Thank you to all the readers, reviewers, rec'ers (yeah, yeah not a real word, whatever), people who have this on alerts and favorites. And thank you to the wonderful MC for never failing to amaze me.
Reminder: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. This all human version of events, however, is mine.
Enjoy.
Chapter 20: Family Bonding
"Good morning," Alice chirped with a sly grin that made me blush deeply as Edward and I walked into the kitchen. I tried to tell myself I was just being paranoid, but even in my head it sounded like a lie.
"Good morning, Alice," Edward smirked unabashedly at her in return.
"Good morning," I mumbled back averting my eyes to the floor.
We should have gone back to the hotel.
I had tried to keep quiet since we were in the same house as Edward's parents, sister and brother-in-law, and succeeded to some extent, but with the things Edward was capable of, it was like trying to keep my heart from beating—I just couldn't control it.
Having it just brought to my attention, I could hear my heavy breathing, deep moans, whimpers and gasped oaths that escaped my mouth without command with each of his touches last night—things that, until then, I'd thought had only been admitted in my head. I had tried with some success to stifle my reactions to him to soft gasps and breaths, but when we came undone together, the sensation was so strong, it rocked through my entire body, lighting it on fire. So despite my efforts, I couldn't keep myself silent and in the moment I didn't care much who heard me.
Now, outside of that moment, however, I cared. A lot. And my cheeks were lit on fire as a result.
Thankfully, however, it appeared Edward's parents hadn't been privy to the sounds coming from Edward and my room last night because their morning greetings seemed completely devoid of awkwardness or knowing smiles. I felt myself relax a bit as I poured myself a coffee—Edward's sister and brother-in-law hearing us was one thing, his parents were another.
Emmett returned to the house just after we finished lunch. His usual boisterous disposition seemed further exaggerated than usual. When I had an opportunity to, I asked Edward if he knew where Emmett had gone the night before.
"I'm not sure, he never said," Edward admitted. "But if I were to venture a guess, I'd say he went to see your friend to try to change her mind."
"I was wondering that too," I agreed hopefully. "He looks happier than usual, so maybe he did change her mind."
I smiled at the thought for reasons both selfish and selfless; I wanted Rose to be happy and I honestly felt that Emmett, given the chance, could maybe do that, but also, a captivating image crossed my mind. It was one of Rose and I both sitting here, at this house together with Edward and Emmett and their family. I saw us all gathered on the deck, talking and laughing. The image came with an intense feeling of sheer joy, like the way a favorite memory felt when it came to mind—everything right, perfect and wonderful, making me want badly for it to happen.
"Yeah, maybe," Edward said pensively before meeting my eyes. "Why did she really tell Emmett she didn't want to see him again after you two went home?" he asked; his eyes wide and earnest.
"When I'd asked her why, she told me it was because she has to think about Henry and not just what she wants," I told him honestly and then added, "I think she feels like she failed him when she and Royce couldn't make their marriage work, so now she's making it a point to think about Henry first when it comes to getting into another relationship. I guess I don't fully understand it since I don't have kids, but I think she's just trying to look out for him, and trying to put Henry's needs before her own."
Edward just nodded, absorbing the information I'd given him.
"You ready to go?" Carlisle asked Edward with an enthusiastic smile as he approached us.
The guys were going to go out fishing and Carlisle seemed beyond excited at the prospect of an afternoon with his sons and son-in-law. Apparently it was something that didn't happen often.
"Yeah, let's go," Edward smiled at his father and then turned back to me as Carlisle walked away. He tipped my chin up with his hand and slipped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him.
I had to fight the urge to pin him against the wall.
"Are you going to be okay, love?" he asked.
"Yes, I'll be fine, Edward," I assured him with a smile and a roll of my eyes. "It's not like they bite," I added teasingly, using his words from the day before.
Edward breathed an amused chuckle as he closed the distance and gave me an all-too-brief kiss.
"I'll see you in a little while," he said and kissed me again before joining the guys who were packing up the last of the items before heading out onto the water.
