..?
He failed to understand.
Just why..?
The sight he saw in the field stunned him into freezing.
Why..?
The time he spent fighting in this war made him see the true nature of humans. He might not have been a hundred percent certain but he knew enough to judge his own kind. Blood dyed the earth a murky red, the scent of decaying corpses lingered in the air. The breeze carried it all over, just catching a whiff of it was enough to send someone hurling over in disgust. He hoped it would stop; the mindless killing, the pile of corpses that failed to cease in numbers.
However, the moment that the Führer sent the orders for State Alchemists to join in the war— no, rather, it was a one-sided massacre. The enemies, from the beginning, held not a candle against Amestrians. They were helpless and— this war failed to make sense. Roy forgot what they were even fighting for. The reason why this merciless killing kept going on. Innocent people got dragged into it, their blood raining in a battlefield where it just did not belong.
It felt wrong.
The State Alchemists got deployed, him included, and began the eradication of the Ishvalans. It was enough. They were enough. Hell, Roy alone could have done the same damage given enough time so why, he asked himself. Why was that person in the battlefield? Fighting alongside the State Alchemists when she was a simple scientist? She didn't belong here. This wasn't her specialty. She wasn't meant to be a weapon. Roy was supposed to come home after this war, with her waiting for him back at their usual place, resigning from her position and leaving behind the biological weapon she was forced to make.
Instead of that, Roy watched her utilize her own creation in the field; killing almost every Ishvalans in the vicinity. It took no less than a minute before their enemies dropped dead on the ground. Julliana Hong had killed and it looked so wrong in his eyes. Roy let out a carefully controlled stream of flames when he saw an Ishvalan charging from Ana's blindspot. The scent of burning flesh made him grimace and Roy noticed how green Ana looked in his place.
He approached her, pulling her close to him. "Roy—"
"It's okay."
"I can't—"
"Let me."
The sound of explosion echoed in the battlefield, the waves of heat reaching far across the land. The Flame Alchemist was furious. The rage he felt, he couldn't even explain it. Roy made eye contact with Riza Hawkeye, who nodded and watched their backs; her sharp eyes seeing minute movements in all this chaos. The woman in his arms kept trembling, and he felt his shirt get wet. Crying might have been out of place amidst the war but she was no soldier, she was no killer. Ana was just a scientist and his friend who he treasured greatly.
"Roy, don't—"
"Just let me."
"Please—"
Without warning, Ana stepped back away from him. Her tears long gone yet it left evidence in her eyes how all of this took its toll on her. The Flame Alchemist narrowed his eyes, his fingers twitching to snap and produce the flames that burned and scorched the earth. "Ana, stop right now—"
Yet, the scientist— now, alchemist— clapped her hands together, the alchemic circle tattooed on the back of her hands glowed a dusk orange, lightning crackling in the air. Almost everyone stopped in the area, as they witness every Ishvalan dropping dead like flies one by one with no obvious injuries. Roy's breath hitched to a stop as another river of tears streamed out of her eyes and fell on the scorched earth under her.
"Stop killing, Roy."
And it seemed that he wasn't the only one doing the protecting. But it was wrong; it was so wrongwrongwrong— this wasn't the Ana he had gotten to know. This wasn't the Ana who can be tough and be delicate at the same time. This wasn't the Ana who kicked the shit out of that one criminal and apprehended that guy easily when they first met. No, this wasn't the person Roy had come to know. This war, he gritted his teeth, fury swirling in those deep abyss of his eyes. Is meaningless.
"Ana—!" a hand stopped him. Riza looked at him in the eyes, her sniper at the ready beside her. "This area is clear. Move on to the next one." he felt conflicted. He didn't want to leave Ana by herself but the look his friend gave him made Roy sigh in defeat. The blonde sniper smiled at him, her features softening at his inner turmoil. "I'll handle her. Go." The Flame Alchemist glanced at Ana one last time before he moved on to the next area. Riza was right. They were still at war and his prowess in his flame alchemy was needed in the field.
