Say you won't let go

I'm so in love with you

And I hope you know

Darling your love is more

Than worth its weight in gold

Thorfinn was worried. Hermione had barely spoken two words after the altercation in the sun room. He had quickly led her away, eager to put some much needed space between his witch and her supposed friends. He had expected some kind of outburst but all he got was silence. He watched as she simply got back into their bed rolled over and looked at him with wide eyes.

"I take it you don't want to talk about it?" he had asked. She merely shook her head and he sighed in understanding. He walked to the bed, learning over her as she shuffled against his pillow. "Later then," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Hermione held him there for a moment, relishing in having him so close. He sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands through her curls and when she finally looked at him, he gave her a sad knowing smile. She pushed herself up just a little so her head rested against his chest. Hermione felt his touch against her cheek as he rubbed soothingly against her flushed skin. It was the reassurance she needed and so she turned and pressed her face further into his warmth before she released a shuddering breath and soon enough she was choking back on her tears. Thorfinn didn't say a word, he simply wrapped her in his unwavering hold, tucking her head under his chin and he gently soothed her as best he could. There wasn't much he could say in that moment, he knew that. Nothing would take the sting away from what her friends had said and as much as he was angry at them – furiously angry – he knew his only place in that moment was beside his witch. He'd deal with the The – Boy- Who – Lived later. His fists clenched in on themselves when Hermione clutched at him her cries muffled against his chest.

"I…I …" Hermione gasped in between choked cries.

"Ssh," Thorfinn soothed, "Later," he assured her, "Later love."

Reluctantly she nodded but didn't fight him any further when he guided her back against the pillows. Her face was red and blotchy from crying and Thorfinn knew he would never be okay with seeing Hermione this sad and hurt over people who were supposed to be her friends – her family. When he heard her breathing even out, he moved slowly out of the room. He didn't feel much up to seeing his sister or Draco. They would be worried no doubt but he just needed some space. The Weasley's and Potter had said a lot and despite his lack of reaction- only because he knew neither Hermione nor his sister would much appreciate it if he reacted how he really wanted too - Thorfinn had considered each word that had been laid against him very carefully. They had their rights to their opinion of him and he was certain – despite his witch's arguments otherwise – that most would be correct and valid. He would never deny what he was, or more importantly who he had been. The world certainly wasn't going to let him forget it so Thorfinn figured there was no point ignoring it.

Thorfinn had been a Death Eater, and he was a convicted criminal. Nothing would change those facts but the only truth he was concerned over was his current situation with the witch in his bed.

His thoughts took him all the way to the edge of the Manor gardens. It had been his mother's place of comfort. But when she died he could hardly stand the sight of it. Evie had seen to it that the gardens were well taken care for. It wasn't until he was marked that Thorfinn was found solace in his mother's garden again. His mother, despite the tumultuous relationship she had shared with his father and the injustice of her illness had always been a hopeless romantic. She would have loved the idea of Thorfinn being so surely bonded – more so to a woman like Hermione Granger. She would anchor him to this world and show him what it means to be better – she had already done so thus far. As a result of her endless optimism, his mother had sought to create a place that would allow for such ideas to thrive. The Manor had already been spun into darkness through his father's liaisons with the Dark Lord and his inner circle. Thus the garden was created. At the centre of all its lush glory, sat a beautifully and rather ornately decorated pavilion; dressed it purple and white flowers – a favourite of his mother's. Within the pavilion, a cushioned bench edged most of the space while the middle was left open. There were fairy lights and then there were actual fairies all hidden within to create a simply breath-taking view – just as his mother had intended.

Thorfinn sat down on the cushioned seat with a heavy sigh. The peace the garden permeated could not distract from his troublesome thoughts. Though he hated – absolutely hated – that her friends were possibly (most likely) right about how people would react to their relationship it was not what weighed so heavy on his mind.

