This one is really short, but the next few will be over 3k words, so I'll make up for it.

What do you think Capitol's darlings do?

She has been sitting on a chair next to the bed for a while now, not talking, just looking at me. I don't really know what to say to her, so I don't talk either.

Katniss has bags under her eyes, matching mine. I don't know why she hasn't been sleeping, but it has probably something to do with the Games. About half of the tubes have been removed tonight. I feel a bit less like a zombie and more like a human again.

I haven't slept a lot tonight. My head is a mess of memories and things that feel like memories. There's Valeria's father, comforting me when I should have been the one comforting him. There's Ayla, screaming at me when I told her I'd leave.

Then there's Valeria, pleading desperately for Katniss to help me, to save my life. The last words she said directly to me. - I love you.

There are fragments of memory coming through, things that aren't really memories. Valeria telling me to keep fighting, to not give up, to fulfill the promise, the pact we made. White light, everywhere, coming close to me, but never touching me, but taking her away again.

Thinking about it now, it makes me shiver a bit and I look over at Katniss who is still not talking.

I'm about to tell Katniss that she can leave if she wants to, that she, for sure, needs to be someplace else, when she quietly says, "I'm sorry."

Confused I look over at her. Why is she apologizing? She didn't do anything wrong, she wasn't in that arena with me. "What for?"

Katniss sighs and now looks up to meet my eye. "I wanted to help you... but they wouldn't let me send anything."

I swallow. "I... thank you. But that's not your fault."

She looks down again. "It feels like my fault."

I shake my head. She shouldn't think about this, shouldn't let it bother her that much that she can't even sleep. "Please... They wouldn't have allowed us both to survive... They..."

I look down on my hands. I feel like crying again. Katniss doesn't respond, she's silent once more.

I sigh, then address her again, "When can I leave this place?"

"This is your last day. Tomorrow they want to start with the festivities - the people of the Capitol are impatient."

This hits me harder than I expected. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have to sit and pretend and watch them die one by one. "Thanks for... at least telling me."

Katniss nods. She takes her time with responding, picking the right words. "Today they'll make you eat something real, then they'll do this special treatment that removes all your scars."

I frown and shake my head. "I don't want them to remove my scars." The scars are the last thing I have of her. I would rather have them remind me of everything else, of everything horrible than have nothing left that connects me to Val in any way.

Katniss shifts on her chair. "I... I don't know if they will allow it, but you can ask them to not do it."

I nod as an answer. I eye up Katniss again. She looks sad. I don't really know her that well, but maybe I should bring it up, "You don't have to visit me, you know? You have other places to be, for sure."

"Oh no. That's okay,", Katniss says, "I am your mentor after all. I would have wished for Haymitch to visit me last year."

I want to ask her more about it. I'm curious how this played out last year, but I don't want to invade Katniss' personal space. So instead I say, "That's nice... thank you. But I don't want to be a burden."

Katniss shakes her head. "Don't say that... you'll be out of this place in no time and then we can all go back home."

Home. District 12. I want nothing more than skip all of the fake show here at the Capitol and see my family again and I see it in Katniss' eyes that she misses hers too. "Do... do you visit the Capitol in between Games too?"

Katniss shakes her head. "No. Why would I?"

The day of the party comes to my mind - when I talked to Valeria on the balcony. Now I know what a Capitol's darling does, but maybe Katniss is safe from that since she is with Peeta. "I just found out that some of the victors do."

Katniss shrugs. "Maybe they like it here, but I don't."

She doesn't know... so I better stop talking about it. "I see why. You miss your family at home."

The ghost of a smile lays itself on Katniss' lips. "I do... I miss everything about home."

I try a smile and say, "Three more days. Then we're going back."

At that moment the door opens up and the avox boy brings in food. He places the tray on my lap again and Katniss rises from the chair. "Alright... see you tomorrow morning - when they let you out of here. And please - eat this."

I nod. "See you tomorrow."

She walks away and once again, I'm alone. I look down at the tray. They gave me bread this morning - the first solid thing I've eaten since the arena. Now there's a piece of meat in some kind of sauce and potatoes.

I should probably be excited to eat again. I am just not hungry, even though I have slimmed down.

With a sigh, I pick up the fork and start eating. There's no way around this, I'm afraid. I think of Katniss and Peeta again. I don't really remember them a lot from school, which is strange. We are the same age after all.

Peeta was in my class for a while. I'm sure of that. But we were never anything like friends. When I dropped out of school I never saw them anymore.

I think I was once in Katniss' house in Victor's Village during the past year. I fell a few feet while working in the mines, hit my head. I'm not really sure how that all happened, but I woke up at a fancy house.

Of course, her mother is a healer in our District, so I figured they must have brought me there. Katniss wasn't there, as far as I know, but her sister treated me. But I have this vague thought of hearing her voice when I was there. I should have asked her about it... But no, it would probably have made her uncomfortable.

I pick up a potato with the fork and look at it. All of this is surreal. I'm at a secret hospital in the Capitol when I'm really just an idiot from the coal mining District. I don't belong here