but Wilhelm had seemed so happy, so carefree, and that alone had made her smile as she bent down to place a kiss on top of his head.

Knowing how loved her son was by so many, how people had taken it upon themselves to protect and care for him, made her heart swelled. There had been a fear that gnawed her once, of how the people would treat him badly due to the fact that his mother possessed magic, a witch some may call her behind her backs, to despise the young Prince and the possibility that he may be born with powers as well.

"Mama loves you, Wilhelm." With all that she was and all that she had.

Tilting his head back until he could look up at her, the Crown Prince of Arendelle had given a wide smile in return that had deepened the dimples on his cheeks, clear blue eyes gleaming. "Loves Mama too!"

The rest of their short journey was passed rather quickly, as she led the water spirit to bring them to the small door at the side of the castle, the same door she had exited through earlier in the day with her son. They could, of course, exited through the main gates, but it felt too much of a hassle if her people would see her traveling away so frequently on the water horse's back. They accepted of her magic, yes, but she didn't wish to push her luck in normalizing more -including the fact that she was the fifth spirit.

Dismounting, she bowed her head toward the Nokk as it's frost melted away, allowing the spirit to return back into the water as Wilhelm waved his hand as a mean of goodbye.

She had headed straight toward her bedchamber then, climbing up the rounding stairs before anyone could see her -save from the passing servants that had bowed as she passed. As Queen, she was expected to dress appropriately, and while riding clothes were needed to ride, once she was back in the castle, she had to quickly change back into one of her dresses.

Her ladies-in-waiting had been waiting to help her, skilled hands starting to peel the fabrics off her body as Wilhelm was seated at her vanity, curious hands starting to reach for her bottles of perfume.

"Back so soon?"

She had seen him entered on the reflection of the mirror, just as her ladies-in-waiting had finished with their work on pulling her hair back into a tight bun, hands resting against her shoulders as he leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on her cheek as her hand moved to take her crown out of her son's grasp as she held him on her lap.

"Yelena had summarized most of what the Northuldra had been doing." How they, similar to their neighbor, had been rebuilding their own village into a more permanent one instead of having the need to move around once in a while, as now that the curse had been lifted, they could utilize and expand their old technologies once again.

"And what, if I may ask, is in the Queen's schedule for the day now?" Hans had move to take Wilhelm from her then, lifting him up as he pressed a kiss on his cheek, despite the boy's attempt to lean back and avoid his father's assault of affection.

Securing her crown on top of her head, she had glanced over at her own reflection, making sure that she had looked presentable once more, before she had turned to face her husband. "Council meeting. There are still things regarding what my grandfather had did in the past that I need to arrange." He had been viewed as the hero of Arendelle for generations, to reveal what he had truly done would be a problem, but she did not wish to have her people hating on the Northuldra further. "Can you take Wilhelm with you?"

"Of course I can."

The tone he had taken made her brows furrowed, but had decided against question him about it, as she opted to take her focus to her son instead, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "Stay with Papa for a little while, alright my dear Prince? Mama wouldn't be long."

Brushing passed him, her hand merely touched his arm before she headed toward the door, taking a deep breath as she assumed her role as Queen once again.

"She distanced herself."

He was not one to talk about his problems to others, often preferring to think it over and finding the best option for him to take by himself, a habit that he had developed over the course of his life of being the thirteenth Prince of the Southern Isles. Letting himself opened up to others made him felt vulnerable, much like how Elsa must have felt herself, as he admitted that it was one of the similarities that he had with his wife. But he had dared himself to start ever since he was married, at least with her, creating a bond of trust between the two of them, but he couldn't do that now.

Especially not when his problem was her.

Something within him had drove him to speak with Kristoff instead, when he had seen him at the stables caring for his beloved reindeer, inviting him for a drink out in town as Anna had stolen his son away from him anyway.

The mountain man had been rather bewildered, to say the least, but had nodded and agreed eventually, feeding Sven one last carrot in hand before he had followed the Prince Consort.

