Black Ice

by evenstar8705

After the Dominion War, Kira is contacted by a mysterious Cardassian man claiming that he has a long lost relative of hers that has just awoken from cryostasis... This work is a sort of alternative ending/sequel to Bad Seeds. Credit to fellow fan writer Iniki Melset for chunks of this story.

It seemed like just another day in OPS for Kira Nerys. She was exactly in the zone she wanted to be in, so deeply concentrated in work that she almost felt like she was in a trance or riding the wave of an induced high. It was therefore jarring when someone snapped her out of it.

"Commander Kira, there is a message for you incoming from Cardassia Prime."

"Is it urgent?" she responded. "From where on Cardassia and from whom?"

Since the end of the Dominion War, she had found herself entangled within the reconstruction of that planet far more than she would have liked. She would have never dreamed of such a thing during her days in the Resistance, but she had countless Cardassian contacts and acquaintances. She might even call a few of them friends. Garak, Melset, Lang and others came to her mind. They usually contacted her from Perali city or another well known metropolis and always declared themselves unless something was terribly wrong.

"I'm afraid the location is remote and the Cardassian man is a doctor we've never had call before. He is using old frequencies and said it is a personal matter. The call should be taken only by you and in private."

"I guess I'll have to take it in my quarters."

What could it possibly be? She wondered as she had her first officer take over for her and slipped into her room. She passed her shrine and sat at her desk. She straightened her uniform and then activated the screen.

The face that greeted her was completely unfamiliar. She knew the medical field was dominated by women on Cardassia. This man appeared to be of medical background and of the older generation. His hair was artificially black. His wrinkles and sagging eyes belied the fact he was no longer young. How arrogant of nature to sap the proud strength and youth from a Cardassian man!

"Kira Nerys, just the woman I was looking for."

"How do you know who I am? I could be some imposter!" she cracked. "Speaking of imposters, who are you?"

"I am Dr. Akil and I was familiar with your face long before you grew to womanhood."

That statement made her uncomfortable, "Is that so?"

"Yes."

"What is this personal matter you must discuss with me? I am a much occupied woman. This better not be a question about my health. I have Dr. Julian Bashir here. I'll transfer him to you and let him holler your ear off at such an insult."

"Don't cut me off when you hear this, but Gul Dukat hired me for an important project during his early days in command of that station."

Kira visibly tensed. Gul Dukat was dead but the invocation of his name made her inwardly squirm. She absolutely was tempted to dismiss this Cardi and ignore his message but she reminded herself that association with Dukat didn't always mean the other person was a criminal or dangerous. She was associated with him herself, though never by preference. She was usually a victim of the circumstance like so many others that crossed his path. He would argue it had been star crossed.

"What project?" she was stoic.

"I am a cryogenist," he explained. "Don't laugh. That is a medical science usually shelved and ignored. It's expensive and risky business. Dukat was a man desperate to preserve a certain woman. He was a man deep in love, if you can believe that."

"Get to the point, doctor!" Kira's heart was already racing.

"I couldn't keep my subject in cryo for much longer and I was finally able to discover a treatment for her cancer. There will always be a chance of relapse, but for now, she is healthy. She thawed six months ago but she needed therapy to recover her motor functions. She had to learn to walk again. She suffered no brain damage that we can see. She is dazed and suffering some amnesia. She was incredibly lucky. If Gul Dukat were alive, I would have reported this happy news to him."

Kira grimaced at him. He fixed his eyes on her and lowered his voice.

"We both know Dukat is gone and that is the best thing for the universe! In light of his absence, I am obligated to notify the woman's next of kin to fetch her. That would be you, Nerys."

"Let me guess. Your subject is Kira Meru, isn't it?"

The doctor only looked a little surprised, "You know your mother was his mistress already?"

"He told me on what would have been a momentous birthday if she was still alive just to be smug and hurt me. I had just ruined him at the time after all."

"Ah, that was petty and unusual of him."

She smirked, "You knew the man well, did you?"

"No!" the doctor insisted.

"He was being entirely himself during that call. But back to the subject of my mother…"

"She was put into cryostasis so that she could be cured of her lung cancer in the future ages ago. He couldn't stand to let her go. He hoped she could recover during his lifetime, but he became resigned to the fact that it might be later. He left false records that she died in hospice within a hospital nearby. Instead he gave her over to me at great expense and taking a great leap of faith. There's also an old message from Dukat for you he added later."

"A message actually addressed to me about my mother?" she was incredulous.

"Yes. Out of respect and common courtesy, I didn't read it or watch it. I trust that it will be less mean spirited than the one you received before. I think he was a different man when he recorded this."

Kira was stiff and silent so long the doctor had to speak again.

"Do you intend to see the message and collect your mother, Kira? I suppose we could keep her here-"

"No!" she blurted. "Just-just-just let me think for a minute!"

She put him on hold as she clutched at her hair and inhaled sharply. Her experience with the Orb of Time flashed through her head as well as the lies she had been told when she was a child. Her father had told her that Meru died of malnutrition in the camps. Thanks to the Orb, she had been sent back to see what had really happened as a woman named Luma Rahl. She discovered that Meru had been taken by soldiers to become a comfort woman and, in the end, had become Dukat's willing mistress!

Nerys could barely contain her outrage at this perceived betrayal by her own mother. She couldn't stand that the woman she had been raised to admire could allow the Cardassian man she hated so much and that was the leader of the Occupation, causing the untold suffering to millions of Bajorans, to touch her! Nothing seemed worth tolerating that! Not even the lives of her family were worth such indignity! Kira had almost assassinated her mother and Dukat then and there.

Many things stopped Kira Nerys from committing the act of terrorism. She had promised Captain Sisko she wouldn't abuse the Orb of Time and disrupt the time line. Killing Dukat certainly would alter time and not necessarily for the better. She realized it was probably only because Dukat fell for her mother that he spared the Bajorans at all. She doubted if the Prophets intended her to commit murder, especially the murder of her own kin. Matricide was a sin in nearly every culture across the galaxy. And Nerys had felt compassion for Meru in the very end. She made the right decision and ordered the couple out of the room just before the bomb she planted went off.

She realized once back in her time line the Prophets hadn't allowed her back in time to alter anything but to protect the time line. She had protected herself, her mother, and she had been forced to protect her enemy. If any other Resistance fighter had accepted that mission, they would have successfully killed Dukat. Her family wouldn't have gotten the measly rations that kept them from starving and Dukat would have been replaced with someone far more brutal than him and without a weakness for Bajoran women for certain.

She could also look Dukat in the eye and feel the private satisfaction that she didn't owe him a damn thing anymore. He might have technically saved her life but she had also saved his.

She had read the truth about her mother's fate later. Kira Meru had spent seven years sleeping with the devil. Then she had fallen ill with an unknown illness and dumped into a hospital by Dukat on Cardassia where she died soon after.

But now even that was a lie!

She took several deep breaths and then collected herself enough to resume the call.

"Doctor, does my mother know who I am, that I live, or that I might be collecting her?" she asked rapidly.

"All she knows is that some time has passed. Cardassia is in ruins outside her window. We couldn't hide that from her. She probably expects Dukat to come for her soon. I guessed you might want nothing to do with her. I've told her nothing about you. She is completely out of the loop. She doesn't even know what year it is, poor thing. I wanted to leave the explaining to you or someone else that would pick up the pieces when the truth is revealed to her."

"Such a compassionate man you are!" Kira said sarcastically.

"It may not sound like it, but I am showing more compassion than others," he insisted. "In the time I have spent rehabilitating her, I can tell you that she is a delicate thing. I know everyone else she knew or loved, besides you, is dead. She will be happy that the Occupation is over, but what is a woman out of time like her supposed to do with that knowledge? What good is it if she is alone?"

"That is a good question," Kira sighed. "I will fetch her soon. But tell her my name is Luma. I'm not her daughter but someone else she may know. Do you understand?"

"Not really, but that is exactly what I will tell her."

"Anything else would be disastrous for us both!"

He nodded, "And Dukat's message?"

She had almost forgotten it and said, "It can't kill me and might even amuse me. Send it over and I will see you soon."

The doctor's face faded away and Dukat's loomed before her again. His tone was sobering and he wasn't mocking or taunting. She had a feeling that he had recorded this message during the Cardassian and Klingon War. That was when the two of them were actually getting along almost too well. She didn't know his darkest secrets then. He seemed open to feeling remorse and to change.

"Nerys," he began, "I know you despise me taking the liberty of using your given name."

"Uh, you got that right!" she said aloud. "Even dead you irritate me!"

"I have to use your name, though, to spare some confusion…" he paused as though truly wondering how to continue. "I received positive news from Dr. Akil about someone that touches us both. You are immediately thinking of Ziyal. Put her from your thoughts. I hadn't heard good news from that particular contact of mine for years. It's not that I forgot, but I had to, in a sense, move on. I am quite conflicted. If she awakens, it will complicate matters. I wake up every morning already and wonder what you are to me, Nerys. Are you my enemy? Are you my friend? Is our relationship capable of becoming more? It shifts constantly but it is always powerful."

Kira would have killed him with the expression on her face.

"I told you our lives were intertwined when last I saw you. The truth is we were long before Ziyal was born. Tora Naprem wasn't my first mistress. My first great love was none other than your mother, Nerys. When she was taken from you, I was the one that embraced her. I sent your family rations in exchange, kept you safe as possible during an Occupation. I told myself it was a heroic and generous thing. I saved your lives."

She knew all this already and resented his justifications.

"However, I have been contemplating the past. Your words led me to it and so did this report I received from the doctor. Part of me wishes to reunite with my beloved Meru right now. I wish to wake her against all advice just to hold her. Naprem is dead, you may never come to love me, but maybe I could have my Meru back."

Kira gritted her teeth.

"I know that thinking is wrong of me. I didn't save Meru. I robbed her from you! You were only three years old. You obviously needed your mother. Pohl, your infant brother, needed her even more. I wasn't educated about Bajoran family dynamics. I was selfish and didn't want to think of the consequences of my actions. I wanted to be the hero when I was being the clueless fool. I blamed the men that snatched her from the camp. It was my order to gather women to become companions of the men here, but I wouldn't have ripped apart families if I had been there to select them. I blamed her husband for being weak. If the man had sent me a personal message begging for his wife, I might have at least considered returning her. I blamed fate and circumstance. I blamed anyone but myself. Now I wonder what sort of woman you might have become if you had your mother in your life."

Kira could hardly believe her ears. Was this an act or sincere? Which side of Dukat was winning here?

"Maybe you would never have joined the Resistance. Maybe you would have followed in Meru's footsteps and become an icon painter or a nun. Maybe a worse man would have taken her anyway and you would have starved. Maybe you would have been snatched and become a mistress yourself."

She noticed he couldn't bring himself to say comfort woman even now.

"Maybe you would have somehow managed. I don't know. I can't imagine you or her as anything but Kira. Both of you have always been mine in a way. It's why I put her in cryo and could never bring myself to destroy you, Nerys, no matter how much you cursed me or foiled me. You have enough of Meru in you and I promised her that I would take care of you. I've broken many promises, betrayed men and women that didn't deserve it, but I can't break my word to that woman."

Kira gasped.

"I don't know what we will be in the future, Nerys, or if you will ever get this message. Maybe your mother will never be ready to thaw or will expire in the attempt. Right now, I've decided I didn't freeze her for me. This is a chance to give back to you what I stole. Maybe it's just an empty gesture. Maybe it will do more harm than good. I beg you to show your mother compassion. She's going to need you. Deep down I think you still need her too no matter how old you may be now. And please, Nerys, think better of me, would you? I might never receive your forgiveness or your love. Regardless, you deserve something from me."

Kira was astonished.

"Oh, give Ziyal and Meru my love. You three were always the most important people in my life. Wouldn't you know it? You are all Bajoran! How twisted and ironic is that?"

She heard his distinctive chuckle. He flashed her a charming smile, his eyes seemed to be aware and alive for a moment as he gazed at her. She had an impulse to touch the screen as though to touch his face but she didn't do such a foolish thing.

"Farewell, my fiery Nerys."

Kira sat on the edge of her bed slowly and gazed at the empty screen. She tried to analyze and digest what she witnessed. One person had supposedly been close to resurrected from the dead and her nemesis had made it possible to give her something back?

"Prophets, help me!" she whispered like a child saying prayers before bed. "Am I dreaming? Did I enter a different universe unknowingly? Is this all some sort of elaborate trap?"

