Okay so this chapter is longer, covers quite a bit of ground but real life's interfered so damn much lately it's been tougher for me to update regularly. I hope this makes up for that. I'm still invested though and still plan to keep on with this story, so long as it's holding interest. Thanks so much to indigo and livulmann for the reviewage. If anyone out there is still glancing at this though please drop me a line, tell me what you think. Positive, negative, I'm a big girl I can take it. Anyway, here goes nothing. :)
Jarred awake when she heard the door swing open, heard footsteps, Carrie rolled over on her side only to see Saul pacing the floor, looking ready to explode.
"So, where is he?", he asked gruffly as she sat up, shook her head.
"Saul..."
"Already at the rendezvous point? You're just waiting for Farrah before you take off, find him and flee town?"
"Yeah. I thought I should let her come home, have her snack before I handed her her fake passport and new identity."
Rolling her eyes as she got out of bed, Carrie crossed the room then stood near, leaned back against her dresser. Refusing to even make eye contact with the man to her right. Now looking at her dumbstruck and disapprovingly.
"This is no time for fucking jokes, Carrie. Christ, don't you realize the damage that schmuck has caused?"
"Don't you realize the damage I've caused?"
"What are you talking about?"
"C'mon, Saul.", Carrie sighed, turning to face him.
"I'm the one that let Brody crash once he arrived at the cabin. I'm the one who turned my back and let him run.
If you're that desperate to punish someone in all of this.."
"Still, with this.", Saul grumbled.
"Even after everything you still come to the fucker's defense, protect him. Take responsibility for all the bullshit he's dragged you through? Is dragging you through!"
"Why shouldn't I? I'm just following your example!"
"What's that supposed to mean?", he frowned as Carrie snorted, looked at him incredulously.
"Do you think your mentoring me for over fourteen years meant something wasn't bound to rub off? Every time I've fucked up who's there to take the fall, cover for me, come to my defense? Where do you think I learned it from?", she asked combatively.
"You're not a wanted fugitive with a price on your head.", Saul pointed out as Carrie shrugged, lightly laughed. Knowing that the opposite could've been the case had she stuck to the original plan with Brody.
"Right, as if I'm incapable of that.", she scoffed.
Letting out a heavy sigh Saul looked on somberly, held her gaze.
"I guess you've got that right. You are bending over backwards to protect a goddamn terror suspect. To most everyone you look as bad as the fuckers we put away."
"And let me guess, I look that exact way to you right now?", Carrie asked angrily.
Saul didn't respond but from the look on his face, she had her answer anyway. Getting her laughing bitterly as she shook her head, teared up and turned away.
"As bad as one of them. That's quite a far cry from your star recruit who only knew you as Mr. Berenson, right?", she muttered, knowing full well he could hear her. Shaking her head she crossed her arms, turned to face the window.
"Please go. Farrah's going to be home soon and, I can't-"
"Carrie..."
"I said go!", she cried, then heard the door shut as he did.
...
After Saul stepped out, not even acknowledged by him as he did so Virgil tensed up. Picking up Calvin before going upstairs.
The kitten mewed in protest the entire walk up the steps.
"Yeah I know. You think I like seeing your owner-mom upset?"
Knocking softly on the bedroom door he sighed, seeing the lights dimmed and Carrie curled up on her side in bed.
"Carrie?"
"What time is it?", she asked hoarsely, her voice muffled against the bed pillow.
"It's almost three. What time do you want me to get Farrah at the community center?"
"I'm fine, Virgil. I'll go."
"Don't give me that. You're going to take a nap, a shower, do whatever you need to to get yourself together before she gets here."
Sitting up, wiping at her eyes Carrie sighed. Prompting Virgil to sit next to her on the bed, rub her shoulder reassuringly.
"C'mon. You know Saul will cool off soon enough. The man loves you, Carrie. He has since day one."
"He said I was no better than the fuckers we put away, Virgil. And right now Brody's acting just like a fucker I should've put away.", she spat.
"Who runs after leaving a fucking note like that, I don't-"
"Wait, back up. What did he...?"
"Nothing. Forget it."
"Carrie..."
Not getting a response as she resumed her earlier position on the bed, Virgil set Calvin down on top of Carrie's shoulder before stepping out, shutting the door behind him before pulling out his phone.
Once downstairs he scrolled through his contacts, dialed one of the numbers he'd luckily thought to program in.