As he left, Riza turned back to look at her new friend, someone who Roy had been talking about for a while now. Every time they met up, the alchemist couldn't stop talking about that strange woman who captured a criminal with ease. Even though Roy had repeated that story over and over again, Riza didn't believe a word he said until he told her that this Ana would be working for the military.
"Julliana."
No response came from the unmoving girl in front of her. With careful steps, Riza approached her and noticed how Ana's body trembled the slightest bit. To the untrained eyes, one wouldn't be able to tell but Riza's sight was by far the best there is. She reached out a steady hand for Ana's trembling ones, the blonde's own warmth spreading through the scientist's freezing fingers. "Ana," Riza uttered her name at last, causing the frozen woman to jolt out of her stupor. "We have to move."
"I... I can't—"
"You have done more than enough, Ana," the blonde sniper breathed out, tracing circles on her knuckles to keep the scientist focused. "Let me and the Major handle the rest." Hesitance glinted in her eyes yet the ginger head tightened her own grip around the blonde's hand. Riza smiled at this, tugging at her friend's arm in a soft manner as she led the both of them back to the nearest camp. Roy should have already gotten to the next area and Riza, for the first time, felt relief wash over her.
There were no sounds of explosions or the heat of flames. That would mean that the next area should have already been cleared before the Flame Alchemist got there. The less death he causes, the better. Riza soon saw the tents of their camp. "Hurry." The blonde made sure that her friend followed and led her inside, a couple of enlisted men were being treated at one corner while someone worked on the communications on the other side.
As the sniper guided her friend to sit on one of the many crates, she observed the effects of hair that was visible on Ana's face. The dark rings circling her eyes became prominent ever since this morning when she arrived in the battlefield. Riza remembered the few times they met up and the rings had already been there but not as visible as it was today. The indication of that caused a frown to curl down on her lips. Exhaustion painted Ana's features with such vividness that everyone could tell how this war weighed on a civilian's shoulders.
Riza placed down her weapon beside her, pulling out a dirtied handkerchief from her back pocket and handing it over to the traumatized woman. "Wipe yourself," she held the ginger head's hands tightly. "And stay here. You've done all you could. Leave the rest to us." As the sniper picked up her weapon and prepared herself to leave, the weak and defeated voice that belonged to none other than Ana stopped her before she stepped foot out of the tent.
"I... I killed them..." the blonde sniper's fingers curled tightly around the handle of her weapon. That heavy lacing every word was like a bullet straight to her heart. "They were innocent and I fucking killed them..." flashes of her victim's faces popped up in her mind and Riza's breath hitched when her memories stopped at the face of an Ishvalan child. "All of those people... dead... murdered because I was ordered to..." from where she stood, Riza heard the silent sobs that came from her friend.
"What... What the fuck does that make me... I... I didn't... why are we at war... there's no winner in this battle, at all... I made a virus that kills the nerves, Riza... no one knows but I do... the people I kill don't die an instant death. They feel every single nerve being fried from their ends until it fries their brain," a shaky and almost psychotic laughter escaped Ana's lips, one that sent shivers down Riza's spine. "I don't... why the fuck did I make, Riza? Why the fuck did I do what I did? For what? This country? Because the Führer ordered me to?"
Even without turning around, the blonde knew that Ana's lips curved upwards in bitterness. "I don't know who I am anymore. I just feel like shit ever since I got stuck with the military. And even when I want to end all of this, the faces of my munchkins would pop up in my head and I fucking hate it. God, I'm too soft for those three. I want to see them, Riza. How ironic, isn't it?" the sniper said nothing and let the noise around them fill in the silence between the two.
To be frank, Riza didn't really know half of what her friend felt right now and she didn't try to understand. But she knew one thing about the way Ana was acting and Riza disliked every bit of it. "Are you giving up now," the sniper asked, her voice steady and firm, as she turned around at last to look at Ana straight in the eyes with a stern gaze. "When you still have people waiting for your return?" Another silent ambience appeared between them but Riza didn't wait for an answer; no, she already wasted enough time here.
