Chapter 11 - Amends

Author's Notes:

I'm sorry for the delay with this update. Your reactions and comments on this story continue to blow me away. This story should soon be coming to an end; I'm thinking two or three chapters, at most.

Thanks once again to my dear superstar, Nathalie for her tireless help with this.

"Harvey?" Donna asked quietly.

They were both lying together on their bed where Harvey had pulled her to him after she'd taken care of him.

"Hmm," he responded absently, his fingers tracing soft patterns on her upper arm as he gazed unseeingly at the ceiling.

Donna wondered what he was thinking. They hadn't talked yet about what had transpired downstairs. The earlier conversation about his therapist had been illuminating. Donna marveled at the change those sessions had wrought in him: the way he let her know what he was thinking without the need for her to guess at his thoughts was something she would need to get used to. Fighting her impulse to read him - especially where his feelings for her were concerned - was also something she needed to figure out.

"What are you going to do about…" she hesitated a little and then plowed on. "What are you going to do about Marcus?"

He let out a deep breath, and moved his head, his lips landing against her forehead.

"I'm not entirely sure," he responded, a note of uncertainty in his voice. "Dr. Werner and I talked about his perspective on everything that's happened since our childhood. Our family, me included, was over-considerate about keeping him sheltered from everything that was happening. Mom, in particular, had gotten especially good at holding Marcus' well-being over my head to stop me from opening my mouth. What went down with him just now is a result of our determination to keep a lid on everything that was happening."

Donna stiffened and then shook her head, "No, Harvey. He's not a child anymore. His behavior…"

He squeezed her waist, "I know. I'm not excusing what he did. But the way I acted after my parents' split did contribute. I never went back after that; I did exactly what he said I would do."

Donna stayed quiet; she knew what Harvey meant. However, she also knew why he had done it, and she hadn't known how to absolve him of the guilt he carried. She wondered if his therapist had succeeded where she couldn't.

As though he'd read her thoughts, Harvey continued, "Dr. Werner made me face my own guilt though, and she also figured out something I'd never really thought about."

"What do you mean?"

"I was afraid that my presence here would have only caused a bigger rift," He said, quietly and continued before she could protest, "Dr. Werner made me understand that it wasn't my fault that I felt that way, though."

She sat up and looked down at him.

"She's right, Harvey. Lily, Bobby, and your brother have been taking advantage of it..."

"And my dad," he added.

Donna looked stunned, "What?"

This was the first time she'd heard Harvey say something remotely negative about his father.

She listened with growing surprise as Harvey talked her through everything that he'd discussed with his therapist.

"Wow, Harvey. That is huge. How do you feel?"

"Honestly? I'm relieved. It means I can finally accept that I did everything I could under the circumstances. My dad wasn't perfect, Donna. He inadvertently put me and himself in untenable positions, and while I don't blame him for that, the idea that things could have been different if he'd been more present does make me feel less guilty for what happened."

"That's amazing, Harvey," Donna leaned down to kiss him, her mind still processing what she'd heard and the breakthrough Harvey had evidently had. "So, about Marcus?"

"There are definitely things I need to say to him. I owe him a few facts, and perhaps, an apology for losing it with Lily and for not being there when he needed me. But I'm done with him using it against me to excuse everything he's done. Forstman, his restaurant, his illness…"

"Good." She sighed. "We should go downstairs soon."

He nodded but made no move to get up, and even though it was her suggestion, Donna laid her head back down on his chest.

Marcus stood there gaping at his wife after she'd laid into him over his brother. It was evident that she'd been waiting for a long time to say all these things to him.

When he'd made the decision not to inform Harvey about his illness, Katie's vehement objection had surprised and - admittedly - angered him. He suspected that had he not been sick, it might have been a much bigger row, quite like the one they'd had after he'd as good as blackmailed Harvey into financing his restaurant.

He felt he had been justified in holding his brother's feet to the fire over their family's split. It had taken a good two years before his dad had been able to bring himself to be in the same room as his mother and Bobby. Eventually, perhaps understanding that his mother couldn't help falling out of love with him because of how absent he had been, his dad had forgiven her and Bobby.

Unlike his brother, Marcus had seen their father's fault in this. He couldn't understand why Harvey had been so attached to a father who was never home. His mother had always been there. Taking care of them, driving them to school, and cheering them on at baseball games while his dad was usually on the road with his band.

And then, instead of staying back to help them pick the pieces, Harvey had outright abandoned them, settling down in New York and building a life that didn't involve them.