Alice and Esme had decided they wanted to spend the afternoon shopping while the men were out, mentioning something about finding new dresses. Even though shopping wasn't exactly something I particularly enjoyed, I didn't know what I would have done alone at the house and it seemed rude to decline when they asked me to go with them, so I tagged along.
"Bella?" Alice sang, drawing me out of my peaceful collective of Edward musings I delved myself into to keep myself entertained, while watching the two women happily shop.
"Hmm?" I replied reluctant to leave the memory of Edward the other night in my apartment, playing me the now completed song he'd played the start of at his hotel room in New York. The sound of his voice, singing the words was incredible and the lyrics he'd written were powerful.
"You have to try this dress on," she insisted shoving a beautiful deep red dress into my hands.
I felt myself make a face as I shook my head. While the dress was beautiful, red was a bold, racy color that drew attention, and attention was something I didn't want to attract if at all possible—I had never felt comfortable in the spotlight, and it wasn't a good place for me given my ungraceful nature. Besides, red was not a color just anyone could pull off, it was made for someone like Rosalie.
"Thanks Alice, but I don't need a dress," I replied handing it back to her.
"Please Bella? Trust me; it will look amazing on you. It would be an injustice to the masterpiece this dress is if you didn't even at least try it on," Alice pressed giving me doe eyes.
I sighed in submission taking it from her, parting the fabric to see if the dress she grabbed was the right size.
"It'll fit," Alice assured me. "I have a knack for sizes; it's kind of an occupational necessity. Now go," she said looking like she was about to burst with anticipation as she shooed me into a fitting room.
"I thought you were looking for a dress, Alice," I called to her on the other side of the door as I dutifully pulled off my clothes.
"I am, but sometimes, dresses find you," she sang back excitedly.
I slipped the dress over my body feeling silly in the "look at me" color and a bit naked with the length only dropping to my mid-thigh. It fit snugly around my chest and ribcage and then where the skirt took over, it flared out a little. It was sexy, fun and flirty—and completely not me.
"Here. Put these on with it," she said shoving a pair of shoes under the dressing room door. They were red like the dress with high, narrow heels and had long ribbons flowing from them.
"What do I—?" my question broke off because I was so confused I didn't even know what to ask about how to work the things.
"Open the door and I'll show you," she instructed, sounding like she was about to open a Christmas present.
I complied, letting her in. Immediately she crouched down, slipped the shoes on me and began expertly guiding the ribbons around my feet and finished by tying them into a perfect bow at the ankle. When she'd finished with both, she stood, eyeing me up and down, taking in the whole look; her face lit up excitedly.
"Well? What do you think?" She asked stepping back toward me, slipping her hands around my waist, tying a wide ribbon around me that I hadn't noticed was there. Then she stepped back to look me over again, now that the final touch was in place and waited excitedly for my reaction to my reflection.
I glanced in the mirror and shrugged. It was a red dress.
Alice let out a light, exasperated sigh and pulled me out of the changing room, out into a larger, raised area that had several mirrors on all sides of me, letting me see myself from every angle. Then she gestured to the mirrors as if asking, "how about now?"
"It's nice," I said, the statement coming out like a question, knowing another shrug of my shoulders wasn't going to be an acceptable answer.
I felt like I was out with Rosalie, one of the first few times we went clothes shopping together, all over again. She kept trying to get me excited about things, but I just couldn't see the appeal.
"Bella," the memory of Rose's annoyed voice played in my head as I stood in front of mirrors similar to the one I was standing in front of now. "Look at your ass! Those jeans make it look fuck-hot. They hug your ass like they're wrapping themselves around a twenty carat diamond. How can you remain indifferent seeing that in the mirror? They make your butt look so good there is no way I'm letting you walk out of here without them. I would kill to have jeans make my ass look anywhere near that good."
I laughed inwardly. I could see Alice and Rosalie definitely getting along.
"I'm not really a dress person," I explained to her, scrunching my face, hoping she'd understand my lack of enthusiasm for something she deemed to be something appropriate to fawn over. "Or much of a shopping person in general, so—"
"But in the pictures of you in New York, you were wearing dresses," Alice insisted.
