7. Agony's best friend

Haley lazily swung her feet off of the side of her bed, all but wanting to get up and start a new day. Not sleepily, but more like depressed; yes, she basically didn't sleep the night, yet she didn't think she'd be able to get any, even though all she wanted to do was shut her eyes and allow everything to go away.

Haley's life has never been easy, and she has long ago stopped believing it ever could be. Escape was what she did best and anguish was her oldest of friends. Short-lived memories and glimpses of her mother are the only thing that could give her dark past some sort of color or brightness. As far as she's concerned, she's seen it all; there were tears, screams, violence, running, smoke, death and blood. There's absolutely nothing dreadful in the world that Haley hadn't seen along the course of her life, since the very first start of it, so, there's certainly nothing that could scare her, not anymore… or at least she used to think so.

So, far, Haley has been doing a great job not looking back, of course she is well aware of the topics she has faced, it's not denial, no not even close, but, she has settled that the best way to keep herself alive is to push everything behind her back and only move forward, she lives today in order to still be alive tomorrow, and yesterday well, it's gone… just like that. Maybe it's not the healthiest way, but so far it's been doing her great.

Her sleep though, it's the time when she involuntarily visits her past and have visions of the overly repeated events, but even the nightmares she has gotten used to.

Haley has adapted to the feeling of agony accompanying her every second of every day. It was just who she was. And she was okay with it.

All of this, she had no say in, it just happened to her, and it resulted in her feeling lie this all the time knowing that she's destined to have faced this and feel that way, however, the part she's in control of, she refused to let it be as depressing as the rest of her atoms, she decided to fight for her life; which she has been doing for years, traveling from one state to another, from town to town, living in motels, apartments, sometimes streets, and working different kinds of jobs, until she settled on being a singer and loving every minute of it, she loved the way singing renews her energy every time.

So, the equation altered slightly, Haley was seventy percent agony, twenty percent heartache, ten percent singer and zero percent hope for a better life.

When Haley first arrived in Tree Hill, she thought of it as a town like any other, she'd stay for a while work and find her way around and then leave when it gets as good as it can be… but emotionally, Haley ached to call some for settlement, to call some place home. And despite her initial expectations, Tree Hill has been anything but a town like any other.

Working with Dan was hell for sure, but, it's not like it's the first time she sees someone like him, in fact, Dan isn't even the worst boss she has ever had, but, there was something creepy about him that she didn't like, that she never felt was just him being a jerk… there's a rotten spirit in Dan Shaw, but she just never was able to point a finger at it.

Aside from that, she became familiar with the town itself, she liked it, maybe this was her heart looking for a stable place and finding that in a small town like Tree Hill.

And when the town was shaken with the news of two young brothers opening their own club competing Dan's, she knew Tree Hill was about to experience a whole new era, and take interesting to a new level.

And for the first time in over twenty years, Haley felt this warm feeling in her heart, it definitely took her by surprise that after all this time, hope still managed to creep and find a place inside her chest. It was the slightest bit of hope, but the thing is, Haley still hoped for things to take a better turn. And as horrifying as it was, but she eventually followed the hope; after all what could possibly happen that would be worse than anything she has seen before? Right?

The problem is, Haley always thought that scary things meant bad things only. She thought that since she has seen such ugly stuff in her life, nothing could scare her anymore. But, life has its own way of teaching her, and the latest lesson of all that she just received is that hope, happiness or generally good things could be way scarier than tons of blood and screeching screams.

Ever since she started working at Karen's, that tiny spot of hope has seemed to grow dangerously, and Haley has been feeling weird, she was sure it was a positive feeling, she was sure that she was experiencing something completely new to her, after all Haley has never had friends before, never developed routines that actually weren't boring, never let herself take the time and do something for just because she wanted to rather than needed to, never enjoyed herself… and all of that Haley got to do without even thinking of the consequences.

Because, of course life wouldn't be so smooth. Nathan Scott just told her that he has feelings for her, feelings as in feelings. The ones that develop between men and women, the ones that Haley saw unfold before her but never understood and sang about numerously but never experienced. They were feelings that never were on her agenda, and never in a million years would Haley have thought she'd find herself in this situation.

