A/N: Sorry for the late chapter; I got whiplash leaving Thanksgiving break and moving back into college mode. Ouch. The next two weeks are going to suck ass.

If you haven't already checked it out, I posted links to two pieces of fanart for this story by miikkuli on my profile page.

Raising a Hand

by LQ Aredhel

Chapter Six

"Hey, Johnny," Daniel greeted when he opened the opened the door. His smile fell when he saw the expression on JD's face. "What's wrong? Have you been crying?"

JD didn't know why he was there. On the surface his mind felt dark and empty, but he could feel something in trying to remind him of what happened the night before, of why he should not be returning here to Daniel.

After being ushered through the door and sat on the couch, another thought popped up in JD's head.

"My friends are assholes," he announced, his voice tired. Daniel settled onto the couch next to him and put his arm around JD's shoulder.

"I know, Johnny. I tried to tell you."

JD nodded and lowered his head onto Daniel's shoulder. Daniel was warm. "I just want someone to talk to," JD confessed.

Daniel gave him a reassuring squeeze. "What do you want to talk about?"

The word 'rape' flew to the front of his fuzzy mind...but that couldn't have been right. It wasn't a word that he'd ever thought that he'd associate with himself, so why should he start now?

"Is this about last night?" Daniel asked, breaking through JD's racing thoughts. "Are you really that ashamed about it? About what we did?" He was silent for a moment, but JD had heard the tense anger in his voice and he was afraid. "And here I thought we were so close." Daniel rose from the couch and went into the kitchen. JD didn't know what to do; Daniel sounded like he was really hurt and JD felt bad about that. But he was also angry, and JD was very aware of the fact that Daniel seemed to become violent when angry.

When he returned a few seconds later, he sat an open can of beer on his television. JD hadn't moved from the couch.

"What do you want out of this relationship, Johnny?" Daniel asked, not looking at him. "You have to tell me because I just can't figure out what's going on in that head of yours."

JD suddenly became more aware of his surroundings as he watched Daniel take a long swig from his beer can. "Why are you drinking?" he asked. "I thought you didn't like--"

"It helps me. Now answer the question."

JD looked into Daniel's eyes for the first time that night, and he didn't see the hurt that sounded through his voice. His eyes were cold and angry. JD thought as quickly as he could; he didn't want to make Daniel even more upset.

"I want to be able to talk to you," JD explained quickly in a soft voice, "about my problems, my friends, my job."

Daniel nodded, sipping his beer. "You ask only that I listen to what you say, that I empathize and understand you, that I'm there for you whenever you need me." He scoffed. "That's not asking a lot." JD tried to say something, but closed his mouth when Daniel slammed the can down on the television, spilling beer everywhere. "What do I do now, Johnny? I listen to you, I empathize with you, I understand you, and I'm here for you. I do everything that you expect of me, yet you still treat me like shit. Why is that?"

JD just shook his head, completely at a loss for words. Daniel continued, "Is it because you don't respect me?" he asked, pacing in front of the couch. "Is it because you just think I'm a tool to be used and then thrown aside? I'm a human being, Johnny. I breathe and bleed just like anyone else, and I deserve to have a meaningful relationship just like anyone else."

He paused and looked at JD, who was unsure of what exactly he was talking about and how he was supposed to respond, so he sat and watched silently.

"You're getting everything that you want out of this relationship, right?" JD nodded. "Do you even care what I want out of it? Do you care that I want some comfort as well?"

"I try--"

"I know," Daniel said as he rushed up to JD and cupped his face in his hands, "that you try, Johnny. I know. But you don't try hard enough. You keep pulling away from me like I'm some kind of monster; is that what you think of me?"

"No, of course--"

"Then why pull away? Do you know what I want out of our relationship?" JD shook his head, trying to ignore the smell of alcohol on Daniel's breath. "I want the same thing that you want. The exact same thing; just some human comfort. That's all." He slid next to JD on the couch, turning the younger man to face him. "Just this," he explained as he softly kissed JD's lips and caressed his cheeks with his thumbs. "It helps me to listen to you, to feel connected to you that way." He kissed him some more. "And it helps you to feel me touch you, to feel connected, to be released." His hands moved lower, to JD's stomach. "It's a healing comfort, touch and understanding. We're healing each other of all the burden's, all the failures of the past."

