Okay, so. Quick A.N warning. I've been agonizing over this detour of a chapter the past week trying to get it sounding right and trying to explain myself/my bizarre concocted plot. I'm revealing a lot about a new face I've brought in, and I'm revealing it pretty quickly. If there's some stuff that seems unanswered or confusing or thrown in out of the blue, it's gonna be explored more down the road. I promise. Just trying to set the stage a little as it were for future stuff. Yeah, at this rate I think this fic is gonna go on forever. :P
Anyway, please be gentle with me here. And thanks so so much lipamo, Bookworm, and EpicStelena, so glad you're doing better! Hopefully you'll all stick with me after this. Here goes nothing. :/
Staring wide eyed at the name on the tab, her left hand trembling as she held it Frances opened the folder a crack with her right one. Quickly she skimmed the documents, then used her phone to photograph them. Realized why Saul had been so against anyone seeing them besides him.
Eyes narrowed now in a glare she shook her head, scoffed. Wondered why she was so surprised that her suspicions all these years had been confirmed, that she was fucking right about the goddamn son of a bitch and had been all along.
Too caught up examining the details of the shady, fucked up, too fucking familiar to her op, she didn't realize Saul had stirred, opened his eyes.
Hearing him shift around in bed though she jumped, turned, slammed the folder shut before setting it down. Throwing her phone in her bag she froze in place. Maybe if she stayed quiet, he'd stop staring at her with that curious twinkle in his eyes. Wouldn't be able to identify her.
When he swore though, called her a name she hadn't heard in decades, eyes welling up she shook her head.
"I'm sorry. You're...you're thinking of someone else.", she said, hearing her voice break and cursing herself for letting it. Bowing her head, quickly leaving his room she almost collided with a nurse making rounds. Luckily one who didn't recognize her.
"Ma'am? Is everything alright?"
"No, no. The...the patient in that room, he..."
Using her emotional state to her advantage Frances shook her head, rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"I asked if he needed a magazine or something from a volunteer cart, and he started insisting I was someone else. Someone that he knew. I'm not sure if he was hallucinating from pain he was in or because of his medication, but he seemed very distressed and out of sorts.", she sniffed. "It was upsetting to watch. I'm not a doctor, but I think that a sedative would be of some help to him."
Nodding, after the nurse thanked her, ran over to Saul's room Frances ran over to the lounge where her bag and jacket were stashed. Grabbing them she ran to and down the back stairwell, reaching an exit door to a side parking lot.
Once there, after unlocking, getting into her car she pulled out of the lot. Her knuckles turning white from gripping the wheel so tightly. Swearing when she ran a red light, heard three people lay on their horns, she knew she ought to pull over before she wound up getting pulled over.
But she knew she needed to get back, breathe, wrap her mind around things, regroup, remind herself why she was risking everything being here at all.
It wasn't so she could reminisce and remember, try and relive the past. As much as she wished it could be.
That couldn't happen when she had people counting on her. Who needed her to remain in the present, keep the plan they'd put together top priority.
Unclenching her right hand from the wheel she flipped on the radio to a jazz preset, turned up the volume. Maybe if she played music loud enough it would drown out the sound of his gruff, soft voice. Calling her that. The name of that person she hadn't been since two days after she'd sent her youngest off to college.
All because of another person who's name in fucking black all caps was burned into her brain. And would be until he was fucking eliminated.
Pulling into the motel parking lot, parking her car on an odd angle but not giving a shit, Frances locked it then cut over to the manager's office.
"Evening, ma'am.", the man behind the desk greeted. "Something I can help you with?"
"I tried to speak with the man at the desk last night, but he was inebriated and not exactly up to talking to anyone.", she snorted.
"I only paid for a week long stay. I would like to extend it."
"Ma'am, I don't know if you were told when you checked in, but we don't like stays to exceed a week. We're not just a typical motel."
"Well how much money will it take for you to become typical?", she asked, pulling out her bag and retrieving a rubber banded stack of bills.
"Not that much! Jesus Christ! You rob a bank or something?"
"I was taught to save for a rainy day.", she said coolly as she handed the cash over. Figuring today was about as rainy as it got.
"This is still way too much, I-"
"Then do me a favor. Use it as an incentive to ensure your discretion about my being here. I don't need nosy maids or help disturbing me. I can keep a room perfectly clean without assistance. And if anyone does catch onto my being here..."
"I don't know you. Never saw your pretty face a day in my life.", the man said nervously as she nodded.