Men have wanted her, lusted her, and she knew that, she knew whenever their eyes would wonder all over her body, she knew the dark look of desire they would have, she knew their side-smirk approaching her and feeling superior to her being customers and her being the waitress, singer, baker or whatever else she was… point is, she knew all of it, and God, how she wishes this was the case with Nathan! It has to be. It always was and it just has to be pure lust. It has to be because she knows it all so well, and she knows how to deal with it.

But, then again, she never saw the dark desire, the superior look or the disgusting lick of lips on Nathan's face. Not last night and not ever!

And this, she doesn't know how to deal with.

And, now she has to get up, have a normal day including going to the club, being cheery and dress up to perform and entertain the loyal customers of Karen's with a beaming smile as if nothing is going on.

God, it is scary!

Of course it's scary, what does it mean that he has feelings for her? He was supposed to be her friend! How can they be friends when he claims he has feelings further than that? He was supposed to be the one she goes to at the end of the night, have a wonderful meaningless yet so meaningful conversation with, they would gossip, laugh, share thoughts and talk… that's what they have been doing anyway, so, how can he just ruin it like that? Having friends was all new to her, she was enjoying it, and taking her time with it, she sometimes still wonders what would happen, as in the method life has prepared to take those so called friends with her.

But, she was holding on, she chose to believe that no, the boys are her friends after all, because Haley has dealt with a lot of people, and she saw kindness that she rarely found in anyone in the Scott boys and Skillz. She even followed her instinct shutting her mind down for a moment when she gave Peyton Sawyer a chance, well when she got to know her, her heart and her mind both agreed that it was the right decision, but it was taking the step that counted, right?

So, when her mind was still wrapping around the idea that she was no longer alone in this life, that she might just have someone she could take to, Nathan came in and knocked her off her feet saying he likes her.

Overwhelmed, scared, hesitant, and not at all confident Haley James was feeling today. Scared to show her face at Karen's, scared to see Nathan – let alone look him in the eyes, scared to lose him, scared to lose the others… and scared of the future.

But, the scariest of all, the thing that left her feeling sick in her stomach, was the mere thought of even discussing wither she has the same feelings for Nathan or not.

XxXx

Nathan had no clue what to do next. He was embarrassed and whenever he recalled what happened the night before, he always found it getting distinguishably hot, aside from the heartache the memory brings that is.

Is it even a memory yet? After all, it's only twenty four hours, but it seems like years and years of thoughts, what ifs, conclusions, decisions, cursing and lack of anticipation that Nathan has gone through the whole of last night awake on the couch of their home waiting for his brother to get home; at least Lucas being late gave him an excuse to stay up, not that he could get to sleep even if he wanted to.

He has threw himself at work, well, it wasn't the best of ideas, since his job was either take care of the club or get behind the bar with Owen, both of which weren't good for his aching heart. He didn't like that; an aching heart, it seemed like one of Lucas' words, but then again, he can't think of any other descriptive words of how he's feeling.

He was desperate for answers, he needed to but his head to rest, even though he tried to keep himself busy, but the ongoing debate never stopped playing in his mind every passing second repeating the same train of questions over and over again, what's going on? Have I made a fool of myself? Does she need time? Have I lost her forever? Does she like someone else? What's going on? And etcetera… and it was driving him insane, he wasn't even hiding his nervousness, his face said it all, he wanted to scream at the thoughts to stop, but they just never would until answered.

He was wondering around the club hoping to find anything wrong that needs to be fixed so that it would give him something to do instead of being left to his intoxicating brain. But, everything was irritatingly fine.

It didn't help too that Haley was there, she came, performed and was now in her room, changing for her other song, and he wondered if she's stick around after she's done or just leave. Even though she was being herself, talking to everyone, throwing one witty comment or two, but something was of. Thank God it was; he would have lost his mind if she was completely normal as if nothing has happened at all. But, no, Haley lacked the enthusiasm today. She was pulling on a mask, but it wasn't successful. And he knew that because even though that they have both managed to successfully avoid each other but he was secretly suspecting her every move.

"Are you still not telling me what's wrong, little brother?" Lucas appeared beside him as they both stood by the door looking down at the busy hall.

