Chapter 13

Anya grimaced at the way the whiskey burned going down. The sensation was never pleasant, but that wasn't the point. The tribunal had torn her nerves to shreds, and she knew that she'd been a hairsbreadth from having no choice but to expose Tali's father. Using her service history had been a Hail Mary at best, and she wasn't sure what she would have done if her words hadn't managed to land just right.

The door opened, and Anya wasn't surprised to see Garrus walk in.

"Everything okay, Shepard?" he asked gently.

"I'm...I'm okay."

"If you were okay, that would be wine. Whiskey is not your 'okay' drink." He was next to her at the bar now, leaning back against it, his shoulder almost touching hers.

She snorted. "I will be okay. Better?"

"We're getting closer. Why don't you talk to me about it? See if we can get there."

"I just...at the tribunal. Holding Tali's life in my hands like that, it...I'm not cut out for it."

"We're responsible for each other's lives every time we go out on a mission, Anya."

"That's different, though. Tali's life could have been ruined in so many different ways if I hadn't been lucky."

"That wasn't luck. You're more persuasive than you think."

"I swear to God, sometimes all I'm doing is talking until something sticks."

"Well, you make it look very natural, if it helps. I know that you sounded very passionate when you defended Tali, and I'm sure your sincerity struck a chord."

"I was desperate, Garrus. My only other options were letting her get exiled or ruining our friendship by outing her dad. If that hadn't worked…"

"You would have found a way."

"I have already died once, that is already ample evidence that I can't talk or shoot my way out of everything."

She saw a brief flash of something pained cross his expression, and she wished for a moment that she hadn't spoken. The silence stretched between them for a few moments when he finally, quietly, said, "You're right, but how many times should we have all died, but didn't because of you?"

"How many times did you end up in those situations because of me?"

"We choose to be with you. We know what we're risking. We aren't all calling this a suicide mission because it's catchy."

She snorted. "That's not the point."

"Then what is?"

She opened her mouth, then quickly closed it again. After a beat, she finally answered, "I don't know."

"Then why don't we celebrate?" He rested a hand on one of hers, and she glanced down. He gently brushed a thumb along the back of her hand and she noticed that the exposed part of one of his talons had been filed down. She caught herself smiling outright at the realization, and she turned to him.

"Okay. You win this time. I will try to be less of a sad sack."

"Good. Anyway, you can't just steal my whole thing. Everyone already knows that I'm the broody one."

She laughed and his mandible twitched. "You are absolutely impossible, Vakarian."

"But that's why we work so well together. There's a reason, a very good reason, there's no Vakarian without Shepard." He squeezed her hand gently.

"And there's no Shepard without Vakarian."

He enveloped her in a careful embrace, murmuring into her hair, "Attagirl."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him a little. She closed her eyes when his arms tightened around her, and a small, content noise escaped her.

"This is nice," she finally said quietly.

"It really is." She could feel the reverberations in his chest when he spoke.

"I like your subharmonics, by the way."

He chuckled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. They're kind of...soothing. I mean, obviously I don't hear them, but I can feel them."

"Well, I'm glad you're a fan." He gently ran a talon through her hair, and she made another pleased noise. "You're welcome to come feel them anytime."

"Mmm, don't tempt me. I'm liable to ask you to go ahead and come to bed with me, and we'll just figure the sex out eventually."

He laughed again. "That good, huh?"

"Definitely." She pulled back enough to look up at him and smile, her hands wandering idly towards the back of his neck. He leaned down and gently pressed his forehead to hers. Her fingertips lightly grazed his fringe, and she felt her breath hitch when his hands tightened at her waist. Her hips were suddenly pinned to his, and the rumble in his chest shifted to something deeper.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean-I wasn't expecting-" He released her quickly, realization and worry written in his features. She interrupted by pressing her mouth to his.

"Don't be sorry. I liked it." She touched his fringe again experimentally, and he was quick to spin them both so that her lower back was against the bar. Anya gasped when he ground his hips against hers, and her fingers tightened. He let out a rough noise, and a thrill ran through her when he thrust again.

The friction was delicious, and she felt her leg shift to the side and wrap around the outside of his slowly. The rumble in his chest made her heart slam in her ribs, and she wondered for a moment if he noticed.

"Spirits, Anya," he practically growled.

"What? Don't you like it?" she teased gently, ghosting kisses along his mandible.

"Not even close to my current problem."

"Oh? And what is the current problem?"

"How am I supposed to wait if you keep going out of your way to make me so wound up that all I can think about is bending you over the bar?"

"If you're hoping I can give you a reason not to do it right now, you may want to brace yourself to be sorely mistaken."

He groaned and buried his face in her neck before the door opened and in strode Jack and Tali. Jack's eyes were wide when she saw them, but Tali was oblivious for a few seconds longer. They awkwardly disentangled themselves as quickly as they could.

Anya grimaced and muttered. "Told you we're bad at it."

"Seriously, Shepard?" Jack snapped as Tali failed to stifle a laugh.

"What?" She could feel her face heat.

"You chose the bar after a goddamn mission as an opportune time to get hot and heavy? That is just sad. You'd totally be getting railed right now if you'd just picked a different fucking spot to...canoodle? Do you old people still use canoodle?" Jack mocked.

"I'm not even twenty-nine, for fuck's sake. How old did you think I am?" Anya said incredulously.

"Ah, technically…" Garrus started hesitantly.

"Don't even start. I am not debating birthdays when I was dead. I refuse. Matter of principle at this point. Excuse me." Anya stepped away from the bar, eyes fixed on the door as her face continued to pinken.

"Okay, so, now that Shepard is leaving, Garrus, what was the line she dropped that convinced you to bone her?" Jack smirked as Anya passed, and the older woman rolled her eyes.

"Don't do it Garrus."

"I have a sneaking suspicion that I will not be telling you," the turian said.

"Smart man!" Anya called over her shoulder, and she saw his mandible twitch upward.