Hey everyone!
Do I have the content drop for you! Instead of updating my current stories, I have instead written this long piece giving my take on how Anakin and Padme made it from Dooku's hangar to the altar.
I think showing us how our favourite two decided to get married would have mad AOTC even better than it already was, and answered the questions I have had for years. How did they decide to marry? When was their first time? Was it both of their first times-ever?
Well, I attempt to answer some of these eternal questions in this little one-shot!
As always, I own none of the characters or settings.
And, as always, please review!
As he gained consciousness, Anakin had the overwhelming urge to itch. Something was tugging, yanking at his skin painfully, grating every nerve in his body against each other.
He tentatively opened an eye. The harsh glare of white light made him wince, closing his eyes again. A deep ache seemed to be slowly gaining momentum in his arm, a pain that got sharper and more raw with every passing second. He felt like the right side of his body was on fire. The pain was excruciating, spreading through the veins of his arm all up to his bicep. Subconsciously, he winced, clenching his new metal fist in anguish.
He sat up, shocked as he felt the sheets of the hospital bed, their scratchy cotton soft under his prosthetic fingers. He gazed at this new hand, this intricate cobweb of metal joints and wires extending from the raw red wound of his skin. He didn't know what to think. So he just stared.
'Ah Anakin!'
The voice of Obi Wan Kenobi shocked him out of his reverie.
'Good to see you awake, my young padawan.'
Anakin turned away, looking down to the hospital bed in which he seemed to be a resident.
'You've been out for some time' his Master sat down, perching uncomfortably on the side of the bed and tugging on one of the wires protruding out of a small red duct on Anakin's skin. Ah, so that must have been the cause of his earlier itch.
Obi Wan continued. 'In all truth I was rather worried about you. The droids informed us that the instillation of a new limb is a relatively simple process, unlikely to go too badly wrong, but nonetheless we were concerned. You've lost a lot of blood.'
Anakin was barely listening. One word, however, stuck in his mind.
'We? Who's we?'
Obi Wan shot him a pointed stare. 'Myself and The Council of course.'
'Oh. I thought you meant Padme.'
Anakin was too groggy to try and conceal his emotions. He looked back down at the bed, running the cheap sheets through the thumb and forefinger of his new metal appendage.
'Anakin, be mindful of your thoughts. You had a job to do, a job might I add that very almost ended in complete disaster. Had Yoda not brought an entire platoon of clones to save our skins, we very almost could have…'
'Master, could you save the lecture for once the swelling in my arm isn't quite so raw?' Anakin could feel a dark cloud rolling in over his vision as his Master continued wittering on about the responsibilities of knighthood.
She hadn't come. She wasn't here.
Anakin shut his eyes, trying not to let a wave of misery wash over him. The pain in his arm was nothing compared to the sudden ache in his chest. He felt tense, jumpy, paranoid. Thoughts that usually would have been quick to brush away lingered, caught in the fog of pain and clouding his brain. He didn't know what to think. He was so tired and his mind was racing. So what? She hadn't meant it in the Arena? She had changed her mind? Or worse- she was lying all the time. Maybe she just wanted to make him feel better before they both met their grisly ends.
No. He couldn't believe it. His head was spinning. He had felt it! In The Force! He had sensed the aching pain in her heart, the treacherous rush of euphoria setting her alight when they kissed.
He suddenly felt sick, his wild thought-train running rampant. Maybe rationality had kicked in the moment she landed back on Coruscant and everything suddenly seemed real. That whatever they had was easier to write off when looking head-on to a life of skulking around, risking her hard-won reputation and actively defying the Code.
'Anakin? Are you listening to me?' His Masters voice snapped him out of his despair. He turned his head, wishing he could swat Obi Wan away like a pesky fly.
He sank back against his pillows when there was a sharp knock on the door.
'Master Kenobi? How are you?' Anakin's heart jolted as a musical voice floated through the doorway. 'Is he still asleep? Is everything alright?'
'Senator' Obi Wan bowed, raising an eyebrow slightly. 'No, he has actually just woken up.' He gestured for her to come and see for herself as if Anakin was some baby lamb about to take its first step.
Padme appeared from behind the door, eyes wide with concern. Anakin gulped. She looked breathtakingly beautiful, her hair swept up in a deep red band, loose curls tumbling onto her shoulder. He noticed that her face was marred with worry.
Anakin gulped, his head spinning, fighting against the urge to kiss away every mark of pain, to make it all OK.
'Ani!' she ran to his side, grabbing his flesh arm and sinking to the floor. She was shaking.
'Padme, you're here' he whispered it almost like a prayer, reaching to tilt her chin up to meet his gaze before realising he would have to use his metal hand. He sank the new appendage back to the bed, looking away.
'Ahem. Well. Senator, I suppose you'll be needing transport' Obi Wan cut through the scene. 'Shall I wait and escort you back to your residence?'
'No thank you Master Kenobi' Padme said curtly (or as curtly as she could manage) 'I have my official transport waiting in the lobby. And besides, I just got here. This is the first time you've actually been awake when I visit Ani. I want to stay.'
'Very well' Obi Wan sighed, evidently lacking the energy required to put up a fight as he left the ward.
'Padme' Anakin whispered her name, a huge smile plastering his face as he shimmied his flesh hand out of hers to stroke her cheek. All of the worry that had consumed him not three minutes prior seemed to have dissipated at one flash of her beautiful smile. 'I can't believe you're here.'
'You thought I wouldn't visit?! I've been to see you every day, Ani' Padme smiled, stroking his forearm. 'I'm so relieved you're awake. The droids were worried that your body might reject the arm, that it might go sceptic, that it-'
'Padme, don't worry' Ani laughed. 'I'm fine.' He quickly waved his new arm at her to prove it. It shot a singe of pain through his body, causing him to wince.
'Ani! Are you OK?' Padme's eyes filled with panic. 'Are you in pain? Shall I get you some morphine?'
Anakin laughed through gritted teeth, not allowing the tug of metal on his exposed skin to ruin this moment. 'No, I'm alright. I'm just so happy to see you. Is your back OK?'
She smiled, her face glowing. 'It's healed good as new Ani. A few strips of bacta and it cleared right up. I'll have to crack out a backless gown to celebrate when they are fully healed.'
Anakin gulped. He was in too frail a state to be able to cope with that image.
'Ani, I actually wanted to talk to you' Padme said, looking down and gulping, his flesh hand still held tightly in his.
Anakin felt a chill run through his body, his words turning to ash in his mouth. All he could muster was a 'Ye-yeh?'
'Look Ani' Padme's faced winced, distorted by the words that had not yet left her mouth. Anakin felt sick. 'In the arena… I know that we said some things…'
Anakin's mouth dropped open. 'What? So you didn't mean what you said?' He could feel a overpowering pain in his chest, his palms sweaty, his stomach ill.
'What!' Padme looked up, shocked, as her eyes filled with tears. 'Of course I meant it Ani! How could you think I would every say that and not mean-'
'Woah, woah!' Anakin steadied her shoulder with his flesh hand, composing her as she sat there, breathing rapidly and shaking. His metal hand stayed in place by his side. 'I was just checking that you hadn't… you know… panicked! And said something you now regretted-'
'You think I came here to let you down easy!' she was outraged. 'I came here to-' she lowered here voice, '-check that you remembered what had been said! You know you lost a lot of blood Ani.'
Her big brown eyes shone with pure emotion. Anakin wanted to whisk her into his arms and kiss her until she forgot her name.
'Of course I remember Padme' he whispered, smiling so widely that he thought he might burst. He sure hoped Obi Wan had left, because the rollercoaster of emotions he had gone on would be incriminating enough for any man to experience, let alone a Force-sensitive one.
'Although' he smirked, 'while I remember the sentiment, you might have to jog my memory of the exact words…'
Padme smiled, mouth widening. 'Oh I bet you would love that wouldn't you Ani!' she laughed, taking his hand in hers and stroking her fingers lightly over his. 'You would love me to tell you how truly-' she took his palm, planting a soft kiss in the center, 'deeply-' she lightly trailed her lips across his index finger as he gulped, sitting up, '-in love with you I am.'