No, it was the mention of something he hadn't even thought of since well – ever – that had him so lost. Because who would believe that a man like him; a convicted ex-Death Eater would actually get the house, the wife and the child? Who was he to deserve such a happy ending? And with the golden girl of all people. The minute the words were spoken, Thorfinn could see it. A future filled with the images of brown curly- haired – grey eyed children running around the manor; filling it with life, with laughter. And his witch by his side, happy. It was a future he had never dared to dream and so it was something he did not know he wanted. Until now.

He had meant it when he told Hermione he was selfish; selfish enough to keep her even though he probably didn't deserve her. Bonded or not, Thorfinn knew there was nothing, no life without her. He had seen and felt what it was like to have her in is life that there was no going back now. But as much as he loved her, he knew Weasley was right; would people accept them and their children? As much as he wanted them could he really condemn them to a life of being labelled as the spawn of a Death Eater? And Hermione? What would become of the reputation that she had worked so hard to build and maintain? He knew what they would think of her. Worse still he knew what they would call her; Death Eater whore.

He frowned and with a heavy groan buried his head in his hands. He had never been so sure of his feelings for someone like he did Hermione but at the same time it felt oddly cruel that all these repercussions would occur.

"Such a serious face," a voice said causing him to jump in surprise.

Thorfinn looked up and saw, Hermione wrapped in a comfy looking blanket at the entrance of the pavilion. He, with all his war – honed– Death- Eater instincts, had not heard her coming, which could only mean she had intended to surprise him. He smiled at her as she stood there, hair mused a little from slip but her eyes held his firmly. He wondered how she had found him, granted it wouldn't have taken much but he could not recall them ever taking a tour of the gardens.

"I looked for you inside but Evie mentioned you might be out here," Hermione supplied. "She said you liked it out here."

Thorfinn sighed at his sister's words and nodded.

"May I…?" she asked uncertainly looking around the pavilion.

Thorfinn did smile then because in all her cleverness she had realised this place was sacred to both the Rowle siblings and she was asking permission to share in what it meant to them and what it had to offer. Peace. He didn't say anything, instead he merely extended his hand out to her and Hermione quickly ran up the three small steps towards him. Thorfinn grasped her hand firmly in his and pulled her close instantly. She smiled and easily complied when he seated her in his lap, wrapping his arms around her. Hermione pressed a hand to his cheek but the moment she did, her smile fell away. Moving her hands down to his bare shoulders that were visible from the black wife beater he had worn she tsked.

"You're freezing!" she scolded.

Thorfinn shrugged, he hadn't really noticed to be honest. The sun had long since disappeared and the evening chill had settled in its place. He had been out far longer than he thought.

Hermione shrugged off the blanket and then threw it around his shoulders before tucking herself into his hold and pulling the blanket securely around them. Thorfinn rested his chin atop her head as she ensured they were warmth enough.

"Why such a serious face?" she asked him.

Thorfinn had wanted to say it was nothing, to soothe her worries and tell her she had nothing to worry about but he was sure she wouldn't believe that. Too much had happened in the past few hours that such a simple answer would never be the truth. But before he could answer her, Hermione spoke again.

"I hope you're not actually taking what they said seriously." She said resolutely. When he didn't say anything Hermione pulled back immediately looking at him with fire in her eyes, "And I really hope you're not planning on saying something stupid like we should reconsider our relationship or that you still believe you're not worth my love for you simply because of what they said!"

"Is that how you feel?" Thorfinn asked a moment later. She looked at him with a slightly furrowed brow. "Do you love me?" he asked boldly.

He looked at her closely and Hermione could see the hesitance in his eyes. Not at himself but perhaps at believing the truth in her words.

She bit her lip as she considered her answer, "I … I don't want the first time I say those words to be because Harry's interference in our relationship has made me have to reassure you or me of how we feel for each other. When I say it – and I will – I want it to be just for us. I don't want it to be for reassurance sake but when I say it, it will be because all of me will be yours and nothing nor anyone will be able to argue that. But I won't say it now… not under these circumstances."

His hand reached cup and cupped he cheek, gently caressing it as she spoke. His lips turned up ever so slightly at her words. He understood what she meant, what she was asking of him. He would not beg her for it, he would not pull it from her. She would give all of herself when she was ready to and he would wait patiently until she was ready.

