Chapter Thirty-Five: Operation: Distraction

After that, Mikey whisked Saja away to play something called a "video game." Don came along to help translate Mikey's excited instructions and make sure she understood how to play, then wandered out, despite Mikey's invitation—he muttered something about not showing off. It was surreal not only personally using technology, but using it to play a game, but Mikey's enthusiasm allowed little time to dwell on the strangeness. After a while, Saja even had fun.

Eventually, Raph, trailed by Casey, came in and said it was lunchtime. Is it really time for noonmeal? Saja thought, surprised. I suppose I am hungry, now that I pause a moment. Mikey insisted on "finishing the level."

Then everyone flooded into the kitchen. With amiable chaos, the turtles tossed bags of sliced meat, sliced bread, thin spongy plates, and various sauces and spreads onto the table. Saja watched in awe as the locals waded in; green arms reached in for this or that, chattering all the while.

Taevon, chuckling, grabbed two plates and some brown bread. "This is a popular Earth food—it's called a 'sandwich.' Here, this bread is closest to home." He handed her a plate with two slices of bread.

"Thank you," Saja said, but Taevon had already stepped forward. "Where's the mustard? I used it yesterday…"

Don, finished sandwich in hand, appeared at her elbow. "Sorry, didn't mean to abandon you, but it was easier to let the hyenas in first. So, to put on your bread first, we have different types of lunchmeat. Do you like things plain, or would you like something spicy—hot kind of spicy, I mean? Then there's cheese, too—do you want a mild kind, or something a bit sharp? We even have jalapeño cheddar, if you like hot cheese."

Saja chose fairly mild options: "turkey" and plain "cheddar." In the meantime, green hands opened crinkly, colorful packages with a snap. "Barbeque for Raph," Mikey cried, handing over a red bag, "salt and vinegar for Leo, sour cream for Casey, cool ranch for Don, and cheese pringles for yours truly. Choose whatever you want, Taevon and Saja!" After smelling each, Saja poured a few of each onto her plate.

From a rectangular glass pan on the counter, Mikey plopped a square of something brown on the last empty spot on her plate. When she looked up from it at the turtle, he wore a huge grin. I guess that's something good.

By this point, all the ingredients had vanished off the table, leaving plates and glasses. The turtles and their human friend had started taking seats; Casey carried in a spare chair from another room. Saja had already spotted a chair that didn't match the others that must have been brought in for Taevon yesterday when she was sleeping.

Master Splinter strolled in, and Leo slid a full plate over to the place he was moving toward. "I went ahead and made it for you, Sensei, while all the lunch stuff was out."

"Thank you, my son." The aged rat smiled.

Don pulled out the empty chair beside him. "C'mon, Saja."

Noonmeal was amazing. The food was odd, but good, and eating with others, especially those who apparently called her a friend, was even more so. She liked all the "chips," as she learned they were called, except the salt and vinegar ones. The brown square turned out to be something called a "brownie," and never had Saja tasted something so amazing. Her astonishment both amused and pleased the turtles.

After chatting and clean up, Don took Saja off to his lab, where he had prepared an English lesson. He explained some grammar rules and concepts that helped ease Saja's confusion with their tongue—namely, that English liked to break its own rules and had absorbed many words and ideas from many languages.

The purple-masked turtle was a patient teacher, although he occasionally forgot his audience and trailed off on some fascinating linguistic tangent. It's a pity I don't know more of the tongues of this world, since I actually would be interested if I had enough background to understand, Saja thought, fiddling with some mysterious metal piece as she waited for the genius to finish his idea. I like languages.

Just when Saja thought her mind was going to melt out her ears, Raph knocked on the doorframe. "Yo, brainiac, she's in a coma—stop talkin'. C'mon, Saja."

Thank you, Saja thought gratefully, followed immediately by, Not that it wasn't informative and interesting—the parts that I understood, and, Where does he want me to go? Saja thanked her teacher as Raph tugged her gently but firmly out by the wrist.

