Umma go ahead and put a trigger warning right here because this chapter references self-harm quite a bit. If the subject makes you uncomfortable or if you're going through this yourself, please don't read this chapter.

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It was a week and a half into their prison sentence and Bonnie honestly didn't think things could get any worse. But as she stood frozen in the middle of her living room looking at the two people sitting on the couch in front of her she realised that, things could in fact get worse...much much worse.

In hindsight she realised she should've known something was up when she got home to find her grams already there when she usually stubbornly worked an eight to five at her herb shop every day, even though she didn't have to after they forced her to hire someone to help her. Then again, Grams never could fully trust anyone with something she built and nurtured herself.

But today she did, and she was sitting on the couch looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something.

The words wouldn't come though as Bonnie stood there staring at her estranged mother, wondering what she was doing here.

The last time she saw both of her parents was six years ago on her 12th birthday when she chose to cut them off completely.

They were selfish and couldn't be civil for one stupid day because they were so wrapped up in their own problems that they didn't even notice her cut her own wrist with the knife they used to cut the cake just to get them to look at her.

To see her.

Stefan was the only one who ever did. But then again Stefan noticed everything about her, and he led her to the bathroom where he quietly cleaned the wound and wrapped it up.

They sat there for a while and he just let her cry on his shoulder until Grams came looking for them. She found them sitting there on the bathroom floor with Stefan's arm around her shoulder and when she noticed her bandaged wrist she rushed inside and knelt down in front of them with a worried look on her face, asking them what happened, but Stefan only said one thing...

"They have to leave."

That had been the last straw, and Grams made them stay away. For six years they stayed away, and now she was here sitting on their couch, looking at her with tears clouding her vision.

"Hello Bonnie" she finally whispered.

The sound of her voice is what broke her, and suddenly it felt like the walls were closing in on her and she couldn't breathe, so for the sake of her own sanity she turned around and walked out the front door.

She was breaking the rules by leaving, but she didn't care. She had to breathe and if she stayed there, she knew Abby would suck the life out of her all over again.

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She ended up at the grill drinking away her youth when a certain blonde football player was suddenly standing in front of her from the other side of the bar, looking at her expectantly.

She scanned her surroundings to see if there was anyone else around. Nope, it was just her...and maybe a few kids playing pool on the opposite side of the grill. It was the middle of the day on a Wednesday so not much was going on apparently, which she guessed explained why he didn't have much to do.

"When did you start working here?" She asked.

"During the summer. I wanted to do something useful, and be able to take care of myself, you know?" He responded and she nodded, but kept herself from asking what he meant by that.

It wasn't exactly the conventional response she thought she'd get from someone like him, if anything she thought he'd say something like he just needed some extra spending money. But the way it sounded was more like this was money he actually needed to survive.

And for the second time since she's started interacting with Matt, she wondered what his deal was.

"So, what are you doing here? I thought you and Stefan were grounded" he said and she groaned miserably, burying her head in her hands because in the 30 minutes she's been here it finally sunk in that this could possibly get her into even more trouble with her grams.

"That bad, huh?"

"'Catastrophically' bad, 'drowning my sorrows' bad" she said and took another swig of her drink.

"I can see that. I'm curious about your drink of choice though...chocolate milk?"

Okay so she may have exaggerated a bit before...but still.

"I'm living life on the wild side, Matty, trust me" she said flatly and finished off her third glass of chocolate milk.

That should do it.

When she looked up from her cup she found him staring at her and tilted her head a bit, sightly confused "what?"

"Nothing it's just that...my sister is the only person that calls me Matty."

"Oh, sorry I-"

"No, it's okay, I like it when you say it".

He made her smile again, and for a split second she could forget that Abby was back and that her life was about to get flipped upside down again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked when she went quiet for too long and she shook her head.

"No, I don't really want to burden you with my parental issues".

"Well my mom is the biggest flake I know. Disappears for days at a time and only ever comes back when she needs money or when one of her boyfriends dumps her...so whatever it is, I might be able to relate to what you're going through".

She didn't expect him to tell her all that. Now, she kinda felt guilty because she really pegged him wrong, but still she found herself wanting to know more so before she could change her mind she found herself asking, "What about your sister?"

He leaned against the counter then and was suddenly closer, almost as if he was about to tell her a secret and she had to mentally tell herself not to lean away, no matter how blue his eyes were up close.

"She's at Witmore, but I don't see much of her either so..." he shrugged.

"But you miss her" she said, and he nodded but didn't say anymore. She closed her eyes for a second, her vision getting a little blurry from behind her glasses and when she opened them again she could see the bumps starting to appear on the back of her hands.

She leaned back against the chair then and hid her hands under the counter that separated them, praying to God that it didn't show on her face.

"So...what about you?"

"Huh?"

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked and looked a little worried. That's what she assumed anyway from the sound of his voice seeing as she couldn't really see his face clearly right now.

"Bonnie".

Well crap.

She had her head in her hands again and felt nauseous as her stomach flipped and twisted. She felt Stefan's hand on her back the next second. He was yelling something, but she couldn't make out what he was saying.

She didn't need to focus though to guess what he was probably yelling about. She didn't have to because she knew exactly what she was doing when she came here. She wanted to numb the pain her mother's presence brought along with it, and this would do it, even if it's just for a little while.

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She felt the weight of his head on her arm before she actually opened her eyes and took in the hospital room.

It was dark out and fairly quiet other than the light footsteps she could hear outside her room so she guessed it was probably late. And he probably snuck in here.

She took her free hand and ran it through his hair as the guilt set in and settled in her stomach.

"How did you know something was wrong?" She whispered after a while. She knew he wasn't really sleeping, because this was Stefan and he wouldn't sleep until he knew she was okay.

That made her heart clench.

"Grams called my mom...said Abby was back" he groaned before he opened his eyes and turned his head to look up at her. "You can't do that again, Bonnie".

"I'm sorry. I just saw her sitting there and I couldn't...breathe. I felt like that hopeless kid all over again" she said softly. Her hand was still combing through his hair and she could barely keep her tears at bay, but he squeezed her hand and she smiled at him.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He asked.

"I didn't want to get you in trouble...and I guess I wasn't thinking straight".

"You know my mom would've let you talk to me".

"I know, but you know I wasn't talking about your mom" she reminded him.

It was no secret that Stefan hated her parents with a burning passion for all the crap they put her through as a kid, and she knew that if she went to him that afternoon then he would've wanted to confront her mother with nothing she could do to stop him, which would've gotten them both in trouble.

He nodded then, but wouldn't look her in the eye anymore and she knew that something must've happened while she was unconscious.

Something that probably got him in trouble anyway.

"Stefan" she whispered and waited for him to look at her again. When he did, she could see it all in his eyes because he really couldn't hide anything from her, and she knew.

"You went to see her, didn't you?"