"Hello?"
"Danny?"
"Hey Virgil."
"Hang on. Sorry, still trying to figure out this new fucking phone. I thought I dialed Maggie's house?"
"Yeah, you did."
"You son of a...didn't waste any time there did you?", Virgil laughed, but sensed Danny's non-amusement over the phone.
"Why are you calling, Virgil?"
"It's Carrie."
"What about her?", Danny asked nervously.
"She had a run-in with Saul."
"Let me guess. Brody didn't show up for-"
"Yeah."
"Son of a bitch. How's Carrie?"
"How the hell do you think?", Virgil sighed.
"She's upstairs now trying to get herself together before Farrah gets home."
"Well look, I can get Farrah at the community center and I'll talk to Mags-"
"Mags?", he teased.
"I'll talk to Maggie. See if she can come by the house after her shift."
"After her shift? Danny, if I'm not home for dinner my wife's going to make me cook for myself. It'll be like last night. Ramen noodles and Fruity Pebbles."
"At the same time?", Danny grimaced.
"Had some plain yogurt between courses. Cleansed the palate."
"Okay, since that's still too gross to think about, we'll figure something out. You'll be home for dinner."
"Much appreciated. Thanks."
"You're welcome. Just, Virgil...?"
"Keep an eye on her. I know."
After hanging up with Danny, making sure the kitchen was clean and Calvin was fed, Virgil paced the living room, repeatedly checking his watch until..
"Where is she?", Maggie asked after letting herself in with the spare key. Making her way to the staircase.
"Upstairs still. Should I go get Farrah or is Danny-"
"He's on his way over there now. Thanks though, I have it from here."
"Wait, Maggie!", Virgil called but she was halfway to the landing already.
"She might be asleep or-"
"Thanks Virgil!", she yelled back as he shrugged, rolled his eyes.
"Well okay, guess I'm officially off duty. What you say, little man? Want to go out for some beers? I'm buying."
Looking down as Calvin mewed up, disapprovingly, Virgil bent down, gave him an ear rub goodbye before stepping out.
Meanwhile, peeking through the partially open door Maggie sighed, seeing Carrie curled up in the corner arm chair. She had her headphones on as she glumly examined her fingernails, mulled painting them later with Farrah.
"Carrie?", Maggie spoke softly, knocked before entering but still managed to startle Carrie who jumped, removed an earbud.
"What are you doing here?", she questioned. She'd assumed after the blow-up this morning her sister wouldn't want a thing to do with her.
"I just wanted to come by. See how you were."
"Who told you?", Carrie muttered.
"Danny."
"Of course he did."
Rolling her eyes she let out a snort, shifted in the chair.
"Carrie he's just concerned. So am I."
"Right. Concerned for Farrah."
"What?"
"What exactly were you two discussing last night? How I'm ignoring, neglecting, on the path to abandoning my own foster child?"
"Okay let's get something straight.", Maggie said forcefully.
"You are completely off-base in thinking that I think you're no better than Mom. I've never thought that, Carrie. You don't run, it's not you. You'd sooner bend something to your will than walk away from it."
Sitting up slightly, Carrie looked on in agreement,
"I was concerned for Farrah and for you because you were both so attached to Brody. I was afraid if something took a turn for the worse you both would wind up hurt."
"Well you weren't that far off. About that something anyway.", she scoffed.
Wiping her eyes as Maggie moved the ottoman she was perched on closer to the chair. Squeezed Carrie's hand.
"Still though. I never should've said what I said. I'm so sorry, Carrie."
"I accept your apology.", she said after a few moments. Getting a relieved smile in return.
"Look lets go over to my house. Danny can bring Farrah and we can bring that cat once we wrangle him."
"Calvin. His name is Calvin.", Carrie corrected.
"And I appreciate the offer but no. I'm not going."
"Carrie, c'mon.", Maggie sighed.
"You're saying you're just going to stay holed up here in the dark until Danny brings Farrah home?"
"I'll be downstairs and chipper by the time she gets here."
"Look, you've had a rough day. You shouldn't have to put on an act and make believe you're alright when Farrah's aroun-"
"It won't be an act!", Carrie snapped.
"It won't. I'll talk to Farrah and I'll explain what's happened and then we'll deal with it. Figure out what comes next."
"I understand! But why deal with it alone when you don't have to!"
"Because I don't want her thinking we run to Aunt Maggie's every time something goes wrong!"
