Chapter 5 - Reservoir Krocks
Disclaimer: While DKC4 is no stranger to dark or even morbid content, this chapter features a particularly gruesome death involving a character taking his own life. If you're not comfortable with mentions or depictions of suicide, consider this your warning to turn back now.
A massive explosion.
A sea of Kremling bodies.
A sinister man in purple attire.
These were the last things Keith Rool remembered seeing before he blacked out. A treacherous assault on his DK Island base, orchestrated by the terrible Agent Racket. Once a close ally in the plan known as Operation Doomsday, it seemed as though Racket was now going rogue and attacking other members of the Operation. But why? What was he trying to pull? Was Boss aware of this? He knew not the answers to any of these questions, but he knew he had to find out the true nature of Racket's plan…
...K. Rool awoke in a sterile white room, lying down in a hospital bed. He felt around atop his scaly noggin and found that his vaunted crown was, thankfully, right where it always was. Medical diagrams depicting mainly humanoid creatures dotted the walls of the room, and an IV drip was attached carefully to his arm. He looked around after wiping his eyes and noticed another Kremling sitting on a stool beside him, reading a book that had the title "BOASTGUSTERS" plastered across its front cover. "Where am I?" K. Rool finally asked aloud.
"New Donk." Augusto replied without taking his eyes off of his book.
K. Rool shook his head briefly in confusion. "What am I doing here?"
"Plan B." Augusto turned the page.
K. Rool scratched his head with a gnarly claw. He'd remembered Augusto saying something about a "Plan B" as he was falling out of consciousness… but he couldn't quite remember what it was. "What is Plan B?"
Augusto put his book down in mild exasperation. "Don't you remember? Plan B had you going back to your boxing career in case we went broke."
K. Rool's eyes bulged out even more than usual. "We went broke?!"
"Yes. That massacre was more expensive than I figured."
Right… that jogged K. Rool's memory a bit. Losing an entire castle, along with countless casualties, probably took a lot out of their savings. Recalling the event so vividly also reminded him of the other "Plan B" they had discussed previously. "But what about Donkey Kong?" He asked Augusto.
"We can't rescue anyone if we're broke, sir."
K. Rool stopped to think for a second. They were flat broke, in the middle of New Donk City, with none of their allies around to help them. Indeed, it seemed as though donning his old boxing persona and hitting the ring for some prize money was their best chance at getting back on their feet. But still, he couldn't exactly fight in his current condition, being bedridden and all. "Well, when can I get out of this hospital bed?"
Augusto shrugged. "Doctor said he'll be here any moment now."
As if on cue, a Zinger wearing a doctor coat entered the room. He had a name tag with the name "Dr. Harmony" written across it in black marker. "Alright, Mr. Rool, it seems you'll be fine for now. Just remember to drink some water." Dr. Harmony passed K. Rool a small glass of water and removed the IV drip from his arm.
K. Rool cautiously got up and chugged the water glass. "If you say so." He stretched his arms, surprisingly limber in spite of what happened back at the castle.
Augusto put down the book, and stood up next to his leader with his arms crossed. "You wanna wait for a recovery to get back in the ring?"
K. Rool flashed Augusto a cocky smirk, continuing to stretch. "Recoveries are for sissies!"
K. Rool and Augusto made their way out of the hospital and onto the streets of New Donk. Bright yellow taxis and New Donkers dressed in grey passed by them, the locals looking up at the hulking Kremish lord with only slight disdain.
"Pretty sure the boxing gym is nearby, I have the map carved in my skull," Augusto said, walking in front of him. K. Rool hoped he was being metaphorical.
Augusto led K. Rool down a dark alleyway, with them both having to tiptoe around garbage and other indiscernible hazards, until they found the entrance to the gym and ducked inside. Therein, a New Donkian man in a suit stood behind a reception counter as a bunch of boxers of varying builds and species trained on the perimeter of the establishment. K. Rool waited by the door as Augusto talked to the man behind the counter, and Augusto approached him a few minutes later.
"Alright, you're booked."
"What?"
"You'll be fighting tonight, got you against their best guy."
K. Rool looked down at his subordinate with an angry expression, snarling. He needed to win so they could get the money, yet Augusto had just set him up against the top dog of the ring?! Regardless, he decided there were more productive uses of his time than chewing out his advisor yet again. "Alright, then," K. Rool replied, indignantly.
Augusto pointed to the entrance of the locker room. "You should get dressed, sir. If you're gonna get back in the ring, you gotta suit up."
K. Rool nodded, and jogged into the locker room. In there, he found a cardboard box filled with a bunch of leftover attire from previous boxers. K. Rool physically recoiled at the smell of them, but after much deliberation, he decided on a skin-tight blue singlet and some red boxing gloves to put on. He looked in the mirror, smiling and nodding. He felt ready.
K. Rool returned to Augusto, who was still standing by the entrance.
"That looks terrible," Augusto quipped. "I like it."
K. Rool and Augusto both hit their fists at each other. "I'm ready to twist some jaws!" K. Rool flexed dramatically.
With that, the pair of crocs decided to get some training in before the big match. They hit every machine and training apparatus in the gym, and although K. Rool felt tired, he didn't really feel any stronger after it all. Night fell, and K. Rool was in the locker room, waiting to be called and doing some one-handed push ups.
"Remember, sir, hit below the belt when nobody's looking." Augusto massaged K. Rool's shoulders.
K. Rool smirked at Augusto. "I'm gonna fuck 'em up."
"That's what I hope," Augusto pulled out a wad of cash. "I'm betting everything I've got on you. If you lose, we're done for."
A burly man with a thick New Donk accent leaned in from the door. "'Ey, Rool, yer up."
K. Rool gave Augusto a confident thumbs-up as he walked out of the locker room and made his way to the ring, the seats filled with rowdy audience members. An announcer voice rung out from the PA system:
"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's heavyweight challenger, King Krusha Rool!"
K. Rool made his entrance into the ring, raising his arms up in the air as he did so, eliciting barely any reaction from the audience. "Wahey! Thank you! Thank you!" He cheered, signalling to the crowd.
Still nothing.
Yeesh… tough crowd, K. Rool thought. He took his stand in his corner of the ring, when suddenly, the lights went out, and he heard the announcer:
"And now, to defend his title of champion, comes King Hippo the Great!"
The audience screamed as the lights came back on, and an absolute behemoth of a man (who somehow lacked a nose) made his way out of the locker room, slowly. K. Rool heard his grunts get louder as he approached, breathing heavily with an angry look in his eyes as he entered the ring and saw him on the other side. K. Rool took notice of the crown atop his head, recognizing this not only as a battle among adversaries, but among kings. Only one of them was fit to wear the crown, and he knew just who it was.
