The trip to Yut-Lung's place took too long in Eiji's opinion. Every minute or so Sing would apologize for Yut-Lung's actions. Eiji didn't care. He just wanted to move again. He wanted the ability to feel his legs and arms so he could save Ash and kill Yut-Lung. When they finally arrived, Sing carried Eiji inside. He was carried from room to room. Eiji wished Sing would open his eyes so he could see where he was. After a few minutes, Eiji felt himself being lowered onto a couch.

"Fix him."

Eiji heard Yut-Lung muttered something in Chinese. Sing snapped something back. A few seconds later two slender hands went under Eiji's head and neck. If he could move, he would have jumped. He had forgotten how quietly Yut-Lung moved. He felt something drip onto his lips and into his mouth. The liquid slipped down his throat. Eiji took in a long raspy gasp of air as he jolted. The hands let him go. Eiji sat up as his arms and legs tingling painfully. His whole body ached, and he felt like he was going to throw up. All he wanted to do was to curl in a small ball and sleep. Instead, he forced himself to his feet. He had more important things to do.

"We need to stop Ash before he does something-" Eiji's voice was hoarse and he broke into a fit of coughs.

"Sit down." Sing gently pushed him back on the couch. "And drink this." He handed Eiji a glass of water. Eiji took it and instantly dropped it. Sing caught it before he fell to the ground.

"S-s-ory" Eiji rasped. Sing held the glass to his lips, and he drank gratefully. The water tasted sweet against his dry throat. He felt some of his energy return.

"I know you want to see Ash, but we can't right now. No one knows where he is. He disappeared right after saying he knew where Triple R's base was. I tried calling but won't answer his phone. There's nothing we can do."

"He could die there," Eiji mumbled through the glass of water. "I can't…it's my fault… You should have heard him…I never thought…his sounded so broken…I didn't know…" Eiji's voice cut off as tears filled his eyes. Sing lowered the glass and Eiji hid his face in his arms. The image of Ash's broken expression haunted his memory. He didn't want that to be the last image he had of his boyfriend. He felt Sing touch his shoulder and he looked up at him.

"It's not your fault." Sing shot Yut-Lung a look. 'It's his."

"Why are you angry at me? I didn't kill him." Yut-Lung crossed his arms. "You realize it would have been much easier on my end if he was really dead. I wouldn't have to waste so much money." He stared haughtily at Sing who ignored him.

"You need a bath. If Ash saw, you like this he'd think you're a zombie." Eiji didn't know if he wanted to laugh or protest. On one hand, he wanted to find Ash now. On the other, he could barely move and would probably cause more problems showing up looking like a corpse. After another minute's hesitation, he begrudgingly nodded and let Sing bring him to the bathroom.

Eiji sat looking at the mirror in the bathroom while Sing filled the tub. Although he knew he looked bad, he was still shocked. If he didn't know better, he would say he was a zombie. No one, who looked like him, could possibly be alive. He gingerly touched his neck. The skin was peeling and marred as if someone had tried to tear his throat out. If he was someone else he would have thought it looked painful. Eiji gulped; no wonder Ash was so devastated. He doubted the marks on him were random. That makeup artist was trying to tell a story. Eiji, who really didn't belong in this dangerous world, wouldn't recognize the signs. Ash however would know exactly what happened to him.

"Ok, it's ready. Do you need help?" Eiji looked over to find Sing watching him.

"No, I got this."

Sing nodded and went to the door.

"Call if you need anything."

Eiji nodded again and he left. Once Sing was gone Eiji took off his clothes and started unwinding Ash's bandage. He settled in the tub. The warm waters did wonders to his sore body. After five minutes the aches and pains died way. It took longer however to get the ointment out of his skin. He didn't get out of the tub until he could look into a mirror and safely say he was human.

Once he was satisfied, he got dressed and returned to the room. Sing was on the phone in the corner talking in an angry hushed voice. Yut-Lung was on his laptop. Eiji noticed that the Chinese leader had a large bruise on his left cheek. Yut-Lung looked up from his laptop and saw Eiji. He snapped it shut and crossed his arms.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Yeah find Ash."

"I already sent my men out. Sing is overseeing it now." Yut-Lung rubbed his bruised cheek and shot Sing a dirty look. "Apparently keeping you alive wasn't good enough for him." Eiji clenched his fists. He wanted so badly to hit Yut-Lung but, he knew now was not the time. If Yut-Lung's men could find Ash, then he would put up with the Chinese leader's antics for a little while longer. Sing got off the phone and turned to Eiji.

