Chapter 45

Anya had stopped shaking by the time she made it out of the bathroom, wrapped in a pale gray robe, toweling her hair dry as the door opened to her cabin. Garrus was at the desk, waiting for her, and she was quick to slide into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she nearly shuddered at the way his embrace steadied her.

"You okay, sweetie?"

"Not really," she admitted softly, and she swallowed, closing her eyes for a beat.

"How can I help?" he asked, his voice concerned.

"You're already helping, I just...need a minute. I don't know how to handle what almost happened."

"Samara is fine," he reminded her gently.

"I know, but that doesn't get rid of the image of her about to blow her brains out in front of us," she whispered, her hands tightening on the fabric of his shirt. "That was...God, that was too close. If I'd been a half second slower…"

He buried his face in her hair and inhaled. "I know."

"I don't think I can handle many more of our friends dying."

"I know." She took a breath before responding.

"How was Liara when you checked on her?"

"A little shaken, but you know her. She's resilient. Stubborn like you."

"That's good. I'll follow up and make sure she's okay in a little bit," she murmured.

"I'm sure she'd like that," he said agreeably, his talons sliding up and down between her shoulder blades.

"Are you okay, honey?"

"I will be. It might hit me harder later, but I'm mostly good right now. More relieved than anything."

"I get that," she all but whispered, touching her temple to his gently.

"You know we did good today, right?" he assured her, his voice low and comforting.

"I do."

"Okay. So, what's our next move?"

"I think...I need to stop putting off Eden Prime," she admitted, and he made an acknowledging noise.

"Can't say I blame you for not wanting to go there."

"It doesn't help that everyone seems to think whatever they're dumping into my lap is the most important thing in the galaxy."

"It's not the end of the world if you let someone else handle it," he reminded her, and she shook her head with a wry smile.

"Please, I'm Commander Shepard. I can do this."

"You absolutely can," he agreed, nuzzling the side of her throat.

"Especially when I have you on my six," she murmured, settling against him more fully and tilting her head to encourage him.

"Damn right." He let out a pleased hum as he adjusted, the arm around her waist tightening. His free hand roamed so that he was gently running his talons up and down the outside of her thigh, the careful caresses stopping before he reached the curve of her ass.

"I'm going to fall asleep right here if you aren't careful," she warned with a small smile, and he chuckled.

"Be my guest, sweetie."

"You're going to be stuck at the desk all night," she teased.

"Nah, I'll just pick you up and carry you to bed when I'm ready to get up."

"Are you going to be able to carry me that far without hurting yourself?"

"I have firmly established the ease with which I can lift you," he said dryly, and she felt her ears heat.

"Keeping me pinned to a wall isn't the same thing," she argued, and he snorted.

"I'm confident in my ability to get you to the bed, as long as I move you before my legs start falling asleep," he said, mirth in his voice.

"Alright," she conceded.

"You don't sound convinced,"

"You don't have a monopoly on being a worrier," she said, pulling back to narrow her eyes at him.

"And what are you worried about? That I'll pull something?"

"Maybe I don't like the idea of you ending up in the medbay because you didn't want to wake me up."

"Alright, just put your arms around my neck," he said, his mandibles flared in a grin.

"Fine, but please be careful." She complied as he adjusted his hold on her, so that he had one arm under her knees, the other still wrapped around the top part of her waist. In one smooth motion, he rose, and she couldn't help tensing for a beat.

"Relax, sweetie, I've got you. Now do you see? You were worried about nothing."

"It only takes doing it wrong once," she reminded him. "Anyway, it's not like I'm light, it's a legitimate concern."

"You're concerns are valid, but you really aren't heavy. I'm hoping that I'm not going to get myself in too much trouble for saying this, but you don't really compare to say, a turian woman when it comes to the...weight thing."

"What?"

"I mean...all the plating we have has a pretty noticeable mass. You don't have any of that," he explained.

"Is that...a good thing...or…?" she asked hesitantly.

"Oh, I love it. Touching you is almost as good as you touching me since you're so soft all over, and the weight differential means you're light enough that I can just...throw you around when we get naked together. It's sexy."

"Damn, I didn't mean to ruin you for turian women," she teased, and he laughed.

"I mean, it might be more accurate to say you've ruined me for every woman," he murmured, pressing her forehead to his, and she felt her cheeks heat.

"Is that so?"

"Oh, yes. Where else am I going to find another woman who is so strong, and smart, and gorgeous, and terrifying, and a thousand other things all at the same time like you, Anya?" The words were soft and low, and she could feel her heart beating faster.

"I'm sure they're out there," she managed, trying to play along, but he shook his head.

"I don't know that there's anyone in the galaxy like you. Every time you've found me, and you always find me, you turn my life upside down in the best, most insane ways possible, and honestly, I...I don't know if asking the spirits for things actually works, but if it does, I'm grateful to them that we always find our way back to each other. I feel...beyond lucky to have you in my life."

"Oh," she whispered, her chest feeling tight. "Oh, Garrus, honey…"

"Look, I'm not...asking you to say anything like that back. I know it was kind of a lot. I just...I've been trying to come up with ways to make sure you know how I feel without using the small handful of words that I'm having trouble with, and those ones...seemed to fit pretty well." She cut him off with a gentle, lingering kiss, one hand smoothing it's way up and down his chest.

"I feel like you are everything I never knew I needed in my life," she said, her voice thick as she kept going. "I felt like I was missing a part of myself the last time we weren't together. There is no one I trust more than you."

"Anya…"

She pressed her mouth to his again, before murmuring, "Do you want to take me to bed?"

"Yes." He was striding for the bed as soon as the word left his mouth, and she clung to him when he reached the stairs. He reassured her, "I've still got you."

"I know. You always do." He initiated the next kiss, his mouth gentle even when their tongues tangled. She pulled away long enough to mumble, "You should at least consider putting me down at some point, though."

He barely managed to bite back a laugh as he complied, and she was quick to shuck her robe. He started pulling his own clothes off, though his progress was frequently interrupted by his clear desire to keep stealing more tender kisses. Once he was bare, she hurried onto the bed, biting her lip and reaching for him as soon as she was settled, not caring that they were about to be laying sideways across the mattress.

He followed her lead wordlessly, crawling onto the bed until he was all but on top of her on all fours. Her breath caught at the sight of the big man above her, lust and something loving in his gaze. He leaned down, his mouth finding hers again before his attention led him to nuzzle and lick his way along her jawline to her ear. When he spoke, his voice sounded raw, the reverberations he let off heating her to her core.

"Spirits, you always look so beautiful."

She swallowed at the words, feeling vulnerable and turned on in equal measure. She kissed his throat, managing to ask, "Make love to me?"

He let out a rumble, the primal noise making her clench. His hand came up to cradle the far side of her face as he nipped the sensitive skin once.

"Anything for you."