CHAPTER FOUR HUNDRED THIRTREEN
Standing slightly towards the back of the 'young people' group, Yuri kept his eyes on the older members. It was hard, if not impossible, to hear what was being whispered between the pair, but given their body language, it was clear that a lot was being said. It wasn't long before Yurio grabbed his attention back though, tugging on his coat-sleeve as he started walking away.
"Come on already, we gotta go get Potya." The blonde commented, "She's been in a crate for half a day."
Yuri turned his head, somewhat surprised, "You couldn't keep her in the cabin with you?"
"There wasn't a seat available to put her in. The old man tried to get one for her, but the flights were all booked completely by the time we knew I was bringing her to Hasetsu."
"Even in Economy?"
"Shockingly." Yurio said, exasperated by the fact, "It was unbelievable. I tried to suggest we put Nikki into cargo instead so Potya could be up in the cabin with us, but Mikhail said no."
"I said no." Nikki argued, arms crossed and a sour look on her face.
"I don't think you can put people into cargo..." Yuri contested, giving a dry but coy glance at the Russian Punk, "We have to put Makkachin down there just because he's too big to keep in the cabin. Jiro can stay with us though. I think he's too young to put in the hold..."
Yurio blinked at him through a deadpan, "...You sound like you're going somewhere, talking about your new puppy like that."
The older figure felt the blood drain from his face, Oh crap... And we hadn't said anything to anyone because we were so worried someone would tell Kon and ruin the surprise... We were already nervous that Minako-sensei knew... He blinked and shook his head though, I guess it doesn't matter now...
"I can't wait to see him in person!" Nikki suddenly called out, practically sparing the man from having to divulge anything, "The pics you've posted on Insta are so cute!"
Yurio nudged the girl with an accusing, stiff finger, "You're spending too much time on Instagram."
She turned and gave him a sly look, "You're just salty still that I'm talking to Otabek."
Yuri quirked a brow, "You talk to Otabek online?"
Nikki was aghast at his question, "Why is everyone so weird about that!?"
"I'm not being weird about it," Yuri contested, "I'm just surprised. Even I'm not on his account."
"That's cuz you're barely a presence of your own online," Yurio explained, "You practically share an account with Viktor these days, and Otabek's not friends with Viktor."
"Oh...I guess that's true."
"Where is Viktor?" Nikki wondered, realizing suddenly that the man wasn't even around, "You and him are practically tied at the hip."
"Oh, he stayed back in Hasetsu. The fuzzballs have a vet appointment today."
"Really? Why?" Both teens asked at the same time.
Yuri leaned his head back, "Yeesh, you guys really are like siblings." He reached up to adjust his glasses, "Jiro is getting his 2-week boosters. We're...also getting travel papers for them."
"...Travel papers?" The blonde echoed, "Why? Where are you guys going?"
Hesitantly, the older figure leaned forward and spoke behind his hand, looking aside towards Minako and Mikhail briefly to make sure they weren't about to interrupt or eavesdrop, "We're gonna go crash Euros, but Viktor also wants to visit his father first, so we're gonna surprise him over the weekend."
Nikki looked a bit disappointed, "...When are you leaving?"
"Friday morning."
She sulked even more then, crossing her arms, "Of course you're leaving almost as soon as we get here."
"Gomen." (Sorry.)
"Guys, let's go," Viktoria suddenly interrupted, noticing the elder units coming to some unheard agreement, disengaging from the moment to start walking. She thumbed at them as the pair stepped past and turned her eyes to Yurio, "Let's go rescue your kee-cat."
.
Waking up on a couch with the smell of dog in his nostrils, Asahi could be forgiven for feeling like he'd just roused from a very strange, long, and heartbreaking nightmare. However, as his eyes adjusted, he realized that his surroundings weren't what he'd been expecting; it wasn't Riku's small apartment. It was a house, one he was only barely familiar with...but the dog he had his arms around...that was a stark callback to that apartment in question.
"...H-Hana...?"
The pale, fluffy head lifted up and turned, dark, almond-shaped eyes blinking at him. A pink tongue emerged to lick the man's face, and he recoiled slightly under it, worried briefly that she was actually about to bite him, but then relaxed when no teeth came.
Asahi collapsed back into the Hokkaido-ken's fur, even as the dog twisted in his grasp to lie on her front, sticking her nose into his hair. She held there perfectly still for a few minutes, but lifted her head again to look aside, sensing something coming before the skater did in his sleepy haze.
He was shaken awake rather worryingly though as the feeling of a low rumble vibrated through the dog's body; she was growling at something.
