Okay here's the latest. Not much movement, but more set up and quite a bit of fluff so take it as you will. And thanks so much EpicStelena and Indigo for your comments/support. Much appreciated. More to come soon!
Taking Abby up on her advice, Brody and Carrie walked out the side doors of the hospital and onto the grounds. There were gardens, a small pond, benches. and a winding tree lined path. It wasn't a well lit area, but the moon and stars in the clear night sky illuminated things nicely, and the cool air was just what the two of them needed after being cooped up inside the better part of the day.
His hand in her's as they walked, Carrie smiled, leaned against his shoulder.
"It's so nice out here. You want to sit for awhile?", Brody asked as she shook her head.
"I don't remember the last time I got to go for a walk outside.", Carrie shrugged. "An unsupervised one, anyway.", she said as he let out a snort.
"Was Dr. Harlan insistent on overseeing them too?"
"Brody..."
"I don't like him, Carrie. He was an asshole back there. And I really don't like that that Senator has got him in his back pocket. All Lockhart's apparent interest in you is just-"
"Yeah I'm not exactly thrilled with it either.", Carrie spat, crossing her arms. Afraid she was chilly Brody slipped off, slipped his jacket around her shoulders.
"Thanks."
"Anytime. Looks better on you anyway.", he smiled before going solemn. "I still don't understand why he's got any say there at all. Over you or anything that's got to do with the CIA. I thought Danny was in charge."
"He is. At least I thought he was."
"You think there was some turnover recently?"
"Not that I know of.", Carrie shrugged. "I'll ask around though. Maybe mention it to Saul too."
Smiling, grateful she had the ability to do that again, Carrie leaned into Brody's side again, twined their fingers.
"I'm so glad he's okay."
"I know. I'm glad that you're glad.", Brody said truthfully, earning a frown in return.
"For Christ's sake, Carrie. Look I'm happy the man's alive. I know how much you and Farrah love him and I'm happy for your sakes. But Saul Berenson and I are never going to be best friends."
"I know that.", she snorted.
"Same as you know that once you explain yourself, everything that's happened, I'm gonna be even higher on his shit list."
Nodding, after a beat she swallowed hard, spoke.
"You know that I wouldn't do anything differently, right?"
"Anything?", Brody asked, arching a brow.
"Anything that I've done recently. That put me here with you right now.", she clarified. "I chose this. I chose you. I want to fucking be with you."
"Carrie, I...look." Shaking his head he ran his thumb over the back of their linked hands.
"I know how we feel about each other. And I know I couldn't be happier we have another chance. But like I told you before, I'll understand. Whatever you decide."
"I don't know what you mean.", Carrie frowned.
"I mean if Saul somehow finds a way to get you out of this, gets you off administrative leave and back in the Agency, not just off book. If you chose that life over one with me, I'd never hold it against you. I know how much you love it there.", Brody said solemnly as she dropped their hands, shook her head bitterly.
"Hey, what-"
"After all the bullshit you and I have been through, to be here, you really think I'll just give you up that easily?", she scoffed, turning towards Brody as he shrugged.
"Why not? I gave you up. I turned on you and fucked you up. For Christ's sake, I'm the reason you had temporary amnesia!", he said bitterly, bowing his head and continuing to walk. Swallowing hard, Carrie sighed. Realized what she'd said earlier must've landed with and affected him more than he'd let on.
"Brody, look at me."
When he didn't comply she took hold of his upper arm. Stepped ahead of him on the path.
"Look at me.", she said more forcefully as he reluctantly slowed his pace, stopped.
"And you better listen because I'm only going to say this once." When he finally met her gaze Carrie chewed her lip, spoke after a beat.
"I haven't forgotten what you did to me. And barring some fucking freak accident giving me permanent amnesia I never will. I'm not in denial about what happened or what you're capable of doing. And you shouldn't underestimate what I'm capable of doing to you.", Carrie said firmly.
"Oh I know. I know." Lightly laughing Brody watched as she rolled her eyes, softly smiled before taking his hand again.
"You and I give new meaning to the word destructive. And we're so dysfunctional and fucked it almost hurts to acknowledge we still mean a fucking thing to each other. But we do. Otherwise we'd have probably killed each other by now. Not agreed to have a child.", she snorted as he smiled softly, reached to hold both sides of her face, stroke her hair.