"Courtesy of Rosalie," I quipped with a laugh.
Alice gave me a look of confusion.
"My friend, I was in New York with," I clarified, but when her expression didn't change, I explained further. "She takes it upon herself to use me as her own life-sized paper dress-up doll, since I apparently lack fashion sense and am content in comfy jeans and an old, ratty t-shirt. Those dresses were all but forced on me."
"What girl doesn't like to shop?" Alice breathed sounding confused and horrified at the same time.
"Apparently I'm living proof that it is a mythical creature that does in fact exist," I said giving her a small smile that asked for forgiveness for something she obviously found terrible to consider a reality.
I watched her expression change. It was almost as if I could see her mind drop the horrid thought of a girl not embracing fashion and pick up another.
"What's Rosalie like?" Alice asked sounding casual, fiddling with the ribbon around my waist even though it was already tied perfectly. Despite her cavalier façade, I could see the intense curiosity burning behind it and I wondered if Edward and I were right, that Emmett had snuck off to see Rose the night before without explanation.
I had texted Rose this morning asking how her weekend was and if she wanted to join me for pizza over at my parents' house the following night hoping she'd mention it, but all she said was it was fine and that she and Royce were taking Henry somewhere so she couldn't make it for pizza. I didn't want to flat out ask her about Emmett in case that wasn't where he went. But despite her lack of confirmation, I still thought my gut feeling was right on, especially when she had tacked on a comment to have fun with Edward. When I asked her how she knew, all she said was that she had her sources and warned me that if Jess found out she might be trolling the streets of Seattle looking for him.
I returned my mind back to the present and tried to think about how to correctly describe what Rose was like to Alice.
"Well, you wouldn't have any trouble getting her excited about shopping," I began with a laugh and earned a smile from Alice. "I'm sure you saw pictures of her and Emmett in New York," I ascertained.
Alice nodded.
"Okay, so I'll skip the fact that she's unfairly beautiful." I paused trying to think of how to explain Rosalie. "Rose is… a very upfront person, she thinks it's always better to get it out there; no guessing, no games, no filter," I laughed. "Usually people are put off by her brashness, but it's one of the things I like best about her, because with her, I've never had to wonder if she's telling me what she really thinks or if she really likes me. And while she won't win popularity contests because people misconstrue her upfront personality as just being a bitch, the few people she does surround herself with couldn't ever find a better or more loyal friend." I paused trying to figure out how to explain my best friend, because I didn't feel like I was saying any of it right. I let out a deep sigh of frustration. "I don't know, I guess, I can't articulate her very well. Rosalie is just….Rose…..she's one of a kind; special."
"She has a kid?" Alice asked after a beat of silence, though it was more of a prompt then a question.
"An absolutely adorable little boy named Henry," I confirmed with a nod and a smile. "She and her ex-husband had him when they were still together," I told her and waited for her to elaborate on where she was going with the question or follow up with another one, but she didn't do either. Instead her expression glassed over as if she was looking through me, turning over the information she'd just gathered with whatever information she already knew about her from her brothers.
"Oh Bella!" Esme gasped, her voice made me jump as it intruded my quizzical stare at Alice. "You should definitely get that one, because that dress is absolutely lovely on you, dear."
"Isn't it though? I was just telling Bella the same thing!" Alice pulled out of her trance and smiled brightly at her mother.
"Thank you," I blushed with the attention, wondering how close the shade of my cheeks were to the deep red color of the dress I donned. "But as nice as this dress is, I don't need one, so I'll have to pass," I said as I stepped off the raised platform in front of the mirrors; adding in my head that I really couldn't afford to spend the money anyway. Then I flashed them both a small smile and headed back to the partitioned area to change back into my beloved t-shirt, jeans and sneakers that waited for me there.
We continued shopping for the rest of the afternoon, and both Alice and Esme found several things to purchase. By the time we got back to Esme and Carlisle's house, the men, back from fishing, were playing two-on-two basketball on the half-court; Emmett and Jasper against Edward and Carlisle. I couldn't help but stop and stare at Edward in a tank-top and shorts as I helped Alice and Esme carry in their spoils. His skin glistened with sweat from the game they'd been playing, highlighting his defined arms and shoulders. I watched as they all laughed and harassed one another in camaraderie with the friendly but aggressive game.
