Okay here's the latest. This chapter was a difficult one to get out, for a lot of reasons. Please forgive the angst. And thanks so so muchly lipamo and Bookworm for the reviewage! Hope you have it in you to stick with me after this. Take as you will.
After getting out of the shower, wrapped in just a towel, Carrie went out front to borrow, possibly steal, Brody's flannel shirt she'd seen neatly folded on the recliner in the living room. It was big enough on her to be a suitable bathrobe and had the added bonus of smelling like him. Maybe if she played her cards right he'd be trying to get her out of it later.
Smile filling her face at the thought, she crept down the hall to the den only to feel a rush of cold, damp air hit her skin. "What the..."
Looking to see the screen door in the kitchen was wide open, grabbing her jacket off the kitchen counter, she threw it on along with some sweatpants, used the towel to pat her still dripping hair dry before dropping it, running out onto the porch.
It was cold and dark and and windy and the thunderstorm from earlier had only gotten worse. Carrie knew she had no business being out here, especially with still wet hair, but then again neither did he this late.
Seeing his silhouette pacing around on the dock near the picnic table she shook her head, ran off the porch.
"Brody?! BRODY!", she yelled, trying to be heard over the rain. When he didn't react though she knew it was a wasted effort. "Jesus fucking Christ."
Pulling her jacket tighter around her she ran onto the dock. Moved to stand directly in his path.
"C..Carrie? What-"
"What do you mean what! You're outside in the middle of a goddamn thunderstorm!"
Seeing the bottle in his hand that was mostly drained, she shook her head, snorted. "You're drunk!"
"C'mon...like you've never been drunk before.", Brody scoffed, getting her glaring.
"It's freezing out here and you're soaked through. C'mon!"
"No! I...I'm staying here! I...I wanna stay out here."
Moving away from her he plopped down to sit on the edge of the dock. His feet dangling off the side, he swigged down some more bourbon before reaching back, setting the bottle on the picnic table bench.
"Why?!", Carrie yelled. "So you can catch the fucking flu!"
"I'm not cold.", Brody shrugged, shaking his head. "I'm a deserting fucking asshole, but at least I'm not cold!", he chuckled as the rain continued drenching her and him both.
"What the fuck do you mean, Brody?! You're not-"
"Amy Pike on the five o'clock news said so. So did Craig whats his face on channel two. What was his fucking name? I...I used to like him."
"They're wrong, Brody. Craig-"
"Craig's never wrong. That...that's why I liked him."
"He's wrong about this! Look, Lauder made this shit up, the press ran with it. It's all lies, I told you that! They're all wrong!"
"Doesn't really matter though, does it?", Brody asked, looking as defeated as he felt. "I'm as hated now as I was two years ago."
"Brody..."
"Rex, Mike and Jessica...Dana. Chris. Who the fuck knows what they're thinking. No, forget that. I...I know what they're thinking."
"Look, you don't-"
"And my dad. Jesus. He'd be thinking the same thing. Worse. He...he'd say I'm a fuck-up. That's just the start of what he'd be saying to me."
Not able to tell if it was rain or tears on his face, Carrie crouched down, rubbed his shoulder.
"Shh, c'mon. Lets go inside. We'll talk, okay? I don't-"
"I don't wanna go inside.", Brody refused, shaking off her touch.
"Brody!"
"No!", he yelled. Turning to look at her, realizing someone else he loved was involved in his mess when it was the one thing he'd wanted to avoid, tried to avoid by coming out here, Brody's features hardened before he turned away from her. Resumed staring down at the water.
"You...you shouldn't be out here, Carrie."
"Hey! I'm fucking out here because-"
"Just go back inside. Please, j...just go back inside.", he slurred, his tongue feeling weighted down in his mouth.
"Damn it, Brody-"
"You're not supposed to be out here, Carrie!"
"Not supposed to be!", Carrie scoffed as he slowly nodded.
"Bullshit!", she spat. "I am supposed to be here and you fucking know it!"
"No. You're not!", Brody insisted. "You...you weren't s'posed to find me out here at all, Carrie. You shouldn't have come. You...you should've stayed at the hospital."
"Look, I came out here because I fucking wanted to. It was my choice, I..." Trailing off now it was her turn to look away.
"After everything that happened, everything I fucking told you, I wanted to be with you. Okay? I needed you.", Carrie choked out. But looking back at him realized nothing she'd admitted seemed to have registered with him. He was still watching the water, shaking his head.
"You shouldn't have gotten involved, Carrie. With this, with me. You...you'd have been better off if you hadn't."
Glaring at him she let out a snort. "Since when have I done anything that's fucking better for me!"
When he didn't answer, rather got to his feet to grab the bourbon, freezing and frustrated Carrie came up behind, grabbed his right upper arm.
Out of pure reflex Brody spun back to defend himself, gripping her arm with his left while his right aimed to throw a punch. He was operating on instinct, under a fog of alcohol but seeing her face, seeing her flinch, nearly fall backwards off the dock, realizing what he'd almost fucking done his face went ten shades whiter.
Once getting her away from the edge Brody backed away from her, wide eyed.
"Jesus...Carrie...I didn't..I...I didn't...Are...are you okay?", he choked out, his face looking ready to crumple.
"Brody I'm-"
"P...please tell me you're okay. I...I didn't fucking, I swear..I didn't mean to, I'm so..."
Watching as he shook, bowed his head, when he staggered back, reached back to steady himself on the table she gasped when he lost his footing. Fell into a shivering, broken heap on the ground in front of the table.
"I fucked up. I...I just fuck everything up...I'm such..."
"Fuck.", Carrie sighed.
Kneeling next to, holding him close as he kept cursing himself out, apologizing, she knew she shouldn't have been surprised when he broke down crying in her arms, when she started crying too. Soon though she stopped, sniffed back any remaining tears before somehow getting him standing, steady against her.
He got sick on the walk back, resulting in more apologizing from him and muttered swearing from her as she got him upright again, up the porch steps.
The storm had calmed down but the cold had set in, and Carrie felt her teeth chattering as she led Brody inside, got him sitting in front of the fire that by some miracle hadn't died out yet.
Taking off her wet jacket, pants, she dried herself off with her towel before wrapping herself in his flannel shirt, then a large quilt from the pullout. After putting some dry firewood down on the fire she sat down next to him.
"C'mere, arms up.", she coaxed. Getting his shirt off she dried him off with the towel, then moved to sit behind him. Once he was situated, lying against her she tucked the quilt around them both as he groaned.
"C..Carrie, I'm sor-"
"Don't.", she said softly, brushing her lips on top of his head before stroking his damp hair. "Go to sleep."
When he curled closer to her, softly started snoring Carrie reached onto the sofa table for her phone, dialed with her hand not in his hair.
"Carrie? What's going on? How are you even-"
"It doesn't matter, Virgil.", she said softly.
"Why are you whispering? What the fuck is going on, I-"
"I need you to look into something for me. I...I need a friend to look into something for me. And, you and Max are pretty much..."
"The best most upstanding ones you got."
"Yeah.", Carrie sighed, biting her lip.
"Okay, what you got for us?", he asked, motioning for Max to quit playing Mario Kart and listen to her on the speakerphone.
"Okay. Have a fucking pen ready."