A/N: As per STAGES OF LOATHING, updates will be on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This is actually my favourite part of the series, even if it was rather hard to write. Hope you all enjoy & please review! This was meant to be up on Monday, but i have been having upload problems as of late
Grab my hand I'm drowning, I feel my heart pounding. Traumas, they surround me
7th May 2019
For most of the time he had known her, Merlin hadn't gotten on with Morgana. While they did date for just over three months, by the time he told her he loved her, a switch flipped and she turned on him, deciding to break up with him seeing as a past life had returned to them. Apparently it would only happen when you meet your soulmate and declare true love. Morgana—his soulmate? She tried to kill him several times and she accused him of trying to kill her (but how was he supposed to know she had a peanut allergy?).
From Merlin's view, the past was in the past and nothing could change that. Nothing at all, they could only learn from their mistakes and move on into the future. While they did occasional talk (being the newbies that had just finished the PCGE. Mithian had finished hers ages ago), she often was frosty and would only talk to him about the work, whenever he tried to enquire about how she was she told him she was busy and left.
Parents evening had been stressful. There was no denying it. And he would happily have had a drink or two but teaching teenagers was painful at the best of times—never mind being hungover. So he made sure to go to bed early instead—9:30 was the time that he had gotten home so it was almost ten by the time he had jumped into bed. As usual before bed he made sure to check his phone, having the bad habit of scrolling through Facebook and Instagram before he would go to sleep. Just as well, before he was about to turn the light off he had gotten a phone call.
Morgana Pendragon.
Merlin frowned. Why would she be calling him? She loathed him. And while he didn't exactly loathe her, they weren't on the best terms. She wouldn't phone unless it was important so he cautiously accepted the call.
"Is this Merlin Emrys?" They asked. It clearly wasn't Morgana.
"Speaking" Merlin confirmed. "Is everything OK?".
"Morgana has been involved in an accident, alongside her brother Arthur, sister-in-law Guinevere and nephew Amhar".
"Shit" Merlin gasped. He put his phone onto speaker and chucked his phone onto the bed as he raced to his wardrobe and pulled out some jeans and a t-shirt. "Is everyone okay?".
"It's too early to say. Arthur and Guinevere are in critical condition, Morgana is being assessed for signs of concussions while Amhar seems rather well yet as he's young we are keeping an eye on him".
"Which hospital?" Merlin asked.
"Avalon city".
"Shit" Merlin swore. While the northern plains hospital was closer, it was less high tech and they often would be transferred to Avalon hospital in severe conditions as it was more advanced. This couldn't be good. "I'll be there in around an hour as I live in the Northern Plains".
"Okay" the nurse said. Merlin could hear Morgana shout in the background "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE NOT FUCKING MERLIN".
"Thank you" Merlin sighed. "If you could text me the ward numbers etcetera that would be tremendous".
"Why is Merlin coming why not Morgause?! For fucks sake" he heard Morgana screeching over the phone.
"Morgana" the nurse said calmly. "Morgause was snoring when she picked up". They then hung up and Merlin got into his car and drove off.
Morgana was absolutely fed up. She had been having trouble sleeping for the past few days, ever since the expedition. She knew why she was having trouble sleeping—a combination of never ending nausea from the tiny poppy seed sized sprog inside of her coupled with nightmares. She had no idea why she agreed to a friends with benefits arrangement with Alvarr—she had just found out that she was pregnant the day before and ended up spending most of the parents evening hiding a bucket between her legs as she tried to not vomit—rather hard given that some of the pupils were still wearing their sports kit. Arthur and Gwen's bickering didn't help either, she tried to focus on her phone yet found that she couldn't focus no matter what as she felt bile rising in her throat. She finally began to pay attention when there was a loud crash, she made sure to get herself and the baby out of the car and ran to safety, she remembered hearing a loud bang and seeing orange flames and trying to protect the babies—her own and Amhar yet she succumbed to the darkness.
By the time she woke up she had a shattering headache, the blinding lights above her didn't help in any way, felt almost as bad as she had when Merlin stabbed her those years ago and felt as though her insides had turned to mush. The world seemed to spin around her and she could barely keep her eyes open, barely.
Some nurse seemed to be on the to phone to Merlin, the prick.
"Ah! You're awake" the nurse smiled. "I'm Sophie, I'll be looking after you, how do you feel?".
Morgana gagged and covered her mouth, Sophie reacted fast and quickly got a bowl in time. "My baby. I need to check my baby".
"The baby's fine" Sophie reassured her with a smile. "He's in the children's A&E and is doing great. Babbling, smiling".
"No" Morgana shouted. "Not him. My baby. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant".
"Oh" Sophie's face fell. "Okay, well we'll go see what we shall do. Likely to do a urine test and we'll see if we can do an MRI to check for signs of concussion".
