Knocking on the cabin door, finding it locked, Carrie loudly started knocking, yelling for Farrah who ran up and quickly unlatched it.
"Carrie!"
Hurtling over to her the girl practically jumped into her arms, held on for dear life. Carrie held her back just as tightly, tearing up when she started crying, saying in Arabic how afraid she'd been.
"Shhh, shhh, everything's fine. I'm fine. It's okay, I'm okay.", she soothed, shifting from a crouched over to a sitting position on the cabin floor as Farrah curled up in her lap. Buried her face in her chest as she cried.
They sat there holding each other for a long time, until finally they both calmed somewhat.
Farrah was the first to pull back, but frowned nervously pointing up at Carrie's swollen and bloodied nose, the bruise forming beneath her eye.
"They..the..the man hurt..."
"Yeah.", Carrie sighed, sounding like a girl of Farrah's age. She hated admitting it but the proof was all over her face.
"But it's okay. It's doesn't feel as bad as it looks."
Still frowning Farrah shook her head, confused.
"Farrah? What's wrong?"
"You..get hurt? But you...you strong. You, don't get hurt!", she insisted. So long as she'd known Carrie she'd seen her as a superhero. A tall skinny blonde spy superhero who always got away too quickly to get hurt. She beat up the bad guys. None of them had ever beaten her back, and Farrah didn't understand how these men had been able to.
"No honey. No. That's not..."
Trailing off, bunching the tissue more against her nose, Carrie sighed.
"Look, even though I know how to fight and I know how to get away, once in awhile I wind up getting hurt. Sometimes the bad guys get the better of me. Sometimes they're big with big fists, or they have guns.", she said but regretted her words when Farrah shuddered. Slipping an arm around her she held her close again.
"With those guys today, I fought them hard. They hurt me back but I didn't care. I did what I had to to give you time to get away, and I'd do it all over again so long as it kept you safe. That's all I care about, okay?"
Nodding, Farrah snuggled closer to her as Calvin walked up, purring and rubbing up against them.
"Hey, did you miss me too?"
Carrie lightly laughed, giving him an ear and belly rub before he scampered after a dust bunny. Farrah smiled but then her face went serious.
"Carrie, where's Nick? He say he be back after-"
"Brody went for a walk, Farrah. After he and I took care of the bad guys he said he wanted to get some air. Clear his head."
"He be back soon?"
"I don't know, honey. May be awhile. C'mon though, before he gets back..."
Getting to her feet she helped Farrah up.
"If you grab the first aid kit out of the closet, bring it over to the bathroom and you can pretend that you're Maggie, help fix my face up."
Eagerly Farrah nodded, ran to get the kit while Carrie walked over to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, frowning as she assessed the damage.
...
Meanwhile Brody, after taking the longer route back to the cabin, walked down by the dock and watched the water for a few moments. Then stripped down to his boxers and dove in, swimming laps back and forth as hard as he could. He tried to fill his head with thoughts of last night. How happy and stupid and fucking free he felt, they felt splashing around in the water, getting drunk in the bath, sitting outside watching the rain fall in sheets, her sleepily demanding he stay.
If he thought about that, fixated on it, maybe the rest would just float away. He hoped anyway.
Finally, worn out he climbed back onto the dock. Sprawling out on his back he dried off in the sun, shutting his eyes for awhile before working up the nerve to go back inside.
Carrie was on the couch French braiding Farrah's hair. Brody could only see her in profile but noticed the cotton and gauze bunched underneath her nose, and a Snoopy bandage striped across her cheek.
Farrah didn't look up from her book, but Carrie heard the door swing open and turned slightly to face him, stormy eyed.
"Farrah, honey.", she said, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Did you feed Calvin yet?"
"Oops. I forget."
"Well go ahead, your braid's all finished."
Jumping off the couch she saw Brody by the door and grinned, ran over to hug his waist.
"Thank you Nick."
"You're welcome, brat.", he said sincerely. Getting to her level he hugged her back tightly, kissed her head before she skipped over to the kitchen. Calvin at her heels.
Warily Brody stood back up as Carrie looked down, away from him.
"Can we talk?", he asked as she shrugged, met his gaze again.
