When the Stars Start to Fade

by LittleMermade

What if they didn't send past victors into the arena in Catching Fire but brand new tributes? Valeria Hadley is devastated when her brother Cato doesn't return home. Quickly she hatches a plan to become a tribute herself and kill the tributes from 12, but she certainly didn't expect to find something else in the Quarter Quell - love. OCs/AU

31. Cyo we are not Katniss and Peeta

Sorry again for the shortness of the last chapter. This one is looong.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviews (almost) every chapter! You guys motivate me :)

Cyo... we are not Katniss and Peeta.

Like Katniss had said, they wanted to fix my skin yesterday, told me multiple times that it would be good for me, that it was standard procedure to do it. I refused. Eventually, they gave up and just let me sleep.

This morning they brought me clothes - finally - and removed the rest of the tubes. Now I'm sitting on the bed, waiting to get out of here. I really want to leave this place, but on the other hand, I know I'll have to watch the Games if I do.

When the door opens, I look up. It's one of the doctors. "Congratulations. You may leave now. It is our advice that you don't do any physically demanding tasks for about a week."

I just nod and stand up, walking over to the door. These are the first steps I take since I've arrived here and for that fact, I guess I'm doing pretty good.

Once I'm out of the door I see Katniss and Peeta waiting for me. They are holding hands - they never did before the Games. Peeta smiles at me and says, "You look a bit better..."

I try a smile. "Thanks... they told me, I'm ready to leave."

"I certainly hope so. Your prep team and Portia are already waiting."

I frown. That means it can't be long until I'll have to watch the Games on a stage in front of the whole damn country. "Okay..."

Quickly Katniss and Peeta lead me through long hallways until we reach an elevator. In silence, Katniss presses the button and we all board it to go up several levels.

When the elevator doors open, we step out again. Immediately Peeta grabs my arm and drags me after him and Katniss. I didn't know we were in such a hurry. Then a door is opened and quickly closed again behind the three of us.

I look around. A storage closet, full of clothes and wigs. Confused I turn to face my mentors when I'm met with someone hugging me instead. I recognize the voice immediately. "Cyo... I'm so glad you're here."

I hug Portia back quickly and mumble, "Thank you..."

Then she steps back again and Katniss says, "Are you sure they can't spy on us in here?"

Portia turns to Katniss and nods, "Absolutely... this is relatively new. I was there when they built it and there are no cameras or something like that hidden."

What is this about now? Somebody is spying on us? I turn to Katniss and Peeta now too and am about to ask when Katniss beats me to it. "Okay... listen Cyo. I know this is hard, but you need to put on a brave face today, and tomorrow, you need to be exactly who they want you to be."

Now I'm even more confused. "Who they want me to be? Who are they? What do you mean?"

Katniss looks down. "The Capitol. President Snow. You are not the victor they wanted... so you have to become that."

I stare at her. A thousand things cloud my brain. I'm not exactly the victor I wanted, too. But what are they expecting of me? "I... I'm afraid I can't follow."

Katniss is about to answer, when Peeta stops her and says, "Once you are a victor... you need to represent the Capitol accordingly. Last year Katniss and I didn't represent it accordingly. There were uprisings in some of the districts, rumors of a rebellion because we tricked their system and both came out of the Hunger Games alive.

"This year, it's not as bad as last year. But they still would have preferred the guy from District 1 as a victor - strong, stupid, and perfect representation for the Hunger Games. You are not... You only had one kill and tried to do what we did last year in a way. That reminds the people of Panem of us."

Uprisings, rebellion. Big words. I almost can't believe what I'm hearing. The people taking back the power. No more Hunger Games. How amazing would that be? "What am supposed to do? How do I not remind them of you?"

Peeta looks at Katniss undecided, she nods briefly and he continues, "You need to reassure everyone that winning together was just a dream of yours - wishful thinking. You knew that it would never happen and... tell them the Hunger Games is a small price for the districts to pay for peace."

I stare at him, shake my head automatically. "No... I can't act as if I like this shit! This needs to end... why did this revolution you're talking about not happen?"