"And stay here. The Major and I will be coming home soon enough, wait for us back home." With a final click of her sniper rifle's safety, the blonde marched back into the battlefield. This time, she decided on a new objective. Survive and go home instantly to Ana's side. Because all of them were just broken pieces of a fragile glass and they needed each other to fix up the broken fragments of themselves; to put back the pieces they lost before this war took its toll on them.
Ana sat there on the crate with that same bitter smile marring her face. If her munchinks were here, they would tease her about the lines appearing far too often on her face and tell her how old she was getting. No matter how annoying they could be, Ana loved every single part that made them who they are. The scientist missed being a part of their little study back in that courtyard; doing nothing but learning about alchemy all day long. Winry would come and try to get them to do something aside from the Science all three of them dabble in.
That kind of repetitive and slow-going days brought back a nostalgic part of her past when she still had her own brother. Whenever she caught herself being lost in her memories, her munchkins would stop whatever they were doing and talked nonstop about some things. Maybe they knew that something bothered her or maybe it was because her eyes would sting when that happens; those kids just knew what to do to lift her spirits up. The onslaught of feelings and memories reminded her of the reason why she took the Führer's offer. She could have denied him of what he wanted; she didn't care if she was the enemy of the state.
The scientist handled herself better than most of the soldiers the military has to offer, anyway. What made her agreed was not because of Führer Bradley's threat; no, he made a good point. The war would have reached Resembool if it goes on and that place... that place was Ana's treasured home. Auntie Trisha had given her that and Ana would be damned if she let anything happen when she could do something. So she ended up here; using her own biological weapon utilized by alchemy to stop this war from spreading more.
However, she asked herself, "Was it worth it," because from what she saw, her actions did nothing but brew hatred in the hearts of the remaining Ishvalans. Innocents were killed in the crossfire of her alchemy; civilians murdered by the weapon she made. She asked herself, "Since when have I become a soldier," because she was a scientist first and foremost. A person who dabbled in science to better the world they live in. An alchemist a second. It widened the possibilities she thought she could never see.
But a soldier?
She never wanted to be a soldier.
Why did things come to this?
"M-Major Hong?" a timid voice called out to her. Ana lifted her head and glanced at Private Fuery who saluted at her look. "An order from HQ just arrived," he paused, as if thinking whether or not he should tell her. "They want you to head—" Ana cut him off by standing on her own two foot, startling the poor meek communication techie. "Tell them I'm heading there now. This area's been cleared so the rest of you follow as well."
"Understood!"
A sigh left Ana's lips as she walked out, the clanking chains of her pocket watch caused her eyes to trail down her waist. The glaring light reflected off the surface made her squint but it reminded her of the duties that threw all her principles away. She was a dog of the military and if she wanted to live, their orders came first and her priorities second. There was no running away, she noted unamused to herself, from the military from this point on. Even if she did, they would be after her every second of the day because of that fast-acting virus she created.
If she was the bad kind of person, she could have killed the Führer and everyone else by using it. She wasn't though and by the end of this war, she would destroy all research paoers, all the documents, and all sample and final products. No one should have that kind of knowledge that coukd threaten the entirety of Amestries, the world even.
By the time she was outside and heading West, the scent of burning and charred flesh hit her senses; accompanied by the metallic scent of blood that rained down on earth. Corpses of Ishvalans and Amestrians alike littered the battlefield. Some of them have eyes wide open in terror; she could see the devastating effects of this war not on the living but also the dead. They didn't plan on going to war; she didn't plan killing when she got here on this continent.
When she heard the sound of a loud explosion in the distance, she hurried her footsteps. The scent of charred flesh became prominent the closer she got and from where she was, she heard the screams that would haunt her every night for the rest of her life. She stumbled upon the sight of Ishvalans charging towards her friends and a few soldiers that followed their lead. Ana prepared her hands before she froze; her eyes seeing a family of civilians hiding behind a rock formation from her her elevated position.