"Good. I'm glad we understand each other."
Leaving the desk she cut over to her room, took the key from her bag. But her hands were trembling so much she had trouble opening the door.
"Shit.", she spat. Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath to settle down she finally managed. Ducked inside the door before locking, securing it. Using the bolts and a few set up anti-intrusion devices. Setting her bag down on the bed, when a turquoise card fell from it she frowned. Picked it up before tearing up.
Swallowing hard, then swearing when her contacts began reacting she ran into the dingy bathroom. Removing her glasses, she flipped on the light before forcing the goddamned things out of her eyes. Still crying even after they were out to the point she had trouble catching her breath.
The save the date card, Carrie, Saul, the file he'd had, the name he'd called her. The fact that she couldn't even go by it anymore in front of anyone who mattered.
Arms braced on the vanity, her hands gripped the side of it as she looked blearily into the mirror. Beyond tempted to smash her head into it but knowing causing herself harm wouldn't do anyone any good. Harming who deserved it though...
Iciness and newfound determination filling her eyes, she moved her hand to her hair. Slowly started removing the auburn locks that were fastened to her head in too many painful places, revealing her short blonde pixie cropped hair underneath. Frowning after seeing a few grays, she contemplated making the wig a permanent fixture. But then thought better of it. At least now she looked more like herself.
Wanting to feel more like herself too, as opposed to Frances the mousey, timid, hospital volunteer, Ann walked back over to her bed, retrieved a locked strongbox from underneath it. Sitting on the bed, once opening it she took out the contents, including a burner phone.
Biting her lip she picked it up, dialed a number she'd long had memorized.
"Yes, I'd like to speak with Ms. Adal, sorry...Ms. Amir.", Ann sighed, waiting for the assistant to put her through.
"You are lucky we are not on an open line.", Sabina sighed, running a hand through her long black hair.
"Sorry. I'm a little distracted. Being here. Being back..."
"It is better than where you were a month ago."
Shuddering at the memory, Ann nodded. Launched into her reason for calling. "The joe you arranged for me to meet. Esperanza."
"You have worked out a suitable arrangement with her?"
"Anything I need she puts into my volunteer cart at the hospital. There's a storage compartment at the base of it."
"Well obviously you have received the burner phone. What about the needed ID's?"
"I have them. Fake passport, social security card, even a nurses tag for Ms. Frances Jacobson.", she scoffed, rolling her eyes at the picture on the tag before setting it down. Unlocking another compartment of the strongbox, she smiled.
"I'm also developing a nice little arsenal.", Ann smiled, removing two Berettas, bullets, and a gun cleaning kit.
"What about the contact information? Have you received it?"
"Espy's working on getting it to me. Soon as she does I can set up the face to face with Dar. Start enlightening your half brother.", Ann sighed, not exactly looking forward to that so much as her other task.
"And you will tell him everything? About the op, Andrew drafting it and assigning it to dispose of us threats?"
"Don't call that cocksucker by his first name.", she spat.
"Ann...", Sabina sighed. "I understand what has-"
"Excuse me, you understand? Were you the one he wanted out of the country, or out of the picture entirely? Because I was selected to head up the team that he deliberately sent into harms way. And when all was said and done and I was thought dead, you were the one set up with a new cushy cover. Complete with a new identity and an office job. How is that adoption agency anyway?", Ann snarled, but felt her colleague's glare through the phone.
"If it was not for my cushy cover you would still be in captivity! I could have easily put my contacts and resources to use for myself and left you behind!"
"And gone where?", she scoffed. "One step out of line or out of Baghdad would've put you in the same shithole as me!"
"He trapped both of us, Ann."
"He at least was willing to let you live. And if it hadn't been for your relation to Dar I doubt that would have been the case."
"What about your relative?", Sabina interrupted, wanting this difficult subject changed. "Are you going to try and seek your daughter out? Carrie?", she asked curiously.
"I can't, Sabina. I refuse to do that to her.", Ann said softly. "She's trying to escape all of it. Langley. That life. She has a child, a daughter. And another one on the way with a man she cares deeply for. She's content. It's all I've ever wanted for her and I'll be damned if any of that is taken away. Not by me. And certainly not by him."
"Wait, you are not saying-"
"Saul Berenson is working to protect her from Lockhart. Apparently he sees her and her team as threatening as he did me and mine."
"Like mother like daughter I suppose."
"I don't want her within a foot of our mess. She's done nothing to deserve that. She's dealt with enough because of..."