After a brief pit stop, Raph led the way into the big padded room, bristling with various intimidating weapons, that Saja had heard referred to as the "dojo." Casey and Taevon stood at a distance, talking, while Leo stood waiting near the entrance.

Raph plopped down on a seat. "I can't teach ya English or culture or whatever like Don can; the only thing I know is fightin', and sounds like ya never been trained. I'm not s'posed to do heavy stuff yet, so I'm jus' gonna watch from here and whatever, but I figured between Leo an' me-" he gestured toward Leo- "we could teach ya somethin' useful."

Saja swallowed. "I'm… honored by your attention. I… every time I pull out my knife, it is terrifying." Act brave like the great Parvoss. He wouldn't be scared by a simple offer to learn some fighting.

Leo nodded. "So your knife is your only weapon?"

"Yes."

"We thought so," Raph muttered, and handed her a dull black knife. "This is a training kunai. It's not sharp. Try to hit Leo with it, so we get a sense of what level yer at. Don said he disarmed ya, but we wanna see fer ourselves."

"Uhh…" They want me to… try to hit him? He's wearing his swords, but he hasn't taken even one of them out. Even if this training session is their idea, I don't want to hurt anyone. Saja fingered the training kunai. Well, Raph is right that it's not sharp, but still.

"You won't hurt me, I promise," Leo said, smiling. "Don's an amazing fighter, but he hasn't devoted his life to the mastery of ninjutsu in quite the same way I have."

After a brief internal debate, Saja set aside her reservations and obeyed the turtles. Leo dodged her first experimental swipes as easily as if he was avoiding puddles during a leisurely stroll, so Saja started actually trying. She could feel Raph's eyes on her, but she focused on the turtle before her as she attacked in a flurry of slashes and stabs. Leo's slender blade appeared, but only to block her weapon.

Just when Saja wondered how long she was to attack someone who wasn't attacking back, Leo said, "That's enough," and disengaged.

Saja stepped back. The turtles looked at each other.

"She's fast," Raph said. "Kinda all over th' place, though."

"She's focused," Leo said. "Once she got going, all her energy was on the task." He turned to her. "You did well for a beginner, Saja. You show a lot of potential."

Saja cast her eyes down. "Thank you." How strange to hear praise for the barest skill I've learned in defending myself. She fingered the kunai.

The blue-masked turtle sheathed his weapon. "What would you do if you lost your knife in a fight? If it was hand-to-hand fighting?"

The girl looked up, a cold touch of fear racing through her at just the idea and the memories it stirred up. "Flee."

She could feel Leo watching her; he crossed his arms and stood in a relaxed position. "What if you were chased and cornered?"

"Pretend a monster is standing where Leo is," Raph said. "What would ya do right here?"

Act brave; this is just training. Saja straightened and glanced around. There are many weapons here. She pointed. "I would jump over the bench where you're sitting and get to those weapons. I'd throw a few, and then grab one."

Raph grinned. "Now yer thinkin.'"

"Good." Leo nodded. "Let's try some basics that will match your fighting style."

Saja frowned. My fighting style? Does he mean how I fought when they watched me a moment ago? She fidgeted with the training knife again. That's not normal. I would not fight someone who wasn't fighting back.

"What are you thinking, Saja?" Leo's soft voice interrupted her mental objections; she started.

She shook her head. "Nothing of note."

"You can tell us," Raph growled. "We want this ta be helpful ta you—that's th' whole point."

Saja hesitated. Both turtles regarded her patiently. They really do want to know? "I… don't normally fight like that. I never fight someone who does not fight back. Instead, I am the one who fights back."

"That was just an assessment, but…" Leo scratched at his chin. "I hear what you're saying. You're a defensive fighter, not an offensive one."

"Like Donnie," Raph put in.

Saja's eyebrows rose. "B-but he attacked me."

"No, he was defendin' himself an' his home. If ya knew how many enemies we have…" Raph growled. "Don is normally th' most defensive fighter out of any of us."

