Okay here's the latest, I apologize this update's taken awhile, working at a bakery around the holidays means little to no downtime to write. Agh. This chapter was giving me a hard time and ends a little abruptly but I needed a cut-off point. I'm delving into yet another phase of this fic and still, believe it or not, have a lot planned for it.
A few more twists up my sleeve and things. Hopefully you're willing to stick with me as I get to them.
Thanks so much livulmann, and if you haven't read Bookworm's latest fics/indigo's updates do so now!
In the meantime take this as you will.

When Carrie was hesitant to answer Brody let out a heavy sigh, reached to hold her face with his free hand.

"Look, I've done what you asked. You've got my full attention. Can you please just me why you're doing this.", he asked, with a mournful tone in his voice that made her chin quiver.

"C'mon, Carrie. I need to know."

Jerkily she nodded, sat up as he did the same. Taking hold of both her hands as she swallowed hard, spoke.

"You remember that night at the motel you asked me what kind of future I imagined for us?"

"Yes. Please don't tell me this was it, I-"

"You're interrupting me.", she cautioned as he nodded, apologized.

"Well it wasn't this. I never planned on impromptu press conferences, pregnancies. I never fucking fantasized about raising a foster child, having more family to worry about than my father and Maggie. My life was my job and that was more than enough. Enough until Farrah. My entire world was fucking flipped because of her and not in a negative way. I need her but she needs more than me. She needs a family."

"What are you talking about? You're her mom, she has Maggie, your dad. She has Saul who's basically a surrogate grandfather. Virgil and his brother are her weird funny uncles. Quinn...well, she sees some kind of good in him I'm sure."

"She's lost her brothers."

"She's gaining another. Or a sister. I mean they may be her redheaded step sibling but she'll love him or her, I'm sure of it."

"What about a father?"

"What, is this where I come in?", Brody asked, getting a look.

"Brody.."

"What, Carrie..", Exasperated and overwhelmed by the situation he groaned, put his head in his hands.

"What do you mean, what? Farrah needs a father she can trust not to terrorize her, who's not surrounded by guards and guns and gets himself and her house blown up!'

"Carrie, how the fuck am I the man for that. You know my past better than anyone, I-"

"But Farrah doesn't. She won't. Hadad is responsible for enough of her nightmares. I wasn't about to let his setting you up contribute to any more of them. Cost her another father figure. As if I don't know firsthand how that fucking feels!", Carrie spat, her outburst taking Brody aback as he sat up, looked closely at her.

"Carrie.."

"I mean I know it's not like Frank Mathison isn't downstairs right at this moment, pissed and pacing and punching walls in.
But I know what it's like to think that he's so far gone there's no fucking way he's going to find his way back. I've seen him at his most manic. I've been there when his flight is in full swing and he's set to start the fucking fridge on fire and there's no getting him off that ledge, keeping him from taking that leap so you just go along with it.

And you think it's going to be fun when you're six years old and he gets you up at three AM, asks you to go on this amazing exciting adventure with him. So you say yes and sneak out your window without making a sound so Maggie and Mom don't hear, and get in the car and go on a drive to this, garbage dump.

And he says there's treasure trapped there that you're both going to try and find. Until he's arrested for trespassing and you're too busy dumpster diving, digging through dirt piles to hear or see the police. So you're just stuck there deserted in December when it's dark, and your coat is at home and you're so cold your teeth are chattering.
And you're barely conscious when the cops show up with Mom, and Maggie who found you you under a fucking heap of old clothes and carried you to the car. And when you wake up in the hospital later with tubes up your nose and a needle in your arm, Mom and Dad are in the corner of the room swearing at each other and you're just stuck watching the scene play out until they finally fucking stop and turn to see you."

"Jesus, fucking..."