"Are you telling me where you were last night?" Nathan shot back; he has waited on Lucas almost the whole night, there was a storm so he'd guess he's stuck somewhere, only he knew that this somewhere wasn't the club, he waited to talk to him, but when Lucas finally showed up, Nathan was engulfed in his own thoughts and feelings and his body was aching for rest so he didn't feel like talking to him then.

"I…" Lucas struggled to let the words out; what was wrong with saying the plain truth, he was at Peyton Sawyer's because her car broke and he wanted to make sure she made it home safely at such a late hour, but then it was pouring rain and he couldn't leave sooner until the storm was less harmful. Here, just like that; but it wasn't as simple. It wasn't just that, not to him anyway.

Nathan gave him an inspecting look and couldn't help but find an amused smirk creep to his lips; finally something that would keep him mind off of Haley, "Were you with a girl?"

"What?" Lucas hissed.

"You were, weren't you?" Nathan said suddenly becoming very interested in the conversation as he shifted so his body was now facing his brother instead of the hall.

"No, I wasn't." Lucas said wide-eyed.

"You're lying." Nathan chuckled.

"Nate," Lucas said desperately but never got to continue,

"Who was it? Brooke?"

"No!"

"Someone new?"

"Nathan, stop!" Lucas said sternly and Nathan smirked enjoying seeing his brother squirm under his interrogation. "Whatever is going inside that dirty head of yours is not correct." He said as Nathan's smirk only grew wider.

"I never mentioned anything dirty." He shook his head, "But, since you did," He started as Lucas only looked trapped, "it's either something dirty did really happen, or you wanted it to."

"Oh, come on!" Lucas protested, "You just decided that there's definitely a girl and now torn between wither something happened or not."

Nathan laughed, "I didn't just decide, Luke. Your face did." He told him never wiping the smirk off, "So, was there? Naughty business, I mean"

"Okay, so, let's say there's a girl- which I'm not saying is true. But, even if, what makes you think I'd tell you what happened?"

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Because it's you." He said, "You're the romantic one, and you get excited when catching new feelings."

"Who said there are any new feelings?!" Lucas exclaimed.

"Good night, boys. Long time no see." A deep calm all too familiar voice interrupted as their eyes caught those of Dan Shaw. "But, I heard there was quite a show at the New Year's Eve, I'm sorry to have missed it."

"Seeing you here again could easily trigger a repetition of events." Nathan said as Dan gave a smile.

"You keep impressing me with your so many qualities, your sense of humor being the latest."

"Wait till you meet my fist." Nathan said but kept his composure.

"Maybe some other time." Dan nodded, "How's my tortured artist?"

"When is it going to dawn upon you that she's not yours?" Unlike the usual, Nathan was the one with temper while around Dan this time, it's mostly Lucas that Dan stirs the nerves of, but, he has been awfully quiet.

"Is she yours though?"

Nathan stepped a threatening step towards him getting worked up as Lucas alarmed stepped forward closer to his brother to prevent any harm.

"Easy horse." Julian stepped forward in front of Dan smirking at Nathan, "If you like to speak with fists, then we'd get along just fine, but not now."

"Nate," Lucas warned.

Nathan glared at Julian for a while before sighing and stepping back, "Enjoy your night at Karen's." he said looking between Dan and Julian before turning to Peyton who was still looking alarmed and offered her a smile, "And nice seeing you again, Ms. Sawyer." He said nicely knowing it would piss off the other two men.

"Likewise." Peyton nodded with her big eyes glancing between Nathan and Lucas a few times, but as they party of three moved forward to find a table her eyes lingered a second longer on Lucas.

"I wonder what this man has up his sleeves." Nathan said with narrowed eyes and when Lucas didn't say anything, he looked at him to find his brother barely listening to him; he frowned and followed his ogling eyes to find he was following the pretty blond who just entered with their worst enemy. His mouth opened slightly as he looked back at his brother and then back at Peyton before it dawned on him.

"No!" Nathan exclaimed a disbelieving smile on his lips.

"What?" Lucas jumped out of his trance looking back at Nathan.

"No way."

"What are you talking about?" Lucas frowned in confusion.

"Peyton Sawyer? You were with Peyton Sawyer?"

Lucas' eyes widened in panic, "Shh, shut up." he warned looking around to check if anybody heard and thankfully there wasn't. He looked back at Nathan with a frown, "It's not what you think, her car broke down, she needed help and I got her home where I got stuck because of the storm." Lucas hurriedly explained, "Nothing more, Nathan." He shook his head.

