Disclaimer: I own nothing but the general plot and OCs
Mwahaha. okay the kidnapping continues.
If you remember back in chapter 1 I had (dddds) brackets. thats the thoughts in the back of her brain getting loud enough for her to be strongly emotionally affected by them.
If you recall chapter 34 when Kakashi taught Sonaru about slowing her perception of time down through being hyper aware of every second passing, as well as boosting her senses in order to perceive her surroundings in great detail, allowing her to have time to think rationally and tactically while not outwardly doing anything other than maintaining control of her breathing.
If you can't remember, read the first half or so of that chap again to help. Ambush and Playing Ninja were supposed to help her practice the technique among other things.
[dddd] this is her tactical Hatake training kicking in. Hope you like the new addition
Also the ending might read a bit weird, but that's Sonaru getting triggered and dissociating like she did at the beginning of the story.
Those who reviewed the pre chapter - your reactions gave me happy feelings!
Thank you so much for awesome reviews, as well as favs and follows! Let me know what works, or what doesn't work for you, as well as any prompts for scenes you'd like to see.
Chapter 42 - You Don't Own Me
The woman stared at me with her warm eyes and kind smile, and I stared back- frozen in place as my heart beat burst to life like a rabbit thumping its hind foot in warning of a dangerous predator.
(Run. Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun-)
[Muscle tone in her legs and posture indicative of anticipation of flight and ability to prevent such action]
(The door is open. There's a gap. I'm small. I can make it. Run!)
[Current speeds reach high Genin when raiton jutsu active. Size of building interior unknown. Speed of enemy unknown. Risk too great to flee.]
The moment stretched onwards agonisingly as my brain raced, the fog from my thoughts had cleared jarringly fast- chased away by the adrenaline pumping through my system.
(Get me out of here. I don't want to be here. Oh fuck how did I get here. Where's Tou-san No help By myself I'm not ready for this. Runrunrun)
[Posture and expression suggest intent to manipulate through kindness. Enemy of unknown skill and temperament. No weapon on hand. Unknown enemy numbers in surrounding area. Do not take preemptive action]
I froze while my mind warred with itself, caught between staying and running in a mindless panic.
[Breathe. Do not give away any information not proven to be known by the enemy. Underestimation is your greatest asset currently]
My breaths were short quiet gasping little things, and as she stepped inside the room fully, allowing the door to begin closing behind her, I felt a sharp jerk of desperation in my stomach at the diminishing gap.
I didn't want to be trapped inside a room with this stranger who had kidnapped me. I didn't want my choices taken from me.
(Run!)
[Do Not Run. Rely on size and looks. Affect innocence. Play along, observe, gather intel, calculate. Wait for optimum conditions before applying uncooperative manoeuvres. Breathe]
I forced myself to take a single deep breath and watched, agonised, as the door sealed shut and my last chance at running was sealed alongside it. I knew doing nothing was the best choice I could make with what little understanding of my situation I had, but it felt really really fucking bad.
(I should have run. I'm so dead I'm going to die again What if Tou-san never finds out what happened)
Tears sprung to my eyes and I looked at the floor as the woman slowly approached me like a spooked animal, in order to hide the wetness in my eyes until I had myself under control.
[Cry to encourage sympathy]
Despite my shaky breaths, I kept my breathing under control and squashed any rising embarrassment at the vulnerable display in front of someone who already had me at a disadvantage. By the time I glanced back up at her, twin streams cut down my cheeks and I sniffled pitifully.
Her smile widened to something approaching comforting, and she crouched down.
"Hello, sweet thing, my name is Kuchisake Shion. Don't be scared, you're safe here," she soothed, "Hey, there's no need to cry."
With gentle fingers she reached out to cup my cheeks, and I locked my legs in order to prevent the urge to bite or escape from her hand from taking hold.
Her callused hand told me of a someone who utilised Shuriken and Kunai regularly, as she swiped my left cheek free of tears with her thumb.
"Where's Tou-san," I wobbled with a sniff, "where am I?" I looked up at her from under wet lashes and held the bottom of my nightdress tightly.
Her hand slid from my cheek to my shoulder and she dipped her head further until I could smell the scent of sweets on her breath as she lowered her voice.
"Your parents are okay, don't worry. Do you remember what happened before you got here?"
[Parents. Wrong child, or true identity remains unknown. Play along.]
I shook my head with a distressed expression, allowing another tear to trickle down my face.
"It's okay, they know where you are. They know you're safe. My superiors have already contacted them and they'll be here when they can, but your parents are very busy right now."
