Okay, here's the latest. Seems like I'm heaping angst upon angst with these updates but actiony and more lighthearted stuff will kick in a few segments from now. I promise. Hopefully you can bear with me until then. Sorry for the abrupt ending but I needed a cutoff point desperately. More to come soon, take this as you will.
Also thanks to indigo, eyesdown, livulmann. You all are awesome as are your fics! :D
To anyone else reading this though, if you could be so equally awesome as to leave a review, I'd so completely appreciate it! Thanku in advance!
Brody dozed off for a few hours beside Carrie, who thankfully hadn't had any more nightmares. Hearing his cellphone buzz on the bedside table he stirred, noticing a text from Zahira.
"Just checking in on you and Carrie, hope all is well. If there is anything you need, please ask."
Smiling he replied with a quick thank you, then got up to stretch his legs, get some water. Careful not to wake Carrie he slipped out of bed and out the door.
Going to the front he noticed a medium sized cardboard box next to the sofa. It wasn't his, that he knew, and he wasn't sure where it had come from. Walking over he noticed a note taped to the side.
"Some stuff I gathered up from Farrah's room, as asked. Hope there's a clue in here."
Recognizing Maggie's handwriting from the med instructions she'd given him, Brody picked up the box. Figuring she must've brought it with her earlier and in all the chaos forgotten to mention it.
Setting it on the coffee table, opening the flaps he noticed some sketches, notebooks, children's books, a stuffed cat, and dolls of the Barbie and baby variety.
Picking up one of the latter he noticed she was wearing a pink onesie, similar to the dozens Jess had received at her baby shower for Dana. Brody couldn't help smiling. Apparently only actual baby clothes were suitable wardrobe for one of Farrah Mathison's dolls.
He started to go through some of the drawings and the notebooks when he heard footsteps.
"Brody where, I..I need my pills! BRODY!", Carrie cried, flinging open the bathroom medicine cabinet as he came up behind her.
"Hey, easy they're right here. I have them right here."
Handing them over with a glass of water, once she took them his arm went to the small of her back and they walked to the living room.
"You hungry? I can whip us up something. Maybe Zahira can order us take-out?"
"I'm fine.", Carrie said hoarsely, shaking her head as Brody shook his.
"You haven't eaten since last night, Carrie.", he said sternly as she shrugged, sat at the kitchen table.
"Listen either you decide what we eat or I'll be forced to. And if I decide you have to watch me juggle whatever I cook."
"Oh no way..no fucking way!"
"Shit, maybe I'll put on a clown act right here in the kitchen. I got the hair for it, I know way too many stupid jokes. Just give me some makeup, a pointy hat made out of newspaper..."
Even though she made every effort not to, she couldn't help creating that picture in her head and couldn't help laughing at it. Laughing hard at it. Watching her Brody's heart swelled about four sizes.
"You Sergeant Brody, are the biggest fucking dork!"
"Hey I've been called worse.", he chuckled sitting across from her, reaching to squeeze her hand.
"So, you a little hungry yet?"
Giving him a soft smile, taking it as a yes Brody leaned in to kiss her. When he pulled back, holding her face he thumbed away a tear.
"I'm sorry I just-"
"Hey, it's okay."
"I just wish you didn't have to deal with this. You've put your fucking life on hold for almost two days just to see me like-"
"Whoa..hang on a second. In case you can't tell my whole fucking life now consists of story hour and making fluffernutter sandwiches. Don't get me wrong, it's better than I could've hoped for. But I don't care what the circumstances were or are. I have you back, Carrie. At least for this moment I have you back. And shit, if that's not worth putting everything on hold for-"
"But Saul, Quinn, Danny, everyone! They know you're here because of me, Brody. If Farrah wasn't still... you know they'd have taken you into custody."
"They haven't though. Not yet.", Brody reminded.
"Let's just focus on one thing at a time here. Getting Farrah home to you is all that matters right now. Even Saul acknowledged that."
"Yeah..you..you're right.", Carrie sighed before yawning.
"You tired?"
"A little, but that's normal. I should really eat something though."
"Well you better tell me what you want otherwise-"
"Alright, pancakes okay! I want pancakes. At least I won't see you juggling Bisquick boxes."
"What's to say I won't?", Brody teased as he stood to take out the ingredients, while Carrie glanced over at the cardboard box with Farrah's toys and books. Eyes wide she stood up, walked over to it.
"Brody where did you-"
"Oh, shit.."
Quickly Brody ran up to close the box but knew it was too late. She'd already seen all of Farrah's things and he felt like an idiot leaving them out in plain sight.
"Carrie I'm sorry.", he sighed as she sat down, pulling the box onto her lap.
"I asked Maggie to bring over some of Farrah's drawings and things, see if there was a clue in there to where she'd be."
"Smart.", Carrie sniffed, wiping her eyes.
"I thought so at the time.", Sadly Brody sat beside her, rubbed her shoulder.
"Are you alright? I'll call Maggie to come back and get the box. It's not-"
"No, Brody it's fine. Really."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Well, if you're sure. So,who's this guy?", he asked, reaching for the plush cat and making it walk up Carrie's arm, headbutt her shoulder.
"That, would be Merriweather.", she laughed.
"I take it you gave him that name."
"Yes, many moons ago.", Smirking she took the cat back from him.
"Farrah loves him though. She has to have him to sleep with every night.", she said before her eyes clouded over.
"I bet Samir didn't know that."
Brody held her a little closer.
"We'll find her soon, Carrie. You know we will." Putting the cat back in the box, he went to close it but Carrie shook her head, reached for some of the other items.
"I noticed she has a lot of books."
"Yeah, she does. But every time I tell her to pick out a bedtime story she'll pick out the same one I've read her a hundred times."
"Well everyone's got their favorites.", Brody shrugged, reaching into the box again.
"Can I assume this is her favorite doll?", he smirked.
"You went all out with the wardrobe for her, you know. Jess had these onesie things in every color after Dana's baby shower."
Smiling down at the doll he didn't notice Carrie's smile had faded. He didn't notice her demeanor change at all until she quickly stood up and crossed the room. Gripping the back of the chair as she tried to take deep breaths.
"Shit, Carrie what the...look, let me call Maggie alright, see if she can-"
"NO! No..don't call her. I won't..I can't talk to her about-"
"Alright, talk to me then.", Brody begged but she didn't turn around.
"Fuck, Carrie. Whatever this is can't be half as painful as what we've already put each other through!"
"You don't know that..", she said softly.
"Well I can't know until you tell me. C'mon, what is it about Farrah's doll that's got you so.."
Trailing off he looked at Carrie, who'd turned to look at him with tears and a too familiar looking pain in her eyes.
The kind he'd known after he'd lost Issa. After he and Jess were first married and her being late turned out to be yet another false alarm. But Brody couldn't wrap his mind around Carrie being in the same situation. He just couldn't. Walking over he reached for the doll, picking it up.
"Carrie this outfit, you didn't buy this for..."
When she turned away again his suspicions were nearly confirmed, but he still had to ask.
"Were...were you..?"
Seeing her nod Brody stood looking dumbstruck, fighting the need to sit down from the shock of it all.
"But you...you and I were always. We used-"
"Not always effective.", she said with a half humorless laugh, half snort. Like she still couldn't believe it herself.
"Carrie, I-"
"I didn't even know until I was two months along and then-"
Knowing how her sentence would end Brody walked up, pulled her into a fierce hug.
"I'm sorry, love. I'm so so sorry.."