Peeta holds Katniss tighter and swallows. "The Capitol... it's too powerful. They sent in peacekeepers to execute everyone who tried to rebel. The people are afraid, they eventually went back to normal. Katniss and I... they threatened us if we don't comply."

I press my lips together. They threatened them. Maybe they do that to all victors, that's why there is such a thing as Capitol's darlings.

Before I can answer, Katniss speaks up again, "Do you love your family, Cyo?"

My family... that's what they threaten you with. I take a deep breath, then nod. "They will hurt them if I refuse to act along... won't they?"

Katniss nods. "President Snow threatened to have my sister killed if I don't make sure all of Panem believes Peeta and I are madly in love and that there was no hidden agenda, no rebellious action."

I think of my two little brothers. I can't let anything happen to them. "So... I follow that narrative tomorrow in the interview. What about today?"

"There isn't much you can mess up today... There was a time when you talked to Valeria, that you both could win, that you could make it happen. Don't react positively to that if they show it. And look grateful, when you are crowned."

I remember that talk I had with Val. I automatically look down. Valeria is dead.

Peeta's voice makes me look up again, "Cyo... I understand you are sad. I'm really sorry."

I swallow. Sad... if only I were only sad. I let it go, however, and nod as an answer. "I think I can do that..."

We are all silent for a few minutes. Then Portia speaks up again, "Okay... now he's coming with me. If you want him to act like a victor, he should look like one."

Katniss and Peeta agree and in no time we are out of the storage closet and Portia drags me to the prep-room. There's the possibility of a revolution - of no more people dying in the Hunger Games, of people not starving in the Seam anymore. But I can't feed it or my siblings will die.

Portia sits me down and the prep-team is all over me right away. They take off the clothes they gave me in the hospital, but immediately pause. Confused I look at them and ask, "What?"

One of them holds a hand to her heart and says, "Oh love... it's horrible. Couldn't they do a better job?"

That's when I realize she's talking about the scars. "They offered it to me. But I said no."

Now she looks even more shocked. "Why would you say no? We are all jealous when someone can get this procedure and you say no."

Luckily Portia intervenes to save me. "Let's not bother him with it, okay? We don't have that much time - or you won't have time to get ready yourselves."

That shuts them up quickly. No further questions are directed at me during whatever they do to make me look more presentable. They are chatting about the party tonight and about fashion. I don't really listen.

After what feels like too long, Portia sends them away. I briefly look after them and sigh, "Thank God..."

She grins and shakes her head. "Oh... they are not too bad. You should know other people from the Capitol."

Oh, I do. I remember that awful party before the Games started. "You're right... so, what am I gonna wear?"

Portia smiles and presents two suits. One is in a warm grey color, elegant and simple. The shirt is bright red. "I made this one after looking at the footage from the interviews 25 years ago. It's the same colors your aunt wore."

I look at the suit undecided. I don't know anything about my aunt. My mom won't ever talk about her and watching those Games is not something that would be allowed in our house. I have no idea what she wore in her interviews, so I just nod.

The other suit is all black, doesn't stick out to me, but then Portia holds down on one of the cufflinks of the jacket and bright spots appear all over it. They look like little diamonds, like little stars. I stare at the suit in silence.

Portia speaks quietly, "I'm afraid those are also not the real stars..."

I try not to let this get to me too much and grit my teeth. I know my hands start shaking again so I look down. After a few seconds, I look up again and nod, "Val would have liked it..."

Portia nods and hangs the suits up next to each other. "Which one do you want today and which one tomorrow?"

I look at both of the suits again. If I wear the black suit today, I'll have to talk about it with everyone at that banquet. If I wear it tomorrow I'll only have Caesar Flickerman to talk to.

Hesitantly I point at the grey and red suit. "I want to wear that one today."

Portia nods and switches the lights off on the other suit again. "That's alright... you'll do really well."

I know she means to encourage me about the things we talked about in that closet, but I'm still terrified. I thought it was over. Now it turns out, my family is in danger.

I get dressed and Portia makes sure everything sits right. When she's finished, she steps back and nods. "Now you look like yourself again."

I look down briefly, then face her again. "Thanks, Portia..."

She smiles again. "Of course, love..." Then she checks the clock on the wall and says, "We should go... the ceremony will start soon."