K. Rool laughed. "Good luck, my friend," he said to Hippo in a mocking tone, pointing at him with an outstretched glove. This caused King Hippo's face to instantly change color to red, making him furious.
The two combatants stood in front of each other at the center of the ring, ready to exchange blows. The judge, a portly, mustachioed man who could've reasonably been New Donkian himself, gave the countdown and shouted "Fight!", going back to the ropes. King Hippo screamed like an animal, and slugged K. Rool in the head with a punch to the cheek, but the crocodilian king quickly recovered. In kind, he hooked King Hippo in the mouth, causing him to take a step back, looking angrier. He constantly shouted as he kept throwing punches at K. Rool, who was able to deftly dodge all of them. The audience began to boo.
"Come on, toughy!" K. Rool taunted Hippo. This only caused his volley of punches to become more rapid and forceful to the point that whiffing them made him stumble forward, giving K. Rool a chance to deliver a devastating uppercut to the chin. King Hippo screamed in pain, reeling backward. However, just as K. Rool was thinking up his next move, King Hippo retaliated by slamming both sides of the croc's head with his fists, and then hooking his face. K. Rool fell to the ground, and the judge began counting, but he was able to pick himself up before he finished.
"Dirty fighter, eh? Well, two can play at that game!" With that, K. Rool proceeded to run behind his opponent, giving a series of jabs on the back, then running back to the front and punching him square in the chest as the crowd's booing intensified. He continued to dodge the rest of King Hippo's attacks and delivered a hook to the ribs, making him step back. K. Rool smirked, and followed up with a barrage of punches, but astoundingly, King Hippo was able to block them all without taking a lick of damage. Hippo began beating his chest while shouting, as the crowd in the stands began cheering.
"Oh, no," Augusto said within the crowd.
Rool, however, saw King Hippo's grandstanding as an opportunity to take advantage. While he was distracted, he punched King Hippo in the head, sending his crown flying out of the ring. This sent the heavyweight king into an unparalleled rage as King Hippo grappled K. Rool and tossed him against the ropes, rushing to him and slamming his stomach with his fist. He began screaming out in pain from punching his chest plate so hard, but alas, K. Rool fell onto the ring once again.
The round bell rang as K. Rool got up, and both him and his opponent returned to their separate corners. K. Rool sat down on a stool while Augusto came over.
"This is sad to watch, sir." Augusto shook his head dejectedly.
K. Rool panted aggressively. "Get me a banana peel," he whispered to Augusto. "I have a plan." Augusto departed, and within seconds, he returned with a banana peel, which he stealthily put in K. Rool's pocket.
K. Rool smirked. This was going to work.
The bell rang again, and the two fighters walked back out to center field.
"You're going down, Caveman! Come on!" K. Rool continued to mock Hippo.
Hippo merely walked forward with a serious look in his eye and started throwing punches at K. Rool, which he was able to safely block with his gloves. King Hippo began charging at K. Rool screaming, but K. Rool simply threw the banana peel at him, which hit him in the head. Bewildered, King Hippo stopped suddenly, picked it up, and started eating the banana peel. Puzzled, K. Rool knew that now was the time to land the finishing blow. While Hippo was eating, he rushed behind him and punched the back of his head, making him fall to the ground while choking on the banana peel. "Choke on that!" K. Rool taunted. The judge began counting, but King Hippo was unable to get up, rolling around and showing his choking face.
Krusha Rool put his arms up, facing the booing crowd, not looking at Hippo. However, Hippo was able to get up and swallow the banana peel, winding up a punch while walking up to his opponent. K. Rool barely noticed him and dodged his blow. "You wanna go, doughman?"
Hippo roared and charged K. Rool again, but this time, K. Rool saw it coming. He planted his foot firmly down on Hippo's, putting his whole body weight into the stomp. Hippo screamed in pain, upon which K. Rool punched him in the throat, causing him to spit out the banana peel and some blood. He delivered a follow-up punch to the gut, making Hippo step back, coughing up more blood. Rool could see him shivering while the crowd screamed at him. Ignoring them, he pulled his fist back, and after considerable windup, he swarmed the ugly Hippo King's face with punches, finishing off with a hook to the face. As his fist hit him, he heard a slight bone-cracking sound as the obese champion was sent careening backward, falling to the ground.
A light "oooh" fell over the crowd, and everything became quiet.
The judge went over to Hippo, and counted to ten. "Knockout! The winner is Krusha Rool!"
K. Rool started laughing and punching the air, as the crowd continued to boo him. This did not matter to K. Rool; he'd won the match, and that meant he and Augusto now had the money to proceed with Plan B!
K. Rool ignored the crowd, as well as the paramedics that swarmed the arena, and exited the ring, Augusto running up to him.
"Holy shit, you did it!"
"You bet your ass I did!"
K. Rool and Augusto hit each other's fists together again. "Let's go get that money, pronto!"
K. Rool returned to the locker room and got himself changed back to his normal self, and walked out the back exit with Augusto.
"The betting house is two blocks down from here," Augusto directed. "We're rich!"
But before the two could finish making their way through the alleyway, a man with a futuristic gun appeared in front of them.
"Well, well, well… If it isn't the loser who made me lose my money!" said Nitros Oxide, pointing his laser gun at the pair.
K. Rool and Augusto looked at each other, then back at the man. "What?"
"You were supposed to lose, fatso!" Oxide shouted, aiming his gun. "That bet money was the last thing I had after my divorce!"
"Uh, too late, we already won," Augusto replied dismissively.
"I'll give you one last chance to think of better last words!"
K. Rool grinned smugly. "Do it, pussy."
With that, Oxide pulled the trigger… only to find that his gun was out of ammunition.
K. Rool and Augusto began laughing hysterically, while Oxide tried frantically to get his gun to fire. "Get lost, loser!" K. Rool shoved past the man.
"Please, I'm sorry! Just give me a small part of it, I beg you!" Oxide got down on his knees, grabbing onto K. Rool's leg.
"What do you have that's of our interest?" Augusto asked him.
"I can give you my car after my girlfriend comes home from work!"
K. Rool and Augusto looked at each other again. They didn't have any vehicle between them, and anyone who looks like an alien and carries around a laser pistol must have a pretty futuristic ride. K. Rool looked down at the man. "Get your car here, and we'll take it."
"Yes! Thank you so much!" Oxide took out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Humba, whenever you get out of work, meet me at the alleyway near the gym!"
"Hope it's a good ride," Augusto muttered offhand.
After a fair bit of waiting, a small space ship pulled in from the end of the street, with a shaman woman piloting it.
"Oxide, what is this?" Humba Wumba asked Oxide.
"No time to explain, honey," Oxide walked up to the "car". "Just get out and let these guys take it!"