As soon as she said that she knew she needed a second opinion. Kira got up slowly, uncertainly, looked out of the viewport; she felt numb, caught in a nightmarish situation. What Dr. Akil had just told her confronted her with facts whose implications were far-reaching, touched every element of her being. A Cardassian lie? The doctor had seemed honest, but in her experience, Cardassians could not be trusted.

I have to contact Garak; he'll know what to do, has reliable sources and the means to find out if this is not some elaborate plot to initiate an underground operation with some nefarious goal.

She returned to OPS, took up her duties as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, yet Dr Akil's report and Dukat's message festered in the back of her mind like a sore in spite of her discipline. After her shift ended, Major Siyetos took over. Kira returned to her quarters, collected her thoughts, then activated the secure connection Remosi had established for her, hoping to contact Garak.

At seeing the Cardassian emblem appear on-screen, she uttered a sound of disgust. Don't you reptiles realize of what that thing reminds everyone? She shook her head, realizing she was being unjust. You are clinging to it as a symbol of hope even as you recreate a new Cardassia, in the same way as we clung to our faith.

Some minutes later, the emblem was replaced by Garak's image. He considered her briefly, his expression serious but not unfriendly. "My dear Commander Kira, what a pleasant surprise. It has been some time since our last conversation. I trust you are well?"

The Commander was disquieted when she realized he was evaluating her, but only said, "Yes, Organizer Garak and so is Gul Melset, she is on shift, cannot speak to you personally. We were concerned when we learned about the epidemic in Rodinia Province"

"As the Federation would say, we nipped it in the bud with our own doctors and laboratories," for a moment, he smiled with pride.

Seeing that Kira was distracted, the Cardassian inquired with honest concern, "Commander, it would appear something is amiss. Have there been … problems?"

His expression was open, inviting her to tell him what was wrong. Something very serious indeed to judge by her manner. I have never seen her like this.

Her voice was unsteady when she reported, "Some hours ago I received a message from a Dr. Akil on Cardassia Prime who notified me that a Bajoran woman, Kira Meru, was awakened in his cryogenic lab as a treatment for her illness has been developed. She is now cured, but has no recollections about what happened between initiation of cryogenic measures and the present; she was kept in an artificial coma until the treatment was concluded. Dr Akil considers it advisable to transfer her to Bajor."

Kira could not bring herself to say "my mother," Garak noticed.

His eyes widened slightly, a marked reaction by his normal standards. For a moment Kira stared at him That snake has not abandoned his Order ways. She wondered if she was not making a mistake, however, he already had the facts.

"I have to know whether this is the truth or only an elaborate Cardassian lie, the basis of a plot of some kind…"

Garak reacted to her sudden hesitation. "I assure you that you have nothing to fear either from me … or from Melset. We have much to thank you for, both as individuals and as a people."

"Garak, I have to know more about this … doctor. This contact, now, after so many years, the news that my mother is alive … and … a message from Gul Dukat, of all people, was included, addressed to me. What he said makes him seem almost decent, even likable. His message has upended everything I thought I knew, what I believed about him, his attitude towards me and Meru." She looked away from the screen, shuddering, unconsciously betrayed how shaken she was. "By the Prophets, Garak! I have to know the truth! Is this some kind of Cardassian lie to lure me to your world for some nefarious reason or another?" Her voice was tense, her speech strained in spite of her attempt to appear calm and collected.

With an unexpectedly gentle intonation the former Order operative who had lived on Deep Space 9 for years, posing as a plain and simple tailor as he put it, answered, "My dear Commander Kira, I take it you desire more information about this Dr Akil, want to have the matter of which he spoke corroborated before you risk setting foot on Cardassia Prime."

She could only nod, not trusting her voice.

"My duties are no longer so involved nor do they require multiple shifts, so I shall entertain myself with research to help resolve your dilemma." He smiled broadly in the way Kira detested so much. "Like old times, isn't it, my dear Commander? Who would ever expect a plain and simple tailor to have the means to solve such a mysterious occurrence?" Once again serious, he promised, "Give me some days. The results will be sent to your private terminal."

"Then I will be indebted to you," Kira smiled with an effort. "I must not forget: I know Melset would want to send you greetings."

"Indeed, and transmit mine to her." Garak added, "She always speaks highly of you, commends your acceptance of her presence on station and your willingness to cooperate. Should you need … support or a place to stay for awhile to become reacquainted with your mother, inform me. You will be offered both hospitality and the privacy you need. Garak out."

I never expected a conversation with that snake to have such an effect. She felt the worst of the tension fade, knowing the matter was now in competent hands. How deeply I detested that Cardi, hated him… but when we joined Damar to fight for Cardassia's freedom, later, when he came here repeatedly to work for Cardassia, finally joined with Melset, he revealed how he would have been had he not been forced into that career by Tain. She recalled his words when she had called him to her quarters to take away Ziyal's dresses… I would have ended up hurting her, she was innocent, saw only the good in everyone. But only a snake can understand and even love another snake without being destroyed.

She murmured to herself, "Indeed, two snakes forced onto a path they were not truly destined to take. Propaganda and filial obedience nearly ruined two lives."

True to his word, Garak transmitted the information he had gathered barely 78 hours after contact with Kira.

"Dr. Akil's credentials have been verified beyond any doubt. He was under constant Order observation because he had developed unconventional methods of healing previously incurable illnesses. His methods were accepted however, in spite of some reservations because they proved highly effective." He continued, "The following should be of interest to you, Commander. He developed a method of freezing a person's body without damaging tissue, not even that of the brain. Some of the wealthier availed themselves of this method to preserve particularly useful people or family members with deadly illness, hoping to have them revived once a cure was found. Your mother is one of the lucky ones, demonstrates his competence." He added, "The Order and Central Command were interested in his methods – but for a different, less benevolent reason."

In spite of knowing Garak all too well, the Commander inquired, "Did he tell you willingly?"

"I went to his medical facilities in person to speak to him. Strangely enough, he did not wish to speak of the matter with me, let alone give the least detail, but after a brief, quite amicable conversation I managed to convince him it would be most commendable to satisfy my curiosity."

Kira winced at imagining Garak's form of encouragement.

"He told you the truth: you are in no danger whatsoever. I swear by All-Cardassia that this is the truth. Commander, I saw your mother." His voice was low, urgent, "She looks no older than you; in fact you could be sisters. I … It would be advisable to keep your true identity a secret when you meet. She is mentally stable, but the shock of the truth could have serious consequences. Meru understands everything she is told, but is uninformed about the events of the past thirty-six years. She's still living in the time of the Occupation, is waiting for Dukat to come for her."

"How can she fail to see the ruins outside, smell the dust in the air, the people of whom so many have lost everything?" Kira asked, incredulous.

"She thinks there was a severe earthquake…" whispered Garak. "Commander, you had a vision from the Orb of Time, you saw what happened to your mother. In your eyes, she was a collaborator, betrayed Bajor, her family … but when you see her, for your sake and hers, do not even allude to these facts or you will destroy her. No one destroys an elder, neither among your people nor among mine."

Suddenly Kira stared at Garak with pure hatred. "Did you ever care about those you virtually destroyed in the interrogation chamber? Did you have a thought for their lives, regret what you were doing? You… you even tortured Melset years ago!"

"No, Commander. I was never a torturer. I was an interrogator, highly trained to extract the truth from those who were delivered into my hands."

Kira stared at him in surprise. The Cardassian actually seemed hurt. No, all of this is past.

"Whatever you were and did no longer counts," she finally said with an effort. "I am thankful to you for using your time – time you could have used for service to Cardassia – to help me."

"You are most kind, my dear Commander Kira," he said, again with that broad smile she detested so much. "And my offer stands." Garak suggested, "If they can be spared, could Dr. Bashir and Counselor Dax accompany you? Perhaps they can help Meru. And you may need their help as well. Come as soon as possible to resolve this situation which is so fraught for you, I can see it in your every gesture and in your expression. Ah, yes, do speak to Melset as she can answer other questions you may have, the more … personal ones. Tell her she has my authorization to give you information on the matters you may address."

May as well, Melset and I have developed a level of trust in the course of our cooperation. She should be able to understand what this situation means for me, the conflicts, the apprehension … and the fear.

"I agree and will contact my adjutant to prepare the handover. As soon as I know my ETA on Cardassia Prime, I'll notify you. Commander Kira out."

At hearing someone walk along the corridor, Melset turned to see Commander Kira. "Ah, Commander Kira, Garak said you want to speak to me. My shift has just ended."

"A triple shift again?"

"No, only a double one this time, which means we can discuss the matter at once and take our time." She inclined her head briefly, "Do come in. I'll readjust the environmental controls so that you will not be uncomfortable."

Kira entered with her, took a deep breath. Hot and humid, how can they stand it? Within minutes she felt both heat and humidity decrease to a bearable level. Melset went into her private area and returned wearing a wide coat gathered at her waist with a belt.

"A Kelani cold-weather garment, very practical."

And very familiar, Kira thought.

Melset pulled two chairs to opposite sides of the table while explaining, "According to Garak, we have a serious matter to discuss."

Kira decided to be direct and not adopt the Cardassian custom of gradually homing in on the problem.

"Garak has informed me that you may know details about the … use of Bajorans on the station."

Melset was broadsided by the question, but quickly rallied, "Commander, I only spent a little over two days on Terok Nor in connection with the Reymac incident."

"That is long enough."

"Then I hope my report proves helpful." For some moments Melset had the distinct impression the ambient temperature had dropped by another few degrees. "Gul Renor and I were temporarily placed under Prefect Dukat's command and assigned quarters on Terok… sorry, Deep Space 9. When I entered mine, a Bajoran male was waiting in the living area so that I thought I had walked into a trap. Dukat did have reservations about me."

Kira was listening interestedly.

"I took aim at him, but he called out Dukat had sent him to serve me during my stay." She made eye contact with Kira, "I was curious and asked for details of said services; after some urging, he admitted that, besides seeing to my clothing and quarters, he was expected to offer… companionship if required."

"And?"

"Your planet is exceedingly fertile. So I asked him why he wasn't on Bajor, on his farm as I saw he belonged to the Farmer's D'Jarra. He replied that his native village had been destroyed because there were valuable ores under the entire region. Before they were … removed, some of the population was chosen to serve in various Cardassian enclaves; he was selected because of his appearance: tall, athletic build, curly blond hair and blue eyes, very attractive for a Bajoran." She sighed, "Pressured to serve is a better description. His family was forced to live in a camp to ensure his obedience."

"You Cardassians always maintain that family is everything; apparently that only holds true of your own kind." Kira's expression was enraged. "What did you…"

"Told him to see to my quarters for the duration. At departure I gave him compensation for lost income." Melset told her, "Kelani rules forbid such … acts." She went to get ginger tea for herself and for Kira, placed the cups on the table.

Kira took the cup, met the Cardassian's eyes. That viper actually seems troubled about what was done.

The viper in question averted her glance. "Dukat and I had an argument about security breaches, especially the presence of Bajoran servants and comfort women on-station which made attacks likely. I looked around the station, as I had the distinct impression he was hiding something potentially disastrous."

Commander Kira waited patiently.

"After examining various areas, I went to report to Dukat's quarters with information about potential weak spots, but just before reaching the junction of two corridors in the habitat ring, I caught sight of a Bajoran woman who was heading towards his quarters. She was a beauty, was wearing elegant clothing, and had a young hybrid child in her arms. The woman talked to the guards at the door to Dukat's quarters." The Cardassian hesitated.

"Well, go on. Since when are you snakes so highly moral?" Kira drawled contemptuously.

"Dukat opened the door, saying tenderly, "'Naprem, my love, come in; I have been waiting for you. Do give me Ziyal,' as though they were joined." Melset added, "Normally hybrids were aborted, killed at birth or abandoned on the doorsteps of orphanages. Ziyal was luckier than most as Dukat apparently loved both her and her mother. However, he also seems to have loved Meru with all his heart or else he would not have tried to save her life at all costs."

"Sure didn't grieve for long. Next shrinecrawler after Meru? Naprem," Kira said resentfully.

Melset continued her account, "I returned to my quarters, no longer wondering how terrorists could stage devastating attacks."

"You deserved it all, each single attack, every single loss. Deportation, forced labor, enslavement, the attempt to destroy our faith, our culture, strip-mining the planet for resources," Kira snarled.

"The majority of Cardassians did not know of this; the reason for our presence was described as helping the Bajorans to reach our level of civilization. Not even I, a military, knew."

"You damn lying sp.…" She just choked back the insult. "You knew very well, no doubt participated!"

Melset remained calm, realizing that she now represented the enemy, shaken as Kira was by the news Dr. Akil had given her. "No. This is the truth. I faithfully served Cardassia, was on Border Patrol under Gul Jasad's command."

