Chapter 7 - Everything

Author's Note: You all keep blowing me away with the reviews for this story. Reading each one of them makes all of this so worth it. So, thank you.

As ever, Nathalie is a true star, and seeing as this is a first for me in some ways, she has been an absolute rock - cheerleading and guiding at the same time, in her own inimitable way. Love you so much.

This chapter is dedicated to Aimee, because her wonderful, supermegaawesome story "The Closer" is a gift that keeps on giving, and she wanted this chapter to come out as early as it could. And so here it is: this one's for you, my dear friend.

"I allowed my own resentment to cloud my judgement, and I believed the worst of him from Louis. That's what hurt him so much. So, try and tell me again how I'm not responsible for his panic attacks," Donna said, her voice strained.

"You're not," Harvey's quiet voice interrupted her.

Jumping slightly in her place, she turned around to see him staring at her, his eyes kind and concerned. She ended the call, before scanning his face anxiously.

"Harvey, hey." Her hand reached for his arm in a subconscious effort to keep him in place. "Are you OK?"

"Are you staying?" he asked, his own palm covering hers on his arm.

She gazed at their hands for a moment, before asking, "Do you want me to?"

He nodded, squeezing his palm, "Yes. I do."

"Then, yes. I'll stay," she met his gaze.

"Good, then I'm OK," he replied, a small smile gracing his face. He nodded towards her phone. "Everything good with those two meddlers?"

"I… uh," she looked at him, her own mouth lifting in a hesitant smile, as well. "They're not meddlers, Harvey. They're our friends."

"Meddling friends, yes," he quipped, before turning serious and running his hand through his hair. "Donna, what you were saying - you know, none of what happened with me is on you. "

She shook her head, before stalling him, "Are you sure you're feeling better, now?"

He sighed, "I am. I promise. And you have to let me say this, alright? It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, Donna."

She looked away, her eyes refusing to meet his. "Of course, it's my fault. I pushed for answers that you didn't really have, and then, left you because I couldn't deal with it. And if that wasn't enough, I made you feel like shit every single day because I couldn't stop Louis…"

"Donna. Hey, just stop, alright," he reached for her shoulders, stalling her self-recrimination. "You have to trust me when I tell you that this isn't on you." He waited till she looked at him. "Please?"

She saw the sincerity in his gaze, and sighed resignedly, "I don't understand, Harvey. What else am I supposed to think? You started having panic attacks when I left you."

"I did. But, it still doesn't make it your fault. You couldn't have known it would happen. My mind is my own, and you're not responsible for how it's wired," he said gently. Seeing that she still looked uncertain, he continued, "Look, there's a lot we need to talk about. I'd much prefer it if we did it inside - after, we've gotten some food into you. And don't even think about telling me you're not hungry," he added, seeing her about to interrupt.

She smiled and followed him inside.

Breakfast with Harvey and his brother was an experience. Having only heard anecdotes from their childhood from Harvey, Donna loved getting Marcus' side of things, and learned a few things about Harvey that she knew she'd be able to use later to blackmail him.

Like the fact that he once had a major crush on his friend Ricky Garfield's mother.

While Harvey shot murderous looks at his brother, Marcus happily regaled her about the way Harvey would find excuses to visit their friend's house, just so he could spend time staring at the woman.

"Actually, that doesn't surprise me, at all, Marcus," she said, as Harvey turned his glare on her. "I mean, there's a reason he's known as the best closer in the city."

"Donna!" Indignation coloured Harvey's voice.

She snorted and squeezed his hand, "You know I'm right, Harvey."

Marcus guffawed heartily, before looking between them and adding slyly, "Did I mention that Mrs Garfield was a red-head?"

Her hand left Harvey's, while he turned to look incredulously at his brother, "I'm going to kill you. Slowly and painfully."

Marcus smirked and reached for their plates, "Just stating a fact, dickhead. She was, wasn't she?"

"Marcus…"

Donna laughed, "Come on, Harvey. What's the big deal? It's not like we both are the only red-heads you've known, right?"

A loud cough left Marcus' mouth, as he moved towards the kitchen, "No, not the only ones he's known. That's for sure. Attrac…"

He stopped as a balled up napkin came flying towards his head. He caught it easily, and grinned at his brother who was indicating the door with his hand.

"Out."