Leo shifted his feet. "Don also likes to think his way out of a fight. Say, for example, he might climb up to over an enemy to drop something on its head, or maybe use electricity to give it a nasty shock. He'd rather outsmart an enemy than defeat him directly." He pointed his chin toward her. "It sounds like you might favor that style as well."

I suppose I do. If I must fight, I try to do the least amount of actual fighting possible. "I hadn't thought about it. You're right. Defeating an enemy is unlikely for me, so I run or hide or distract him."

"Unfortunately, we can't teach ya that. That depends on what's around ya an' fast thinkin'."

"But we can teach you some basic defense skills, so that when you have to fight, you stand a better chance." Leo tucked a thumb in the strap that ran across his chest. "We can fit them to your defensive style. How does that sound?"

Much better. Saja nodded.

The lesson began in earnest. The turtles taught Saja several blocks, dodges, and tricks. They showed her a better way to hold her knife. At Raph's suggestion, Leo demonstrated how body language and shifting feet might reveal an opponent's next move. They also instructed her on keeping on the move during a fight, and using her greater agility and small size to her advantage. Raph pointed out that the hilt of her knife could be just as dangerous as the blade, and called Casey over to model potentially weak areas, like the kidney or solar plexus, of an enemy. Taevon leaned against the wall, out of the way, and watched with interest. Leo then staged a slow-motion match with Casey to let Saja watch these new ideas in action.

There is so much to learn from these new friends. I wish I had met them at the beginning of my exile. Perhaps they will be willing to give me further instruction when I visit in the future—oh. Sudden dread washed over Saja as she remembered what tomorrow's future held. If I yet live and am able to travel.

Leo was talking, and Saja, with effort, shook off these troubling thoughts to pay attention. He wanted her to try an array of weapons; he suspected that a different, longer-reach weapon would suit her better than her knife. Saja eyed the great array of weapons. That's a lot of weapons… almost enough for the whole army of Da'an. It would take… a long time to try them all properly. Her shoulders sagged.

"Nah, bro, she needs somethin' small and quick—her style is defensive, but also fast. But, uh, Leo-" Raph jabbed a thumb toward Saja; she turned her gaze downward, but she sensed he had seen the look in her eyes- "she's lookin' a little overwhelmed."

"Then we'll save it for another day," Leo said firmly. "We've accomplished plenty. Well done, Saja. Time to rest."

Saja shook herself out of her daze when she heard her name and the praise. Be graceful and thankful, like Lady Lamaki. "Thank you—thank you for taking the time to teach me."

As the group trailed out of the hallway, the two turtles exchanged a whisper or two before Leo turned to walk backwards and ask, "Did you want to hang out with Don or Mikey now? It's a little over an hour before supper. Or if you need to rest, you can take a nap in either Don's room or mine."

"A nap sounds lovely—unless I'd be disappointing someone, or inconveniencing someone," Saja added in a rush.

As Taevon and Casey wandered off, the three of them paused in the living room, near the couch that had served as Saja's makeshift bed for this adventure.

Raph, leaning against the back of what Saja had learned was Master Splinter's chair, waved a hand. "Ya can knock off that 'I'm worse than everybody' thinkin' anytime—yer not a bother, an' we wouldn't offer things if we didn't mean it. As fer Don an' Mikey, Don's always got about a million projects goin' on, and Mikey's disappointed if we don't let him parachute from the Empire State Building, but he gets over it."

Surprise prevented a response; Leo shot a look at his brother but said, "Which room would you prefer? Have you seen them both?"

No, except the barest of peeks from the doorway in one of the brief times Don was away and I wasn't sleeping—I try so hard to contain my curiosity and my chaloksae.

Raph leaned closer. "Pick Leo's if yer a neatfreak, but Donnie's if ya don't mind some mad scientist clutter."