"Have fun shopping?" Edward called breathlessly with a smile, picking up the basketball and resting it between his arm and side as the guys took a break from the game. The sound flashed a memory of Edward's voice just after a particularly vigorous session in my apartment the other day.
I clenched my legs together.
"Yeah it was nice," I called back watching the smirk spread across Edward's face knowing how little I enjoyed shopping.
"Looks like you found some things," he raised an eyebrow with curiosity.
"No," I laughed. "None of these are mine," I corrected holding up the bags.
I heard both Carlisle and Jasper let out theatrical groans taking in the load I was carrying, each probably figuring at least half to be their spouses while Emmett let out a boisterous laugh.
"Oh come on," Alice goaded the men, "don't pretend you don't like seeing us looking all beautiful for you." Then she smiled widely and followed Esme into the house.
I gave a shrug and smiled as I moved to follow the pair. Edward laughed and re-engaged himself in the game.
After a drink with Esme and Alice on the deck, I took a quick shower to shave my legs and then went to the guest room Edward and I slept in to get changed for our night out. When I walked into the room, next to my dress I'd lain out to wear, I saw two boxes lying stacked on the bed. Both of them were wrapped in beautiful, red, silky, satin ribbons, adorned with large, perfectly tied bows. Curious, I looked at the thick rectangular piece of paper lying on the top box.
Bella,
My mom and I agreed that this dress needed to be yours—it really did look stunning on you. I know Edward will agree, so you're not allowed to be mad at me for buying it for you. Think of it as a thank you gift for enduring a day of shopping—Edward told me not to make you go. But I hope you had a little fun—maybe even enough to come with me again sometime?
Love, Alice
I shook my head and smiled, realizing Alice must have slipped it in here when I was in the shower. I let out a sigh of annoyance as I set down the note and fingered the soft ribbon on the box, thinking it was far too much of a gift to give someone—I'd seen the outrageous price tag of the dress, I didn't even want to know what the shoes cost. But then, despite my light petulance, I found myself having to wipe the corner of my eyes from the emotion that filled me from the gesture of welcome and acceptance the gift represented and I felt the fear I'd had about Edward's family liking and accepting me begin to relax and fade.
My first reaction though still was to refuse the exorbitant gifts. It was far too expensive and I didn't need anything that excessive, much less yet another dress in my closet I'd never wear again. But then I thought better of it. If the gift represented Alice and Esme's welcome and approval, I didn't want to reject it, making myself seem rude or ungrateful because their acceptance was what I was hoping against all hope for.
I took a deep breath and moved across the room to sit in front of the vanity as I turned over the kindness and generosity the women had just bestowed upon me, not quite believing it to be real. I brushed on some make-up, darkening my eyes a bit for the evening out, and then added some blush and lip gloss. I then tamed my hair until it flowed in soft waves that cascaded down my back. Finally, I slipped on the dress, but I struggled with the ribbon-tied shoes, not being able to tie them perfectly like Alice had at the store.
Giving up, I pulled them off, padded down the hall and knocked on Alice's bedroom door, hoping she was in there to help me.
"I can't get the ribbons," I admitted sheepishly, holding up the shoes when Alice came to the door looking remarkable in her new silver slip dress.
"You're wearing it!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up as gave an excited clap and began bouncing up and down with excitement. Then she quickly pulled me into her room and helped me with the shoes.
"Thank you, for this Alice. Really, this is too much, you didn't need to—" I began but she cut me off.
"Nonsense. If anything, it's not enough," she insisted swiftly finishing one bow and moving to the other.
Not enough? Was she serious?
"I know you don't have a means of comparison," Alice continued, "but for the rest of us, it's blaringly obvious the change in Edward since he met you. My mom has worried more and more that he was too wrapped up in his career to ever let anyone in. She was afraid he'd never have someone," Alice said as she stood up. "I don't think you realize how taken he is with you." She added, fixing the tie around my waist, molding it into a perfect bow to match the ones she'd tied on the shoes.