I nod and follow her out of the room. We walk past all the other doors in the hallway until we reach an open space where several people are already waiting.

As we come closer I hear Peeta say, "You can stop freaking out now, Effie. Look, there he is."

At that moment Effie spins around. She has chosen silver as her color today, that's for sure. "Oh, good... I was worried we were behind in schedule. Let me look at you, Cypress."

I let her pull at my jacket without protest. "Yeah... I missed you too, Effie."

She practically ignores my comment and keeps talking about how we are late and then about the Victory Banquet that will be held afterward, clearly excited.

I'm almost glad when several people come over to us and make us line up for the ceremony. Above I can hear the anthem and Caesar Flickerman's booming voice greeting the audience. They are already cheering.

My prep team is sent into the elevator first. They are ecstatic for this. The applause increases when they are introduced. Then Effie is sent out. 'For the second time in a row', Flickerman announces. This will, for sure, bring her pride and joy. I feel like she does care about me, that she also cared about Peeta and Katniss, but she doesn't know that my victory is not ideal.

When Portia steps on stage, the crowd goes wild. She probably doesn't really care for it. Sure, her career will benefit, but being cheered on by the people of the Capitol isn't really what counts for her. She's too humble.

Peeta and Katniss are about to get on the elevator when Peeta turns to me and smiles. "It's going to be okay..." I nod and they are gone.

Caesar announces their appearance above, "And in their first year as mentors - Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!" The crowd goes wild. People shout out their names, stomp their feet, clap ecstatically. They couldn't love this more. It goes on for minutes before one of the people shoos me into the elevator and it starts going up.

While I'm going up, Caesar's voice is getting louder, "And now, the moment you have all been waiting for - Ladies and gentlemen, the victor of the Third Quarter Quell, Cypress Donner!"

Right at that moment, I reach the top and the elevator-walls around me drop back down into the ground. The lights are too bright, almost blinding. I resist the urge to shield my face with my hands and look around.

There's a huge audience, reacting to my appearance in a similar way than to the one of my mentors. For a moment I forget what I'm here for and just stare at them. Then I realize I'm supposed to do something and hesitantly walk away from the platform that brought me up and to the center of the stage.

I can't look away from the audience. Hearing them cheer before was bad enough, but now that I'm seeing them, it's a whole different level. They really enjoy this. Those people watch the Hunger Games - like some sort of play, some sort of show. They don't realize it's real - that people are forced to kill each other, that the pain is real.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and I automatically flinch. Caesar Flickerman starts laughing. "Cypress! I asked you how you are doing."

I blink a few times. Oh, great... I didn't even hear him. I clear my voice and nod. "I... I'm happy to be here."

Hopefully, he won't ask any more questions. Caesar looks at the audience. "We are happy to have you... right folks?"

At that comment, they start cheering again. Thank God... no more questions. Instead, Caesar waits until the crowd calms down a bit again and leads me over to the single chair on stage. He announces something about being excited about watching the Games now and the lights get dimmed.

Okay... I can do this. I can't mess it up today, Peeta said. They start with the reaping in District 1, only show bits and pieces of it. Seeing Rex, confident as ever, fighting with others over who can become the tribute, is strange. It's as if they are fighting to be executed.

When they switch to District 2, I have to look away. I'm not ready to see her again, alive, and volunteering for this shit show. But I know I have to watch it, so I look at the screen again. She is beyond beautiful in the recording. Her eyes look brighter in the contrast to her dark dress. My hands start shaking again, so I hold onto the arms of the chair.

Finally, they move on from District 2. It's tragic to see everyone go up onto that stage when I know they'll be dead three weeks later. I stare at Ayla who saves her friend, looking into her eyes I almost feel like she knows she won't make it.

Then there is Kalina. She looks terrified. All I ever remember of her is fear. I remember her crying at night in the tribute center, I could hear it. Then they show my own reaping. I don't even remember what I thought at that moment. I only remember looking at Mace, then walking up to stand next to Effie.

What they show of the parade is very little, they quickly move on to the interviews. They don't even show everyone's interviews, but instead, they show huge parts of Rex's interview, and right after that how Val comes on stage.