"You're kicking me out of my own kitchen?"

"I am," the lawyer's voice had turned stony.

"Harvey," Donna broke in gently, "Come on. Let him stay. It is his kitchen, you know?"

But Marcus had sensed his brother growing tense, and smiled understandingly at them, "It's fine, Donna. I need to go to the restaurant, as it is. I'll leave you two to it."

He squeezed his brother's shoulder apologetically, and left the room.

As they sat there at the kitchen table, Donna looked uncertainly at Harvey, her hands fidgeting with the napkin in her own hands. He watched her hands for a little while, before reaching his hand out to stop her fingers.

"I'm sorry," he said, sighing. "He's always been a bit of an idiot, especially when I brought friends or girlfriends over."

Her heart skipped a beat.

Friends or girlfriends?

Which one of those was… No. Don't even go there, Paulsen.

Shaking herself out of her treacherous thoughts, she smiled, "As are most siblings. Laura was the same. Scratch that, she was the worst. Marcus is absolutely amazing in comparison."

His eyebrows went up, "The elusive Laura Paulsen. How come I've never met her?"

"Because, I've never introduced her to any friends that I intend on keeping," she said, looking meaningfully at him.

His eyes went wide, before he cleared his throat, "She was that bad?"

"That bad," she said, her voice deflating slightly, as she lowered her head.

He gazed curiously at her for a little while, before squeezing her hand again, "That's a pity. I'd have loved to meet her."

She felt her heart skip a beat again, and she raised her head to meet his knowing gaze. She smiled, her eyes filling with tears, and before she could overthink it, she reached up, pulling him into a hug.

His arms went around her waist, as hers encircled his shoulders, both of them ignoring the discomfort of having to hug while still being seated. She dug her chin into his shoulder, and closed her eyes tightly against the tears still running down her cheeks.

"God, Harvey. I'm so sorry," she gasped. "You have no idea how much."

He squeezed her waist, and pulled away to look at her, reaching his thumbs to brush the tears from her cheeks.

"Donna. I told you before, and I'm telling you again. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did what you had to do, and I get it. I could never begrudge you for it. I was hurt, and I didn't understand it at first. But I do now. And you had every right to do it."

"But, I…"

"Hush. You keep interrupting me," he said, reproachfully, reaching for her hand and tugging her out of the chair. "Now, listen. We're going to go to my room, and I'm gonna have some things I want to say, and you have things you probably want to say…"

He looked questioningly at her, while she rolled her eyes.

Yes, idiot.

He smiled and nodded, "I thought so. But one caveat. We let each other finish what we need to say."

Donna smiled, knowing what he meant.

No more trying to guess at his feelings.

"Deal."

He pulled her out of the room, "Good."

As Harvey tugged her further into the house, Donna felt lighter. His fingers were warm around hers, and she found herself enjoying the way his palm fit against her own.

Friends.

They were friends again.

She felt the turmoil of the last two days ease up, and she squeezed his hand, and smiled when he turned to look at her. As they reached the foot of the stairs, however, she felt the phone in her jeans pocket vibrate.

She groaned to herself, as Harvey looked questioningly at her, "You gonna answer that?"

She hesitated, before reluctantly dropping his hand, and pulling the phone out. Showing him the display and grimacing, she saw his face fall, "Yeah."

He smiled sadly at her, "You should answer it."

"I… it's just that I've been ignoring his calls since before I got on the plane to come here," her face was apologetic.

He nodded, and pushed his hands into his pockets, "Go on."

"Louis," she said, doing her best to keep her annoyance out of her tone while putting on an air of innocence, "What can I do for you?"

She grinned when she saw Harvey smirk at that. However, as he turned to leave, intending on giving her some privacy, she reached out and squeezed his arm.

Stay.

He nodded, and indicated the drawing room and they both made their way to the couch, as she turned her attention to her boss.

"Donna," Louis' voice was loud over the line, "Where the fuck are you? The Kleinman merger needs to be typed up. Are you at Harvey's? I knew it, this is just another of his ploys to get you to go back to him."

Donna looked worriedly at Harvey, but he merely rolled his eyes, before pulling out his own phone to check his emails.

"Louis!" She interrupted his tirade, "I'm not at Harvey's, alright! You've got to stop assuming things!"