She smiled wickedly, leaning up to meet him. Slowly, nervously, Anakin tilted his head to meet hers, his lips ghosting over her mouth as she trembled. Finally, their lips met in a gentle kiss. He felt all the blood rush to his head. He was barely strong enough to handle this at the best of times, let alone in his fragile condition. Her velvet lips moved against his, slowly at first, and then she opened her mouth slightly, inviting him to deepen the kiss. He did. Their tongues stroked together, melting into each other. Anakin wound one hand into her silky hair, stroking her cheek as their breath became heavier. They panted into each other as Padme broke the kiss, reaching over to guide his metal arm around his waist.
Anakin drew her closer, their lips joining again in a scorching kiss. This was nothing like the chaste encounter on the balcony of Naboo, where she had pulled away before they had even started. No, this time she was moaning under his touch, threading her fingers through his hair as they continued to taste each other.
Suddenly the door swung open. They sprang apart.
'Patient 12-01-64-88. Morphine rations administration' a shiny metal medical droid bustled into the room as Padme jumped to her feet, straightening out her gown. Anakin gulped to notice the deep blush on her cheeks.
'Well Master Skywalker, I should be getting off- I mean leaving!' her eyes widened as he suppressed a laugh. 'I am glad to hear of your progress and wish you a speedy recovery.'
As the droid began prodding his arm, Padme smirked, mouthing 'Call Me' as she disappeared out of the door.
Anakin's heart rate was charted at record highs that day.
500 Republica
Padme leaned over her balcony, gazing at the bustle of the city and letting her hand trail in the air, sighing wistfully. Oh how she wished to dance, to scream, to grab the shoulder of every little driver of the vehicles dotting about her periphery and yell that she was in love! Yes! That's right! She, Senator Amidala, the stable mind of Naboo, was completely, utterly, mind-spinningly in love! She wanted to spin around and shriek with elation. She made a private wish deep in her heart that every being in the Galaxy someday would get to feel as amazing as she did right now.
God, what was she like! She giggled to herself, amused at her own melodrama. Well, she may be silly but she didn't give a damn! She was risking everything to follow her heart- she might as well enjoy it.
She reassumed her position, leaning her head on her hand and gazing out into the sea of the city. Oh how she wished Ani was here right now, and not tied to a maze of wires in a hospital bed. There was so much she wanted them to do together. He had been through so much- losing his mother, losing his arm in the space of a week with no time to even process it, let alone recover.
She just wanted to kiss all his pain away. To wash away the pit of torture behind those deep blue eyes. For him to be happy.
She sighed again. If she had known a month ago that she would be standing here, her entire heart and soul engulfed with her first proper love, she never would have believed it. And if she had been told that this love would be an illicit, forbidden affair with a Jedi Knight? With little Ani, that sweet boy from all those years ago, who's face she had all but forgotten? She wanted to laugh! It was all so crazy!
Yes, there was so much she wanted them to do. When would he be let out of that prison of a hospital! The thought of him lying there in pain, struggling alone, made her entire body ache with misery. She had had no idea how very physical the sensations of love were! How the elation, such a new feeling, completely overwhelmed her, making her tingle from head to toe and want to yell with joy. And how the pain, the worry, the misery of seeing Ani hurt shook her to her very core, making her ache, making her sick, consuming her every thought. All her years of rigorously training her mind were washed away by love! She felt completely vulnerable, her carefully constructed control snatched away for the first ever time.
Where was he? Why wasn't he here? She couldn't believe how overwhelming it had been to be able to touch him, free of guilt, in the hospital. If kissing him had felt like that, she didn't even want to imagine how it would be when they actually…
She gulped. Those kinds of thoughts would not help with this sudden impatience.
She wondered if this would be Ani's first time. She had no idea how the sexual semantics of being a Jedi worked. Maybe sex was forbidden as much as love was? Surely not! They couldn't expect celibacy from an entire order of people, could they? Maybe it was something more regimented, a formal rite of passage? Or maybe Jedi were as governed by the laws of attraction as anyone else was?
She knew Ani had loved her the moment he met her. He had told her many times, and she could see the sincerity of his words radiating out of his deep eyes. But did that mean he had never slept with anyone else? She could see either scenario as a possibility. He had such faith in their love, and had since the moment they were reunited- that was clear. His intensity, his certainty had made her uncomfortable at first. But now? His openness was just one of the many things she found so wonderfully refreshing after years in the shallow world of politics. Maybe he had been holding out for her?
But on the other hand, he was so very gorgeous that she didn't know how he would have made it this far in life without attracting at least some attention. And honestly, she wouldn't blame him if he had slept with other women! They hadn't seen each other in ten years! She herself had had other partners (none who had even compared to the feelings stirred up by Ani in that hospital bed, mind.) It would have no bearing on his love for her. But still, she was curious. There was so much they didn't know about each other. So much to discover.
He needed to get out of that linoleum prison and come and talk to her! Padme knew she was being childish, but for once she didn't care. God, had love made her selfish? Where was the patient, composed Padme of years gone by?
'Senator, someone here to see you.'
She spun around to see Dorme watching her from the doorway. Oh God, please don't let her have seen the operatic sighing performance she had been putting on for the last five minutes! The laugh threatening to crack her handmaiden's placid exterior indicated that she just might have!
'Thank you Dorme' she spoke, feeling a blush creep across her face. Oh well- she didn't have time to be embarrassed now! A guest was here! She could feel her heart thumping in her chest, and the new sensation of elation mixed with nausea, a feeling that she had grown accustom to in the last few weeks, shaking her stomach. It better be him.
Seeing the figure lingering nervously by the entrance caused her to smile so widely that she thought her face would crack. Shuffling on the spot, half his face lit up golden under the evening sun, was Anakin.
'Ani' she said, smiling even more widely as his name on her lips.
He smiled, his beautiful face lighting up in a way she hadn't seen since that day in the meadow.
How could she resist? She stood up, running to him as he swept her into his strong arms. They hugged, and she pulled back to look into his eyes as he rested his flesh hand on her waist. His metal hand stayed by his side.
'I've missed you Padme' he whispered huskily, his flesh hand stroking her cheek gently as he smiled. 'I don't know how much longer I could have lasted in that God forsaken hospital without you.'
'I know Ani! I was almost convinced they wanted to keep you there!' she couldn't stop grinning as his thumb stroked her cheek. Her heart was thundering in her chest- she really should calm down, or he would notice how overly excited she was
'Yeah well it probably boosted their rep having a war hero in their ward' he joked, 'now I'm gone they will be back to dealing with hypochondriacs and traffic collisions.'
'Now you're back on the road, they will have double the recorded traffic collisions anyway I'm sure' she laughed, watching in awe as joy lit up his gorgeous face.
He slowly leaned in, brushing her lips softly with his. She could still feel the smile on her lips as she wound her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. They kissed slowly, exploring each other. Their bodies were pressed together, and Padme could feel her breath catch in her throat as his lips moved against hers.
Anakin broke the kiss, his breath slightly ragged as he looked down into her eyes. The weight of finally being alone together washed over them, leaving them reeling with the sheer vast emotion of it all.
'I can't believe I'm here, with you' Anakin whispered, smiling down at her.
'I can't either!' Padme laughed, pulling back in his arms, 'what a difference since last time we were here huh?'
'What, when you told me I was just a little boy to you?' Anakin smirked, then chuckled.
'Well Ani what was I supposed to say!' she said in mock-outrage, 'usually my security team don't hit on me within two seconds of introduction.'
He looked down, a blush dancing across his cheeks as his mouth curled into a grin.
She decided to be bold, stroking her palm over his cheek so he met her gaze. 'Nor do they tend to be so cute. I was used to Captain Panaka- you know, a slightly older, more repressed demographic.'
A laugh lit up Anakin's face as they slowly kissed again, tongues stroking each other as he wrapped her in his arms.
Padme sighed, a bit disappointed when he broke the kiss again. She had just begun to feel the stirrings of a delicious ache in the pit of her stomach.
Anakin's beautiful smirk also caused her heart to tighten. 'You thought I was cute?' he said through a laugh.
'Well honestly Ani I was taken aback!' she said, 'what would you do in my position?'
'Probably say something awkward and freak you out' he said, laughing.
'Well you didn't do a very good job of freaking me out did you' she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and melting into another scorching kiss.
He pulled back, smiling down at her as she trembled slightly. 'I have some news for you Padme. Obi Wan came to inform you that, despite his advice to send literally anyone else, The Council have decided it's best for me to complete my mission and escort you back to Naboo.'