Averting her eyes to avoid seeing the sympathy, heartache in his, Carrie bit her lip, composed herself before speaking again. She hadn't thought about that incident in decades and bringing it up was almost like reliving it all over again.
Seeing she was still avoiding his eyes, not sure of what he could possibly say Brody shifted closer, slipped an arm around her and kissed the side of her head.

"Afterwards he went on meds. For a month. Then it was back to miracles in the stars and my swearing I could see them too. Talk about self fulfilling prophecies."

"Carrie..."

Shaking her head she moved out from under his arm, reached for his hands instead.

"If it was just me, if I wasn't raising Farrah, hadn't reconnected with you, things wouldn't be nearly as extreme, this, essential. I'd manage without meds, put whatever mania ensued into my work. I could justify it if I was just my job but, I'm not anymore! I can't be that."

"Because of me.", Brody sighed knowingly.

"And Farrah. I told you she's the catalyst, contributing factor for so fucking much of this. You think I'd throw myself in the psych ward if I didn't believe it was the best way to protect her?"

"You're really saying you think you're capable of doing to her what your dad...?"

"There's a chance.", Carrie sighed.

"But I'm here, Carrie. For Christ's sake, I've seen you at... look, your sister said when Farrah was kidnapped that I helped ground you. I stayed with you, I held your hand, I convinced you take your fucking meds-"

"Well my fucking meds are pretty frowned upon right now!", Carrie spat.

"And as far as you being around being enough, I already had an incident with your daughter."

"I know. Dana told me, but it doesn't mean.."

"Brody, it does mean something. It means everything.", she admitted softly, wiping away tears as she spoke.

"Ever since my diagnosis I've been so fucking scared of something like this. More than threats or terrorists or any terrifying fucking thing I've come across in the Middle East. I'm scared of being exactly what sent my mom on her never ending CVS run. I'm scared of frightening Farrah as much as my father frightened me. That I'll wind up alone not of my own doing but because I drove everyone I was crazy enough to love away."

Wrapping her arms protectively around herself Carrie bowed her head, ashamed, exhausted, still reeling from what she'd just revealed and knowing she wouldn't be surprised if Brody got up and walked out upon hearing it.
She'd almost think better of him for it. Now that he was semi-freed from his demons why would anyone in their right mind sign up for a round with hers.

Curling up smaller, her head still bowed she jumped slightly feeling his arms slip around, then pull her against his chest.

"You're not...crazy.", he emphasized. Sniffling she slipped her arm up, looped it around the back of his neck and he just held onto her tighter. Perfectly content if they remained clung together like this for the rest of their lives, seeing as how safe, comforting it felt.

"I'm going to do this, Brody. I have to.", she whispered as he sniffed but nodded.
"Okay. Okay."

Pulling back slightly she wiped her eyes, shook her head.

"It's the right choice, course of action. Besides it freeing you up for Farrah, it's best for the baby too. I can get a routine set up, get adjusted to the lighter dose of meds. My stay won't be the entire pregnancy but it's during the time frame when there's the most chance something can go-"

"Hey don't. Don't even think like that. You and the baby will be fine. And once you're out of there I'll make sure you are."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, whatever you need. Midnight runs to the store when you've got cravings, backrubs. I can even serenade your belly with Elvis songs, how's that sound?" he grinned getting her laughing, rolling her eyes before his face went solemn again.

"Brody?"

"I just.."

"What?"

"The doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, I want to be there for those. Be there for you. I want to be able to see you more than twice a week or whatever the fuck's allowed."

"Well I don't think they're going to bend whatever rules they have for-"

"I'll figure something out. I'm not about to let them just cart you off for months without...I'll figure something out."

"But I-"

"It shouldn't be like this!", he said sharply.
"For Christ's sake, we've been through enough bullshit as it is."

"I know. I know.", Carrie sighed, shifting away from him on the bed before standing.

"I mean you think I'm alright with it? Abandoning you and Farrah! If there was any way around it you know I'd be taking it but...there's not. I've decided and it's done."