However, Nathan's smile of realization was still visible much to Lucas' annoyance. Even though Nathan said nothing more, and even though he believed what Lucas just said, but he knew there was more to the story, not more events though, but more depths. Lucas said there wasn't any new feelings, and it's correct, because what he's feeling now are all the old feelings he has had for Peyton all along, even though never exactly admitted it, but Nathan was aware of the fact that his brother was head over heels for Peyton Sawyer growing up.

Who knew Lucas would let his feelings resurface once again?

Nathan groaned in irritation; this whole thing just brought his mind back to his own problems, why wouldn't Haley just come right now and say she has all the same feelings for him too?

XxXx

"Haley!"

The light brown haired girl stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes silently cursing herself for getting caught escaping. Her panic prevented her from recognizing the voice but as she slowly turned around, she was revealed that it was only Peyton. But, still, she needs to make this quick before somebody else sees her.

"Hey," Haley nervously gave her a smile as Peyton approached her with a frown.

"I waited for you last night; are you okay?" she asked analyzing her nervous movements and wandering eyes despite trying desperately to fake a smile towards her.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm so sorry I had to leave. In fact I have to now too; I'm not feeling well." She said but didn't sound at all convincing as she turned around but Peyton stopped her.

"Is everything okay?" she looked at her eyes with concern, and as Haley met her eyes and caught on, she was about to burst out crying right there. Haley has always put on a strong face and never has anything managed to get her to drop it or act otherwise. Little did she knew that all it took was for a nice man to tell her he had feelings for her.

Peyton's question and look of concern only worked as a catalyst in the breakdown process; Haley has been trying to convince herself all day that this was the end of nicely lived dream, that those nice people she has so willingly confided in are just going to slowly show their true faces, just like everybody else she has met… and that would perfectly explain Nathan's behavior; he's not really a nice guy, but he is pretending to be one, he has to be, he has to be worse than anyone she's met having succeeded in fooling her.

But, so far, no one has been helping her proving this theory, not Skillz' warm welcome of her, not Lucas' compliment on her outfit earlier, hell, not Chris' constant nagging of working something out… and not Nathan's avoidance of her.

And now not Peyton's look of concern. Her eyes quickly filled with tears but she kept on her smile nonetheless as she shook her head, "I'm fine, just not feeling well."

Peyton was not buying it, but Haley was not about to set down and have a talk or pour her heart out, she never did and she never will, besides, she wouldn't even know how to pour her heart out, wouldn't know what's in there to pour, that even if she wanted to. She just wanted to get to her apartment and hide, in order to refill her energy for more days like this.

But, God, did it sound impossible at the moment.

She looked up at Peyton again sniffing and taking a deep breath to prevent the tears from escaping, "Can I ask you for a favor?" her voice came out shaky much to her dismay.

"Sure, what is it?

"Can you please tell Lucas that I probably won't be able to come tomorrow?" she said and Peyton just stared at her not knowing what to do to help her, and Haley just assumed that her blank face was due to her requesting the blond to speak to Lucas and she quickly corrected, "It doesn't have to be Lucas, I mean Skillz- Antwon- Chris… Nathan. Just- just make sure they know, please." She said hurriedly with a mixture of desperation and plea.

"Sure." Peyton nodded and spoke warmly, "Just… just be okay." She didn't know what else to say, she didn't want to push Haley further for Peyton knew the look on her face very well, she knew she was on the edge of breaking down, and if it was Peyton, she would hate it if anyone pushed her to speak at this point.

Haley nodded gratefully as she finally made her escape from the club leaving Peyton standing there wondering what could have possibly happened that would make Haley reach this point. She was perfectly fine just the day before, whatever happened has happened last night and she just hoped it wasn't something disastrous.

The two girls didn't know how much they were actually alike. Both has gone through terrible pasts, both have faced the tragic loss of a mother, and both have had experiences that left them damaged. The difference is that Haley has seen things that can't be unseen while Peyton has felt things that can't be unfelt. But, both were left with no trust for the world.