"Why?" I asked, tremulously.
Kuchisake pursed her lips as if trying to figure out how to tell someone something difficult, "you were kidnapped, Sona-chan - I can call you Sona-chan can't I? - and Konoha's shinobi couldn't come get you, so your parents hired us to protect you instead. We chased off the bad shinobi and we took you here to keep you safe.
"While your parents try to find out why you were taken in the first place, the safest place for you to be is here with me and my colleagues. I know it might be scary, and you want your parents to be here with you, but they promised me you're a very smart, grown-up and well-behaved little girl. Can you do as you're told while you're here and make them proud?"
[Despite superior physical strength and training she hopes not to use them against you. Cooperation and submission is optimum route for minimal physical suffering]
My throat closed in disgust at the blatant manipulation attempt and lies, and it took me a few seconds to swallow past the tightened muscles and unlock my voice.
"When will they come get me?" I whispered, tears still clinging to my lashes and threatening to spill over.
"I don't know, sweet thing. As soon as they can," she squeezed and rubbed my shoulder comfortingly, "and, hey, while you're here you can write letters to them so they don't miss you too badly. I'll make sure they receive them."
I didn't know if the offer was given in order to pacify me or to have me give them information I intended for my 'parents', it didn't really matter in the end because there was nothing I could write that would give them anything to use.
[Writing letters gives potential opportunity to sow misinformation and further solidify validity of false identity]
I took in the appearance of the woman in front of me, with her faint scars on either side of her mouth like the Joker, her grey eyes so pale they almost looked white and her silky shoulder length black hair. She looked to be in her early thirties and only slightly younger than Fukuda, though where Fukuda's face was cold in its refined elegance and high cheekbones, Kuchisake had a thinner softer looking face lending her a warmer appearance.
Alongside her curved brows and wide lips, her appearance and even physical demeanour radiated gentle intention and comfort.
Her unnervingly intense eyes and the scarring of her mouth which widened her smile just a touch too much, combined with the dog shit spewing from her lips, suggested otherwise.
Still, I hid my assessment and miserably nodded my head as she rubbed up and down my arm, "Who will teach me? My lessons are important- and who will feed me and help me wash my hands and-"
She pulled me forward into a hug, with my chin tucked over her shoulder - the smell of sugar even stronger up close, alongside a subtler fragrance of rainwater mixed in with a human's natural oils, some kind of sweet and sour food, and a hint of old blood - and wrapped her arms firmly but not constricting around me. She spoke quietly, her breath hitting my neck and the side of her lips tickling the side of my head.
"I'm taking care of you, Sona-chan, don't you worry. If you need anything you can tell me, and I'll look after you. Your parents told me a little about you, and I loved what I heard about you so much that I knew I had to be the one to take care of you."
[Actions indicate desire to form a maternal bond of dependency. Express similar desire for such a figure]
My stomach clenched in discomfort and my teeth locked together uncooperatively, my brain rebelled at the thought of taking any steps to actively encourage Kuchisake in taking on any kind of mothering role. This more than anything had me feeling dread so acute that it felt like nausea.
[Do it. Survival over comfort and pride]
"You're looking after me? Like a mother does?" I asked in a small voice.
I felt her lips stretch wider against my head and she breathed in triumph, "Yes. Like a mother. In fact, I wanted to spend time with you and take care of you so much that I made sure we'll be sharing a room together," she pulled back from her hug and held me at in front her, her frighteningly piercing eyes scanning me with a sick sort of possessiveness.
[Possibly 24/7 monitoring intended]
"They wanted to put you with other children a bit older than you, but those kids are being trained to fight and they can be rough. I know this room is little plain for now, but I've only had a few things from my old room moved in here so far. Soon this will be nice enough that it will feel like a bedroom suiting a little Hime like you. How does that sound? Good?"
I clamped furiously down on the urge to tell her never to fucking call me that again. Hearing the nickname Gai so affectionally used for me coming out of this liar's lips had me violently protesting inside, and for a briefly vivid moment I saw myself reaching and clawing out her eyes.
[Breathe]
But the moment passed and after a breath I made myself nod, glad that the moment didn't call for a smile because I was sure I wouldn't have been able to summon one.