"Wait, you really think you're abandoning...Carrie.", Shaking his head Brody stood up, moved closer to her.

"Abandoning is what your mom did to you and Maggie and your dad. It's what I did to my family. It's not what you're doing here. You're working in what you believe is our best interests."

"But wait, you just said..."

"I know what I just said. Chalk it up to my being a selfish prick though, okay."

"Well if you insist..."

A smile finding it's way onto her face, he rolled his eyes, stroked her hair.

"Look, we'll get through this, okay. I'll look after Farrah."

"Will you at least try to get along with her surrogate family in the process?"

"Well your dad isn't exactly my biggest fan but that could change. Maggie and I can manage, and Danny seems like a decent guy."

"I'm talking about Quinn. Farrah and him are close and he's helped me out a lot."

"For Christ's sake, Carrie...the man stabbed me in the fucking hand!"

"And he also came this close to shooting you in the fucking head but he didn't.", Carrie reminded.

"Look, Farrah's going to have enough trouble adjusting. Even though her and I talked, anything that could help ease the transition..."

"Okay I understand. I do. For Farrah's sake, I'll give Quinn the benefit of the doubt."

"Thank you.", Carrie said, giving him a relieved smile before moving back to, slowly lowering herself back onto the bed.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just a little lightheaded. Maggie says it's normal."

"Hang on a second..", Brody said as he went into the bathroom, brought her a paper cup with water.

"Thanks.", she said, taking a sip as he sat back down next to her, rubbed her shoulder.

"So about this sentencing tomorrow, you're sure there won't be any tricks, surprises. You're not going to be hauled off to the state pen?"

"I look awfully good in orange but no. No. Maggie's made sure of it."

"How though, she's not a lawyer."

"But her best friend happens to be. She's gotten Dad out of scrapes in the past, and she reminded the judge that you didn't press charges but that I confessed, pled guilty, and prior to my sentencing I'd be released to my sister who's a licensed physician. I don't think there will be any surprises, slip ups."

"If there is I swear I'm intervening. Telling them to lock me up instead. It's not like I'm not used to cells anyway."

"Brody enough, please. I don't want to think, talk about tomorrow anymore."

"Alright, alright, that's fine. I just assume not think about anything either."

"Anything?", Carrie asked slyly as she shifted onto his lap, slipped her arms around his neck.

"Oh c'mon. Carrie..."

Nipping at his lips she giggled, ground against him as he rolled his eyes.

"Fuck me..", he groaned, exasperated, but she took it as a suggestion and grinned, started slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Kissing each of his scars as she revealed them.

When her lips went lower, knowing this couldn't last much longer Brody pulled her up then took hold of her. Felt her legs wrap around his waist as he stood, went to set her down on top of the dresser.

"Not here!", Carrie whined, shaking her head.

"Jesus, that's right up against the wall! Everyone will-"

Making a move to carry her to the bathroom instead, she kicked her heel into his lower back.

"Are you shitting me, that's my niece's bathroom!"

"Motherfucking...isn't this the guest room? I-"

"Ugh, just, back to the bed. Now! Go!"

"But-"

"Either we go back to the bed or this isn't happening!"

"I don't think it's happening either way.", Brody groaned, letting her down as he shook his head, defeated.

"Jesus! You're telling me you're giving up on all of this that easily.", Carrie asked, throwing off her hoodie and the thin tee underneath.

Grinning at Brody as he all but lunged at her, pinned her back against the pillows. Kissing down her neck he reached back to unhook her bra only to hear a knock.

"Carrie? NICK!"

"Oh shit...Farrah?", Carrie called, seeing the doorknob jiggle before she heard a soft thud, then a loud knock.

"Yes! The door no work!"

"In a second, Farrah..", Brody sighed, getting up and getting himself straight as Carrie quickly zipped her sweatshirt and leaned back against the pillows. Laughing as she shook her head in awe.