Trigger warning—miscarriage
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the kids, hospital, school and plot
Your best intentions may not be enough. I wonder if we're ever gonna get home tonight
8th May 2019
Morgana woke up in the morning to someone shoving a stick underneath her tongue and feeling some band tightening around her arm. She scowled as she felt whoever it was do this, and they left the lights on too. With some loud machine. Oh wait ... she looked around—an A&E cubicle. Merlin was asleep in the chair, snoring like the pig he was. Morgana grunted in protest, that stupid stick was still in her mouth.
"Just checking your vitals" Sophie whispered with a smile. "How are you feeling".
"Sick" Morgana replied, as Sophie ran to get a bowl and Merlin woke up.
"Looks like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed" Merlin joked.
"Oi!" Morgana protested. "I'll have you know I was in a car crash yesterday". She winced and grabbed at her stomach once more.
"Does it hurt?" Merlin asked. Morgana nodded. "Shuffle over then".
"Why?" Morgana asked with a frown as Merlin put one side down so he could get on the bed.
"Is this okay?" Merlin asked as he rubbed her stomach.
Morgana nodded and lay against the bed, now slightly upright. Sophie quickly returned with pain meds, asking Morgana what she wanted for breakfast.
"You should get something" she told Merlin.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Merlin asked with a frown.
"I'm in a hospital" Morgana raised her eyebrows. "I'll be fine".
Merlin left and Sophie returned with the early pregnancy consultant.
"And would you say you've had, any clots?" The consultant asked.
Morgana nodded as she looked down.
"We'll do some more bloods and see what happens then. I'm sorry". He left the room leaving Sophie with Morgana.
"On a good note" Sophie said as she turned around to give Morgana privacy as she changed. "The MRI came back clear. So hopefully we can get you released sooner in that case".
Morgana solemnly nodded as she got back in bed. "What about my miscarriage?".
"Well, I suppose that you just need to keep an eye on things and see how it is. We're likely to keep you in slightly longer as you have other complications what with the pregnancy and all. I'll go get those bloods sorted".
The HCG levels remained the same as yesterday, yet at Morgana's stage they were supposed to double every day so it didn't look good. Merlin was there as Morgana heard the news and he held her as she cried. They sat there for hours on end, in each other's embrace. Morgana left her breakfast on the tray, not wanting to eat. How could she want to eat? Her brother and sister-in-law were dead, she had just lost a baby and despite that "morning sickness" still seemed to remain (fortunately the doctor signed her off work for two weeks). Within Within twelve hours both her and Merlin's whole world had come crashing down, nothing would ever be the same again.
Nimeuh was rather unsure on how to prepare herself for the emergency assembly. Normally it wouldn't be until the afternoon yet today it would have to be in the morning. She had just had a lengthy phone call with Morgause who had just given her the news. Nimeuh knew that she looked a mess. Mascara running down her pale face, eyes bloodshot and her nose was like Rudolph's.
"It's terrible, isn't it?" Geoffrey sighed as he walked in.
"It is" Nimeuh agreed. "Yesterday we were talking to them like normal. And now they're gone".
"Did Morgause say about Morgana and the baby?".
"Morgana has signs of concussion so they kept her in overnight a bit longer and doctors have signed her off work for two weeks. The baby is doing fine but because of his birth problems they're keeping him in".
Geoffrey nodded and looked down. "I can't believe it".
"Me neither" Nimeuh agreed.
At first many of the students rejoiced at having first period cancelled. Even if there was some strange rumours going around about Mr Pendragon and Mrs Smith.
"I heard" Lucy insisted. "That Mrs Smith tried to kill Mr Pendragon cause he had a secret love child".
"Really?" Harriet frowned. "With who?".
"His ex girlfriend" Lucy replied.
"Apparently Mrs Smith had an affair with Mr DuLac".
"Can't say i blame her" Lucy shrugged.
"She's married to Mr Pendragon!" Harriet exclaimed. "And he is fit. Even with a beard".
The bell rang hushing everyone into silence, Mr Amata saying "stand" which everyone did as Nimeuh and Geoffrey walked in.
