CHAPTER THREE HUNDRED EIGHTY SIX

Jiro looked around the train platform while they waited for the bullet-train to Osaka. From his high vantage of the shoulder of his taller human, it was easy to look around the entire area, clear over the heads of nearly half the people around him. A few of those same people tried to get his attention just like the earlier tourists on the first train had, but he didn't pay them much attention. All he really cared about were the odd smells in the area, and the slow and gentle squeeze-rubs he got on his back where the silver human kept him in place.

"Oh look, there it comes." Yuri said abruptly, catching the pup's attention enough that he nudged his head under the Russian's chin to look at him, "I swear, these trains spoil us...I wish one would go to Hasetsu, too."

"Some day." Viktor mused, lifting his head enough to let the Akita under it, only to lower Jiro against his jacket a little so he could look on normally again, "I think my bigger concern right now is whether our son will make it to the end of the line without having an accident."

Yuri's cheeks flushed to hear those words, but he quickly shook it out once it settled in what the man had actually said, "Oh...yeah, that's a worry... We'll make sure he gets a break as soon as we get there. I'm sure he can hold it." He offered, hoisting the carry-bag's straps a bit higher on his shoulders as the train finally slowed and stopped before them.

The crowd gathered at the edge of the platform, but was careful to stand only on the edges of the doorway. They created a path for the disembarking passengers to follow so they could all get off quickly enough for the next group to get on before the train left again. The hustle to get aboard was intense once the doorway was clear, and everyone was swift to move forward, orderly, to get through and not be left behind.

The duo-plus-one found their seats on the left side of the carriage, a pair of chairs opposite a set of three at the very back. If traveling was something one could not skip, it ought to be comfortable, and the potential for anyone to kick the back of Viktor Nikiforov's chair was unacceptable. The tall man already suffered the indignity of having less leg-room than he was used to. Yuri would not steal the peace of a gentle ride from him, too.

With seats taken and Jiro settled on Viktor's lap by the window, they waited quietly for the train to begin moving again.

Quietly, until Yuri heard (and felt) the noise of his phone ringing in his coat pocket. He made a face and reached for it, feeling a twinge of nervousness as he dreaded the name that would display on his screen.

"JSF again?" Viktor wondered, "Maybe they have a solution for you missing practice."

"No..." Yuri sighed, "It's Minako-sensei." He twisted and tilted so he could rummage around in his other pockets, withdrawing an ear-bud cable to plug into the device, setting one into his left ear and offering the other for his partner to put into his right. Once they were both hooked up, Yuri pulled the conjoined part of the cable closer to himself so the mic would pick up his voice easier, "Hey."

"Yuri!" Minako harped, her voice a mix of worry and scolding, "Why aren't you in Osaka right now!? You missed Exhibition practice! You're an Olympian now!"

"I know, I know..." He answered, "The JSF higher-ups already called me out on it and scolded me. I can't do anything about it though. If I want to skate in the Exhibition at all, I need my solo-show outfit. I can't do Viktor's and my duet by myself."

"You couldn't just ask someone back home to get it for you...?"

"They're not my personal delivery service. This is our problem, not theirs."

"I could've gone back for you!"

Both skaters grimaced to hear it. The train started moving then, slowly shuffling out of the station but then quickly picking up its speed, the world a blur as it moved by.

"Minako-sensei..." Yuri started again, his voice taking on that 'you're in trouble but I don't want to sound mean' tone that he often used on his husband in the same circumstances, "You kind of made it a weird thing for us to want to talk to you yesterday. There's no chance we were going to just call and ask you to waste 9 hours of your life on a mission that was our responsibility anyway."

The ballerina went quiet for a moment, but eventually sighed and answered, "...Sorry."

"You want to explain what you were doing?"

Viktor turned his head to look out the window with their puppy, who was absolutely fascinated with the speed at which they were going. The Russian turned back slightly though when he felt the arm-rest between them being lifted, so Yuri could hook his leg over his own like he often did when they sat next to one another. One hand went down on the younger man's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before going back to his sight-seeing with Jiro.

Minako wasted no time, "After I helped Viktor with the meeting, I had this weird feeling about Asahi that there was more going on than just what we saw on the surface." She started, "There were all these fragments of different stories about what was going on with him, what he'd been through, what he'd done...things that weren't adding up. I hadn't actually planned on any of what happened, but I ran into him during the Free Program and asked him to come watch with me. You guys actually ran right into him when you came up into the audience, but he took off before you recognized him."

"We did?" Viktor looked back again, seeing his partner give the same confused look back.

"What are you talking about?"

"That guy with his hood up." Minako explained, "The one that ran off after Viktor asked if you two were bothering him with your antics. That was Asahi."

"Oh." The two men blanched, deadpanning the back of the seat in front of them.

"I guess he went to go change or something because he came back after that, but wasn't in disguise anymore." Minako went on, "It's hard to figure out what that kid wants, or what he's thinking, but I'd told him earlier that he should watch your shows with me. I thought it would help him understand that Viktor is genuine...that his reputation and celebrity status don't define who he is as a person, or that it poorly motivates why he's with you. We went through that doubting and confused phase a long time ago...I didn't want it to confuse Asahi, too, so I tried to nip it in the bud before it could contaminate him."