JD felt himself giving in; his body was enjoying what Daniel was doing as his hands brushed against JD's bare chest and his lips ran across his collarbone. But his mind was running through a million other things: why was Daniel drinking? Why was he even here after what happened last night? Why was JD allowing him to remove his shirt? But the things he said had made sense; the touch was so comforting, it felt healing. It took him away from all of the bad things that had happened.

But when a hand went to the tie on his scrubs, JD pulled away.

"Wait, just no further," he stuttered. "Please."

"Are you serious?" Daniel grumbled, locking his lips onto JD's once again and pulling at the tie. JD shoved him off and received an explosion of pain in his cheek and eye as Daniel punched him in return. JD fell to the floor and held his face, his eyes tightly shut.

He heard Daniel panting above him. "Oh jeez, Johnny, I'm sorry," Daniel admitted. "You're just always fighting me like I'm going to kill you or something. There's no need to get so defensive." He left the room and returned with another beer. JD winced as he approached. "I'm not going to bite," Daniel said, offended. He pressed the cold beer to JD's eye. "Hold that there." JD did as he was told (the coldness felt good on his burning skin), and Daniel left and returned again with an open can.

"Maybe you should just head home for the night," Daniel decided after another long swig. "Get yourself cleaned up. I'll see you tomorrow."

JD nodded. He returned the unopened can to Daniel and left the apartment without a word.

JD didn't sleep that night. He spent hours on his couch with an ice pack pressed to his eye, channel surfing with the TV muted, watching infomercials and cooking shows until the sun began to rise. A few hours before work, he checked his appearance in the mirror to see, as he had expected, that he had a black eye; he was just glad that his eye wasn't swollen shut. He sighed and rummaged through the bathroom for Carla's make-up kit, only to find that all of her concealer was far too dark on his skin. Where's Elliot when you need her?

He considered, for a while, the possibility of wandering over to Elliot's apartment and searching through her things, but finally decided to simply walk to the drug store. It would look strange, he knew, for a man to be buying concealer at four in the morning, but he knew that explaining away his third injury in three days on a clumsy fall may have been a bit of a stretch. It would be worth it simply to not have to hear all of the curious questions.

After clumsily applying a light colored foundation around his sensitive eye, JD admired his handy work in the drug-store bathroom; his eye was a little puffy by then, but as long as he didn't wash his face or go out in sunlight during the day, it should work fine.

About an hour before he was due at work – and after wandering around downtown for several hours -- exhaustion hit JD, and he forced himself to return home and sleep for about half an hour before heading into work. It didn't help.

"JD, dude, you look like a dead man walking," Turk commented when he saw JD in the locker room. Turk was piling his things into his bag to go home. "Have another late night with your new lady friend?" He wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

JD mustered up the energy to smile and shrug before replying, "No, I was home. I just couldn't sleep."

Turk suddenly looked serious. "Are you having nightmares about wrist surgery again? Because I swear I would never cut you open unless you asked me to." He looked at JD with puppy dog eyes just as Dr. Cox walked in.

JD managed a real smile and glanced at his wrists fondly. "Yeah, I know Chocolate Bear. I'd trust you with all my favorite body parts."

Turk nodded fondly, while Dr. Cox groaned and walked right back out the door.

"He's so jealous," Turk decided. JD grinned and nodded. He could always trust Turk to make him feel better. "Good luck hanging with him all night, 'cuz I'm outta here."

"All night?" JD's stomach tightened. "Why would I do that?"

"I checked your schedule, you have a double shift," Turk explained. "There's a new episode of Gilmore Girls on tonight, but I'll definitely tape it so we can watch it later, okay?" JD nodded and Turk slapped him on the back as he left the locker room. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Even though Turk had already left, JD nodded and waved as he carefully lowered himself to the bench. He'd completely forgotten about working a 24-hour shift that night. Of course, he didn't mind working; any doctor is used to working long shifts on little sleep. It was what Daniel had said the night before that was screaming through his head and making JD feel weak.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He had specifically mentioned that he expected to see JD that night.

JD was suddenly filled with panic and fear. He couldn't just not show up, even if it was because of work. He couldn't disappoint Daniel again, because that would make Daniel upset, and god, JD hated it when he disappointed Daniel. JD prodded his eye tenderly before remembering about the make-up and rushing to a mirror to make sure that it hadn't rubbed off.

Dr. Cox re-entered the room and moved to his locker. "Are you still here, Priscilla? At least your boyfriend is gone. God, you two really know how to make a perfectly secure straight guy shudder, and that's really saying something."