I went to let out a laugh that was meant to counter her words, but it lost power when I caught the expression Alice wore on her face, and no sound escaped. I looked away, pretending to examine her handiwork as I tried to absorb her comment, but I couldn't seem to. It was like pouring a glass of water on a table and expecting the table to soak it in, but instead it just sat there lying on the surface, refusing to budge.
"You look perfect," Alice said breaking the silence, taking me by the shoulders and turning me to a full-length mirror in the room. "It'll be the best present he gets—he's going to love it."
Present?
"Ali?" a deep southern drawl called accompanied by a knock at the bedroom door. "Can I come in? Or did you ladies need a minute?"
"Come in Jasper," Alice called. "We're decent."
"That would be a first for you, Ali," Jasper drawled with a laughed as he walked into the room and locked his gaze on Alice.
I immediately felt like I was intruding; the intense way they eyed one another told me it was my cue to leave. I quickly thanked Alice for her help with the shoes and scooted out of the room, skirting across the hall to the bedroom Edward and I were staying in, causing me to nearly fall in my haste.
Catching myself on the doorframe, I righted myself and closed the door behind me. Then I walked over to the mirror and attempted to look at myself objectively; trying to see what Alice was saying about me in the dress. I stared at myself for a long time, trying to ignore the fact that it was me and pretend I was looking at someone else. After a while, I could see that the deep color of the dress did look striking set against the porcelain skin, flushed cheeks, dark eyes and dark brown hair. And in the brief moments I could disconnect the reflection from being my own, I could almost see what she'd meant. I could see in those flickers where I was able to turn my reflection into an unknown woman staring back at me, that she looked really quite pretty—beautiful even. But then, faster than she appeared, she turned back into me again and all I saw was my unsure, awkward self, trying not to look nearly as uncomfortable as I felt in a dress and heels.
Sigh.
I began tying my hair up, trying to decide if it looked better that way or down when the bedroom door opened. I jumped lightly from being jarred out of my reverie, dropping my hair in the process as it unfolded itself and swung against my shoulders and back.
"Bella?" Edward's voice called. He began saying something else, but he cut off whatever it was he was going to say, stopping mid-word when I looked over my shoulder and our eyes met. His face was cleanly shaved; the stubble gone. His sexy, defined jaw lay exposed and somehow it was more distracting than before with the rugged stubble. Edward's bronze hair was more unruly than usual; looking like a towel was thoroughly rubbed through it and was still wet, darkening the color to a deep auburn shade. He donned all black, from his collared shirt to his shoes and he looked striking; the sight of him shot through me. I watched with a thrill of satisfaction as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly at the sight of me before he recovered, cocking his head to the side and flashed me a crooked smile.
Edward closed the door behind him and eyed me wantonly.
"Now you, love, look like a present I can't wait to unwrap," Edward said in a low, voice that made me squirm a little before I could collect my thoughts enough to comment on his bare face and was distracted from the thought when his words caught up to me.
"What do you mean, 'present'?" I asked distracted by the term I'd just heard from Alice and now again.
Edward walked over to me, his vision seeming singular almost like a predator honed in on its prey. I felt my body thrill and warm with eager anticipation with his drawing closeness.
"You're all wrapped up in bows," Edward said with a smile playing with the bow at my waist. "I like it; it's very sexy," he said, want coloring the tone of his voice. "But I thought you said you didn't get anything today," he pointed out sliding his hands down around the curve of my waist and then firmly clasping my hips in each one, sending a rush of want coiling through me, concentrated in the area between where his warm hands held me.
"I didn't. Alice, however, did for me," I said looking up at him, giving him a small smile. My eyes felt torn, they wanted to swim in his deep emerald eyes, stare at his soft, full lips and ogle his naked jawline. They flickered between the three, unable to decide which one was the best.
For some reason, my simple explanation took him by surprise.
"Alice bought you the dress?" he asked as if he didn't quite believe he'd heard me right.
