The dull white noise of the headspace seemed to echo in his head.
Vito sat on the unsavory-colored couch that the headspace formed for him to sit on. Things seemed to shift and move so often in here that he was really glad to have a place to sit. He needed to think for a little while anyways.
He wasn't SUPPOSED to front today. He wasn't really supposed to front EVER honestly, Mike would prefer if he was the only one fronting at all times. The headspace was usually where everyone else got to stay. It was boring, and bleak, and Vito couldn't understand why everything inside of it looked like some sort of fleshy prison. He hadn't been happy for a very long time with sitting and doing nothing. Playing a game with Chester or Svetlana or even Manitoba wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to be outside. He wanted to wear cool clothes and meet cute girls. He wanted to sneak out of the house and underage drink at some dumb highschool party. In the end, he supposed, he just wanted a normal teenage life of his own.
But to his surprise, he started fronting during gym one day. He couldn't help but be ecstatic at the prospect of the rest of the day. He had everything planned out.
First, he was going to get lunch in the cafeteria. Instead of the gross milk Mike usually drank, he wanted a nice juice box. And maybe a salad! The greasy food didn't do his physique any favors.. And after that? He'd sit in all the other classes and think about choreographing a new dance. That was always fun! And after? When they got home to their foster parents? He would actually DO the dance.
Yep. His day was perfectly full, and he was happy about it too. Maybe the only full day he'd have for a while. Until. He wasn't fronting anymore.
All he did was enter the locker room. He wiped his face onto a dry, clean towel, clearing the sweat from exercise off of himself. Vito tried to put the towel into his bag, but a hand touched his shoulder.
The last thing he remembered was someone trying to talk to him.
This. Was incredibly frustrating.
He couldn't have been angrier. The one shot he had at having a day all to himself, a semblance of a normal life where he did what he wanted all day, got TAKEN from him. And he couldn't even remember how or why. And when he did come to, and stopped feeling so.. Spacey? There Mal was, sitting in their room scrolling on their phone.
Vito groaned, pushing his head farther into his hands in the inner world. Of course Mal would take away something he was excited about. Of COURSE Mal would be evil enough to do something like that. He felt bitter. He felt betrayed.
And yet.
As soon as Mal noticed Vito was somewhat conscious again, he attempted to positively trigger Mike out. That's what he was doing on the phone anyways, scrolling through Mike's saved videos on youtube to see what Mike would jump at. Eventually he found one on Zoey's youtube channel, and before he could even figure out what it was about, Mike had already taken front.
Mal groaned, rubbing his temple in the inner world to try and help the headache he felt. That was way faster than he thought. He wasn't ready for that sort of switch. He blinked slowly, trying to wait for the pain to subside. But to his surprise, sitting right in front of him was Vito.
Mal swallowed.
"Hey.." He said slowly, wishing he could hide inside the body's hoodie again. But alas, he couldn't. And he wasn't wearing one in the inner. He felt awkward and exposed without it, but he just had to readjust. He couldn't be in front right now, or at least, he shouldn't be.
Vito looked upwards, his face twisting into a grimace. "Go away."
"What, you got a problem with me?" Mal chuckled. His voice always sounded sort of raspy and dark, didn't it? It came off meaner than he had hoped anyways. He shut his lips tightly, trying to watch Vito's expression.
"Yeah, yknow what? I do got a fuckin' problem with youse." Vito sat up normally, crossing his arms and staring straight into Mal's eyes. That wasn't something the system did a lot of. Not usually, anyways. It definitely meant something was wrong.
"Why, because you're mad that I didn't get your juice box? You can just have one next time you-"
"There won't BE a next time, Mal, Dammit!" Vito stood up, lifting himself off of the oddly textured couch and balling his hands into fists, still leaving them crossed. The strange fleshy couch dissipated behind him. No one paid any mind.
"Why CAN'T there be a next time? We're working with Mike to get everyone some sort of hour of their own a week, or at LEAST a month! You can just do it then.." Mal couldn't deal with the eye contact, looking down and grumbling. He looked like a teenager getting scolded by his father. He almost was, if it weren't for being the same age as Vito.
"Why do you hate me so much?!" Vito's tone was harsh. His voice was getting louder. "Why did you take away the ONE thing I was excited for, when I haven't been happy for WEEKS?!"
Mal's face looked empty. Whatever he was doing before, "pretending" to have real feelings, or playing some sort of role, stopped. He wouldn't look Vito in the eyes, but he didn't look like he was looking at anything either. He locked his gaze on the ground.
"TELL Me, Mal! I'm DYIN ta know!" Vito raised his voice even louder. "WHY do you HATE me?!" Vito uncrossed his arms, putting them by his sides. He was fuming. He was practically shaking. The tears in his eyes that threatened to spill made him a little less threatening though.. Only by a little. Mal knew deep down he could take Vito. He knew he was physically the strongest. But he wouldn't do that. Not for real.
Mal huffed. "I don't even hate you. That would imply I cared."
"Then WHY did you do it, Mal?! Why did you take this away from me?"
Mal shook his head, turning around to walk away.
"Do you LIKE it? Do you like it when we're mad at you? I know you like it a little bit! Thats why youser' always doin stupid shit to annoy us. Is this what that was? Some stupid prank?"
Mal didn't answer. He kept walking forwards. He just wanted to get away, for one second. He didn't want to have anyone angry at him. Not right now. Sometimes, it was fun. But definitely not right not.
"Y...YKNOW WHAT?!" Vito yelled at the top of his headspace-form lungs.
"EVEN IF YOU DON'T HATE ME? I HATE YOU."
He would have stopped. He would have done many things.
Mal would have punched Vito in the face, trying to knock him out cold. Mal would have screamed and stomped his foot, yelling that he still didn't care. Mal would have flipped him off.. Or kicked him or SOMETHING.
But he didn't. Not when the day played through his mind like a broken record.
The damned bullies at school were always an issue. Whether anyone could remember it besides him or not. And he knew Vito held some of those memories, somewhere deep down. But he knew he had most of them.
He wished Vito could remember the taunting that happened that day in the locker rooms, the swing that was taken at Mal's expense as he fronted to protect his headmates. The chase down the hall without anything but gym shorts on. The nerve wracking ticking of the guy in the next stall's wristwatch as Mal waited for the bell to ring. For those guys to go to class.
Mal wished Vito noticed the bruise on the body's arm. Or how hungry the body was after skipping lunch that day. He wished he noticed that the second they got home and settled, he tried to switch out. To step away.
He did wish that, didn't he?
No. No he didn't.
He wanted his headmates to be safe. For them to not have to think about the terrible things that happened to everyone anymore. To protect Vito from those guys at school, to keep Mike in the dark about the trauma Mal kept all to himself. He wanted them happy.
If he had to play the bad guy sometimes, to get people to keep their distance? Or to get bullies to fuck off? To escape the abuse they endured as a child, and to call the authorities? If he had to play the bad guy to win the hellish games on the island, or to not get messed with in juvy after burning down the house they used to live in?
If he had to lie to his headmates sometimes. About how deeply he cared about them.
He'd do it.
He didn't hate Vito. Not in the slightest.
That would imply he hadn't been trying to protect him this entire time.