Chapter 5
As if they were children caught with their hands inside the cookie jar, the old man, Jun, and Zen remained quiet. Rei didn't speak, and if anything, that made everyone all the more fidgety.
"Rei-chan, you're home," the old man offered feebly.
A shiver went over the old man's body, signalling Jun that Rei had probably cast her violet gaze on her grandfather.
It took another moment before the woman to finally open her mouth.
"You're letting them move in," Rei said, her voice as cold and indifferent as Jun had thought it would be.
"They … had no place to live," the old man said, and Jun's eyes snapped towards him.
A derisive snort left Rei's lips.
Jun heard the door closing behind him, but before it closed completely, Rei's voice floated towards them again.
"I hope you know what you're doing."
The old man stared at the door disgruntled. He looked at Zen and Jun before waving his hand at them.
"She'll come around," he said optimistically.
He was about to go back to folding Zen's clothes when he appeared to think of something. Jumping up from his spot with agile moves that would make most young people envious, he rushed out the door.
"I'll be right back!"
After he disappeared from sight, Zen and Jun shared a look.
"Should … we go help?" Zen asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jun mulled over the question before replying, "Not sure."
If the old man had something to talk about with Rei, Jun doubted the latter would want strangers, whom she obviously didn't harbor too many positive feelings towards, to hear what they were talking about.
"You didn't see the look on Rei-san's face though. I wouldn't want to be at the end of her fury," Zen said.
"I could imagine it," Jun said with a humorless laugh.
A small frown appeared on his face, wondering how Zen knew Rei's name, but then he brushed it off. Perhaps the old man had mentioned it in passing.
Jun's thoughts then went back to what the old man had run after Rei about. He hoped that it wasn't because of Zen and Jun living there, but if it were …
Jun stood up, so suddenly that it startled Zen.
"I think I'll go and make sure everything's alright," Jun said.
Zen gave him a nod before standing up, too. "I'll go with you. I mean … if she doesn't want us here, we haven't told the landlord anything yet, and we can still move back to our apartment."
Jun smiled at him. "Thanks."
Zen rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"
Giving Jun a whack on the back of his head, Zen walked forward in the direction towards Jun's room. Jun was about to ask him how he knew where Rei and her grandfather had gone before his eyes landed on the doors to Zen's room. With the paper doors, of course Zen would've seen the direction they had gone.
Not to mention the fact that they could already hear voices speaking in a small distance. Jun had thought that it was from his room, but when they got closer, he realized that the sounds were coming from the room on the left side of his.
"—think you're taking her? You can't keep doing this to the poor girl!" the old man was saying.
Zen placed a finger on his lips, motioning for Jun to keep silent as they slowed down their footsteps to avoid letting the people inside hear them. They'd even purposely stayed in front of Jun's room, so that they wouldn't see shadows on the paper doors. Thankfully, the old man had left the door of the other room open, so they could hear quite clearly what was being said.
Not that the old man was keeping his voice down anyway.
"She needs her family. You can't keep—"
"I am her family," Rei said.
"Not anymore," the old man retorted. In a gentler voice, he continued, "You can't keep clinging on to your previous life like this, Rei-chan."
"... Jii-san—"
"You're not the only person in this temple who has divination powers, Rei-chan. Where did you think you inherited them from?" the old man asked.
Rei either didn't answer or said something too softly for Zen and Jun to hear.
"You have to let go of what happened in your previous life," the old man said.
It took a short moment before Rei spoke, "You don't know what you're asking me to do, Jii-san."
"You're afraid," the old man said.
"I'm not—"
"Yes, you are. Not for the reason most people think you are, but fear is fear. Different reasons for it doesn't make the fear itself any different, and you are running away because of your fear."
"I'm not running away," Rei denied.
"Then why are you hiding away from him?"
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are," the old man said. "You're afraid that the same thing will happen again. You think that if you stay away from him, things wouldn't repeat themselves—"
"You don't understand, Jii-san—"
"He's my student, Rei-chan," the old man said, his voice firm. "I know him, probably better than you do. He'll do fine this lifetime."
Rei paused before saying, "You don't know that for sure."
"I don't know for sure, but I trust him," the old man said. "Don't you realize that things are different now? He could've climbed the ranks in the rebellion, but he didn't. None of them did. Or at least not willingly."
"Jii-san … how much do you know?" Rei asked.