"You might be right."
"Aren't I always?"
"Yes. Humble too.", he teased as she rolled her eyes, slid her hands up and over his shoulders.
"If you feel guilty because of what our being together might cost me, don't. I've made up my mind."
Even though her words and tone reassured him, he still wasn't entirely convinced one of his worst fears for her wouldn't play out someday. And he wanted her to know it.
"I just don't want you to have any regrets.", he said softly.
"Regrets? C'mon, Brody.", Carrie scoffed. "The only one I'd fucking have is if after everything we didn't at least try with each other. I mean, Farrah and the baby aside, don't we owe ourselves that?"
"Ourselves and our fucked up bond?", Brody asked before a smile filled his face. "I never thought of it like that."
"You never thought of us as fucked up? Jesus. You've got interesting standards."
"No, I didn't...I mean. Never mind.", he sighed as Carrie laughed. Leaned against him again as he rested their twined hands on her right shoulder, continued to walk with her up the path. A comfortable silence setting in before she finally broke it.
"So listen, Farrah's birthday is coming up. And I think I'm going to need you to start getting the stuff she put on her list."
"Sure. How long's the list?"
"That doesn't matter. All that does is that her presents start getting scattered and hidden around the house so that she can find them during her birthday week."
"Hang on. Birthday week?"
"Yes.", Carrie said simply, but in a tone that Brody knew better than to question.
"Okay, fine. When do I have to start getting these presents? And where exactly are they supposed to be hidden? Under your coffee table? Behind a couch cushion? That giant fucking corkboard?", he laughed as she shot him a look.
"Hey, that's my giant fucking corkboard and if you think you can just fucking mock it-"
"Okay, okay!", Brody defended. "I swear, I'll never speak badly of the corkboard again."
"Hey, you don't mind speaking badly of birthday week, who knows what you consider sacred."
"Carrie. C'mon.", he sighed. "I wasn't speaking badly. I just, look, when I was a kid we had one day, maybe two tops for cake and presents. Not a whole goddamn week."
"Well in Iraq Farrah wasn't exactly getting showered with gifts the other fifty-one of the year.", Carrie said bitterly as Brody bit his lip guiltily.
"Well she'll be showered this year, okay?", he assured. "I mean it. She's a fantastic kid and deserves a special week. I'll do all I can to make sure she gets one."
"You swear?"
"I swear. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure.", Carrie shrugged.
"Did you create this custom or was it inspired?", Brody asked as her smile went soft, sadder.
"My dad used to make a big deal about birthdays. Come up with all these amazing plans. He told me before my tenth we were going to ride roller coasters for a week. Drive up to this amusement park. I think for Maggie's he said we'd rent an ice cream truck. Binge on popsicles.", she lightly laughed.
"And did you?", Brody asked curiously.
"No. Most of the ideas he'd come up with when he was manic. By the time our birthdays did roll around he'd be holed up in his study on the couch."
"Jesus, Carrie."
"It's okay, Brody.", she said. "It was a long fucking time ago. I've matured. Moved on. Even now, you think I give a fuck when I turn a year older?"
"Well if you do age, you certainly don't act like you do."
"Should I take that as a compliment? Or-"
Kissing her gently she kissed him back, heatedly until she remembered Abby's warning.
"So much for keeping it clean.", she snickered as he rolled his eyes. Kissed her again before pulling her close.
"We should probably start heading back."
"Yeah.", Carrie nodded. "You should probably start heading home."
"Carrie..."
"I want you to get Farrah at Maggie's. She should be able to wake up in her own bed tomorrow. I didn't like how she sounded over the phone."
"How did she sound?", Brody asked fearfully.
"Scared is how she sounded. She's intelligent and intuitive, Brody. She knows if something is off, out of sorts."
"I know. She's like her mom.", he said truthfully as she smiled.
"I'd just feel better if you were with her."
"You're that tired of me?"
"No, but I'm definitely getting there.", Carrie smirked. "C'mon Sergeant, I'll be fine. You have my word."
"Fine. Fine.", Brody said as they looped back on the path back towards the doors they'd exited earlier. "So long as I get a hug too."