Okay here's the latest. Just setting up some stuff here, and including a conversation I wound up feeling compelled to write. I swear, this fic. It's got a life of its own at this point. Anyway, take as you will. And thanks so SO much indigo, Bookworm, EpicStelena, lipamo for the reviewage. Also CSI Encyclopedia. I'm really glad even as a C/B non-shipper I've caught your interest/kept you reading. More to come soon!
After spotting, recognizing the man on the gurney, Carrie knew she was expected downstairs for group, but she also knew she could take the longer route there by cutting through the hospital lobby. Allowing her to stop by the front desk to talk to Esperanza or Ava about the man who had just been brought in and the circumstances surrounding it. Then afterwards she could sneak into Abby's new office, borrow her phone to call someone that she was sure would want to know about the situation.
Leaving the stairwell she opened the door, cut across the lobby towards the front desk, only to see someone familiar standing there. Wanting answers and circumstances as well.
"Listen, I just want to see my son and husband and find out how they are, that's all! Fuck, why can't someone here just answer me! I-"
"Jessica.", Carrie interrupted, tapping her shoulder to get her attention. Turning around, once seeing her the brunette's eyes went wide.
"C...Carrie? What-"
"I'm sorry I just...look I saw Faber being brought up to the third floor. I was about to get on the elevator when they were loading him off."
Nodding, spellbound, Jessica choked out a thank you, went to cut over to the elevator but Carrie stopped her. "They won't let you up. Not if he's in surgery."
"How do you know?!", Jessica snapped. "Do you work here now?", she asked as Carrie sighed.
"No. I don't. But a friend of mine was brought up to the same floor after being shot in the chest. They wouldn't let me past the double doors."
"Well Mike is my husband now. Not just a friend!"
"It doesn't matter. They won't let you through. You'll be thrown out of here by security if you try. But this is a good hospital. My friend survived. He's fine."
"Mike wasn't shot. He was in a car accident. Him and...and Chris.", Jessica choked out.
"Jesus. I didn't even see...is he alright?"
"They brought him over to X-ray, I...I saw him beforehand. He said he was fine, that I should go be with Mike but they're not letting me be with Mike! And I left Dana five messages but I haven't heard back from her yet and I..."
Seeing her trail off, fight to catch her breath, taking her by the arm Carrie led her over to a nearby bench. Her eyes widened though when the brunette reached for, start pawing through her purse.
"Jessica, what..."
"I...my inhaler..in...in my purse."
Quickly grabbing it, Carrie handed it to her, rubbed her back as she used it. "You okay?"
Nodding, Jessica took a few slow breaths, shoved the inhaler back in her bag before she shook her head, blinked back tears.
"Shit. Shit!"
"It's okay. My niece has asthma. She hates her inhaler."
"I haven't had that happen to me since high school.", she choked out, embarrassed.
"You're upset. It's understandable."
Shaking her head she looked up, laughed at Carrie in disbelief. "Okay. What the fuck is going on? Why are you even..."
"It doesn't matter. I thought that I could help, so I did. But I'll leave you alone. The last person you probably want to deal with right now is me.", she snorted. Standing she went to walk away but felt her knees shake and almost faltered. "Fuck."
"Are you alright?"
"Fine. Just...I'm fine."
Rolling her eyes Jessica stood, held her steady.
"Jessica, really, I-"
"If it hadn't been for you I'd have passed out going through my purse.", she snorted. Walking Carrie back to the bench though she swallowed hard, noticed her figure had changed considerably.
"What?", Carrie asked once she was seated.
"How far along are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well you've either started to let yourself go or you're only carrying in your belly. I can only hope it's the former.", Jessica scoffed as Carrie swallowed hard, looked down and away from her.
"Of course." Jessica sighed. Shaking her head as she sat back down.
"So how far? Three months?"
"Fifteen weeks, actually."
"It is Brody's, right?"
Nodding, Carrie met her gaze. "Yes.", she answered, getting an eyeroll.
"When I was fifteen weeks with Chris, I had ten pounds on you plus a filled out face. I looked like a blowfish."
"As if you didn't have enough reason to hate me already.", Carrie snorted, getting a light laugh before awkward silence set in. Clearing her throat she went to stand, broke it.