"Apparently," I reiterated. "Or Alice and your mom, I'm not completely certain. But Alice made me try this on at the store. I humored her, but told her I didn't need a dress and then we continued shopping. I thought the subject was dropped, but apparently she felt I needed to have it because when I came in here to get ready, it was lying on the bed with a note from her." I said gesturing to the ribbons of satin and open boxes on the bed. "Why?"
"Let's just say that," Edward paused, pulling the back of his fingers softly down the side of my face. I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into his hand as it opened for me as he slid his fingers into my hair, "if you were still worried about what they think of you, don't, because they wouldn't have done something like this if they didn't love you."
I hummed lightly with the feel of Edward's hands running through my hair.
"I'm going to have to thank her for it myself, because I've only seen you in it for about ten seconds and I'm already fighting the urge to have my way with you right now," Edward breathed.
I opened my eyes and eyed him wantonly.
"It's not nice to tease me with something you have no intention to follow through on," I insisted, feeling light with confidence fed by his statement that rarely filled me. I wondered briefly if somehow the bold color of my dress was affecting me by making me more brazen.
Edward let out a sound that was like a growl and sigh combined. I could feel it spiral through me, making me want him all the more.
"Don't think I'm not serious," he warned.
"On the contrary, I'm hoping you're dead serious," I confessed.
It definitely had to be the red dress because I didn't know where else this would have been coming from. But whatever it was, I liked it.
Edward's eyes snapped to mine, no doubt just as surprised by my sudden assertiveness as I was. When I looked back into his, letting him know I was indeed as serious as my words. I found his green eyes looked carnal, wild and full of desire. It sent a wave of wanting excitement through and left me wanting more.
I didn't have a chance to say anything further, the next thing I knew Edward had me pinned against the wall, sending a spike of want to shoot through me. He ground against me intensifying the sensation. One of my legs rose on its own accord, trying to wrap itself around him; to hold him to me. Edward grabbed it, wrapping it around him and then pulled up the other, suspending me, pinning me against the wall, pressing himself firmly against me, against my sex letting me feel just how hard and ready for me he already was.
I moaned with the feeling, unable to stop the sound from escaping my mouth, but Edward was faster. He cut off the noise with his mouth and brushing his tongue to mine, letting me taste him, keeping my mouth too preoccupied to release my moans of ecstasy into the air.
I reached down, trying to undo his pants, but had trouble; my body was in the way. Edward, realizing this, carefully dropped my legs, standing me upright, allowing me to succeed in my quest. His pants dropped to the floor as he slipped his hands up under the skirt of my dress, his hands sliding up my thighs then inward to my core. His fingers hooked my underwear, pulling them to the side, exposing my sex and dragged them along the outside of me, teasing.
"Edward. Please," I begged breathlessly against his lips as I pushed his boxer briefs out of the way; freeing him. I couldn't take any more; I needed to have him in me.
Edward grabbed ahold of my thigh when a series of knocks came from the door.
"Edward? Bella?" Alice's voice sang from the other side.
No! I whined in my head. Go away. Please just go away.
Edward continued to kiss me, ignoring the interruption, his mouth travelling from my lips and down my neck.
"Edward, I know you're in there," Alice called again with a playfully annoyed tone. "We have to get going if we want to make our reservation."
He pulled his mouth from my neck and dropped his forehead to the wall, hitting it lightly a few times and then took a deep breath to settle himself. I did the same dropping mine against the crook of his chest.
"Fuck," Edward let out a with soft growl.
"Yeah," he called a little too breathless to pull off as casual. "We'll be ready in a minute.
"I'm holding you to that," she called with a laugh.
"Annoying little pixie," Edward mumbled under his breath.
Then he sighed and pulled his head away from the wall to look at me.
"It's probably for the best," Edward said in a husky voice, slipping his finger into my underwear to slide them back in place. My eyes closed and I bit back a moan. "I just realized I forgot to pull out any 'Bella Emergency Kits' from my bag before I stowed it away in the car a few minutes ago and I don't have any on me. Because tonight, I want you all to myself so we're staying at the hotel." He smirked.
