CHAPTER 4 : Hogsmeade, love and blood.

It was now mid-November. Two months and a half since school started again, since Ron and Hermione left for the Southern Hemisphere. Ginny was getting ready for the first trip to Hogsmeade of this final year. More specifically, it would also be her first real date with Harry, and boy she was looking forward to it.

Truth is, Ginny was never much of the girly cliché, being into boys, dates, and pretty dresses. You don't really get to be that kind of girl growing up with that many big brothers. But after the last year, a year of pain and resistance against the Carrows, a year of indescribable fear of not knowing where Ron, Harry and Hermione were, a year of war and losses, being just a regular girl on a date sounded like heaven. Like the life she fought for and finally deserved.

She didn't really know who to ask for help for her makeup, it's not like she was use to wear some. A younger girl in the Gryffindor dorm, a fifth year called Johanna, took a make-up case worthy of a professional from under her bed and offered to save her.

"What do you want?" she asked". "Something worthy of a gala at the Ministry? Something that says "please kiss me"? Or something a bit more formal?"

"I don't know…" Ginny felt lost in a world that wasn't hers. "Something a bit natural maybe? I don't want to spook him, I still want him to think I'm me… You see what I mean?"

"Of course. Don't move, I got it!"

She did a wonderful job, Ginny thought. The red lipstick was discreet enough, and the mascara made her eyes looked a bit brighter. In a word, she loved it, and she was glad enough to recognize herself in the mirror.

She made the trip to Hogsmeade with Luna. The two of them were inseparable, even while not being in the same House. When Luna went missing the previous year, she still had Hannah and Neville to keep her afloat, but she missed the Ravenclaw more than she'd had thought. But now that the elder member of the D-A were gone, Luna was pretty much the only real friend she had left, or at least the only one who really knew what she went through.

Despite her friend's usual good mood, Ginny was stressed, almost scared. It's been ten weeks since the last time she saw Harry, and his letters always felt strange to her. Maybe he changed his mind about her? Maybe he was here to break up with her, because this long-distance thing was too hard to handle? Maybe he found someone else during his days alone? The more she thought about it, the harder her heart was beating and the weaker her knees were getting.

"You know" said the blond one with her usual calming voice "Harry loves you very much. I could always see that. He looks at you the way my mother used to look at my father. I would not worry much, if I were you."

With a nod and a smile, Ginny thanked her, took a deep breath, and pushed the door of the Hog's Head Inn.

"Ginny! Luna!" yelled someone.

The pub was already quite crowded, even though it was only 1pm and the Hogwarts students had just arrived.

"Neville! What the hell are you doing here! Hannah?!"

Ginny run to her former housemate and jumped in his arms, then kissed the Hannah on the cheeks. It was so good to see them.

"Yeah, I told them about your day-off, thought that maybe you would like to see them as well…"

The voice behind her felt deeper than usual, but she recognized it instantly. She turned around faster than a wind vane.

Harry was wearing a long, luxurious dark coat above a deep-red shirt with Gryffindor's "G" embroidered in golden, above his heart. His jeans looked brand new, and his hair a bit longer, but she could tell he tried to tame it a little bit. He was growing some early facial hairs, and despite his early age, she could tell that he would have a nice beard if he decided to let it grow. He also looked a bit more muscular, but maybe that was the coat… He was handsome.

"Damn Ginny" he said with a grin. "I always thought you were gorgeous, but this is a whole new level! You are… Whoah!"

She blushed.

"Shut up, big idiot. Kiss me hello at least!"

And so he did. She heard Neville and some of her Gryffindor friends cheering and whistling, but she paid attention to nothing but Harry's lips. They felt a bit rough, but sweet, and he tasted liked a good flavoured beer. She was going to break it off to breathe at last when he surprised her with the tip of his tongue, sneaking between her lips, before stepping back.

"Just a tease", said his smile.

"I love you", he said for real. "Come on, join us! We already started, I hope you don't mind."