'Oh Ani that's wonderful!' she could feel herself glowing, 'why did Obi Wan want you to stay here? Do you think he knows about us?'
'I think he knows about my feelings for you' Anakin said, brushing a curl of hair out of her face, 'but I don't think he's too worried about them being reciprocated somehow. He just gave me the usual speech about being 'Mindful of the Mission' and 'Controlling my Emotions' and sent on my way.'
Padme laughed nervously, 'you know he just wants the best for you Ani.'
'I know that my love' he said, stroking her cheek, 'he just doesn't realise that this is what's best for me.'
He smirked, 'Or maybe he just can't sense it. I do have a far deeper and richer connection to The Force than him, after all.'
What could Padme do but smile? She knew what she was getting herself into falling for a Jedi. She was just going to have to get used to spells of guilt, she supposed.
'But Angel, you haven't heard the best part' his face lit up in another gorgeous smile, 'The Council seemed to actually notice I was a bit… off, I don't know, and guess what. They gave me some respite to adjust to all this' he gestured to his new arm, still hanging limply by his side. 'One full week. As of today.'
Padme raised a hand to her mouth to cover her huge smile. God, it was difficult to seem nonchalant in love, as she was just discovering. 'Ani! This is – this is amazing! Are you going to spend it in Naboo? With me?'
She twisted her fingers through his, wanting to dance. A week! 7 whole days!
'Nah, I thought I would head to Cloud City to do some gamboling' he rolled his eyes playfully at her, 'Of course I'm spending every waking minute of it with you' his smile lit her up inside as he pulled her into a gentle kiss. Breaking away just as she began to melt into him, he spoke. 'You know, sometimes I can't help but think The Council actually want something to happen between us. First, they send me off alone to a romantic paradise with the most the most beautiful Angel in the Galaxy, now they give me permission for us to be together, uninterrupted, for a week.'
'That may be a bit too far Ani' she laughed, stroking the back of his neck, ' but I do sometimes wonder about that. They prohibit attachment and yet design a mission with intimate setting, ample quality time and the most gorgeous Jedi protector.'
She felt Anakin's eyes dilate and his breath hitch in his throat as she ran her hands over his chest.
'So how do you intend to spend this free time, Master Jedi' she whispered, a smile dancing on her lips as he groaned quietly in reaction.
He responded by kissing her deeply, slowly, their lips brushing each other as his tongue gently stroked hers. Padme laced her hands into his hair, deepening the kiss. This felt so good. She could feel his strong arms pulling her so close, their bodies touching as his lips continued to melt away all her rational thoughts. She could feel her breath shortening, panting into him as he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers.
'Padme' he whispered, his breath ragged.
'Ani, do you want to…' she couldn't help it. She wanted him so badly.
He gulped, looking down and chewing on his lip, swollen from their hot kisses.
'I mean, only if you want to Ani' she giggled, stroking his beautiful cheek so he met her gaze.
'I do- I want to so much' he said softly, 'so fucking much Padme, you have no idea.'
Her stomach dropped looking into those burning blue eyes.
'I just am not sure if now- if right now is the best time' he sighed, 'I might just need a bit of mental preparation, you know?'
'Of course Ani! You don't need to feel any pressure!' she laughed, 'this is just about us being together, not some sort of test-'
'I know, I know Pad' he smiled, 'I just- you know…'
'Ani. You have had the most rollercoaster of a week. Please don't feel bad for wanting some time to decompress' she smiled, pushing the ache in her stomach down. 'Plus, you've only been released from hospital for an hour! One thing at a time, huh? Let's wait.'
'Pad, you know when I say not now, I mean like not this very second, right?' he said, a look of panic crossing his face, 'Not like not ever! I mean waiting till we get to Naboo, not-'
'Ani! That's cool! Don't worry my love' she beamed up at him, so desperately in love she was. As they walked to her room to pack, Padme mused back on all the nights she spent tearing into her nerves, trying with all her might to fight against her obvious desire for him, and then worse, the nights struck with the realisation that this wasn't some crush- it was love. How she had wept! How hopeless, how horrible it all felt! What was 12 hours wait compared to that?
Naboo
Padme felt something shaking her out of her sleep. She stirred, opening her blurry eyes and remembering where she was.
'We're here.'
Anakin hovered over her, his blue eyes twinkling in the reflection from the wing mirrors.
She stretched out in the copilot seat, untucking her legs from their curled-up position.
'Did I sleep the entire journey?' she laughed, giggling, 'You must have had the most boring flight ever Ani!'
'Boring!? I got to stare at your beautiful face for two hours uninterrupted Angel' he smirked 'plus I got some good old peace and quiet? Sounds a perfect journey to me!'
She opened her mouth in mock outrage, smacking his arm as he collapsed in giggles.
'You rude man!' she laughed, 'Good job I have 5 whole days to talk at you non-stop! I hope you're ready to hear a run through of how a bill is turned into a motion. And for every whine, I'll explain the Senate regulation clauses. In detail.'
'Looks like I'll have to find some way to distract you' he said, smirk curling the corners of his mouth as he gently kissed her. 'Or I could just match your regulation clauses with passages from The Code? Make this the driest weekend known to man?'
'Ani I know you. I know how little you pay attention to The Code' She laughed.
It was his turn to be shocked. 'How dare you! I'll have you know I follow every passage thoroughly' he said, twirling a strand of her hair in his flesh hand. 'Well, almost all. And if you aren't careful, maybe I will use this weekend to remedy all previous lapses.'
'I'll believe that when I see it Ani' she smiled, 'plus, it's really too soon to be joking about this, isn't it?'
She turned to collect her luggage.
'Wait love, I'll carry that' he shot her a grin, and a wink.
'Nice Ani. Getting in my good books already' she giggled. God he was gorgeous.
They crossed the terrace at Varykino, the moonlight washing the pillars in iridescent rays, the entire scene cast in a silver hue as if it was in a dream.
'Ani look' Padme touched his arm, 'it's where we had our first kiss.'
He smiled at her, placing her bags on the marble and pulling her into his arms. 'The best moment of my life followed by the worst' he laughed, his hand on the small of her back. 'Well, maybe the second worst.'
'The worst?! How could you Ani?' she laughed, tracing her fingers over his chest lightly and watching him gulp.
'Well, you did kind of reject me Pad' he laughed, a blush tainting his cheeks as she continued to touch him.
'Well one of us had to think logically Ani' she smiled, gazing up at him. 'We couldn't both just throw caution to the wind the minute we were alone together.'
'Why not?' he whispered huskily, his voice making her tremble in his arms. They were so close now, his lips almost brushing hers.
And then they did. His full lips coaxed hers open, their tongues stroking each other gently. Anakin pulled her closer, her arms winding around his neck until their bodies were flush together. Her breath was getting heavy as they deepened the kiss, melting into each other. Anakin gently moved her backwards until she was pressed against a pillar and he was running his hands down her sides, pulling her ever closer. She broke the kiss, panting into him and leaning their foreheads together.
His lips were swollen, his breath ragged. He leaned in again, pulling her into another scorching kiss as she wound her fingers into his hair. Everything was blurry. Her brain felt like it was melting away, her entire body governed by the sensations of his hands, his lips on hers, the sparks shooting all over her every time he touched her. And the ache deep in the pit of her stomach was growing, overcoming her. He broke the kiss, moving his lips across her cheek, her earlobe, until he was sucking on the pulse in her neck. She could hear a moan escape from her lips in between ragged breaths.
'Ani' she moaning his name and felt the hard muscles of his body, pressed flush against her, tremble in response.
'I love you so much' he whispered, taking her face in his hands.
His metal hand hovered close, not touching her.
'Ani' she stroked her hand down his right bicep, trying not to get distracted by the hard muscle, and brought her touch down until she threaded her fingers through the outside of his metal hand, bringing it to touch her skin. 'Ani, are you worried about your hand?' she whispered, gazing at his dilated blue eyes, clouded with lust.
He gulped, looking down.
'Sorry to break the mood my love' she said, giggling.
He laughed too, pulling her close to him and letting his metal hand rest on her waist.