"Shit." she cursed under her breath, her arms lowered themselves in defeat. Her new resolve shattered just by seeing another innocent lives amidst the chaos they didn't belong in. I'm gonna get fucking killed for the shit I'm about to do. Ana slid down the miniature hill she was on, making sure she didn't attract any attention from both Ishvalan warriors and Amestrian soldiers. It took her nocless than five minutes to arrive at the hiding place the civilians she saw from earlier hid in. One of them caught sight of her and was about to scream for helo when Ana shook her head, placing a finger in front of her lips.
The Ishvalans saw the transmutation circle on her hand and clamped quite fast; afraid of what will hapoen to them in the hands of a State Alchemist. "It's okay," Ana hushed when a child— a fucking child, goddammit— whimpered under her stare. "The area east to here is clear, and my camp will be moving shortly. We have to move fast if we don't want to get caught by them." It took the elder of the group to understand what Ana meant and the scientist didn't even fault the elderly woman when she received a scathing suspicious glare.
"Why must we follow an alchemist like yourself? You killed our people." Her breath hitched at the accusing tone but Ana couldn't deny the truth. Her silence unnderved the Ishvalans so she took a deep breath and looked straight into the elder's eyes. "I don't know what kind of answer you're expecting me to give you but I'm giving you a way out. You don't have to trust me," the scientist admitted. "It's up to you if you want to live or not." A moment of silence arose between them before the elder's lips curved down.
"Please." With that, Ana nodded. "Follow me."
oooOooo
War destroy the lives of many.
No one comes out victorious as both sides spilled blood and lost lives. One side more so than the other but it doesn't change the fact that they all lost someone precious to them.
oooOooo
Edward glanced at the horizon as he sat in front of their home. "Three long years, huh..." he muttered under his breath, bringing up his knees close to his chest. The blond hugged his legs and rested his chin on his knees. He waited for a familiar color of orange to peak over that hill; a voice almost resembling their mother's would greet him and Alphonse and the both of them would see that toothy smile their big sis would always give them. He missed hearing his nickname coming from her voice and even if that nickname annoyed him; it didn't change the fact that he longed to hear it.
Their big sis would send a letter sometimes but never did she call after that one time he hanged up on her. Edward had been so furious that time. Big sis Ana promised that she wouldn't leave them and then she had gone and left. "I miss you, big sis..." he breathed out. The soft creaking of the front door behind him reached his ears but Edward refused to tear his gaze away from the horizon. "Big brother, it's lunch time." The blind felt the earth beside him shift a little as Alphonse took a seat beside him. "Big sis Ana would be scolding you by now if you don't go to the kitchen, you know?"
A dry chuckle left Edward as he glanced at his younger brother. "I remember that. I was busy reading in the study. I heard big sis calling for me but I didn't budge. She had to come amd get me herself." Alphonse's lios curved up slightly at the memory. "She dragged you by the ear, big brother." The older Elric winced and remembered exactly how painful that had been. He reached up and caressed the ear their big sis dragged him by. "Yeah, that really hurt. I didn't even know she was that strong."
Alphonse threw his sibling an amused look. "Big sis Ana carried at least three bags of groceries filled with meat and vegetables. She also does the laundry by hand and runs in the morning. I'm not surprised she's strong." Edward perked up at his brother's words, giving the darker blond a strange look. "Big sis runs in the morning?" Laughter escaped Alphonse's lips which made Edward pout in response. "Yup! You've never seen her cause you always sleep in, big brother."
The older Elric let out a soft 'huh' under his breath as he continued his gaze on the horizon. "We don't know much about her, do we?" Alphonse threw his brother a curious look. "What do you mean?" A soft breeze brushed pass them in the silence, the comfor their home provided filled it the quiet between them. Edward pointed out something that neither of them truly thought about. For them, Julliana Hong was their big sis and that was that.