"Is… Is that okay?" Hermione asked him slowly.

He tipped her head back, his lips stealing her breath as his lips moved assuredly in time with hers. It was a slow languid kiss that spoke in action rather than words of all the patience he had. Thorfinn Rowle was not by nature a very patient man, but he found that in all matters concerning his soul-bonded, he was willing to be – or at least try.

He pulled away from her, just barely, only for him to run his lips along her cheek. Thorfinn was glad to see that despite it not being a frenzied snog, Hermione was still a little breathless. He felt the gentle touch of her fingers against his beard and instinctively he reached out grasping that hand in his.

"Yes, duchess," he answered turned her hand over and placing a kiss on her wrist right above her pulse point, "that's okay." Hermione smiled and shifted against him to get more comfortable, "But," he continued and immediately she froze, "It doesn't mean they aren't right."

"No, they're not!' Hermione argued crossly. She tried to pull away a little further but he wouldn't allow it.

"Yes, they are." Thorfinn countered calmly. He ran fingers across her cheeks, stopping whatever reply she had, "Have you thought about what would happen to your reputation now that people know?" he asked her.

"I don't care what people think!" she told him firmly.

"But I do!" Thorfinn argued, "I care what people say about you, Hermione. Just look at what Skeeter wrote! And Merlin your friends … despite knowing the whole truth they still hate the idea let alone mere mention of our bond," he reminded her.

Hermione bit her lip hard, fighting back her frustrated tears. He was right but she didn't want him to be.

"Skeeter's words aren't worth anything! Miserable little cockroach!" she finally said bitterly, "And my friends…" she sucked in a breath and shook her heard unable to find a reason for that just yet. A few treacherous tears slipped her iron grip.

"Hermione," Thorfinn said seriously, "What about everything else the little ginger said?" he questioned wiping away her tears with his thumb.

"Which part? She said a lot," Hermione scoffed.

"About our children, Hermione," he answered and Hermione looked at him a little surprised. "She had a point, as much as I hate to admit it. Do you think any children we'd have would be accepted?"

Despite her best intentions and the absurd timing of it all, Hermione smiled at that. "Is that what you've been doing out here in the cold? Thinking about our future children?" she asked almost teasingly.

Thorfinn did chuckle at that, "Yes," he then answered seriously. "But love, the little ginger did have a point. Do you think people will be accepting of children whose father was a Death Eater?"

"Thorfinn –" she started her argument but he stopped her immediately.

"No, Hermione," he said in resignation, "What do you think people are going to say about our children? Do you have any idea what people are going to call you let alone them?" he asked sounding almost panicked. "And what will they think of me? Who's ever going to want a Death Eater as a father? How will they understand any of this without hating me?"

Hermione hated how pained he sounded at that. "Are you saying you don't want children?" she asked a little confused.

"No, of course I do. Merlin I didn't think I ever would want them but I do," he admitted, "But … with you I want it all. It's just… I…."

"You're scared," she noted quietly.

Thorfinn didn't so much like the sound of that but his silence was confirmation enough. He sighed and then looked up at his witch, "She was right Hermione," Thorfinn said barely able to stop his wince at the putrid words, "What sort of life could I possibly give our children? So yes, I'm scared," he said, "I'm scared our children grow up and hate me for what I've done and they'll be right to. I'm scared I won't be good enough."

Hermione placed a chaste kiss on his lips, to stop his doubts from sinking him even further.

"Listen to me Rowle," she said sternly, "She. Was. Not. Right." She stated emphasising each word carefully. "Ginny Weasley may think she knows a lot but she is no seer and she certainly doesn't know enough about us to have such opinions about our life and our future. You're scared?" she asked rhetorically, "Me too. But I know we'll be okay." She told him confidently.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"Because we'll do it together. Whatever comes our way we'll face it together," she answered.

"It's that easy?" he asked raising a brow.

"Yes," she replied.

"But Hermione your reputation… our children… you don't deserve that… " he battled.