Harvey's eyebrows went up at that, and she mouthed, "technicality" at him. He gave a low chuckle, and returned to his screen.

She continued on the phone, her voice turning cold, "Jessica already told you he was doing nothing of the sort. He never was. In fact, the way I see it now is that you were the one who kept seeing me as a prize that you won."

"Donna. That's not true."

"Isn't it? When Harvey told you why he paid my salary, you accused him of being incapable of doing that, didn't you?"

"Because he is."

"No, Louis. He isn't," she met Harvey's eyes as she spoke. "And I hate that I allowed my own anger to cloud my own reason and forget just how much he'd always cared for me. And I hate that I let you use my resentment to hurt him."

Harvey had tensed up at her words, and she tugged at his hand again, willing him to hear her out. He let her intertwine her fingers into his own, anchoring her to him.

I hear you. I'm not letting go.

"Please. He was jealous of us, and he couldn't bear the fact that I took his money away, as well."

She scoffed, "You didn't take anything from him, Louis. Not me. Not his money. I left him, you didn't take me from him. Get that through your head, alright. As for the other thing, you have no idea how wrong you are about who he is, Louis."

Harvey looked stunned at her admission, and his eyes turned glassy.

"Is that what he told you?" Louis' voice turned sardonic.

"He didn't tell me anything, Louis!" she hissed, angrily, "I told you once, how Harvey and I were. Remember? I know who he is."

She looked at their intertwined hands, and then at him. Louis couldn't see them, but from the grunt she heard, she knew he'd got her meaning.

"So, that's what this is about. You want to go back to him."

She shook her head, "You know what? I'm tired of answering that every single time, and right now, I'm not sure what I want to do. What I do know though, is that I'm taking a sabbatical, as well. I need time to figure some things out."

"Really. All because Harvey isn't here? He didn't even bother informing you about his so-called..."

"Yes, Louis. Because, I made him think he had no right to. That was on me!" she admitted, quietly, unable to meet Harvey's eyes as she did, "And now, with him being gone and everything else that's been left unresolved between us, I need time to deal with it."

"Donna, please. You can't do this to me now."

"No, Louis. I'm sorry. I really am. But this isn't about you, this is about me. I need this. And as for the Kleinman briefs, I already had them typed up before I left. I'll also arrange for a temp..."

"You know what, Donna. I don't need you to do that. You were always going to eventually pick him over me, like I knew you would."

He hung up before she could say anything else.

She closed her eyes in frustration.

Honestly.

"Hey," Harvey's tentative voice broke through her thoughts.

She looked at his anxious face, "He's just…"

"Louis," he said, softly. "Look, Donna, I know you said you were staying. But are you sure? I really don't want you facing his wrath if you don't have to."

She shook her head, "No. Harvey, I came here for you, like I told you. I'm not leaving here without you. We came to that firm together, and…"

"And?"

She hesitated a little, before deciding on telling him the truth, "... and when you didn't show up yesterday, after our fight on the day before," she swallowed as her eyes welled up, "I couldn't take it. I just knew that something was wrong. No one, no one, would tell me anything."

"Donna…"

"No, I mean, I get it. I know why they couldn't, Harvey. And, honestly, a part of me was even happy that you had the support you needed. But, I… I hated it. You always tell me everything. And suddenly, I was on the outside looking in, and I didn't know what to make of that," she finished, with a sigh, and looked away from him.

"I'm so sorry, Donna," he moved from his position next to her, to kneel in front of her on the floor. "I… I just couldn't tell you what was happening, because I knew that it would hurt you. And, it was important to me that you didn't consider yourself responsible for it."

"Why? If I'd known…"

"You'd have come back to me?" he shook his head. "That would have been the last thing I wanted."

"I thought…"

"I wanted you back. I hoped for it. But only when you were ready, if you were ready. Not because you felt sorry or obligated to."

Jessica's words made more sense to her now, and she appreciated all the more, how much Harvey had truly respected her need to move on, even as he struggled with his own mind.

"I was so stupid. And angry, and I guess…" she hesitated again, wondering how to phrase what she had to say next. "I guess a small part of me liked believing that you were desperate to get me back. Even after you hired Gretchen."

"Why?"