"And your subordinates never mentioned anything? You surely had listening devices all over the place."

"There were hints at times, but soldiers tend to exaggerate."

Kira was so angry that she jumped up and began pacing the room. "You would have me believe no one on Cardassia knew about this, neither the officers' wives and relatives, nor the civilian population?"

"By the Bringers of Light, I tell you, Commander, no one on Cardassia knew. I often met fellow officers' wives on Cardassia. Bajorans were described as bloodthirsty, violent primitives who killed innocent Cardassian people, men, women and children, people who were only trying to help you. Those women constantly feared for their husbands' safety."

"They feared for their husbands' safety," Kira sneered. "What about the women who were taken from their families to serve as ... whores for the pleasure of the occupiers?"

"It was Bajoran collaborators who chose them, the occupiers' willing helpers who often were even more brutal than the occupiers. They did not care whether the women were wives and mothers, or unmarried. The upper ranks had first choice from among them; the lower ranks shared whoever was left…" Melset suddenly fell silent, could not continue.

"If I did not know you so well, you contemptible snake..." Kira felt she would strangle with hatred, fell silent.

After some minutes, Melset suggested, "Commander Kira, let's try to keep to facts alone? I know I am a convenient target as the news you have received has brought old memories to the surface. But I do want to give you the information you requested."

Kira sat down, trying to regain composure, then looked over at the Cardassian woman, She does not deserve this. I came to her for information, which she is giving me.

"My dear Commander, I understand your reaction even though it injures me. Let's continue?"

"You say the Cardassians who were not actively involved knew nothing at all?"

"I assure you they didn't. Those who did know or were involved were sworn to secrecy; had they said anything, they would have been arrested at once, accused of discrediting the Cardassian military and sentenced to public execution for treason."

"And you? You seemingly did not agree with what was being done."

"At that time I only saw the Bajorans on station as security risks, thought they were like propaganda described them. All of us did." she said very quietly, "I learned the truth in Nevaris Village, during my mission."

Kira stared at her, "You were an agent, and yet…"

Melset inclined her head, "And yet, I saw….and realized." The Cardassian met her eyes, held them. "There is one request that is important to me, Commander, something deeply personal."

Melset laid her hands on the table, close to Kira's own, palm up, fingers fully spread, inviting touch, and again made eye contact, the Cardassian gesture used when showing trust. Suppressing her aversion to the contact, Kira put her hands in Melset's, was surprised at how warm and soft the Cardassian's hands felt when Melset's fingers closed over her own.

"I plead with you, Kira, make Meru no reproaches, not now, not ever. Had she not accepted the relationship with Dukat, she would have been passed on from one officer to the next, finally ending up at the tender mercies of the soldiers, would not have survived for long. Always remember, she ceded to Dukat for your sake and for that of the entire family, assured your survival as he promised to support your father and brothers. You owe her thanks for this sacrifice."

Disgusted, Kira tried to pull away, but Melset held her hands, gently but firmly.

"No, Kira, please, listen to me. Be kind to her. She was a victim, had no other way out. Meru was not suited for a life in the Resistance. Suicide? Besides being a crime against the will of the Prophets, this act would have helped neither you nor Bajor, just been one death among over six million. Fight off Dukat? End up in the ore-processing facility, to collapse there and die. No. Meru never, I repeat, never was a traitor or a collaborator. She was a gentle, loving mother who missed her children, missed her husband, and was thankful that she was treated kindly. Receive her as such, as one of the children of your Prophets. The past is the past, is immutable. When you return to the station with her, introduce her as a close relative and first see what she remembers. Put aside your negative feelings for her sake and yours." Melset's voice was pleading, urgent.

The commander looked at her in disbelief, and then inclined her head before saying with uncharacteristic hesitation, "A Cardassian is demanding compassion of one Bajoran for another – quite unusual. Melset, I will do my best to make this work."

She felt Melset release her hands. "No doubt you will now exact a favor."

"How very well you know me. What happened to Meydar and his family? If you can find out, I would be most grateful. If it is not possible, that meeting must be relegated to the past as are so many other details…"

"There is one more matter to be resolved, then …," Kira indicated Melset's terminal.

"It is up and running," said the Cardassian, "just touch that icon to keep your connection from being registered. Then we can view Dukat's message together."

Side by side, the two women considered the visuals, carefully analyzed intonation and speech patterns.

"What do you think, Melset?" Kira inquired, "You have a better ear for your people's speech patterns than any of us."

They listened to it again.

"It is an authentic recording, so much is certain. However, his facial expression and voice as to pitch and accentuation indicates he is trying to win your trust. While his words about Meru are sincere, they are not when he speaks about you. He is imitating Bajoran intonation. His ploy is to make you trust him by stressing his generosity towards your mother. Wants to win you over so that he…" Melset tried to phrase it tactfully, failed, "could … have you." She ignored Kira's disgusted comment.

She looked away, "He tried the same method on me after the incident I'd mentioned some time ago. Ah, he seemed contrite, furthered me as was his duty but was biding his time." Kira looked over. Melset seemed troubled about the fact. "He was well-known for selecting companions, cleverly disguised what he did so that he would escape the consequences. As humans say, he 'groomed them', made them grateful for perceived favors or help so that they would be willing to cede at some point." Her laugh was bitter as she added, "A Kelani was quite a challenge in his eyes, and a combative, resentful Bajoran? A victory against all odds."

"If he had not disappeared, this recording…"

Horrified, Kira stared at the Cardassian female before admitting, "At the end of his message, I really believed he was sincere, was taken in by his expression and his words, the quality of his voice…, thought he was a good man after all!"

"Ah, yes, my dear Commander, he could charm an enraged rukhar. Be happy that you have at least one family member back. Dukat?" Melset's explosive hiss of anger and derision took Kira by surprise. "Sincerity, contrition? Never. Always manipulative, jockeying for an advantage, charming unless crossed. You will say this describes Cardis to perfection, but there was something in him that…" she fell silent, shuddered. "Look at Ziyal. His mother disowned him; his wife took the children and left when he returned with that young woman. Ziyal believed that he had sacrificed all his family for her sake, was convinced that he was kind. All he wanted was to tie her to himself with fetters of guilt tinged by gratitude, had an unhealthy obsession with her." Very quietly, Melset stated, "The one who truly loved her for what she was? Garak."

"Gul Melset, I am grateful to you for giving me the information and will leave you to enjoy your downtime. And I regret…"

Melset waved the apology aside and offered, "It is station noon. Let us share a meal together. My replicator has both Bajoran and Cardassian options."

And this in spite of what I said to her…. "I would like that very much."

Melset's expression was curious, "I do not know how this works among Bajorans, but when we share a meal after such a discussion, it means trusting the other, and for the one who may perhaps has shown resentment, it means that any words spoken in the heat of anger are forgotten."

Meru passed time in the waiting room by tyring to sketch the features of Dr. Akil. She didn't draw it because she was fond of him but because it was the the one she had the most exposure to during her therapy. That was therapy for the body, of course, not her mind. The Cardassians never really beleived in treating mental health and certainly not spiritual health. To their minds, the latter didn't even exist.

Sketching was good practice since her hands occasionally and stubbornly refused to remember exactly how to function. She had made enormous progress. The nurses had been like slave drivers causing her to snap and curse and cry in furstration and hoplessness. They were puzzled by her behavior and told her she could either work at the therapy or lie down and give up. How she missed Lenora. She understood that Meru needed encouraging words and praise. Even Dukat understood that!

She expected Dukat any minute now. She was assured that she hadn't been frozen for centuries or anything dramatic like that, but she sensed she was being lied to. Cardassians were far more comfortable with deception and coddling the young and elderly that way. She could sense that something big had gone down while she slept on ice.

The staff were not exactly kind but they seemed nervous around her and she hadn't been mishandled or insulted. She was an inferior Bajoran and at least one or two of her care takers must resent having to treat her and waste resources on a pampered and glorified comfort woman. Whoever was in charge thought she was too fragile to be told any information and she wasn't demanding answers yet. She had been focusing on trying to recover.

Finally, a Bajoran woman in red came to fetch her. She had a man at her side that lacked Bajoran nose ridges and a young woman with spots that looked like bruises trailing down both sides of her neck and likely along the entire length of her body. Meru knew they must be aliens and fear flickered in her eyes. She felt like she had more than enough exposure to aliens!

"Meru?" the voice coming from the woman in red was familiar.

She squinted at her and her memory was triggered, "Luma? Luma Rahl? "

The other woman swallowed hard and nodded. Meru didn't hesitate. She launched from her chair and hugged her tightly. Luma let out a tiny sound as though she were in shock.

"I'm sorry," Meru whispered in her ear."It's so good to see someone, anyone, that I know! And I'm so glad it's you! "

"You are?" Luma uttered. "You barely knew me!"

"You were a better friend to me than most. You saved me twice!"

Luma pulled away, "Be careful, please? With yourself and with me. OK? "

"Of course! How are you?"

"Uh, I'm more concerned about you."

"I'm all over the place!" Meru laughed weakly. "But the Cardassians will finally release me! Can you believe it? Maybe I'll get to go home! After seven years!"

She gauged her friend's reaction as she stared back at her. Luma didn't look like she had aged much so that was a good sign that not much time should have passed after all. She looked more radiant than before, in fact. Her crimson outifit looked almost military mint condition. Her hair was shorter, about her shoulders rather than in a long braid down her back. She seemed calm and poised.

I wonder if she was taken in by that Cardassian that seemed so fond of her at the officer's party our first night on Terok Nor! The old man seemed really taken by her sass and Luma in turn seemed to know how to care for him, tucking him into bed like a little boy!

"It's been longer than seven years, Kira Meru," Luma said softly.

Meru paled and felt sick, but she was forced to ask, "What year is it? "

Luma gestured to the two aliens at her side. They introduced themselves as Ezri Dax and Dr. Julian Bashir. Meru supposed it made sense to bring a doctor and assumed the woman was his assistant nurse but she giggled at that suggestion.

"I'm not a nurse, Meru! I'm a counselor!"

"Please call me Kira until I know you better," Meru requested, staring at her spots. "And what else are you? "

Ezri rubbed at the spots on her neck a little self conciously and smiled nervously as she answered,"Oh, that's right! Unlike Luma, you've probably never seen a Trill before! I'm pleased to meet you!"

"And I'm a British man!" Julian Bashir bowed to her.

"Julian!" Luma growled at him. "She has no idea what that means! He means he's a Terran!"

"Look, I just wanted to know the date and the subject got changed."

Ezri pulled out a data pad, opened a calender, and she showed the woman the exact date. Her caretakers had refused to do her that simple favor. They kept all methods of records and time keeping from her. Now she realized why.

"I've been in cryo for decades!"Meru could hardly believe it.

"Yes, Meru," Luma couldn't meet her eyes.

"But why haven't you aged?" she shook her head in denial."You were near my own age! Were you put in cryo too? Is that why you vanished after the bomb went off? Dukat needed you as a guinea pig and got to keep you as back up or something? "

That made Luma laugh darkly and she answered,"Well, he did look at me as a sort of replacement for you when you were gone and he and I encountered each other agian. Long story short, I joined the Resistance, Meru, and I fought the Cardassians until they were finally driven out of Bajor. I was told you were dead."

"So the Occupation is over?"

"Yes."

Meru said a quick prayer of thanks to the Prophets. For a moment, she was so happy, she didn't think anything could dampen her spirits again. They seemed more than happy to update her on that sort of thing. Luma played recordings of the withdrawal speech Central Command was forced to give as well as raw footage of the treaties being signed with Starfleet.

But when Meru looked back into Luma's face, she quickly became troubled again.

"Why do you look younger than me?" she repeated.

Luma sighed,"I'll explain that later. You haven't asked about your family yet."

"My family!" Meru choked back tears. "I'm almost terrified to know! Did Dukat keep his promise?"

"I am very interested to know exactly what he promised you. It might be better if we go back into those faulty memory banks of yours. Tell me what happened after that bomb went off and let's go from there."

"Oh, I-"

"No rush!" Luma said very gently. "We have so much catching up to do, you and I."

Meru enthusiastically nodded her head to agree.

"I need to take you from this horrible place first."

"To where? Will Dukat be waiting for us?"

"Do you want to see him again?"

Meru got the sense her answer was incredibly important and said sincerely, "I don't know. Probably not."

Luma gave nothing away, "Well, the station of Terok Nor doesn't belong to him and no Cardassian rules Bajor. It's my home now."

"Yours?" Meru was impressed and confused.