"I'm not going to let more people take your things away, Oxide." Humba retaliated.
"We're giving him a bit of our bet money for that ship," K. Rool intervened. "We have to rescue Donkey Kong."
"Donkey Kong?!" Wumba gasped. "Get your money later, we have to go!"
Without questioning, K. Rool and Augusto got in the vehicle, with Humba switching seats with Oxide, who piloted it to the sky and out of New Donk City.
"...so, you know about Donkey Kong?" K. Rool asked Humba.
"Oh, yes, of course." Humba turned back in her seat. "He's one of the few people on Earth to own a magic golden banana."
K. Rool cocked an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Humba turned back around to face forward. "I am a shaman, I need that golden banana for a ritual."
"Ritual?"
"To summon a demon," Humba replied.
"You can't just summon demons," Augusto added.
"What kind of demon would you need to summon, anyway?" K. Rool inquired.
Humba froze for a moment. "The Ursidaemon. My… previous partner wouldn't accept that crystals don't work to summon it, and I need that golden banana to show him I was right."
"I'd prefer it if you didn't talk about him again, sweetheart." Oxide glanced over at Humba.
K. Rool folded his arms, pondering for a second. "I'll convince DK to give you a golden banana if you help us rescue his monkey face, deal?"
"Let's do it!" Humba responded enthusiastically.
"Just tell us where we find Kong," Oxide said.
K. Rool had to think for a moment. He tried to remember all the places that Boss could have taken Donkey Kong. At best, he remembered going to an island when he was invited to join the Operation. He didn't know if that was where DK was, but he figured it was their best shot if they wanted to find the Boss. "It was a private island that the bad guys took over."
"Best to be precise with our information, sir," Augusto interjected. "Are you talking about the former Yoshi's Island?"
"That's it, yeah."
"To Yoshi's Island we go!" Oxide said, gripping the spaceship's steering wheel.
"Our first adventure, honey," Humba said, smiling at Oxide. Oxide smiled at her, before turning his eyes back to the front as the ship sped ahead.
"We can't be spotted, so we'll need to land completely out of sight." K. Rool turned to Augusto in the seat beside him. "Do you think they'd expect me to show up again?"
"Sir, I don't think they respect you that much," Augusto responded frankly.
K. Rool started to wonder if Augusto's honesty was a pro or a con. "Did you bring my Blunderbuss?"
"No, but if the alien's gun can be recharged, we'll be ready." Augusto pointed at Oxide's gun that had failed just moments before.
Oxide held up the gun, which was plugged into the spaceship via one of its internal ports. "I just need some electricity, got the new laser gun model."
K. Rool turned back to Humba. "Couldn't you shaman cook up a spell that makes us strong, or something?"
Humba shook her head. "I cannot channel magic without the correct ingredients. Hopefully there will be some things I can use on that island."
"Any magic that can help works, madam." Augusto added.
Humba giggled. "Call me Humba, Madam is what Oxide calls me." She wrapped her arm around Oxide's.
Oxide frowned a slight bit. "I thought that was undisclosed information…"
The vehicle held a quiet ride along the skyline, with everyone's attention turned to the stars. The atmosphere was one of eagerness, and the gang felt ready for any situation.
After a long time, a dark island began to reveal itself over the horizon. The towering hills, now partially mechanized, were a hallmark of when this was once Yoshi's Island. A massive dome marred the eastern side of the island, and military vehicles and small garrisons littered the rest of the island's surface. There was no mistaking it: this was the Isle of Death, Agent Racket's home base.
The ship landed unnoticed in an abandoned dock near the edge of the island. "So, is this it?" K. Rool asked.
"The Isle of Death, this is our stop." Augusto looked down at his tablet, before putting it away. "Now we need to move carefully past these rows of trees." He pointed to the row of shrubbery that separated them from the island's troops.
"Okay." K. Rool nodded.
They all got out of the ship and headed through the bushes sneakily. Miraculously, the group consisting of a Kremling, a fatass croc, a shaman lady, and a cuckold alien managed to get all the way to the other end of the island without getting caught. Eventually, they came to a clearing filled with military buildings and Koopa Troopa soldiers, both on foot and piloting tanks. In the distance, the large dome they had observed earlier towered overhead.
"There's a whole town here," K. Rool remarked.
"Indeed," Humba said somberly in response.
Suddenly, K. Rool noticed two of the tanks moving toward their position. Without thinking, he dragged all of his crew into a nearby cave so as to not be found. They all stood still and held their breath until they heard the rumble of the tanks fade into the distance.
"Phew," K. Rool wiped his brow. "This is going to be harder than I thought."
"Tanks don't walk alone, so we can't just keep sneaking in bushes and pray we're not found," Oxide piped up.
"He's got a point," added Augusto.
Meanwhile, Humba had walked away from the conversation, and stood in front of a leftover Koopa skeleton deeper inside the cave.
"Humba?" Oxide looked over at her.
"The only way we can traverse the island," Humba looked back to her lover, "is if we have someone who knows it inside-out." With a stick, Humba drew a series of odd symbols on the wall of the cave, and after holding out a phoenix feather she took out of her pouch, the symbols glowed, and the skeleton began to rise and come to life.
"What the hell…?" K. Rool muttered to himself.
The skeleton slowly blinked his newfound eye sockets, and then started to panic as he realized he was missing his organs and skin. "W-where am I? What is this?!"
"Hey, hey, hey! It's okay, this is your afterlife." Humba put her finger up to the skeleton's mouth and talked in a low, soothing voice.
The skeleton remained unconvinced. "This isn't heaven, this is hell!"
Humba put her hand on his shoulder. "It's neither. We need your help to traverse this island."
"And why should I help you with that?"
Oxide came at the skeleton, grabbing his skull with force. "We gave you life, and we can take that from you again just as easily, you FREAK."
"Alright, alright!" The skeleton shoved Oxide away, only slightly afraid. "You know, I'm not used to being just Dry Bones."
"How did you even die in here, anyway?" Augusto asked Dry Bones.
Dry Bones scratched his cranium. "I… don't remember."
"No brain, can't remember how he kicked the bucket. Poor thing." K. Rool feigned sympathy for the undead Koopa.
"Wait, I can try tapping into his mind." Humba placed her hand on Dry Bones' skull, her phoenix feather aglow. Suddenly, she took her hand away, and a spark of the Koopa's previous life flashed before his eyes.
The Koopa clenched his fists. "That. Mother. Fucker."
"What happened?" K. Rool asked.
"That bastard, Racket. He shot me here because I was going to snitch his secret plans to our Boss." Dry Bones pointed to a hole in his ribcage.
Everybody gasped.
"Racket did this?" Augusto added.
"Great, now we can start a club of people who've been betrayed by that rascal." K. Rool crossed his arms. "What secret plans could that skinny loser have anyway?"