But now, Marcus was questioning everything he'd believed. His own behavior, in the light of what Donna and Katie had yelled at him, now seemed appalling.

You keep choosing the two people who hurt Harvey over him.

He'd been cruel. To a brother who'd done everything to keep him sheltered and safe from the turmoil that his own life had become. He had piled on to his brother's heartache with his own festering resentment.

Your brother loves you. You have no idea just how much.

There had been something to Katie's voice when she'd said that. Her voice had been strained as if she wanted to say more. There was also the fact that Katie had never warmed up to Bobby, and she never indulged his mother's self-pity over her estrangement from Harvey.

He wondered if it was knowledge or intuition that drove Katie's behavior.

And then there was Donna.

He'd liked her when Harvey had introduced her to him when he'd gone down to New York to thank him for the money and to invite him to the launch. He knew his brother was smitten by his new secretary, even though he tried to hide it.

Over the years, he watched Donna become an integral part of his brother's life. And though he rarely saw her, he'd heard his father gush about her long enough to know that Gordon believed that Harvey would marry her one day. His father had even told him that if he really needed to get to Harvey with an important message, he needed to do it through Donna: something he eventually did when the unthinkable had happened.

But today, he'd seen a side to her that he was sure Gordon had never seen. And it was one he never wanted to be on the receiving end of again.

She had been so furious with them, every syllable quivering with her love and protectiveness for Harvey. It could have been easy to dismiss Donna's words as being biased - but Marcus knew that he couldn't.

Donna knew his brother like one else did.

And so here he was.

Standing in the hallway next to the stairs, his entire world seemingly turned on its head. He had thought, all this time, that he was the bigger person.

Caring for and loving Harvey despite everything he'd done to their family.

Only to find it was the other way round.

Harvey had tried to do right by him despite everything their family had done to him.

It was an unsettling feeling.

He looked up the stairs, his mind whirling.

Donna had gone to Harvey a good hour back and he wasn't sure if he could interrupt them.

The only reason Harvey isn't already packing his bags is because he loves our kids.

He hoped that was true. He had to talk to Harvey and make amends for a lifetime of hurt.

He took the stairs.

Lily waited anxiously for her husband to return home. He'd stormed out of the house in high dudgeon, furious at the way Harvey had acted. She had half-heartedly tried to stop him, a small part of her knowing that it was probably a bad idea. But a bigger part of her had wanted Harvey to know that enough was enough.

She'd be hoping against hope that Harvey would be receptive to her coming to see him. He'd approached her at Gordon's funeral, after all and surely that meant that he wasn't opposed to reconciliation. But she hadn't counted on her son's stubbornness over Bobby and his refusal to accept his presence in their lives - and he'd flounced out of the house like the overgrown child he was.

Should she have seen his reaction coming?

Possibly.

But he was her son. She still loved him.

He couldn't understand the pain of a parent whose child treated them like they didn't exist.

All because she'd found love with someone who wasn't his father.

Her conscience niggled, and she paused in her thoughts.

Getting together with Bobby while she was still married to Gordon hadn't been planned. It had just happened, she reasoned. Gordon was never around and she had gotten lonely.

But she had also loved Gordon and she hadn't wanted to hurt him. Stopping Harvey from revealing her affair had been the only way to do that.

Right?

She also wanted their family to be together and once Gordon had been ready to settle down, she would have stopped seeing Bobby.

She would have.

Definitely.

Would she have?

She sighed, her mind reeling at the idea of not being with Bobby, the man she truly loved.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the slam of a car door, and a minute later, Bobby entered the room.

She looked at the shell-shocked expression on his face.

It hadn't gone well.

"Bobby?"

"Lils, I think…" he stopped. "I think we've all made a huge mistake."

She stared at him. She'd never seen him look like that before.

"What happened?"

"Let's just say that you and I, we have a special place in hell reserved for us for when we finally meet our maker."

This was nice.

Lying here with Donna, who was dozing on his chest, Harvey wished he could simply stay here - in this moment of respite - for the rest of the day. If it weren't for the fact that he wasn't in his own condo and that it was getting close to the time when Haley and Josh would be returning home, he would have done exactly that.

But he didn't want his brother's kids coming home to an atmosphere fraught with tension and unresolved conflict. He knew exactly what that felt like, and he never wanted to inflict that on his niece and nephew…

He looked down at the mess of red hair on his chest.

…or any kids he and Donna would have, if they did.