"Excellent. I know you miss your parents, but you'll come to like it here, I'm sure of it. Now, dinner is being served in ten minutes so why don't we make our way there. You're supposed to eat with the children in a separate building but no one will mind if you stick with me," she winked conspiratorially, "some of the men can be a bit stupid, but I know a few of the women would be excited to meet someone as sweet as you so we'll sit with them today. Afterward I'll grab some of the spare uniforms for the children until I can get some clothes and other belongings of your own, we can come back here and you can have a nice bath and then bedtime. Okay?"
I looked down at the floor and nodded silently, playing up on the unsure shy sad child clinging to to the comfort of an adult.
The fact that there was a communal eating space for adults and children was interesting. An isolated place, then? Or a community of some sort, perhaps. I'd find out, and I just hoped that when I did the answer wasn't something horrifying.
Her fingers touched the underside of my chin and encouraged me to look at her, so I did, staring confused as her eyes roved my face in pleased contemplation, with a curiously wistful and melancholy set to her mouth.
"You remind me of my daughter," she finally said, deceptively light grief in her voice, "she was so sweet and well behaved as well. So smart. She would have been nine this year - she died when she was four... she was so cute like you... you really remind me of her."
By the end, her tone had taken an odd twist. Just slightly. But I heard it loud and clear and to me it sounded a little like madness.
Just fucking great. I got to pretend to be the daughter replacement for a mother mad with grief. Joy.
She huffed out a breath through her nose and seemed to return to herself a little. She pulled away from me and stood.
"Come on, let's go. We don't want to miss the tastiest dishes," she eyed my bare feet for a moment, "just this once I'll carry you since you don't have socks or shoes."
Then she bent down, and fluidly hoisted me up into her hold to settle above her hips with one arm supporting my butt. My arms went up to wrap around her neck automatically with my stomach squeezing so tight I didn't know how on earth I'd be able to stomach a single mouthful.
She turned to the door, opening the door without appearing to do anything to unlock it which had me questioning whether the door locked in the first place - it had to have done, right? To keep a kidnap victim in an unlocked room was idiocy.
The first thing I noticed about the hallway we entered was the clinically pale and bland design. The second thing was the smell; I detected a touch of wall paint, dust, cold metal flooring, a bit of fresh blood laying over a deeper scent of old blood mixing in with a side note of bleach and it was obvious to my nose that two people had had sex relatively recently nearby in the hall.
As Kuchisake walked in what soon became a labyrinth of hallways, I thanked all the deities I still didn't believe in that my memory prevented me from getting hopelessly lost. This place may have been designed to confuse and turn about anyone who wasn't intimately familiar with the place, but all I needed was a single glance at an exit and I'd know my way out.
I doubted that was going to happen today, and probably not tomorrow either or in any of the days just around the corner, but it had to happen at some point as long as I remained thought of as a young civilian kid. In the mean time I just had to keep Kuchisake sweet, or someone else of an equal or higher rank than her, to ensure my safety as best I could.
I heard the crowd of muted voices before I saw anything, but eventually we approached a set of double doors with glass windows in them - something that was missing in every other metal door we'd passed on our way - and I saw a crowd between one hundred and one hundred fifty people sitting around tables that wouldn't be out of place in a school cafeteria.
As soon as the doors opened the muted voices raised to a much louder chatter. The sound was relatively casual and upbeat in overall tone, but I knew better than to take that at face value in my judgement of the place overall.
Some of the tables had a mix of men and women on them, but just as many had only one gender, and I noticed that there was also a mix of people dressed like shinobi and those in far less combat suitable clothing.
I caught a large number of people quickly clock our entrance and although a lot of them scanned me curiously for less than two seconds before dismissing me and going back to what they were doing, I also felt an uncomfortable amount of appraising and keen eyes remain fixed on me and Kuchisake.
There was a touch of swagger to Kuchisake's steps that hadn't been there before we entered the room, and I realised with mild discomfort that she enjoyed the looks, although she didn't make any other outward sign of noticing the attention.
She made a beeline toward a table with only women, all non-combat dressed, and one by one they all looked up to watch her approach. There were five women, three of them cooed at my presence, one of them quirked a half smile and the other showed no interest whatsoever. They were all older than Kuchisake, and most of them were far less conventionally attractive.
"Hey everyone, this is Igarashi Sona, I'm looking after her while she's here. Say hello, Sona-chan," she bobbed me up and down a little to encourage me, and although I didn't know whether it was the correct course or not, I had noticed a level of possessiveness in Kuchisake's attitude toward me and chose to feed into that.
Feigning shyness I turned and hid my face in her shoulder, hearing the rise in volume from the women cooing and feeling the slight rise and fall of Kuchisake's chest as she laughed silently.