Trailing off she sniffed back tears, swallowed hard.
"I've seen her and I know she's safe. Now I have to make sure that we'll be. The only way that's going to happen is if a certain someone is out of the picture."
"Well if you are not careful you will wind up out of the picture.", Sabina said, trying to hide the fear in her voice.
"I won't let that happen. I know what I have to do.. And now that we have proof of what we suspected all this time.."
Tasting bile just thinking about Lockhart signing off on the op, Ann's jaw clenched and her eyes went cold before she recited their plan back.
"I take care of Lockhart, and tell Dar exactly what lengths his trusted colleague has gone to to ensure their positions in the Company. Hopefully mentioning what he did to you will sway him to side with us."
"I hope so." Sabina sighed as Ann nodded.
"I have to go, but I'll keep you posted.", she said, saying goodbye before hanging up. Stashing the burner back in the strongbox, she locked it and everything else away for the night. Then stretched back on the old, springy mattress, reached to flip the radio on that was on her nightstand. Switching it to the jazz station she'd had on in the car she tried her best to relax. Let her mind wander back.
"Mommy look! I did it see! You asked me and I plant it!"
"You mean that you planted it, sweetheart."
"Yeah I meant that.", Carrie giggled, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the other side of the flower bed. Kneeling down she showed off the small patch of marigold plants, looking nervously between them and her mother.
"I did it right though, right? I didn't mess up?"
"Well, I'm afraid that this one is a little crooked..", Ann frowned. Kneeling down she adjusted the dirt around one of the plants, tried to keep it from tipping over. Not noticing that Carrie's chin was starting to quiver. Shaking her head, the girl quickly moved to sit in front of her.
"No I gotta fix it! It's my job, I gotta!"
"Honey, it's okay-"
"No it's not, I missed it! I missed that one and now it's all messed up!"
Tears running down her face she sniffed, wiped her face with her hand not frantically readjusting the plant.
"Carrie..."
"No!", she choked out, shaking her head as she tried, failed to keep the plant from drooping over more. Seeing her frustration Ann sighed, pulled her onto her lap. Carrie squirmed at first but eventually wore herself out, turned to hide her tear stained face against Ann's shoulder.
"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay.", Ann lightly laughed, holding her close and rubbing her back.
"You were a very big help today! I wouldn't have gotten any work done out here without your help."
"But I...I messed up.", Carrie hiccuped as Ann sighed, kissed her daughter's light blond hair that was presently pulled back in a French braid.
"It's nothing that can't be fixed though, sweetheart. I swear."
Pulling back Carrie frowned at her, wiping her nose with her sleeve before holding out her hand, her pinky raised.
"You have to pinky swear it."
"Oh, I do?", Ann teased, getting a look.
"Yeah! If you don't, Daddy says it doesn't mean a god damn thing.", Carrie said, met with a gasp and a loudly yelled "FRANK!" Getting her giggling.
"What? Did he tell me a bad word again?", she grinned.
Rolling her eyes, Ann went to scoop her up, bring her inside. But before she could Carrie slid out of her arms, raced away from the back flower bed, around the side of the cabin and onto the porch.
"Hey now you hold on! Carrie! WAIT!"
Reaching the porch, just as Carrie was about to jump off the far side of it, Ann paused, looked across the way at her and smirked. Took a step forward to try and fake her out, get her running again.
Calling her bluff though Carrie grinned, didn't move a muscle as Ann shook her head, approached her.
"You, my dear, are too smart for your own good. You know that?"
"And too fast, right?"
"Yes. You are too smart. Too fast. Soon you're going to be too big for me to do this!", she laughed, throwing her over her shoulder and tickling her.
"Mommy stop, stop it!", Carrie squeaked between giggles before Ann let up, set her down inside on the pullout. Plopping down next to her she leaned back, laughed when Carrie climbed onto her lap, reached for something in her sweatshirt pocket.
"What's that?", Ann asked.
"A flower."
"I can see that. Do you know what kind?"
"Yeah. A sunflower. I picked it. Not outta the garden though."
"Did you pick it for me?"
Getting a nod, small smile, Ann smiled back, thanked her before stretching back on the pullout. Lightly laughing as Carrie snuggled against her, still holding the flower tightly as she dozed off.
Reaching over onto the nightstand, taking hold of a sunflower she'd plucked from the vase, Ann sighed, held it close. Squeezing her eyes shut against tears she curled up in a small ball on her side. Eventually managing to get some sleep.