"'Bella Emergency Kits'?" I asked confused, distracted from Edward telling me we would be all alone tonight as I watched him redress, wishing the clothes were being shed rather than added.
"Condoms," he explained with a chuckle, kissing the tip of my nose and then refastened his belt.
When he looked back up at me from his belt, his expression turned confused. He reached up and released my lip from my teeth; something I hadn't realized I was doing.
"What is it, Love?"
"Nothing," I told him.
Edward flashed me a withering look that told me he didn't buy it.
"Really, it's fine. We can talk about it later," I said, thinking about Edward's family waiting for us.
"Bella, tell me," he pleaded, locking his hypnotizing, green eyes with mine, coercing the truth from me with their powers.
"Well, it's just, I am on the pill," I said knowing he knew this already having seen me take them this weekend. "And I don't have anything," I continued, loving and hating that I was powerless against the drug Edward's eyes emitted. I could feel myself blush, but didn't know why. "I mean, I don't expect you to take my word for it, so I could get re-tested and everything. But if you don't either and if it is just you and me, we don't have to—"
"What do you mean if it's just you and me?" Edward snapped angrily, obviously offended by the suggestion that I would even entertain the thought that he might be indulging himself with anyone else. "Bella, you know it is. I told you that," Edward said severely.
I nodded biting my lip and dropped my eyes. Yes, he had told me that.
Yeah, James told you that too, someone in my head piped up snidely. I quickly shoved the thought back; tonight wasn't the time to rehash all of that.
"Love, look at me," he pleaded, his tone softened, the edge gone. Then when I didn't comply he placed his fingers under my chin, gently lifting it up so I would look at him again. "I hate it when you won't let me look into your eyes," he explained. "I love your eyes," he paused trailing soft caresses along my face and neck. My heart fluttered warmly. "Don't hide them from me," he requested.
"As far as getting re-tested, if you feel it's necessary to go in again, do it, but I believe you," he continued. "You're not exactly an expert liar."
He laughed lightly.
"And as for going without a condom," he continued, "you have no idea how much I want to with you," he said, his voice dropping into a wantonly carnal growl at the end of the statement that made my stomach flip in the most delicious way. "I don't have anything either, but that probably has something to do with the fact that I've never once wavered on using them. Though for your peace of mind I'd be happy to go in for you. But using condoms is something my parents engrained in us to always use, without exception. And when you have a doctor for a father, he can share some pretty horrifying stories of the countless reasons to make sure to use them that would scare even the most obstinate person into using them religiously. As a result, I became a bit paranoid about it. So, while it's good to know you're putting it out there as an option and despite how badly I want to, it's difficult for me to get past my reservations."
I nodded in understanding because I did understand, but yet I couldn't stop the feeling of rejection as it washed over me. Logically I knew it was silly to react such a way, but my emotions were not the best of friends with the analytical side of my brain and they more often than not, conflicted with one another.
"I have a feeling we'll get there, love," he said with a soft smile and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "Just give me some time."
"Kay," I said softly with a nod and a small smile before I gave him a kiss in return.
Then I straightened up; pulling myself from the wall I was still leaning against and walked over to the vanity to make sure I didn't look like Edward and I had done what we nearly had. I pulled my brush through my hair, hoping my natural waves would look good enough because I didn't have time to do anything with it now. Then, I put the dress I had planned to wear and the other few things I'd had out of my suitcase back into it and zipped it shut.
Belatedly I remembered the note from Alice. I quick scooped it up and slipped it into the front pocked of my bag, not exactly sure why I wanted it, but just that I felt like I needed to have it.
Edward watched me curiously, as I stuffed the card in my bag, but didn't comment.
"Ready?" Edward asked, grabbing ahold of my suitcase.
"Yes," I replied scanning the room.
Edward swiftly pulled the suitcase off the bed.
"So what is the occasion we're going out tonight for anyway?" I asked curiously. "You never did tell me."
Edward squinted his eyes like he didn't want to say or was afraid of my reaction, only making me all the more curious to know.
"Why do you look like you are going to tell me that you're moving half-way around the world?" I asked and as the words left my lips, my heart wrung painfully at the thought of him on the other side of the world, with any amount of permanence.