He turned back to Luna to greet her properly, and made room for them to their table. She looked at him while sitting, not knowing what to think, what to feel. Why did he invite them? Did he want to avoid being alone with her? Or was it a purely genuine thought? On one hand she felt so happy to see Neville and Hannah again, on the other hand she felt the bitter taste of disappointment, her hope of a romantic date now dead in the water. She felt the guilt of such selfish thoughts, as her friends were here just to have good time with her.

"What's with the sad face?" asked Seamus, arriving with a tap on her shoulder.

The whole gang was here. Damn, the Inn was about to get super packed…

"Here, Ginny, this is for you", said Harry, handing her a thin gift wrap with a golden ribbon.

She looked at him with wide eyes. Where was this coming from? It took her a few second to regain her spirits and be able to take the gift from his hands, trying hard to prevent her owns from shaking. She tore the paper without a word, and unfold it in front of everyone.

"Harry…" she whispered.

It was "only" a shirt, but an undeniably beautiful one. The deep dark color of the fabric was decorated with blood-red interlacing threads at the cuffs and the colar. A bright golden "G" on the heart side was enlightening the whole cloth. It looked a bit male-ish but it was without a doubt custom made for a woman, and designed to match Harry's own shirt.

"What do you think?" he asked, all smile.

"I.. Harry… I don't… I can't accept it…"

Harry's smile faded, and his eyes darkened.

« I'm sorry ? » he asked with a poorly hidden anger. « What do you mean ? »

Ginny saw right away that she made a mistake and vexed her boyfriend. He just gave her a wonderful present, out of the blue, combined with the gift of bringing her friends with him, and she almost spat on his face.

« I'm mean... It's too much. And I don't have anything for you... »

« Damit Ginny, don't be such a prude ! » jumped in Seamus with his heavy accent she liked so much. « The man just outdid himself, go and try this out! Or I can try it for you, if you're scared that the git put some nasty spell on it ! But i'm not sure that I would fit in, i might stretch it a bit ! »

Everyone, including Harry, laughed and tease back, to the relief of the young Weasley. She took back her new shirt and headed for the toilets without a word.

The cloth fit perfectly. It was slightly tight at the chest, maybe made her look a bit more sexy than what she was used too, but she liked it. The red of her hair matched perfectly with the paterns of the shirt, she looked stunning, and for once, she thought that much as well. She tried to take of one more button, but the cleavage was now was too enticing for her own taste. She would keep for some alone time with Harry.

When she finally stepped out, she was welcomes by cheers and whistles.

"Damn, Ginny you look hot!" teased Seamus. "Who know a male shirt was all you needed?"

"This suits you very well" smiled Hannah.

"Try not to stain it with Butterbeer!" laughed Neville, handing her a pint.

Harry was still sitting back in his chair, without a word, but a bright smile on his face. She was relieved…

Time was flying fast, and soon the kids at the Inn, hoping to get a glimpse of the Hogwarts Heroes, had to leave and got replaced by workers finishing their day-shifts, and so the pub was still packed to its full capacity.

Last year student were allowed by Headmistress McGonagall to stay later and come back to the castle with the last train. It was not very like her to be so permissive, but the old woman knew that spending time with their friends and brothers in arms was more than helpful to help these young warriors to cope with their losses and trauma, and to start moving on.

The laughs were more quiet now, discussions more serious. The D.A members had left their spot at the table for some tired working men, and were now standing at the bar. Seamus and Neville were talking about possible careers, while Luna was discussing some weird creature she swore she saw during the holidays with Hannah.

"'Harry" whispered Ginny in Harry's ear "I'm sorry about earlier. About the gift. I love it, I do really really love it. I don't know how you manage to get the size so perfectly."

"Well, I'm glad to see that I still have some hidden skills!" he laughed. "No, more seriously, I got a little help, from your mother. Sorry for breaking the magic. You really like it? For real?"