"It is, but we will transfer you as soon as possible to Bajor. Unless you prefer to stay here?"

"I'd like to see Taban, Reon, and Nerys as soon as possible!"

Luma didn't blink, "That will be arranged later. Tracking two of them will be quite arduous."

"Please get me out of here!"Meru clutched her arm. "I can't stand it here anymore!"

Luma brushed her hair from her face like she'd done before. Meru almost melted again.

"Even monsters can't say no to that face," Luma had a faint smile on her lips. "I don't know how I'd be catezgorized. I was a terrorist and then a war hero. Most days I'm a glorified administrator. I wanted to say no and worse but I simply can't."

"Luma-"

"Let me sign the necessary papers, yell at the right people, and let's get you out of here!"

"Thank you!"

Luma turned away and Meru shook away nagging doubts and dark fears. The doctor and counselor remained at her side. If Dukat had come to collect her after all she didn't know what she would have done. Stabbed him or more likely stabbed herself. What a way to pay him back for all his effort of keeping her alive and his forever. She was alive and most importantly she was free of him.

As they rode in the runabout, Kira tried to keep as far from her mother as possible. Julian was giving Meru a superficial examination while the daughter spoke to Ezri. She had appeared calm and collected, but now safely out of sight, the Trill woman was barely keeping her from the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"She didn't ask about Pohl, my youngest brother!" Kira said angrily. "She is playing the helpless and clueless fool! I doubt she really cares!"

"Nerys!" Ezri was horrified even though she understood some of the Commander's feelings,"She wouldn't have asked if she didn't care! She said she wanted to go home to her family a couple times. If she was happy to see Luma Rahl, how happy do you think she'll be to see the real you? How long are you going to keep up this act that you aren't her daughter? "

"Keep your voice down!" Kira hissed.

"She can't possibly hear us and you are louder than I am! Put down that cup of coffee! Caffeine is going to make you more anxious and irritable!"

"So now I can't drink what I want?" Kira said childishly."You're not my mother, Dax! That woman is!"

"Yes, she is! I am your friend and counselor. Here's some water. I haven't sipped it. Did you notice she declared that she had no real desire to see Dukat?"

"She knew I always hated him! I mean, not me, but Luma! Prophets, this is confusing!"

"So maybe you should tell her the truth."

"Not yet."

"When, Nerys?"

"When I feel it's time."

"You are right."

"What?" she was ready to keep fighting with Ezri and hadn't expected her to agree on anything.

"You need to come to terms with the fact that your mother is in your life again. You might need more time to deal with that than she needs to deal with the fact that you were her daughter all along."

"You had to meet former friends and lovers in your history as Dax."

"I have, but it was nothing quite like this," Ezri murmured.

Julian entered as they were talking, "Commander, she is asking for you. Niether of you have eaten for some time so I recommend that you share a meal. Ezri, I advise that we just keep calling Kira by her title so we don't slip and accidently reveal who she is. Believe me, I almost did that myself when we first spoke to Meru."

"And Meru prefers we call her Kira anyway. That's a sensible suggestion, Julian," Ezri gave him a peck on his cheek.

Kira replicated moba fruit and a few boiled eggs and brought them to Meru.

"Thank you!" she was gracious as ever, perhaps too gracious. "Moba is my favorite and they didn't have any of it available on Cardassia!"

"I recalled perfectly how much your eyes bulged at the sight of the fruit on Terok Nor," Kira said bitterly. "Bashir's people have a saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It seems that's true of women too."

Meru looked puzzled, "Men and women need to eat, Luma. Have a bite!"

Kira made a show of raising a fruit to her mouth but set it down and drank water instead, watching her mother intently. Despite her words and inconsistent attitude, her mother didn't seem disturbed. She must still be reeling with joy that the Occupation was over. She had been told Dukat was not coming for her and didn't appear upset over that either. And Kira, just as before, couldn't believe just how beautiful her mother was.

Do I look half as beautiful as you?Rose gold hair and blue eyes instead of my boring brown. No wonder Bajoran men, Cardassians, even Changelings have fallen in love with me. They only saw a reflection of you!

"I'd prefer if your alien doctor keeps away from me," Meru told her."Dr. Akil was insufferable enough. I would prefer a Bajoran."

Kira was defensive, "Julian Bashir is one of the best doctors in the universe and my personal doctor and friend!"

"He might be, but I would still be more comfortable with one of our own. Forgive me, but I've been coddled and paraded about by reptilians for a long time. I wonder if my old doctor is even alive?"

Kira took a bite of food to avoid answering the question. She began to peel a boiled egg.

"That's an unusual way to go about peeling an egg!" Meru pointed."Who taught you that technique?"

You did."My mother."

"I think I have said enough," Meru said firmly, shoving her nearly empty plate away. "I want my questions answered, Luma! What became of you after that bomb went off? And what became of Dukat and my family?"

Kira was used to having to think on her feet but she wondered what she could possibly say that this woman would believe. Anything she said, and especially the truth, would seem inconceivable. She'd tried to puzzle out an acceptable story before and she wasn't sure if it would work. She had asked many to help confirm her story.

"I was suspected of being part of the Resistance. I had knowledge of the bomb and the assassination attempt because I joined them when I became a rejected comfort woman. I was a raw recruit, though, so they decided I wasn't fit for the job itself. I realized that if Dukat was killed, he would only be replaced by someone worse. I had also come to... care for you. But after the explosion, I was taken into custody secretly. Dukat wanted to reward me for saving your lives and not punish me. He gave me to Dr. Akil who wanted to use me for anti-aging experiments."

"Anti-aging experiments?" Meru sounded doubtful but allowed Kira to continue.

"He injected me with serums and made me sit in spas for hours and hours. He used other methods. I'd rather not describe them all in painful detail, if you don't mind."

Meru nodded, her doubtful expression replaced entirely with a compassionate one.

"As for your family," Kira sighed,"That must come later. I'd like to be alone to meditate and collect my thoughts."

"Don't pray alone!" Meru cried and grabbed her hand."The Prophets hear us better when we chant together."

Before Kira could argue, Meru pulled her arm and sunk to her knees. She began to chant with a child's spiritual resolve. It was unshakable and irresistable. Kira allowed herself to kneel at her side. She chanted the words but her heart wasn't in it. She was wondering if things might have been easier if her mother had remained in cryo. Perhaps some secrets and truths should have been left buried in the ice.

Meru could hardly believe that she was returning to Terok Nor. She didn't care that Luma and her alien friends called it Deep Space Nine. From the runabout windows it still looked like the same Cardassian outpost and Dukat's slice of paradise made possible by the blood and tears of her people. Memories of her first time seeing it invaded her thoughts. She was sure she would die in this place and maybe she would die there still.

"Meru," Luma took her hand, noticing that her breathing wasn't quite normal and her eyes were wide. "You won't see very many Cardassians here today. I think it would be best to take you to the shrine. Would you like that?"

"I can't believe there's a shrine here, of all places!"

Luma smiled, "I'll prove it. Come on!"

When the doors opened, there were Bajoran men and women in tan colored uniforms to greet them. They explained to her that they were the security staff. They carried no weapons that she could see. She began to breathe easier. Deputy Talpet escorted them through the Promenade toward the shrine. Meru had never seen so many aliens! She didn't spot a Cardassian face in the crowds yet. There were no barbed fences only countless little shops and outlets, offices and labs.

Meru recognized the bar that had always been on Terok Nor. Right across from it was the shrine. There were services several times daily and one happened to be in session. Worshippers were kneeling in prayer as a Vedek led them. The doctor and the counselor remained outside as the Bajoran women joined without interrupting worship.

The temple incense calmed Meru and her eyes watered. She hadn't been able to worship with her real brothers and sisters for so long! She had a personal shrine that Dukat allowed her to pray at but there had been no temples or shrines allowed during her time. Religious freedom was often taken for granted. She raised her voice in song and prayer enthusiastically and afterward she requested a blessing from the Vedek.

"Vedek Navri, would you give Kira Meru not just a blessing but your personal prayers as well?" Luma said.

The Vedek stared at the both of them a moment and then said, "Ah, Kira Meru. I was told you might grace us with your presence. I am quite pleased to give you a blessing. Someone once told me you were a martyr of the faith. The fact that you are among us now is nothing short of a miracle. If there was an Orb here I would take you to see it. Alas, they are touring Bajor at the moment."

"A Bajoran Orb?" Meru said excitedly. "Did Dukat return them to our people after all?"

The Vedek scowled, "That man? No. Some of them were returned thanks to the treaty the Federation made them sign when the Occupation ended. They began to return more gradually. Dukat attacked the Orb of Contemplation and caused all of them to go dark until the Emissary Sisko discovered the fabled tenth Orb. Then the Orbs that had gone dark were restored. It was the leaders of the New Central Command that volunteered to return the rest."

"Dukat tried to destroy the Orbs?" Meru's eyes flashed with righteous rage.

"Near the end of 2374, I believe. He went from being atheist to worshiping the Pah-Wraiths."

"Skrain?" Meru's heart sank. "Skrain Dukat became a worshiper of those demons?"

Both the Vedek and Luma looked at her in confusion, "Skrain? Was that his first name?"

She nodded, "My deepest hope was that he would convert, but it seems I should have never wished such a thing. Wishes can come true but in horrible backfiring ways. I-I feel as though I might have been partially responsible-"

Vedek Navri interrupted, "We are children of the Prophets and they gave us free will. All sentient beings have that. Dukat misused that gift. We have no one to blame for our misdeeds but ourselves. He would say that the Pah-Wriaths worked through him. He was simply an ambitious man drunk on power. He didn't care where that power came from. He wanted to wield it. He used them, and in the end, they used him in turn."

"What does that mean? Where is Dukat now?"

Vedek Navri looked at Luma. She nodded and he answered, "The Emissary stopped him from bringing the Pah-Wraiths back. The two of them destroyed each other. The Emissary is now in the Celestial Temple and Dukat is likely trapped in the Fire Temple with his false gods forever. He took the false Kai Winn with him."

Meru shook her head and needed a moment to absorb what the Vedek said, "I know the man was charming and deceptive but apparently I had no clue just how devilish he was. I suppose he got what he deserved. I could ask for no better punishment. I just wish he would have turned out a much different man. There were seeds of a good man in him. He must have decided to nurture the bad seeds instead."

"Even I hoped he could redeem himself once," Luma confessed. "And you are right. He got what he deserved. He took my captain, my friend, and my Emissary Benjamin Sisko. He took a lot from me."

"As he did to me," Meru held her gaze. "He took my family from me and my freedom. He took others later."

"I will give you both my blessing," Vedek Navri said. "Meru, you are welcome to attend services whenever it pleases you. All are welcome here and all may gather to pray privately to the Prophets even when services are not ongoing."

"Nothing would give me better solace!"

Meru accepted his blessing and rose as though she had been purified and strengthened. The only thing that would have boosted her spirit more would have been a visit in the Celestial Temple itself or standing in the presence of an Orb. The atmosphere of the shrine easily made her forget she was on a Cardassian space station. She had already had a little taste of home light years away from it.

"Meru," Luma gestured to her. "You must go with Dr. Bashir to get a real examination."

"Must I?" Meru asked wearily.

"I remember what you said, but there is no Bajoran here that will treat you better. We cannot entirely trust Dr. Akil's word that you are healthy. Cardassians, especially of the older generations, are wily folk. In the medical world, a second opinion is vital regardless. Have faith and trust in me and the doctor, please?" Luma implored her.

"Very well," Meru said reluctantly. "Will you come with me?"

"I must speak with the Vedek privately for a while. Ezri Dax will be with you for the exam if you must have a woman nearby."

Meru shuddered, "She's still an alien woman and a complete stranger!"

"She is also a friend of several life times."

"What in the world does that mean?"

Luma actually chuckled and answered, "She will happily explain Trill culture and history to you. She's also adorable and warm. Making friends with her is not hard."

Meru took a breath and tried to remember that Dr. Lenora Rica had seemed alien and strange to her at first. She had proven a better doctor than her Bajoran one at home and became dearer than a friend rapidly. She should give these new creatures a chance.

"Fine, I'll have yet another medical exam. I do hope this is the last for a while."

Once Meru was gone, Kira turned to Vedek Navri. He frowned a little at her. The other worshipers had gone and the incense stick nearby was nearly burnt out. He began to tend to the shrine as they spoke quietly.

"I hoped you would inform your own mother about many things before you brought her to me, Commander Kira," he said disapprovingly. "I don't like being a harbinger of bad news and recounting tragedies. I also don't like being roped into illusions. How long is she going to keep calling you Luma Rahl? Does she know that was always a false identity and no one has ever existed of that name?"