"Enough to know what is bothering you," the old man said. "They joined the rebellion before knowing the four of you. What makes you think the outcome would be the same?"
At that moment, Jun was certain they were talking about him and Zen. His eyes flickered over to Zen, wondering how he was taking this. Zen's eyes were slightly narrowed, and he was twirling one lock of hair between his fingers, as he was prone to do whenever he was thinking or scheming about something. Other than that, he didn't seem at all surprised at what they had heard.
For some time, they didn't hear Rei answer. Just when they'd thought the conversation had stopped, the old man spoke again.
"You can't continue blaming yourself for everything that happened, Rei-chan. Everything happened and happens for a reason. Move on from the past. You can't possibly have forgotten my past, have you?"
"Jii-san, that's different," Rei objected. "That … monster brought you over to their side using his face. They've used your weakness against you." She paused before asking, "What if they do it again? What if I can't protect you again?"
"Silly girl," the old man said affectionately. "You're much stronger than you were before, and do you have so little faith in your Queen?"
"Of course not," Rei replied.
"Then why are you so worried?"
"... Because … I don't want to lose anyone again," Rei finally confessed.
"And you won't," the old man reassured her. "Like I've said, you're stronger now. He's stronger now. And I have both of you protecting me from now on. Why are you still worried?"
Rei didn't answer him.
"It's almost time for dinner," the old man said.
He then proceeded to ask Rei the dishes they should prepare for the night as Jun and Zen snuck back to Zen's room.
"That … was quite a lot of information," Zen said.
Jun nodded numbly, his head still reeling from what they heard. They were left with more questions than answers, and for some reason, Jun couldn't take his mind off the "she" Rei had been talking about before the topic was changed.
He had a gut feeling that he should find out who that "she" was.
"I'll be right back," Jun said, disrupting whatever Zen was saying as he stood up and stumbled out of the room once more.
The world seemed to stop spinning even before he reached his destination, the room next to his new room. He felt his breath caught in his throat when he saw a small familiar figure skipping towards the room where Rei and the old man had been talking in. He didn't know how he managed to continue walking, but somehow he soon found himself standing there, looking inside the room. Rei and the old man were nowhere in sight, but even if they were, Jun suspected that he wouldn't have noticed them.
"Yua …" he called out.
The little girl stopped in her steps. A split second later, she whirled around. Her eyes widened when she looked at Jun.
"Onii-chan!" she exclaimed as she ran towards him.
He crouched down just in time to catch her flying body into his arms as tears welled up in his eyes.
"Yua, I've been looking everywhere for you," he whispered.
"Rei onee-chan! I found my onii-chan!" Yua said.
Hearing that, Jun froze before he released Yua and turned his head around to look at the woman. The old man was standing a small distance away, looking at Jun and Yua with a kind smile.
Jun didn't know what to say. To be honest, he wasn't certain how he felt and how he should feel. Was he angry? Perhaps. It appeared that Rei knew that he was Yua's older brother, and he was correct in assuming that she had connections to the search department. Ami was either her friend or working under her friend.
However, Yua was safe and sound, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Yua smile so happily. For those reasons, he felt gratitude on top of relief.
"Rei onee-chan!" Yua called out again.
Rei's violet eyes lingered on Jun's face for a short moment before they flickered over to Yua. Gentleness and warmth appeared on her face.
That's a first.
No, it isn't. She's like this with the Sailor Senshi and her Princess, too, though it was rare.
He shook those thoughts from his head. Just because everything was adding up, he couldn't possibly start believing that those nightmares were real. Besides, he didn't even know how Sailor Mars acted around the other Senshi and around their Princess.
Liar.
"Yes, Yua-chan?" Rei asked.
"He's my onii-chan!" Yua introduced with her eyes sparkling. "Onii-chan! Say 'hi' to Rei onee-chan!"
Jun lowered his eyes and looked at the floor for a short moment before he stood up straight and looked at Rei again. "We need to talk."
It felt like it took forever, but finally, Rei gave him a nearly imperceptible nod. Yua looked at the two of them with curiosity and confusion written all over her little face.
"Yua-chan!" the old man called out, successfully attracting the little girl's attention. "Come tell Jii-san about your day at school. I've bought something sweet for you."
A part of Jun wanted to keep Yua there, if only to reassure himself that he'd finally found his sister. However, he knew it wasn't wise to keep her there for the conversation he was about to have with Rei.
"What is it? What is it?" the girl asked as she ran over to the old man.