"Because, I missed you, and the idea that you didn't need me anymore… Like I said, I didn't know what to do with that. It felt wrong. "

He placed his hand on hers, "I missed you, too. And I was trying not to. That's why I treated you so badly after you left, and it's not an excuse. If I pushed you away, I wouldn't have to miss you."

She looked away, the pain of those first few days threatening to drown her again.

She heard him sigh, and when he spoke, his voice was full of remorse.

"I'm so sorry. You were right, you know?"

"About what?" she asked, still not looking at him.

He squeezed her knee, "About me treating you like a stranger being far worse than if I treated you as an enemy."

She turned her head to look at him now, "Harvey, no, that wasn't… I was angry when I said that."

"But it isn't any less true. I was wrong to do that. You've put me first for so long, and I got so used to it, and took it for granted. And losing you made me realize just how much I'd come to depend on you just being there, whenever I needed it. I'd settled into a rut of self-importance and thinking we had it all, because we'd deserved it."

"Harvey, you do deserve everything you've earned…"

"That's not what I meant."

"Then, wha…, " she started, before he interrupted her.

"I was talking about us."

"What?

"I thought I'd earned your loyalty, just because we'd been doing this for twelve years. I told myself that I'd given you everything I thought you deserved. My successes were yours. My money was yours. My clients were yours. It's what I told everyone."

"I should never have questioned that, Harvey, I…"

"You had every right to, actually. Because the truth is, none of it is enough. You deserve so much more, Donna. So much more."

"What do you mean by more?" her voice was hoarse.

"Everything. You deserve everything."

She stared at him, wide-eyed and too shocked to reply. His face was suddenly so reminiscent of that night, and she found herself rising from her seat and moving away from him.

"Donna…," he stood up, as well, his hand reaching out to stop her from going too far.

He couldn't be doing this again. Not after last time. She wouldn't survive. They wouldn't survive. They had just become friends again.

"Harvey," her voice trembled. "Please. Please don't go there again. I'm sorry, alright? I shouldn't have pushed you then, not when you've always been clear that you didn't want more."

"Donna. Please, just hear me out," he begged, his hand brushing gently against her shoulder, before stepping back to give her space. "Remember, what we decided before Louis called."

Her chest shook with suppressed sobs, and she looked back at him, her eyes still fearful.

He must have sensed her fear, because his voice was pained when he said, "I've been such an asshole, and Lord knows, you have every right to not trust anything I say, anymore. But I need you, just this once, to listen. I promise, I'm not gonna run. "

"It's your house, Harvey," she said, her voice choked.

"It's Marcus' house, but I know this neighborhood like the back of my hand," he said, trying for a little levity. "Plenty of places for me to run, if I wanted to."

She glared at him, not feeling much up to his humor.

"My point is, I'm not going to run," he took a step closer to her. "I don't want to run. Not anymore."

"Harvey," her voice was small, "Please, just…"

"I love you."

She froze.

"Harvey," her voice came out as a sob. "Please."

"I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry," his own cheeks were damp now. "This is probably the last thing you want to hear now. And, I know the last time I said it, I hurt you. So much. And I know you don't feel the same, Donna. But, I cannot go on pretending anymore that you aren't my whole world."

She gasped, taking a step closer to him, "Harvey…"

He continued as though he hadn't heard her, "I know. It isn't enough. I mean, obviously, it isn't. You deserve so much more than this. Than me. But I have to let you know that when I said it that night, I meant it, and I should never have tried to take it back."

"Harvey," she had moved closer, her voice was gentle. "Why did you take it back?"

"Because, I was scared."

"Of me?"

He shook his head, "Of me. Of needing you so much, and eventually driving you away."

"Why would you think that?" she asked, shock coloring her voice.

"It's me, Donna. You've seen the way I am. I couldn't hold on to Zoey or Scottie, because it's what I always do. I don't know how to make love stick. And you're different, I couldn't afford to make you another Zoey or Scottie. Because that would truly break me."

"Oh, Harvey. Don't you see?" she was close enough to cup his cheeks, "You just said it. I'm different."

He looked confused, and she smiled, sliding her hand down to his, and tugging him still closer.

"Do you remember when I once accused you of fighting for everything that happened in the firm, but not in here?" she asked, placing her hand over his heart.

He nodded.