"Thanks to the Orb of Time, we both know that Luma Rahl and Kira Nerys have always been one in the same," she replied. "I inspired myself as a little girl, fighting off the vultures that would have fed on my family at Singha Camp. I insured that the Resistance didn't kill the right man at the wrong time. I am not necessarily lying when I tell her my name is Luma."

"I don't know if I would have passed such a cruel test from the Prophets," Vedek Navri admitted. "If I were in your place, I probably would have triggered that bomb and-"

"Killed your own mother?"

He ground his teeth, "I don't know about that. Did you ever think about pulling your mother to safety and leaving Dukat to die?"

"They had become tethered by that point already. My mother wouldn't have survived without Dukat and neither would you or I."

"She doesn't sound like she loved Dukat as much as you think."

Kira shrugged, "I suppose the honey moon stage inevitably ends for all couples. They become comfortable and content. Some relationships grow stale and boring. She seemed so eager to jump to his defense back then."

"Maybe she experienced firsthand some of his true nature once that honey moon stage ended?" Navri suggested. "He did freeze her in cryo and forget about her."

"You are wrong. He never forgot about her."

"I wonder if Tora Naprem had survived the crash on Dozaria if she would have recounted a similar experience."

"If we hadn't found her body on that planet, I'd expect her to show up out of the blue too!" Kira sounded bitter.

"It is a miracle that your mother is here, you know that?"

"I am a bit more careful about throwing such a word around."

"It sounds like the Changeling Odo had an effect on you after all!"

She smiled fondly, "Perhaps. Is that so bad?"

"Whatever you call it, Commander Kira, the Prophets have given you your mother back! She's not the Mirror Universe Meru but the exact woman that gave birth to you."

"I wouldn't know the difference! I never got the chance to know my mother! How many of my father's pleasant stories about her were fabricated? I have so few memories, most of which were suppressed! He painted her in nothing but a good light."

"A mother loves her child, both the light side and the dark side. A daughter must try to do the same as long as the dark doesn't overshadow the light."

"I'll try, Navri, I promise that I will try."

Luma escorted Meru to her sleeping quarters after the medical examination was over. Bashir had some tests to go over to be certain all was well. That would take a little time. As they walked through the Promenade, Meru began to notice store fronts she had overlooked before. She read office plaques at a glance.

"SFHS? What is that?" she asked aloud.

Luma stopped midstride and explained, "Starfleet Humanitarian Services."

"Is Bajor ruled by Starfleet now?"

"No, they are our allies. Prime Minister Shakaar had us apply for entry into the Federation but it remains to be seen if we will be accepted. A growing number of Bajorans think we should remain independent."

"What do you think?"

"I grew close to quite a few people in Starfleet. There are some things about them that don't settle quite right with me. I go back and forth. I'm glad that the red tape is taking so long. We have plenty of time to take a knife to it and declare ourselves completely independent."

As they both laughed together, a Cardassian woman stepped out of the office doors. Meru gasped, she couldn't help herself. She looked nothing like her beloved Lenora, but the sight of any female Cardassian reminded her of the doctor by association.

The Cardassian gazed at the two Bajoran women with characteristic curiosity and scrutiny.

"Greetings Luma," she said slowly.

"Meru, meet Gul Melset. She is a friend of mine."

Meru's jaw gaped open as Melset's lips curled in a smile, "Your friend? Luma? I thought you hated Cardassians far more than me!"

"I know that it sounds crazy. Gul Melset has earned my trust. I wanted you to see just how much has changed not only on this station, but relations between our people is gradually changing for the better."

"It takes the cooperation of individuals first. Over time, whole groups can learn the value of one another," the Cardassian woman said. "I don't work just with Bajorans. There are representatives of several races on my team. There's Klingons, Vulcans, Terrans, and others."

"She just came from a medical exam with Julian," Luma informed her.

"How did you find him? Polite? Or did he come off as terribly annoying?" Melset asked.

"He does seem to talk a lot," Meru's head was spinning.

"I have to make some calls to Cardassia, else I would socialize more," the Gul began to dismiss herself. "I hope you enjoy your stay aboard DS-9, Kira Meru. It was a pleasure."

"Send Garak my regards and thanks again for me, will you?" Luma said after her. "Come along, Meru, the living quarters are through this hallway and down a few floors."

Luma brought her to spacious rooms equipped with a sonic and regular water shower, a replicator, a comfortable bed, and a warm and inviting living area. She had set up a small shrine for her too. Once the environmental controls were pointed out to her, Meru dimmed the lighting and cranked up the heat.

"I lived with Cardassians long enough that I grew used to their preferences," she explained when her friend looked puzzled. "In fact, the Promenade was practically blinding me."

"I see. I'll have Ezri come here for your first session tomorrow unless you have some sort of objection."

"I don't want to speak with her alone. I need emotional support."

"Meaning?"

"I want you with me during my sessions, Luma."

She seemed incredibly uncomfortable, "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Please, Luma? I need someone familiar at my side. Since everyone keeps putting off the fate of my family…"

"Alright, alright! I'll do it as long as you promise to participate in the therapy she offers!"

"Deal."

Luma looked as though she had been expecting far more of an argument. She didn't look exactly relieved.

"Luma, would you prefer to be rid of me?"

"No! No, it's not that! I have a station to run and I was merely planning to have Ezri give me briefings of your sessions. I figured you would want your privacy."

"Little to no privacy is something else I grew used to among Cardassians."

"Well you don't have to sacrifice that anymore!" Luma said with fire in her eyes.

Kira Nerys was glad for a moment of privacy when she retired to her quarters. Pretending to be another person was taxing. She was about to take a sonic shower as part of her winding down ritual when she received a call. She let out an exasperated sigh and answered it because it was Julian.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to give you the results of my final examination, Nerys," he said.

"Well? Is her cancer really gone? Must she and I deal with another bombshell while we're at this?" she replied dryly.

"I'm happy to report that she came back with a clean bill of health. I would love to have a long intellectual conversation with Dr. Akil so that I could write an extensive-

"Not every Cardi is going to find you as amusing as Garak does, Julian!" Kira snapped. "I'd advise you to avoid speaking to that man! Hasn't your pet snake informed you all about Dr. Akil's past? He is the interrogator, and you are a healer!"

Julian looked hurt for his friend, "I guess Garak would be satisfied that you didn't call him a torturer just now."

"I'm sure he'd smile at me and say that we had finally made progress! My point is that you would be wasting your breath talking to that medical monster!"

"The old Cardassia is dead," Julian reminded her. "What could Dr. Akil possibly gain concealing such medical knowledge from the universal medical community?"

"Don't tell me you think he'd actually be eager to benefit any society but the one that produced him. Are you still that naive?"

"Nerys, I think you need to have some private sessions with Ezri. I'm worried about you."

"Don't you dare worry about me! Now back to Meru! Are you expecting me to believe that she has absolutely no underlying health issues?"

"She is remarkably healthy for being frozen like a cobbler for decades. I once considered placing a patient in cryo and attempting something similar. Can you blame me for admiring Dr. Akil's acheivement?"

"I remember!" Kira knew exactly who he was talking about.

"She is more healthy than Bajoran women usually are in their forties. Her internal organs don't appear to have suffered permanant damage from even the chemotherapy she might have undergone in the months of treatment leading up to her deep sleep. She had plenty of time to recover and Dr. Akil was able to regenerate vital healthy cells without feeding the cancer cells."

"Isn't it wonderful that she got to escape the worst of the Occupation? She literally slept through most of it!"

"Please, Nerys, embrace my good news and stop dwelling on anything negative you can come up with! That isn't healthy!"

"I don't-

They were interrupted when she saw that she had another call waiting. Her finger pressed the button to accept it before her brain knew what was happening.

"Kira Nerys," Dr. Akil's face appeared as though he had somehow heard their conversation from his dwelling.

"Prophets!" she exclaimed. "What the hell do you want?"

"I wanted to know how my patient is doing," he simply said.

"Your former patient!"

"You are not a doctor, Kira. You cannot understand that once someone has been your patient, they are always thought of as a patient. Is Meru alright?"

"Why do you care? Patients are not pets and they are not friends!"

"I treated her for quite a long time. She was merely a project when Dukat first brought her to me. I will not pretend that I was a Bajoran sympathizer," the doctor's voice was steady. "But as time passed, she became more than a strange alien woman behind glass in icy water. She became the enigmatic lady that clung to life when supposedly stronger subjects perished. I had others in cryo, did you know that? There were strapping Cardassian soldiers I attempted to bring back to life before and after her. To this day, I don't know what it was that she possessed they did not."

Kira stared back at him, a little baffled.

He continued, "When she woke, I became more engrossed in her. Have you ever heard of the Earth fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty?"

"I am familiar thanks to babysitting a staff member's child."

"Well, this Sleeping Beauty could finally respond to me. For countless hours, the entire time I worked on her, she was almost lifeless. I never spoke to her before. My staff placed her in the cryo chamber and she barely knew what was happening. It was..." the Cardassian struggled to find the wording, "quite different."

"Did you fall in love with her too?" Kira laughed mirthlessly.

He narrowed his eyes, "That is not the correct terminology. I was fascinated, I can say that much. I am not sure what I expected. My staff by then were not the original staff. They couldn't appreciate that she was an oddity. They wanted her to relearn to walk and talk and act as though nothing had happened to her. They insisted a Cardassian would recover so much better. They were fools. Yes, perhaps a Cardassian would have got up running and lifting and reciting memorized poems and formulas, but would they have wanted to? Especially if they were told about the Great Defeat? In my experience, Cardassians have a far more precarious body and mind than they care to admit. This frail Bajoran woman had beaten all the odds stacked against her."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because she made an impression on me. She has no reason to be fond of me. I pushed her almost as hard as my staff did. I wanted her to recover and not just because she is probably my greatest work. She survived, Commander Kira. So will you please answer my question: Is Kira Meru the icon painter and your mother alright?"

"She just got a clean bill of health from our station doctor," Kira said at last. "Now what do you want? Is that really the only reason you called?"

"I want you to do me a favor."

"You want me to tell Garak to stop giving you nightmares? Oh, you poor reptile!"

"Funny that everyone overlooks his past which is just as checkered as any Cardassian of the Obsidian Order," Dr. Akil sneered. "But no, that's not what I would ask of you. Don't underestimate Meru. I want her to live a long and happy life. Dukat paid dearly for it, I worked hard for it, and she has earned it. Whatever you may think of her, Nerys, I want you to know that. That is all."

He ended the call and Nerys took a moment before she switched back to Julian Bashir. He promptly asked who she had been speaking to.

"No one important, Julian," she told him. "If you don't mind, I need rest. Thank you for your hard work and your concern, my friend."

"Anytime!" Julian beamed at her. "Sweet dreams, Nerys!"

The next morning, Meru took a long shower. She set the water so hot that another man or woman might complain that it was scalding. She had become very fond of hot water. Small wonder she preferred it over ice baths. She had a strong desire never to feel cold again.

She dressed herself and ate breakfast alone. She looked around her quarters. They weren't the same she had occupied with Gul Dukat. Luma had probably taken great care not to remind her. It didn't matter, though. This station might have undergone a makeover and been relabeled. The Bajorans and aliens had made the Promenade as bright and welcoming as possible. None of that could change its history or her past.

She began to pray at her shrine. She prayed for Pohl and Lenora. She gave thanks for all the good that had come to pass. She prayed for her family, wherever they were, and she prayed for strength. She kept Dukat out of her prayers entirely.

She wondered, had he become a Wraith? If he had, was it possible for him to haunt her and influence her even now? It was a horrifying thought. She began a chant to banish evil and almost didn't hear Ezri Dax at her door.

"How are you feeling today, Kira?" the Trill girl asked with a smile.

"I'm happy that you and I are just talking and you will not be picking my brain any other way," Meru smiled back at her. "Where is Luma?"

"The Commander is about to take a break from her shift so that she can be here for you. In the meantime, may I replicate a drink for you? Do you have any questions for me? I would like to make you feel better about me."

"You don't frighten me. I don't need anything."

"That's a start! Julian gave me a list of the medications he gave you. We hope to wean you off of them safely and slowly. Any physical ailments you noticed now that you didn't before in your examination?"

"I am fine."

"Well then, I'll sit!"

The Trill woman sat and looked at her like a giddy child. Meru sat and tried not to stare at her as a long stretch of silence passed. The counseler seemed a little anxious, more so than she was. She had been told this young woman had the experiences of many life times but no one would guess looking at her. At least she was cheerful. It made up for her spots and slight jitters.