It was a conversation they'd eventually need to have.

Preferably after he asked her to marry him.

Would she want to marry him?

"You're thinking loudly again," a muffled but amused voice broke into his thoughts.

He chuckled and Donna raised her slightly drowsy eyes to his.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, blowing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes.

He shook his head and tucked the strand behind her ears, "Nothing and… everything."

She raised a brow, interest painting her freckled face, "Care to share?"

"I…" he started.

They both groaned when a tentative knock sounded on their door.

"Your family has impeccable timing," Donna teased.

"I think you mean horrible timing," he smirked, and then with a grin, he added. "And they'll be your family soon enough."

Grinning even more widely at the stunned look on her face, he slipped out from under her and headed to the door. He heard her mumble something under her breath that he didn't quite catch.

"...ask …Harvey Specter …thing coming."

He knew who was at the door before he opened it.

"Marcus," he said quietly, as his brother came into view.

"Am I intruding?" Marcus asked, his gaze falling on Donna who was sliding off the bed and smoothing her dress down.

She shook her head as she reached them, her hand brushing against Harvey's back, before she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I'll leave you to it. Where's Katie?" she turned to Marcus.

"Probably in our room," Marcus pointed to the one that was one door down from theirs. "She's…"

"Pissed at you?" Donna asked tartly.

Marcus stayed silent and merely looked contrite.

Harvey had watched this exchange with mixed emotions. He was grateful that Donna and Katie were fighting in his corner, but it still pained him to see Marcus looking hurt and sad as he watched Donna's retreating figure.

He sighed and then reached down to squeeze his brother's shoulder. "Donna will come around, as will - I'm sure - Katie."

Marcus turned to look at him, his eyes full of pain.

Harvey was transported to a time in their childhood when his little brother, who was being bullied by the Fosters' son from down the street, had come to him, his lip bleeding, his knee skinned and those blue eyes filled with tears.

He hadn't been able to take it then, and he couldn't now.

So, he simply pulled his brother into a hug. Marcus let out a soft sob against his shoulder and Harvey patted his back.

"I've been such an asshole to you," Marcus said, a sigh escaping him as they pulled away.

Harvey shook his head and smiled wanly, "I haven't been that great towards you either."

He punched his brother's shoulders lightly and nodded towards the stairs.

"I could use something to eat," he said, adding wryly. "Or drink."

Marcus chuckled lowly as they started moving downstairs, "Maybe just water for me. I still have to go and pick up the kids. Katie usually does that on her way from work, but as it's her day off…"

"Right. I'll come with you if you don't mind."

Marcus shook his head and smiled, gratitude all over his face, "Not at all. The kids would love that."

They made it quietly to the kitchen where Marcus handed him a cold beer, while he himself grabbed an iced water.

They headed out to the porch, overlooking the younger Specter's modest lawn. The heat from the late afternoon sun hit their faces as they settled down in white wooden porch chairs.

They sat in silence for a short while. Harvey took the familiar neighborhood in. He'd grown up here and Marcus' home was only a few houses down from their Dad's old house - his childhood home.

He was looking forward to showing it to Donna.

"Thank you," Marcus said quietly.

Harvey turned to look at Marcus, who was looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

Harvey raised his eyebrow in question.

"For staying. I know you did it for the kids."

Harvey nodded slowly and widened his eyes, "Well, I couldn't very well leave without knowing what happens next to little Pinkalicious, could I? It's a very engrossing adventure."

Marcus snorted, as Harvey chuckled and took a chug of his drink.

"I didn't just stay for the kids, Marcus," he said, and off his brother's smirk, he added. "Maybe at first, I did. Katie was persuasive. But, the more I thought about it, I realized I also wanted to stay for you. For us. I'm not gonna repeat the mistake I made last time."

"Harvey, no." Marcus shook his head and set his bottle down on the table between them before facing Harvey fully. "I've been holding everything that happened against you for so long, and I never bothered to find out what had really happened. What Mom was doing. What Bobby was doing. And for how long you carried that with you. How do I even begin to ask for your forgiveness after all that?"

"It's alright, Marcus. You didn't know," Harvey said gently. "And I didn't want to tell you. You were young and Mom…"

"Had promised you it wouldn't happen again. Only it did. Over and over." Marcus shook his head. "All while she made you keep it to yourself."

He banged his fist against the arm of his chair and stood up, and Harvey watched quietly. Marcus moved restlessly towards the railing of the deck. He stood leaning against it for a beat, his head bowed.