"No," the blonde man shook his head as he took another swig of his drink, setting the glass onto the bar with a loud thump. "You and her distanced yourselves." When met with a raise of his eyebrow, as he could not understand how he had come up with that conclusion, the man's shoulders had only rose in a shrug. "Anna told me."

Of course she did. "And what else did she tells you?"

"That you and Elsa have one of the worst communications there is."

Well, that he couldn't argue. They had a son together, they had been married close to four years now, and still their own ego and insecurities had held them back from truly opening up to one another. They trusted each other, yes, deeply so, but they still had their own secrets as well. He had even avoided talking about his own family with her most of the time, treating it as if they were barely even there for her to know. But he was not ready to share the dark parts of his life with her, and he doubted that he ever would.

"What do you suppose I should do then?"

"Talk to her."

"I did."

Kristoff's eyebrow rose as he watched him take a swig of his own drink. He had not been drinking in a tavern in a long time, had only did it with the other sailors, and since he had not returned to the sea in so long, he had barely spent his time drinking. "Really talk it all out? Or only the ones that you feel comfortable in talking?"

He often sees himself as the man that did not mind coming into situations that was far from being comfortable and preferable, as long as it would benefit him in the end. Ever since he was young, it was his method of survival in the cruel world he had learned he was living in, had taken decision and options that many of his brothers were reluctant in. He was willing in having to be betrothed without much of a protest -unlike some of his brothers that openly expressed theirs even to their own wives, just so he could get away from his kingdom.

But this… this involved the woman he loved the most, the one woman that was like the heaven and earth for him, and yet he found it difficult to take a leap into peeling himself completely off his defenses.

With his silence, Kristoff had nodded knowingly, lifting his hand to call for the barkeeper, ordering another round for the two of them before he turned his attention back to the auburn-haired man with a sigh. "I feel the same." He honestly did not expect that to come from him, and when regarded about it, the mountain man had shrugged. "I've never been too worldly in the ways of woman-wooing."

Now that was intriguing. Yes, he did believe the fact that Kristoff's experience with women would be next to nothing, but he had not expected him to bring the topic up. "How are you and Anna? Didn't you try to propose to her?"

Flush of red spread across the mountain man's face as he adverted his gaze away, clearing his throat as he attempted to hide his obvious embarrassment by drinking. "I-I did, yes."

"And you haven't tried again?" He was making Kristoff uncomfortable now, he could tell, but he wanted to know what he had planned with his sister in-law.

"No." the blonde man shook his head, once again shifting in his seat. "I realized it was not a good time, you know, with everything that happened."

Yes, it truly wasn't.

If he had gone forward with his marriage proposal to Anna, even after they discovered that Arendelle was saved when Elsa apparently didn't die in her process in finding the truth, it would not have been wise. And though he was not raised in a castle like the rest of them, he believed that Kristoff still had his manners.

Lifting his glass up, he gestured for Kristoff to do the same, clinking them together before both drowned it in one go.

"Another!"

"You smell of alcohol."

One thing. She had only asked for one thing to her husband before she had left for her duty as the reigning monarch of this land. This simple thing that he had assured her that he could do -and why wouldn't he unable to anyway it was not his first time, and had been one of the things that drove her to keep her calm as she faced her Council as she reminded herself that once she had gone through today's meeting she could perhaps have some time to spend with her husband and her son, to rekindle on their familial bonds that she felt had loosened.

It was not in the expectation to see her son in the arms of her sister, especially not to hear that Hans had left with Kristoff out to the town. She didn't think those two would even get along by themselves.

But she tried to think of it positively, that it was an improvement to have them bonding together, and that as soon as they were finished, they would return back to the castle before she completely lost herself into worrying over his whereabouts and his wellbeing.

He did come home in one piece, but her nose had curled up the moment he came close.

Ever since she had Wilhelm, she had refrained herself from drinking -even the usual glass of wine every meal was replaced, due to her breastfeeding her son, and Hans had also joined in, though he still took occasional drink during parties, just out of formalities.

But this stench…

Her hand on his chest had stopped him from taking another step toward her, keeping him at her preferable distance. "You've been drinking, Hans."