"Yes Harry, I do really. I'm just… well, I felt a bit embarrassed of not having anything for you in return, that's all. You offered me Alexander, and now this… not to mention the unbelievable luck of having you as a boyfriend, of loving me. I don't feel like I deserve this, you know? And I don't see how I can ever repay this. I mean…"

"Don't, Ginny." He smile was still here, but tainted with sadness. "Look, if I'm really honest, I don't really know what I'm doing. You might be younger, but you have more experience with relationships than me, from what I know. I don't know, I just… I thought the only way to prove my love to you was doing this. Gifts… I don't know, now that I'm saying this out loud it seems so stupid, I just don't really know how to do this, Gin… I love you, from the bottom of my heart, but I don't feel like a can express it enough. I need to find a way to get this out of my soul to be sure that you know it. To make sure that you won't leave me."

She was about to cry, feeling both so lucky and so scared that she would not be able to live up to such a love.

"You don't have to do all this know?" she finally managed to say. " Just you showing up here means more to me than you'd think. You don't have to drown me in gifts to prove your love, I trust you enough to take your word on that."

She chuckled a bit, and it kissed her, lightly, slowly, lovingly.

"I'll be right back" he whispered, heading for the loo.

"Oh come on!" she yelled. But she was laughing. In a way, there was no world where Harry Potter could be romantic for more than a minute.

When Harry came out, the first thing he heard was the voice of Neville, cold and angry.

"Leave her alone! I'm not asking twice!"

"What? You think I can't be a good company for her?"

Harry rushed back and found a tall black-haired man, his arm around Luna's shoulders. She looked very uncomfortable, and freed herself in a twist.

"What's going on?" asked Harry.

"This loser is dumb enough not to know when his attention is unwanted!"

"I just thought she was very pretty and I wanted to… Oooh ! But my! Isn't that Baby Potter? The golden Hero of Hogwarts!"

Harry looked at him, detailing him from feet to hair. 22 or 23 years old, three-days beard, black of hair and blue of eyes, big teeth escaping his mouth from the front, he reminded him of someone, but he could not tell who. He was already drunk for sure, but was still standing steady, and his blue eyes looked very much lucid.

"What?" asked the stranger, opening his arms. "You don't recognize your good old opponent? They use to call me Captain Flint, back then!"

"Marcus Flint…" whispered the Gryffindor. "Yeah I remember you, now. What the hell are you doing here?"

"I work here at Hogsmeade, at Spintwitches Sporting Needs!"

"And you made a habit of bothering young girls not even out of school?"

Flint's smile turned into a nasty grin. He took a step forward chin high.

"I don't know, I just saw her looking at me like she wanted me, so I thought, maybe I had a shot. I couldn't tell that the little blond sweetie was not even of age. Speaking of that, how's that other girlfriend of yours, the muggleborn. Granger, was it?"

Harry rushed forward, but Neville hold his arm in his way to stop him.

"Let it go, Harry, he's not worth it."

"Get the fuck out of here, Flint," growled Harry without a look at his mate. "Or I swear to you that I'll make you."

The whole room was now silent, looking at them, holding their breath, mixed with excitation and embarrassment. Especially Flint's mates, wondering why their buddy was stupid enough to pick up a fight with such a legend. But Marcus was not over, the alcohol rushing through his veins making him forget all sense of danger.

"What, Potter? You think because you got lucky against the Dark Lord that you can do everything you want, like you're the goddamn Minister of Magic? Be careful, some of your friends here could get hurt only so you could throw a punch at me. Tell me again, how many of them died so you can be a "hero"?"

This time, Neville's arm was not enough to stop him. He launched forward like a missile, and even if Marcus Flint was expecting a blow, he did not manage to dodge the flying fist that hit him in the stomach. He bent forward, trying to catch a breath, when Harry grabbed him by the hair and smack his face against the counter.

Once.

Twice. One of his big teeth broke.

Three times. "Harry, stop!" he heard someone yell in his ears.

Four… Someone grabbed him by the shoulders before his could finish the hit, forcing him to let go. Knocked out, mouth in blood, Flint fell on the floor, and Harry did his best to land a final kick in his guts while the whole crowd was now trying to get him away from his victim.