"Marcus…," Harvey began, starting to rise from his chair as well, but Marcus interrupted him.

"All those times I treated you like shit over this, why didn't you ever say something?" Marcus asked. "Defend yourself?"

"Because I believed it to be true."

Marcus looked thrown.

"You believed the split was your fault?" he whispered.

"Of course, I did. After everything happened, I regretted telling Dad. Maybe the family might have stayed together if I hadn't opened my mouth. That's what I thought, anyway."

Marcus looked curiously at him, "You don't anymore?"

"Well, yes and no," he shrugged, finally rising from his chair and moving towards the railing as well. "I wish I hadn't told Dad the way I did. He forced it out of me that night. But I don't blame myself for telling him. He needed to know. And Marcus, you need to let me say this. I'm sorry, too, for not coming back after it happened. I should have been there to help you. To help Dad."

"You were hurting, Harvey. I didn't make it easy on you, either. I should have tried to find out more. Had more faith in you. Realized that my big brother wouldn't just leave us with no good reason. Did Dad know?"

"Know what?"

"How long you had known."

"He did."

Marcus shook his head, "And he still forgave them that?"

"Dad always hated conflict, Marcus. You know that. Plus, I'm sure he realized that he'd not been a great husband to Mom."

Marcus' eyes grew wide, "He told you that?"

"A few times. I never believed him then. I thought he was just trying to make excuses for Lily, and so he never pressed the matter. But now… yeah. I've been talking to my therapist, and she's been helping me make sense of a lot of things. One of those being that Dad's prolonged absences were a factor in my issues."

Marcus sighed, "I guess, we were each looking at opposite ends of the same shit-show. I saw Mom's loneliness and Dad's obliviousness, you saw Dad's loyalty and Mom's infidelity."

Harvey nodded.

"I really am so sorry, Harvey," Marcus said finally. "For everything. I should have let you know I was sick, but I was so stubborn. Katie was livid."

Harvey raised his eyebrows, "She was?"

Marcus nodded, "She's never really liked Bobby. When they visit, she tries to give him a wide berth whenever she can. And whenever Mom starts in on how she…" He paused at the look on Harvey's face and shrugged, "Well, Katie doesn't stand for that much, either. She always changes the topic."

Harvey stayed silent. He had his suspicions now on why Katie was so solidly backing him and made a mental note to thank her later.

After a short beat, Marcus let out a soft chuckle, "Donna, though..."

Harvey looked at him, "Hmm?"

"She's a live-wire. I'm guessing she told you…"

"She told me she had words with all of you."

"Oh, she did. She was spitting fire," Marcus said smiling wryly. "I've never seen Bobby look so dumbstruck before. And I'm sure I looked like a guppy out of water, myself."

Harvey smiled, "I wish I'd been there to see that."

"She loves you," Marcus said. "I mean I knew you were head over heels for her from the second you met her, but today I saw just how much the opposite is true, as well. That woman would go to war for you if it came down to it."

Harvey's smile widened, "I would, too."

"I know you would," Marcus agreed, thumping him on the shoulder. "Don't let her go, Harvey."

"I won't.".

Marcus looked at him and a slow smile spread on his face.

Harvey looked at him curiously, "What?"

"Nothing." Marcus shrugged, though the smile didn't leave his face.

Harvey rolled his eyes and looked at his watch, "Should we get going?"

Marcus looked at his own watch and nodded, "The kids. Yes. Let me go tell Katie."

They headed back inside, and then upstairs.

When they appeared in the doorway to Marcus and Katie's room, they saw the two women laughing over something. When they caught sight of them, Donna immediately made a beeline for Harvey.

"All good?" she asked, stepping out of Marcus' way and into the hallway. She tugged on his arm and pulled him away from the room to stand in front of their own.

"All good, or as good as it can be," he told her, placing his hands on her waist.

"That's great, Harvey."

"So, what were you two laughing about when we got there?"

"Oh, Harvey. That is between us sisters-in-law."

She gave him a wink and then slipped into the room, leaving him standing speechless in the hallway.

He grinned.

Well-played, Donna Paulsen.

Author's Notes: Thanks once again to everyone that has stuck with this, reviewed and encouraged me with it. I cannot tell you how grateful I feel.

Reviewers get to have either Harvey or Donna show up on their doorstep to whisk you away for a night on the town. Let's keep it platonic, alright - they're both taken, after all. No coming on to them. ;)