'I-um' he struggled with his words. 'I just- well Padme. It's you. I want it to be perfect- everything to be perfect. You deserve more than… than-'
'Than what Ani?' she said, forcing him to look at her. 'I love every part of you. Please hear me. You lost your hand fighting for the freedom of the Galaxy against everything that is evil. You are so strong, so so brave-'
'Padme, I failed' he looked at her, his eyes hardening. 'Again. I wasn't g-good enough, I didn't wait, and now-'
'Ani stop! Please!' Padme felt her eyes brimming with tears. 'Please! It breaks my heart to hear you speaking like that! You can't be so harsh on yourself, especially when you are the most able young Jedi in the Order! You took on a Sith Lord! And you survived to tell the tale. Now, please, don't think like that.'
She stroked her hand over his cheek as he looked down.
'You take on the weight of the world, Ani' she said softly, 'please, don't carry everything alone. Let me help you. Let me share the burden. I love every part of you. Your hand is something to be proud of, not something to add to your struggles.'
She threaded her fingers through his, raising the metal appendage to her lips and gently kissing each finger.
Anakin gasped slightly.
'What Ani? Have I hurt you?'
'No! It's just- I can feel it! I can feel you through the hand' he looked awed. 'Holy shit!'
'So the sensors are working?' Padme grinned, a wicked thought crossing her mind.
'Looks like it' he smiled down at her, kissing her forehead. 'You're so amazing by the way. So kind, so lovely, so beautiful.'
'I mean every word I say Ani' she said, gazing up at him, overwhelmed by the sheer vulnerability she felt under his gaze. She felt like every part of her was suddenly exposed. And he saw it. And accepted it. Accepted her.
Suddenly she wanted to cry. This was all so… so… so much! It was like her whole world view had been shifted, lit up in technicolor, the old world completely erased for this new realm where every colour was brighter, every sound more musical, every emotion amplified by 1000. I guess that was love.
She pulled back, laughing to herself.
'Shall we go upstairs Ani?' she smiled.
'Of course my love' he grinned back, turning to grab her bags. 'I'll just drop my stuff off and then be right up.'
Padme laughed, shocked when Anakin actually picked up his rucksack and headed towards the downstairs bedroom he had used the last time they were here.
'Where are you going Ani?' she called after him, giggling to herself as he turned back.
'I'm going to my room! Just quickly though Angel, I'll be back in no time' he winked, biting his lip playfully.
'Ani? You don't want to share a room with me?'
He turned back around, his eyes wide. 'Uh- I-'
She shot him a questioning look.
'I mean- can I?' he said, running his hand through the back of his hair nervously. 'Shit Padme, that sounded so lame, I'm sorry!'
She giggled. 'I don't know whose permission you need Ani, but I encourage you to bring that bag upstairs.'
He bit his lip, smirking and looking down. 'Well I feel like an idiot now Pad' he laughed.
'Well Ani only if you want to that is!' she suddenly panicked, 'I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you, or expecting any-'
'Padme.' He stopped her. He was smiling the sexiest smile, half smirk and half laugh, his eyes radiating a warmth that made the pit of her stomach ache.
He spoke. 'Of course I want to.'
He came over and wrapped her waist in his free hand, kissing her forehead. 'You silly idiot, how could I not want to' he laughed, gently nudging her with his shoulder.
'Well Ani I'm not the one camping out downstairs!' she laughed, leading him up the staircase.
.
Padme's heart was thundering in her chest. She didn't know what to do with herself, pacing up and down the room while Anakin retrieved the last of her bags from downstairs. (What? Yes, 3 suitcases may have been excessive for a week-long trip to the Lake Country, but she wanted to look her best!) She could feel her stomach churning with nerves, clashing with the dull ache that hadn't quite dissipated from earlier.
She took a breath. She needed to relax. She wanted this. She knew she wanted this. Hell- she had known she wanted this since the last time she was in this bedroom, pacing in anguished circles, her mind racing about having to turn away the man she was pretty sure she was falling in love with. How she had curled in a ball, hot tears escaping from her eyes as she battled with her conscience after their talk at the fireplace. How much she had ached to run downstairs and melt into his arms. The pain tearing at her that it was impossible.
And now here she was. About to take the plunge. To take a step from which there was no return. She knew that the moment she had sex with Anakin, there would be no turning back. She could feel it. She could barely tear herself from him as it was. But after she had shared that part of herself, they had been together in every possible way? That would be it.
She breathed. She wanted this. She had never wanted anything else as much as she wanted this. This entire journey, falling in love and seeing the world new, had thrown everything she knew up in the air. How could she tackle the rigid laws of morality when faced with the ambiguity of what she should do versus what every fibre of her being, body mind and soul, was dragging her towards? Thinking with a clear head, basing her decision purely on rationality, she wouldn't be here, pacing and chewing on her lip. But being human? Taking her heart into account? Not being here, turning Ani away would destroy her. Was Senator Amidala, bastion of sanity and fairness, about to argue against rational thinking? Stop the press!
'Hey you.'
She whipped around to see Ani, lingering in the corner and fiddling with his sleeve nervously.
Her face lit up in a smile.
'Hey you.'
He took a step forward. So did she. They both collapsed in nervous laughter.
'Jesus Pad, I'm sorry!' he said, running his hand through the back of his hair and making her stomach drop. The moon cast his golden tan in shimmering light, his blue eyes burning like liquid fire. He looked like some sort of God.
She laughed. 'Ani it's fine. I'm nervous too.'
He took another step forward. She did too.
'Padme, could you please not step at the exact same time as me like we are pieces on a chessboard!' he laughed, sending her into a spiral of giggles too.
'Fuck it-' he took three paces, standing in front of her and placing his hands on her waist.
She looked up at him, biting her lip and grinning as laughs continued to shake her body.
'Hey Ani' she smiled up at him.
'Hi' he laughed at her stance, the rigidity of her hands on his shoulders.
'Could you relax please!' he said, half joking, clearly trembling with nerves himself.
'Ani, come here' she tried to suppress her laughter as he looked away. She gently tilted his face up to meet her, gently brushing their lips together in a soft kiss. He pulled her close, holding her face in his flesh hand as they deepened the kiss. They were breathless now, panting as their kisses became more frantic, more passionate. Padme pulled him closer, losing herself in the feeling of his tongue stroking hers as the ache in her stomach grew unbearable.
Anakin suddenly pulled back. His breath was ragged as he leant his forehead against hers. 'Padme...' his words came out between heavy breaths, his chest rising and falling as he pulled her close. 'Ha-have you ever…' his words trailed off as he bit his lip.
'Yes.' She looked up at him, still breathless. His eyes widened, then he looked away at the floor.
'Ani, listen' he wouldn't meet her gaze, running his hand through his hair. 'Look. It was many years ago when I last… you know. And I have only been with a few men-'
'A few?' he cut her off, eyes wide with shock.
'Well yeah Ani! I was young! I was single-' She stopped herself. Maybe best not to go down that route too far. 'But Anakin- look at me!'
He turned his gaze back on her, his deep blue eyes pulsing and his jaw clenched.
'I have never, not once in my life, felt anything like I do for you. I have never been in love till now' she said, meaning every word. 'Those other men- not that I need to apologise!- but they meant nothing to me. Nothing.'
'Of course you don't need to apologise Padme' he shot her a look. 'I just- I just… I don't know. I just hate the idea of you, with-'
'Ani, don't think about it!' she stroked his beautiful face, 'it was so long ago, it's irrelevant now! I just wanted to be honest with you, that's all.'
'I know my love' he said, chewing on his lip. 'I don't- I'm not angry, I just…' he let out a deep sigh, looking down.
After a moment, he spoke again. 'I just thought you should know I haven't- well not properly- ever done it.'
She couldn't help but smile. She didn't want to make him feel self-conscious, but she felt a rush of pride that she would be his first. God, she felt awful that she got this wonderful absolution after she had made him hear about the few.
'That's wonderful Ani' she smiled sincerely.
'Are you serious Pad?' he looked at her in shock, 'How am I supposed to compare to- to-you know… without having ever done it before!'
'Ani please! Stop!' she laughed, taking his hands. 'This isn't some skills display to prove your worth! This is just us being together, sharing ourselves with each other, doing something we have wanted to do for- well I don't know about you, but this has been pretty much on my mind since we reunited.'
His eyes grew dark, his pupils widening. 'Padme, you don't know what you do to me, I swear.'
