Hey everyone! First, thank you all for reading. And thank you SO MUCH for those who are reviewing! You rock and make me smile, keep it up. XO

So this wasn't supposed to be Chapter 16. I hijacked Chapter 16 with an Edward's POV outtake instead of posting the outtake somewhere else since it picks up right where Ch 15 leave off.

Thanks MC for putting the bug in my ear that got this outtake started. And for looking this over quick.

I hope you like getting a little glimpse into Edward's head.

Chapter 16: -EPOV Outtake-

-EPOV-

Bella kissed me with those full, soft, electric lips one last time. Instantly my body begged me to slide my arm around her hip, pull her tightly against me. I wanted to press her back to the soft, black leather seat, settling myself between her legs. A place where I felt like I belonged—something singular to Bella, no other woman has ever felt close to how things felt with her. It was a struggle to keep myself from turning into a predatory animal and bury myself inside her like I wanted to do every time I was around her. But I managed to.

Most of the time.

Keeping myself in check, I kissed her back not letting my greediness when it came to her take me over as I breathed in the sweet, fragrance that emanated from her skin.

When she pulled her lips away from mine, she slid her gaze immediately to her feet the moment she opened them, not even grant me one last glimpse into her soulful chocolate-brown eyes. I watched a shining tear race down her beautiful pink cheek, as she quickly turned her face away from me. I reached out to her to wipe it away and turn her face to me so I could look into her eyes, but she had slid to the far side of the car in the same moment and my hand landed on her arm instead. I caught the sound of her breathing hitch just before she opened the door and the rush of noise from the busy drop-off area flooded the previously silent car.

She hesitated, but only a moment, not long enough for me to collect my thoughts to figure out how to convince her to stay. My hand dragged down her arm as she pulled away from me to step out of the car. I felt my thoughts race wildly; desperate, angry, desolate and conflicting.

When my hand slid down to hers, she squeezed mine tightly and then quickly let go, taking her electric touch with her. My hand dropped lifelessly to the black leather seat in time with the door closing, cutting off the noise and separating us.

I felt empty and alone in a way I'd never felt before. It wasn't just the deafening silence that was highlighted by the drastic contrast with the cacophony of noise going on outside the car. It was more than that but what exactly I didn't know.

The silence quickly began to eat at me. I'd never been one for silence, never quite feeling comfortable unless there was some sort of noise. Growing up, I never lacked for noise between my hyper, chattery little sister and my boisterously loud big brother. And when I didn't have the commotion of my family or friends, I'd fill the silence with music; either listening to it or playing it. But Bella seemed to make silence comforting, comfortable and simply peaceful. I'd never felt that way with anyone before; to be able to just…be. The silence that had filled the car now was uneasy; the exact opposite of how the silence with Bella, on the way to the airport, had felt. Silence with Bella was comfortable; she'd made something I was very uncomfortable with and made it easy, contenting and even perfect.

Like her.

Albeit I had only known her a few days, but with her I didn't feel like I had to try to impress her. I never felt like she had preconceptions about me that I had to live up to. She seemed to be as uncomfortable with the attention I had a tendency to attract as I was. She was easy to talk to and fun to laugh with. And the more I let her in to who I really was—whether it was on purpose or by accidentally saying too much to her—the more she seemed to like me. She even loved the music I'd written, telling me it was some of her favorite things before knowing I'd had anything to do with their creation.

That was how everything was with her; simple, perfect… right. I'd never before felt anything like how she made me feel.

And I'd just let her walk out of my life.

What the hell did I just do?

I watched as Bella walked out of sight, through the sliding doors with her bags. Then Charlie returned to the car, pulled away from the curb and it dawned on me….

Fuck me. No.

"Stop! Go back! Go back!" I yelled sharply at Charlie, but I was too distraught to find it in me to get too torn up about being rude.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't. I've already pulled into traffic and it's a one-way," he explained as he continued on the road, obviously frazzled. Rightfully so; I'd visited New York on many occasions through the past several years, very often during those trips Charlie was charged with me and I'd never before addressed him in such a way.

"Go back around then," I ordered tersely watching him maneuver the traffic to get us back to the airport's check-in area.

What was I doing? What did I think I was going to do by going back around? I couldn't go after her. I was bound to this car. Besides, even if I was able to go after her, what would I do then? She'd told me that she had to go back home, that she couldn't default on her responsibilities and family so she would still end up leaving anyway. I couldn't hop on the plane with her either. As much as I wished it was that wasn't an option either. I had interviews starting back up tomorrow. I needed to be here in New York, I had responsibilities I couldn't ignore either.

I pounded the back of my head hard against the headrest in frustration.

Maybe I could convince her to stay one more night—just one more night before we had to be responsible. That wasn't asking too much, was it? Not when I compared it to how I'd already royally fucked things up for her, it didn't seem to be. I mean, I already failed miserably with trying to stay away from her. Thinking I could spend time with her but keeping her at arms-length was a disaster because I couldn't seem to do that. And then I royally pissed all over everything by giving in yet again to my all-consuming need for her by asking to see her again after she went home—even with warning her, it wasn't fair of me to even ask. I should never have asked. I should have ended it for her sake. I should have. But I couldn't seem to help it. Staying away from her was like trying to tell gravity to resist its own force; it was impossible.

Compared to all the other ways I'd failed her, asking for tonight was but a grain of sand on a beach. At this point, what was one more night before I gave her up for God knows how long?