"Hm … it's a secret, and you'll have to tell me your day before I show them to you," the old man said.
"Aww! But I want to see them now!"
"Jii-san, don't let her eat too many sweets tonight. She smuggled two bags of candy to school today," Rei said.
"I didn't eat all of it," Yua protested, the corners of her lips drooping downwards. "I shared them with friends at school."
Rei's eyes softened. "Fine, but don't give her too much."
Yua cheered before the old man led her away. Even until they were out of sight, Jun could still hear Yua's happy voice, telling the old man about her day.
And then, there was silence. Except for the occasional caw of the crows and the soft rustling of wind brushing through leaves, no other noise interrupted them. Jun contemplated on how to begin his words, and it took a moment before he spoke.
"Our parents died when Yua was still a baby," he said softly, looking in the direction the girl had gone with the old man. "Our mother died because of an illness, and our father … took his own life."
"The records say that it was a car accident," Rei interrupted.
Ah. So she'd seen the records as he had expected. Well, at least the gloves were off now, and he didn't need to beat around the bushes.
"A car accident was what killed him, yes, but I knew he drove off that cliff on his own accord," Jun said, his voice detached. "Before he left home that night, he took me to a room, telling me things as if he were preparing to say good-bye … he told me to take care of Yua, no matter what happened to him …"
"Don't let love consume you to the point where you cannot live without the other person."
"At that time, I was going through a rebellious age—"
It might be a bit harsh to call that a "rebellious age", given that he had been going through the trauma of losing his mother. He himself was just a teen, and he didn't know how to handle all the emotions going through him, so he stayed as much as he could away from home, in an attempt to run away from all the memories he had about his mother.
"—I'd thought it was his usual routine. He never spent a day without telling me something along those lines and … and then he never came back and we got sent to live with our grandparents," Jun said with a short, humorless laugh. He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know if Yua-chan remembers any of this … I mean, how could she? She could barely walk at that time, but I do know that … I've never seen her as happy as she is right now."
He'd always thought that there was something off about Yua's smile. While she tried her best to act happy around everyone, there was always a hint of loneliness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Rei replied, a tinge of softness in her voice.
Jun resisted the urge to look at her, knowing that she was going to clam up again if he did. He wasn't trying to get her sympathy vote with his story. That wasn't his intention at all, but neither could he deny he felt a twinge of relief that she could feel something other than resentment towards him.
He shook his head. "All of that is in the past, but what I'm trying to say is—"
Gathering up his courage, he looked at her, a small part of him afraid that he might mess up what he wanted to say while he stared at her in the eye. But he needed to let her know that he was being sincere.
Never mind how hard it would be for him to say his next words.
"What I'm trying to say is …" He took a deep breath before smiling as best as he could. "I would be honored if you can take care of Yua-chan."
He looked away from her, determined to hold down that urge to rescind his request.
Sometimes, the best way to make someone happy was to let them go. While he could be selfish and take Yua away, he didn't know how happy he could make her. He didn't know if he could keep her as happy as she was here.
He heard Rei's sharp inhale of breath, and he didn't dare look at her.
"I know you can take good care of her, and I know she'll be happy here. Perhaps … perhaps when she's older and she remembers she has an older brother, she can come and look for me. In the meanti—"
"Do you know what I hate about you?" Rei suddenly interrupted his monologue.
He whipped his head around and gazed at her in surprise. Her expression nearly made him take a step back. Her eyes were narrowed, and her hands were now fists. Her jaws were clenched down, and—
Was it just his imagination or did the temperature around them just rise another couple of degrees?
"Do you know what I hate about you?" she asked again.
This time she took a step towards him, and uncontrollably, he stepped backwards.
"You do this. Every. Single. Time. You always think that you know what other people are thinking and feeling. Why, yes, perhaps it works when you're facing strangers, but you know what? You're a goddamned piece of rock when it comes to the emotions of people you care about—no wonders about where you'd gotten your name. Did you think sacrificing is the best way to go around doing things? What are you going to do? Go home and start withering until there's nothing left but a husk of your original body? Let anger and depression overwhelm you before some evil power takes you over again?" she seethed.
"Wait—wha—"
"I'm not finished yet," she snapped, and he cringed. "You think you're caring about what other people think, but you're just being utterly selfish. Did you ever think about how the other person would feel? You want to be the hero, but in the process, you're neglecting what the other person thinks. Have you thought about how Yua-chan would feel if you left her? She would think that you've abandoned her! Is that how a proper older brother should act?"