'Maybe I do' she looked up at him, parting her lips slightly, 'maybe I'm secretly evil and just want to torture you.'
'No way. Not a chance' he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her into another scorching kiss. He held her, trembling in his arms, running his hand lightly down her spine as they kissed. His velvet lips, his tongue stroking hers, she could barely breath.
Just as she was about to let out a moan, his hand grazing over her ass and setting off an explosion of sparks under her skin, he pulled away again.
'So just to check Padme, you don't mind that I'm- that I've never-' he bit his lip nervously. How could one man be so sexy yet so adorable! She wanted to scream with joy.
'Ani, I don't care at all!' she laughed, 'I can't believe I get to be your first time! How many girls would kill to be me right now.'
He shook his head, smirking. 'You're the only one I've ever wanted, my love. I'm serious.'
He gazed deeply at her. She felt the same rush as earlier, the overwhelming feeling of the earth shifting as he looked in her eyes. This was it. This was what everyone told you it was like when you found the one. You'll know it when you feel it, trust me Padme. Well now she did.
It was time. The ache in the pit of her stomach was crying out every time he pulled away from her. She wanted him.
She sat down on the bed, pulling him down over her as she lay back on the mattress. He kissed her deeply, breath ragged as he ran his hands up and down her sides, pulling her flush beneath his strong body. She gasped, her whole body on fire wherever he touched. She had enjoyed sex in the past, but had never ever felt it completely overwhelm her like this. She couldn't think of anything, anything at all besides the delightful torture of his hands on her, his full lips turning her insides into liquid fire. When he ran his lips onto her neck, sucking and kissing at her skin and grinding his hard dick into her core, she thought she was going to die. He was everywhere. She couldn't think about anything except the ache pooling between her legs.
She felt the metal of his hand stroke her, cold against her burning inner leg, and gasped. Anakin stopped kissing her neck, switching hands to bring his flesh one to stroke her leg and holding the metal on her waist.
'No Ani' she said between breaths, her chest rising and falling rapidly under his strong body. She took his mental hand, placing it between her legs, all shyness dissipating.
He gulped, his blue eyes burning. 'Padme… I don't know…' he looked away.
'Ani' she whispered his name, her lips flushed. 'Touch me.'
That was all it took. His lips were on hers in a scorching kiss, their bodies crashing together as they kissed with an intensity that was sending fire through both their bodies.
Anakin trailed his metal fingers up the inside of her leg, making her gasp with delight. His hand, its coldness shocking her burning skin, trailed higher up her thigh, until finally, he stroked her through the front of her underwear under her dress.
He looked at her, breath rapid. She nodded, silently granting him permission to explore her body.
Her head titled back in delight as he pushed her underwear to the side and slipped one metal finger inside her. She hadn't realised how wet she was, had been for hours, until this intrusion amplified the dull ache. She moaned softly. He pulled his finger out, then delved back in deeper, curling within her as she thrust up against his hand. And then he added another finger. She cried out his name, his hand curling inside her and feeding the overpowering ache. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. Her toes were curling, her legs locked around his waist as he continued his blissful torture. When she felt the cold brush of metal against her clit, she thought she was going to die. His thumb circled her clit as his fingers continued to fuck her, curling deeper and deeper inside her to hit that one sweet spot she didn't know existed till right then. Every time he stroked her, she wanted to cry out, she was on fire, the pressure building, building until finally she cracked. For the first time at the hands of a man, she came, sparks bursting behind her vision as a torrent of pleasure washed over her. Her back arched, her entire body shaking as she held his hand in place and rode out her orgasm.
It must have been minutes before she came down from the high. She was shaking, sweating on the bed, still catching her breath as Anakin lay beside her, panting for dear life.
'Holy shit Padme, that was so fucking hot- I can't even –'
She laughed, still panting, taking his metal hand up to her mouth and slowly tasting herself on his fingers.
His mouth fell open. His fantasies had not prepared him for this.
Padme giggled at how gobsmacked he was. 'Was that good for you too Ani?' she asked, laughing at his dumb-struck expression.
He collapsed into her, his head resting in the crook of her neck as she laughed, winding her fingers into his short hair and holding him to her.
'You have no idea how unbelievable you are' he whispered into her neck. 'You have no fucking idea Padme.'
She could feel his hardness grinding lightly against her, showing her exactly how hot this all was. Poor Ani. They were wearing far too many clothes right now.
She gently pulled him up to look at her. 'Anakin. That was- wow. Will you let me return the favour?'
His mouth fell open again. She really wasn't being fair. It was his first time after all.
'Padme, I th-think I'm about two minutes away from that myself, I won't lie to you' he said shakily, holding his trembling body above her with his strong arms.
Padme giggled, running her thumb over his swollen bottom lip. 'Well Ani, we could… you know… do some stuff to sort that out, and then start again before we actually have sex?'
Again, she saw him gulp and his eyes dilate. He clearly was trying to compose himself while living out his ultimate fantasy that was ten years in the making. She tried not to let it go to her head.
'I-Pad-' he took a breath. 'I really, really want to have sex with you. Like, really badly. I know it might be bad-'
'Ani, it will be incredible' she whispered, smiling as she tugged him down for a fiery kiss, her tongue dancing over his and making him moan into her.
She rolled them over, straddling him and feeling his obvious hardness beneath her. It was all she could do to stop herself grinding against him. And she did a bad job of controlling herself.
'Pad- you're killing me' Anakin moaned, thrusting up to meet her and gasping.
She giggled. God he was so hot, his lips pouted and a blush enhancing his golden tan.
Slowly, she began untying the top part of her dress, the straps pooling at her waist as she sat there in her bra. Her chest was rising and falling, the ache in her stomach pooling again as she watched Ani completely transfixed. In another world, she would have wanted him to undress her, feeling his strong hands running over her body as they tasted each other. Oh well. There was always tomorrow. Better not push him too hard on his first time.
Slowly, she reached around and undid her bra, tossing it to the floor. Anakin looked like he couldn't actually believe what was happening to him. The faintest glimmer of a laugh crossed his lips, as if he couldn't believe this was real. She ground her core against his erection to remind him yes, yes it was real.
She was so mean.
Anakin sat up, cupping her breasts in both hands and gazing at her in complete awe. He circled each of her nipples, hard under her beating heart, with his fingers, completely enthralled. She gasped. The feeling of his hands on her, the contrast between the fire inside her and the cold metal of his thumb on her nipple sent sparks quivering all over her body.
He suddenly picked her up by the waist, wrapping her legs around him until she was lying on her back, her chest rising and falling beneath him.
'You are so unbelievably beautiful' he whispered, as if he was unable to believe he was here. She smiled at him, opening her mouth to speak when he began kissing her neck. She trembled and moaned beneath him as his soft lips sucked on her skin. The feeling of her nipples brushing against the material of his tunic felt incredibly. She could only imagine how it would feel against his skin.
Anakin began moving down her body, running his mouth over her collar bones, looking up at her with those burning blue eyes. She gulped. His mouth continued its journey, his tongue licking down her chest, between the cavity of her breasts, until he took a nipple in his mouth. Padme gasped. His mouth on the sensitive skin, his tongue twirling, licking, tasting her, was drawing out feeling so sweet she wanted to die. She could feel herself getting painfully wet, grinding against the fabric of her underwear, which somehow was still on from earlier. He brought his flesh hand up to stroke her other breast, and then, as if changing his mind, ran his metal hand up her body to take on the task. The cold against her hard nipple made Padme moan with delight as her heart burst with joy at him touching her with his new hand.
He pulled away, indicating her to raise her ass off the bed as he pulled her dress off, chucking it on the floor and leaving her only in her underwear. Before she could even move, he had slowly run his hands up the sides of her body, pulling the underwear down and gulping.
Padme lay there, watching him watch her. The feeling from before, her world shifting irrevocably, overcame her, and she suddenly wanted to cry. Never had one glance made her feel so completely bare. Anakin gazed at her like a man seeing heaven. His awe, his breath caught in his throat, and the utter utter love pouring out his deep blue eyes made her want to cry. He looked like he was half struggling against tears, half desperately trying to save every detail in his mind, photographing her naked body as if she would be snatched away from him.
Finally he spoke. 'You are so, so beautiful Padme' he said, his voice hitching in his throat.