Edward laughed sounding relieved. "No, love, I'm not moving away. It's nothing like that. It's just—. We're getting together because of my birthday."
"Your birthday?" I asked with a mix of anger and incredulity that he hadn't told me and knowing he'd kept it from me purposefully.
"Yes, it's in a couple days; the twentieth," he admitted—to his credit—a little sheepishly taking in my anger. "I'll be twenty-eight."
"How could you not tell me?"
"I didn't want you to feel like you needed to get me anything. The only thing I really wanted was to be with you this weekend, and you gave me that. You being with me is the best present I could have asked for," he explained.
Despite the honesty I saw clearly in his eyes that told me he meant it, I couldn't help but be upset.
"But what if I wanted to get you something?" I demanded, though I wouldn't have a single clue what to give someone who had more than I could ever fathom.
"I don't need anything. And everyone I need, is right here," he said, his eyes boring into mine, looking earnest and remorseful. "I'm sorry, love. I guess I should have told you, don't be angry."
Edward set down the suitcase. Then he closed the distance between us and slipped his arms around me.
"How can I make this right?" he pleaded looking down at me.
I thought for a moment about why exactly it bothered me so much before I answered, but the reason was quick to surface.
"Don't keep things from me," I told him. "Whether it's you thinking you're saving me from feeling obligated to do something or hurt feelings or whatever it is. Don't. Just tell me, okay? I'm a big girl, I can take it; I'd much rather know than not. Secrets are kind of a sore spot for me." I admitted honestly, James coming to mind again.
"Okay," Edward nodded solemnly, studying me for a moment and then asked coyly, "So do you forgive me?"
"I suppose," I said grudgingly. I couldn't stay mad at him. My anger fizzled as quickly as it flared. "And as long as you let me actually get you something for your birthday."
Edward breathed a laugh and nodded.
"Anything you want, Bella," he conceded looking relieved.
XXXXX
Dinner with Edward's family was fantastic, they were all so down-to-earth and I realized how comfortable I'd already become around them. It made the evening easy and perfect. I wanted a thousand more gatherings with them like that. So much so that I very nearly told Edward we should have gone back to his parents' place because I'd become attached to all of them.
But I didn't. I held my tongue because a stronger desire overruled that thought immediately. The thought of having Edward all to myself so we could finish what we started before we left the house effectively and thoroughly evicted the thought of going back to his parents' from my mind.
The only downside to the evening was the paparazzi showed up and snapped pictures as we left the restaurant. I felt just as disoriented and anxious about them snapping pictures with their blinding flashes and barraging us with questions as I had in New York. To make it worse, a few of them managed to follow our car to the hotel and since it didn't have one of those cavernous entrances like the place Edward had stayed at in New York, we had to walk through them again to get into the building.
I had groaned internally when I saw them waiting for Edward and Emmett outside the restaurant, not just because I knew how unpleasant it could be walking through them but also because I knew then that my "secret" weekend get-a-way with Edward was officially no longer a secret. Jess was sure to see the pictures. In turn, she would promptly freak out and tell the family, which would result in Jake most likely getting even more upset with me for allowing myself to be "used" again by Edward.
The thought infuriated me. I definitely needed to straighten things out with Jake and the sooner the better. I hated that his perception of Edward was so completely off the mark. But despite the fact I hated the way he acted and the assumptions he held about Edward, I knew it was only because he loved me and was trying to protect me from what he thought Edward was and how he could hurt me. His reactions and assumptions were misguided, but I knew his heart was in the right place, and for that I loved him. It had killed him when the whole James thing came to light. And also, quite simply, I missed my best friend. I would never survive this next stint of Edwardless days if I didn't have Jake either.
All these things swirled endlessly in my head as we headed to the room, but when the door to the suite closed behind Edward and me, all those worries, concerns, fears and frustrations instantly washed away. It was as if I could feel the world settle in its proper place, where all that was left was Edward and me.
Everything was right and perfect. Even if it was just for this one last night, it was. And I planned to enjoy every last minute of it while it lasted.
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