"Are you sure you don't want to run off and avoid me? The door's right there, wouldn't dare keep you from it."
"Carrie..."
"No, don't Carrie me. You don't get to Carrie me.", she spat before biting her lip, remembering Farrah was in earshot.
Motioning for him to step outside she angrily strode off the porch, down to the dock as he followed.
Crossing her arms she stared out at the water, swallowed hard before speaking.
"Why did you run? From me?"
"Carrie I didn't-"
"Because barring our first weekend when everything went to shit, you've run to me, Brody. With me.
You didn't run when I got a goddamn SWAT team called on you, when I burst into your office after Gettysburg, after I held a gun to your head, had a full blown fucking episode..", she scoffed but then shuddered, averted her eyes in the pained way she would when she mentioned Iraq, her translator.
Sadly Brody walked up, went to touch her shoulder but she shook him off.
"You're not afraid of that, you're not afraid of knocking Nazis out. But when I call you on it you take off?"
"I came back, Carrie."
"I see that. I want to know why you left in the first place."
"It doesn't matter, love."
"It does if you intend on calling me that!", Carrie retorted as he stepped back, looked stricken.
"Brody. This time we've spent up here. The whole time it's been so..." Not even knowing a word to describe it she laughed, tearfully and disbelievingly.
"Real?", he offered as she nodded, her smile going sad.
"If you feel it too then why did you run? Cut me out? Leave me standing alone in the middle of the damn woods and feeling like I royally fucked up with you, again.", she scoffed, remembering two times prior she'd felt similarly.
"Carrie I just needed some space, that's all."
"And all I needed was for you to talk, explain what went through your mind when you-"
"When I what, jumped to your defense? Is that what has you so upset?, Brody asked curiously, bitterly, desperate to get her interrogation lamp off him for a minute, maybe more.
He wanted the flashback triggered today to crawl back into the ugly depths of his psyche. Not to be exposed and magnified and rooted out. He wasn't up for it. And didn't want to put Carrie in the position to take charge of doing so tonight. Even fighting with her would be less excruciating than another Q&A.
"Seriously, is that the root of all this? You not needing a protector?", he mocked as she strode up, glared at him.
"You said as much last night in the tub. And you're not one to refrain from disclosing when alcohol's involved."
He knew it was a cheap shot but he hoped it worked, would distract her. From the ice in her eyes though he knew it hadn't.
"Don't you fucking dare try and talk your way out of this, turn things back on me! I asked you a question and I deserve a goddamn answer. Not you trying to turn this into an inane debate over my pride, my precious ego being bruised.", Carrie snarled.
"Which, for the record, it wasn't. I admit, I needed help today. Knowing Farrah was close by wasn't making what I had to do in the clearing any easier. You showing up when you did was needed. Necessary even. I've done my job long enough to know backup's not something to be ashamed of."
Feeling ashamed himself Brody sighed, dropped his gaze while his left hand twitched, fingered invisible prayer beads. He hadn't done that since he was on the run, and Carrie was surprised seeing it as well.
"Brody, your-"
"Don't. I just picked up the habit again. It's nothing."
"When?", she frowned.
"When what?"
"When did you pick it up again?"
"A kid saw me doing it on a train overseas. Pointed it out. So did your friend June when she was helping me."
"It's been that long?"
Shrugging Brody glanced up at her.
"Guess so."
"You know, before I left for Baghdad, my cover didn't call for it but I got a copy of a Qur'an, did some research. I even talked to Danny."
"About Islam?", he asked getting a nod.
"I'd taken a few courses on it in college but I wanted a refresher for myself. Plus.."
"What?"
"I don't know, I guess it helped me still feel connected to you, in a way."
Taken aback at the words, more importantly the sentiment behind them, Brody smiled and so did she. Only her's soon turned to a smirk.
"But even not having read up on anything, even being a fucking Atheist, I know you wouldn't be praying, wouldn't be going for beads that aren't on you unless you were..."
"What.."
"Upset. Uneasy, unsure, unsettled. As far from 'free' as you've ever fucking been.", she said knowingly as he rolled his eyes, went to turn away but she took hold of his upper arm, shot him a stern look.
"And we're not leaving this dock until I figure out why."