Dry Bones explained. "He's removing everyone from Operation Doomsday, one by one. He's taking every major member of the plan out of the picture until it's just him and Boss, so he can backstab him just like he did everyone else so far."
"I knew that bastard was too evil to be happy being just a henchman," Augusto added.
So Boss wasn't aware of Racket's plan after all… K. Rool knew now that Racket had to be stopped, as soon as possible. He turned to face his crew. "Change of plans. You guys rescue Donkey Kong; I'LL deal with Racket."
"You guys want to rescue Donkey Kong too?" Dry Bones inquired.
"That's what me and my partner are here for," Humba responded.
Dry Bones giggled a bit. "Oh, then I hope you aren't late for the execution."
Fuck. So not only was Racket vying to take out the Boss and take over the entire Operation, but he was also about to kill Donkey Kong. "Where is that ape being executed?" K. Rool demanded.
"Where else? The Tennis Court of Death, where we used to have our colosseum."
The Tennis Court of Death…? Just like Racket to have a stupid place like that. K. Rool pointed at Dry Bones. "You'll take us there, Boney."
Dry Bones nodded his head. "Sure thing. I like that name."
"So, we're just going to be rushing towards that place, even with the tanks?" Humba asked skeptically.
K. Rool looked at Boney. "I have an idea."
The crew exited the cave, and proceeded to sneak towards the supposed tennis court. They all came to a stop due to the path being blocked by Koopas with weapons and tanks.
"Plan time." With that, K. Rool tossed Boney out of the bushes, who immediately collapsed into a pile of bones. At first, the Koopa guards merely pointed their weapons at it quizzically, but as they got closer, the bones suddenly reanimated, sending every Koopa in the surrounding area running for the hills at the sight of a living dead turtle. Boney gave the group a wink and a thumbs-up. They all kept making their way through the bushes, unnoticed by any of the leftover guards or snipers, with Boney in front leading the way.
"Is there anything else you should tell us, pal?" Augusto asked the skeletal fellow.
Boney chuckled. "All I can tell you is that I'm excited to see Racket get what he deserves.
The crew kept following Boney, and they passed by a radio, which a couple of the Koopa Troopa guards were listening to. It was barely audible, but they were still able to pick up some of it: "From New Donk City to across the world, we have two wanted criminals on the loose. Both crocodiles. They're wanted for the murder of Erik Hippo."
"Oh, great," K. Rool muttered. "I'm a wanted criminal now."
"Hush, that's no news." Augusto kept walking, completely unfazed by the news.
K. Rool took Augusto's point and looked up at the massive dome which lay ahead. Inside, he could see stands filled to the brim with Koopas, Waddle Dees, and Kremlings. Racket, that bastard, had co-opted his own troops, which only made K. Rool want to kill him even more. "Is this it?" K. Rool asked, pointing to the dome.
"That's the place," Boney responded.
"But it looks so fancy," Humba said, mesmerized by the ostentatious interior of the place.
"Exactly the type of execution DK deserves," K. Rool responded, advancing toward the dome. "Now, do we bust in, or blend in with the crowd?"
"I say we blend in," Boney suggested. "If we're lucky, they won't be dressed for the occasion."
"We'll be spotted before we even get in," Augusto countered.
K. Rool pondered the situation. While it would certainly be fun to bust in, it would also be fairly advantageous to hide amongst the crowd and get an earful of what's really going on. The crew entered the dome and tried blending in with the large crowds of mooks. After some more walking while remaining unnoticed, they managed to find some seats, although curiously, Oxide seemed to be missing. The group all stared down at the tennis court below, which opened to reveal a massive lava pool underneath. Near the pool was a platform with a throne and a door; the door opened shortly after the pool did, and from it came Waluigi (AKA Agent Racket), Meta Knight, and someone hiding under a cloak who took their place on the throne. Boss, no doubt.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest execution there ever was!" Meta Knight announced, with the crowd cheering along. The roof of the dome opened up to reveal a large helicopter with a rope tied to it, carrying Donkey Kong, Candy Kong, and a shaman with a skull on his head.
"W-what?!" Humba gasped.
Meta Knight pointed up at the three prisoners. "Here we have the hero of the jungle, Donkey Kong! His first lady, Candy Kong! And the nerd who made us waste our time with his fake book, Mumbo Jumbo!" The crowd went wild with an assortment of boos and jeers as each name was called.
The man in the cloak raised his hand as he began to speak. "These three individuals have made me very upset, especially the Kongs. So I made sure to organize this execution for all of you to see. And to learn what happens when you fuck with me."
"Come on, sir. The only thing more pathetic than Mumbo lying to us about the creatures in his book is him deserving such a spectacular death!" Waluigi cackled, and the crowd laughed along with him. "However, sir, I forgot to tell you we have some VERY special guests today!" Waluigi pointed to the crowd, precisely where K. Rool was sitting. "Mr. Crocko and his band!"
The crowd gasped upon noticing the crew.
"Shit," Augusto hissed.
The group tried to escape, only for all the Kremlings and Koopas to hold them down.
Waluigi chuckled. "You're not getting away. You're watching this with everyone else, since you wanna be the monkey rescuing hero!"
K. Rool struggled to speak as the Koopas and Kremlings dogpiled him. "How… did you know… I came here… to rescue DK?"
"A little birdie told me." Waluigi stepped aside, and revealed a cage with a beaten-up Squawks inside.
K. Rool's jaw dropped slightly. "Who even is that guy?"
"Just someone who knew what your plan was, is all." Waluigi put away the cage with Squawks.
"You said that Agent Scale would not bother us anymore, Racket," said the cloaked man.
"He isn't, sir, he's being held until it's HIS turn to swim in the lava!" Waluigi responded with a laugh.
"Right, right, good one. Now drop the monkeys and the magician!"
With that command from the Boss, the rope holding the trio was severed, and DK, Candy Kong, and Mumbo all began to fall into the lava pool. K. Rool, unable to move, could only sit and watch as they fell to their deaths. "Go to Hell!" He shouted impotently, as an invisible smirk creased the Boss' face.
But then, out of nowhere, a spaceship came flying through the hole in the roof and flew down to the lava, catching DK, Candy, and Mumbo before they died. "You dropped this!" screamed Oxide, flying to the sky with the rescued crew.
"OXIDE!" K. Rool shouted gratefully.
"Oxide, you maniac!" Augusto screamed.
The man beneath the cloak punched the wall next to him out of anger, leaving a fist-shape dent in it. "Meta Knight, bring that thing back to the ground!"
Meta Knight nodded, and flew up into the night sky, chasing Oxide. Oxide shot one of the Kremlings holding down K. Rool with his laser gun, freeing him. K. Rool laughed, and began to beat up the crowd members, freeing Boney, Humba, and Augusto in the process. The fight was on.