Viktor just made a face and grumbled slightly.

Yuri sighed, "...Okay...fine...so you invited him to watch our skating. Did he get what you wanted out of it?"

"He didn't seem to care much about Viktor's, but he really took a shining to yours." Minako said.

"Of course he would." The Russian whisper-mumbled.

The ballerina continued though, unknowing that Viktor was listening, "He felt horrible that the first half of your program was so rough. He blamed himself for it. He actually kind of jumped up when you did the quad Axel at the end...and he stuck around for at least part of your post-skate shenanigans..."

"Okay?" Yuri said stiffly, "Is there a point to this?"

"You wanted the story. I'm telling it, but I'm not done yet." She answered curtly, "The thing is...I get now why you never talked about Asahi before. I get how you could say that you barely knew a thing about him even though you spent years training alongside him. He doesn't give a lot away and he doesn't react to things like most people do. But the thing is...I dug into him. I made him come back and talk to me after the event was done."

Viktor would've spat his drink out if he had one. He quickly leaned over to get closer to the mic held in front of his husband's chin, "You spent time alone with Asahi Saito after he assaulted Yuri!? Are you crazy!?"

Minako deadpanned, staring at the wall where she'd sequestered herself away from the noise of the arena and more populated areas. She set her free hand on her hip and held the phone out in front of herself, "Don't you dare try to scold me for trying to do the right thing and reach out to this guy, Viktor! You're not the only ones who were hurting after everything went down, and you two completely abandoned him, even after everything else he said." She barked back, only then putting the phone to her ear normally again, "Look. Asahi made a big mistake, one that was committed in a moment of extreme emotional duress and hopelessness. If you knew even 10% of the things I do right now, maybe you could forgive him for fucking up. He never wanted to hurt Yuri, and the fact that he did is eating him alive. But what you guys refuse to see, probably because it would steal away your justification for still being mad at him, is that he regrets what happened and wants to make it right again. He's already got so much else going on...the last thing he wants is to be a source of pain for anyone."

Yuri made a face at that, but then slightly turned towards his partner.

Viktor looked back, seeing that expression in those brown eyes, and he growled, "No, no, no. Saito really messed up with this one. I don't have to care what else he's going through. He lost the chance of getting my attention the second he put his hands on my husband."

"Viktor!"

Minako sighed, "The only thing that distinguishes you from Asahi right now is the choice you made at the same crossroads." She said quietly, more calmly than before, "Viktor...when you were faced with the decision of following your heart or bowing to the will of those around you...you chose yourself. Asahi chose them. He is exactly what you would've been if you had let your father and family choose your destiny on your behalf. Asahi just got lucky in that his family didn't apparently care about the skating part of it. But he's just...he's so shattered and broken by everything. His heart and soul are a ruin. He has no friends, no support, no one to talk to...he's so hopelessly isolated that all he has are the voices in his own head. He won't even talk to his coach, someone he's known longer than Yuri. No one but me, really, has any idea how much the last two years have crushed him down into a shadow of himself. The skating was all he had, and he's ready to give that up too because of what's happening between you three."

"You don't even really know him. How can anyone really be sure that he isn't just putting on some show?" Viktor argued, "This could all be an act."

The ballerina hesitated a moment, but then steeled herself and drew a breath, "There were some things said last night that, unfortunately, got out to the public, and social media apparently blew up about it. When Asahi and I were done talking about things, and I walked him back to his room, his coach threw a fit about it and I could tell it would just make things worse to leave him there...so I invited him to stay in my room instead."

"Mina-"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN, BOTH OF YOU." She snapped, hearing the whines of protest on the other end but ignoring them, "It was the middle of the damn night when I was convinced that he's being honest with me about all of this. I was asleep. He had no reason to believe I was awake and listening, and I'm not even sure how much of it I heard, but it was enough to know that he means all this."

The duo looked at one another, but resigned to listen and settled down into their seats again. Viktor kept one hand on the Akita for balance and the other on his partner's knee for support.

"At some point in the night, Asahi woke up. I guess he went to meditate again or something...he'd done so earlier on, before we'd gone back to his room. By then, I could tell that he was using the meditation process to push down his feelings about everything...to put them down and lock them away where they can't hurt him. But...something happened, and this time, he couldn't put them out of his mind again. He was hallucinating his dead partner...and had this whole conversation with him about how things have turned out this weekend. He mentioned the fight he had with Yuri, and how much it's killing him that you reacted so severely to how it ended. If ever there was someone who personified what it was like to be Murphy's Law...this guy is it. Ever since Riku Itō's death, and including it, Asahi has experienced nothing but pain and suffering. Yuri was the first and only thing that turned up that made him happy, even if only for a minute..."

Yuri's brow furrowed as guilt started to settle in over those words.

