AN: Not the usual portrayal of J/P, but I decided that we could all use a little snark right now.

ooo

Kathryn fumbled with her robe as she marched to the front door. Who the hell was banging and bumping out there at this hour?

This much she knew: The culprit was going to catch holy hell. The noise had interrupted a delicate moment.

She jerked the door open — her porch was a disaster: bags and boxes, a hockey stick, a football … In the middle of this chaos stood B'Elanna, holding a box. Kathryn's appearance must have startled her: She dropped it, and it landed with a "thunk" and the faint shattering of glass.

"B'Elanna, what the hell are you doing?" she snapped.

B'Elanna smirked. "If you're going to screw my husband, then you can have him and all his crap."

"What?" Kathryn hadn't had enough sleep, and certainly not enough coffee to process this.

"Please don't lie to me," B'Elanna said softly. "I know Tom's with you."

"Look, it's not what you think," Kathryn protested. B'Elanna was about to snap back when a deep male voice called, "Kathryn, who's out there?" and Drew appeared. His dark hair was mussed and he'd loosely belted his short robe, giving both women a peek at his chest hair and a pair of long, tanned, very male legs.

He looked at the mess on the porch, then back at Kathryn. "What the hell?"

"Admiral McKinnon!" B'Elanna gasped. Drew raised an eyebrow. "Lieutenant Commander, what is going on?"

He was interrupted by the appearance of Harry Kim, looking disheveled in a rumpled Hawaiian shirt and khaki pants. "What's going … Oh, hi, B'Elanna," he said.

B'Elanna's mouth dropped open. She looked at Harry, then Drew, then at Kathryn.

Drew and Kathryn shook their heads. Harry turned beet red. "No, no! Tom and I ran into the admirals at the restaurant, and they invited us here to play pool."

Kathryn had to smother a laugh. Poor Harry's voice was so high he was squeaking. "We had a few drinks and, uh, passed out in the rec room," he continued. "In fact ..." He ducked back into the house and yelled for Tom.

Tom appeared a few moments later, wearing an equally rumpled Hawaiian shirt and jeans. "God, Drew," he said as he ran a hand through his hair. "That Romulan MelShat must be part warp plasma." He looked up to see his wife, arms folded, looking very pissed.

"Hey, honey," he said as he stepped off the porch and promptly stepped on something. "What the hell?" he asked as he looked down. "That's my hockey stick and my holochip case! My clothes? What's my stuff doing here?"

"It's here, targ shit because I found out you were cheating while Miral and I were up at McKinley. Unfortunately, I was about to dump you on the wrong woman."

She looked at Kathryn. "Admiral, I am so sorry that I accused you. I got bad information."

"As for you, Peta'Q," she growled at Tom, "don't bother coming home. I've changed the access codes."

"B'Elanna! Whatever you heard isn't true! Let's talk about this," Tom pleaded as he followed her down the walk.

"Um, maybe I should clean this up," Harry began.

"Leave it, Harry," Kathryn ordered.

"Hope you have a couch," Drew added. "I think Tom's going to need one."

Harry, who knew a dismissal when he heard one, stammered his thanks and fled.

ooo

"So," Drew said as he handed her a cup of coffee. "B'Elanna thought you were carrying on with Tom?"

"Apparently so," she replied after taking the first sip.

He looked concerned. "Please tell me you don't live that dangerously."

She gave him a long, even look. Now admittedly, Tom had suggested it. And she had briefly considered it until loyalty and self-preservation kicked in. But Drew didn't need to know that. Besides, it was good for him to worry about competition.

"Andrew," she finally said, "I believe that our implicit agreement is that we don't talk about what we do or don't do with other people. And I might remind you that you're the one who wants to be a free agent."

Drew had the grace to look abashed. "All right, Kathryn, I hear you. Though I have been thinking it's time to change our arrangement."

"Oh? How's that?" she asked. Had his girlfriend on Jupiter Station been transferred?

"I'm told that a post is opening in Operations, and I have a good shot at it. It would bring me back here and give us a chance to make a go of things. Exclusively."

"Think we can do that?" she asked casually. As much as she enjoyed Drew, she wasn't sure he had it in him to be exclusive. But it might be fun to find out.

"I'd like to try. I've missed you."

"Well," she said as she wound her arms around his neck. "I'm willing to keep my part of the new bargain, but I expect you to do the same. I know where to get a bat'leth."

"I imagine you do," he murmured as he bent to nuzzle her neck.

ooo

A bit later, she heard Drew bumping around in the kitchen, probably making brunch. She took the opportunity to have a shower and mull a few private thoughts.

In one sense, Drew's timing was lousy; he showed up just as Tom was about to become a free agent. God knows, Tom certainly would be a lot of fun, even if he came with a few, oh, complications.

Then again, if B'Elanna was correct, he already had a distraction — meaning the complication factor was about to hit, oh, Warp 9.9. That she didn't need.

"So," she murmured as she dried her hair, "perhaps things have worked out for the best."