That reminded me; I still needed to call Irina to find out just exactly how miserably long it was going to be until I could see Bella again. I knew it was going to be bad. I'd done a bang-up job making sure Irina kept my schedule packed to the hilt. After my relationship with Tanya crumbled—just like every other relationship I'd had, albeit in its own unique way—I finally saw that my success, in being able to do what I loved, had a high price. I realized that this career choice demanded singular attention. When it didn't get it, it got angry and spiteful. It lashed out whenever I came even remotely close to loving something other than it at the same time. It destroyed everything that competed with it until it had me back to itself again. This career did not share. I finally realized then that it was either the career or a woman, they could not coexist. Acting was a career that thought it was a person, and a person that demanded monogamy. Something I was finally willing to give it until Bella walked into my life and I couldn't look away.

I hated myself for putting Bella up against such a cruel, vindictive, vengeful monster—as much as I loved what I did for a living, I knew it was nothing but the truth. She didn't deserve that. But because I was too weak, she'd have to endure that pain and I truly hated myself for it.

Yet there I was heading back to the drop-off area of the airport to see if I could somehow convince her to stay just one more night with me. I was ashamed at myself, but not enough to suck it up and leave without trying to get her to stay. For some reason I didn't fully understand, I needed her more than I'd ever needed anyone in my life. I cared for her so much it frightened me and what did I do? I acted on my selfishness knowing it would ruin the person I cared for.

Maybe it was me who was the monster.

I truly didn't deserve her.

Charlie pulled the car back up to the curb of the drop-off area.

I called Bella's phone, but her voicemail picked up right away. I called it again. Voicemail.

Fuck me.

It was times like this, I wished I still smoked. It had been years and I rarely craved them any longer, but I could really use a light right now; my leg was bouncing like a jackrabbit and my hands ran through my hair grabbing fistfuls of it, threatening to pull it from the roots.

I needed my guitar; that was what I really needed. It was times like this I would grab my guitar like a lifeline and start playing to keep myself together. I needed an outlet. My hands could never stand to be idle, they always needed to be moving, to be doing something; that was why playing and writing music was so perfect for me. Nothing else but playing really worked to calm me, not even smoking really nipped it—except for when I was with Bella. Bella was the exception. She somehow calmed me as well as playing did, in some ways better and above that, she inspired me. In just the short few days I had known her, she'd already inspired several songs. I couldn't keep up with them fast enough.

Another new melody flooded into my head; simple and longing.

I needed her back.

I called her cell phone again. Still there was no answer.

"What did you want me to do, Mr. Cullen?" Charlie asked looking back at me in the rearview mirror.

What did I want him to do?

Nothing. I didn't want Charlie to do anything. I wanted to not be a prisoner to this car and be able to go after Bella like I wanted to.

My cell phone rang. I could feel my heart race faster hoping it was Bella. I looked at the display and silently cursed my brother. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. He'd tell me to quit being a pussy about potentially getting spotted and get my ass out of the car to go after her if that was what I wanted to do.

Emmett: Hasn't the spinner left yet? Put her down and call me back. I gotta talk to you bro.

My head was too distracted and disoriented. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I'd talk with him later.

"Mr. Cullen?" Charlie asked again.

No, Emmett would tell me I needed to grow some balls because it was just a girl. As much as I'd want to argue with him—because Bella wasn't just any girl—his implication would be right, I was being stupid and neurotic and needed to pull myself together. What the hell was wrong with me? Never before in my life had I ever been so hung up over someone. If I didn't get a fucking grip, I'd ruin this before anything else even had a chance to. I didn't need her scared off because I became an overly possessive guy, much less acting that way days into knowing one another.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, as I let out a deep breath in attempt to collect my thoughts.

"Go back to the hotel," I breathed, defeated.

"Sir?"

I opened my eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry about before. Just go. It's fine."

Charlie pushed his eyebrows together and studied me for a moment, but then pulled away from the curb for a second time. I needed to make sure to tip him really well for putting up with my neuroses when we got back, he'd always been great and I was being a complete ass.

I needed to let her go, as much as it killed me to do it, I did. Bella was already at risk of missing her flight because of my inability to do just that; I didn't need to guarantee that she missed it.

Her flight! I felt hope spring up within me. She might have missed it; she might have been too late without my going after her. I was determined to not do anything else to interfere with her getting to her flight on time, but if she'd already missed it…

She wasn't answering her phone, so I quick sent her a text:

Me: Call me if you didn't make your flight, I'll come get you and you can fly back tomorrow… it would be just one more day. X

I hoped she had missed it so much I felt dizzy from it. I would have felt horrible because I knew it was my fault for keeping her, but I wouldn't have cared once she was in my arms again, in my hotel room, in my bed.

Fuck me. One thought of Bella back in my bed and I was instantly hard. It was like I was a teenager all over again when it came to her.

When we got back to the hotel, I had apologized to Charlie and my peace offering. He accepted the apology with an easy smile, and refused the money.

I'd still not heard back from Bella and knew at that point I had to accept that Bella was in the air and on her way to the other coast, thousands of miles away from me. During the ascent to my floor, after checking one more time to make sure she hadn't texted or called, I sent her another text:

Me: I haven't heard from you, so I'm guessing you made your flight. Let me know when you land safely. I'll get my schedule and we'll figure it out, okay? I miss you. X

I called Irina and told her to get back to me with any breaks in my schedule. I didn't care if it was just one day, or even a half-a-day if I was on the west coast, I wanted every option. Then I headed for the piano bench, sitting on it backwards. I set down my cell phone beside me, picked up my guitar and began playing; keeping myself busy and giving myself an outlet while I waited for Irina to tell me how long my hell would last, and for Bella to call so I could hear her voice again.

AN: I'd love to know what you thought and hope you enjoyed the little non-chapter while you wait for the next "real" chapter. XO -TJE

Oh and I have a Song Rec for this non-chapter, chapter:

Here without You by 3 Doors Down