"You were the one who didn't want me to find her. You and the search department," Jun finally lashed out, though his voice was much meeker than he'd hoped it would be.
"That was before we could be certain you weren't going to be goddamned stupid and get taken over by evil powers. Again," Rei replied. "Judging by your track record, things aren't exactly in your favor, but—"
"Rei-chan," a voice suddenly called out, stopping her in her rant.
They looked towards the source, and Jun blinked when he saw the group in front of him. He knew or had seen three of the five people. The remaining two—
His eyes uncontrollably latched on to the man. Contrasting feelings of guilt and happiness warred inside him, and the inexplicable urge to kneel and ask for forgiveness stirred in his gut. Instead, he just stood there, frozen on the spot and not knowing what to do and what to make of the situation in front of him.
"You're confusing him, Rei-chan," the woman next to the man said with a kind smile.
Rei's mouth snapped shut before she opened it again. "How did you—"
She trailed off in her words. She gazed around before her eyes landed on someone who was standing a small distance away behind her. The strawberry blond gave her a little wave.
"You," she growled through gritted teeth.
"You can't expect me to watch my brother get burned into crisps after getting a scolding, can you?" Zen asked as he sauntered towards them.
Before he reached where they were standing, he jumped off the edge of the corridor, keeping a wide distance between him and Rei, and walked towards the small group of people.
Jun narrowed his eyes at his friend. Zen gave him a shrug.
"Sorry, I was on orders to not tell you anything," Zen said.
Feelings of betrayal unfurled in the pit of Jun's stomach. Had everything been a lie? Was he going crazy? Was there some intricate plot to pull him in? What was going on?
"It's not what you think," the woman he didn't know spoke up again. She turned towards the man. "Should we speak to him alone?"
The man mulled it over before deciding, "Whatever he prefers."
Those dark blue eyes landed on Jun, and it was strange, how a simple gaze felt like an order, but Jun answered as if he'd been asked, "I would just like to know the truth."
~-0-~
His teacher in high school once told him, many humans didn't know what they wanted, and most of the time, what they wanted wasn't necessarily the best things for them. Jun always thought it made sense, but he realized that he didn't truly understand that sentiment until today.
He felt he might just remember that meeting in the tearoom, with Neo-Queen Serenity, King Endymion, and their Senshi for the rest of his life.
The Queen and the King—his mind was already calling them his Queen and his King, even though he hadn't promised to stay yet—were nothing but kind and understanding. He could tell that the Senshi weren't overly fond of him, but given what he had learned tonight, the fact that they didn't try to kill him on sight was a win for him.
He daresay he was doing better than that silver-eyed man he'd seen at Old Oak Tree the other day.
Serenity and Endymion hadn't mentioned anything about that man, but a part of him knew that he played an important part in the story that was revealed to him tonight.
Besides, at the very least, they still trusted him enough to allow him to stay at Hikawa Shrine with the old man and Yua.
And Rei ...
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. Seconds later, the paper door opened, revealing Zen. The latter glanced at Jun and came in without needing to be ushered in. He thoroughly ignored the side-eye Jun gave him as well. Instead, he sat down at the edge of the futon, pulling the feet of the blanket over his crossed legs before setting his eyes on Jun.
"How are you doing?" Zen asked, tilting his head to a side.
"Depends on what you're asking about," Jun replied, moving a bit to the side so that Zen would have some more room on the futon. "If you're asking about you coming in and stealing half of my blanket and space without asking, then horrible, thank you very much. If you're asking about the whole night as a whole … I like to think I'm coping."
Zen cast a look at the blanket. "I'm only taking up one-eighth of your blanket."
Jun rolled his eyes and shifted his body so that he was lying on his side.
"The whole memories from the past life thing could be confusing," Zen said, his voice much more careful than what Jun was accustomed to hearing from Zen.
Jun stared ahead of him as he inhaled deeply. After a short moment of hesitation, he asked without looking at Zen, "How long have you known?"
"Not much longer than you," Zen confessed. "Remember that hack war I had going on? It was like I'd guessed. The person on the other end was Ami-chan—I don't know how much you remember about our past lives, but she's Sailor Mercury. They … I think they knew who we were since the very start. Ami-chan didn't tell me straight out, but I suspect they'd been keeping tabs on us even before the Great Freeze. Probably from the moment we joined the rebellion."