Hermione sighed and then grasped his face in her hands, "Shhh," she calmed, "No matter what happens Thorfinn, people are always going to have something to say. No matter what I do with my life, no matter who I choose to spend it will, it will never be what everybody wants for me. But that's the thing, I'm not really interested in what people think I deserve, or what they choose to call me. I've been Potter's mudblood and Ron Weasley's Girlfriend. I was the brains of The Golden Trio and every other horrible word Skeeter could throw at me. So at this point I don't really care what they call me."

"But you will care what they call our children," Thorfinn argued.

"Maybe a little," she admitted, "But I won't let that stop me from living my life," she told him. She kissed him again, assuredly and without reservations, "I want that future you saw Thorfinn," she told him, "so hear me when I say I'm not concerned over what people will think. Ginny's wrong and so is Harry. They have always been infuriatingly stubborn but I am holding out hope that they will learn the errors of their ways. But I will not apologise for the choices I make for my happiness. Besides, not everyone is as stubborn as Ginny and Harry. It will take time but people will see the good in you."

Thorfinn seemed rather hesitant about something and only when Hermione ran over his beard that familiar soothing gesture did he speak. "I hope you're sure about this Hermione because I don't think I could bear if you or our children come to hate me over time."

"That's not going to happen," Hermione promised pressing her forehead to his. "Trust me when I say that's not going to happen. Our relationship isn't so fickle as to succumb to the opinions of others." He smiled at that, glad for the amount of faith she put not just into their relationship but ultimately him too. "Remember you're mine now, Viking," she told him with a smile.

"As you are mine, Duchess," he whispered against her lips. He stared at her knowing he would never tire of the feel of her in his arms. He didn't need their bond to tell him that. "What is it?" he asked because he could see and could practically feel her thinking about something else.

"You keep saying you're a selfish man and maybe not too long ago you were, but I really wish you could see the man I see today," Hermione told him sincerely.

It was the pride and confidence in the way she spoke about him that had Thorfinn's heart soaring. "I don't care what people are going to say," she continued, "But I just need you to remember … or rather to know that I am not ashamed of you or our relationship. I told you the other night that sometimes we're allowed to be selfish in love and I think it's time I start actually following my own advice." She said with a sigh. "I didn't understand this bond at first. I couldn't understand why my magic felt the need to do something like this. But now I know. This bond gave me you and with you I've found the space I needed to just be me. It's more than I've ever been given. I don't know how to thank you for that," she said looking down at her hands.

Thorfinn's finger's grazed her cheek before tucking them under her chin, lifting her face gently to look at him. "No don't thank me, Hermione." He said shaking his head. "I haven't done nearly as much as you believe. For once I simply just listened to Evie. I think she might have been right about this," he said with a chuckle.

"About what?" Hermione asked.

"That this was not just about what I could offer you but about what you needed." Thorfinn answered. "I've never been depended on or needed like this before. It's been oddly… freeing, having someone need me other than for survival or for a good fight. I'm nobody's solider or puppet. I'm just me," he said sounding a little awed at the thought.

"And that's all I'd ever want you to be," Hermione assured him.

Thorfinn placed a kiss to her forehead and then shifted them slightly on the bench so that Hermione sat with her back pressed against his chest. He brought his chin to rest on her shoulder and made sure she was properly covered from the cold. They sat like that for the longest of times, basking in the peace and the comfort of each other.

"This garden is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen," Hermione said softly.

"Hmm, the handiwork of my mother and Evie," Thorfinn replied. "She believed in fairytales and happily ever after's. Something, I think Evie took from her."

"But you don't believe in such things," Hermione said more than asked.

"No, my father saw to thump those notions out of me very quickly," Thorfinn replied scowling at the mention of his father. "She would have liked you though," he said pressing his face against hers.

Hermione felt the delicious scratch of his beard against her cheeks and smiled, "Really?"

"Aye love," he answered. "I think she'd enjoy your stubbornness a bit too much too, if only because she'd see it as a fitting punishment for my own." Hermione laughed at that. "She would have especially liked how brave you were. I think … sometimes I think she wished she could have been braver for us but mostly for herself. She would have loved that about you," he said quietly. Hermione's hand reach down to where his hands were wrapped around her stomach and intertwined her fingers with his. "And of course she'd think you're the most beautiful witch she'd ever seen."