K. Rool slammed his fists down on a nearby Koopa Troopa's head, making him retreat into his shell. He then threw the shell at Waluigi, who reflected it with his tennis racket, sending it flying into the rest of the crowd.
Oxide came flying down, running over some of the crowd members, killing them. DK and Candy Kong jumped out of his ship, and DK howled and beat his chest, ready to join the beatdown. Mumbo stayed in the ship with Oxide, firing spells at Meta Knight, who was able to fly and dodge them all.
Donkey Kong called over to K. Rool, who looked over and saw him giving a thumbs up while punching Koopas and Kremlings to bits. K. Rool smiled; it hurt just a bit to beat up his old crew members, but at the same time, they were traitors, and no servant of Agent Racket was getting any mercy from him. Looking back at Waluigi, K. Rool noticed that he'd gotten himself a tank and was now firing Bullet Bills at him, although they all ended up hitting the other crowd members instead.
"I MAY BE DEAD, BUT I'VE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE!" screamed Boney as he punched a Kremling in the crotch, making him fall to his knees.
The crew continued beating up their foes until there were almost none left, with Mumbo still trying to shoot spells at Meta Knight, who was dodging flawlessly. Mumbo then fired a spell at Waluigi in his tank, who reflected it with his racket directly at K. Rool.
"SIR!" screamed Augusto, jumping directly in front of his boss and being hit by the reflected spell, becoming a Klaptrap.
"AUGUSTO!" K. Rool screamed, looking down in horror at his advisor. "He was my most loyal henchman, you asshole!"
K. Rool whistled, and Oxide swooped down to catch him, dropping him down right on top of Waluigi's tank. K. Rool scratched Waluigi's face, then picked him up, throwing him to the wall. Before he could get up, K. Rool held him up against the wall, his face bloodied, and wound up a punch. "What tricks will you pull to get yourself out of this one, Racket?" He asked him, mockingly.
Waluigi began to laugh and pointed up to the sky. Upon looking up, K. Rool saw the Halberd overhead, ready to take off. While he wasn't looking, Waluigi kicked K. Rool in the head, making him let go, and ran away, still laughing.
"What is going on?!" K. Rool screamed, as the Halberd's jets powered on, blowing all manner of exhaust into the dome.
Meta Knight stopped chasing Oxide and looked up at the Halberd, confused. After beating all the crowd members left, the crew looked up too, confused as well.
A loud roar rang out.
"What the hell was that?" K. Rool asked, staring at the idle Halberd.
The tennis court returned to its position, closing up the lava pool. A large, metal container was dropped from the Halberd into the center of it, as the Halberd flew off into the starry sky. The crew all got closer to the container, trying to figure out what it was. Boney got close and knocked on the thing. Suddenly, the container burst open, and a massive cyborg dragon beast came flying out of it, roaring.
"FUCK." Everyone shouted collectively.
"Everybody, RUN!" K. Rool screamed, running for cover. The crew ran around the stadium while Ridley flew around them all, roaring loudly and preparing to attack.
"You guys escape, I'll distract it!" Oxide began shooting at Ridley, trying to get his attention. His laser blasts barely singed one of the cyberdragon's wings, and after Ridley turned around, it began to follow Oxide through the skies, unable to catch up thanks to the max turbo on Oxide's vehicle.
"We have to get out of here, NOW!" K. Rool picked up Augusto while DK got Squawks, and they all ran for the exit. The crew ran past the Koopa soldiers in tanks, who were rushing to the court to attack Ridley instead of trying to stop them.
"Do we have a way out?!" asked Candy Kong.
"We can only hope!" said Mumbo.
"...wait, you're right, how are we getting out of here?!" K. Rool realized that the ride they'd used to get onto the island in the first place was now being used to kite a massive space dragon around. Unless a miracle presented itself, they had no way out.
But then, Donkey Kong beat his chest and made a loud call out to sea. Suddenly, a wave of swordfishes swam over to the group (including Enguarde, DK's Animal Buddy), and without a second's delay, the crew all hopped on their backs and swam away from the Isle of Death.
Despite their apparent safety, K. Rool couldn't shake the feeling that they were forgetting something. He turned back and saw tons of explosions at the court as Ridley tore free from the dome and started flying around the island. K. Rool squinted, and saw that Oxide and Meta Knight were working together to distract Ridley while the Koopas shot at him with their tanks. He could just make out Ridley's agony roars from how far away they were from the island. Donkey Kong turned around on Enguarde and pulled out his trusty Coconut Gun. He aimed right at Ridley while he was flying, and fired. The swordfishes swam back around the Isle, giving a better view of the battle as it was going on. "You're gonna wanna see this one," Donkey Kong remarked.
Then, right as Ridley came into view, the coconut DK shot hit one of his wings, tearing it and making him fall. Ridley tried desperately to fly with only one wing, but was only barely successful.
K. Rool smiled. "That's one HELLUVA coconut, I'll tell you what!"
"Hey, you two, let's scram!" screamed the tiny Augusto at Oxide and Meta Knight.
Oxide quickly came flying in above them, with Meta Knight following close behind. They all made their way through the seas toward DK Island, but alas, Ridley was not done with them yet, and was now pursuing them across the ocean, his jaws aflame.
"SHIT!" K. Rool shouted, looking back in terror.
DK turned back with his Coconut Gun once again, and aimed it directly at Ridley's head. "Here's a healthy meal, ya big birdie!" He said, pulling the trigger. The coconut smacked Ridley right in the eye, making him roar and fall down into the water, sinking while making waves from his constant movement.
"Learn your place." Boney pointed down into the water where Ridley had fallen.
However, that was not the last of Ridley. Being a cybernetically enhanced space dragon, he was outfitted with a self-destruct mechanism in case something should go horribly awry. Sure enough, being several feet underwater, on top of all the wounds he had sustained in the battle, was enough to trip this mechanism. The crew heard a loud "BOOM", and just like that, a massive tidal wave emerged behind them, launching them screaming all the way to the nearest beach on DK Island.
Everyone slowly got up as they came to their senses. The sun was now rising on a peaceful DK Island, its leader restored at last. The swordfishes flopped their way back into the water, and swam back out to sea.
Boney got up and poured the sand out of his skull. "That. Was. THE BEST!"
The rest of the crew got up and shook their heads. "Woohoo!" cheered Candy, throwing her arms in the air.
"Don't celebrate now, they got away," said Augusto on K. Rool's shoulder. "And I'm still small."
"He's right, they were able to get away," DK reminded them. "Next time, it won't be so easy for us."