"You're done. Good, we need to go. We just located Ash. 'll take you to him." Sing turned to Yut-Lung "We need to borrow your car." The Chinese leader waved a dismissive hand. Sing turned back to Eiji. "Can you walk?"

"I'm fine." It came out snappier than he attended but Eiji didn't have time to apologize. He needed to find Ash now. "Let's go."

Ash stood among the corpses of the fallen men. They lay around him soaked in blood in the dim light. His revenge was done. He had destroyed the group that killed Eiji. Ash knew he should feel something, but everything was numb. Around him, a pool of blood was steadily forming. Ash had been shot multiple times, if he hadn't been so incredibly numb, he wouldn't be able to move because of the pain. As it was, he felt weak, partly because of the wounds and partly because his earlier burst of energy was fading. He had won. That meant he should return to the base and….say goodbye to Eiji.

Ash clenched his fist against his heart. Could he actually do it? Could he really go back and see Eiji's lifeless corpse? He wished he had told Cain to take the body to the police. Eiji deserved to be sent back to his family, not wait at the base for his failure of a boyfriend to return. Maybe instead of returning at all he could just stay here and bleed out. Perhaps that would be for the best. He wouldn't need to start his new life without Eiji. Now that the revenge was done all his memories of Eiji were flooding back.

He could see Eiji cooking dinner, whistling slightly. He could feel Eiji's gentle hands around his neck. He could still hear echoes of Eiji's laugher, pure and angelic. These fresh memories stung against the cold reality. He would never see Eiji again. All this was going to fade over time. Eiji was going to fade from the world.

At that moment Ash wished he felt the pain from his wounds. At least then it would stop his mind from conjuring up these painful images. It would hide the hole in his heart that Eiji used to fill. He was empty, just a shell of a human. The one person in his life that gave him hope was gone forever.

"Ash!"

A voice cut through his thoughts. It was a voice Ash recognized but never thought he would hear again. His head snapped up as his mind reeled in confusing. He saw a fleeting image of Eiji hurrying towards him before he was engulfed in a hug. Instantly Ash was surrounded by warmth. He relaxed and leaned into the hug. He understood what was happening. Eiji was here to take him to the afterlife. A clean whole Eiji, one who didn't bear the unmistakable markings of torture. One who was not lying still and cold in his base. This Eiji did not feel pain or fear.

"You're here to get me," Ash mumbled pressing against Eiji. His boyfriend pulled back a little and Ash took him in. He was beautiful as a spirit as he was in life. Of course, he was, he was already an angle.

"I'm sorry." Ash's eyes filled with tears. He didn't deserve to see Eiji again. It was because of him Eiji was tortured and killed. He had failed his boyfriend on so many leaves and yet he was still here holding him.

"It's ok Ash" Eiji whispered. "You're going to be ok." Ash opened his mouth but found he didn't have the energy to speak. Eiji's eyes widened with terror and he jerked away from Ash. The warmth disappeared and Ash wished Eiji would hold him again.

"You're hurt!" Eiji's voice sounded distant. The Japanese turned away and started yelling something over his shoulder but the ringing in Ash's hears blocked everything out. Ash silently begged Eiji to turn around. He wanted to see him, even if he was just a spirit, one more time. The light in the room was fading. Ash faintly hoped that there was a way to see Heaven from hell. It would be his only chance to see Eiji. Ash knew he was not going to heaven. He sunk to his knees as his strength left him and the world faded to black.

Ash knew something was wrong. He could hear a heart monitor and smelled the sanitary smell of a hospital. Did someone save him? He couldn't feel Eiji's warmth anymore. Opening his eyes, he found himself in a small room. It was not a hospital room, but it still has medical equipment. Eiji's spirit was nowhere in sight. Instead, he got an unpleasant view of Yut-Lung sitting in a chair nearby. The Chinese leader hadn't noticed him yet. He was reading a book with one hand and pressing an ice pack against a bruise on his forehead. He had another bruise was on his cheek. It looked like he had been in a nasty fight. If this was any other day Ash would have scoffed and mocked him. Instead, he couldn't even muster a frown.

"Why did you save me?" His voice was emotionless, dead. He didn't really care what Yut-Lung's reasoning was. Caring meant feeling, and he couldn't do that. All he wanted to know was why Yut-Lung decided he should continue suffering in this world alone. The Chinese leader looked up from his book.

"Oh, you're awake already? It hasn't even been two days. You really are a monster." He closed his book and placed it daintily on a side table.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"You're here because it would cause problems if you went to the hospital. They would ask too many questions."

"That isn't what I meant." Ash wished he would hurry up and answer. He just wanted to know so he could go back to sleep. Sleep sounded good.

