When Harry had been six, he'd caught chicken pox and had spent a week on Tony's couch watching old movies, including Patton. Now, as he watched Wood pace in front of him and the other members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, he wondered if the older boy had also seen that movie.
"We have a problem," Wood announced.
"Indeed," George responded.
"A grave problem," Fred added.
"Why, it would tip the balance."
"World Shaking."
"Would you two shut it?" Angelina Johnson demanded. "It's too early for the two of you."
"Oh Wood's just mad because Potter has been talking to Cho Chang." George told her.
"It's a security breach!" Wood exclaimed. "She's the enemy!"
"Are you telling me we got dragged down here at bloody sunrise because Potter has a crush?" Katie Bell was Irish, and had the temper to match.
"Security!" Wood argued. "We're never going to take the Cup if Ravenclaw knows our plans."
"We don't even know our plans!" Angelina snapped. "You won't tell us, Potter barely knows the basic maneuvers and Chang isn't much better. She's a second year, Oliver. A twelve year old and this is her first year playing. Espionage is not on her list of skills."
"Not the point," Wood argued.
"It is the point!" Angelina rose to her feet, gesturing. "You want to win the Cup, I get that, but we're a team, Oliver, and being a leader means trusting their team. So, do you trust us?"
"Well, yes, of course, b—"
"No buts, mate," Fred spoke up. "In or out, as the Muggles say."
Oliver grimaced, but he nodded. "In. Of course. Sorry." He reached into his pocket and produced a small box. From another pocket came several small rolls of paper. Laying them on the table, Oliver waved his wand.
"Bloody hell, Oliver!" Angelina exclaimed as the box unfolded into a model of the Pitch, the papers became full sized rolls of charts and diagrams, and tiny little miniatures of the Gryffindor team, the Quaffle, Bludgers, and the Snitch rose out. Other miniatures in Ravenclaw blue, Hufflepuff Yellow and Slytherin Green also emerged and lined up on the stands.
"You've cracked, mate, Fred said, shaking his head. "I'm beyond impressed, but you've cracked."
" . . .And then Oliver made me promise we wouldn't discuss Quidditch, not even professional Quidditch, until after our match," Harry told Cho, attaching the central column of the Orrery to the base. "Sorry."
Cho gave him a smile. "It's all right, I understand."
Harry smiled in return. "Thanks."
For a few minutes, they were quiet, and then Harry opened his mouth to ask her about her thoughts on Bulgaria's chances this year and then realized that was Quidditch, which was a no no.
"What's wrong?" Cho asked and Harry realized he'd been frowning.
"Sorry, I - I was trying to think of something to talk about that wasn't Quidditch."
"Hrm," Cho tapped a screwdriver handle against her lips. "We could talk about ourselves."
"Okay," Harry agreed brightly and politely waited for her to begin.
"Trouble deciding to where to begin?" Cho asked him, clearly puzzled about something.
"Oh no," Harry assured her, "Ladies first."
Cho stared at him then burst out laughing and Harry wondered if it was a British thing. No, Cho was Scottish. A Scottish thing?
"All right," Cho agreed when she'd calmed down. "I was born in Glasgow . . ."
Between Pepper's soup making skills and the bed, Remus recovered from the Full Moon almost overnight, something he hadn't done in years. It was refreshing . . . and if he was to be honest, a little disheartening when compared to his time at Hogwarts. It wasn't that he doubted Madam Pomfrey had cared, but in perspective, he'd come to realize that she had been caring for a werewolf as she had been taught to do so; which was to basically leave it to their healing ability.
"Good Morning, Mr Lupin," Jarvis said as Remus left his room. Pepper had left him some clothes, loose, soft and comfortable. "An apple risotto and a pot of your preferred tea are in the kitchen, and Ms Potts has requested that you join her, Dr Yinsen, and Mr. Stark in the workshop once you have eaten and or are ready."
"I don't think I'll ever be ready," Remus admitted.
"Perhaps not," Jarvis agreed. "However, it is also unlikely that they will object if you bring your meal downstairs."
"Two birds with one stone, hm?" Remus asked as he made his way to the kitchen.
"It is always better to multitask when capable," Jarvis agreed. "However, Mr Stark's . . . direct enthusiasm often leads to a need to have something to do with one's hands. You havre noticed Ms Potts has a pen in her hand when he talks to her, especially when he . . . 'is in a mood'."
"True," Remus agreed and fought down a frown. Jarvis was a machine. Admittedly a very advanced, complex machine, but still a machine. Sure, he could make conversation, but as Remus understood computer science, it was nothing more than a series of algorithms driving an extremely advanced random pattern subprogram. But Jarvis' observation about Pepper fiddling with a pen when Tony talked was just that; actual observation and identification of a pattern. While it was possible, Remus supposed, for Jarvis to be just that advanced -his primary purpose was research and pattern recognition- this seemed like more than that.
Could Jarvis be sentient? It was possible. Old wizarding houses had an . . . awareness, but that took generations of wizarding families living there, and Stark's house was nowhere near that old.
Resolving to look into the matter later, Remus removed the risotto from the oven and poured himself a mug of tea. "Well," he said, taking a deep breath, "once more unto the breach, eh?"
"'Follow your spirit, and upon this charge Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George'," Jarvis replied. "Henry's intent was to inspire his followers with courage and a belief in their victory."
"Courage," Remus mused. "Well God knows that will come in handy."