"Oh!" Ezri almost leaped from the couch when a thought popped into her head. "Have you attempted to paint yet?"

"No."

"Well, why not?"

"The Cardassians didn't think to give me paints. They are not nearly as artistic as Bajorans. If Dukat were here, he would have thought of it. It simply wasn't a priority to them and I didn't feel like painting. If I could barely walk any attempts to make a masterpeice would be fruitless."

"I have seen some of your art! You're very talented!"

"Do you paint?"

"One of the Dax hosts was a muisician that dabbled in painting, but he was not of your caliber!"

"So you don't paint?"

"Not really. You paint religious drawings and landscapes? You also sculpt?"

"I did."

"What would you paint for me right now?"

"I'm not sure," Meru suspected this was not an innocent question at all.

"Well, perhaps you can try to paint something for me later and show it off next session?" Ezri suggested.

Meru stared at her and the awkward silence returned until Luma arrived. She greeted Ezri, nodded at Meru, and she sat with her on the sofa opposite of Ezri. The Trill had brought her own little ottoman to sit upon. She looked even more like a child than usual and the two Bajorans were elevated above her. She was the least intimidating creature in the world and yet Meru was still a bit uneasy.

"Meru, where would you like to start?" the Trill asked.

"Aren't you supposed to tell me where to begin?"

"I don't know what sort of counseling you are used to. I'm a bit eccentric. If I didn't have the diplomas to prove it, you'd never know I was a professional!" Ezri giggled. "What would you like to talk about?"

"My family."

"Go on!"

"They are the reason I am still here. I know it. I am alive because my children need me. My husband never remarried. At least not before I entered cryo. I would be happier if he had."

"Really?" Ezri's eyes widened. "Why?"

"Because I don't think he ever deserved to be alone. No one should be alone. I hope he found a good woman that made him happy. I hope he had more children. He was a wonderful father."

"How did you feel when you were taken from him?"

"A part of me hoped they would kill me rather than keep me as a comfort woman. Another prayed that they would release me after a harrowing trial of being traded from man to man. Then I was introduced to Dukat and I accepted that my purpose was to save my family. It was an unconvential way of martyring myself."

"You felt you sacrificed yourself without actually dying?"

"Dying is easy. Surviving and helping others to survive is far more difficult."

Luma licked her lips at that and stared at the floor.

"That is true," Ezri nodded at her. "Now tell me what Dukat promised you and I will tell you what has become of him after the Occupation. He's obviously not Prefect of Bajor anymore."

"He promised me that my family would be taken care of. He sent rations to them until the Resistance began to suspect them. He stopped giving them directly to them and used a friend of the family to observe them and slip them food instead."

"Who was that man?" Luma leaned forward.

"Fala Trentin. Do you know what became of that kindly monk I'm indebted to?"

Luma shook her head and couldn't hide a bit of anger, "Wait a minute, you said Fala was recruited to observe your family and indirectly give them rations? How long was he a Collaborator?"

"From within the first year I served as Dukat's mistress. Thanks to him, I received recordings of my children and husband a few times a year."

Luma and Ezri looked shocked and the other Bajoran woman said, "I knew Fala had fallen under Dukat's sway when he joined his Wraith worshiping cult based on the station of Empok Nor. That was during the Dominion War, though, and not the Occupation. He claimed he had never met Dukat before. Either that was a blatant lie or he had always been the Gul's by proxy!"

"He was partially telling the truth. He never met Dukat in person. There was always a liason or mediator between them."

"Fala is dead," Luma blurted.

"Might I ask how?"

"Ritual suicide."

Meru made a quick gesture for the dead and said, "I hope he doesn't become a Boryha because of that."

"What else did Dukat promise you?" Luma asked instead of the counselor.

"That he would protect my children any way he could. It was too late for my baby Pohl but I told him I was especially worried for my little Nerys. I hoped she would become a nun with Fala's encouragement. I had a bad feeling Reon would run off to join the Resistance if Taban didn't stop him. Dukat also promised to do everything in his power to help the Bajoran people. It seems that if Starfleet forced the Cardassians out and Dukat complained about that, he was lying to me after all about his desire to see us freed."

Luma looked baffled again, "You already know about Kira Pohl's death? How?"

"I was allowed to attend the funeral."

"I don't understand how you could have been allowed to attend and yet you were never seen!"

"That was one of the conditions. I couldn't be seen. It was incredibly hard not to run right up to my husband and children and kiss them and remain with them," Meru got teary-eyed. "The best I could do was leave my wedding bracelet for Taban to find on Pohl's grave."

"Excuse me, I need to get a glass of water," Luma announced. "Continue, Meru. I'm listening and still here."

Ezri watched her as she got up and walked away, her eyes full of concern. Then she focused them quickly again upon her client looking even more concerned.

"Luma," Meru called after her, "if my therapy is distressing to you-

"I have had my therapy with Ezri Dax already!" she called back. "Let me get this damned replicator working! I asked for water and it gave me something else entirely! Don't mind me!"

"Did Dukat threaten you? Did you make any attempt to flee from him since you were on Bajor?" Ezri fired a different question at Meru. "How did he really treat you? How do you feel about him now?"

Luma was suddenly at Meru's side lightning quick and without her water. Meru hesitated. This session was already spiraling out of her control. She was tempted to demand it stop, but then her friend took her hand. Why did it seem like she needed the answer to this question? Her fingers were trembling and her touch cold.

"Dukat was a duplicitous man," Meru tried hard to explain. "He never struck me. He never outright called me stupid or foolish. He showered me with gifts, especially if I made it clear that he had hurt me in some other way. He could be sweet and charming much more often than he could be calculating and cruel. He was a special type of cruel. He disguised his cruelty as kindness."

"Explain that to me," Ezri requested.

Luma squeezed her hand.

"He controlled every waking moment of my life because he insisted he knew what was best for me. He was demanding when it came to the bedroom. I had an irrational fear that if I ever turned him down, he would discard me. The vast majority of the time, he was gentle. There were several episodes when he wasn't. Part of the problem was that I had to teach him. Cardassian women are tougher and used to their men. I was his comfort woman, and I always knew that. He loved me, but my duty was to serve him in this matter above all others. Taban had never been so demanding. He never needed to be told he was going too far. He never sent me to the medical offices and I never bled until Dukat."

Meru cast her eyes down, her face burning with humiliation. It was very difficult to talk about these matters. Could a Trill woman quite understand? They were also tougher than Bajoran women. She had no idea what their normal standards in these matters were. At least Luma knew.

"Did you ever dare to turn him down?" Luma whispered.

Meru looked her in the eye, "How could I have? If he could hurt me like that unintentionally, could you imagine what he might have done intentionally?"

Luma swallowed and looked away.

"You said he never outright called you stupid or foolish. Did he make you feel that way?" Ezri asked.

"He began to slip a little after some years passed. He was Cardassian and I was Bajoran. Cardassians have photographic memories. He would make fun of my lack of it playfully at first. Then he came off as more sarcastic. He began to get frustrated and make some comment that his real wife would remember what he was referring to. It was little things like that, but they cut me down."

"Gul Dukat was definately a narcissist," Ezri began to display that she was a counsler after all. "They need constant praise and affection from their favorite supply. You provided that. You were a beautiful Bajoran woman that he could never possess if not for the Occupation. He loved you as much as a narcissist possibly could, but such men and women can't stand it when their partner feels empowered or in any way superior or even equal to them. He needed to tear you down to make himself feel the master. He would have belittled you at every oppurtunity. Narcissists find flaws no matter how perfect those around them might be."

"Sometimes I couldn't escape the fact that he was my master and I was his slave."

Meru had begun to cry a little silently. Luma put an arm around her, her face stony but her eyes burning with both anger and sorrow.

"Sometimes he spoke about having children with me," Meru said suddenly. "But I prevented that from happening."

"You did?" Luma was taken aback.

"I had Dr. Rica, who was the doctor that treated all the comfort women on the station then, steralize me without telling him."

"That was an incredibly smart thing you did," Ezri grinned almost wickedly. "The next woman bore him a hybrid child."

"The next woman?" Meru repeated with a flat tone.

"Gul Dukat took a mistress months after you were gone," Luma spoke. "Her name was Tora Naprem. She was a worker and not a comfort woman. She bore to him a daughter named Ziyal."

"He sure didn't wait very long," Meru didn't know what emotion she felt at that. "I probably would have borne him children if not for Lenora."

"Who is Lenora?"

"Lenora Rica. My doctor and friend. More than friend. She was my lifeline after you were gone, Luma."

"Both Toras are dead and gone. You outlived them too!"

"Should I be happy about that?"

"Life is precious," Ezri stated. "Nearly every sentient being knows that!"

"What is the last thing you remember before you were put into cryo?" Luma asked.

Meru was surprised that her friend was asking so many questions. She thought the woman would do nothing more than sit and quietly observe. She was a little confused. She kept answering the questions anyway. She trusted her.

"I was devastated that Dukat had Dr. Rica executed. He insisted she was a traitor to Cardassia, a defective woman, and a failiure of a doctor. He had moved me to the Cardassian hospital by then. I cared deeply for that woman even though she was also Cardassian. She had done her best to treat my cancer. She converted to our faith. Dukat never would, I had come to accept that. He acted as though he was more than tolerant of my beliefs in the beginning. I realized he was entertaining my fancies the way a father plays up a child's game of an imaginary friend. I was wild with rage and sick. I told him I hated him and that I wanted him to let me die. He couldn't keep me from the Prophets if they were coming to collect me. I wanted to be with Lenora and Pohl! I was more than ready!"

Ezri handed Meru a tissue. She was becoming hysterical with emotion. Luma stared at her with a gaping mouth, eyebrows stitched together, unable to blink.

"Then what?" Ezri goaded.

"He told me that he would never ever let me go. He insisted he loved me and not even the Prophets could keep me from him. He had found a much better doctor that would cure me. He said that I would rest and wake in his arms someday. He would make everything up to me. He promised to care for Nerys again. And then I was seized by Dr. Akil's staff. I was shoved into that container as I screamed at Dukat. I cried out to the Prophets. Hadn't I suffered enough? All I ever wanted was to keep my family safe! Was I being punished? Did I really deserve a frozen hell? Then I felt a cold that you could never imagine! The last thing I saw was Dukat walking away from me and then I woke up to Dr. Akil's face. I hoped I had just had a terrible nightmare. Nope! Here I am, back on Terok Nor, in a personal purgatory! Can we stop this for today?!"

"Yes!" Luma launched to her feet. "Yes, we have both had enough, Dax!"

Ezri tried to get to her feet quickly and almost tripped somehow on her own feet. She blushed and began to sputter. Luma gave Meru a quick squeeze and retreated from the room before she could stop her. She was fighting tears. Ezri looked at Meru.

"That didn't go at all how I expected!" she was apologetic. "Would you like a hug?"

"I want my life back!" Meru shouted.

"We are working on that," the Trill sighed. "I need to go speak to Luma. This is going to be difficult for you to believe, but she is far more fragile than she looks. And you are far stronger than you look, Kira."

"No, I'm not! I'm terribly weak!" she fired back. "And now I'm incredibly angry! I couldn't afford to feel that emotion much before. The Cardassians would never have tolerated it. I'm angry that I didn't kill Dukat myself ages ago! The moment he stopped giving my family rations, I should have realized it wasn't worth it anymore to play wife to him! If I hadn't had Lenora, I probably would have! I am being punished, aren't I?"

"What do you think Vedek Navri would say to that?"

"He would say I'm blessed and a miracle and I'm so tired of everyone telling me that! I want off this station! I want to go back to Bajor! I want whatever is left of my family! Is that so hard?"

Ezri was speechless.

"My family is dead, aren't they? Tell me the truth! NOW!"

"There is one survivor," the Trill finally gave her some sort of answer.

"One survivor?" Meru's lip quivered. "Who is it?"

"That's enough for today. I need to see to my friend!"

Trill were quick! Before Meru could catch her, Ezri Dax barreled out of the room leaving the Bajoran woman in a strange state of ecstatic joy and sorrow. She invoked her gods. What else could she possibly do?

There is one survivor! She clung to that desperate thought. One. That may be enough.

Ezri had to chase down Kira Nerys. At least her destination was her own quarters and she didn't have to hunt her all over the station. She had left her ottoman back in the last room so she sat on the sofa and waited patiently for her friend to join her. Bajorans were more emotional than other species, but Ezri knew this particular woman struggled to keep them under control.