Whoever made this video sure had the job to mock me with it. It feels surreal to watch her talk, to watch her smile when I know I'll never be with her ever again.

I realize that I'm probably staring at the screen with a blank expression now, so I shake my head and try to concentrate. I most likely look hella stupid whenever they show my reaction.

I try to mentally distance myself from all of this, as if I'm watching the Hunger Games at home, not knowing any of those who have to participate. It seems to work for me during the scenes at the party. Nothing interesting, just dancing and talking.

That should be all, now they'll go into the Games, but they don't. Confused I lean forward in my chair. It's a small room, a boy sitting on the couch and a girl sitting in a chair next to it. I recognize them as Val and Marlon.

"Did you ever fall in love with someone before?"

My heart skips a beat. This is how I remember her. Soft-spoken and thoughtful, not like she talked in those interviews, not fake. This is Val. I swallow. I cannot cry again.

Marlon seems surprised, but he still answers her.

"Yeah... I mean, everybody knows how that feels, I guess. But... but why do you want to know?"

Val looks down.

"Because it is the most annoying thing to ever happen. It clouds your thoughts with stuff that is not important."

Then there's a pause, they are sitting in silence for a few moments. Then Marlon asks.

"Would you say that it even overtakes the nervousness a person should feel before going into the Hunger Games?"

"Speaking hypothetically... I would say so."

I grit my teeth. I wish I could have somehow been there for her that night, that we could have met up again. But this also shows me, why Katniss and Peeta were so paranoid when we talked earlier. The Capitol has eyes and ears everywhere.

The screen fades to black and then comes right back. Everyone is standing on their platforms. Hearing that voice brings the arena back- just a little bit.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Obviously they weren't in anyone's favor - not even in mine. The Games begin. For the first time, I see the 'bloodbath'. The camera-perspective switches a lot, it's portrayed as the mess it is. Eight people die.

They show Emerald killing a kid with her ax, show Rex fight Summer, and the tributes from 4 killing a running boy. They show Val stabbing the girl from 10. I shiver. I don't even want to know how they are prepared for this to kill so effortlessly.

Then they show Kalina running into the woods and me, grabbing the nearest backpack and disappearing as well.

There's a cut and it's suddenly night. I watch myself walk through the forest and run into Ayla. I point my knife at her, but we quickly form an alliance. Then they switch over to the Cornucopia. They show the careers arguing, well... Rex and Val arguing.

Then some of them leave the camp and kill the girl from 9 in the forest. They show Kalina trying to steal food from the Cornucopia. She didn't even get a backpack, so she has nothing. Rex and Emerald tie her up.

When the others come back, I know what's to come. Val will kill Kalina. I have this urge to look away, to not listen, but I know it is expected of me to sit and watch every second of the three hours they are presenting.

I hear Val talking to her, but Rex quickly shuts her down. The knife in her hand is shimmering in the moonlight and when she brings it closer to Kalina's throat I shut my eyes. I can't watch this.

When I hear another voice, I open my eyes again. That's what it must have looked like inside the caves. Some of the careers chase after the boy from 10. He doesn't put up much of a fight and Val's district partner kills him with his sword.

The next thing is Ayla, Conan, and me. Ayla is worried about Conan because he is so weak. Oh... that's on the evening of the fourth day already. We never had much food, to begin with - only a pack of nuts and a few pieces of dry fruit from Ayla's and my packs combined. I see myself suggest stealing from the careers and Ayla shuts it down as dangerous. Then I leave when they are sleeping and do it anyway. Val hands me a backpack at the Cornucopia.

Right after that, they show a gigantic wave breaking out of the wall, rolling towards the Cornucopia. That's no coincidence - the message is clear: Break the rules and we'll destroy you.

I saw it from the forest that night, it woke us too, but I never imagined it to be that horrible. It hits the careers when most are still half asleep and traps two of them inside the Cornucopia immediately. Rex, Marlon, and Val pack supplies and split up.

Then they pack multiple days into a montage. Rex killing the girl from 3, the wolf mutts attacking, them ripping Conan to pieces and us on the tree, Ayla killing Marlon and fighting Val, the boy from 5 being killed by Breeze in the caves, Ayla and me arguing and me leaving.