"The fact that he hurt you so badly was just...the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak." Minako went on, "All the joy, and love, and trust that Asahi once had, has been taken away from him. He's never even gotten the chance to really mourn the loss of his partner because he was so scared to admit that's what Riku was to him in the first place...and even 2 years later, the three of us are technically the only ones who know about it. He's holding onto a level of grief and guilt that I have never seen or heard of in all my years on this earth. I think...giving him a chance to explain even a little bit of what's happening to him, has started to help him explore all these things that he's been holding in and keeping secret."

Yuri curled his fingers around his partner's hand where it rested on his knee, looking up at the man, though Viktor was still being somewhat obstinate.

"I really think that if you guys would talk to him, and sort things out...it would be better for everyone." The woman went on, staring to pace the halls slowly, "He's more like the both of you than you know. He's like this...really screwy hybrid of both of you...with Viktor's lousy history and penchant for secrecy, and Yuri's crippling anxiety and social awkwardness...but with the added complication of violently losing the one person he ever let get close to him. You've both been able to heal each other over the last two years...I think you could help him, too."

Viktor grumbled again, gritting his teeth before speaking, "Saito knows about Yuri's panic attack because everyone knows about it. If he knew 10% of the stuff I saw, in private..." He shot the words back at her, but hesitated to go on, recalling the traumatic memory of seeing his husband's clawed-up back, the pink skin from the hot water, his terror of being touched, and the long talk they had about it afterwards. He shook his head to make them go away again, "...No one would be asking me to forgive this."

"I'm not saying you should forgive him just because I've asked it of you." Minako explained, leaning a shoulder against one of the wood-paneled pillars in the secluded hall, "I'm asking you to talk to him. If you forgive him, or if you don't...let it be because of what you and him say to one another, not because I asked. I'm just an arbiter here...I think it'd only be fair to let him speak for himself, directly to you guys."

"...Is he even willing?" Yuri wondered, "Did you ask him this already?"

"I did. It's the only reason I'm asking you guys to consider it, because I already know he would go if you agreed."

"How would we even arrange this kind of thing...?" Yuri asked, "The official hotel has already been kind-of contaminated by the memory of the meeting...the skating arena wouldn't be a good place either because it's too public..."

"How close are you two to being back in Osaka?"

"We just started out of Fukuoka, so about three hours."

"Okay..." Minako rubbed her chin with a finger, "Let me figure out the details. There's still time. I'll text you the details once I've talked it over with Asahi."

"...Sure..." The younger figure said nervously. He turned his eyes quickly when he felt a cold-wet feeling on his fingers, then warm-wet, and spotted Jiro licking them where he had tightly gripped the Russian's pale hand. He let himself relax a little and raised that hand to rub the puppy's head, "...Yeah, okay. We'll think about it. Go ahead and sort things out on that end...we'll probably have an answer for you by the time you think of a place and talk to him about it."

"Hai."

"Bye for now." Yuri finished, clicking out of the call before leaning his head back against the seat. He drew a deep breath and let out a long sigh before turning to rest his head against his spouse's shoulder, "...So...thoughts...?"

"I'm not convinced." Viktor said sharply, "But I feel a bit outnumbered here, too."

"It's not up to her or Asahi what happens next." Yuri explained, "It's up to us, so it's a 50/50 thing. I say yes, but 50% is not a passing grade."

"It's more like 51 to 49." The Russian said gruffly, "You're a veteran of the Asahi Saito Saga, so you kind of have seniority."

"I don't see it that way...and I won't go if you don't want to talk to him. I'm just considering what this would to do future competitions. If what Minako-sensei is true...he may quit even if he gets picked for PyeongChange, simply because of the fact that he has to see us again so many times and how stressful it all will no-doubt be."

"And I'm okay with that."

"Viktor..." Yuri sighed, "You're not even giving him a chance."

The silver legend tilted his head slightly, rubbing his cheek against the gelled-back slick of black hair beside him, "If you could feel how much pain I was in that whole time I was trying to sort you out after the Short Program..."

"You're holding onto it like he does." The younger figure explained, "Are you mad because Minako-sensei suggested that you and him are so similar?"

"I'm mad because I'm worried." He explained, "Right now, if we do nothing, then the Exhibition might go off without a hitch. If we do this though..."

"It's a risk." Yuri agreed, "But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. We have a chance to make this work, too. If we go, and it looks like we won't be getting anywhere with things...then we can always leave before it gets bad. At least then, we can't say we didn't try."

Viktor grit his teeth again and grumbled a bit under his breath, but then shook his head and sighed, stroking his thumb back and forth over his husband's hand, "...If we go, we do things my way."

"What's your way?"

"I talk to him alone first."

"He might think that's an ambush and bottle up again."

"We won't be far away from you and Minako." The Russian explained, "I just want one minute to lay down the ground-rules for how things will go. If he agrees, then I'll wave you over, if not...I'll come back on my own and we'll go."

"So you're agreeing to speak to him."

"In stages."

Yuri thought on it for a moment, but then nodded, "Alright..."

"And one other thing." Viktor added suddenly, forcing his partner to look up at him, "I want to know what's being said online. If whatever was said last night was enough to get the fans riled up, then I want to know what it was."

"...Oh...okay." Yuri turned back to where his phone had been abandoned on his lap, and pulled it up again to unlock it, "...I'll find out."