Chapter 49

Anya felt giddy when she and Tali made it to Liara's room, the asari nearly bowling them both over when she went to hug the younger woman.

"It's so good to see you, Tali!" Liara said earnestly, and Tali laughed.

"Keelah, you're squeezing too hard!" The quarian made no move to extricate herself from the enthusiastic embrace.

"This is the third time I've seen you in two years, I suspect you'll live," Liara teased, finally letting go. "Now, how is my favorite admiral?"

"Do you have a least favorite admiral?" Anya asked mirthfully, and Liara nodded.

"I do! Admiral Koris, though Hackett is a very close second."

"I get Koris, but why Hackett?" the human asked, an eyebrow raised, and Liara returned the expression.

"I'm sorry, I know that one hundred and eight may seem old to you two, but my memory is good. Just for argument's sake, though, whose fault was it that you were on Aratoht?"

"That one...is a pretty even split between me and Hackett," Anya admitted.

"But, you aren't an admiral," Tali pointed out.

"Yet," Liara agreed.

"Maybe never, being an admiral in the Alliance is crap. I don't think I'm shooting for anything above captain. Beyond that it's all...being a bitch and paperwork. At least as a commander or captain I could be out in the field," Anya said, shaking her head.

"Being safe behind a desk might start sounding good by the time this is all over," Tali pointed out, and Anya shrugged.

"You're probably right. I don't know how well I would function as a chairborn ranger, though."

"You'd go crazy within a year," Liara said solemnly before grinning. "Maybe you could go for another promotion right before you get out. You're well over halfway through, aren't you?"

"I mean...kind of? I don't know if the brass has figured out if my time KIA counts towards my twenty. I'm a bit past ten if it doesn't, but I'm nearly at thirteen if it does."

"I think it should," Tali muttered.

"So do I! I mean, I know I wasn't doing anything for the Alliance while I was gone, but neither are POWs while they're incarcerated, so...I dunno. Might be something for me to press with either Anderson, or Liara's almost least favorite admiral."

"I'd be willing to bump him up in the rankings if he came through for you," Liara said, feigning seriousness for a beat.

"Can I tell him that? Bet it'd light a fire under his ass." The asari laughed at that and nodded.

"Be my guest."

"Captain Shepard doesn't sound bad, either," Tali said thoughtfully.

"I don't think it hits as well as commander, but it's hard to say no to half of what an O-six makes for life."

"Why not go for captain soon, then go for admiral right before you get out? Then you get the best of both worlds, and...we could both be admirals."

"I've thought about that, too, but even captains get pulled from their ships, though. Look what happened to Anderson during Saren," Anya said somberly.

"How is captain Anderson?" Tali asked.

"Still on Earth," Anya said with a sad smile. "Still alive, though, last I heard."

"Well...keelah. I'm glad he's alright," Tali said softly.

"Me, too." Silence stretched between the three for a long moment.

"So, have you had a chance to see everyone, yet?" Liara asked, her smile a little forced.

"Not yet! I've seen you two and Joker, but I haven't had much of an opportunity to go around the ship."

"Well, let's make the rounds!" Anya said with a grin of her own. "Or we can invite people to swing by, if you're feeling worn out."

"Perhaps the lounge, for location?" Liara suggested, and Anya nodded.

"It'd be perfect. Room to spread out, little social lubricant flowing. Almost no chance of everybody being super cramped in here or falling into the engine if somebody has one too many. What do you guys think?"

"I'm on board," Tali agreed.

"Sounds good to me," Liara said, clearly pleased.

"Alright, I'm going to send out a message to the whole field team. I'm sure Garrus will come by, and probably James. I swear, he feels like he has to be in the middle of everything. Kaidan's kind of iffy."

"Are we talking to Kaidan again?" Tali asked carefully, and Anya snorted.

"Yes, I am fine with you being friendly with Kaidan."

"Are you sure? He was being a bosh'tet last I heard."

"He's stopped since the last time I almost shot him. We're good now, more or less."

"More or less?" Tali asked.

"The major seems like he still has some...unresolved emotions in regard to Shepard," Liara said slowly.

"As long as he keeps them to himself, I'm fine with it."

"We know." Liara sounded sad now, and Anya realized how callous the words sounded.

