Chapter 34

Anya was curled up at Garrus's side when his omni-tool went off. He checked the message before letting out an annoyed noise.

"What is it?"

"Primarch got some more reports in."

"Please tell me he isn't dragging you out of bed for another goddamn meeting," she grumbled.

"Then I can't explain why I have to go now." He nudged her temple with his own before sliding out of bed, and she had to fight not to roll her eyes.

"I'm starting to feel like the other woman here," she complained, pulling a face.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Look, I'll talk to him, okay?" He started pulling out clothes.

"And what are you going to tell him?"

"That unless it's an emergency, I need to have time to eat and rest between meetings. I mean, it's nearly eleven, and this will be our fifth meeting today, third unscheduled. I can't get any notable amount of work or sleep like this." He was dressing as he spoke, and she watched as he moved.

"I know I'm cutting into your time, too." She felt a little guilt at that, and she wondered if she was making things harder for him.

"Yeah, but I want time carved out just for me and you, Anya. I don't want time stolen for a meeting where we go over a few after action reports and confirm that we're proceeding as planned. Those meetings aren't unnecessary, but they also aren't urgent," he pointed out.

"Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry for bitching. I know that he's asking for your thoughts on a lot of important stuff, it's not…"

"Hey, stop." He made his way around to her side of the bed, sitting on the edge. He gently took her face in his hands, and pressed his mouth to hers for a beat. When their kiss ended, he murmured, "You are important, too."

"Right," she managed, her heart rate picking up, and she swallowed. "Do...do you want me to wait up for you?"

"Ah...I don't know. You should get some rest, too, sweetie. I don't know how long this is going to be dragged out for, and I know you're going to be tired soon," he said softly, and she leaned to touch her forehead to his.

"Well, I could always just read up on Sur'kesh some more. It won't hurt anything."

"Alright, how's this...wait for me for...half an hour. If I'm not back by then, try to get some sleep," he offered, and she smiled.

"Okay, honey. Try to come back soon, though. This bed gets awfully cold without you," she teased, and he laughed.

"I'm more than just a heat rock," he pretended to grouse.

"Of course you are, honey. You're a smart...sexy...strong...heat rock. You're the best heat rock I've had in my entire life." He pulled away with a snort.

"So...definitely a better heat rock than Alenko?" he joked, and she laughed.

"Absolutely. Why?"

"I just...know you've been visiting him at Huerta. Making sure I don't need to step my game up." He was avoiding her gaze now, and she wanted to swear.

"It's not like that."

"That's all I need to hear."

"Well, it's not all you're going to hear. The truth is...I feel pretty guilty about Kaidan getting hurt. Maybe if I'd been a little faster, a little better, things wouldn't have happened the way they did. I absolutely do not want to get back with him, though. The relationship wasn't terrible, but it was stressful, and I never got that...feeling of connection with him. Not like I do with you. He wanted us to keep things at arms' length so things wouldn't change, but that meant...even when I was with him, I wasn't, you know? Being with him meant being alone, even when he was in the room. My relationship with you is...I don't even have the words, honey. I feel so close to you, and the combination of intimacy, and communication, and everything else is...just perfect for me. You feel like home. Kaidan felt like the tiny apartment you settle for when you're straight out of college."

"Oh." He seemed more willing to meet her gaze now, and she thought she saw a flicker of relief in his expression. "Well, I'm not...upset that I heard more."

"Good. And you say the word, I will stop visiting him in a heartbeat if that's what you want," she offered sincerely.

"No, it's fine, I just...wanted to hear from you that I didn't have anything to worry about. That's all. Besides, I can't imagine he's getting a lot of visitors. It might be doing him some good," he said, waving it off.

"You have nothing to worry about. Now go. Have your late night meeting with the Primarch, and hurry back."

"Okay. And...I'll be home as quickly as I can," the way he emphasized the word made her heart skip a beat.

"Good," she whispered, and he finally got up, and it took her a few long moments to stop being flustered when he left. She roused herself enough to leave the bed, wrapping herself in a dark robe before making her way over to her desk. It took her a moment to find the file on Sur'kesh, but when she did, she was quick to start skimming it, pulling snippets from it often to add to her own notes as she went.

She started when the door opened, but she smiled when he came through the door. "Hey, honey."

"You're...still up."

"Yeah. I guess so." She glanced at the datapad she'd been working from, realizing that the minutes working had slid by so quickly that it was nearly midnight. She ruefully admitted, "I think I lost track of time again.

"Right."