He caught his breath and looked around. Everyone was now glaring at him in shock. Ginny, hands before her mouth, was staring at him like he was a monster out of a book. Without a second thought, he grabbed his coat and stormed out. He did not even hear Ginny rushing after him.

"Harry! Harry please stop! By Merlin, Harry, STOP!"

The cries in her voice reached his heart, and he finally stopped walking like he had the devil on his trail, but he still could not speak a word.

"Harry" she asked when she finally reached him, grabbing him by the cuffs of his coat, "what was that? What did you go all berserk on him?"

"You heard him Ginny!" he yelled. "You heard how this bastard talked about Hermione! And Luna! How he disrespected all of us, and the ones we lost! How he spat on Remus, and Sirius, and Tonks! And your brother!"

Ginny raised both her hands to his cheeks and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"I know, Harry. The guy's a jerk and he probably deserved to be taught a lesson, but not like that, love. You almost killed him down there!

"I know! I know… I'm sorry Gin, I'm sorry that I ruined the evening, I…"

"Harry! Look at me! It's okay. I'm fine. You don't have to be on your guard like that all the time. You don't have to save the world anymore. The war is over."

"BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER"! he snapped, stepping back from her hands. "IT CAN'T BE OVER!"

Ginny, eyes opened in shock, stared at him in disbelief.

"Harry…"

"It can't be over!" he repeated. "It can't! Because if it is, it means that all this anger, all this hate I have inside, all this rage that I hear screaming in my ears, none of it have any purpose! I'm not fine, Gin! I spent all my life since I discovered magic jumping from one death threat to another! I feel more scared now that I ever felt during last year, because back then I feared Voldemort, but he was still far, in a way, plotting in his corner and I was keeping myself busy. But now, now I'm scared of myself, and I'm always with me! I'm feeling good, sleeping well, and then suddenly, I feel myself drowning in rage and anger, coming from who knows where! I can't handle the slightest frustration without wanting to burn the whole world, and I'm constantly scared of why I might do if I lose control! I mean, I don't feel like I'm still at war, I feel like I still should be! That I don't belong here, laughing and drinking with you and Neville and the others, but to the battelfield"

A voice in Ginny's mind screamed to run for her life, run away and never see that man again, but instead she moved toward him. She showed no fear, nothing but resolve.

"Harry, listen to me. It's okay. It's alright to feel like this after what you've been through. You're not the only one. I feel this way too."

"Really?"

"At least something similar. I can't walk the castle's hallways without looking behind me every ten steps. I can't hold my wand and practice a spell at school without wondering if it could be used to hurt someone. I keep wondering why we keep Slytherins in the castle, when I know that they're just innocents, at least most of them. It's hard Harry. I keep seeing Bellatrix Lestrange dying before my eyes, or the body of Fred."

"I... I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't!" She was started to get angry. Upset. "You never bothered to ask me! You never asked what we went through while you were on your crusade against the Dark Lord! What his Death Eaters did to us! The pains we went through! The blood we shed!"

"I know I didn't ask! It just because... Look, as long as I don't actually know what they did to you, I can't picture it, in my mind. If I did, I would just go insane. I can barely stand the thought of you suffering because of them. Seing it, imagining it, would just end me..."

"I understand." Her voice calmed down, her traits softened. "When I think about what they put you through, and Hermione, and Luna... When I think back at Hagrid holding you dead in his arms, I wanna punch through every walls just to get the anger out... But that's behind us now, Harry. This may be part of us, but it's not who we are."

Harry looked at her with a smile to hide is disappointment. For a second he thought that maybe, maybe she would understand, and share his vision of justice. But he knew that Ginny was too sweet, to righteous for that. She was so much stronger than him in this way. But the talk at least helped him to get his bloodlust in check. For now.

"You're right" he whispered. " and I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know I should give myself some time, it's just…"

"…easier said than done. I know. But it's alright."

A/N : I'm actually very proud of this chapter. i hope you will like it!

A/N2 : Because I am in the middle of moving to another country, and also because i'm writting another story at the same time, it took me a bit of time to write this. From now on, i don't really know when i'll be able to update, but i'll try to stick to once a week.