"Good morning" Nimeuh greeted. "No hymns, so you may sit". A sigh of relief echoed around the students.
"You might be wondering why we are having an assembly right now. Unfortunately I have conducted this assembly as an emergency assembly". Niemueh stopped and took a long breath.
"Last night, Mr Pendragon, Mrs Smith, Miss Pendragon, and Mr Pendragon and Mrs Smith's son Amhar were involved in a serious car accident".
Gasps echoed around the hall. How? Just yesterday they were there and normal, now they weren't.
"I regret to inform you" Nimeuh continued. "That Mr Pendragon and Mrs Smith have sadly passed away".
"NO!" One of the students screamed. Nimeuh watched sympathetically as teachers around the hall tried to calm down some of their students. Mrs Smith and Mr Pendragon had been popular teachers and there was no denying that.
"Miss Pendragon is currently in hospital and will be returning in two weeks time. The baby is fine too".
A brief sigh of relief was heard. Yet only brief.
"If anybody wishes to have a chat, my office doors are open. If you feel like it is too much for you to be in a certain lesson, that is okay, just please let your teacher know and you'll go to reception. If you have parental permission, you can go home if you wish" Nimeuh sighed one more. "Can you stand please". Everybody remained in silence watching as the woman clad in black retreated from the hall.
"How are they dead?" Harriet cried. "Just how?".
"Well that was a bit of a fucking shock" Lucy remarked.
"You don't say" Harriet agreed. "Fucking hell. And here I was thinking today couldn't get any worse".
"I haven't seen Mr Emrys" Lucy remarked. "Wonder where he is".
"Probably at the hospital with Miss Pendragon" Harriet shrugged.
"They hate each other" Lucy pointed out.
"I know" Harriet agreed. "Well, not much they can do. I'm going to go home".
"And abandon me?" Lucy scoffed.
"You'll live" Harriet shrugged. "I'm sure your mum'll let you".
"Once I tell her the circumstances I'm sure" Lucy agreed. "Fucking hell".
Morgause stayed overnight in the paediatric ward in a pull down bed next to Amhar's cot, Morgana had to remain in her A&E cubicle. Even though visiting hours were 24/7, she wanted to be alone and Merlin followed her wishes instead staying with the baby.
Amhar was sent for an MRI under sedation. Merlin wasn't allowed to go as he was not a parent and had to remain in the parents room of the hospital with a cup of tea while he FaceTimed Morgana (and she left him on pause, doing no one knows what). Amhar quickly came around from his sedation and happily sat up and played with the toys, chewing on many of them seeing as he was (probably) teething again. Merlin and Morgause shot each other worried looks yet the baby's MRI came back clear and he was soon released. While at first Merlin headed to A&E without Morgause, she soon came over with the baby.
"So we're supposed to take him home?" Morgause asked as she raised as eyebrow at the baby in Merlin's lap. "Well, not me. But you lot".
"We'll need a car seat" Morgana sighed.
"I'll go pick one up from Argos" Morgause shrugged. "Anyway I'm heading to the mortuary later to sort that stuff out".
"What about me?" Morgana frowned.
"What about you?" Morgause retorted.
"Cant I come?".
"No" Morgause decided. "You were bad enough when dad died, fainting and throwing up all over the place. It's for the best".
"She's right" Merlin added. "From what I heard anyway, it's terrible. Arthur's my best friend and I'm not going to go".
"Leave it to me" Morgause winked. "I can handle this stuff. Anyway, I need to click and collect on a car seat seeing as Argos is only five minutes away and it's the law. Apparently you can't use a car seat after it's been in a crash. A bit of help, please".
They all loaded up the car seat selection on the website and began to scroll.
"Aha!" Morgause declared as she clicked on the cheap test thing she found. "Plastic car seat group 2/3, £9".
"Amhar looks a bit, well" Merlin grimaced. "Young for that".
"Won't he still need a baby one anyway?" Morgana frowned.
"It's cheap, it'll do" Morgause shrugged.
"No it won't" Morgana snorted as she read the description. "Ages four plus. Keep looking".
"Come on, we have to get this one" Morgause insisted. "It's a superman one".