K. Rool looked over at Mumbo. "Hey, skull mask, don't think you're getting away without fixing my pal first!"
Mumbo shrugged. "Spell will only wear out in few hours. Nothing Mumbo can do about it."
"Suddenly, my advice for finding a way to cancel spells earlier sounds useful," Humba interjected.
Mumbo looked away. "Me no want talk to you."
K. Rool grunted and looked over at Oxide, who was just standing over his destroyed spaceship that crash-landed after the wave. He put his hand on Oxide's shoulder. "Sorry, Oxide."
"Wow, what man for Humba," Mumbo whispered to himself.
Oxide looked up and stomped over to Mumbo, lifting him up by the neck. "Listen, bud. That car and that woman are the only things good in my life, and now I only have one. If you don't have somewhere else better to be, then I suggest you shutting that mouth of yours." He put Mumbo down, who took a step back and looked down silently.
The crew walked over to Squawks, who was now writhing on the sand, barely breathing. "Put Squawks somewhere he can rest…" Candy said somberly. DK nodded, held the poor bird in his arms, and started to walk to his treehouse. Everyone followed him except for Meta Knight, who instead stayed at the beach and stared at the Halberd, flying away in the distance.
"You coming?" K. Rool asked him.
Meta Knight didn't respond, instead opening his wings and taking to the sky, following his vaunted ship.
The crew all followed DK into his treehouse, where he put Squawks down on a little bird nest by the window. Humba knelt down in front of Squawks, and performed the same ritual she used to revive Boney earlier.
Squawks opened his eyes, slowly, trying to make sense of everything. "Where… what…?"
K. Rool turned to Donkey Kong. "Animal buddy, I presume."
DK nodded. "Yes." He turned back to Squawks. "You okay, buddy?"
"Yeah, yeah. They hit me right in the bird brain," Squawks squawked, pounding the side of his head with his wing.
"Take some time off, we'll teach them not to mess with you." Donkey Kong turned back to face K. Rool, extending his right hand.
K. Rool didn't know if he was ready for this. He had been trying to destroy the Kongs for years, and their rivalry ran blood-deep at this point. Still, if they were to have any hope of destroying Racket and foiling the Boss' plan, they were going to need to work together. K. Rool extended his right claw, and shook hands with DK.
DK smiled. "Thanks for the last second rescue."
K. Rool smiled in kind. "Nobody's gonna destroy you before me, Kong."
"Wouldn't have it any other way!" DK laughed.
"Not to ruin the moment, but, uh… there are two evil overlords free right now, probably planning our demise as we speak," Boney piped up.
K. Rool released his grip and scratched his chin. "Hey, bone man, is there anything else you know about Racket's plans?"
Boney shrugged. "Not much other than what I already said, he's slowly taking everyone out of the picture to strike Boss when he least expects it. That said, I guarantee that this minor setback with Ridley will have him change his plans a bit."
"How so?" Augusto asked.
"Probably their best weapon yet, and it failed. He'll have to wait until Boss is secure with his plan, otherwise he'll be easily caught. Boss is extremely paranoid."
K. Rool put his hand on his chin. "We need to think of something, we can't be distracted."
"Yes we can." Squawks turned on the TV in Donkey Kong's house. It was airing the news.
"News Flash: recently, it was discovered that the rookie boxer who knowingly murdered King Hippo last night has a history of being a war criminal! Mayor Pauline has already alerted President Nester about the criminal's visit. The President has declared a bounty for anyone who can bring 'Krusha Rool' back to our country, and have him pay for his crimes."
The TV turned off.
The rest of the crew looked back at K. Rool awkwardly.
"...you guys aren't going to… you know."
"No," everyone said collectively.
K. Rool breathed a sigh of relief, but thinking of his time in New Donk reminded him of another important matter. "Oh, right, the golden banana thing."
"Oh, right!" Humba exclaimed.
K. Rool turned to DK. "DK, could you please give her a golden banana? She needs it to summon a thing or something."
"Sure," DK replied, and headed down the ladder to the banana horde underneath his house. He emerged from the horde holding a golden banana, which he handed to Humba.
Humba held the banana in her hands, marveling at it for a few seconds before putting it in her pouch. "Later, we have a bigger threat."
"You still holding on to wrong ritual?" Mumbo scoffed.
"I thought you said you didn't want to talk to me," Humba mocked. Mumbo looked over his shoulder, but didn't respond.
K. Rool had a sudden epiphany, and held up a scaly finger. "Shut up, wait… I think I know how we can end them before they end us."
"Well, spit it out!" said Oxide.
"We need a weapon, a big one. A BIG, BIG ONE."
"What weapon could be big enough for that giant ship?" asked Tiny Augusto.
K. Rool grinned. "The Blast-o-Matic."
"The what?" DK asked.
"It's a big laser I wanted to build, before I got roped into this mess. I left the blueprints at my swamp house. I know a nerd who can build it in no time."
"Oh, Snide," Augusto recalled. "He'll only help us because he owes you one."
"A deal's a deal, and he's going to be on our side whether he likes it or not." K. Rool started towards the door. "I'm getting the blueprints back at my place. Augusto, you and DK get that weasel's ass in this treehouse by the time I come back."
"Got it," they both replied.
K. Rool left the treehouse and began wandering through the jungle in search of the nearest swampland. He wasn't the most familiar with the lay of the land, seeing as he didn't live here, but before long, he found the swamp adjacent to Kongo Jungle where his beach hut was. He found his house mostly the same as how he'd left it, although it seemed as though someone had been there before him. This wasn't a big surprise to K. Rool, as he tended to leave his beach house unattended for long stretches of time. He just hoped those blueprints were still right where he'd left them…
K. Rool found the desk that he'd left all his papers on and saw that everything was still in order, save for one paper that was gone. He took no notice of this, however, and instead rummaged through the chaotic mess of papers until he found them: the blueprints for the Blast-o-Matic, as haphazard and illegible as always. Without further delay, K. Rool rolled the prints up, tucked them under his arm, and started back to DK's tree hut.
"I'm back!" K. Rool hollered as he climbed up the ladder to DK's house, blueprints in claw.
"Where's the blueprints?" Oxide asked.
"I got them right here." K. Rool flaunted the rolled-up blueprints. "Has Donkey Kong returned yet?"
"No, but I'm sure he'll be here soon."
This left K. Rool with a bit of time to talk with his newfound allies. He started with the two shamans, standing awkwardly in opposite corners of the room, occasionally making scornful glances at each other. "You know, what even is this demon you two summoners wanted to bring?"
Humba and Mumbo remained silent for a second.
"It's just shaman stuff," Humba finally replied, with Mumbo nodding.
K. Rool looked puzzled. "Elaborate?"
"You no want to know." Mumbo shook his head abruptly.
"Indeed," Humba added.