Anya wondered at the air of tension that practically clung to him, every line of his body seeming to border on rigidity. Even his expression seemed guarded, and she felt herself start worrying about whatever the Primarch had discussed with him.

"Everything okay, honey?" she asked gently.

"Fine." Even his voice sounded tight, and she stood, concern in her face.

"You don't seem fine. C'mon, Garrus, just talk to me. Maybe I can help."

"I don't need...I just...I need a minute. I'm not...ready to talk yet." He stepped around her and headed into the bathroom, and Anya didn't follow. Crowding him when he seemed to want space would probably just cause him more stress. Instead, she bookmarked where she had stopped reading her datapad, then she made her way to the bed. She shucked her robe and crawled in between the covers.

She had started to drowse by the time Garrus came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He slowly made his way to the bed, then sat down on the edge on Anya's side. He seemed more apprehensive than irritated now, and she reached out to touch him, her fingertips ghosting up between the plates on his back.

"Are you coming to bed?" she asked, smiling gently at him.

"We need to talk," he said stiffly.

"Oof, making me nervous, here." She knew the joke fell flat.

"Well, we do. I don't know why that would make you nervous."

"Because among humans that particular combination of words normally means the start of a conversation about breaking up."

"I...didn't know that. I mean, I don't...want this to be a break up. I just...you might want to after I…" He swallowed.

"What is it, honey? It can't be that bad."

"I...the Primarch wants me to use my...my relationship with you to try to...make you work more quickly towards helping our forces," he managed haltingly. "It was...he made it sound like it was a choice between you and my people."

"He...expects you to be a honeypot?" Anya was incredulous.

"I understand if you...don't want to be with me after finding that out." He wasn't looking at her now, and Anya felt her stomach twist.

"Garrus, I'm not breaking up with you just because the Primarch was being an ass. I just wish you'd told me what he said before you had time to get so wound up."

"I told him I'd do it. He thinks that I…"

"It's fine if you need to tell him what he wants to hear. I know he's got you feeling like you're between a rock and a hard place. Just ask yourself, though, why wouldn't I work towards helping your people as quickly as possible? My people can't be helped until yours are back on their feet. I promise you, I am doing, and I will do, everything I possibly can to help, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he said with a nod. He still seemed tense, but at least now he was leaning slightly into her touch.

"What else is bothering you?"

"I...I just feel...I feel like I'm prioritizing you over my people just by telling you what the Primarch said. I never...realized exactly how bad I was at being a turian," he answered, shoulders slumping. "I mean, I know I joke about it sometimes, but this is…"

"That's not what this means. You handled this situation in a way that is conducive to your people getting help and you maintained your girlfriend's trust in you at the same time. You aren't a bad person for doing that, and you definitely aren't a bad turian for it, either." She sat up, not caring at the way the blanket fell.

"Do you really think that?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"I do." Without warning, he turned to face her, and wrapped his arms around her. She slid her own around his neck, and the pair stayed entwined for a few long moments. When she finally pulled back, she murmured, "Are you ready to come to bed?"

He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers. "I think I am. Thank you, Anya. I was...I needed that."

"I'm glad I was able to help." She squeezed him once more before she pulled back. "How'd he figure out that we were together, though?"

"Oh, ah...he kind of...smelled you. On me," he clarified with a wince. "I should have showered before I headed down to see him. I didn't...I wasn't thinking. We pick up...scents pretty easily."

"I do not stink." She pretended to glare at him.

"I never said you do! It's just...everyone has very...distinctive…" He faltered until her expression slipped. "Damn it, Anya. That wasn't funny."

"It was a little funny," she teased.

"It...might have been a little funny, but it was terribly timed," he conceded, one mandible twitching upward for a moment.

"Mmm, fair enough. I'm sorry. What do I even smell like, though?"

"Are...you messing with me again?"

"No. Why?"

"Okay, well, what does...an apple smell like to you?"

"I mean, it's an apple. It smells like an apple, it wouldn't make sense for it to...oh. I smell like me, which you aren't going to be able to describe well, because it's unique to me. Is that where you were going with that?"

"Pretty much."

"Alright, I get it. Dumb question. Anyway, it's late as hell."

"Mmm, it really is. If we don't go to sleep soon, there won't be a point in going to bed." He stood and made his way around to his side of the bed, dropping his towel before sliding in and under the comforter. In moments, she was letting him tug her back against him, and she savored the additional warmth as his arm wrapped around her waist. He murmured into her hair, "Good night, Anya."

"Good night, Garrus."