"Morgause, he's seven months old" Merlin exclaimed. "It's four plus anyway".
"It's a superman one" Morgause declared.
"He is seven months old" Morgana scowled. "Keep looking".
"Ooh! This one!" Morgause declared at a frozen booster.
"He" Morgana screeched. "Is not having a frozen booster!".
"I'll leave the parenting to you two then" Morgause decided as she leant into her chair and passed Morgana her phone. "You decide".
Merlin and Morgana seemed rather good at their parenting thing so far, choosing a Maxi Cosi Citi and making Morgause go pick it up. The doctor decided that Morgana was well enough to be released and once Morgause returned with the car seat and wished Merlin and Morgana luck before going over to the mortuary and bereavement area. Merlin took Morgana's bag while Morgana carried the baby and went towards the car.
Morgana looked around painfully. Pregnant women holding onto their bumps as they beamed and left the hospital, new mothers cradling their newborn child as they carried the car seat out of the hospital. Granted, she was carrying the car seat out of the hospital but it wasn't her baby. Her baby was gone. Gone. Forever.
She began to feel overwhelmed and set Amhar down and threw up into the bushes, Merlin awkwardly patting her back and rummaging through her bag for some tissues and some water.
"Do you think you should go back in?" Merlin asked with a frown.
"I'm fine" Morgana insisted as she looked away from him and back in the direction of the maternity unit. "Come on then, let's go".
The quickly found Merlin's car only to be met with an array of problems. Merlin had a car parked close either side of him so had to temporarily move to the parent and child spaces so that they could open the door wide enough to get the car seat in. Then neither of them could figure out how to install the car seat while some other parents stood grimacing at them as they easily slotted their Bugaboo or Mesa's into the isofix base while Merlin and Morgana swore at each other. After twenty minutes of arguing, several videos and a meltdown from Amhar later they had finally gotten onto the A48 as they went back to the house.
Given that she was Arthur's sister, Morgana already had a key and they planned to have another one cut for Merlin. Entering the house was strange. Everything was how it should be, yet it felt strange with no Arthur or Gwen.
Morgause sighed as she finally found the bereavement centre. Seeing as everything in the hospital was connected (unlike the Northern Plains hospital) she thought it wouldn't be too hard to find it. Except it turned out that it could only be accessed from outdoors, so she had to trudge around to the right entrance at the back of the hospital (after she drove, of course. She wasn't going to walk all the way back to the main car park).
She made her way up the front desk and leant on it waiting for the receptionist to answer.
"Hi, how can I help?".
"Sister of Arthur and Gwen Pendragon".
"The doctor will be with you shortly".
Morgause was taken into a bereavement suite and given a talking over by the doctor. After the crash, Gwen and Arthur had grave and life limiting injuries that may have been cured yet they were unsure. After the car blew up in flames, they died immediately and were pronounced dead on the scene of the crash. Morgause decided to see their bodies and was horrified by what she saw.
While before she had seen bodies after death—Gorlois, her stepmother—none were as bad as these. Arthur and Gwen had grave injuries before the car blew up, let alone after. Morgause briefly viewed them before talking with the coroner and beginning to register the death. There are some things in life that you just know you have to do—burying a parent, breaking up with someone. Burying Arthur and Gwen wasn't on Morgause's list.
"Traffic again" Merlin sighed. The A48 always had traffic. The red traffic lights flashed, police sirens blared. Another car crash, it appeared.
"Do you think we'll ever get home?" Morgana asked as she unclipped her seatbelt. It was digging into her stomach which only intensified the pain.
"We will" Merlin replied. "Eventually. Things are rocky right now, but one day it'll be okay".
"Pull over" Morgana grunted. "I feel sick and I think I need to change my pad".
Blood. River and rivers of blood. The blood wouldn't stop. Neither would the pain. In the lay-by on the side of the road Morgana had never felt so humiliated. Her ex boyfriend had to look after her while she had a miscarriage with her new boyfriend, who she decided she now hated seeing as he got her knocked up. But she wanted the baby, she did. She knew it inevitable yet nothing could prepare her for that moment. She collapsed into Merlin's arms as she sobbed.