[So you're taking his side now, too?] Hayate's voice sounded, [Seems like everyone in this family is turning traitor...]
Asahi lifted his head off the pillow to look over the dog's shoulders, seeing Riku's younger brother there looking back at him rather accusingly. He barely had a second to process the figure before the next abrupt and loud noise caught him by surprise, and a series of heavy thuds sounded from the floor directly in front of the couch he was lying on.
[Here's the damn skates you want so bad. I hope you're happy now.] Hayate said bitterly, then turned on a heel and stepped out of the house entirely, leaving not but a shockingly cold draft in his wake as the door closed behind him.
The growling stopped, and Hana's fur started to settle again from where it had bristled like porcupine quills. She fidgeted forward though, drooping her head off the edge of the couch to smell at the boots that had been thrown there. A quiet whine came from her then, and she got up from her spot, only to lie down on the floor facing the blades instead. Asahi pushed up onto an elbow, nervous to look at the items, but caught sight of them sooner than he'd meant to. One was nearly upright where it leaned against the other. Seeing the pair of skating boots made his chest hurt, but he pushed all the way up to sitting and turned his legs off the edge, and reached to pull one of the blades up onto his lap.
They were the same style he himself wore, with Revolution blades rather than the standard, but Riku's were all chrome, and the boots were polished walnut-brown leather, though the shoe-shine had all-but faded long ago.
He took care of these like they were military issued... It's horrible to see them in this condition.
Closer inspection yielded the possible reason for why the shine had been allowed to lose its luster; the boots were scuffed, cut in places, the laces broken, and in the case of the second skate, the blade itself had been bent.
All Asahi could do was collapse back into the couch cushions and cover his mouth, then his eyes.
Riku had his skates in his backpack, in the foot-well in front of his seat... They must've been damaged with the impact...
Hana set her head on his knees, nosing at where one hand was close-by holding onto the boot. She licked his fingers to try and get his attention, though failed, and instead resorted to jumping back up onto the couch with the man, leaning against him heavily as she sat.
[Oh...he brought them...] A man's voice came unexpectedly.
Asahi drew a breath and looked up, seeing Riku's father there, having just come up the hall from the bedrooms in the back of the house. The man was fully ready for the day already, his slim frame dressed cleanly with slacks, a thin sweater, and a thicker wool vest overtop.
[I hope he didn't wake you up.]
The skater shook his head sullenly, [No... I was already awake...]
[Did you sleep at all?]
He rubbed the side of his forehead with the inside of one wrist, but shook his head, [I'm honestly not sure... My sleep has been pretty disturbed since the accident. It...comes in fits and starts.]
[I can imagine. Nightmares?]
[Sometimes.] Asahi answered, eyes returning to the beaten-up boots before him. He drew a sighed breath, [I'm glad I was able to see these. I'm...not sure that I could take them, even if they were offered though. I hope it makes sense...that I would prefer to remember the good times, not the end.]
[No, I understand...] The elder agreed, [It's impossible to find a way forward when you're held down by the past.]
Asahi nodded quietly, and rubbed his nose on his shoulder.
[Back then, you two were on your way to tell your family about things, was it?]
[Yessir...]
[Are they bad about it?] The older man wondered, stepping around into the kitchen to put on the morning coffee pot, [I struggled to accept my son's preferences for a long time. He was so sure of himself, even from a young age...it's like he knew, even before he knew what it meant.]
Asahi turned his eyes slightly, looking past Hana's fluff to watch the elder's shadow on the floor and wall.
[But he was always such a happy, charming kid. He didn't know what the world was like; how people looked down on the things he was growing into.] Mr. Itō continued, filling a glass carafe with water to pour into the coffee maker, [Instead of trying to beat the gay out of him, I taught him how to protect himself...how to be assertive and confident, so he could stand up to the pressures he might face from others. I thought, if there was any chance that the world might try to take him out or knock him down just for being who he was...he ought to be prepared for it. I'll bet...it was even his idea that you confront your own family about it, right?]
.
"...I won't tell anyone. It'll be our secret."
Asahi could do little more than stare blankly over Riku's shoulder, the wall behind him seeming miles away. The hug was starting to calm him though, even as his heart raced in his chest. His arms felt like logs at his sides, limp and lifeless, but after a few seconds, he felt the soft stroke of a cheek against his neck, and he felt the spark of life running to the tips of each of his fingers, letting him move again. Those hands wedged between them though, and Asahi pushed the smaller figure away, at least enough to see his face again, "...You...have to swear it..."