Padme thought she would cry from the sheer emotion between them. Her chest heaved, and she realised with surprise that she was. Tears pooled from her eyes, and she dabbed them with surprise, her hands still shaking from being so turned on.
She sat up, laughing. Anakin leaned his forehead against hers, laughing as a tear fell down his cheek too. She gazed up at him and he bit his lip.
'I love you so much-' he whispered, almost unable to get the words out.
'I love you too Ani' she whispered, tilted her head to kiss him. They broke the kiss, panting into each other.
'Ani, do you want to-' it was time. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her body processing the emotional storm of the evening.
Anakin stood up, chucking his clothes aside, tunic first, then boots, then trousers, with rapid speed, looping his sabre belt over the bedframe.
Padme barely had time to admire the rippling hard muscles of his body, his golden tan, the long lean muscles of his strong arms, before he had climbed back on top of her, kissing her and molding their bodies together. He was built like a statue. She wanted to spend hours running her hands, her mouth, over every line of his body. But she didn't want to push him tonight. There was always tomorrow.
'Padme' he whispered her name, breaking them apart and leaning his forehead against hers again. 'I- I want to go- go down on you. Do you want that?'
He looked at her inquisitively, smirking when he saw her mouth fall open and a blush cloud her cheeks. Her core squeezed torturously at his words.
'Ani- I' it was her turn to be lost for words. 'I- w-would love that.'
He grinned, his gorgeous face lighting up and he began kissing down her body.
'Wait- wait!' she pulled him back up, sitting up. 'Ani-' she took his perfect face in her hands, tracing his lips, his cheekbones with her fingers.
'Do you think you can- you know-last?' she didn't want to be rude, but she looked down at the outline of his dick straining through his underwear. He gulped, even her glance making it jerk under the fabric. 'Be honest Ani. We have so long to explore each other- it doesn't have to be now.'
'I think- yeah, I'm not sure I can' he said shyly, looking down in shame.
'Ani!' Padme titled his head back up. 'That's nothing to worry about! I want this to be good for you! I want you to enjoy this, and not worry about me! If you haven't noticed, you've already made me cum tonight…'
She could see the blush in his face, his throat gulping at her words. Yep, she wasn't going to push him.
She kissed him gently, feeling his hand stroke her breast as she ran her hands over his strong back muscles. 'I want to be with you. I want to have sex with you so badly, tonight' she whispered between kisses.
'Fuck Padme, you are killing me' he whispered. She knew. She kissed him, pulling him down onto the bed on top of her. As they kissed passionately, each time more and more frantic, more breathless, she looked in his eyes, asking permission to touch him.
He gulped, looking down and taking a breath as if to compose himself.
'Can I Ani?' she whispered.
'One second' he squeezed his eyes shut and took a breath.
Padme clamped her hand over her mouth to suppress a laugh. He was so painfully gorgeous, so wonderfully adorable.
Anakin shook his head, laughing with his eyes still closed. 'Don't you dare laugh at me Padme, lying there looking like that and expecting me to be OK. You try being in my position, with the most beautiful woman on earth here, and tell me you would do better' he laughed, still closing his eyes.
Padme decided not to inform him that she had in fact touched herself a number of times. No, she wanted to at least have sex with him first.
She kissed his mouth, trailing his hand over the defined muscles of his stomach until she finally stroked her hand up and down the outline of his dick through the cloth of his underwear.
He gasped. She realised she needed to do this quickly.
She ran her hand under the waistband, touching his hardness for the first time. Holy shit he was huge. Anakin was panting, his face nestled in the crook of her neck as she slowly ran her hand up and down the length of him, as if checking it was actually real.
She gulped. It was. She could feel his teeth nip at the skin of her neck, his eyes squeezed shut as she ran her hand again on the soft velvety skin, straining under her touch. He must be at least 8 inches, if not more. This would be new for her too.
'Pad- I don't think I-' his voice was strained. She got the picture.
Pulling him back up onto his arms, she slowly guided him to her core. He was breathing so deeply, so controlled, that she wondered if he was meditating right now. She could feel her heartbeat in her mouth as she rubbed the tip of him up and down her wetness. She moaned.
'Padme- pl-please' he was begging her now.
How could she say no to that face?
She looked in his eyes, titling his face up to her. He was panting, his pupils black with lust, trying too hard to compose himself. But she needed this moment.
'I love you Ani' she whispered, gently turning him onto his back on the bed. Best if she took control here.
She climbed on top and slowly sank onto his length.
Holy god. She flung her head back, taking a moment to adjust to his considerable size. Her chest rose and fell, her breath shallow, overcome with how good it felt to finally have him inside her. She braced herself on his stomach muscles, raising herself up then sinking down even further. She moaned loudly, throwing her head back as he instantly brushed against that mysterious spot his fingers had discovered earlier. She ground into him as she began to ride him. Her clit was throbbing, rubbing against his stomach as she leaned slightly forward. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he brought his hands up to hold her waist, his hips meeting hers as she let delicious moans escape from her swollen lips. It had never been like this before. She could barely think, frantically chasing the euphoria that overcame her every time he stroked that spot deep inside her. She could feel the ache growing, building…
He opened his eyes.
She could see him shake, taking in the vision of her riding him, and, with three hard thrusts, he cracked. She felt the pleasure build as he trembled beneath her, filling her up as he came. Minutes later, he gasped, breathing frantically as he ran a sweaty hand through his hair.
He was still inside her, twitching slightly as she lightly ground against him once more, and reluctantly climbed off him.
He pulled her into his arms, showering her face and body with kisses.
'Oh my god Padme, you are- that was- oh my god' he actually burst out laughing, pulling her close to his chest and lightly tickling her. Padme cackled, squirming in his huge arms. His touch still made her tremble- she had been very very close, after all.
Anakin lay her down, resting his head on her chest as they both tried their best to regain their breath.
'That was the best day of my life' he mused, threading their fingers together as she stroked his hair softly. 'I just- I just love you so, so much' he sat up on his arms, gazing at her with wonder.
She giggled, her eyes filling with tears. 'Ani, I-' she couldn't even find the words. But she wanted to try. Taking a breath, she spoke. 'Ani, I had this feeling, that once we had slept together, that it would change everything. That there would be no turning back. And it was so much more, so much deeper than I had even imagined.'
He smiled down at her, running his thumb over her lip.
'I love you so much Ani' she whispered. He leaned down and kissed her gently. She melted again, the feeling of his tongue stroking up the fire that still hadn't been quenched between her legs. He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking deliciously as she arched her back into him. He held her waist, his hands cupping her ass as he kissed down her body.
As he moved his mouth to circle her nipple, she spoke 'Ani! You don't have to-'
'Shh' he gestured her to be quiet. 'You didn't cum. I want to change that.' His smirk made her stomach tighten.
'How did you-'
'I have The Force, remember' he grinned, licking down to her stomach and making her gasp. Holy fuck, she could feel herself trembling under him as his tongue pooled in her belly button, his breath sending tingles down her body. She could hear her own moans after they left her mouth. Anakin kissed further down, purposely avoiding the one area she was aching him to touch, and placing wet, long, languorous kissed on the soft skin of her inner thigh. His mouth trailed higher as he pulled her leg over his shoulder. Padme could think of nothing but the ache between her legs and the feeling of his hands stroking her thigh. No man had ever done this to her before.
She gasped as his tongue slowly licked up the length of her. It felt painfully good. Oh god- he did it again. His mouth tasted her core, licking the wetness. She cried out, the new feeling possessing her. The feeling of his mouth, his tongue, licking out her most private area, was so hot, felt so unbelievably good, she could feel the pressure building already. She felt his mouth close around her clit, his tongue circling it and driving her to delirium. She couldn't think. She could barely breath. All she could do was arch her back, and let this torrent of pleasure possess her. Within minutes, she felt the barrier break, felt herself tumble off the mountain peak with such a rush of pleasure that she forgot who she was. When she composed herself, trembling wildly, she was already cradled in Anakin's strong arms, her shaking body draped across the hard muscles of his chest.
She looked at him, mouth open in utter bewilderment.
'Did you enjoy that Senator' his eyes glinted, smirking at every word. She smacked his arm playfully, her hands still shaking as they collapsed into giggle, both completely exhausted.
They didn't remember much else, except falling asleep, skin on skin, holding each other under the stars.