"Listen, I should really get-"
"No, Carrie, I-"
"Really, I'm better now, I should-"
"I could use the distraction. Please.", Jessica interrupted. Making the mistake of looking her in the eye, seeing how fearful she looked Carrie nodded, sat again.
"I saw the conference.", the brunette said after a beat. "The press conference you gave a few months ago."
"Yeah. My fifteen minutes of fame. Infamy actually.", Carrie snorted.
"Were you the asset who went on that assignment? Tracked down the evidence that-"
"Jessica, I'm not supposed to discuss-"
"I know. It's classified. Believe me I've gotten familiar with that word.", Jessica muttered as Carrie shifted a little closer to her, lowered her voice.
"But yes, I retrieved the evidence."
Nodding, after a few moments Jessica swallowed hard, spoke. "Thank you."
Shaking her head, Carrie turned towards her. "You don't need to-"
"I do, Carrie. Brody was my husband. He fathered my kids. When I fell in love with him he was a longhaired, Aviator wearing, military brat who sat across from me in Chem class, took me out joyriding in his father's car, and knew to buy me pistachio ice cream and to rent The Way We Were when I was sad.
You know how hard it was to remember that, to even think about that, when the entire world was convinced that he'd killed two hundred and nineteen people? When we had cops surveying our house and death threats in the mail and our church telling us we were no longer welcome?"
"Impossible.", Carrie said softly. "It had to have been impossible."
"I didn't want to believe that he had done it. But it was in every news report, every paper. Every time a person looked at me or drove past my house or harassed Dana and Chris, I became more and more convinced of it until I hated him. Saw him as nothing but a fucking monster who destroyed me and destroyed my kids. It was easier for me to just hate him. It couldn't have been easy for you to do what you did.", Jessica said as Carrie shrugged.
"It was my job, Jessica. I just did my job."
"Well if you hadn't, I don't know where any of us would even be. Especially Dana."
"Honestly I don't know where I'd be either.", Carrie admitted before she heard a familiar throat clearing, looked up to see Abby arching a brow at her.
"Hang on I'll...I'll be right back."
Nervously approaching a stern looking Abby, she crossed her arms protectively over herself.
"Group started twenty minutes ago, you know."
"I know, I'm sorry, I just, Brody's son. He was just admitted."
"What? What happened?!"
"Him and his stepfather Mike Faber, they were in a car accident. I was going to try and call Brody, let him know what's going on. He deserves to know. Please, Abby."
"Alright, honey. Alright. Go use my office phone but be quick about it."
Thanking her, Carrie was about to walk off but looking over, saw Jessica leaning forward on the bench with her head in her hands.
"Carrie, did you hear me? I said be quick!", Abby exclaimed.
"I know, I just...Chris' mother is over there. I don't think she should be left alone, I-"
"Alright I'll go sit with her. Hurry up though now, c'mon."
Nodding, after reaching the office Carrie picked up the phone, quickly dialed Brody's cell only to get his voicemail. "Shit.", she spat, running a hand through her hair as she paced, shut the door.
"Brody, hey. It's me. Listen I need you to get down to the hospital right away. Jessica's here. Mike Faber was in an accident, him and...and Chris. She said she saw Chris and he's okay, he's in X-ray, but Faber's in surgery and you should really get the fuck down here. Right now, okay? Bye."
Slamming the phone back in the cradle, after composing herself she opened the door, walked back towards the lobby, only to stop short seeing Abby standing by the desk, and Brody standing by the bench where she'd been earlier. He had his right arm around Dana and his left hand on Jessica's cheek before she shook her head and moved closer, leaned against his chest.
Standing still, watching the three of them from a distance Carrie swallowed hard. Her hand absentmindedly going to her belly. She felt like she'd been transported to her living room couch. Like she was back watching the surveillance on the monitors of them as a family. It felt in that second like nothing had changed between now and Brody's homecoming. Like she was still the rogue, loner agent on the outside looking in, looking in on something she shouldn't. As much as she wanted to though, as guilty as she felt standing there, intruding, it was just like before. She couldn't make herself look away.
"Carrie? Carrie?", Abby repeated, tapping her shoulder as she jumped, moved her hand off her stomach.
"You okay, honey?"
"I'm fine. I...I'm fine.", Carrie said, not too convincingly.
"Well c'mon. Let's get you down to group then, okay?", Abby said, frowning curiously at her when she was forced to take her by the arm, almost drag her away from the scene.