"'Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.'" Jarvis quoted as Remus headed for the elevator.
"Caesar also died," Remus pointed out.
"Indeed," Jarvis said, "but he only died once."
Well, Jarvis wasn't wrong.
Pepper, Tony and Yinsen had been having some sort of discussion and Remus' arrival didn't stop them at all, though Pepper gave him a quick smile.
"But why does OSHA have to come in here?" Tony demanded. "This is mine. My house. Mine."
"Tony," Pepper sighed. "You conduct Stark Industries business here. You spend more time working in here than you do at the office. With all the new fabrication equipment, this is no longer just a home workshop, especially since the purchase of that equipment was through SI supply lines. Legally, this has become a satellite office of Stark Industries, which means OSHA is within its rights to inspect it."
"Not to mention that pit you've built," Yinsen added.
"The pit is for reasons," Tony replied, his face taking on an expression of extreme stubbornness.
"Reasons that you will not share with us," Pepper complained, "and if anyone in this room has a right to know those reasons it's me because if this blows up—"
"Nothing is going to blow up," Tony replied. "I— look, I had an idea for some assembly equipment and to save space, I'm putting the rig in the pit. That's all."
Pepper's face expressed doubt that Tony was telling the whole truth, but she nodded because it was a good explanation. It was logical and concise and looked good on a press release if you needed to make one.
"But I digress," Tony continued, "Balto is awake and eating, so we should probably get that discussion out of the way."
"Balto was a husky, Tony," Pepper said.
"I'm saving the Lon Cheney jokes for a special occasion," Tony replied.
"But how did you know?" Remus asked.
"Know what?" Tony asked, baffled.
"That I was a werewolf!" Remus exclaimed. "You've been making wolf jokes since day one!"
"Dude, your name is Remus Lupin. In Latin that's like saying your name is Wolf McWolf. I've been riffing on that."
It was Pepper's turn to look baffled. "Tony, how did you know that?"
"Uh, hello, Potts. My mother was a devout Roman Catholic." Pepper stared at him blankly. "I speak Latin, Pepper. Damn near fluent."
Pepper raised her eyes skyward and muttered something that sounded like a brief prayer.
"So it's like this," Tony continued, turning to Remus. "If we're gonna get rid of Non Hanna Barbara Fangface, we need to figure out just what actually happens when he comes out."
"What's to figure out?" Remus asked bitterly. "I lose all my humanity once a month."
"Humor us," Tony replied.
"And if this doesn't work?" Remus asked. "What if I kill one of you? Or worse, pass on my curse? What then?"
"What is that?" Yinsen asked, looking past Tony towards the garage doors.
"It's a dog," Tony replied, glancing at the doors and then looking back to Remus. "We have to be able to—" Tony broke off, eyes wide and he turned back to the doors. "Why is there a dog in my garage? Pepper, why is there a dog in my garage?"
"It's okay Mr. Stark," Remus told him, "I'll handle this." Setting his plate aside, Remus walked over to the dog, who had sat on its haunches and was watching him curiously. "They know," Remus told the dog, "so you may as well change back."
The dog looked up at Remus, as though considering, and then rose up on its hind legs . . . and kept going, blurring and resolving into the shape of a man dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, hair cropped short and his face slightly haggard.
"Hello, Remus," he said, his voice scratchy from disuse.
"Sirius," Remus replied, and punched him in the face.
Sirius tumbled backwards, coming up in a sitting position and gingerly touched his jaw. "I deserved that, I suppose."
"That and more," Remus' fists were tightly clenched.
Sirius nodded. "Whenever you're ready, then."
For a moment, it seemed like Remus was going to, but then he sighed, and pulled Sirius to his feet and into a tight hug. "It's good to see you, Pads."
For a moment, Sirius froze, but then he returned the hug just as tightly. "Good to see you too, Moony."
A Letter To You, The Readers
December 3, 2020
Earlier this year, J.K. Rowling, who created a wondrous world, came out as transphobic and a bigot. While I've seen some call for separating the work from the author, I find that, at this time at least, I cannot do that. I may never be able to do that. Several of my friends, people I know personally, one of them my best friend, are trans. And even if they weren't, it remains that I cannot contribute to the HP fandom because there is no place in any world for hating someone simply because of how they were born.
Someday, perhaps, Rowling may come to realize that her beliefs are wrong and attempt amends for the hurt she's caused. Someday, perhaps, I may be able to return to these stories without the ugly shadow of hate that now hangs over the fandom. In the hopes of that, I am marking "Two Wizards" as On Hiatus, rather than Discontinued. "Sue" has also been marked the same way for the same reasons.
Until we meet again at Hogwarts' gates,
Ragman Jack
Author's Notes:
Remus and Jarvis are quoting the beginning and ending of Henry's speech from Shakespeare's "Henry V". Jarvis also quotes from "Julius Caesar", also by Shakespeare. However, nothing tops The Bard's stage direction of "Exit, pursued by a bear" from "The Winter's Tale".
I have no idea if this is how a place of business and manufacturing is actually determined, but screw it, the idea of Tony's workshop being inspected for health and safety violations is hilarious.
I've been sitting on that Latin line since Chapter 2, which, given how slowly I write, has been literal years. Yikes.
"Fangface" was one of many Hanna Barbara series which utilized the formula of "cool powers plus hapless schmuck equals comedy".