The Next Day
As he gained consciousness, Anakin had the overwhelming urge to itch. Something was brushing against his cheek, tickling him out of his deep sleep.
He cracked open an eye to see the breathtaking image of Padme snuggled up against his side, her head resting on her chin, her long brown hair splayed out on the pillow. A strand of this was the culprit of the aforementioned itch. Anakin chuckled. What a difference a day makes.
His gaze trailed lower, down the naked back of his love. Down to the curve of her ass, partially hidden under the sheet. His metal arm was looped lazily around her waist as she slept. He gently trailed his fingertips up and down her body, marveling at the velvet feeling of her skin against the metal sensors.
She muttered something in her sleep, shivering and nuzzling closer into his chest.
Anakin felt his heart swell. How could he be so lucky? He gazed down at the contrast in their skin tones, the porcelain white of her soft back against his deep tan. Being with Padme, his Angel, the girl he had always loved, after so long was… magical. It was such a rush that it almost distracted him from the loss of the last few weeks. His heart jolted in physical pain as he remembered his mum, his kind beautiful mum, battered and bruised. Abused. Alone. He had failed her.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe through the surge of grief that washed over him. He missed her so much. He could feel his vision cloud with hot bursts of anger, seeping into his mind like ink permeating water every time he thought of what happened to Schmi. He tried to breath. To quell it. To calm himself. And often, he managed- just about. He thought about Padme, of her beauty and her support, and the anger was pushed back down into the unlocked box in his mind. And all that was left was a deep ache. A chasm of sadness, of utter desperate sadness. He would never see her again. She was gone. It was enough to make him regret leaving Tatouine.
He was brought out of his feelings as he felt a stirring by his side. He opened his eyes to see Padme gently stroking his cheek with her fingertips. Her face lit up by the sunlight made her look like he was being visited by an Angel. Shit, maybe he was!
'What are you thinking about Ani' she whispered, a beautiful smile dancing across her face. He felt warmth wash over him as he leaned down and kissed her palm.
'Just you, Angel' he smiled, still unable to process her, this, last night, everything that had happened to him.
'Ani' her eyes looked sad. She could see through his lie. 'You know you can always talk to me.'
He sighed. How could the Jedi tell him that this, that love and support after loss and grief, was some sort of evil?
'I was thinking about my mother' he said, his voice trailing off.
Padme's eyes shone in pain for him. 'I think about her too Ani. All the time.' She kissed him softly. 'Talk to me my love.'
He sighed, kissing the top of her head. 'I-I just miss her.' He felt another wave wash over him, and he winced, squeezing his eyes shut to mask the ache.
'She was an incredible woman Ani, and she loved you so much' Padme stroked his face as he rode out the pain. 'She was so proud of who you have grown into, I know it. Beru and Owen told me how much she spoke of you, how much she shared about her Jedi son who was off saving the Galaxy. I think they got pretty sick of it, actually.'
Anakin smiled down at her, stroking her hair.
'They told us she would cook a feast for them every year for your birthday, and set an empty place for you at every celebration. They said that when she was hurting or missing you, she would write you notes, and attach them to mouse-droids and send them off into the desert. She knew you would never read them, but Owen said it helped her feel close to you. And they told me that the day she was freed, she told Cliegg she could die happy now, after one final wish.'
Padme brushed away every tear that ran down Anakin's face. 'It was to see you one more time Ani.'
Anakin sighed, gulping with pain.
'You made her so proud Ani. I was only privileged to meet her that short amount of time, but it was so obvious how much she loved you. And she got to be with you again. I know that's what she would have wanted. I'm sure that's what kept her holding out so long.'
'I love you so much' Anakin whispered into her hair, burying his face into her neck as she stroked the back of his head.
'You'll get through this Ani' Padme whispered, 'It won't ever be OK, but you'll get through the pain.'
He gazed at her. How could this be wrong? How could lying here with her, working through it, be more dangerous than pushing it down, denying it, hiding it?
His mouth curled into a smirk. 'You're incredible. I feel better already.'
'You don't have to, Ani. It's OK to not feel better' she smiled.
He laced his fingers through her hair, pulling her down for a kiss. She climbed on top of him, deepening the kiss as his hands stroked down her back.
'OK, now I feel better' he whispered.
.
Anakin and Padme lay on the daybed, lounging like cats in the sun, completely exhausted. These three days had been the best of their lives, no question about it. They hadn't done much except explore each other's bodies and fuck in every conceivable way. In the space of a few days, Anakin had gone from an inexperienced virgin to a man verging on arrogant about his new-found skills. (Well, are you surprised if his attitude to his Jedi training is anything to go by?) Padme had taught him everything she knew, and then he had taught her some new stuff too, and then they had taught each other over and over again. Well, he was a slow learner.
He trailed his fingers over the skin of Padme's back as she lounged on his chest.
'What do you want to do now Ani?' she rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him with a little pout.
'God Angel, you want to go again? I know I'm pretty incredible, but can I at least get half an hour to relax? I'll be sent back to war more broken and battered than I was before' he laughed at her outraged, tickling her playfully.
'That's not what I meant silly' she laughed, 'and if anyone needs a break, it's me. We know fine well I've been doing most of the work lately.'
He smirked at her as she giggled. Ever since the first time she had… well… returned the favour of his wonderful head-giving skills, he couldn't live without the feeling (and image) of her on her knees, sliding his dick further and further down her throat, the vibrations of her slightly gagging as she took him in her mouth sending him into mad lust. He could barely go an hour without wanting to relive the last time. But at least he loved going down on her equally as much. Her losing control as he tasted her seemed to produce the same effect. So she was OK with it.
'So you want me to pay you back? Is that it?' he smirked, 'are you forgetting the waterfall, Senator?'
'How could I forget Master Jedi? I'm still shaking' she held out a hand, showing it tremble slightly. 'And to think I could cum that hard without you even touching me…'
'The Force is a beautiful thing when used correctly, Angel' he smiled, waving his hand to send a burst of pressure brushing against her clit as a reminder of earlier. 'That was certainly an eventful swim, I'll give you that. Plus, I never actually confirmed that it was me who did that to you. Maybe there was a secret Sith Lord hiding in the bushes and manipulating your body against my will.'
'You could take any Sith Lord Ani' she kissed him, 'plus, I know how you touch me, and the Force definitely felt familiar.'
'Wow Senator you have weaseled a confession out of me already' he kissed her back playfully, 'they told me you were good, but shit...'
She laced her fingers through his hair, smiling into the kiss.
They made out under the sun for a bit, their hands running over each other's bodies.
Padme finally broke the kiss. 'Ani, I was thinking. We should talk.'
Anakin raised his eyebrows. 'Are you breaking up with me Pad? Because if so, I have to say you have been giving very mixed signals.'
'No silly! I love you! I would never!' she laughed. God she was stunning. Beautiful, wonderful, perfect. 'No, I have just been thinking. We really should set up some sort of communication network, a private one, for us to talk while you're at war.'
She gulped, trying to quell the pain that they would soon be parted. 'I don't think I can cope just waiting indefinitely for you to get back.'
Anakin sat back, musing. 'I hadn't thought about that actually. Or about how it's going to work- you know, after this week.'
'Well Ani, we better start' she laughed, battling against the pain, 'because we only have three days left before-'
He winced, looking away.
'I'm sorry Ani' she stroked his cheek gently, 'but I just wanted to talk about it. To make some plans.'
'No, Angel, don't be silly' he said, brow furrowing slightly, 'you're right. I just hadn't really given much thought about what would happen when we went back to reality, that's all.'
'Well I guess it's not too much to worry about' she smiled, 'you can just come and be with me whenever you can, whenever you're in Coruscant, or whenever you get a break from war. You have an open invitation, my love.'
Anakin didn't smile. 'What, just drop in and out like a thief in the night?'
'A thief?! Well no Ani because I have consented first of all!' she laughed. He didn't. 'And well, what other choice do we have?'
He looked down, chewing on his lip.
Padme gulped. He wasn't happy, she knew it.
Suddenly he looked back up at her, a smile lighting up his gorgeous face. 'You're right my love, I'm being silly. We should arrange it all- and I plan to. Right after…'
He trailed off, kissing the spot on her neck that they had learned reduced her to a quivering mess in about two minutes flat.
She laughed, wrapping her arms around him.