K. Rool crossed his arms. "Fine, you can do whatever ritual you want after we clean those two nerds from that ship."
"They say you don't want to know, and I wouldn't question somebody who knows how to bring the dead back," Oxide told K. Rool.
Boney nodded in agreement.
K. Rool grunted. "Alright. Guess it's just a waiting game until those two bring Snide, so we can start talking some blasting."
After a while, DK and Augusto (now in his normal state) returned with an orange weasel wearing an open blue suit following behind.
"Evening, Rool." The weasel turned up his nose.
"Evening, Snide." K. Rool tipped his crown toward the weasel, not entirely out of respect.
"I believe that I wasn't brought here by force without reason."
"Indeed," K. Rool responded with a smirk on his face. "You're the missing piece in our current plan. We need your help to build something."
"Oh?" Snide tweaked his whiskers a bit.
"We're going to build a giant laser, I call it the Blast-o-Matic. I need your help to build it, Mr. Engineer."
Snide looked at Rool with an interest in his eye. "I see… so this involves building an automatic laser turret that can be piloted from a distance?"
"Not exactly. We'll build a large castle-like structure around it to grab our enemy's attention, and fire with a giant laser beam at them, destroying them like they're pests!"
"Interesting," Snide remarked, scratching his head. He pondered for a few seconds before clapping his hands together. "This could be very dangerous. I'm in."
A light cheer rippled out among the crew. "We'll help in any way we can," K. Rool said. "Wanna see the blueprints?"
"Yes, I'd love to."
K. Rool laid out the blueprints for all to see. Everyone else just looked puzzled and/or disgusted, but Snide looked at them briefly and nodded. "This'll take a while, but if we give it enough effort, it'll work. What would you use to power the laser cannon, again?"
Hum. K. Rool hadn't actually thought about that; he'd hoped Snide would be able to answer that question. "Um. Anyone got any suggestions?"
"Amount of crystals required to power such big machine way too big," said Mumbo.
"Golden bananas are only used for magic," said Humba.
"I don't have enough fuel in my car to make it work," said Oxide.
"Hmm," Snide closed his eyes, deep in thought. "If we built it on top of flowing water, perhaps we could make a hydraulic energy system? That's all I can think of."
"We'll do it!" K. Rool pumped his fists. There was lots of water to build the Blast-o-Matic around, and he was thinking of building it just off the coast of DK Island anyway.
"I can use some stone and metal from my leftovers to build it, but I'm afraid the rest of the materials will be quite expensive," explained Snide.
K. Rool scoffed. "That's fine, we just got rich off of a boxing bet!"
Augusto tapped K. Rool's shoulder. "Uh, sir, we never collected our money from the betting house."
"...shit."
K. Rool and the others stood around in silence for a second, awkwardly.
"...well, I guess we're gonna have to go back and get it, then!" K. Rool pointed skyward.
"Looks like it," sighed Augusto.
Oxide interrupted the conversation. "You rascals are gonna need someone to cover you up. I'll risk it."
"We'll try to be sneaky, but we'll need to be armed regardless," Augusto reminded.
K. Rool lowered his brow. "Augusto, bring me my Blunderbuss."
"Yes, sir. I'll be right back." Augusto departed, and walked away through the trees.
"Oxide, is your gun loaded?"
"Yes. I fast-charged it before I saved Kong's life."
"Good. You're gonna need it."
Augusto returned, holding K. Rool's Blunderbuss in one hand and a loaded shotgun in the other.
"Good work, Augusto! Say, uhh, where did you get that?" K. Rool pointed to the shotgun.
"Don't ask, sir."
K. Rool eyed Augusto up warily. "Uhh, alright. Well, we need to get to New Donk City."
"My ride's busted, so that's no hope," Oxide bemoaned.
Snide rubbed his chin. "Maybe I can see if I can fix it?"
"Let's go get it, shall we?" K. Rool, Augusto, and Oxide made their way down the beach to where the wreckage was, only to find that the leftovers of Oxide's ship were gone without a trace. They all gasped in confusion.
"It was right here! What happened?!" Oxide shouted.
"Somebody just snatched a spaceship and left without a footprint. Great," Augusto exclaimed, looking around for clues.
"We'll just have to think of something else for now." K. Rool crossed his arms, disappointed.
"The moment we're done with this mission, you better help me find my car." Oxide pointed at K. Rool aggressively.
"Is there anybody else who has something we can use to fly our way there...?" Augusto thought aloud.
"We can ask if anyone back there has a way to get us there, perhaps." K. Rool pointed back toward DK's hut. They all returned to the crew, no ship at hand. "It wasn't there anymore."
Snide looked at K. Rool, still holding the blueprints. "Why not take one of the flying barrel thingies? DK just told me about them." DK nodded.
"Flying barrels…?"
"Follow me." Donkey Kong led K. Rool, Oxide, and Augusto over to Funky's house, which had a single barrel plane parked outside. "Just hop in, it's easy to pilot."
K. Rool recognized this as the device Funky had carried DK and the other Kongs up to his airship in just a few days prior. Oh, how things had changed… just the other day, he was holding Candy Kong hostage in his own castle, demanding that Donkey Kong surrender to him (and it worked, too!). Now, he had no castle, no minions, no real power at all. And he found himself working with his arch-nemesis just for a chance to survive. But K. Rool knew for certain that things would go back to normal when this was all over. He would build a new castle, get new minions, and soon, he and DK would be duking it out like it was old times. And that hope was exactly what kept him going.
K. Rool hopped in the plane with Oxide and Augusto, who sat in the pilot seat. "I got this," he said confidently.
K. Rool turned his head over to DK. "Don't you wanna come with us, ape?"
"No, I think you should be good enough to go off on your own." DK waved with a smile on his face.
"If you say so. New Donk City, here we come!" K. Rool made sure their guns were loaded as Augusto turned the plane on. The three of them took off, with Oxide guiding Augusto to New Donk using coordinates.
Hours later, as dusk fell over them, the trio finally flew over New Donk, landing the plane discreetly in a dark alleyway. They poked their heads out of the alleyway, seeing surprisingly empty streets. "I thought we were wanted criminals," Augusto muttered. Sure enough, in the alleyway hung wanted posters for K. Rool, Augusto, Dr. Harmony, and a fourth man named "Ed".
K. Rool pointed to one of the posters. "Who the hell's Ed?"
Augusto sighed. "That's the man who runs the betting house."
"Do we need him to get the money?"
"I sure hope not."
K. Rool grunted, brandishing his Blunderbuss. "Just say where the betting house is and we'll loot the place."
"We'll have to walk two blocks down, keep your guns up." Augusto cocked his shotgun.
The three of them walked down the block slowly with their guns ready. The streets seemed dark and empty, as if the city had become deserted. After a while, they found the betting house and got in.