Both of them were just starting to take baby steps towards the fact that getting to know people might not bring much damage as once imagined, that maybe just maybe they could actually have fun, and they didn't realize that in their subconscious both girls were actually encouraged by the fact that they have met someone they could relate to, even though they are still to discover just ho much, but also, both had a limit, there was a wall that can't be climbed, broken or even get close to… and it wasn't at all a far wall.

Nathan has tried to bombard against Haley's and he hurt himself while it shook her world and she had to take a break to put everything back in place before she would teach him never to come near that wall again.

Peyton looked around to carry out the dreadful task Haley requested of her, her plan was to find Nathan, Skillz or Chris Keller even if she spotted Lucas first, she would just look for someone else. It's not that she still resents him, she doesn't, he has apologized and she shouldn't hold anything against the guy, she doesn't even know him… but it's just, she doesn't feel comfortable talking to him. It has only been like three or four conversations if she counts the first encounter as one, but at least the following times they spoke, there was something wrong, something about his eyes; he gives her this look where he knits his eyebrows a little and focus on her eyes intensely making it hard not to look back, and as she does, his eyes hold a sum of things she doesn't know, but could only recognize sincerity.

Last night as they were running under the rain, she didn't know what it was, but she liked it, she felt as if she was a little kid again, like nothing mattered, like she could run and play under the rain the whole night and not have a care in the world, not caring about people, not the way she looked, not catching a flu, nothing at all. Peyton has been reserved and asked to always consider her being a high class honored lady all the time, and she felt that this rule was restricting her from a lot of things, so maybe that's why she liked the opportunity fate had brought her last night to break some rules for a couple of minutes as she barefoot under the pouring rain with a man she barely knew… but then she went as far as inviting sad man into her house.

It felt like the right thing to do, after all he was there because of her, he didn't want her to go home alone late at night, and he would have had to run back the same distance if not more to his own house in the rain, so she did what she thought was the right thing and let him until the weather was better, and she was right because rain has turned into a storm and it would have been impossible not to get sick if he have been outside.

It was maybe around the time span of two hours that he had stayed in her house both seeking heat from her old fireplace. He attempted to make a few awkward conversations but she didn't really go along, so it was silent most of the time, and just as Peyton had begun to dread the possibility of him having to spend the night, he had said that he should go especially that the rain wasn't as bad anymore.

Her thoughts were of relief as she walked him to the door with him right behind her, as she opened the door thunder had roared loudly in the sky taking her by surprise of the sudden loud sound as she jumped and instantly his hand was on her waist as he gave her one of those looks she doesn't understand and followed it with a reassuring smile telling her it's okay.

Lucas has done nothing to creep her out, but she still feels discomfort whenever she remembers his intense look or the situations that she keeps finding herself in with him.

She didn't know if it's her bad or good luck but she has found Nathan, Skillz and Lucas all standing together talking, she took a deep breath and walked towards them anyway.

She cleared her throat bringing their attention towards her when she reached them and all set of three pair of curious eyes were on her, but only one pair brought that discomfort inside her once again. "Um, Haley just left and she wasn't feeling well and she asked me to tell you that she might not be able to come tomorrow." She said shifting her eyes between then three of them and their features held concern.

"God, is she okay?" Skillz asked.

She shook her head, "I don't know, I was going to ask you if something happened."

"No, but she looked off today." Lucas replied.

"Yeah, she did." Skillz agreed.

Nathan sighed looking away as they looked at him seeing he has been awfully quiet, "Nate? Do you know what's wrong?"

He shrugged, "No, why would you ask me?"

"Um, because you're the closest to her." Lucas replied narrowing his eyes, "And now I think you actually do know."

"I don't, I haven't seen her all day." He shrugged but Lucas thought something was up still, however he let it go for now.

"Okay," Peyton started, "I think she's fine, maybe she just needs some rest." She said feeling tension rise as they nodded, "I'll get going then." She said awkwardly.

"Thank you, Peyton." Lucas said as she nodded before leaving.

Peyton went back to her table where Dan was seated drinking from his glass, "Are you okay?" he asked her.

"Yes, I'm fine, why?" she asked with a surprised smile not knowing where this came from.

"I saw you with the Scott boys, I don't know if they hurt you." He said with a slight frown.

"No, I'm fine, actually I was talking to them," she told him the smile vanishing from her face as he didn't reply waiting for her to continue, "Haley just asked me to inform them she's sick before she left."