.
They ate on the patio that night. The sun was too glorious to miss as it set, lighting up the lake in hues of pink, cerulean blue, hypnotic purple, green…
Padme had just finished telling Ani about the time her and Sola had dressed up as paparazzi members to get revenge on a particularly misogynistic photographer who had made numerous crude photo-spreads based on false pictures of Queen Amidala and her handmaidens.
'So we dressed in anoraks, fake moustaches and flat caps, hid in his bushes and got quite the file of evidence. I have never seen a man with quite such eclectic tastes in hired escorts, I'll put it that way. Safe to say, once we threatened him with leaking some picture of our own, he swore to leave his creepy ways in the past. In fact, no one in Naboo has heard from him since!' Padme said, laughing. 'Sola is quite the genius when it comes to wicked plots.'
'Well good job you have her Pad, because I can't imagine you ever dreaming up something that could hurt someone else, even if it did help the general populous' Anakin laughed, 'meanest isn't an emotion you possess.'
Padme's smile broke wide across her face.
'How are you tonight my love?' she couldn't hide the worry in her voice. He had been quiet all evening, only responding when prompted and acting like he was miles away. 'You seem a little… distracted.'
Anakin looked down, smiling.
'In truth, Pad, I have been.' He looked up at her, his blue eyes burning.
She gulped.
'Is this about earlier?' she had upset him. She knew it.
'It is.' He looked up at her, chewing on his lip. 'Look Padme.'
He reached over the table, the sunset lighting up his face as he took her hands in his. Her heart swelled to see him using his new hand as if it was second nature now. But back to the matter at hand.
He gulped. 'Padme.'
'Yes Anakin' she could feel her heart beating in her throat, ringing in her ears. She suddenly had to suppress the urge to laugh at how formal this all was. That was until the panic set in.
'Padme' he smiled, composing himself. 'Look.'
'Ani, you might have to say a bit more than 'Padme Look' over and over' she said, laughing shakily. 'I'm freaking out a bit here.'
'Sorry, sorry my love' he laughed, doing nothing to quell her nerves 'Ok look.'
She gestured in frustration!
'Sorry! OK. So.' He took a breath. 'Today, on the beds, we were talking about our future. You might remember.'
'Yes Anakin I do' she said, feeling like she was standing before Palpatine at the Senate meeting session.
'Well you said we should visit each other, sneak into your apartment as lovers and sneak out and no one would know?'
'Well I didn't mean it like that Ani, but that is the gist of it, yes' she gulped.
'Look Padme' a beautiful laugh crossed his face as he gazed deeply at her. 'I love you. I didn't think it was possible to be more in love with you than I was when we were last here, but holy shit was I wrong. Every day I know you, everything I find out about you just adds more dimensions to my feelings, more parts of you to love in new ways. This week has been- it's been indescribable.'
'It has been' she whispered, her heart swelling.
'But listen' he gulped, 'this week, I know we have… well we have done a lot of stuff. And I love it. And I don't want that to stop- no way. But look.'
She gulped.
'I don't want to be your lover Padme' he looked deeply at her, blue eyes burning. 'This week, I haven't felt like your lover. I don't want to drop by your apartment, fuck you and then disappear into the night. I am in love with you. That? That cheapens what we have! That isn't us! I would rather be your Jedi protector than your midnight fuck boy.'
'Ani that's not what I meant-' she laughed.
'Pad, Pad-please. Hear me out' he looked at her sincerely, pausing to breath. 'Look.'
She giggled.
'Our love is the most beautiful thing in The Galaxy, I just know it. I don't believe anyone has ever felt like we do. And I know we can't tell anyone, I know that. But I can't relegate what we have to some backdoor secret affair. I can't do that. Not with you. Not with us. I don't want that, I can't. Can you Padme?'
She sighed, his deep gaze coaxing out pain she hadn't even addressed yet. A life of having a clandestine lover, dropping by at short notice? That was heartbreaking.
'I don't want that either Ani' she whispered, barely even able to admit it to herself. Her eyes filled with tears, and she gulped. 'But what choice do we have? We can't be anything else!'
'Padme, there's always a choice!' his voice was on fire with passion as he took her hands in his. 'Now you're going to think- well, can you just promise not to speak for like 2 minutes so I can get this out, OK?'
'Are you calling me a loud-mouth Ani?' she dropped her mouth in fake shock, laughing as he rolled his eyes.
'Of course not my love. Just listen, and you'll know why I say that.'
She bit her lip.
He looked down, taking a deliberate breath to compose himself, before greeting her with his burning gaze.
'Padme. I am so in love with you. I would never have thought in my wildest dreams that you would be mine, that we would feel like we do. And yet, I felt The Force bringing us together, showing me that we were destined to be together. And I know it's not easy. I know we have to make sacrifices. But I don't think our love should be one of them.'
She could feel herself smiling as his words lit up her heart.
'Pad, I don't want to be your lover. I don't want to be your boyfriend, just some other guy you slept with, someone you once loved. We are so much more than that. And I know we can't tell anyone about our love, but that doesn't mean we can commit ourselves to each other, to honour what we have in private, even if only we know.'
Her heart was thumping as he tried to control his grin. She opened her mouth to speak, but he shot her a warning look. He needed his two minutes.
'Now you're going to think I'm crazy. I know you are. But I just couldn't stop thinking, all day, and this just felt so… so right' he was grinning wildly now. Padme was shaking, barely able to control an outburst.
Her hands sprung to her face as, smiling from ear to ear, he knelt in front of her.
'Padme Naberrie' he smiled up at her, the sun lighting his golden face, 'will you marry me?'
Padme wanted to shriek as he reached into his pocket and produced a small metal band, intricately carved from metal.
'Ani!' she couldn't speak! She could barely think!
'You don't have to respond now, Angel. I know this is huge, crazy and, well, forbidden by The Code. But so is our love, and I have no intention of stopping that. But please, think about it.' He smiled, sliding the beautiful ring on her finger. The pattern looked like twine branches looping together into a tiny heart.
He held her shaking hand. 'I want you to have this ring anyway, whatever you decide. I started carving it on the first day we spent here, the day of our first kiss. So it's yours, either way.'
'I love you so much' Padme whispered, pulling him into a fiery kiss as tears rushed down her face. His hands ran over her tiny waist, holding her as the sun set.
.
That night, they lay together, limbs tangled, breath panting, completely exhausted after making love countless times. Anakin's head was lying between her breasts and she could feel him drifting off to sleep, his breath getting deeper, slower, as she ran her fingers through his soft hair.
'Ani?' she whispered into the dark.
'Yeh' his drowsy reply.
She breathed. Even in the dark, she could hardly even admit to herself how wildly, how desperately she wanted their next step. How much she wanted him, them, everything.
She paused. And realised she knew.
'Yes.'
'What?' he sat up. 'You mean- yes yes?!'
'Yes.'
.
Three days later, Padme Amidala Naberrie Skywalker, a married woman, stood weeping on the very same terrace where every formative experience of her life had taken place. The first kiss with the man she loved. Her proposal. And yesterday, in a beautiful ceremony with two droid witnesses, her wedding. And now she had to say goodbye to her new husband.
He held her face in his hands, kissing her softly as she cried, holding his waist as the sobs shook her body. His breath stroked her ear, whispering how he would be back so soon, how much he loved her, odes to her beauty lost in sweet nothings.
Soon, far too soon, he had to go. He was ripped from her arms into his speeder, tears washing his gorgeous face as he forced himself to leave her. Padme felt her heart ripped out her chest, pain literally winding her as she gasped for breath, seeing him embark the vehicle.
Something overcame her, a sudden urge. She ran, charging down the terrace towards the landing strip, flinging herself into his arms for one last deep kiss.
'I love you so much Ani' she said, holding him for one last time through her tears. 'My husband' she said, a smile cracking through her tears as he kissed her.
'Forever, my beautiful wife' he whispered, lacing his metal fingers through hers, stroking their wedding bands.
And then he was gone. She watched him fly away, a dot getting smaller and smaller until she could no longer distinguish him from the twinkling of the stars.
I hope you liked my take! I originally wrote a scene about Obi Wan warning Padme that Anakin might have feelings for her, but after seeing how much Obi Wan loves his padawan, I decided not to include it.
Please review!
Lots of love xxx