"A little."

It was definitely not 'a little', not when her own stomach had twisted even from the mere smell of it, when she could see that his eyes were not as sharp, his posture not as straight and at ready, cheeks flushing from his pumping of blood. No, not a little.

Taking another step back, blue eyes examining her husband from his feet and up to his head, before she had narrowed her eyes, shaking her head as she turned around to leave. "I'm staying in Wilhelm's nursery."

"Elsa, I'm not that drunk."

Still, she would rather not share a bed with him for the night. Her prolonged avoidance from alcoholic beverages had truly made her unable to stomach the scent, it almost felt like her first few months of pregnancy all over again.

Her choice in ignoring him had only made him moved forward to grab her wrist, preventing her from leaving their bedchambers. It drove her to turn around, lips pursed in annoyance, as she tugged on her hand with no avail. "Sleep it off, Hans."

"No, no," his strength was far greater than hers, and he had pulled her toward him so easily until she was trapped in his embrace. "I want to talk."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"Please?"

The look he had on his face, the seriousness in it despite his state at the moment, had made her let out a sigh as she nodded. "Fine." It was not as if it was late at night, when everyone had fallen asleep and she had planned in sleeping early after putting her son to bed.

Letting him lead her back to their bed, he had sat at the edge, hands holding hers as he looked up to where she still adamantly stood. "I just… I find it hard to open up about myself. Surely you, out of all the people, understood the feeling."

Vulnerability was their weak point, their ego and their need to fulfill people's expectation holding them back. She hated to admit that but it's true.

"But I need you to understand how terrifying it was for me to think that I have lost you forever." In their last discussion regarding her 'death', he had referred more to what Wilhelm had gone through, and while that alone had made her stomach twisted with guilt, his tone and the glint in his eyes had only made her heart sunk. She had never seen him like this, so vulnerable and… afraid. Truly afraid, as if he was facing the worst nightmare and he could do nothing about it.

Her initial anger had quickly melted away, as her body lowered to sit down on the bed beside him, hands remaining joined together. Staying silent, she let Hans to gather himself, to speak when he was ready for it.

"For most of my life, I had thought that I deserve nothing but pain and suffering under the cruel life that Fate had chosen for me. I was desperate to get away, even during my youth, that I would do anything for it." He spoke of the cruel treatment that he had received from some of his brothers, how they had belittled him just because he was the youngest of them all, of how his Father did not even bother to glance at his way most of the time, of how lonely his childhood was. "Then I met you, I married you and I fell in love with you, even when you still hide yourself away from the world."

Even when she still treated him so coldly, had perhaps even despised their marriage for the pressure that it given her on top of the expectation of being Queen, he had loved her. His hold on her hands tightened, fingers curling as he gave her a small smile.

"And then you love me, you show me what true love was, far greater and far more beautiful than those in fairytales. We had Wilhelm and I started to think that perhaps my past suffering had been one to teach me to appreciate the life I was to be given." That he would willingly gone through each and every pain of his past if it meant that in the end, he would get to love her, again and again.

One of his hands let go of hers, moving up to reach for her face instead, cupping against the side of it as he brought their faces closer together until their foreheads touched. "You are everything for me, Elsa. When that ice crystal started to-" his voice was lost then, held back, and she instead had reached for his own face in a mirroring gesture of caressing his cheekbone with her thumb as a mean of comfort. "It feels like I have lost a part of myself, my heart, and I begun to doubt if life was worth living anymore." He had never feared death before he had met her, had understood and accepted the consequences of being an Admiral, and would have welcomed death like an old friend if it comes to it. This had made her brows furrowed, but he had assured her that he was no longer that same young man. "I never thought that the death of my love would be what destroyed me the most."

"Oh Hans…"

"Please don't leave me, Elsa. I'm begging you."

Her head shook then, slowly, as she moved her arms to wrap around his neck, bringing his face down until their lips could meet, tasting the bitterness of alcohol and yet she had barely registered it. "I wouldn't. I promise, I will always be here with you."