"If you truly-" Raph is listening—say it without apology. Saja squared her shoulders. "I… thank you for your offer, and I will take you up on it and rest in your room, Leonardo."

Something sparked in the blue-masked turtle's eyes as he glanced at her. "You're welcome, Saja. One of us will come get you a little before the food is ready, in case you fall asleep and need a minute to wake up." He sent her a quick smile and turned to move away.

Raph sighed. "I guess I'll take a breather before supper too… stupid purple drug…" He moved toward the stairs, muttering something about the Othila under his breath.

The girl glanced up at the stairs. A whole hour—I think that's about a sunband—to be alone and rest… although, after a day and more with company, I'm not sure I want to be alone. She picked up her bag from the couch. Oh, well. I can't change my mind now… and I do need the rest, after taking a passenger, and with what's coming tomorrow. Ugh, don't think about that right now. I can't rest if I'm all uptight about that.

"What's the matter, Saja?"

Saja jumped, and turned to find Leo regarding her. I am so glad these four are friends… if they were not, they could have ended me so many times by now.

Leo grinned a crooked little grin. "Sorry; didn't mean to startle you. Sometimes the whole ninja training has its downsides. What's the matter?"

Adjusting her hold on her bag gave her a moment to think. Should I speak the truth? Saja almost blushed, imagining her parents hearing this thought. Of course I should—always tell the truth, unless someone's threatening your life or those who love, in which case just don't say anything. "I… I'm not sure I want to be alone."

The turtle nodded. "I wondered about that. You know, I've got to clean my katanas, and my supplies are in my room. I'll do that, and you can rest, and if you happen to start talking, well, I'll be all ears."

Mikey vibrated with excitement. So far, Operation Distract Saja had gone perfectly—first, introducing her to the world of amazing video games, courtesy of yours truly, then lunch with all kinds of new foods to try, especially Mikey's amazing brownies, if he did say so himself, then a boring language lesson from Don, then fighting basics with Leo and Raph, and now the ultimate best thing ever: introducing a new friend to the wonders of pizza!

Besides that, he'd made chocolate chip cookies, and he, Don, and Taevon had just finished making delicious fruit smoothies with the special yellow berries that helped Jior, and hopefully Casey and Raph, travel across worlds. Raph, sitting at the table and "supervising," had helped the three of them taste-test until the strawberries and other fruit hid the flavor of the alien fruit, so hopefully Saja wouldn't notice them. Mikey felt Extra Sneaky.

In order to get the berries, Taevon had emptied out his shoulder bag, borrowed a backpack, and some baggies and containers. Don had even lent him, against his better judgment, his bottomless duffel bag. Twenty minutes after vanishing from sight with these empty containers, Taevon had returned, looking a little flushed and sweaty, but with a considerable quantity of yellow berries. There was still a bunch of berries left over for tomorrow.

So, pizza, chocolate chip cookies, and Secret Magic Power Berry smoothies—and, to go with it all, a board game! They'd hashed it out earlier. Monopoly was out: too complicated. Too boring too, at least in Mikey's humble opinion. They'd almost chosen Clue. Leo would be Mrs. Peacock, Raph Mr. Green, since he refused to play as Miss Scarlett, Don, Professor Plum—fitting—Mikey as Colonel Mustard, and Saja could take April's usual character of Miss Scarlett, but that still left two players for one character. I would've made our own version when I was a kid, and replaced the weapons with proper ninja stuff and whatever, if Master Splinter had let me.

But Leo and Don had decided that explaining wrenches and lead pipes might be a bit much for Saja, and besides that, the two Jior might disapprove of a game based around a crime. Finally, they'd settled on their worn set of Uno cards: about one and a half decks from at least two editions, adopted from the junkyard. Taevon assured them he could read English numbers, and Saja had apparently read the turtles' old picture books earlier.

So, Mikey hummed to himself, pizza, Secret Magic Power Berry smoothies, chocolate chip cookies, and a fun, easy game. Tonight was going to be great! And tomorrow, they would fix Saja forever!