Some burden was lifted from Jun's heart when he heard what Zen said. At the very least, Zen didn't lie to him.
Jun had no idea if their closeness was the result of what happened in their past life. All he knew was that he cared about this spoiled brat he could almost call his brother. If Zen had been part of this whole thing, he knew it would be much harder for him to find internal peace.
"They didn't want me to let you know too many details because they didn't want to force everything on you," Zen said. "Well, at least that's what the King had said." He tilted his head to one side. "His exact words, according to Ami-chan, were: 'Remembering past lives can be a burden or a blessing. We don't know which one it might be for him, so it's probably better to let things come to pass on their own'."
Jun couldn't agree more.
"Not that I remember everything. And I get the feeling that they leave out the nastier details when they talk to us," Zen commented.
Jun nodded after a moment. He, too, got the feeling that the Queen and King had brushed over some parts of the whole story when they spoke to him that afternoon.
They hadn't even touched upon the subject of him killing Sailor Mars.
Zen asked, "So what are you going to do with all the information dump?"
Jun didn't answer. Instead, a frown appeared on his face.
Zen held up his hands in mock defeat. "I wasn't sent to dig for news."
"I didn't say you were."
Jun sighed before pushing himself up into a sitting position. Zen watched him from the corner of his eyes, an expression of nonchalance on his face. However, one hand gripped onto the edges of the blanket, and the stiffness in his body was apparent even from where Jun was sitting.
"Look … I know this whole … thing is backed up by the Queen and the King, so more than likely, everything is real. Including my inexplicable tendency to trust you, probably more than I should, given that we hadn't even known one another for too long," Jun said. "Also, I may not have your intelligence and be as tech-savvy as you are, but if there's anything I trust in, it's my ability to read people … and judging from what the Queen told me, it was part of my job to be good at reading people."
"But from what you guys described, he was pretty shit at it while he was under the control of the Dark Kingdom, with him underestimating people and—" Makoto had scrunched up her nose while saying this during their talk. "—being a complete chauvinistic pig."
"Maybe it was his soul trying to fight against the dark powers back then."
Much to his surprise, it had been Minako who had spoken up for him. He'd looked at her in surprise, but she had had her eyes on the dessert Rei had taken out for them while she prodded at it with a spoon.
Zen shrugged, but tension noticeably left his shoulders and leaned forward, propping his head up on his laced fingers while resting his elbows on his knees.
"They'd probably tell you it's a bad idea to trust me this much, judging on how I've been under the control of … what's her face and what's her face," Zen said.
His eyes flickered, amusement and discomfort clashing in those bottle-green eyes.
With Zen's excellent memory, Jun found it hard to believe that he would've forgotten Metallia and Beryl's names. However, Jun could understand the younger man's reluctance in mentioning the names of those who'd led to the destruction of everything in their past lives.
"They'd probably tell you it's a bad idea to trust me, too. In fact, you're probably in much more danger than I ever will be, given that we're in my territory right now," Jun joked, giving Zen a lopsided smile.
"Pfft." Zen rolled his eyes, waving a hand in his direction while he looked off to the side. "You're not even married to Rei-san yet, so this is hardly your territory."
Jun's cheeks burned, but before he could say something in retort, there was a knock on the paper door.
Jun got up from the futon, hoping that it wouldn't be the old man. While the old man was fond of him and probably wouldn't care that someone was trying to court his granddaughter, it was still embarrassing to Jun.
The gods heard his pleas, and it wasn't the old man.
Jun wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole when he saw Rei standing there, her expression still calm and collected. However, if Jun hadn't been as flustered as he was to see her, he would've noticed a suspicious tinge of pink on her cheeks.
"May I talk to you for a moment?" Rei asked Jun after giving Zen a short nod as greetings.
Jun scratched the back of his head, gazing at anywhere but at her. He had expected anyone to be standing on the other side of the door. Hell, he could even imagine Minako searching him out for a chat. But after what happened during that afternoon, Rei had been the last person he would expect to visit him and request to talk.
After a short moment, he nodded. Rei turned around, signaling for him to follow her.
Zen mouthed "Don't play with fire" and gave Jun a cocky grin as the latter closed the paper door and followed Rei.
~-0-~
A/N: Huge thanks to my beta, Nerys! Many thanks to those of you who've read, faved, and added to alerts! Huge thanks to Valkyrie Celes for reviewing!