Kira washed her face and glanced at herself in the mirror. Then she turned her gaze away. Her reflection looked far too much like her mother staring back at her. She clutched the sides of the sink and closed her eyes instead.

She tried to pretend that Odo was in the room with her. When she was upset like this, he would wrap his arms around her from behind and say nothing. He would simply hold her until she realized he must have work to do. She must stop pouting like a child and wasting their precious time. Ezri Dax must have things to do as well.

"Are you OK, Nerys?" Ezri patted the spot on the sofa beside her to gently summon her.

"I'm not panicking at the moment," she took her place.

"That session turned into a mess!" Ezri looked sheepish. "Then again, I don't do well with group sessions. Whenever there is multiple people, the therapy can become derailed. We all tend to ramble and blurt out thoughts and go from topic to topic sporadically. Our thoughts are never truly organized and putting them into words and trying to pin them down with simple emotions makes it harder. We both bombarded Meru with many heavy questions. She didn't get much of a chance to fully answer them. She may need someone better than me."

"Ezri, you are too hard on yourself! I am the one that sabatoged you and I am sorry."

"She would have probably continued to stare at me and say nothing if you weren't there."

"The things she did say contradicted a lot of what I had been led to believe."

"Like what?"

"Not only was she at her my brother's funeral, but she left my father an unmistakable sign she had been there. He never told Reon and I. Then again, there was much he never told us."

"He wanted to protect you and your mother. Would you have felt any better if he told you that Meru was alive and all she could do was leave a material object in exchange for your brother? Admit it, you would have hated her more. In your child's mind, your mother would have been a target of blame. Why couldn't she have convinced Dukat to save Pohl?"

Kira sighed, "You are right. Reon would have definately thought that and so would I. I am also shocked by how deep Fala's betrayal went. No wonder Dukat always knew things about me he couldn't have possibly known! And that torturer that interrogated me when I was barely sixteen. I thought maybe Reon had ratted me out! It was because of Fala all along! The man was a family friend and our only spiritual teacher in the camp! He was the traitor, not Reon! I always knew that he was framed and no Collaberator!"

Ezri allowed herself a smile, "Some of this is good to know, isn't it? Chunks of your past are beginning to make far more sense."

"Yes."

"Family members are linked with your past which is easy to forget. They are also the most likely people to stick with you in the future. Are your feelings about your mother changing now that you have heard a little more about her experience? Does she still seem like a woman seduced by Dukat that passively accepted being his pet?"

"That was the conclusion I jumped to. Perhpas I was terribly unfair and judging too quickly. I realized that a bit and that's why I saved them from the explosion. But to hear that she unquestionably suffered emotional and sexual abuse at his hands... That was hard to hear. Her only friend wasn't Dukat but that doctor she spoke of."

"Nerys, I think the woman was more than she lets on. The way she speaks her name, the intonation of her voice and slight change in her body language, it gave away to me the impression of a lover."

"A lover? Didn't she mention that Dr. Lenora Rica was a female Cardassian!" Kira exclaimed.

"That is hard to believe, I know. You must ask Gul Melset about that. I thought same sex relationships were criminalized on Cardassia? That also means your mother was bold enough to have an affair under Dukat's nose! It makes me wonder what else she managed to get away with."

"It did appear that Dukat made far more effort to have the military treat comfort women better while he kept my mother. There were less reports of beatings in the files during that time. Brothels fell out of fashion in favor of single ownership. The brothels were too obvious anyway. Directly or indirectly, she helped protect other women. As for the rest of the Bajorans, well," she made a helpless gesture, "Dukat only protected people he personally found valuable. Men were serving Cardassia in the mines and only the girl children were worth any sort of investment. Neither she nor Tora Naprem could convince him otherwise."

"Nerys, I have to let you know something. I told your mother just now that one of her family members survived."

"You did WHAT?"

"I didn't say which member it was!" Ezri said defensively. "She might be thinking it's Taban or Reon that's out there somewhere instead of you."

"It's not going to be hard for her to figure out who I am now, Dax!" Kira raged. "I was the sole member of the family Dukat cared enough to make an effort for! Everyone knows that! I look so much like her, I'm the one that came to collect her, you might has well have told her my name wasn't Luma Rahl!"

"I had to say something after that dispaly! You are both in shock!"

"I should have Vedek Navri shuttle her to a nunnery on Bajor!" Kira began to pace the room restlessly. "Yes, that would be best for everyone! She can live a quiet and peaceful life making art during the day and praying all evening."

"Your mother was and still is deeply religious, but so are you. Would you be happy being locked away in a nunnery?"

"What else is there for her?"

"Nerys, are you afraid of your own mother?"

"I don't fear much of anything!"

"No, you just don't want to admit you feel fear. That's a big difference. Nerys, you've needed your mother all your life. There's a neglected little girl in there that aches for that. We all have such needs and emotions hiding beneath the surface of our skin like black ice. If you let that fester, you'll break your neck on it one day!" Ezri warned her.

"I need to get back to my post! I didn't sign up for individual therapy!"

"I'm saying this as a fellow sentient being, not as your counselor."

"Thanks, but no thanks, and please get out!"

Ezri nodded and left her alone. It might not feel like she'd made progress in the moment, but at least she had managed to say what needed to be said. Both the mother and daughter would require some time.

Kira Nerys tried to fill that time with work. For days she worked extra hours on purpose and refused to take calls that had nothing to do with it. Kira Meru attempted another session of therapy with Ezri and simply stared at the floor, obviously deperessed and asking where Luma was. Vedek Navri had less luck with her. Meru entered the shrine alone and prayed silently. Julian and Ezri were concerned.

Melset was astonished when Ezri Dax approached her while she was eating in the replimat and asked, "Would a Cardassian extend a favor to a silly Trill?"

"That depends upon the favor!" the Cardi in question was intrigued. "Adding a Trill to my list would be saitsfying."

"Do you collect favors from other people the way Benjamin used to collect baseball cards?"

The Cardassian woman's lips curled into a grin.

"I need you to talk to Kira."

"Which Kira? I assume you meant Luma?"

"You know they say that couples grow alike."

"Are you saying I am becoming like Garak?"

"That or your mutual background has more to do with it."

"Correlation is not always causation. I will say that Garak and I are alike in that we strive to do our duty and serve Cardassia with every breath we take. That's a racial trait as much as anything else," Melset finished her meal in a few quick bites and continued, "I will talk to the Commander and I won't even consider it a favor. This time. Have a good day, counselor."

Ezri covered her mouth and giggled, "Thank you!"

"It's very hard to remember that is a Joined Trill sometimes!" a coworker said disparaginly once she was gone.

"Sometimes it's hard to understand how you qualified for this job!" Melset retorted with a cold stare before getting up to put her dishes into the replimat and leave.

The situation must indeed be serious for Ezri to ask me to intervene, the Cardassian thought as she made her way to Kira's quarters where she activated the chime. There was no call of "Enter."

She spoke into her commbadge, "Trace Commander Kira."

"Commander Kira is in her quarters," the mechanical voice answered.

She rang again before calling out, "Commander, I know you are in there and want to check on you. I saw you come out of the counselor's office."

There was a moment of silence before the door slid open to reveal the commander. Her normally smooth hair was disheveled, her glance furious as she said, "What do you want, Melset? If you want to give me advice, forget it. I don't need what you call support!"

"You won't get any. This is a Cardassian custom, a gesture meant to comfort someone who is having a hard time. Sitting together in silence, this is often enough."

Kira met the woman's eyes, gestured at her to enter, realizing that it was nearly impossible to discourage a determined Cardassian.

Melset saw that the table was upended, chairs too, some items had been thrown through the living area. "It would appear an extremely localized conflict was carried out here," she stated as she quickly righted the tables and chairs.

Kira began laughing, an angry, harsh laugh. "Damn it, I've had enough of counseling, of hearing what really happened! Everything I was told and believed, lies, all of it lies!" She took a shuddering breath, "My mother forced to cede to Dukat in every way to avoid being mistreated… made to feel inferior, considered a superstitious, primitive Bajoran, an exotic, alluring toy with whom to play house but at the same time reinforce his feelings of superiority…!" Her voice nearly broke when she sat down heavily next to Melset, "Where am I in all of this? My mother, whom I believed dead, is here…. What is my role? What can I do for her? How to act towards her? A collaborator and a victim of Dukat's cruelty. How can I help her cope? I don't even know how to speak to her, to my own mother!"

Melset sat next to her, silent.

In her anger and fear, Kira asked very slowly, "Imagine, Melset, if you were notified that, by some medical miracle, Glinn Kovar was alive, healthy and anxious to see you."

Melset's eyes widened, her breathing quickened for some moments as she stared at Kira. "I ... would …" Her breath caught in her throat. "I would never leave Garak. And, Commander, our respective situations are in no way alike. I saw Kovar in sickbay, his chest pierced by a phaser blast. Kira Meru, your mother was in a form of stasis and was and is alive."

In spite of her calm answer, Kira realized that she had dealt Melset a painful blow. Yes, my mother is alive, and I have to deal with the fact, not let my frustration out on someone who only wants to help.

"Gul Melset…" she began.

"The situation is destabilizing for both you and your mother. I ask you as a friend to try and imagine what she is going through even though she has been told the Bajorans' nightmare is over. Knows she and her people are free, she is free of Dukat and his demands and manipulation. Do not send her away to a religious center as though she were without a home, without family ties. She has a home, and that home is with you, her daughter. Stay together, get to know each other as mother and daughter should. How long were you with her in the vision and as a child?"

"The vision? A few hours. And I was three when she was taken away."

"The closest of family ties but with a stranger. Quite a remarkable situation, isn't it? Reality and old wishes in conflict… Closeness you obviously desire and yet fear because of what you might still learn…"

"How can you understand this?" was Kira's suspicious query.

"It no longer matters if you know. I was a liaison between Central Command and the Order, was trained to immediately recognize conflicting emotions, insecurity, fear; this helped me to have the advantage in interrogative procedures or manipulation." When Kira made to speak, she shook her head, "I would never do either to you. But you asked the necessary questions only a few minutes ago and only you can answer them. Commander Kira, Meru has to know who you are as soon as possible. Pretending to be Luma Rahl is keeping you from relating to your mother. In fact, she most likely suspects who you truly are."

There was no answer, but she saw Kira relax marginally

"Help each other through this, be supportive, kind, Give her the feeling she has a home and security with you and is not an unwelcome, unloved burden."

Some moments later, the Cardassian asked, "Now for the interrogation, which consists of only one question. I expect you to answer honestly, without obfuscation, my dear Commander. How do you feel, in your pagh, about having her back?"

The answer was calm, "What I feel? Joy but at the same time great apprehension."

"That is normal and will pass." Melset got up and quickly gestured at Kira, hand extended towards her, fingers spread then brought together, curling so that they pointed to her. "Come, Commander. Let's speak to Dax about finally telling your mother the truth."

Kira looked around, "There is this battleground…"

"That can wait. There is time for everything now."

"Oh, I must not forget: Ezri advised me to ask you about another matter."

Melset nodded once, indicating she speak.

"Ezri mentioned that Meru repeatedly consulted a Dr. Rica after intimate contact with Dukat, and this Cardassian doctor became a trusted friend and more. I do not know how your people consider these things, but Meru had a relationship with her, trusted her, loved her for her kindness and understanding, and did not understand why the doctor was considered defective…"

"They became lovers," was Melset's blunt statement.

Kira nodded.

To Kira's surprise, Melset looked away, head inclined, neck membranes slightly tensed, hands clasped at her waist, as though she was very uncomfortable indeed. The Cardassian took a deep breath, then said, "Anyone who shows signs of this tendency is considered defective, as he or she does not contribute to the population of Cardassia, so such couples are forbidden to join. Much as a fertile partner is not allowed to join with an infertile one. And even if it was possible, adoption of an orphan would be illegal."

"How do these individuals cope? The restrictions are unnecessarily harsh in our eyes and in the eyes of the Federation."

"How they cope…, "Melset shrugged. "Their families force them to join in arranged, conventional partnerships, have children and suppress their uncardassian tendencies. Some become militaries or Order operatives in a desperate attempt to prove themselves true Cardassians who are as dedicated as all the others. Or…" she hesitated, "… they volunteer for duty on occupied planets where observation is less stringent, where they can hire servants…"

"And if discovered?"

"Some commit suicide rather than bring disgrace to their family name, or agree to re-education and, believe me, the process is horrific. Don't ask me for details – you really do not want to know. Tain once had me observe it."

"I won't. If you, a Cardassian, find it traumatizing to speak of something…" she did not continue, only added, "And some are summarily executed for some crime or another which they never committed."