Realizing that sounded a little harsh she sighed, bit her lip.
"Her and I need to be in our own house. Our own beds. It needs to be like before any of this ever happened."
"Before any of..."
"Before Brody showed up!", she snapped.
"Before he found me, brought me to his goddamn apartment, before the hospital, the fucking cabin."
After her voice broke she looked down and away, but Maggie reached over, squeezed her hand and prompted her to look up.
"I just want it to be like before."
"Before. Like before when you were staying up until three in the morning looking for new leads, a crack in the plan to set him up. When you were bent on tracking him down and righting all of this.", Maggie sighed.
"Until Farrah, Brody was all you thought about, Carrie. You'd jump every time his picture was shown on the news, panic every time a new rumor surfaced that he'd been found dead. The thought of him not surviving all this, you not being able to make things right for him. It had you scared out of your mind. Anyone could see how much you cared about him, how worried you were for him."
"What's your point?"
"That you still are.", she said solemnly.
"You're still worried about him. I can tell. And I can't expect you to feel completely differently about his situation in just a few hours. I'd be worried for you if you did!"
"I'm only worried, about Farrah. How she'll react to all of this once I tell her because of how much she cares about him."
Standing up Carrie ran a hand through her hair, then folded her arms over her chest.
"He blew it off, Maggie. Brody blew it all off. Any chance he had at a future, he ran away like a fucking coward. He made a fool out of me, again. And I fucking know he's capable of it. I should've expected it, seen it coming.", she said bitterly.
"It was right in front of my eyes, and I never saw it coming."
Sitting down defeated at the foot of the bed, she got another pitying glance from Maggie before hearing the door being unlatched, footsteps from downstairs.
"Shit."
Quickly ducking into the bathroom she blew her nose, washed her face before Maggie walked in, stood next to her as she stood in front of the mirror.
"Look, I'm more than happy to stay while you talk to her if you.."
"No, Maggie. Her and I have to work through this thing ourselves, okay?"
"Okay.", Maggie relented, but Carrie frowned seeing her smiling, wearily but proudly.
"What's with the look?"
"I'm just, really impressed at how you're handling all this, the way you are."
"Well what other way is there to handle it?", she shrugged. Looking painted as Maggie slipped an arm around her reassuringly.
"It will work out, sweetie. It'll be fine. I promise, it'll be fine."
...
"You're still going to stand there and tell me he's going to be fine?"
Dana snarled as Sonya sighed, shook her head.
"Dana..."
"He's been out of it for over two days, has barely opened his eyes. I'm tempted to just say screw it, bring him to the hospital and take our fucking chances."
"I told you already, every patient responds differently to-"
"Can you maybe not talk down to me like I'm some moron!"
"Can you not talk to me like I'm incompetent?", Sonya bit back.
"Like I haven't put my freedom on the line to help you! My brother and I have risked everything and you couldn't give a damn! If you're not the most ungrateful, selfish, self-absorbed..."
"Hey!", Brody growled. Still managing to sound forceful despite just having opened his eyes.
"Dad? You..."
"Oh my goodness..."
After Sonya rushed over with her stethoscope, checked his pulse, breathing, Brody looked up at her coolly. Waited until she was finished to clear his throat, speak up.
"Look, I may not know who you are, but please, don't speak to my daughter that way ever again."
Nodding, trying not to be intimidated at the calm but deadly serious look he was giving her, Sonya swallowed hard, stepped back.
"I'll give you some time before I run an exam."
"Thank you.", Brody said politely. But the ice in his eyes sent chills down Sonya's spine. After she stepped out though, the ice thawed into two orb shaped puddles.
"Dana."
Looking at her mystified, he realized she was on the verge of tears too.
"Hey..hey.."
On instinct Brody opened his arms for a hug, but was surprised as anything when Dana didn't even hesitate and ran straight to him. Held onto him like her life depended on it.
He flashed back to when she was five years old, got a sliver on the porch at a backyard barbeque.
Jess, Jess' mom, his mom all ran over to console her but Dana shook them all off, only trusting her dad to remove the sharp painful thing from the bottom of her foot and make everything better.
For some reason beyond his comprehension, she seemed to trust him now too. Brody knew he didn't deserve it, had done nothing to earn it, but he certainly wasn't going to question it.
"Shhh..", he soothed, stroking her hair as she continued to cry.
"It's okay, brat. It's gonna be okay."