Chapter 25

(God, everything about this is wrong.)

That thought kept echoing through Anya's mind as she serviced her gear, back down in the cargo bay after making sure that Kaidan was stable. It was a good distraction, short term, and it made her feel more in control. She wondered for a moment if that were another reason Garrus had always been so anal about upkeep, then her mind slid to wondering if he was doing the same thing she was right now, trying to keep his hands busy and his mind quiet.

(He's gotta be okay.)

She closed her eyes for a beat, taking a deep breath, before opening them again and turning back to her work. She started with her weapon, noting that her movements were still a little jerky, her hands no longer as steady as they were half an hour before.

(Fucking adrenaline crash.)

Her omni-tool beeped, and she saw that it was a message from Liara.

I'm nearly settled. You should come see my set up.

Anya wondered if her friend knew where Garrus might be, then immediately chastised herself. Liara wasn't a tool to get back to the turian's arms, no matter how much she might miss him.

I'll be up soon.

She kept cleaning her M-27, ignoring the feeling of eyes on her back. She didn't know if it was Vega or Cortez staring, and she didn't really care which one was gawking. If someone had something to say to her, they would do it on their own time. She heard movement behind her, and she reminded herself not to groan.

"Commander?"

"Yes, lieutenant?"

"I can take care of that for you, if you'd like." She felt her eyebrows raise, and she turned. He hadn't been this friendly before their fight, and it still felt odd.

"That's...not necessary."

"Hey, I can clean a Scimitar as good as anyone else." She snorted at that.

"I have faith in your ability to strip a weapon, Vega. I just...need to stay busy right now."

"You're worried about him?"

Anya's eyes widened. There's no way he could have known. "How did you…?"

"The way the major spoke about you back there made it sound like you two were...close."

"Oh." He was talking about Kaidan. "We were, but that was a long time ago. He was part of the original Normandy crew, you know."

"Yeah, I think we both know what I mean."

"Alright, look, it's…" Anya ran a hand through her hair. "Things have changed. Major Alenko and I haven't been on great terms, even before I turned myself in."

"What happened?"

"I died, lieutenant. It was probably on the news. I haven't checked. I don't think I actually want to know." She turned back to her gun with a sigh.

"So, you aren't worried about the major at all?"

"I am, but right now, I have a lot of other things jockeying for mental real estate. Kaidan's strong. He's stable, and he's going to be fine once we get him to Huerta."

"Kaidan, huh?"

"What of it, James?" She turned to face him, arms crossed.

"Oooh, touchy, okay, okay." He put his hands up briefly.

"I just don't know what you're getting at."

"It's just...first names are very personal. I don't think I've ever heard the major call you by yours."

"He wouldn't," Anya agreed with a snort. "Things are a little different on my ship, though. My field teams run a lot of high risk missions together, and we get pretty comfortable with each other."

"Still, though, I can't imagine anyone calling you by yours."

"I can honestly count on one hand the number of people who don't dodge my first name like it's a swear word and they're in church," she joked.

"I don't think I could do it. Call you by your given name." He shook his head and she shrugged.

"Call me something else, then."

"I just might." After a beat, he asked, "So, this whole thing with Alenko, is it going to be a problem?"

"There's no...thing with the major. Not anymore. Now I just want to get him to a hospital so he can heal up. He's a good marine, and we're going to need all hands for this. I just want Earth to be safe again. Well, normal Earth safe, anyway."

"Right, you grew up on Earth, too, didn't you?"

"I did. East coast, mostly. Did a lot of city hopping when I was younger. We can swap stories some time."

"I'd like that, commander."

"Anyway, I'm going to get back to it. My shotgun won't clean itself, unfortunately."

"Ugh, you figure out how to make that happen, you let me know, alright?"

"Absolutely," she agreed amiably.

"I'm surprised you go with the Scimitar, honestly, the way you dart into the thick of things."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, honestly, I love most shotguns, but the twenty-seven is a little on the softer side of things when it comes to raw damage. You get me a twenty-two though?" She made an approving noise. "Hands down, favorite."

"No love for the eleven?"

"Hell no, the Wraith is basically a poor man's Eviscerator anyway."

"So you're a gun snob, is what I'm hearing."

"No, I just think any weapon that has to be reloaded every other shot is just a pretty waste of time. Unless it fires rockets or black holes. Those get a pass for just being badass."

"Alright, I get it. What do you think for assault rifles?"

"The eight is a classic, but I'm going with the seven."

"Lancer over Avenger, I like it. What do you think of the Vindicator?"

"Ah, honestly, really good gun, but I don't care for burst fire."

"What? But you waste so much less ammo that way."

"Yeah, but look at how I fight. Barrier, charge, nova, now I'm in the middle of shit with no shield, and if something or someone doesn't go down with nova, I'm not waiting to see if three rounds are enough, I'm unloading until I see knees buckle. That's why I like my shotguns so much. Even krogan stagger after taking an Eviscerator round to the face, which gives me time to figure out if they need another."

"Alright, fair point. How often do they need another, though?"

"Often enough. When in doubt, double tap."

"Amen to that." He started to turn away, but hesitated.

"Something else on your mind, lieutenant?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Out with it, then. I can only procrastinate on doing my chores for so long."

"It's just...back on Earth, I...I know that while you were being investigated, I was...I just wanted to make sure you and me were good. I don't want any leftover hard feelings when I was just following orders."

She rubbed her eyes. "What would there even be hard feelings for, James? You were respectful and professional."

"I just know I would have been resentful as hell at everything and everybody if I were in your shoes."

"The only people I resent are the members of the tribunal who were determined to drag out the investigation rather than get us prepared for this war. You and me? There's no bad blood on my side. If you say we're good, then we're good. You'll be going on field trips with me and catching decent time for resting in between missions."

"Alright, well, then...we're good."

"I'm glad to hear it, James. Anyway, I'm going to get back to it. Don't plan to be at the Citadel long. I'm sure once we meet with the Council, we're going to have a lot of work to do."

"Yes, ma'am!" He snapped to attention, saluting her in earnest, and she snorted, shaking her head.

"Dismissed, lieutenant."