Melset nodded. She had seen that happen to an officer she had known well. His name was struck from his family's files, from those of Central Command and the Order, from those of the Center for Population… it was as though he had never existed. Entek had informed her it would be unwise in the extreme to say anything in his defense.

"I think I know enough and thank you for the information." At seeing the Cardassian avoid looking at her, she added, "I owe you some favors for answering questions about this topic which so obviously goes against your values as a Cardassian citizen."

Shaking off her reactions to the memories, Melset turned to open the door, gesturing at Kira to join her, "I would suggest consulting Counselor Dax now. The situation is urgent."

Meru was a bit embarrased when Ezri and Luma gazed around her quarters. She had somewhat lost control of herself in a storm of emotions. One moment she felt so depressed she could barely get out of bed and the next she felt like she hated the whole world. She took it out on the furniture and crockery in her quarters. She hadn't done such a thing since she was a child.

Ezri said aloud, "You two really are alike!"

"What do you mean?"

"Luma is known to destroy rooms in response to severe emotional distress."

"Now I see where it comes from!" the woman allowed herself to laugh.

"Where have you been, my friend?" Meru asked.

She sighed, "I have been avoiding you and I owe you an apology. I owe you a lot."

The Trill woman placed some of the essential furniture back into place. As soon as the sofa was restored to its original place, the Bajoran women sat holding hands.

"Meru," Luma began. "I have spoken to several confidants of mine on this station. I decided I will start telling you the truth from now on. I haven't been completely transparent with you. I wasn't ready for the truth myself. I have been selfish. While I feel I have been getting more answers than I ever bargained for, you are still left completely in the dark. Where do I begin?"

Meru waited patiently for her to continue.

Ezri nodded at the Commander, "Best if we get the biggest confession out of the way."

She clearly paused a moment to invoke a higher power before she complied, "You said that I have been such a good friend to you and that you felt a connection the moment we met."

"Yes," Meru gazed back at her. "In fact, I told Dukat that I wondered if you weren't a long lost relative. Complete strangers remark that we could be sisters."

"Well, there is good reason for that."

Ezri motioned for a moment. She could sense the other woman was trying to make out what she was getting at. Meru's blue eyes became glassy. She let go of the hand clasping hers to trace her own nose ridges and then Luma's. She ran her fingers through her hair, staring into those warm brown eyes that sometimes took on the illusion that they were red when she was angry. Puzzle pieces began to fall into place in her mind.

"Those are Taban's eyes!" she said aloud. "Why didn't I see that before? N-Nerys? Is that you in there?"

Her daughter nodded, sniffling and bursting into tears. Meru instinctively wrapped her arms around her. She didn't question a single thing for a long moment. She simply just held her adult daughter as though nothing else mattered. She already knew in her heart that it didn't. She felt a flood of joy and Nerys felt relief instead of fear at being revealed.

Ezri Dax observed them with a big smile on her lips. So far, this looked promising and she realized she should allow the pair to commence without much intervention unless it took a turn.

"Mother…" Kira Nerys could barely get the word out, she'd been calling her by her name to her face so long.

"Part of me must have always known who you were. I have missed so much! I am so sorry I couldn't be there for you during your childhood and teenage years. I missed your tween years! You deserved better!"

"Mom…" she sobbed.

Nerys put her arms around her mother, returning the hug and taking her in. It felt good to feel maternal love. Every time they touched before it was more like the sensation of sisters. They might look as such, but the truth was they were indeed mother and daughter.

"Nerys," Meru finally began to press further, "How was it possible for you to be in two places at once? You were literally by my side as a child and as a grown woman!"

"The Orb of Time," Nerys recovered enough to explain. "Father told me you had died in the camp but Dukat later told me that you left us for him!"

"That's a hideous and damnable lie!" Meru rasped.

"I know that now because I was there as Luma. And the bomb-I-I was the one that planted it."

That terrible admission hadn't been planned. The words poured from the 'younger' woman's lips before she could stop them. Once the genie was out of the bottle, there was no forcing it back in again. Ezri went from pleased to outright alarmed. They hadn't discussed telling Meru that part yet!

They were flabbergasted when Meru replied, "My child, I suffered, but I can't possibly know what you must have experienced. After the white lies you heard from Taban and the black lies Dukat fed you, I wouldn't blame you for hating me. Maybe you should have let the bomb kill us."

"I couldn't! I wanted to hate you and blame you, but I can't!" Nerys kissed her and clung to her. "I became an angry and foolish little brat!"

"I love you, Nerys. You were never foolish and you were never a brat. You were robbed of a childhood. How could you not feel anger? How could you not have blamed me?" Meru stroked her back.

"I love you and I don't want to lose you ever again!"

Ezri relaxed and wiped away a single tear as both mother and daughter cried heavily. She reminded herself that she should make calling her mother a priority once this session was over.

"If it makes you feel better," Meru said with irony. "You did get some revenge that day. Dr. Rica theorized it was something that I breathed in from the explosion that might have caused my cancer."

"That makes me feel awful!" Nerys wailed.

"Chin up, baby girl," Meru managed a smile. "It's also the reason Dukat was forced to freeze me. Then I was cured by Dr. Akil, wakened free of him, and now I'm here with you!"

"Why do the Prophets work in such convoluted ways?" Nerys said in frustration.

"That monster promised to protect you!" Meru needed a particular hard answer from her. "What price did he extract for that? Please tell me that he never touched you! Please tell me that one of us escaped from his clutches!"

"I would have killed him!" her daughter hissed. "He wanted me as much as you, but I eluded him during the Occupation. Afterwards, I was often put in his path. He was an enemy one day, a colleague the next, a grudging ally on the very morrow, a mortal enemy again, even my boss for a time! I didn't know the truth about you. I loved his hybrid daughter Tora Ziyal almost like family. Oh, mother, my life has been one of wicked twists and turns!"

Meru took a deep breath, "You must tell me all eventually. For now, will you please take me home to Bajor? I would like to say the sacred chants for the rest of my children. Of course, I never forgot my beloved husband Taban, no matter what that serpent told you!"

"Yes, we'll go to Bajor."

"Let me inform security to prepare a shuttle!" Ezri volunteered.

Along the shuttle ride, Ezri Dax helped the mother and daughter keep somewhat on track as they finally filled in the holes of time past and present for Meru. There was a lot to explain and they had barely scratched the surface when they reached their destination. They would need many more sessions, but an important breakthrough had been made. No one expected it to be orderly and quick.

Kira had another purpose for going to Bajor. She had already contacted both Shakaar and Garak to rendezvous with them in the near future. She intended to pay back her Cardassian friends and find out what became of Melset's Bajoran Meydar. For now, though, she and her mother had personal business to attend.

"Where are we?" Meru asked with apprehension when they arrived.

"Dakhur Hills," Nerys answered. "The caves here were my only home for a long time. These were the headquarters for Shakaar's Resistance cell. It's where Kira Taban is buried."

Meru knelt at the gravesite and pointed to the fresher one nearby, "Does my son Reon lie there? We both already know where Pohl is."

"I'm afraid not. Reon has no known site. He was suspected of being a Collaborator and his bones are missing. The last time I spoke to him he was a fresh recruit, merely fifteen, and he confessed he was losing his faith."

"My angriest child," Meru said with some pain. "I hope he found the Prophets near the end. I don't believe he was a traitor any more than I was!"

"I don't believe it anymore either. I never truly did. Reon hated the Cardassians and Collaborators more than me."

"Who is beside Taban, then?"

"A Cardassian man named Ghemor," Nerys explained. "He became something of a spirit father."

Meru gave her a shocked look.

"A tale for another time. Father was wounded in an attack. He died later, and I couldn't bear to watch him die. I had already lost the other Kiras by then. He was buried with your bracelet and his. He never remarried nor had any other children. He embraced his role as a father and was content with that. Reon and I made that no easy task."

"He shouldn't have died a bachelor! He shouldn't have died at all!"

"I know, but he never stopped loving you."

Meru stroked the grave dirt after speaking a short and modified version of the death chant. They would bring Vedek Navri here again for a proper funeral rite. They had wanted personal closure at this point in time. Nerys buried the man herself and visited plenty of times. This was the first time her mother was hearing the details of his death and seeing it with her own eyes.

"He was my greatest love," she declared. "He was cheated and he was not weak!"

"He got very religious after you were gone. He was very cross whenever Reon skipped services. Very little could make him truly angry. His garden became his bride and he earned the respect of all Bajorans. Likely that was because he became a model Bajoran and gave so generously. No one knew where the rations came from. It didn't matter because father sincerely helped every individual he could. I couldn't have asked for a better father."

"And this filthy cold cave was your home after twelve?"

"Shakaar, Lupaza, Furel, Sisica, and many others could make it seem homey at times," Nerys painted on a thin smile.

"I failed them!" Meru's voice trembled as she obviously referred to their missing family members. "I'm sorry that I was the weak link! I wish I had half your strength and ferocity, Nerys! You became a fighter and a disciplined soldier! You would have never accepted the lot I got! What did I do? I wore expensive dresses, ate the finest foods, warmed Dukat's bed and all while you slept in dirt with hard and bitter men! You learned to use weapons, to lead and command! You actually accomplished things!"

"Please stop, mother! I berated you and thought worse sometimes. But I was wrong! You have a different sort of strength. You were able to humble yourself, to swallow your dignity and pride. You were able to endure. In your shoes, I would have gotten myself killed and saved absolutely no one! You had to lie with that monster of a man while I kept something of my freedom! You outlived him! You won!"

Meru let out a bitter laugh, "I suppose I did. It feels a bit like a hollow victory until I hold you."

Nerys accepted her arms and chuckled, "You managed to charm that snake and cuckold him behind his back. He never suspected a thing, did he?"

"I don't think so. He never imagined I would cuckold him with a Cardassian woman. That was our advantage!"

"No one would have ever suspected such a paring, that's for sure! A Bajoran woman and a Cardassian woman? Did father know you are bisexual?"

"He suspected," Meru blushed. "You know, you're my daughter. It's hard to think of you as Luma now and I am horrified at some of the things I said when I saw you as a peer."

"Our relationship will probably never be quite the normal mother-daughter relationship. It can't be helped. We are not under normal circumstances. I think Ezri would agree. Our boundaries will be difficult to define."

"Is there anyone special in your life?" Meru wanted to talk about the future for once and happier things. "You mention this Shakaar a lot."

"I'm afraid if you are hoping for grandchildren the closest you will get is my surrogate son Kirayoshi living on Earth."

"Aren't we proof that miracles can happen?"

"Yes, we are."

"Can we see Pohl?"

"We should."

"You know that I couldn't possibly be more proud of you?"

Nerys nodded and bit her lip a little. No child ever got tired of hearing such words from a parent.

"You didn't have to forgive me or love me, you know?"

"You're my mother," she said with intense feeling.

"Does the house still stand where the family lived?"

"It does."

"I would like to dwell there and visit you on the station as often as we can arrange it. I demand you call me and tell me how you are doing even more frequently."

"That would be wonderful."

Meru clutched her close. For a moment she blinked and Nerys was a tiny three year old child again. Then she quickly transformed back into the gorgeous and strong willed woman she had become on her own. Luma Rahl, Kira Nerys, they were one in the same.

Sometimes Meru would look at her and see a peer rather than a daughter. No doubt there might be some bitter feelings still that they would have to iron and patch out. At least they had cracked the ice and nothing would be hidden or covered with lies. There was no bond in the universe stronger than the bond between a mother and daughter.

"I love you, Nerys," she kissed her again. "Rest easy, Taban, Reon and Pohl. Someday we will all be a family again. Let us pray."

„Dear Daughter" by Halestorm

Dear daughter
Hold your head up high
There's a world outside
That's passing by
Dear daughter
Never lose yourself
Remember that
You're like nobody else

Life throws you in
To the unknown
And you feel like you're
Out there all alone

These are words
That every girl should have a chance to hear
There will be love
There will be pain
There will be hope
There will be fear
And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
For you

Dear daughter
Don't worry about those stupid girls
If they try to bring you down
It's cause they're scared and insecure
Dear daughter
Don't change for any man
Even if he promises the stars
And takes you by the hand

Life throws you in
To the unknown
And you feel like you're
Out there all alone

These are words
That every girl should have a chance to hear
There will be love
There will be pain
There will be hope
There will be fear
And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
For you

Dear daughter
I was just like you
And just like me
You're gonna make it through

These are words
That every girl should have a chance to hear
There will be love
There will be pain
There will be hope
There will be fear
And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
And after all, I will be right here
For you