"No, I suppose not. I brought you here because I owe you. You took out the men wanted dead. It was the least I could do to pay you back."

"I didn't do it for you."

"I know that. That's why I had to set the whole thing up. You wouldn't have attacked if you didn't find Eiji dead."

It took a few seconds for the meaning of Yut-Lung's words to sink it. The Chinese leader was responsible for Eiji's death. He killed his angle for some petty revenge scheme. A red-hot fire burned in Ash's chest. Before Yut-Lung had time to react, Ash had launched across the room and smashed Yut-Lung against the wall by his throat. The sound of flat-line beep filled the room from Ash's unhooked IVs. Yut-Lung chocked and grabbed Ash's hands with his own.

"You can still move even if you're this hurt. I can see why everyone says you're the devil himself." Yut-Lung wheezed through Ash's clenched hand. Ash's eyes narrowed and his hand tightened slightly. It seemed to Ash that Yut-Lung didn't understand what he did. He thought Ash was the devil. Ash would show him what the devil really looked like. He would show him a Hell that he never experienced before.

"What's going on!" Sing's voice rang through the room. "Is Ash… Ash! You're up!" Ash ignored him. He could talk to Sing later. The first thing he needed to do was to make Yut-Lung pay. He wasn't going to stop until the man in front of him regret ever setting eyes on Eiji. Before he could start, Ash felt a hand grab his arm.

"Let go! I know you're angry. Trust me we all want to strangle him, but it will cause problems in the long run."

"He killed Eiji." Ash hissed.

"No Eiji's alive. Let go!"

Ash paused. Eiji was alive? Was that true? Could he be allowed to hope like that? The second his hand relaxed, Sing tore it off Yut-Lung. The Chinese boss coughed and sank to the floor, rubbing his throat.

"Yes, he's alive." He rasped from the floor. Sing helped him back into his chair "If you let me finish, I would have explained everything." He glared at Ash. "I gave him some Juliet's Slumber and had Alice Lucid do the rest." Ash's eyes widened. He knew the effects of Juliet's Slumber. He also knew all about Alice's talent. If Yut-Lung's story was true….

Eiji was alive and unharmed.

"Where is he." Ash snarled. Sing looked around the room confused.

"He's supposed to be here…" he shot a questioning look at Yut-Lung.

"He was tired. You're not supposed to move around much after taking the antidote. Eiji thought it was a good idea to charge halfway across New York City then stay up for almost two nights watching his boyfriend. He was about ready to collapse. I sent him to another room to rest." Yut-Lung rubbed the forming bruises on his neck. "Between the three of you, my face has taken quite a beating."

"The three of us?" Sing eyed him. "I slapped you on the cheek, Ash tried to strangle you…" He looked questioningly up at Yut-Lung's forehead.

"Eiji kicked me when my men tried to remove him from this room." Yut-Lung gingerly touched his forehead. "They had his arms, so he was trying to get his legs around my neck. I believe he was trying to strangle me. For such a passive boy he sure is aggressive when it comes to Ash. He really didn't want me to be alone with his precious boyfriend."

"I don't blame him." Sing grumbled. "If I'd known you were going to send Eiji off, I would have come here myself. After what you did, I don't trust you alone with either of them." Yut-Lung clicked his tough disapprovingly and folded his arms.

Ash wasn't really listening. He only heard enough to confirm that Eiji was alright. If his boyfriend could kick Yut-Lung, then those injuries were fake. Without another word, Ash turned and stormed out of the room

"Where are you going?" Sing asked alarmed.

"To find Eiji."

"You two are ridiculous." Yut-Lung scoffed. "You should stay in bed before you-"

"If I hear another word from you, I'll tea-"

"Alright calm down. I'll show you where he is." Sing quickly lead the way from the room. Ash turned and followed him.

Eiji looked so peaceful sleeping…or at least Ash hoped he was just sleeping. He didn't truly believe Yut-Lung at all. He trusted Sing more but it still seemed too good to be true. The image of Eiji's mangled corpses kept popping into his head. Ash stood at the doorway afraid to get too close. What if Eiji was dead and everyone was lying. Ash knew that if his hopes were shattered again, he would break on the spot. As he stared at his boyfriend, he notched that the gashes and bruises were gone from his body. He took some heart from that. Perhaps Eiji really was sleeping. From this distance, Ash couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. A sudden wave of fear him. What if when he touched Eiji and his body was cold and lifeless.