She rubbed up and down my back, "she's a little shy, since she's still missing her parents. I told her I'd take good care of her and we've just connected right away."
One of the women snorted disdainfully, and I guessed it was one of ones who was less interested from the start, "I don't see why you're making the effort, she's just like any of the others."
[Others likely referring to children. Statement implies lack of emotional care given. Presence of parents unlikely. Objective: discover purpose of children]
Kuchisake tensed around me and her voice was sharp, "she's different. I've got permission to keep her separate from the rest."
"Sure, she's different for now, but eventually she'll lose her shine and you'll be ordered to stop treating her like she's special."
"You're not a shinobi, Ike-san, you don't understand the complexities of the situation. Besides, I have a close relationship with Nagao-taichou and we have an understanding."
"An understanding. Is that what it's called, around here?" Ike's voice dripped with malicious scorn and in a second I felt Kuchisake's whole body shift underneath me, coiling threateningly.
"Be careful how you speak, Ike. I know you're convinced you're smarter than I am, but you're also more replaceable. If only because that understanding you sneer at me for."
I was liking this place less, the more I was exposed to it, and in an attempt to get the women to stop I made my presence known again by shifting and digging my face further into Kuchisake's neck, releasing an 'involuntary' whimper.
"Ike, you need to tone it down in front of the child," a smooth and mature voice interjected with authority, and the awkward pause afterward told me that this was someone who had Ike's respect at least.
Kuchisake stood, with me still held in her arms, and fetched a tray to be served food, before sitting back at the same table. But even with her brief absence the slightly tense silence continued. Kuchisake sat me in her lap and allowed me to eat the soup and bread first, and when minutes passed and nobody showed any interest in reigniting a conversation I began to relax just a little.
It was while Kuchisake was eating her own meal, having finished my own, that one of the women spoke up - unfortunately in my direction.
"How long have you been here then, Igarashi-chan?" A woman with short blue hair cut in an asymmetrical style asked me. She had a round face with a nose that jutted out prominently from it, and an entirely unemotional look in her eyes regardless of whatever tone her voice affected.
[Look at Kuchisake before answering to encourage the image of dependency]
I turned my head to glance questioningly at Kuchisake and she smiled encouragingly at me, however she answered before I got a chance to open my mouth, "she arrived this morning, but she woke up less than an hour ago."
I shivered internally at the concrete knowledge that a significant portion of time had passed since I was leaving Fukuda to go home in my last memory, before I awoke kidnapped.
"Oh I see, so very new. I'm sure you'll settle quickly, almost all the children moved here do."
[birth rates non existent? Decreased likelihood of stable family structures. Certainty of statement suggests personal familiarity with state of children. Inquire about purpose of establishment]
"What is this place?" I asked with all the innocent confusion and curiosity I could muster - which was a fair amount.
"It's a medical research facility," the blue-haired woman answered.
Kuchisake's muscles tensed.
"But... I thought the bigger kids were being taught to fight," I turned to Kuchisake with a bewildered expression, catching her quickly cut off the fierce glare she was giving the other woman.
"They are, sweet thing. It's a combined military and medical research facility," she smiled warmly at me, but the edges remained unhappy.
"Oh," I nodded, and then dropped my head back to her shoulder, feeling her slowly relax at the discontinued questions.
[Significantly increased chance of unethical human experimentation]
Fuck. Fuck.
[Breathe]
I made a show of being sleepy to avoid being required for conversation as I focussed on keeping my heart beat slow and my breathing steady to prevent giving away my distress. But my insides were curdling and bit my cheek harshly to prevent panic from creeping up on me, cutting myself and swallowing the warm metallic sweet and salty taste.
I needed to leave as soon as I could. Jesus fuck there were no words to describe how much the idea of being a human experiment terrified me.
[Rearrange priorities: 1. Rigid moral boundaries 2. Functional physical body and mental faculties 3. Return to Tou-san 4. Personal dignity and non-rigid moral boundaries]
Thankfully Kuchisake ate fairly quickly and wasted no time hanging around to make conversation with the other women. The three who had been making endeared noises ever since I arrived gave me waves and calls goodnight, despite me still not knowing any of their names.
[Note Kuchisake's lack of introduction for them. Suggests theory of possessiveness and desire for dependency may be achieved through isolation from familiar adult figures]
Their attitudes toward me, like I was the most adorable thing they'd ever seen, didn't sit well with me considering the fact that I doubted they didn't know what was intended for me.