Augusto looked around. "I'll see if I can find Ed anywhere in here, or the money itself."
"I'll watch the door to see if anybody's coming." Oxide stationed himself right by the door.
"Alright," K. Rool said, following loosely behind Augusto with his Blunderbuss at the ready.
Augusto entered an unlocked room, and walked back out immediately. "Don't go in there."
K. Rool frowned, and entered the room anyway. Upon entering, he found that the room was filled with more money than they needed… but he also found a small man in a blue suit hanging from the ceiling with a noose. Ed, he presumed. K. Rool scowled at the ghastly sight. "Just get the money and let's get out of here."
"Poor bastard didn't even get to see his firstborn," Augusto muttered, a tear escaping his eye.
K. Rool and Augusto solemnly picked up the money in the room and returned to Oxide, all the money inside their bags. "Anyone out there?" K. Rool asked.
"I don't see or hear anyone," replied Oxide. "You two stay here, I'll go out and check."
"Why you?"
"Probably because I'm not a wanted criminal."
"Right."
Oxide went out to check, while K. Rool and Augusto stayed behind in the building. They heard Oxide having a conversation with someone outside; they dropped the bags of money and pulled out their guns in case any stranger entered the place.
The door flew open with the body of a large rooster in a cop outfit falling in front of them, a hole in his head. "Officer Drumstick", his nametag read, barely visible as the cop lay dead on the floor.
"Told him not to get in," said Oxide, holding his gun.
"Good job, genius, you just killed a police officer!" K. Rool exclaimed.
"Not something I'm proud of. Let's get out of here." Oxide began to make his way out the door.
K. Rool and Augusto picked up their money bags and made their way back to the alleyway, until they heard a voice calling from behind.
"You give me my money back, or I'm afraid the three of you will have to be executed this weekend."
They turned around and saw a portly bear in a full-body suit and a monocle pointing a rifle at them. "We don't need to make this any more difficult," he said.
"This money isn't yours, you already have your own money. Why don't you go be a shit landlord somewhere else?" Oxide asked, aiming his laser gun at Moneybags.
"I came here to take my cut from Ed, but I see that you've already done that for me." Moneybags aimed his rifle directly at Oxide.
"Ed killed himself, and this was our bet money, anyway. Get lost, asshole." Augusto clapped back.
"He killed himself?" Moneybags gave himself a quick giggle. "That's the one thing he's ever done right!"
"Fuck. Off." Oxide pressed his finger against the trigger, ready to fire.
"You really think that killing the most powerful person in town will make your situation any easier? You really want to risk turning this city into hell on Earth for some paper?" said Moneybags, mockingly.
K. Rool dropped his bag of money and held out his Blunderbuss, aiming it at Moneybags. "I have no reason as to why I shouldn't shoot you, so I'm just going to take this money with us, and that's final."
Moneybags sighed. "Very well, then." Moneybags then aimed his rifle and shot Augusto in the leg, making him fall to the ground and drop his money. Oxide quickly reacted by shooting Moneybags in the head, killing him instantly.
"Get him, we gotta get the fuck out of here." Oxide picked up the bags of money while K. Rool held Augusto over his shoulder. The both of them quickly ran to the plane, got in, and took off.
"That… cunt… shot me." Augusto sputtered, laying down weak inside the barrel plane.
"Don't go into the light, I did not give you permission to die today!" K. Rool leaned over Augusto's bleeding body.
"Can't…" Augusto groaned. "I'm… horribly wounded."
Suddenly, the plane flew over the center of town, where everyone saw them up in the sky. Cops shone their flashlights up at them, and civilians leaned out their apartment windows to see what the ruckus was about. They all recognized K. Rool and started shouting at him, but the trio were able to fly away before they could fire anything at them.
After a long wait, the three finally arrived back at the island. Augusto was still heavily wounded, albeit with the hole in his leg patched up with dollar bills. The three of them took the bags of money out and made their way back to the treehouse where Snide and the others were waiting, K. Rool still carrying Augusto over his shoulder.
"So?" Snide asked.
K. Rool dropped the bags of money in front of him, causing his jaw to drop. "This thing better be the best damn thing you've built in your whole life."
Snide picked up one of the money bags, opened it, and held a wad of cash up to his nose, sniffing it euphorically. "This'll be more than enough."
"I can only hope they don't track our location," K. Rool muttered, looking off into the horizon.
"They'll definitely try and find us with helicopters and things like that," Augusto added, still weak from getting shot.
"Nobody better disturb my home," Donkey Kong growled.
K. Rool looked back at his crew soberly. "Alright. Let's get building!"
Everybody nodded.
They all started bringing metal from Snide's place and leftover material from the ruined Kremling castle, taking it all to a large beach to the side of DK Island. While the rest of the group began building the main structure, K. Rool and Snide started working on the laser cannon together. Hours passed, and K. Rool and Snide had finished assembling the cannon, though it still needed some wiring, some testing, and some finishing touches to be made. The rest of the crew seemed to be close to finishing the Blast-o-Matic, whose building was made with ease thanks to the magic of the two shamans. They all slept until morning.
In the morning, they all woke up and resumed their work, finishing the Blast-o-Matic and bringing the laser cannon to the top, wiring it and confirming it was on.
"Shall we test fire?" Snide asked, devilishly.
K. Rool nodded, but what to test fire on, exactly? There weren't many visible landmarks around, and he couldn't exactly fire it at DK Island (not yet, anyway). But then, K. Rool had a nasty idea. He grinned wide. "We'll fire at the Isle of Death."
"Good choice!" Snide replied excitedly.
Everyone else left the Blast-o-Matic, leaving K. Rool and Snide alone inside. Snide turned the wheel on the control system, shifting the tower in the general direction of the island. K. Rool took out his spyglass and looked out into the distance in search of the Isle of Death. After a quick stare, he found it, its iconic rounded mountains having been reduced to one, and aimed the cannon at it despite being far away. Without hesitation, K. Rool pressed the big red button that said "FIRE".
The hydraulic systems started moving with the flow of seawater, and they could hear the thing powering on. The laser turned on, and within a matter of seconds, fired a massive beam directly at the island, blowing its single mountain to pieces and sending them flying into the sea. The cannon stopped its blast, and when K. Rool took another look through his eyeglass, the top half of the mountain was completely gone.
K. Rool smirked. "Snide, could you do me a favor?"
"Yes, Rool?"
"Send a message in the air, a signal. 'Dear Boss: I lived, you damn dirty ape.'"
"Ohoho, right on it, sir!" Snide left the room, leaving K. Rool alone to marvel at the destruction he had wrought.
K. Rool stared at the blown-up island with a twisted grin, feeling satisfied. He put his spyglass away, and began laughing villainously.