The make-up was fine; the skin around his right eye was still a little puffy, but it looked normal if he squinted his left eye a little.

"I mean, even when Jordan used to go on about her guy-on-guy fantasies involving whips and cereal boxes, and underage Russian kids, I had no problem keeping my hands steady enough to cut that Thanksgiving turkey and pass it right along down the table to my completely wasted parents, but sometimes the things you say...well, I just can't seem to keep away the heebie-jeebies."

JD finished dressing and stuffed all of his things into his locker. When he turned to leave, Dr. Cox was standing, fully dressed in his scrubs and white coat, arms crossed and staring at him.

"What, no giggle-filled reply, SpongeBob? No high pitched squeal about how great it is for us to be changing in the same room? You can let it out, you can, because I'm perfectly aware of how excited you get at the prospect of standing in the same room as an only semi-dressed...well, me."

JD hesitated. "SpongeBob isn't a girl's name," he finally replied, bobbing his head for effect.

"Yet somehow it still applies."

"I'm just a little tired today, Dr. Cox." JD squinted his left eye when he realized that the older doctor was carefully inspecting his face with his eyes. He frowned in suspicion.

"You look it," Dr. Cox finally replied. "Go get some coffee and get to work." He slammed his locker shut and left the room.

JD sighed; that had been close. He'd have to remember to squint slightly throughout the day, or someone may look too closely. It would be worth not having to come up with another lie. At least he could play the 'tired' card; his eyes always get puffy when he doesn't get enough sleep.

Despite his exhaustion, JD worked frantically through his shift, pausing only to grab a phone book and escape to a supply closet to look up Daniel's phone number. He didn't actually gather the courage to call him until much later in the day. When the break room appeared empty around three in the afternoon, JD sunk into a chair at the table and dialed Daniel's cell.

"Who is this?" Daniel immediately responded.

"It's J—I mean, it's Johnny." He spoke as quietly as he could without whispering just in case someone passed the doorway.

Daniel's voice immediately softened. "Hey, Johnny. I can't believe you're calling me from work, that's so sweet."

JD hesitated. "Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"How is your eye? I really am sorry about that. Does it hurt?"

"No, it doesn't hurt much." It stung like a bitch. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm glad. At least your friends won't really notice."

"Why not?"

"Well, they don't really pay attention, right? I mean, at least you don't have to worry about that."

JD swallowed thickly. "Yeah, well I covered it up anyway."

"Like that was necessary," Daniel chuckled in his good-natured tone. JD closed his eyes tightly for a moment.

"Look, Daniel...I can't come over tonight." He waited for a reply for a moment, but was greeted only with silence. "I-I didn't check the schedule before, but I have to work all night. I don't get off until seven a.m." He winced as his voice wavered. He felt horrible disappointing Daniel like this after the long talk they'd had about their relationship only the night before, and he feared the explosion that was sure to come.

"Don't worry about it," was Daniel's tense reply.

JD paused. "Really? You're not angry?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, of course," JD said quickly, wanting to make it up to Daniel. "I have the day off, so I can be there whenever you get off work."

"AHEM."

JD jumped at the loud throat clearing behind him and whipped around to see Dr. Cox with his arm wrapped around the back of the couch. He was glaring at JD and searching his face even more intently than before.

"Be there at five, not a second later." JD barely heard Daniel's words; he was staring, wide-eyed, at his surprise company.

"Yeah."

"I can't wait to see you." Daniel's voice didn't sound too enthusiastic, but JD's attention was focused elsewhere; he'd suddenly remembered that he should be squinting and looking tired. How much could Dr. Cox have heard anyway with JD speaking in such a low voice? He ran through the conversation in his head anyway, searching for any weakness that would give him away.

"I've got to go." He hung up the phone, not hearing Daniel's scoff and the beginnings of a word before the button was pressed. "What can I do for you Dr. Cox?" he asked, the stiffness in his voice surprising even him.

The older doctor appeared as though he was trying desperately to maintain his glare, but a deeper look of concern and confusion was overshadowing it. "Was that your brother?" he finally asked in a gruff voice. He looked like he wanted to ask a lot more, but nothing else came out.

JD finally cleared his throat and stood to leave. "Yeah," he confirmed, nodding.

Dr. Cox managed to reclaim his glare and flopped back down on the couch. "Next time you disturb my nap I'm throwing that phone straight down the crapper." His voice was softer than normal, but he sounded more annoyed than confused. JD fled the room.