He nodded, "Oh." He looked at her with a smile, "You and Haley are becoming good friends, I see."

"Yeah, I suppose." She nodded.

"Good, that's good." He said with a nod.

"I'm not going to persuade her to come work back for you though," she said teasing jokingly as he laughed and acted disappointed playing along.

"Damn, I thought you are finally going to be of use." He said as they both laughed and then he looked at her, "No, I'm serious; it's good to see you getting along with someone."

"Yeah, it feels good."

"But, I have to remind again to be careful of the Scotts. I don't want them to use you to hurt me." He told her just as sweat and she nodded reassuringly although it brought a nauseous feeling to her stomach; it makes sense and she can't believe she hasn't thought of this until now.

The Scotts are Dan's rival by their own choice, when they opened the club they knew they would be facing Dan and having to deal with him, and it's only natural that they would try to have stop him from hurting them especially after stealing Haley from him. She also didn't fully understand the sudden change from Lucas Scott being a tremendous jerk to being entirely sweet and genuine insisting on apologizing and being nice and also wanting to know her.

God, it fits so well and it explains the discomfort; her guts are telling her to be careful and she should follow it.

XxXx

"What are you doing here?" Brooke asked in disbelief as she opened her door to find a smirking Julian looking down at her.

Julian's smirk only increased as he moved forward despite her standing in the way of the entrance, he stood right in front of her so close, "Aren't you inviting me in?"

"It's late." She frowned not liking his attitude, "And back off."

He chuckled as he placed his hands on her waist pushing her to the side and entering the house anyway, he proceeded towards her reception and casually sat down waiting for her to follow.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" she stormed in pissed off.

"Be quiet. It's late." He quoted her sarcastically and laughed alone, "Sit down, Brooke, I'm not gonna bite you."

"You need to get out."

"I'm not here to hit on you or seduce, as much as I would love to. It's work related."

"Work?" she gawked, "What could possibly be urgent that it couldn't wait till the morning?"

"You work for Dan; you're available twenty-four hours."

"I don't work for Dan; I'm doing him a favor in return of the favor he made me." She gritted her teeth clarifying as he laughed again.

"Sure, sweetheart, if that's what you believe, anyway," he said leaning forward in his seat and resting his elbows on his thighs as he looked up at her enraged face, "Why didn't you come tonight?"

"I wasn't feeling well." She raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Uh-uh," he shook his head, "Wrong answer." He told her getting up and moving closer to her, "You knew we were going, and you had to be there."

"I didn't have to; as far as I'm concerned we don't follow a schedule."

"Wrong again. Now, I'm telling you this for your own good, Dan is testing you, if he sensed you're not taking him seriously, this deal would be off and you'd be in deep shit." He frowned for the first time dropping his smirk.

"Is that a threat?"

He shook his head, "It's a warning. I'm warning you so you would make the right decisions."

She raised an eyebrow, "Are you implying that you're here on your own without Dan's orders?" she asked sarcastically and it brought his smirk back to his lips but he never answered.

"So, now, Brooke Davis, tomorrow, you're going to go, do whatever you have to do, but you make a progress and have Peyton calling you a friend."

"I told you she already asked me to go to the tailor with her." She blinked feeling a little uneasy at the mention of her task.

"But, you still didn't go yet, have you?" he smirked placing a hand over her waist pulling her closer towards him, "Make her trust you." He said in her ear before pulling away and offering her a smile as he rubbed her waist and then left.

He left making sure to let her know that she has no choice but to cave in and completely comply to Dan's quests of her befriending no one other than his dear Peyton because he claims that he worries about her; and even though his reason seems to be noble, but Brooke can't help but feel it's not right.

However, it's not like she was given the luxury of refusing.

I couldn't help updating again, I just love writing this one. I'm sorry if it's going boring or if you find it moving slowly for now, but this is how I planned it, it had to be like this for now to show more of the characters feelings and backgrounds, like Haley's feelings and fears here, it's not done yet there's more to be revealed for her later, also for Peyton, Lucas and Nathan, and Julian. But, I promise it will get to moving faster starting from next chapter, the story is planned chapter by chapter anyway.

So, if you think it's boring or something don't worry it will get better.

And please let me know what you think, I need to know if you guys like it :)

Thank you.