New Beginnings Chapter 16, a signed, sealed, delivered fanfic

Chapter 16

Monday Oliver went to work leaving Shane with her mother. Shane was sitting on the porch swing with the dogs lying next to her. "You'll call me if you need anything." Oliver requested on the way to the car running a hand over her hair. She was still looking pale and tired. He knew she hadn't been sleeping well her tossing and turning waking him up several times.

"Yes. We'll be fine Oliver." He kissed her before leaving.

Shortly after he left, her mother opened the front door to join her. Shane was reminded of five months earlier when her mother joined her on the swing at her house. "Morning Crackers."

After swinging for a time, "Shane the physical pain passes. It's the pain in your heart that sticks around longer. You'll need to find a way to let it go. If not for yourself for Oliver. People rarely talk about how often this happens when starting or adding to a family. When you first join the club, it's bigger than you realize. You don't have to go through this alone."

Shane saw the look on her mother's face. "When?"

"After you and your sister, our marriage was starting to have problems. I don't know why we thought a baby would fix things. We were young. I was almost three months along. We hadn't told you girls yet. Your dad and I just couldn't make our way back to each other afterwards. I was still shocked when he left."

"You've never talked about what happened," Shane said.

"For the longest time it hurt too much. By the time it didn't, I was busy raising two beautiful head strong girls on my own. I had my hands full," she said smiling.

Shane grasped her mother's hand. "I feel numb. I know Oliver wants to talk. I don't know what to say."

"Start with that. Don't shut him out." Anna changed the subject knowing Shane would need time to think about what she said. They spent the morning watching movies. Oliver called to check on them several times. While Shane slept in the afternoon, Anna worked. Her office had set up a laptop for remote work. For not having the dogs long she noticed they were very protective of Shane sticking close to her while she slept.

Dale arrived with dinner shortly after Oliver got home from work. Since Shane was feeling better, Dale stayed to eat with them. As they were finishing dinner, Dale took a file out of her bag. "I brought some pictures from cases Shane and I have worked on together. I thought you might want a copy," she said to Anna.

Shane rolled her eyes when Oliver started laughing. "Dad and I have wanted to see these," he said.

"Pictures of cases?" Anna asked confused.

"Not exactly," Dale answered with a smile. When she opened the file, Anna saw sketches she recognized as Shane's doodles. "The team at the office keep a collection of Shane's sketches around."

Dale had organized them by types of cases they worked on. "These are from the money laundering cases we worked on. These are all theft cases. These were drug cases and that last one was an arson case." She told back stories on the cases she could keeping Anna and Oliver entertained.

As she was leaving, Shane gave her a hug. "Thank you for dinner and the drawings for my mother."

After Dale left, Anna went to her room to finish working and to give Oliver and Shane time together. "You seem to be feeling better," Oliver commented. They were sitting on the back steps watching the dogs meander around the yard.

"I slept most of the afternoon again."

"You need it to heal." He put his arm around her waist.

They went to bed early. Shane fell asleep immediately. Oliver watched her sleep for a while before getting back up. He went to his home office and sat at his desk. Noticing Shane had left her tablet there charging he turned the music on softly. Casting Crowns had been the last thing playing. He listened to a couple songs before 'Just Be Held' started playing.

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go

Shane had woken and found him halfway through the song, tears slowly running down his cheeks as he listened. She stood glued by the doorway realizing he'd been holding it together for her. As the song ended, Oliver stopped the music wiping his face when he saw her.

"I'm sorry I let you down." She said softly.

He stood up moving towards her. "Shane what are you talking about?"

"If I had realized what was going on sooner, maybe…," vocalizing the guilt she'd felt.

"Don't ever think that," he interrupted her. He took her face in both his hands to make sure she was looking at him. "There wasn't anything you or I could have done. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened. You never let me down." Feeling some of the numbness fade she leaned into him crying. He picked her up and sat back down in his chair letting her sob while he held her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Anna in the doorway with a tear running down her face. She must have heard Shane crying. Seeing he had it under control she left them to grieve together. Shane eventually fell asleep in his arms exhausted. He carried her back to bed holding her as they slept.