Then there is the birds. Of course, they play that part in full. I see myself sitting, leaning against a tree, being woken by them. It goes on for way too long, I feel myself become nervous again, hearing my family's voices. I want to go home - I need to go home.

My stepfather screaming at my brothers doesn't make it any better. Finally it ends and they show a montage of all the others who were still alive by that point, being attacked by the birds too. They all had a family to come home to. They even mocked Ayla with the voice of her dead mother.

Disgusted I swallow my anger. Stay calm... don't react, don't let them see how much you hate this.

Then Val and I meet again, our first kiss... I feel pain again - as if my wounds were opening up all over again, but I know it's not real. Then the thunderstorm and Breeze being killed by falling debris in the caves.

I know what's next - and I'm not keen on finding out how that went down. The feast.

They start with me approaching Rex and our fight. I involuntarily flinch when I see him stab me with the sword. Quickly, perspective shifts to the mouth of the Cornucopia where Val is holding a knife threatening Garner, but then she attacks Rex with it and quickly hides.

Ah... that's how she avoided him. He chased the wrong person. The arena shakes and the holes open up. They show Rex fight Garner. It doesn't last very long until Garner is killed, but they are nowhere near the Cornucopia anymore.

They switch to Val who is in a panic, doing everything she can think of to save my life. That's when I realize even more how much I failed her, how it would have been better for me to die then and there.

They move on quicker again. They show us talking and Val seeing Ayla and climbing up that wall - it gives me anxiety to only watch that. They show Rex being attacked by some sort of lynx. That explains why he was injured when we met him again. Last they show Ayla's death.

I suffer through the bear attack in silence, dreading what's about to happen. From the moment we meet Rex at the Cornucopia, they show the whole thing.

"I could make this quick, Valeria... but you don't deserve that. You shouldn't be called a career. It's pathetic."

I feel anger rise inside me again. It feels wrong to sit here and helplessly watch as he tortures her. They still show me the whole thing. I only realize how tense I am, how my hands are balled into fists when Rex is pulled away from Val.

The fight between Rex and me is brief. He tries to stab me with the knife a few times, but misses, still too surprised about me attacking in the first place. Out of pure luck, I rip his aorta open with the spear and it's over. His last move is to puncture my injured shoulder with the knife, then he dies.

It breaks my heart when I see Val - when I see her crying over me. I take a deep breath when she screams at the sky for Katniss to help me. Only now in the video, I can see the moment she decided to die instead of me.

There's a change in her face. She's not desperate anymore, but afraid, her voice calm as she starts with the fairytale.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Damn it! I didn't want to cry, didn't want them to see that they did break me with this.

Then she tells me she loves me... and just like that, she stabs herself, shaking, crying. And another tear rolls down my cheek and another and I can't help but sob as I watch myself cradle her - helpless, desperate.

The video ends with the announcement of me being the victor. Of course, they don't show how close they came to no victor at all.

The lights become brighter again and quickly I try to wipe away my tears and stand up. Caesar announces the arrival of the president and Snow enters the stage. He greets the audience and Panem and says how happy he is to crown the victor today.

Then he walks over to me, a golden crown in hand, and looks me dead in the eyes as if studying them. The corners of his mouth then twitch, forming a small smile, as if satisfied with the realization that I have been crying.

He raises his hands up, lifting the crown over my head and says, "Congratulations..." as he places the crown on my head. He might as well have spewed venom in my face. This is not a benevolent gesture, this only shows me that he owns me now, that the Capitol owns me.

Then the crowd cheers. Clapping and stomping again. And I remember that I should look grateful, so I do my best to fake a smile. That's all I can think of doing, that's the most happiness I can muster while there's someone in the back of my head screaming that Val is dead, over and over again.

The rest of the night is a chaos of voices, food, and dancing. I can't tell who I am meeting and why I need to attend this party, but sometimes in the morning we finally leave the president's palace.

Katniss eyes me up when we arrive at the tribute center, on our floor, finally. She then nods and says, "You did well... now sleep. The interview isn't going to be any easier."