"Please" Morgana pleaded. "Just make sure the baby is OK".
"I'll talk to my colleagues and see what happens" Sophie smiled as she left the bed bay. She returned and explained the plan to her, that they would take a pregnancy test and take some blood tests to check the HCG levels. While the pregnancy test that she had taken the day before had a strong line, the line was quite a lot fainter. There, yet fainter all the same, which wasn't good as HCG levels were supposed to double every day. Morgana tried not to cry as the nurse took her blood, wincing at the pain in her arm, her stomach and her heart. She had asked about Arthur and Gwen. Yet they wouldn't give her an answer. Not until after they had done the blood tests. Morgause eventually answered her phone and rushed over too, her and Merlin walking around the "minors" until they found Morgana's bed.
"Sister!" Morgause asked. "Are you okay?".
Morgana shook her head and put her face in the bowl. "No. I feel terrible".
"Any tests been done?" Morgause asked. Morgana shook her head. The curtain opened and Sophie walked in.
"Are you all family?" Sophie asked.
"Shes my sister" Morgause said. "He's a...friend'".
"Okay, in that case as he isn't family I'm going to have to ask him to leave" Sophie said, glaring at Merlin until he left the bed bay. She closed the curtains and went over to Morgana. "I'm sorry to inform you, that Arthur and Guinevere have died".
"No" Morgana gasped as she clutched at her stomach. Her big brother. He couldn't be gone. He just couldn't. Arthur. Gwen. How?
"What!" Morgause gasped.
"I'm sorry" Sophie said. "Morgause, could you come with me to see Amhar? He'll need an adult and Merlin isn't a family member". Morgause nodded and followed Sophie as she lead her to the children's A&E.
"Please tell me it isn't true" Merlin cried. "Please tell me it isn't fucking true".
Morgana looked down to hide the tears as she nodded.
"No" Merlin gasped as he embraced Morgana. In that moment, they weren't enemies. They weren't Miss Pendragon and Mr Emrys who would shoot each other dirty looks during assembly or refectory duty.
"Move" Morgana grunted as she pushed him away. "You stink".
"Sorry" Merlin replied sarcastically, as Sophie returned.
"Morgana, are you feeling okay?" Sophie checked.
"Just this headache and stomach pain" Morgana replied as she lay back down. "It's agony".
"Stomach pain?" Sophie frowned. "On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?".
"Eleven" Morgana moaned.
"I'll see what I can do" she looked down to see Morgana had seeped through her trousers. Given that they were white, the blood was obvious. "I'll get you some sanitary pads and see what the early pregnancy consultant says".
Morgana hid her face and began to cry for the child she lost. She had only found out last week that she was pregnant yet even so, the moment a mother finds out that they are pregnant they begin to plan every detail of their child's life. What they'll name their child, how the child will grow up. Not just having a baby, having a toddler that grows up to that moody teenager. The biggest what if. Sophie ushered Merlin out while she helped Morgana put the sanitary towels on. Morgana had heard enough horror stories, knew enough about Gwen's miscarriages to know. She had probably lost the baby. Sophie told her that she would have to have another pregnancy test later to confirm, yet after talking to the consultant she probably had lost the baby.
"You're pregnant?" Merlin gasped as he re-entered the bed bay.
"Shut up, Merlin" Morgana hissed as she closed her eyes and hid under the blanket. "And no, probably not anymore".
"I'm sorry" Merlin said. "I truly am".
"Why are you here? Just leave".
"I'm staying here. I'm going to be here for you, no matter what. We can get through this, together".
"I need some ibuprofen, off you go" she waved him off.
Amhar was admitted to the children's ward overnight, while he did seem OK, given that he had diaphragm problems at birth and was so young they wanted to keep him in overnight. Morgause had to stay with him given that she was family, while Morgana was sent for an MRI to rule out concussions seeing as she had the symptoms—although ironically concussion symptoms and pregnancy symptoms were rather similar. Merlin waited and paced the cubicle as he waited for Morgana to return, hoping everything to be okay. Arthur and Gwen had made it clear that if anything were to happen to them that both Merlin and Morgana would raise the baby together, living in their house. They knew that they had a rocky relationship, yet both Merlin and Morgana reluctantly agreed given it was Arthur and Gwen's dying wishes.
Merlin held Morgana while they mourned their losses, staying at the hospital overnight as they confirmed the news and awaited the MRI given that A&E had no set visiting hours, while the children's ward was 8am-8pm. He knew that they would make it through this, they just had to. They'd come too far to go back.
A/N: *crawls out from under rock* I'm back! And this is where things really begin to take off, STAGES OF MIRTH was getting the basics and STAGES OF LOATHING was a bit of a fuller which ultimately lead up to this!