"Big sis never told us about the place she was born in or her previous home. Sure, she told us about her brother and the trouble they get into and that she was a traveler when we first met her, remember?" Edward straightened his legs before he decided to give up waiting for a familiar shade of orange to appear in the horizon as he laid down on his back with arms propped up behind his head. "She never said where her home was, what it looked like, if she still had people waiting for her; when we talked, it was always about Alchemy and Science," he paused for a bit.
"I'm just wondering if we really knew something about big sis."
That made Alphonse silent as he pondered on the words his brother said. "She hates string beans," he started which caused Edward to look at his younger brother in confusion. "But she likes eating raw red pepper... which I don't really understand how she could eat them." Soft wisps of clouds appeared in the horizon as Alphonse continued. "Big sis likes the cold and hates summer but she loves cloudy days the most because she mentioned it being just the right temperature."
"She likes the color yellow," Edward added in as he realized what Alphonse seemed to be getting at. "And has some sort of agenda with the color brown, for some odd reason. She likes to curse—"
"— but doesn't really curse around us—" Alphonse said with a laugh.
"—yeah," the same sound came from Edward at that fact. "And doesn't mind when people belittle her. She'll just sock them in the face to prove her worth. She helped better Resembool's agriculture. Big sis worries over small things."
"Like that one time I tripped and a loose piece of nail cut my leg. It wasn't even bleeding, just a surface wound but it did turn a nasty shade of red."
"She almost mauled old man Liam when she asked us where you got it."
The Elric siblings bursted into laughter in unison as they remembered the comically horrified expression of old man Liam when the scientist marched into his lands and scolded him about proper maintenance for his fences. Alphonse almost couldn't calm her down at the time. "See?" the younger Elric asked, making Edward pause. "We know a lot about her. You don't have to worry, big brother. I'm sure she doesn't hate you." the blatant admittance caught Edward off guard and he threw his brother a surprised look.
"That's what you're worried about, isn't it?" Alphonse inquired with a soft smile painting his features. "Big sis isn't the type of person who would hold a grudge, big brother. I'm sure she's aware that you only acted that way because it was anger speaking, not you. She loves us," the younger Elric's voice broke, tears beginning to sting his eyes. "And... And she promised to come home. She hasn't broken a promise yet. I'm sure... sure she wouldn't break this one now." Silent sobs made his body tremble. "I miss her, big brother."
"... me, too, Al. Me, too."
The glaring hole that her absence left behind stood out in the silence that appeared between the siblings. Their home didn't feel like their home anymore without her with them. They missed the way she would scold them for their stupidty, they missed the way she would yell for them when food is ready but most of all, they missed the way she would say how much she loves them every night when they head to bed and how she would look after them for as long as they would let her.
Julliana Hong was their only lifeline and if something were to happen, the Elric siblings were bound to do something stupid.
oooOooo
"I'm sorry... we don't know what happened... at the end of the war, she's gone missing. No one knows what happened. We're still on the lookout, I assure you, Ms. Rockbell."
Edward, Alphonse, and Winry stared at the bringer of news with horror in their eyes. They couldn't believe what the soldier in front of them was saying. Pinako Rockbell hummed in distraught, the news itself changed the jolly atmosphere in their home. That morning, all of them had been ecstatic to hear that war had come to an end. All that fighting, all of those killing; done and over with. Ana would finally go home, she would hug them all at the same time, and tell them how much she missed her little munchkins.
Why did it turn out this way..?
"Thank you... for telling us." the soldier saluted and left.
"What... she was supposed to be here by now..." Edward whispered in disbelief. "She promised! She promised, dammit!"
"Edward—" Pinako tried to talk to the blond but he ran out in tears. She turned to Winry and Alphonse who seemed to be frozen in place.
Ana... where are you?
Author's Note
Reviews are really, really appreciated! Please tell me what you think! Or well, whatever comment you guys may have XD I just really love FMA so I had thisburge to write this fanfic.