"I was wrong. You did fight. For me. Every time you protected me, every time you did everything to keep me from getting hurt, every time you made sure I was alright after a break up, every time you beat someone up because they hurt me," she grinned knowingly, before continuing. "Every single one of those times? You fought for me. For my happiness. And every time you did, how could I not help but fall more and more in love with you?"

"Donna…"

"Hush. You keep interrupting me," she whispered, leaning her forehead against his. "You need to have more faith in yourself, Harvey. Just like I have in you."

"Donna, please…"

"I love you, too. So much. You're the best man I've ever known, and I don't want any more than who you are. Because to me, that's everything."

He stopped any further words from her by pressing his lips fervently to hers, and she met his fervor with her own, winding her arms around his neck and pulling his head more firmly against hers.

A deep shiver went through her, as his arms wound around her waist, and he lifted her slightly off the ground. Even as he did, his tongue swiped across her lips, gently demanding permission which she granted, gladly.

Her heart sang as his tongue slipped into her mouth, meeting hers with a familiarity that neither of them had ever forgotten. Twin moans echoed into the room when the need for air made itself known, and they separated reluctantly, pressing their foreheads together, while they caught their breath.

She didn't have to wait much longer, however, before he was diving back in, going for her neck this time. She closed her eyes, and felt her knees buckle under the onslaught of emotions.

But he caught her. He always caught her.

He moved them, walking backwards, towards the couch, and when he felt the back of his knees hit the couch, he sat down, pulling her on top to straddle him. She wasted no time in capturing his lips between hers, again, using her tongue to trace the curve of his upper lip, something she'd always longed to do ever since she'd met him.

He was intoxicating. His scent surrounded her, and she lost herself in it, revelling in the idea that she'd be able to do it for all eternity. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, a place that would soon come to be her favorite.

"Donna," his voice was full of awe, as his hands moved up and down her back, and then to her sides. "Donna"

She grinned, realizing that she affected him just as much as he affected her. She pulled slightly away from him, her hands tracing his features and meeting his eyes. "Your room. We should go to your room."

He nodded, even as his hands continued their journey on her body, this time slipping under her shirt to stroke her back.

"We should," he said. "We definitely should." His hand under her shirt, however, had other ideas, as it pressed on her back, bringing her to meet his lips again. His hand now strayed to the clasp of her bra, tugging on it teasingly, while his mouth continued to devour her lips.

She moaned again, giving in to his clear reluctance to move. She pressed her hips down against his, cursing her decision to wear jeans instead of the summer dress she'd originally thought of wearing. Her action, nonetheless, did its job, as she felt him harden against her even through the layers of both his and her clothes.

He retaliated by flicking his fingers, and she felt the clasp loosen, as the cups slid over her breasts, freeing her nipples. She smirked as she saw his gaze slip down to the hardened peaks poking through her shirt.

Her breath, however, hitched when he looked back up at her, his eyes dark. And then her eyes rolled back in pure ecstasy, when his thumb slid over her left nipple, caressing it softly.

God. He was making this so difficult.

She placed her hand over his, stopping his ministrations.

"Harvey, unless you want your brother giving you shit for ruining his couch, we really need to take this upstairs," she said, pushing her fingers through his hair to get his attention, again.

He grinned cheekily at that, and she rolled her eyes.

"No," she shook her head. "I want to be able to look Marcus in the eye, mister. Upstairs. Now."

He raised his eyebrows at her, before pulling his hand from out under her shirt. "You're the one on top of me, Paulsen."

"You're the one holding on to me, Specter."

He rolled his eyes, before looping one arm under her butt and the other around her waist to secure her to him, and stood up.

She squealed as she tightened her legs around his waist, "Harvey! You're gonna throw your back out, old man."

He smirked at her, and shook his head, "Old man? Already? Such little faith."

She kissed him in apology, and he grinned into the kiss, and began walking them slowly out of the room.

He stopped however just before they reached the steps, his expression turning serious, "This is it for me, Donna. There's… "

"...no going back," she finished for him. "I love you, Harvey."

"I love you, too."

"Now, enough stalling. Take me to bed, Harvey."

"As you wish, madam."

Author's notes: Um, sorry? I had to leave it there, but I promise there's more coming. I hope you enjoyed the pay-off.

Reviewers get to choose between watching Darvey recreate their first meeting in the bar as a date or their morning in the diner after the Other Time.