Those gold-flecked eyes widened in hopeful surprise, but Riku nodded, "On my life, I swear it."
.
Asahi swallowed nervously, feeling his throat clench up a little, but he nodded in confirmation, [I was...terrified of anyone knowing. Even when Riku confronted me about it, I was scared to admit that he was right about me. He promised that he would never tell...and because of it...after he died, I felt like it was my fault.] He felt a few tears collecting in the corners of his eyes, but he did better to hold them there, [Because we were on our way to tell my family about us, it was...like karma was coming back around to remind us of that promise, and how it was being broken. Riku swore on his life, and so...he lost it.]
Mr. Itō held still for a moment, hands curled around the edge of the tile counter. The coffee maker was starting to sputter as water heated up inside, dripped into the grounds, and filtered dark caramel-brown liquid into the pitcher beneath the spout. He drew in a deep breath, and came around the corner to better see the athlete, [Two years is a long time to hold onto guilt over coincidence and circumstances. Ever since we realized Riku was who and what he was, I've heard people tell me that 'things like that happen for a reason.' I get so tired of hearing that, you know? As though Riku's life was nothing more than a cautionary tale to the rest of us. But I'm a firm believer...that accidents are just accidents. You didn't do anything wrong...it's not your fault that your car and another collided. It's not your fault that Riku passed, nor is it a judgment that you survived when he didn't...and the whole thing didn't happen because of any broken promises. It just...happened. Things in life happen that no one can predict or prepare for, and we just...have to keep on living.]
Asahi was without words. He could only blink in surprised silence.
[I want you to forgive yourself, Asahi Saito. For my son's sake...and for yours.]
.
The sun was clearer than it had been the day before, but being Hokkaido in the middle of winter, it was still fairly overcasted, and the morning air was foggy. When the car stopped, Asahi quietly stepped out, skates in his hands and Hana at his heels. It hurt his heart to see the graveyard again so soon, but he couldn't bear the thought of leaving Wakkanai without saying goodbye. This time, at least, he knew exactly where to go.
Both of Riku's parents followed at a short distance as they made their way through the terraces and snow towards the family grave-marker. To no one's surprise, Hayate was there already, braving the cold without the rest, as though trying to get a word in edgewise before anyone could tattle on him for his earlier behavior. Snow crunched under Asahi's boots as he walked the long path; Hana kept close to his side, blending in with the frost but for the honey-colored accents on her ears and back. By the time they'd arrived at the grave, Hayate had taken a step back, grudgingly letting them closer in silence.
Asahi turned himself to face the stone monument quietly, clutching the broken boots in his hands as the weight of everything sunk in all over again. He waited a moment, but then spoke softly, [...If there was anything I could've done to save him, I would've.] He explained, [I've thought a thousand times that I would've gladly taken his place if it meant he'd survive.]
[Same.]
Unsure what that meant, Asahi turned his eyes, then his face, towards the younger figure.
[I would've gladly died in his place, I mean. Not that you should've.] Hayate corrected, snuffling into his scarf, [...I've had two years to sort out my grief over him dying, but no matter what I do, or how much time passes, it still hurts the same. I thought it would be easier if I blamed you for it because you were there when it happened...but it didn't help at all.]
[...I don't think it ever gets better.] Asahi answered simply, [Maybe we just get numb to the surprise that it happened at all.] He added, then turned slightly and stepped a bit closer, holding the boots out towards the younger man, [Thank you for letting me see these one last time.]
[So you're leaving now.]
He nodded, teal tails in his hair waving slightly in a light breeze, [I need to finish the journey that Riku and I started. I...I've put it off for too long. I need to finally see it through to the end.]
[...Yeah...] The younger man lowered his gaze, eyes on the skates still held out to him. After a moment, he turned and accepted them back, feeling an odd sense of relief washing over him to have them in his hands again, [...Thanks.]
[It's not the objects that Riku once owned that keep his spirit alive.] Asahi explained quietly, [It's us...the people he knew, the people he loved, and who loved him back.]
Hayate looked from the boots to the man who'd returned them, feeling the tears freezing on his cheeks...but he nodded, [...Yeah...]
The older figure reached one hand out and pat the man's shoulder, but then turned back towards the gravestone. He crouched down in front of the smaller marker that was set there specifically for Riku, and dusted off the new snow that had fallen since Hayate had gotten there. Without a thought, he bent all the way down and kissed the top of the stone.
You may be gone, Riku, my dawn...but I will never, ever forget, even unto dusk and night.