"I'm sorry, that came out badly. I wasn't trying to make a jab or cause any kind of pain, and I wasn't trying to be insensitive."

"No, no it is...it's fine. Really," Liara assured her, looking mortified.

"You know that I care, right, it's just…"

"No, I know, I do, I didn't mean to say that out loud. By the goddess, I feel foolish," Liara murmured, her cheeks darkening.

"You don't need to feel foolish for having feelings."

"I think you trying to make her feel better is making her feel worse, Shepard," Tali said quietly.

"I just don't know what else to say."

Liara took a deep breath before finally making eye contact with Anya. "Nothing, commander. I know that...it is no one's fault that you do not love me the way I used to wish you did. I will not torment you for your lack of romantic feelings, any more than you would torment me for the presence of mine."

"Are we good?" Anya asked, concern still etched in her features.

"We are good."

"Should I talk about Garrus less? I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I swear I'm just an idiot."

"It's fine, Shepard," Liara insisted. "I would speak up if I were unhappy. Truthfully, I like seeing the two of you together. I am...glad that you are content with someone who treats you with the kindness you deserve. Talk about him as much as you like. Reminding me that you are taken care of brings me far more joy than sorrow. I mean it."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely."

"Okay. Look, if you ever need-"

"That's enough, Shepard," Liara said gently.

"Alright. I will...shut up now."

"Please do," Tali volunteered earnestly, and the tension in the room crumbled. Anya shot the quarian woman a feigned glare as Liara choked on a laugh, trying to disguise the sound as a cough.

"I wonder who the bosh'tet is now?" Anya asked pointedly, and Tali snickered.

"Still Kaidan, you love me far too much for it to be me." Anya snorted at the younger woman's sure reply.

"Like I said, he's been pretty reasonable so far, lingering crush aside. As long as he can be civil, he doesn't seem like much of an ass to me."

"That's got to be weird, though. How is Garrus handling it?" Tali inquired.

"So far, so good. According to him, the major seems to be avoiding him whenever we aren't all out in the field together. It's not ideal, but…" Anya shrugged.

"That's...good, sort of. It's kind of a shame, though. I know they were kind of close on the first Normandy."

"I think Kaidan resents Garrus a little," Liara volunteered quietly. "I think he knows he shouldn't, so he's avoiding talking to him, just like he's avoiding you."

"Thank you, Liara, I needed a gut punch right now." Anya felt a surge of guilt at the words.

"I am not saying this to make you feel bad, commander, just...saying that I can empathize. I behaved similarly for a while, if you remember," Liara reminded her. "I just have the advantage of time when it comes to...getting over it."

"Well, I wish I knew how to help," Anya murmured.

"Well, seeing you with Kaidan a few times helped cement it for me. It made it more real, and that made it easier for making the transition into beginning to move on. That and seeing how many times you gave the major a heart attack."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's that supposed to mean?" Anya asked with a laugh.

"I'll put it this way: if I were the major and I saw how much worse you had gotten about scaring the life out of the people you care about, I would consider that a…'deal-breaker'...all by itself," Liara teased.

"Well, that's because you're no fun," Anya retorted, and the asari grinned.

"For the record, I'm also alright with less fun," Tali said pointedly. "We've all seen how you are, Shepard."

"See, this is why I miss Jack. No judgment for my bad decisions."

"If Jack is your only defense, that speaks for itself, no?"

"Jack's cleaned up since you saw her last, Tali," Anya argued.

"Not her language, so much, but she hasn't engaged in any vandalism in a long time," Liara agreed with a grin.

"The hanar must have really loved that moon," Anya said seriously before smiling herself.

"Mmm, tell me everything. I joke, but I do miss her," Tali said with a sigh. "She's a little on the crazy side, even for us, but she really is a good friend once she warms up to you."

"Agreed. Well, guess what she's doing for a living now?" Anya asked.

"What?"

"Teaching," Liara answered.

"She's...what?"

"She's a biotics instructor at Grissom. Her kids love her. Girl was killing it, too," Anya said, feeling a surge of pride in her friend. "Those students were on cloud nine when they got to see the psychotic biotic in action."

Tali let out a pleased sound. "You're going to have to start at the top, I want to hear all about it."