[Sona deemed significant enough that the risk to kidnap from Konoha for medical research facility considered worth it. Unknown reason why]
Despite the churning of my insides and the food sitting restlessly, threatening to make a reappearance if I didn't concentrate, I still managed to pay attention to our direction as Kuchisake popped sweets into her mouth that she crunched, while she made her way to a storage cupboard where she found a few dark grey sweatpants, t shirts and socks a few sizes too big for me - the closest they had - as well as a clean metal bucket, some towels, a couple of tooth brushes, a tube of toothpaste and hair and body wash.
Once we traversed the labyrinth of hallways once more to arrive back at the room I had woken up in, I took careful note that once more she managed to open the door without unlocking it.
Immediately after dumping the clothes on the bed, Kuchisake entered the bathroom, where I remembered she'd mentioned a wash. The last thing I wanted at that point was her performing a mockery of my cwtch time with DFB, and I felt tension crawl up my spine and neck at anticipation of her beginning to run a bath.
She placed the metal bucket under the hot tap and began to run water, turning to me with a half smile, "I'm just going to wash you in the bucket tonight, since you seem pretty tired."
I wanted to insist that I could do it all myself, but in order to do so I'd have to use strength for refilling the bucket that Sona shouldn't have. Despite my fervent desires, I'd have to let Kuchisake wash me.
As she undid the button on the back of the nightdress, and helped me climb out of it, my skin crawled at having my vulnerable back exposed to her, at her nails and fingertips brushing slightly against an area that I usually had covered, and at being naked in front of her.
I stepped into the water-filled bucket as quickly as possible, I was shivering but I didn't think it was from cold. I looked at the floor, at the wall, at the water. Anywhere but the woman whose hands dwarfed the limbs that erupted in goosebumps the moment they were touched. Gentle callused hands, slick with soap, slid with too much entitlement.
Stand up. Sit down. Give me your arm. And the other arm. I obeyed and thought on it as little as possible. Close your eyes so the soap doesn't hurt. Fingers curling through my hair, spreading the unscented soap. Scratching my scalp like Tou-san. Shivering.
She was not my mother.
I didn't want a mother.
I closed my eyes as my hair was rinsed. I didn't open them afterward, as hands lifted me from the bucket and a towel wrapped around me. Swaddled almost like a baby.
I was not a child. She was not my mother.
Practiced hands used the towel to dry me. I was still shivering. My eyes were still closed.
So cute, you can barely stay awake. A sweet smelling voice murmured with undeserved proprietary affection.
Hands dressed me like a doll, and then I was laid on a cold mattress, a duvet layered over me.
Go to sleep, sweet thing. I'll have a shower and then I'll be back.
Lights turned off, the redness behind my eyelids went black. Pressing against them displayed a light show of rainbow starbursts.
Breathe.
The door opened. The smell of steam and clean human and sweets and a hint of soup. The duvet lifted, the mattress dipped.
Bare arms wrapped around me and pulled. The sheet slid under my skin until I lay in the middle. Lips against the back of my neck.
Goodnight, sweet thing. Sweet smelling breath curled around my neck.
I felt skin against my neck. Her breasts pressed against me. Giving way slightly to the body I wore as she breathed. No cloth barrier. Her body heat was too close. My eyes stayed shut.
If I shifted I might feel her bare nipple graze my neck. If I shifted I might discover she wore no bottoms by the rasp of hair against my nightdress. Arms kept me there. I froze so I didn't shift. I still shivered.
She was not my mother.
I did not want a mother.
My breath stuttered quietly. Tears gently pattered the mattress.
I wanted Tou-san.
I wanted home.
I made myself sad writing this. But then I made myself happy imagining some of you guys feeling sad too. Let me know if you felt sad!
So, I'd seriously love to hear your initial impression of Kuchisake Shion.
What's your theory on why Sona was targeted?
Also do you want me to skip back and forth a little between the team in Konoha and Sonaru, or do you want to have a few summary sort of chapters nearer to the end, like what Genma's already had in his two chapters.
It would follow Gai becoming Jōnin-Sensei. Kakashi dealing with everything you know he's got to deal with. Inevitably it would quickly spiral out of control and I'd feel obliged to give them a more complex plot while she's gone... yes? No?
Also I don't know if anyone picked up the subtle implication in this chapter, but the only priority that requires survival for Sonaru is number 3 (Because she's already died once and regained functional physical and mental state). Suggesting that if ever she discovers there's zero chance of finding Kakashi again...