Hermione laughed, "She would not!"

"Perhaps not," he shrugged, "But I do."

"You must miss her terribly" Hermione said gently.

Hermione felt his chest rumble as he hummed his agreement, "I did but I'm glad she never got to see me taking the mark or all the terrible things I did after. It was bad enough trying to look Evie in the eye every time I came back from a meeting or raid. I don't think I would have managed if my mother saw me in that way."

Hermione thought about his words carefully before she spoke again, "Perhaps so," she agreed, "But maybe she'd be proud of the man you are now?" she offered. "I know Evie is."

She felt him smile and then shivered in delight when he placed a kiss at the hollow of her neck.

"How did you do it, Hermione?" he asked, "How did you manage to send your parents away."

Hermione sighed and grasped his hand more firmly in hers because even after all the months that had passed, the pain of knowing she'd never get her parents back did not lessen in any way.

"It was the hardest thing I'd ever done," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Even facing down Voldemort, all those months on the run, it was nothing compared to what I'd done to them." she said. "And I know it was the right thing to do because they're safe but…"

"It was," Thorfinn said assured her, "I know you probably don't want to hear it but it was the right thing to do. There had been talks of trying to track down your family after our little …meeting in the café."

Hermione turned just enough to look at him and gave him a guilty little smile but then she remembered his words about not apologising for trying to survive and wisely said nothing. Instead she said, "Yes, Draco did mention that. And I know it was the right thing to do but even that doesn't make it any easier to live with."

"No, I don't suppose it will." Thorfinn conceded.

"That day we met in Azkaban and you mentioned the memory charm, I …" Hermione trailed off.

"You had hoped that I had the answer to undoing it," Thorfinn said sadly. She mutely nodded. "Unfortunately I only have the one experience with the charm."

"Sometimes I think this must be my punishment for doing such an awful thing to them," Hermione admitted.

Thorfinn looked at her a little surprised, "You really believe that?"

Hermione sighed, "It's the most logical reason," she answered.

Thorfinn rubbed his hands up and down her arms soothingly. His witch, he sighed, always looking for the reason behind everything.

"I don't think it works that way," He said softly.

"Of course it does. It's like some sort of karmic justice," she replied steadfast.

"I don't know much about the laws of karma love," Thorfinn said, "But I do know that sometimes bad things happen to good people. It's just … life." He said.

"That's not fair," she mumbled.

"Aye love, it's not," he agreed holding her closer.

Hermione rested her head against his chest then, glad that Thorfinn hadn't found the need to justify what happened to her parents any further. She didn't think she could bear it if he tried to make what she did seem okay in any sense – it wasn't. She really hated the 'ends justify the means' argument especially in the case of her parents.

Despite all the drama that was currently happening around them, Hermione was pleased to find that none of it disrupted the peace and contentment she felt with him. Thorfinn pressed a kiss to her temple and they both sighed at the pleasant gently humming of their bond in clear approval. It was all both needed to know that for now they were exactly where they were supposed to be. The rest would sort itself out in time – it always did.

We've come so far my dear

Look how we've grown

And I just wanna stay with you

Until we're grey and old

AN: Hello dear readers!

Wow! What a wonderful response to the last chapter. I am glad Harry's reaction was well received. Most if not all didn't seem to surprised by it so I guess that's a bonus that he's still very much in character.

Unfortunately, I have to warn you with given the restrictions put in place because of the COVID-19 my workload has increased. I will try my best to ensure updates still come at the same rate but apologies in advanced if they are delayed!

A very special thank you to all the wonderful readers who have left a review. I read every single review and am so grateful you have taken the time so do! Believe me, us fanfic writers don't do this for the money. It's for the pure joy of it and seeing such a response is so inspiring and motivating! Please don't be shy! Leave me a review :)

Song: Say you won't let go - James Arthur

Until the next chapter!

Cheers!