Slowly and fearfully Ash forced himself to enter the room. Each step took effort. He wanted to run away. He wanted to run to Eiji. He wanted to check. He didn't want to know. He had to know. He couldn't bear it if Eiji was dead. He was going to crack if he didn't check. He was going to shatter if Eiji was dead.

Ash kept walking until he was looked down at the sleeping Japanese. Slowly he held out a shaking hand and touched his hand.

It was warm.

Ash gave a sob as he took the hand in his and sunk to his knees. The warm hand curled slightly at Ash's touch. He rested his head on his boyfriend's chest. He could hear Eiji's beautiful heartbeat.

"Ash?"

Ash pulled his head up to find Eiji awake and watching him. His brown eyes were full of life. Ash could stare at them forever. Eiji raised a shaking hand and put it to Ash's cheek.

"You are real right? I'm not dreaming."

"That's my line." Ash breathed. Eiji's hand shook a little as he brought it back down to his side. Ash was shocked to see anger in Eiji's tear-filled eyes.

"Don't do that ever again!" He cried. "If I ever do die please don't go on a rampage. Don't throw your life away like that. I don't want you to die. I don't want more death on your hands. I want you to live. To smile. Even if it's hard. You'd find someone better eventually."

Ash stared at him his mouth open in shock. How could Eiji say any of that? If Eiji died it would be Ash's fault. Move on? Find someone better? That was absurd. There was no one better. If the one good thing in his life died, he wouldn't deserve a second chance.

"How would I move on?" Ash croaked. "You're my everything. Besides…" Ash closed his eyes and took in a shuttering breath. "You have no idea how horrible it was finding you in the alleyway. I thought…I thought…" he couldn't finish it. He couldn't even start to describe any of it to Eiji. How could he put into words his thoughts when he saw fond Eiji lying there, eyes open and full of pain and fear. How could he describe his own feeling when he looked at Eiji's body and discovered that Eiji's insides were pulled out, probably while he was still alive. How could he describe what it was like to realize that Eiji had died very slowly and painfully?

"Ash." Eiji's voice was soft again. "I'm ok." When Ash opened his eyes, he found his boyfriend sitting up in bed. The image of mutilated Eiji vanished as he looked at his boyfriend over. Eiji was bright and filled brimming with life. There was on pain written on his face or features. Ash reached forward and placed a hand on Eiji's cheek.

"Thank you." He didn't know who he was thanking. God? The Universe? Angles? Yut-Lung? Eij? Sing? It didn't matter. Whatever reason Eiji was still alive he was thankful for it.

"I'm sorry." Eiji's words caught him off guard. What on Earth was Eiji apologizing for?

"I should have been more careful." Eiji eyes were filled with tears again as he looked at Ash. "You suffered so much because of me. I could see everything. That drug made it so that I had to watch you suffer and I couldn't do a single thing about it" He broke off and sniffed. Ash felt his blood go cold.

"You saw me…" he dropped his hand and looked away embarrassed. "God, I made such a scene."

"I never knew." Eiji gulped "I mean I knew you would be extremely upset if I died, but I never really thought of it…How you would suffer…I never want you to suffer again." Eiji reached out and pulled Ash into a hug. "I never want to be the reason you suffer. I'm sorry. I caused you more pain then I'm probably worth."

"You're worth everything." Ash hugged him back, scooping his boyfriend in his arms. It felt nice to hold him. They sat there in silence for a little while. Finally, Ash away back. He frowned as a thought occurred to him.

"If they didn't hurt you, does that mean that I killed innocent people?" Ash ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know anything about them. Damn, I really messed up."

"They weren't innocent." Eiji snorted. "They were mercenaries. Trust me, Sing was telling me the different things they did." He put a hand on Ash's shoulder. "I know that doesn't change the fact that you killed more people but please don't think about it right now. Just relax." Ash clenched his fists. All of this hurt. He had done so many things. Even if this was fake it also showed how easy Eiji could be caught and killed. Before he could say anything however Eiji yawned. Ash's fists unclenched as he looked softly at his boyfriend.

"Let's not talk about this tonight. I just got you back and we're both tired." He leaned forward and slipped into the bed with Eiji.

"I'm just so happy." Eiji gently touched Ash's face. "I get to do this again. I really thought you were going to die."

"I thought you were dead." Ash gulped. "The facked that I'm with you now feels unreal." He gathered Eiji in his arms and closed his eyes. He could feel Eiji pressed against him. He was surrounded by warmth and love.

You know." He muttered "I'm not completely convinced we aren't dead. After all, how could heaven be better than this?" Ash could feel Eiji laugh against his chest.

"Who knows."

And with that they both were silent, enjoying each other's company until sleep came to them. The nightmare was over.